Nate: Bella's Untold Past and Secrets
by TwilightLuver-BabyDoll98225
Summary: Bella lied to Edward when she said she never had a boyfriend. His name's Nate and they something happened in Phoenix. Well Nate's now in Forks. Can Bella hide her past or will her secret come out. Set after New Moon. Slight AU Full summeray inside.
1. Preface

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**Summary: Bella lied when she said to Edward in Twilight when she said she never had any romantic history in Phoenix. She had a boyfriend named Nate and they had something happen when they were in Phoenix that changed both of them forever. Well Nate's now in Forks, Washington and going to the same High School as Bella and all her friends. Can Bella hide her past from Edward or will he find out a tragic secret she wanted to keep for an eternity. (Set AFTER New Moon.)**

_Produloge:_

Now matter how many times I thought about my life, I never thought I would be here. I never wanted a family. At 15 I was content with my life. Someone kneeled down next to me. It was Nate.

I never really liked or cared for babies. But this one was different. _She_ was different. I would have traded my life for her's in a second. If I had only had the chance. She was too young. _Too young_. And the longer it's been, the harder it's been to remember her.

I stared down at the grave for the most precious, most beautiful baby girl in the world. The grave read:

_ Novalee Bree Swan-Carter_

_ November 13, 2008_

_ Loving Daughter_

Just a month after she was born. I would have given anything to keep her alive. Even my own life. That went for two other people as well.

Edward. Edward is my life. He means everything to me. I couldn't and wouldn't live without him. Not again. It killed me when he walked away from in the woods all those months ago. It _killed_ me. Being with him makes life worthwhile. It makes my day bright and colorful. He's the best thing in my life since I came to Forks. He saved me more times then I deserved. Especially after how much I've lied to him. He thinks I'm perfect but I'm the absolute farthest thing from. I just wish he could see that but I also glad he doesn't. Because as I much as I have thought it over and over again, I still only have one feeling about him. Well I have a lot of feelings about him but there is one more potent then any other one. _I love him._

And the second person I would die for in a second is Nate. Nate is the person I met when I was 13. I was just a little girl then. Sometimes I wish I could posses the innocence I once had with him. Back when life was _light_. So easy and carefree. Back when I could sneak into movie theaters or hotel rooms just because I was bored. Back when was _young_. The hardest thing I ever had to do was walk away from Nate at 17 to move to Forks. When I was 15 I started dating Nate. At 15 I… I… I slept with him. I never told anyone in Forks about that night since I moved. But Nate is something more than just a past fling. He's Novalee's father. Even though I don't care as much for him as I ever have for Edward, I love him too.

I stared at the grave that my palms were now resting on. I have been in car accidents in my life. I have tripped and fallen more times than I thought were possible. I have had several concussions. Been on vampires' hit lists, almost serial raped in Port Anglas, been vampire attacked and almost hit by a van. I have rode and crashed on motorcycles and jumped off a cliff and almost drowned.

But this is different. I have felt more pain in 18 years than most feel in a lifetime. But now is different. This pain is different. Because all those other times I got better. The pain faded and eventually went away. But now, this pain, this loss for Novalee, it's not getting better. Why is it not getting better! Why did she have to suffer for someone else's mistake? Why?

Tears threatened to slip through my eyes, but I fought them back. I had to be strong no matter how much it hurt. I looked at Nate. He had tears streaming down his face too. And I looked at Edward, who was sitting in his Volvo 10 yards away. He looked like he would have tears streaming down his face if such a thing were possible.

I looked down at the grave again.

Not just anyone's grave though.

My daughters….

**Okay I promise the entire story will not be this depressing. PLEASE review if you want me to update and I promise to update VERY quick if you do. Tell what you think. Love it? Hate it? Give me feed back if you want or not. Please review!**


	2. Chapter 1: That Sounds So Familar

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. It belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Oh and all the clothes and Kalob and Nate's pictures are on my profile.**

**(Bella's POV)**

I felt butterfly kisses on the back of my neck from perfect icy lips. "Sweetheart, time to wake up." Said a velvety voice coming from my right.

"Uhhhh!" I mumbled intelligently. "It's Saturday!" I bluffed. I didn't have to look at Edward to know he was rolling his eyes.

"Love, it's Friday and you know it." Edward stated.

"Not in my world!"

"You are my world." Now I was rolling my eyes. "Now get up Bella."

"Mumum" I mumbled again

"Okay I guess I'm going to have to make you…" Edward slipped his icy hand up the back of the tank top I wore to bed.

I yelped at the coldness but stayed on my stomach and my face in the pillow.

There was silence. "Fine you asked for it, love" Then the sheet caught in my legs was off me and I was in one of Edward's arms.

"Fine." I sighed. He chuckled. Normally I wasn't so cranky in the morning but Edward and me had stayed up till 4 in the morning. Well he was telling me this was going to happen if I didn't go to sleep but I was worried about my test in biology today.

Edward set me on the floor.

"You up Bella!" Yelled Charlie. I jumped at the sound of his voice from the living room.

"Yeah dad!" I yelled back. Why wasn't he down at the station? I walked out of my room to the staircase. "Why aren't you at the station?" I asked

"I'm going in late today because there's nothing happening lately. Except that Cullen kid that thinks he lives here. But he hasn't violated any laws that matter to anyone but me." He mumbled the last part to himself. Charlie never got over Edward's leaving me last September. I internally cringed, as I know Edward probably did too, at the memory.

"You uh okay, Bells?" Charlie asked as he apprised my outfit. I then realized I was still in my pajama pants and skimpy tank top.

"Uh yeah dad" I then ran to the bathroom for my human minutes. I ran a brush through my hair and brushed my teeth then I walked back to the living room to see if Charlie was still there.

He was putting on his jacket as I walked in.

"I'm gonna take off, Bells, okay."

"Kay see you later" I called to him as he walked out the door. As soon as he was gone I shot up stairs. Edward was on my bed. "Hey" I said

"Hey yourself." He gave me his crooked smile. "I'll give you some privacy to get dressed." He said as he walked to the door. As he walked passed me he bent down to kiss the top of my head.

After he was gone I searched through the closet, through all the clothes I had received from Alice. Now the Cullen's were back she insisted to go shopping with me. I end up in a medium blue tank top, skinny jeans, a dark blue hoodie from American Eagle (Alice insisted against my will), and plaid blue sneakers and I threw a headband in my hair. Good, now I don't have to have Alice redress me in the school bathroom because she picked the outfit out.

"You look stunning, love." Edward said on my way out the door.

"You're biased, Edward"

"You want to ask Mike Newton for his option? I'm sure he'd love to give it to you." Edward teased but the second Mike's name came up he made a face.

"Let's go or we'll be late."

"No we won't. Not with my driving" He laughed. And with that he yanked me up in his arms and gently but swiftly threw me over his shoulder and ran to my truck vampire speed. He opened the door for me and lifted me in there. He pecked my lip before walking to the driver's seat at a human pace. Probably for my neighbor incase they were watching. I hate his driving though. It's too fast. I scooted over to the drivers seat and buckled myself in just as he opened the door.

"You thought I was going to let you drive" I laughed.

"It was worth a shot." Then a different emotion flickered acrossed Edward's face but before I could identify it, he masked it. "Bella, honey, I thought you wanted to get to school on time?" He was now trying to dazzle me. Oh that was the emotion he had on his face 2 seconds ago. Sneaky. Well it was working. He was trying to get me to move over but I wouldn't do it. He leaned in and his snow cold perfect lips pressed against mine.

I know it was only suppose to be a chaste kiss but I tried to deepen it. My lip mashed with his for 3 seconds then I opened my mouth and slid my tongue against his bottom lip. I bit down on his perfect lip. Edward pulled away.

"I wish I had as good of control as you give me credit for." He said lightly. I was now light headed. I guess that was his intention and we were going to be late either way now so might as well let him drive. I scooted over wordlessly. He leaned down and kissed my cheek as soon as he was in the drivers seat. He didn't wear a seat belt obviously because he could survive any crash but he insisted I did. Over protective fool! He reached my trucks internal speed limit. 55-mph. We got to school in 6 minutes though.

Edward walked around the truck and opened my door for me. I rolled my eyes as I stepped out; he treated me like a porcelain doll sometimes. I walked to first period -English- with Edward's arm around my waist. We sat side by side in the back of the class.

"OMG!" Jessica whispered to Lauren who was sitting in front of us. "Did you see the new guy? Oh my god he is so so so HOT! I think I'm going to melt!"

" I know! Same. And this time the little slut can't have this guy!" Lauren whispered back. Lauren hates me still but Jessica was being fake to me since Edward came back and I was normal again. Edward said she somewhere deep inside is glad that I'm her friend. But like I said, very deep inside. Edward needless to say bit back a growl when Lauren called me a slut.

I leaned forward and tapped Jessica on the shoulder. She waited until Ms. Smitt's back was turned to the whiteboard to turn and look at me.

"Who's the guy you guys were talking about?" I asked her. Edward rolled is eyes and Lauren glared at me.

"Why are you even listening to our conversation in the first place Bella Swan!"

"Because anyone can hear you a mile away Lauren Mallory!" I yell whispered like she had. I didn't need Jasper's gift to know the pride rolling off of Edward as I stood up for myself.

Jess continued as if she hadn't heard Lauren or me. "This really hot guy name Nate Cater has transferred here! And you should see him, he so delicious looking!" she gushed.

" Did you just say Nate Carter?" My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. That name brought up some bad memories.

"Yeah…" Jessica answered "Why-" She didn't get a chance to finish her question. Ms. Smitt caught us.

"Do you care to enlighten us, Miss Stanley on your very important conversation?" Ms. Smitt asked sarcastically

"No, ma'am."

"How 'bout you Miss Swan?" She asked me

"No." I looked at my hands in my lap. I then heard Edward chuckle. I turned my head to glare at him. This was so not funny! But he wasn't looking at me. He was staring at Kalob.

Kalob was a know it all freak who didn't have many friends but was noisy. Should have guessed he'd be listening. He was sitting in front of Jess. He had brown-slicked back hair and squinty eyes and wears lots of suits. Oh and he's about as horny as it gets.

"How about I enlighten the class Ms. Smitt?" Kalob volunteered.

"Why thank you Kalob!" Ms. Smitt exclaimed. I'm not sure if she really wanted to know or if she just didn't want to get back to her lesson. Seriously I don't even remember what her lesson was about.

"Well first Jessica" Kalob pointed a finger at Jess "was _gushing" _He put infuses on the word gushing. "To Lauren" He then pointed a finger to Lauren "about how dreaming this new boy named.. uh.. what was it again Bella?" He asked me directly.

I didn't respond but everyone's attention was on me now. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. I felt the urge to kick Edward because he saw this coming in Kalob's mind. I resisted for it would only give me a bruise. Or I could be mad at Alice because she probably had a vision of this and was listening in now. She always wanted me to have the spotlight where she thought I belonged.

By this time Kalob realized I wasn't going to answer. "Oh that's right his name was Nate!" He pretended to remember. " Well then Bella" He gestured towards me "asked Jess what they were talking about and after some whisper yelling between Lauren and Bella, Jess told her. And now-

"Okay we got the rest of the story!" Jessica blurted out

"Well if you didn't want someone to hear than maybe you should have talked a little later and not in my classroom." Ms. Smitt had a smug look on her face.

"What is this a punishment for us because you got divorced for the like the 3rd time last month!" Lauren shouted. Before anyone could respond to Lauren's comment, the bell rang and I shot out of the class so fast that Edward couldn't catch up at a human speed.

Once we were down the hall he caught up with me. I glared the fiercest I could muster.

"What did I do?" Edward asked too innocently.

"You saw that coming!" He still gave me the innocent look. "You screwed me! That's what you did!" I yelled. I didn't mean it literally.

"Wohoo! Way to go Edward! Living every mans dream." called Kalob. I realized then that could have a double meaning. Kalob dropped his geometry book so he could hold up his fist for Edward to pound. Edward just stared at it.

"Get lost Kalob!" I said.

"Anything for you, baby!" I froze. He just called me baby? Baby? I didn't like the way that sounded. Nobody had called me that in years.

"Drop dead" I said as I picked up his math book and threw it at him.

"I like them feisty!" He said

"Yeah well Bella doesn't like them dead, which is exactly what you going to be if you don't leave in 5 seconds." Edward's velvet voice turned deadly.

"Okay okay. God! I hope he doesn't treat _you_ that way, baby." Kalob said to me. He called me that name again.

"Now you got four!" Edward called. Kalob scrambled. I turned around when I heard laughing.

"Okay I so sorry guys but that was too funny!" Alice was in hysterics. I don't know if she meant the classroom incident or the Kalob thing in the hall or both but I didn't really care either way.

Just then Jessica came out the door to Ms. Smitt's classroom with Lauren 7 feet behind her. She didn't wait for Lauren to catch up; Jessica walked right up to me.

"Hey Bells, let's go before we're late" She mumbled as I followed her to trig.

"So that was uh embarrassing in class." I said trying to make conversation on the way.

It worked "oh my god! I know. I got detention for 1 week and Lau got detention for 2. You're so lucky you ran out of there but I wouldn't be surprised if she caught up with you later and gave you detention also."

"Remind me to avoid her." I said

"Will do" She smiled. We at that point arrived at trig.

I laughed as I took my seat on the right of Jessica and left to Angela who got here around the same time as us.

"What?" Angela asked

"I just now realized Kalob is only I geometry!" I laughed out loud. Mike who was in front of Angela laughed along with Angela and Jessica. " I took that in the 8th grade!" I went on

"I took it in 10th" Mike said quietly

"I took it in 9th" Angela said

"Same as Angela" Jessica replied

"Mike if you only took it in 10th then how are you in Trig now?" I asked

"I have my ways." Mike smiled at me then Jess. "Why did you take it early?" he asked me.

"Because I was in advanced classes before I moved here"

"Oh" Mike responded. "You want to do my homework for me since you so smart, Bells?" Mike asked.

"Nice try, Mike" I said

"So did you see Nate yet, Bella?" Jessica said changing the subject. Mike pretended gagged.

"No, why?"

"He's just so hot." Jessica gushed

"Wait do you mean Nate Carter?" Angela joined our conversation

"Yeah" Jessica and Me said in a union

"Oh Bella! You have to see him! He's not just good-looking, he's new!" Angela now was the one gushing. I almost laughed at the fact that it was such a big deal to get new students. When I lived in Phoenix we got new students every 3 months.

"Wow, did you guys talk this much about me when I first moved here?" I asked ruefully

"Yeah" Everyone said in a union and then laughed. Class hadn't started yet and the teacher was on the phone.

"Is Nate as good looking as Edward?" I had to ask. What if he's a vampire?

Jessica gave me a questioning look as to say 'how is anyone as good looking as your boyfriend?'

"No, Bella, he's not" Angela answered out loud.

"Edward's good looking?" Mike asked. We all ignored him

"Where is this uh Nate Carter from?" I name was kind of hard to choke out. As I said it brings back some very painful memories.

"Phoenix, Arizona." Jess said as if she memorized it. Now I think about it she probably did. I stiffened again.

"Phoenix?" I think I'm going to hurl. Wait no, Phoenix is huge and it's a very common name. No big deal. Probably doesn't even know who I'm thinking of. But I still couldn't shake the image of the Nate I knew.

"Wait, Bella that's you're from right?" Mike broke through my thoughts.

"Uh yeah." I said. They waited. I said nothing for a minute and by then the teacher was off the phone and called the class's attention. The remainder of the period was preoccupied by work. Once Jessica tried to say something but Angela cut in so she couldn't finish. She probably could tell I didn't want to talk about what was bothering me.

"Thank you" I mouthed to Angela. She didn't say anything but gave me a worried look. I owed her one. The rest of the period was full. When the bell rang I rushed off to Spanish before I could get any questions from Jessica or Mike. I ran down the hall. I turned my head around so I could see if Jessica or Mike or Angela were watching. The next thing I know I was on the ground. I looked up. Janelle was on the ground too.

"Oh Janelle! I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking." I apologized

"Of course you weren't looking Swan! You are, after all, just a walking disaster!" But Janelle didn't say the words. Lauren did.

"Oh and you're just so awesome Lauren!" Janelle stood up for me.

"Shut up loser. Oh wait, correction LOSERS!" Lauren shouted at both of us now.

"Bitch!" We said at the same exact time then looked and smiled at each other.

"Girls!" Mrs. Cope said with authority in her voice. We all looked up at her with surprise. We didn't exactly realize she or anyone else could hear us. "Go to class before you are late. And I NEVER want to hear that language from young ladies ever again. Do you understand?" She asked sternly. We all nodded. "Go!" She ordered

"Wait Mrs. Cope!" Lauren called and ran after her "I wanted help you in the office today as your assist. You know like I did a month ago? Didn't I do great? Oh and…." I tuned out Laurens annoying voice.

"I really am sorry" I apologized not only for running into her but getting her yelled at by the office secretary.

"Don't sweat it, Bella" Janelle smiled at me. "Besides, I wasn't looking either and well fighting with Lauren was kinda fun. Even if we are now on Mrs. Cope's bad girl list." We both laughed. We started collecting our papers that flew out of our binders.

"So what class do you got now?" I asked trying to make conversation

"Oh English. That's why I wasn't looking. I was hoping the cute new boy Nate might be in my class. I was looking for him." She flushed

"Oh" was all I could manage to say. What was I suppose to say? That I was running for the same reason but at the same time the opposite reason. I was probably just being silly. I mean what are the chances I know this Nate.

"Have you seen him?" Janelle asked. I shook my head. "Oh well he has dirty-blonde brownish hair, tan, hot body and amazing blue eyes with a gray tint to them. A little bit of stubble and perfect straight white teeth and luscious pink lip framing them." I bit down on my bottom lip so hard I'm surprised blood wasn't pooling out by now. It all sounded so familiar.

"Well I'll see you later." Janelle said now we both had all of our stuff picked up.

"See you" I smiled at her and walked away only to walk into the wall. A good smelling wall at that.

"Hello?" A beautiful voice said. Oh I almost laughed out loud. I didn't run into the wall. I ran into Edward.

"Hey" I said and smiled up at him

"Oh are you still mad about this morning?" Relief washed his face as I talked to him.

"Edward? What are you talking about?"

"I thought you weren't going to speak to me." Before I could respond he continued, "I'm so sorry I laughed at you and hurt your feelings in English. I should have warned you, love, when I heard in his mind that he was eavesdropping but I was too busy finding his mind comical. Still it's no excuse, I'm very sorry." Oh I had forgot that I blew up at him.

"I wasn't even mad at you Edward. I was mad that I embarrassed myself. Again."

"No, really Bella, you were fine. Not a soul – or monster in the room in my case" I rolled my eyes as he chuckled "that wanted to laugh at you." He said sincerely. I wrapped my arms around his neck just then. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me so he didn't have to bend. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he held his arms under my butt to support me.

He pressed his lips against mine like this morning. But unlike this morning he was less guarded or just wanted it more now. Either way I had to take advantage of the situation. I opened my mouth but this time he beat me to it. He opened his mouth too. His cool breath blew inside my mouth but instead of freezing the inside of my mouth it made the blood in my lips boil. He put in his tongue against my tongue and hesitated as if waiting for permission. I pushed my tongue into his and twisted them together. Our lips brushed back and forth. It was amazing, not usually the kind of thing he would normally allow.

Finally, for the first time _I_ had to break the kiss from lack of oxygen. I unwounded my legs from his hips and he squeezed my middle before setting me on the ground. He kept his arms around my waist and I kept mine around his neck.

"I'm sorry. I should have stopped that before it got that far" He apoligized. I rolled my eyes but didn't respond to his comment.

"I love you Edward Cullen" I stared into his eyes like I could for hours; he stared back like he could do the same.

"I love you more than anything Isabella Swan" He bent down and pressed his lips to my forehead for 4 seconds then he just rested his forehead against mine until we heard a cough from behind us.

"Aww, you guys are so cute!" Alice gave us goo goo eyes for a second but then continued more playful. "But we got Spanish now so come on love birds." Alice said. She was leaning against her locker.

"How much time before class." I asked not breaking eye contact with Edward

"3 minutes" Her and Edward answered together.

"Come on!" Alice nagged. She walked over and took my arm and dragged me down the hall with Edward next to me matching our pace. I'm surprised nobody saw us. Teachers or students.

"I'm surprised nobody saw us. Teachers or students." Edward voiced my exact thought out loud.

I laughed "Oh really? I was thinking the same thing. Are you sure you can't read my mind?"

"Yes I am very sure" Annoyed and amused crossed his features.

Alice smirked "People did see you guys but I told them to get lost. Kalob and Mike were especially interested."

"Of course they were." Edward mumbled

"Don't worry they won't say anything to any adults." Alice comforted him

"Good. I think I'm in enough trouble with adults." I sighed. Alice squeezed my arm comfortly.

"What did you do?" Alice asked concerned

"Well aside from Charlie is still angry with me taking Edward back" Edward cringed "uh this morning, well we all know what happened in English" I glared at them both of them.

"Oh I'm sorry about that Bells. I should have told you when I had the vision" Alice apologized quickly "am I forgiven?" She asked

"I'm considering it" I smiled

Alice's face went blank for a moment. Nothing that would tip anyone else off. "Yep! I'm forgiven!" She said in a bubbly voice. Edward and I laughed. "Oh but Bella for the rest of school today your future is blurry." Alice now looked worried. I shrugged letting it go.

"Anyways as I was saying before, I ran into Jenelle in the hall-

"The senior that should be a junior but her parents are pushing her too hard to succeed?" Edward asked. It's amazing how Forks has no secrets.

"Yeah her. And well Janelle and I got in a fight with Lauren-

"A physical fight?" Alice asked curious. She slowed down now we were closer to Spanish class.

"No, a verbal fight"

"Well then you're fine."

"But Mrs. Cope heard" I said

"I can ask Mrs. Cope to forget about it for you" Edward offered. I bet he could. I didn't even need to read thoughts to know what she thought of my boyfriend.

"Naw, I think I'm good." I rather not have an old lady having the hots for a supposed seventeen-year-old guy. Who am I kidding she probably already did.

"If you're sure, sweetheart," Edward said "You are fighting with Lauren a lot today. Something wrong love?" Edward noted with nothing but concern in his eyes and voice.

"No, she's just being difficultly annoying today more than usual. Or maybe I'm just having PMS." Edward laughed out loud at the last part. We had now arrived at class. Alice let go of my arm and Edward helped me take my coat off. We made our way to our seats as the bell rang to be in class.

"Alright class today we are studying how to talk about the weather in Spanish" Senora Goff addressed the class.

Spanish went by without any major drama, distractions or even side conversations.

But I still thought about Nate –when I wasn't looking at Edward of course. Each time I looked at him he would be either smiling down at me, looking the teacher or playing absent-mindedly with a strand of my hair that came loose from my headband. But the Nate thing was driving me crazy! Is it the same one I knew in Phoenix? If it's not who is it. He fits every description of the Nate I had shared so much history with. If it were him would he recognize me? That I didn't know….

An hour later it was lunchtime. Edward and me walked hand in hand down to the lunchroom, we took our usual spots at the table with Edward and me on one end, Alice across from me on the other end, Angela next to Alice with Ben, her boyfriend, on her right, Jessica next to Ben, Tyler aross from Jessica and Eric and Mike between Tyler and Edward. Down the table Lauren sat like she was expecting someone.

"Hey Lau, who are you waiting for?" Jessica asked

"Oh my gosh, Jessy!" She used her nickname for Jessica when she got excited. "Guess what! Guess what!" She was now bouncing in her seat. She kind of looked like a knock off of Alice. Angela and me were laughing at the site but she didn't notice. She continued as soon as she realized she had everyone's attention.

"I invited Nate to sit with me! And he said YES! He said yes you guys! Isn't that amazing!" Lauren said- No! She squealed.

"Did you get this much attention when you first moved here?" I whispered in Edward's ear not really wanting to know the answer.

"Love, please don't make me relive it." He theatrically begged half kidding. I looked at Alice who heard our exchange and was now fighting laughter.

"Here he comes!" Lauren squealed again.

I took a bite out of my pizza and chewed. I swallowed, not looking as I heard this Nate guy sit down. All the girls who had eyes were probably mobbing poor guy as I think this. Not that I knew what he looked like but I could guess. I took another bite and took a sip out of Pepsi. I made small talk with the guys and Alice who were also not over with Nate and all the other girls.

"What does he have that I don't?" Mike asked.

"Bella? What does this Nate character have that I don't?" Mike asked again.

"How am I supposed to know? I have a boyfriend" I gestured towards Edward next to me. Edward chuckled.

"Your still a female, Bella" Mike rolled his eyes

"I haven't seen him" I gave him my best excuse

"He's right down the table." Mike gestured towards the end, surrounded by girls.

"It's rude to stare and the poor kid's probably uncomfortable enough."

"But you have to heard people talking about him right?" Eric chirped in.

"Fine" I sighed giving up. Alice lightly laughed, "Um does he have nice hair?" I asked awkwardly

"Yeah"

"Nice car?"

"Yep"

"What kind?"

"A huge, expensive Chevy truck." Edward stifled a laugh in my ear.

"Oh that's a turn off," Tyler said. Mike and Ben laughed

"Why" I asked. Edward chuckled next to me seeing the answer in his head obviously. I glared at him. Did he not remember this morning?

"They have a small back seat!" Mike said. Everyone at our end of the cracked up laughing. I laughed embarrassing loud, which made Edward and Alice laugh even louder which made everyone else laugh even louder.

I looked up and saw the other end of the table looking at us. At the middle of the swarm of girls a golden head popped up. I recognized the top of the head immediately.

I wished more than anything I could disappear from this moment and never look back.

I recognized the head for many different reasons. One this is the person I have known for 5 years. That's longer than the length of time I have known anyone else in Forks, Washington besides Charlie. Second, this face reminded me of another face. A face so dear to me and to him- him being Nate. And the third reason I recognized this face was I spent hours looking into his eyes and memorizing his face. I spent more time with him then I did my mother while living in Phoenix. Or anyone else for that matter.

Part of me knew all along, deep down that I knew that this was the Nate I had known. But right now, I would have given _anything_ to keep pretending.

I knew Edward was looking at me, trying to justify why I was staring when I clearly stated that staring was rude a few minutes ago to Mike.

But I just couldn't look away. Nate turned his head to look at me and like lightning struck me, in a microsecond I turned my head the opposite direction. Maybe he didn't notice me. But if he didn't notice me than I must look a lot different than I thought. Alice shot me a questioning look. I shook my head, avoiding her gaze. I looked at Edward, but his eyes were on Nate.

"Bella," Edward said too low in my ear for Mike or anyone else besides Alice to overhear. "I can't read his mind!" His voice was questioning with an edge of panic. I heard Alice gasp.

"Bella" called a voice- not a velvet voice I have grown so use to. No, a hot voice is the only way I can think of to describe it. All eyes on me. Like today in English. But only now I wished I was in English or anywhere but here.

"Isabel?" He called again. Another one of his nicknames for me. Or one of my Phoenix names because he wasn't the only one who used them.

By this he had gotten tired of calling and just got up and walked over to me. I was sitting on the end with nobody on my left so I couldn't avoid him for very long.

"Princess?" he used the nickname that everybody used when referring to me in Arizona. I had forgotten till now about that. That was like my second name. Before he could call me anything else, I looked up at him. I looked into the eyes that I thought I would never see again. The eyes I that held secrets that only he knew.

The eyes I was running from.

All of a sudden that biology quiz couldn't come fast enough.

**Okay so I hope you liked it. The next chapter is coming really soon. I've already started it. Give me feedback, or just tell me what you think. In other words: PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE. It makes it so much easier to update. Lol.**


	3. Chapter 2: Flashbacks to Phoenix Part 1

**AN: So originally I was going to make this one chapter but when it became too long I decided to split the original chapter into 2 or 3 chapters. I am still working on the 2****nd**** one. I thought this was going to be up a few days ago but I hadn't read through and finished. The next one will be up sooner! This chapter pretty much shows you some more of Bella's phoenix life, doing normal interactions that led up to where she is now. All her friends' photos are on my profile along with outfits and hair and other stuff.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the characters of: Nate, Casey, Mason, Ricky, Dustin, Tommy, Allie, Francia, Taylor, Millie, Briee and Gwen. Again, the characters, not the actor in the photos on my profile. I do NOT own Twilight, sadly.**

"Princess?"

Nate looked into my eyes like he wanted to cry. I wanted to cry too. No! I couldn't break in front of him. He didn't deserve that. But he knows me so well. He can practically read my mind. He reached up his hand to brush my hair away so he could see my eyes better. Could he not see Edward next to me or something? He continued to stare, as did I.

In a second I shot up and ran out of the cafeteria. I didn't even care that Edward and Nate and everyone else were staring at my back. I speed walked to my truck in the parking lot, pulling my keys out of my pocket absent-mindedly. I jumped straight in, put the key in the ignition and floored it, not even bothering to buckle my seat belt.

What's the worst that would happen? It's not like anyone in Forks even goes above 30 miles an hour besides the Cullens. I mean, come on; you're going to get to where you're going within 5 minutes in a town as small as this anyway. Even if it was dangerous to drive in this town like it is in any normal town, most likely, I'd hit a tree, die, and then everyone else would be a whole lot happier.

A little voice in the back of my mind told me different though. Edward would be hurting. I couldn't hurt him. Lying to his face would hurt him too. But telling the truth would only hurt him more. I remembered his words 5 minutes ago.

"_Bella, I can't read his mind!"_

This thought brought some relief to my mind. At least he wouldn't know what he was thinking. But what if Nate tells him. I almost laughed at the thought. Nate doesn't tell anybody half the things he's thinking. It always bugged everyone how he was so secretive. Well, except me. I never minded. I didn't always tell him things on my mind either. At first at least. After a while all I did was tell him whatever I was feeling and vise versa. We had one strange relationship. We mainly said what we were thinking though when we fought. Which we did a lot.

I turned at the stoplight, not even bothering that it was red. There are no other cars on the rode now anyway.

I wondered if it was a conwincidence that Nate is immune to Edward's mind reading abilities, like me. I mean, how is it possible that the only other exception to vampire abilities, is my old High School sweetheart.

That's right, I admit it. Well I do in my head, at least. Nate and I dated for about 2 years. The whole Paradise Valley school voted us; _cutest couple_ and _most likely to be together forever._

It was so long ago that I had those thoughts in my head. I hadn't even considered ever seeing Nate again.

"Stupid" I told myself "Stupid, idiotic, retarded, no good, nothing girl" I said to myself again as I turned sharply on a corner, hitting 55 miles an hour. The fastest my truck can go.

When I arrived home the cruiser was gone. I was thankful that Charlie was the police chief. No way he'd be home much before seven or eight if he worked late. I prayed he did. Thank god. He didn't need to see me like this.

I slammed the door to my truck causing sparks to fly from the rusty door. I pulled out the key to my house and unlocked it in a hurry. Once I was inside I slammed that door too and double locked it. I didn't know what I was keeping out by doing so but I had to do something. I ran up stairs to my room. It was the same as before; bed unmade, computer shut off, and rocking chair in the corner. The same. I was relieved to know some things haven't changed. I wobbled over to the bed and sat on top of the comforter.

Nate. Nate Carter. The one everyone at school obsessed about this morning. All those girls to look at and he decides to stare at me. Why didn't I bolt the lunchroom or fake sick as soon as I heard his name. I didn't want to face _this_. I just got over _this_. This couldn't come back to haunt me. _He_ couldn't be back to haunt me. How'd he even know where I was? For crying out loud, can't a girl get away! This isn't fair! But if I've learned anything in life it's that nothing's fair. _Nothing_.

Now Edward's probably wondering where I am right now. And so is Alice. And Nate.

I felt tears prick my eyes. I felt the urge to hold them back, but nobody was here to see me so I should just get it out now.

Tears ran down my face, mixing with other tear that came faster than I thought possible. I started sobbing. Sobbing for Nate. Who has had to face the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with too. Sobbing for Edward. Who would have to know everything now. I knew that the hardest thing I could do right now is keep this from him. And honestly I didn't have the will power to drive a wedge between us. I felt more tears come just when I thought it was impossible. Finally I gave up and fell back onto my bed with my leg curled up so I was in a ball like position. It didn't stop the crying. I just started bawling into my knees.

I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep.

"_Dream/Flashback_"

_December 31__st__ 2006_

15-year-old Bella stepped out of the shower. She wrapped a short towel around herself. It was New Years Eve.

Renee was with Phil and her friends probably drinking. They did that a lot. Like once a week and on weekends. Renee normally spent the night at Phil's when they got drunk and he wasn't at an away baseball game. If he was, then she went to one of her other friends' house or stumbled home at 5:00 am. By then she didn't bother to check in on Bella because she's too tipsy.

Bella stepped into the hall. It was 11:00 at night. She went to a party with Nate at her best friend Allie's house. She and Nate left early to spend the night alone. It wasn't really special because they do that a lot. Let's just say even with Renee sober she's normally with Phil. Thank god for that. If she weren't they'd probably not have half as much alone time in her room. They have never had sex before anyway though.

Bella opened the door to her room. The lime green walls with her white carpet came into view. So did her huge window that hung over her double bed. At the other side of the room there was a glass door that went out to the wrap around balcony. Nate knew that's what Bella always wanted so he asked their friend Mason if he'd pay for it. Mason was a really good friend of Bella's too. He was so sweet. Just like their other friend Ricky. But Ricky was _such_ a player, not to the girls in their click of friends, just to the slutty ones from school though.

Nate laid on her pink comforter with his head on Bella's fluffy green pillows that matched the walls.

"Hey, baby" Nate said as Bella came through the door.

"Hey" Bella said. She walked over to the walk-in closet next to the bed. The door of the closet doubled as a full-length mirror. Bella brushed her hair with her fingers into an up-do that her other best friend Gwen taught her. Then she put in big blue long earrings.

Nate was watching Bella the way he always did even when she didn't know he was there. Bella dropped the tiny towel on the floor leaving her naked. As much as it seems uncharacteristic of Bella, she's comfortable being like that in front of Nate. He doesn't make a big deal out of it. He has 3 sisters and 2 brothers so it's not like he'd hadn't seen it before.

She pulled the door to her closet open. She pulled out her outfit hanging on the doorknob of the inside. Bella pulled on a pink bra with black pokka dots and matching underwear. Then Bella pulled on over it a blue tank top and dark denim short shorts, and knee high white socks with black strips around the top.

"You're so hot." Nate said dumbfounded.

"Thanks, that's the only reason I'm dating you too, Naty." Bella said sarcastically

Nate laughed. "Come here, Princess." He put his arms around her waist and pulled her back onto the bed on top of his chest. They rested there for a moment. Just soaking up each other's company.

It must have been a long time because when they looked at the clock it read 11:48. Nate wordlessly pulled Bella up from the bed and walked outside with her. They sat on the bench that was right one the other side of the wall from her bed. Nate's phone buzzed. It was Casey, Nate's best friend. He put it in-between their heads so they could both hear it.

"Happy New Years Eve, man!" Casey shouted through the phone.

"Happy New Years" Nate said back

"Tell, Princess, I said the same to her."

"Hi Casey!" Bella called into the phone.

"Hey, Princess!"

"Give me the phone" Ricky said to Casey on the other line. Bella took Nate's Voyager and put it directly to her ear. "Hey, Princess, are you there?" Ricky said to Bella directly

"Yeah?" Bella replied

"Oh hey!"

"Hey yourself."

"Happy New Years"

"You too Ricky"

"Tell your pussy of a boyfriend the same." Ricky called purposely for Nate to hear.

"Hey!" Nate called. They heard Casey, Ricky, Dustin, Mason, and Tommy laugh. Nate checked the clock through the window. It read 11:53.

"I have to go." Bella said practically reading Nate's mind.

"Wait!" called a new voice. Allie.

"Princess?" Allie's voice came through the phone

"Yeah, Smiley" Using Allie's nickname

"Um this is sorta embarrassing..." Allie started to chicken out

"You can tell me." Bella waited. Allie waited 2 minutes before continuing. Nate was getting impatient.

"Okay, well there's this guy here tonight named Tyler and he asked me out. So do you think I should say yes?"

"Is he good looking?" Bella asked looking at the clock again. It read 11:56.

"Oh my god! He is so good looking!"

"Then why are you waiting!" Bella pushed

"Oh okay." Allie laughed

"Call me later to tell me about it" Bella hinted to say goodbye

"I will so do. I'll even wake you up at 3 in the morning to talk if I have to!" Allie kept talking.

"You do that, Smiley"

"I'll talk to you later?" Allie finally got the hint.

"You sure will." Bella promised

"Okay. Oh and before I forget, HAPPY NEW YEARS!" Allie screamed the last part

"That was loud" Bella stated

"That was from Francia and Milly and Gwen and Taylor. Too bad Briee couldn't be here." Briee was their other friend who had to spend more time with her mom because she found out she was sexually active and had been for 2 years with more than 5 guys. Her mother's Catholic. Enough said.

"Yeah I know, well I better go"

"Oh and they also say they love you. I do too."

"I love them and you too," Bella starting to get tired with Allie not taking hints

"God Allie, can you not take a hint!" Ricky grabbed the phone out of Allie's hand. "Sorry Bella." Ricky apologized for Allie

"It's okay. But-

"You need to go because it's 11:58 and everything" Ricky interrupted Bella

"Yeah kinda" Nate rolled his eyes like it should be oblivious.

"Kay, talk to you guys later." Ricky called

"Kay, I love you" Bella said back

"I love you too, Princess" Ricky said as they hung up.

"Our friends have the worst timing" Nate stated as Bella pressed the end button

"Ya think" Bella said as the clock hit 11:59 and 20 seconds. Nate pulled Bella into his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her right shoulder. "Five" He counted in her ear

"Four" Bella said out loud

"Three" Nate whispered

"Two" "Bella counted

"One" They shouted along with everyone else 10 miles radius. Nate stood up, pulling Bella up too, with his arms still around her waist. Nate kissed Bella hungrily as they entered 2007.

His prefect lip mashing with hers, she mingled her tongue to his. Nate reached down and picked Bella up, not breaking the kiss as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her in through the glass door, stopping at the bed and breaking the kiss.

"Isabel, if you're not sure-

"I am, Nate" Bella interrupted him, not even letting him finish his sentence. He didn't need to be told twice.

He leaned over Bella on the bed as their lips started mixing together again. She reached up and tugged his shirt over his head, feeling his muscular chest, not breaking lip contact. He unbuttoned his pants and kicked them off, and then he got on his knees on the bed and lifted Bella above him with her legs around his waist.

He broke lip contact and took 2 breaths before kissing down Bella's neck. His hands came up and squeezed her butt. His hands then went higher and pulled Bella's shirt over her head. He then unhooked her bra as she pushed him back on the bed so she was on top and the straps feel down her arms and he grabbed her breasts. Then Nate unbuttoned Bella's shorts, as Bella slid them down her legs, pulled his boxers off completely.

Nate turned back to Bella and she started kissing from his neck to the middle of his chest. He then made eye contact with her, as if saying 'are you sure?' Bella just nodded and he pulled her underwear down completely. They didn't even notice that there were fireworks going off in the window behind them.

_End of Dream_

I woke up breathless. I didn't realize I was still crying in my sleep. But it wasn't a dream that I was dreaming. I _wish_ it were a dream. No, it was a _flashback_.

That thought brought on a whole new round of hysteria.

"Angel…" A velvet voice said. Not the hot one I'd dreamed of, but the velvet one I'd come to adore. I felt guilty for dreaming of somebody other than Edward. That made me sob harder. I felt even worse that he had to see this _again_. I cry too much. I tried to stop but I couldn't.

Edward pulled my face up to look him in the eye. "Love, what's wrong?" I couldn't form a coherent sentence.

I felt him kiss the top of my head and pull me into his chest. I continued to cry for a few more minutes. He just sat there, never once showing any sign of impatience.

He lifted me up into his arms and carried me to the rocking chair. He murmured comforting words as he sat down in the chair with me in his lap. He rocked me back and forth for a really long time; so long I fell back asleep.

**Aw Edward's so sweet! The next chapters will be up very soon but you know would make it be up sooner? If you review! And if you got lost with the nicknames between Bella and her girl friends then I have it on my profile.**


	4. Chapter 3: Flashbacks to Phoenix Part 2

**AN: So I think I am going to put Bella telling Edward the truth in the next chapter and more flashbacks. Leave a review telling me what you want the flashbacks to be about. Anything. Please I need more reviews that I got for the last chapter. Say anything you want. Just say _something_!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, * sniff * not even Twilight. LOL**

_He lifted me up into his arms and carried me to the rocking chair. He murmured comforting words as he sat down in the chair with me in his lap. He rocked me back and forth for a really long time; so long I fell back asleep._

"_Dream"_

January 23, 2007

Bella walked out of the Language Arts room 302 with Francia. (If you don't know, Lang. Arts is another word for English class. That's what we call it at my school)

"Lang. Arts is so boring!" Francia went on. "Almost as boring as my mom this morning, with her latest boyfriend Greg, oh my god he's such a couch potato! All he does is watch sports and drink beer. **(AN: Haha Charlie reference!)** Oh and get this, so my mom says he has to live with us until he can find a place of his own, then she takes off on one of her business trips and I'm stuck with him!"

"Are you serious!" Bella boasted her

"Yes!" Francia said with power

"For real!"

"Totally" Francia gave Bella a look like 'you don't normally care to talk about this stuff this much'. Bella looked away. "My mom is such a bitch. You are so lucky, Princess. Yours is so cool!"

"Mine's not around most of the time between; teaching kinder-garden, partying, hanging all over Phil and shopping." Now it was Bella's turn to rant. "Oh but the worst part is when she is around, she hovers like a helicopter!" Bella kinda over-stated how she felt about Renee.

"Really, as bad as my dad?" Francia's dad was a cop and when he was around her he never stopped hovering.

"Not that bad. Like I said she's never around anymore," Bella pouted

"Who's never around anymore, Princess?" Briee walked up.

"My mom."

"My dad hovers" Francia threw in

"Lucky, my dad's dead" Briee's face broke on the last word.

"Oh, Honey, don't cry!" Bella comforted her

"I'm not gonna." Briee's voice was automatically stronger. "I don't need him anyway. He wasn't ever really a big male role in my life"

"I hear that!" Francia stated. "My dad just showed up 6 years ago. He missed 9 years for crying out loud."

"At least he's making an effort," Gwen joined them with Allie and Milly.

"Now!" Francia yelled.

"Better late than never" Gwen was always trying to look on the positive side of things

"Still-

"Shut up Coco" Milly used Francia's nickname. "Some people would love to have a dad like yours."

"I guess, but he said he'd ground me if I snuck out again." Francia pouted

"That's normal, Coco. Normal parents ground their kids for sneaking out. And drinking booze and being sexually active." Milly said

"Speaking of that, I had the worst New Years Eve ever because my mom found a condom in my room," Briee remembered this past New Years. Bella remembered this past New Years too but for very different reasons. At first she smiled at the thought but then she remembered why she was worried. The thought put a frown on her face and worry lines crease her forehead and a pucker appear between her eyebrows. **(AN: Spoiler Alert for anyone who hasn't read Midnight Sun. It said that Bella had a pucker between her eyebrows every time she was worried or deep in thought, that's why I mentioned it.)**

"Hey, Isabel?" Allie called Bella's name

"Yeah?"

"You haven't said a thing since we brought up the subject of dads." Allie stated. They all knew very little of Bella's father besides she sees him for 2 weeks in July.

"What do you want to know about him?" Bella asked

"Well do you like your dad?" Gwen asked curiously. The question caught Bella by surprise. She thought for a minute.

"I don't really know my dad" Bella said after a minute of thinking

"That's sad, Bella" Milly whispered as she put her arm around Bella's shoulder.

"As far as I can tell; he's the head cop of a small town, sports fanatic, loves beer but sucks at cooking, doesn't voice too many emotions and well, as far as I can tell, he never really got over my mom" Everyone laughed at the end. Bella spotted Nate against the lockers at the other side of the hallway.

"There's your man, Princess" Gwen teased, pointing at Nate.

"Ha-ha." Bella pronounced every syllable. "Where's your guy, Sparkles?" Bella asked sarcastically knowing Gwen was single, using Gwen's nickname.

"Well he won't be a pretty boy, princess' man" Bella just rolled her eyes as everyone else laughed at Gwen's joke. Bella spotted Nate.

"See ya guys later!" Bella called over her shoulder as she ran to Nate. "Nate!" Bella called. Nate turned just in the nick of time to catch her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Hey baby, how's my girl?" He asked. Tommy, Ricky and Mason all made kissy faces at them. Taylor punched the guys playfully.

"You guys are adorable." Taylor said as she kissed Bella's cheek and Nate squeezed Taylor shoulder. "Ignore them," She said sharply at the guys.

"So cute!" Tommy mimicked.

"Shut up. You wish this was you!" Nate teased as Bella hopped down from his waist. All 3 guys rolled their eyes.

"Well, I better get to class." Ricky said to Nate. "Talk to you at lunch, Princess" Ricky kissed Bella's forehead as he passed her.

"Yeah, I'm going to catch up with Sparkles and Bubbles on my way to bio." Tommy referred to Gwen and Milly. "See you guys" Tommy hugged Bella good-bye and punched Nate on the shoulder jokily.

Bella and Nate looked pointly at Mason. "Oh, come on guys, I haven't scored in over 6 days. A guy needs to see some action here!" Mason teased. Bella shoved him playfully. Mason rolled his eyes and kissed the top of Bella's head after playfully kicking Nate's leg and turned down the hall.

"Baby, why do all our friends almost get more action from you than I do?" Nate said as a joke, referring to the guys' ways of saying bye to Bella.

"Oh, you get enough." Bella smiled. "Don't push your luck Naty" They talked for several minutes until the bell for 4th period rang. Nate smacked Bella's butt as he walked in the opposite direction and kissed her lips.

_End of Flashback_

The dream faded to black but I didn't wake up. I heard a faint hum in the background. I recognized it as my lullaby. Another memory then came to mind.

_Flashback_

_Later that day, January 23, 2007. 3:46 pm_

Francia and Bella walked through Bella's house door later that day.

"Thanks for letting me stay for a while. I couldn't take living in the same condo as that loser my mom calls a boyfriend for another second." Francia thanked Bella again for offering to let her stay at her house as long as she likes.

"No problem. Renee won't even mind if she does notice."

"Lucky."

"Not really" Bella rolled her eyes, thinking of how she wished her mom was around more. The girls walked up the stairs to Bella's room.

"It was sweet of Mason to pay for your room and everything for your last birthday." Francia said

"I know. I don't know what I'd do without you guys." Bella sat down on her bed. Francia sat down next to her. The girls talked for several more minutes. Then Bella started to feel a sharp churn in her stomach. She got up and sprinted to the bathroom down the hall. Francia followed her. Bella crouched over the toilet and became violently sick. Francia held her hair back.

"Are you okay?" Francia asked after Bella was done. Bella sighed. This had been bugging her all day. She didn't know how to tell anyone. She didn't _want_ to tell anyone. Even her best friends. She wanted it to be a lie or false. But she decided that she should tell Francia.

"Coco, there something I need to tell you" Bella whispered broken. Francia got really scared about the possiblities Bella may be talking about.. She ran through everything in her mind that might make someone throw up. Sickness, alcohol, maybe an STD...**(AN:I have no idea about the last one actually, but I just threw that in there.)**

"Princess, what's wrong?" Coco grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Bella looked away. Ashamed. Tears slipped down her face

"I'm pregnant." Bella said though her voice was cloudy.

Pregnant wasn't on the list Francia was thinking of 2 seconds ago. She was surprised. After a pause Francia said, "I'm sorry? I thought you just said-

"PREGNANT?" Bella shouted, frusterated not at Francia but at the world. "Yeah, you heard right. Listen, I'm sorry you have to deal with knowing the dumb slut of the school-" Francia slapped her before she could continue. Not hard but enough to get her to shut up.

"What did you just call yourself?" Coco demanded. Bella looked away again. "Listen to me, Bella!" Bella looked at her. It was rare anyone called her Bella. "You are not a slut by any means. Do you understand me?" Francia said with so much conviction Bella had no other choice but to believe it. "You are gonna be okay." Francia said softer

Bella gave her an exasperated look. "Okay? Okay! I'm sixteen and I'm pregnant! This is not okay!"

"But it will be." Francia comforted her. She put her arm around her and Bella leaned into her shoulder. They sat on the bathroom floor of Bella's bathroom in silence for a few minutes. "I'll be right back, Princess" Coco said nonchalantly.

"'Kay Coco" Bella whispered. Francia flushed the toilet

Francia stepped into the hall. She pulled out her cell phone and hit speed dial number 7: Nate. Everyone in their group of friends of 12 people had the other 11 in their imitate speed dials.

"Hello, Coco?" Nate said through the phone

"Come over to Bella's this instant. Don't bother knocking. I'll unlock the door for you"

"Why?"

"Bella will tell you that." With that Francia hung up.

Francia walked to the front door and unlocked it, then called Taylor for reinforcement incase Nate didn't take the news so well. Which was likely. Nate is very short tempered. And Bella is very stubborn. Not a nice combination. Then Francia went back to Bella who was still on the floor of the bathroom. "C'mon, Princess" She pulled Bella up from the floor. She wrapped her arm around her waist and started to guide her to her room, just as Taylor walked through the door. She lived right down the street so she took no time getting here.

"Oh, Isabel!" Taylor called from down the hall. She embraced Bella as soon as she reached her. "Francia told me!"

"Sorry, I just thought-" Francia start but Bella interrupted her

"It's okay. I don't mind." She said weakly. Taylor took Bella to her room as Francia walked down to the door to wait for Nate. Nate burst through the door with Casey right behind him.

"I told you to just come alone." Francia whined

"What's wrong with Bella?" Nate cut to the chase.

"Go see her and find out. Casey and I will be behind you but Bella should tell you alone." Francia gave him directions.

"Thanks" He patted Francia's head on the way by

"Can you tell me what's going on?" Casey asked as soon as he was out of view. Francia whispered in his ear that Bella was pregnant. Casey's face lost all coloring.

"Are you sure?"

"Would Bella say it if she wasn't sure?"

"But, it's Bella!" Casey's expression was bewildered.

"And Nate! Did Nate say anything about sleeping with Bella?" Francia questioned Casey

"Uh yeah." He said like it should have been obvious. "Did Bella say anything?"

"No, not to me at least. Why would Nate tell you but Bella not tell me?" Francia wondered.

"Because, Coco, guys talk about hooking up, while girls talk more about what guy is hot. Females are more private." Casey stated in matter-a-fact voice.

Nate knocked before entering Bella's room. Bella was on the edge of the bed talking to Taylor.

"…. I just don't know how to tell Nate, Star" Bella referred to Taylor with her nickname.

"Tell me what?" Nate made his presence known

"NATE" Bella jumped a mile

"Tell me what?" Nate demanded

"Star, can I have moment with Nate please?" Bella said not taking her eyes off of Nate

"Yeah." Taylor left

"What aren't you telling me, Princess?" Nate asked after she was gone. He came over to sit on Bella's bed. He took her hand.

Bella took a deep breath. She was going to need it. "I'm pregnant" Bella said emotionless. She thought it might be better if she remain calm and collected through out this. Of course she knew somewhere in the back of her mind that that wasn't true. She was about to tell him he's going to be a daddy, most 15 year old guys don't take that well.

"Excuse me?" Nate looked shock, confused, angry, scared, weirded out and hurt all at the same time. He shoook her hand off.

"You heard me. Prrr-eeg-nnaanttt" Bella sounded out the word like she was talking to a two year old.

"You have got to be joking!" Nate just didn't want to believe it.

"I'm not," Bella said firmly. He had to believe it

"Princess, come on. We were careful having sex. We used condoms and everything." Nate stated, trying to make sense of her sick, sick joke, thinking of how many times they have had sex in the past month.

"Not the very first time." Bella reminded him of the New Years Eve they had shared

"You can't get pregnant the first time" Nate said, though he knew he was wrong.

"Yes you can" Bella's voice was now desperate to make him believe it was true. "Naty," Bella used her nickname for him as she reached out to place her hand on top of his. "It only takes one time."

Nate's eyes froze for a minute; he was starting to believe it. He had been so dumb. _They_ had been so dumb. Why wasn't she on the pill, why didn't he wear a condom? He didn't know. They had never talked about this. They didn't think this is a situation where they'd ever be involved, let alone the center of the situation.

He then snapped back into reality. He believed it. He completely believed it. He couldn't help but be angry. No, not at anyone, just the world in general. But he had to take it out on someone. Verbally speaking, of course. He had to yell it out. Nate wasn't the kind of guy to think about his actions before he does them. He wanted to yell at someone. He decided to choose the first person he saw. Guess who that was.

"What! You're Pregnant! Damn it, Isabella!" He yelled, using Bella's full name for the first time since he met her when they were both 13. He got up off the bed and turned around. He started to walk out the door.

Bella followed him. "Why are you mad at me! It's just as much your fault as it is mine!" Bella shouted. Casey, Francia and Taylor who heard were running up stairs to see what was going on. It was a good thing Renee didn't get home until 10:00 on weeknights most of the time. She didn't exactly want to explain it to her mother right now.

"Are you sure!" Nate asked loudly. Very loudly. Bella knew he wasn't responding to her prior question but he was questioning her sureness that she was pregnant.

"Yes, I took 2 tests two weeks ago and then I took 4 more last week and 1 this morning and 1 during science. And them I just threw up a minute ago." Nate gave Bella a disgusted look.

"So what does it mean?!" Nate shouted.

"That I'm pregnant!"

"Damn it, Princess! Who's the father!"

"Are you seriously asking that question!" Francia cut in

"Francia, it's okay. I can handle it." Bella calmed her. "Are you seriously asking me that question!" Bella yelled at Nate furious.

"How many guys have you slept with?" Nate yelled again.

"You! And only YOU" Bella said exasperated. "You are the only guy I've ever dated!" Bella paused "You know that" She said more calm

"Oh how many time have you used that excuse, Princess!" Nate yelled spat her nickname at her now. That got Bella fired right back up.

"Do you think I'm a slut!" She shouted at him.

"Are _you_ seriously asking _me_ that question!" Nate turned Bella's question from 2 minutes ago around. Bella looked wounded.

"Shut you mouth! You were my first time! But I know I wasn't yours!" Bella accused.

"Oh what now you're stalking me! Did you look at me for years before we met or is this your guess, because to you, you are the smartest person in the world!"

"You're being an idiot, Nate! That hardly even made sense!" Bella said still steaming angry.

"I am NOT being an idiot, Bella!" Nate yelled back. He turned to Casey who was next to Taylor 3 feet away. Francia had moved in-between Bella and Nate, hoping she could calm them down but only ended up more upset herself. "Am I being an idiot!" Nate asked Casey

"Yes you are." Casey said flatly

"Shut up!" Nate said to Casey, but Nate had turned his attention back to Bella.

"And you were my first time too! I shouldn't have to defend myself to you, Isabel!" Nate argued

"Oh so I should to defend myself to you!" Bella shot back

"Well, you got some explaining to do!"

"Excuse me! _You_ should have worn a condom!" Bella shifted the blame to Nate

"_You_should have taken the pill!" Nate shifted the blame to Bella

"Shut up, you self righteous bastard!" Bella screamed getting more upset and saying things she didn't mean now. Nate now looked wounded as Bella did a minute ago.

Francia grabbed Bella's arm to hold her back from Nate if Bella tried to pounce. Knowing Bella that was highly likely. "Shhh, Princess, calm down okay. Him and you are just very angry. Neither one of you mean anything you're saying." Francia tried to soothe Bella.

"Yes I DO, Coco!" Nate yelled at Francia

"Don't yell at her, Nate. She didn't do anything to you!" Bella screamed tears in her voice. "Neither did I for that matter!" Nate knew it was so true, but he was so scared now he had become mad. But he still shouldn't have taken out on his girlfriend.

"Well, did I do anything to you, Princess?" Nate asked condescendingly

"Well, you just accused me of lying and cheating on you!" Bella pointed out

"Can you blame me?" Nate asked coolly. Like he thought she might do the same thing in his position. Maybe she would but she wasn't going to admit that now. Or maybe ever.

"You want to see me blame you! Just watch! I can blame you for everything!" Bella challenged

You shut up you little-" Nate started to call Bella a bad name

"Nate, think carefully about what you saying. You may regret it later." Casey warned him. Bella calmed down after a minute. Her head caught up with her actions.

"I can't believe you're doing this to me, Princess." Nate said angry still but more quiet and calm.

"I'm not doing anything to you, Nate" Bella said her voice cracking. "Listen, Nate. I'm sorry this is your reaction-"

"How am I supposed to react?" Nate interrupted her, gaining volume again.

Taylor sighed. Here goes the "Bella and Nate Show" again. Only, it used to be entertaining. The two people in all of _Paradise Valley High School _that were the most secretive and they sat around shouting whatever came to their mind. And neither _ever _apologized for it. But, it wasn't entertaining anymore. Now it was sad and scary watching two of her best friends dealing with something bigger than them selves and they are still fighting.

"You just told me my life might be over! What am I supposed to do! Jump for joy! And all because you screwed me into this and now I'm stuck with a kid I never wanted! That's not fair, Isabel." Nate continued. Bella's face hardened as he said 'you screwed me into this and now I'm stuck with a kid I never wanted.' Well Bella may not want to be a mother but she sure as hell wasn't gong to let her child grow up with a father that resents and ignores it.

"If that's really how you feel than get out! I raise this baby on my own! I won't have you there to resent _my _child for being alive!"

"Why, Princess, because that what your dad thinks of you? You think your dad hates you because you remind him of your mother. He never wanted you and he was never a part of your life!" Nate played on an insecurity that Bella had never told anyone besides him. That was low. He was never this mean when they fought. And if it wasn't clear before they fight a lot. Nate continued "You just don't want your child to feel the same with their father as you did with yours? You're going to be their mother. You're younger than me and poorer too. How are you going to support it? And Bella, what are you going to tell you baby when they are old enough to ask 'where's my daddy' or 'why do I only have you for a parent?' because they won't have a father. " Nate finished

"_They don't need a father_! _I_ don't need my mom or my dad or anyone else!" Bella shouted through the tears that were now running down her face. She walked right up to Nate and got up into his face. "_And I especially don't need you_" Bella fiercely whispered the last words with all the anger she could muster. She almost immediately wanted to take the words back but probably wouldn't have if she had the chance. Nate saw how his words ripped through her and became remorseful.

"Princess…" Nate started more softly now. He wanted to tell her he didn't mean it, that he freaked and took it out on her. That he wanted to take it back. That he was an idiot. But she wasn't in a forgiving mood right now.

"Get out! _I hate you_!" Bella screamed as she stepped forward and shove Nate away. He tried to pull her close but she smacked his hands and shoved him harder. Taylor put her arm around Bella. Bella covered her mouth and nose with her hands and started sobbing into Taylor's neck. Francia gave Nate an apologetic look and rubbed Bella's other arm. Nate looked at the damage and pain he'd cause Bella. He ran out of the house.

Casey pulled out his phone. He hit speed dial number 4. Ricky. "Hey, man, go yell at Nate for me." Casey explained what had happened. Ricky evidently agreed. "Go help Ricky talk some sense into Nate, Coco."

"Okay." Francia gave Bella one more glance then left.

Casey walked over to Bella and Taylor. Taylor removed her arm from Bella's shoulders. Casey wiped Bella's tears away from her cheeks with his hands. "Nate's just being an ass, Princess. He'll come around. I'll make sure of that." Casey smiled. Bella tried but it came out as a grimace.

Taylor's phone vibrated. Bella looked at her text message.

"_Where did you go, Mariah Amelia Taylor Jentson!" _from her mom. She used her full name.

"Where are you supposed to be?" Casey spoke the words Bella was thinking.

"My mom was throwing a party for her country club friends ad wanted me there to show them how much of a lady, _she_ raised." Taylor rolled her eyes.

"Go" Bella whisper. "I don't want you to get in trouble with your mom. And I can handle myself now."

Taylor looked at Casey. He nodded as in saying 'I can take care of Bella'. "Call me if you need anything." Taylor said to Bella.

"I will" Bella promised as Taylor hugged her. "Thanks for coming to help me." She thanked her.

"Anytime." Taylor offered. Casey hugged Taylor too then she left after that.

"Casey?" Bella asked

"Yes?"

"What am I going to do?"

"We'll help you figure that out. Just breathe now" Casey said as he pulled Bella to chest and wrapped his arms around her.

_End of flashback_

I rolled over. Something I shouldn't be able to do in a rocking chair. I felt something cold rubbing my back and a hand running through my hair. I opened my eyes, realizing I was in my bed with Edward.

"Hey, Love"

"Hey" My voice was none above a whisper.

"We need to talk about today." Edward stated

"Yes, we do" I agreed

"What happened at lunch, Bella?" Edward asked looking me straight in the eye, so that if I were lying he'd know right away. I was pissed at Charlie for making me a terrible liar as a genetic he'd passed down. I buried my face deep into his chest. I couldn't look him in the eye as I told him this.

"I know Nate. Nate Carter. I know the new kid everyone was obsessing over." I mumbled against his shirt.

"The one at lunch that called you _Princess_?" Edward was confused about my old nickname. I sounded different from Edward's mouth. More velvety with a sharper edge. Like it was a weird name, or one you give a 2 year old, not the way everyone else said it. Like it was natural.

"Yes"

"The one that is immune to my kinds powers, like you?"

"Yes"

"Where do you know him from, Bella?" Edward asked geinuinly curious.

"Phoenix"

"What?" She never talked about Phoenix anymore.

"I know Nate from Phoenix, Edward."

"How, Bella?" I didn't answer. I couldn't just say I lost my virginity to this guy in the town where I grew up and didn't mention it to you 'til now because it never came up. Oh and by the way he's my baby daddy. The last thought burned a little to think. He _used_ to be my bay daddy. Either way I wasn't ready to talk about this. "Bella?" Edward's voice had a sharper edge. "How do you know this Nate Carter from Phoenix?" I knew I no longer had a choice.

I buried my face deeper into his chest. I would have to tell him the truth. But now my only question is: would I lose him?

**AN: Oh sad ending part. And about the earlier Charlie thing in the beginning of this chapter when Bella talks to her friends about how she doesn't even know her father that well, I thought about how she only has spent 2 weeks with him since she was like 3 and how he doesn't talk about his feelings a whole lot and things like that, it kind of was my assumption when I first read Twilight that she didn't really know her father very well.**

**And also, incase you were wondering about Nate's reaction to Bella's pregnancy, I was trying to make it more of a typical guy's reaction. Not every guy in the world is so understanding about everything. I'm not saying all guys are jerks or that Nate's suppose to be a jerk, just that a lot of guy may have similar reaction, especially if they have a temper problem like Nate.**

**I think I might put more flashbacks in the next chapter. Lol. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not updating until I get at _least_ 10 reviews. Bahaha. *My evil laugh!* I know it's dorky.**

**Again in your review, you can put what you want some of the flashbacks in the next chapter to be about. Obviously, more of Nate's reaction is a give in. But the others can be anything. It can be anything, like Renee or Charlie's reaction and her old school in Phoenix's take on the matter. Anything or anybody. It can even be Jacob's reaction! It's up to you. LOL.**


	5. Chapter 4: Flashbacks to Phoenix Part 3

**AN: I kept the flashbacks in the beginning because Bella is not in either of the flashbacks directly. I again want 10 reviews or more for this chapter for me to update again. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. If you read please tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

_Flashback_

Nate was stocking up the street 2 blocks from Bella's house. He looked angry and wounded at the same time. Ricky was coming down the other way. Nate didn't want to talk to Ricky right now. Not after his fight with Bella. Maybe the worst fight they ever had. She was pregnant? Pregnant? Does it really only take one time? How was one second his life perfect and the next second his life was a piece of crap. Nate didn't understand it. He understood nothing. NOTHING! Ricky was coming pretty close. Nate pivoted and turned in the opposite direction. Francia was coming his way now. Great! Now he was being cornered.

"Nate!" Ricky called sounding irritated.

"What?" Nate said sharper than he wanted to. Ricky walked up to Nate and swung his fist to punch his jaw.

"Oww!" Nate yelled

"WHAT the HELL is WRONG WITH YOU!!!" Ricky yelled with an irritated undertone, obviously talking about how he acted with Bella.

Ricky was really close to Bella. Closer than anyone else besides Nate. Maybe even her best guy friend. The thought of someone hurting either anyone in their group, especially Nate or Bella, was painful to Ricky.

Even them hurting each other was a painful thought. Ricky blamed it on whoever started the fight. That was mainly Nate.

Nobody, not even Nate could ever really blame Bella. She was only defending herself to Nate time and time again. And yes she fought back but he fought just as hard. It was more blamed on her stubbornness. Yes, Bella was stubborn, but that was one of her best and strongest qualities. It's like saying you love the mall but hate shopping. It just doesn't work.

"You don't even know what happened, Ricky." Nate yelled back

"Hey, first of all man, I AM RIGHT HERE!" Ricky yelled in Nate's face motioning that he was right next to him now. Francia, who had also made it over was right next to Nate now too, laughed. "And second, Casey called me and told me what happened." Ricky informed Nate.

"Did he tell you all of the details?" Nate asked wary

"You mean that you knocked up your girlfriend, then tried to pass it off as if it were all her fault or that she was having some other dude's baby, then yes Nate, I know most of the details." Ricky responded.

"I didn't mean to take it out on her. I swear I didn't!" Nate was begging for understanding from Francia and Ricky.

"I know, Nate. It must be very over-whelming for you. But believe it or not you are going to be a daddy." Francia reminded him softly. "And you have to take responsibility for it."

"You don't even like your dad that much, Coco. Why do you think I should screw up an innocent child?" Nate asked

"Because I may or may not like my father but I spent years without one. And I would rather have a dad that hovers than none at all any day."

"My father drinks, you guys. I wish half the time he wasn't around. Maybe my kid will feel the same."

"My dad drinks too, Nate, but I'm still glad he's there. Because if he's not there, my mom gets twice as stressed out and then she takes off and I'm left alone. I spent the majority of my young life alone. Do you want your child to live like that?" Ricky asked Nate. Nate shook his head.

"But Bella wouldn't take off on her kid. She'd stick it out." Nate pointed out

"If she could, why wouldn't you?" Francia asked Nate.

"Because, you see how Bella and I fight. Do you think a kid would enjoy watching his mommy and daddy fighting?"

"No, but every kid does. Everyone has seen their parents fight Nate." Ricky responded.

"What if my child hates me? What if Bella hates me?" Nate asked

"Let your kid decide if he or she likes you for themselves. As for Bella, well, Nate she loves you and you know it. But well quite frankly you from what I heard, you were an ass to her, Nate." Ricky said

Francia laughed. "Yes, he was!" She giggled

"I owe Bella an apology." Nate stated. It was rare that he apologized for anything.

"Yes you do." Francia and Ricky said at the exact same time. "But she owes you one too." Francia ended. Moments passed and Nate looked more worried by the second. Realization hit him like a plane.

"What is it, Nate?" Ricky asked looking out for his best friend.

"You guys, I'm scared" Nate whispered the last part.

"Yeah, I know you are, Nate. And I'm sorry you're frightened. I will do everything I can do to help you and Bella and your baby." Ricky said

"Me too" Francia added

"But, you and Bella have been together for a long time. And you need to remember that Bella is scared just as much as you are." Ricky reminded him. Bella was the one who was pregnant. Nate couldn't imagine what she must feel like right now. "Maybe more" Ricky added on the end.

_End of flashback_

_Flashback_

Renee's cell phone rang. She reached to pick it up. The number said Kaylee. That was Nate's mother.

"Hey, Kay" Renee picked up

"Hey, Renee" Kaylee started to say something.

"Hey we should get together sometime." Renee suggested

"Uh yeah-" Kaylee tried to change the subject.

" Me and Phil and you and Tom. We would have such a great time. And Bella and Nate would come with us. We could do a triple date and everything." Renee went on

"Wait!" Kaylee interrupted. "Listen Renee" Kay said cautionly. The tone of her voice set Renee off.

"Is something wrong with Nate?"

"Um, yes."

"Does it concern Bella?" Renee's voice was now snapping into maternal mode

"Yes that's why I'm calling." Kay relied

"For?" renee demanded

"To find out if it's true" Kay asked again cautiously,

"To find out if what's true?" Renee was clearly confused

"Oh my god! You don't know?" Realization hit Kaylee. Bella hadn't told her mother.

"Know what?" Renee was getting anoyed. Everyone else knew something about her daughtar, that her daughtar clearly didn't care to share with her own mother. Part of Renee wondered if Charlie knew. She almost laughed, like Bella talks to her father more than 7 times in a really good year, aside from the two weeks Bella spends with Charlie father.

"Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this-"

"Tell me what?" Renee questioned obnoxiously "If this concerns my daughter, you better tell me."

"I talked to Nate last night. He came home late from your house."

"No, Bella doesn't have anybody with her at our house."

"Are you home with her." Kaylee asked. Renee looked around. She was in the living room of Phil's condo.

"No."

"Do you know who Bella's with 24/7?"

"No but she doesn't lie to me." Renee stated. Kaylee rolled her eyes.

"But you're not there with her to make sure of that, are you?" Kaylee stated as if she already knew the answer.

"What was it you were talking about Nate?" Renee tried to shift the conversation off her parenting skills.

"Oh that's right. He came home freaked. He's really scared and upset."

"About?" Renee was anxious to get to the point.

"Nate told me, that Bella told him, that she was pregnant-"

"No!" Renee said automatically.

"Renee, just think about it." Kaylee insisted

"That's impossible." Renee was just as stubborn

"Really?" Kaylee asked as if she knew the answer again

"Unless, do you think…" Renee almost started to believe it.

"Do I think what? Do I think they are having sex?" Kaylee tried to comfort her.

"No!" Renee yelled again. "No, Bella wouldn't lie to me. She told me they weren't having sex." Renee said as if she were trying to convince herself.

"And you believed her!" Kaylee questioned, surprised.

_End of Flashback_

_BPOV_

I kept my face hidden silently in Edward's shirt as I thought about the past. My past. It was hard not to believe that I was a different person. "Sweetheart," Edward broke me out of my train of thought "how do you know Nate?"

"I already told you. Phoenix." I said blankly.

"_How?_"

I groaned, why did he have to ask _that_ question. I would prefer to avoid it at all cost. "Does it matter?" My voice came off sharper than I intended.

I wasn't angry just not ready to talk. Not that that would stop Edward. He wants to know and quite frankly, he _deserves_ to know. He didn't deserve to have me lying to him. And I know it's useless, he would know immediately that I was lying. I suck at lying.

"It matters to me, love. Come on. Bella, you know that you can tell me anything." Edward voice was soft.

I pressed my lips into a hard line. A trait I picked up from Edward. He said I could tell him anything, but somehow I'm really not sure that this is really what he expects anything to be.

"I I I" I stuttered. I just couldn't form the words. I tried again. Slower now. "I dated Nate," I said slowly.

"What?" Edward's voice was quiet but uneven

"I dated Nate" It was easier to say the second time. Edward very gently grabbed the back of my head and forced me to become eye contact with him. He looked for any sign of lying in my eyes. But my cheeks were not stained with red and I could keep eye contact with him. He let go of my head but it stayed in place.

"But, you told me that you had never dated anyone before?" I didn't answer as he asked that. "Bella, what are you saying?" What was I saying? What was I saying! What did he think I was saying! "Bella please…" Edward voice was barley above a whisper.

"I dated Nate Carter in Phoenix." That was just about the smartest thing I could manage right now.

In an instant Edward straightened and his features became unreadable. He sat up on the bed with me still under his arm. He pulled me into his lap. "Start from the beginning Bella." Edward said as an order not a request

I thought for a minute. Could I tell Edward the truth? Should I? What if he flipped? What if he left again? I couldn't take that. I thought about it.

Maybe I could tell him part of the truth and not the last part. Just to see how it goes over. If he flips over me dating Nate then I won't tell him about the other part. But how could I not tell him. After everything we have been through and I am still not sure that I want to tell him the truth about my past, which I am not proud of.

But everyone has something in their past they wish they could hide. Whether it's a bad first kiss, a title they got in school, their behavior that was wrong, or something they lied about. How come I couldn't come clean about her past? Edward told me everything. Why couldn't I return the favor? I immediately felt guilty.

I was so lost in thought that Edward's shaking me brought me back into reality. "Love, can you start from the beginning about your experience with Nate?" Edward's voice was hard and cold but I knew it well enough to know that there was something brewing under his perfect mask that helps him lie and cover things up.

"Okay, Edward. You want me to start from the beginning?" I asked just to clarify.

"Yes, honey, that's what I asked." Edward was getting annoyed with her distractions and stalling.

"I was 13 years old and going to PV- the elementary, middle and high school are all name Paradise Valley by the way, anyways I was outside during lunch because I was fighting with my friend Milly and I had the same lunch as her and I didn't want to deal with it. I was walking outside when I saw this guy leaning against the brick wall of the gym that we all laughed at of because the wall was really old and trashy looking. And he spray-painted his name in green saying 'Nate waz here!' and I was wanting to be cool because I found him very good looking" I paused to look at Edward's reaction to my choice of words. To my surprise he looked amused, so I continued. "I walked up to him. He hadn't realized I was there. I grabbed the spray can out of his hand and I spray painted 'Princess' right above Nate's name."

"Is that why he called you Princess?" Edward interrupted

"I'm getting to that." I promised. "Anyway, I got to know Nate very well. Nate had a few of friends named Casey, Dustin, Mason, Ricky, and Dustin. And I had a few friends named Milly, Francia, Allie, Gwen, Taylor and Briee. We all became like best friends almost instantly. Which Renee like because it kept me busy so she didn't have to." There was a bitter edge to my voice I don't think Edward had ever heard before when I mentioned my mother. I continued on anyway, he wanted to hear it, like hell, he was going to. "Well, everything was great in my life. I had Nate as my boyfriend, Ricky and Francia were my closet friends but not by far. Then…" I trailed off. Not really sure how to tell my one hundred and something year old virgin boyfriend that I gave it up on New Years Eve. How cliché.

"Then?" Edward prompted. I didn't respond. Edward sighed. "Did he hurt you?" He asked

"No" I said blankly

"Did he fight with you?"

"No"

"Did he leave you?"

"No"

"Bella, you have to give me some details here. I know you told me the beginning but right now I'm coming up blank."

"I I I" I stuttered again. I took a deep breath

"Bella listen, okay. I love you more than anything and everything in the world combined. You are my light and my life. There's not anything you could say to make me let go. You can to me with anything. Please, I just want to know why it has got you so upset." Edward pleaded. I shut my eyes.

"Nate and me had sex." I blurted out. Edward's face got enviably paler. He couldn't keep his mask up for a long moment, then he composed himself.

"You slept with Nate?" Edward's voice matched his face

"Yes." I said evenly

He took a deep unnecessary breath in. The shocked look left his face and then angry, hurt, sad, and amused played across. I was surprised by the last one. He seemed to settle for amused but I could see the hurt under his mask.

"So was it so bad, love, that you were crying about it?" Edward asked kidding

"Not exactly…" I answered.

"What do you mean?"

"There's more to it." I wasn't sure if I should tell him that I got knocked up.

"More?"

"Yes"

"Carry on." Edward insisted. Fine, he was about to find out my biggest secret ever.

"I got pregnant," I said. I heard a growl deep in his chest that I still had my head against.

"Why the nerve of that idiotic excuse for a male. He got you pregnant, then he left you to take care of the baby alone and you had nobody so you got an abortion then you regretted the abortion and moved to Forks to forget about it. And now he's back and you are reminded of the sick thing this bastard lead you to do!" Edward ranted his assumption.

"That's not what happened" I cut in before he could make anymore wrong guesses. I guess it may just be better for me to come clean about it and tell him everything. It's better for him to know the truth than to make wrong assumptions and get everything screwed up.

"What happened, Bella?" His voice still hard

"I got pregnant and he reacted, well, he reacted kind of like a typical guy you think would react. After he got over the mild shock of it all he came around and we decided to keep the baby and raise it ourselves. My mom was supportive of it, and so were his parents. I never told Charlie." I admitted. I looked at Edward. He looked confused.

"If you had a baby, Bella, then where is it?" Edward asked

"You see, uh, I had the baby, it was a girl." My voice broke. I stung so badly to talk about it. "She was beautiful. She had golden hair like Nate's and these gorgeous sea blue eyes, that came from my great grandmother and she was perfect! I mean absolutely perfect!" Now I was speaking with pride bursting through in my voice. "She was big for a baby but still the best in the world. Not fat, just she didn't really look like a nmonth old baby. I mean she had a full head of hair and everything. Renee thought that was what she got from me and my nose and my skin tine too." I looked up at Edward's face. It was thoughtful. Then I remembered what went wrong. "Nate has 3 sisters and 2 brothers. Ryann was Nate's 19-year-old brother. He was a drug addict. Nate's father was an alcoholic but he still was okay with the idea we were going to be parents. But his brother never really cared. He could take being an uncle or leave it. Nate's sisters obsessed with being aunts and his other brother, Aiden was happy to be an uncle. Then one month after we had her, we were in the car, Nate was driving and I was in the passenager seat, and she was in the car seat in the back. Nate's brother was driving a different car, while being high. He hit the car. He hit our car. He hit the side of he car our little girl was on. She was automatically killed." I now realized I was sobbing. "Her name was Novalee" was all I could manage to get out. I tried to look through my tears to make out Edward's expression. It had sorrow written all over it. He laid back down, on the bed, with me still in his lap, crying.

"I'm sorry, Angel. I'm so sorry." Edward said as he kissed my forehead. I wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault but I couldn't form the words. So I settled for sobbing in his neck while he rubbed my back.

"I love you" was all I could mange to say

"I love you so much more." Edward promised.

**AN: Review, review, review and like I said before I'll get on updating as soon as possible. This is my first priority story so I really spend a good portion of my time updating and writing this. Please review. I need 10 to update again. Thank you.**


	6. Chapter 5: The Truth About Phoenix

**AN: All right! 21 reviews for the last chapter, that's more than expected! I love every single one of you who reviewed so I'm going to send a shout out to all of you; DeformedGirl, Mandie215, bornagoof, Sour Candy, Vamps09, twilighter1414, mikenewtonislove, goldeneyes123, StarEfron88, GlitterHottie12, Fromoldtonew, and the last ten anonymous reviews, Talia, Nikki, Hilary Meek, Kadi, Alexandra, Samantha, Rachel, Carly, Kaitlen, and Holly. Wow that's a long list! I'm not going to ask you for another 20 reviews (I'm not that greedy) I just want 15 reviews for this chapter. Thank you to everyone who review and a special thanks to bornagoof who gave me the idea to do this chapter Edward's point of view and has review several chapters if not all of them. I've never done Edward's POV before so tell me how I did and give me feedback please. Thanks again to everyone whose read my story at all.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! I can only dream.**

(Edward's POV)

Bella kept her face buried deep in my chest as she thought. She was so adorable when she did that. She looked like she was sleeping. She looked like an angel when she slept. I don't think she realized that she was speaking aloud. Not a full sentence but one or two words every few seconds, like she did in her sleep.

"Nate…..Nate fight…..Novalee...Starr…crash…..Ryann" Bella mumbled sleepily against my chest.

Who are these people that she's talking about. Are they here friends? Maybe she was friends with Nate in Phoenix. That's possible. But definitely not likely. What were the chances she had a good enough friendship with someone from a huge town, and they just so happen to move here after you did. Almost impossible.

But Bella had terrible fortune. Terrible, terrible terribly bad luck. How likely was it that she was going to move to the smallest town in the continental United States, which so happened to have vampires? On top of that she had been through a vampire attack, one that almost claimed her life. Hung around with wolves _and _vampires. As if _one _of those weren't enough. She had rode on motorcycles I don't know how many time. Oh and let's not forget, she jumped off a cliff, for Christ sake! I highly doubt that she did any of this in Phoenix.

It was clear, I was a hazard to her life, every second I am with her puts her in more and more danger. But the more I thought about Nate and Bella and her life in Phoenix, the more I realized that I hadn't known Bella all her life. She had a past that I was unaware of. She claims it was not interesting but was there anything about her that was not interesting? Not to me at least. I knew very little of her life in Phoenix. Or her life before she moved to Forks, in general.

What had she been like? I wondered if she had more friends than she led on. Did she belong to a group? If so, what group did she hang out with? What were her friends like? Did she have a boyfriend before she met me? Was she in love before? That got me think about this Nate kid more. What if Nate was more than a friend to her in Phoenix? What if they had a connection?

I instantly felt more jealous now than I had in over 100 year. I wanted to kill him. I imagined myself tracking down this Nate Carter and ripping his head off. It was an intriguing idea.

Surely he wouldn't be hard to find in a town as small as this, even with him being new. He was certainly the new local gossip. And with his curiosity with Bella at lunch, he would most likely be at school Monday.

I silently cursed the weekend. It came at such a dreaded time. But I also silently cursed myself. Was I so caught up in the jealousy that threatened to erupt from my head that I would take an innocent life? One that did nothing wrong. And so what if he did do something wrong? I've had more than my fair share of lies and wrong doings. Maybe I was reading too much into this. Maybe Bella had nothing to do with Nate.

I was in Phoenix last year when James was tracking Bella. James' name made me want to kill something again. But, because I had been there, now I knew Bella wasn't lying when she said Phoenix was absolutely huge. It was 5 times the size of Seattle and Seattle was 5 times the size of Forks.

It was possible that they only mutually knew each other through acquaintances. That may have been how she recognized him. But who was Starr? Or Ryann? And what did a crash have to do with them. And who was Novalee? It was a strange name, to say the least. But still, a very pretty name.

The meaning of it came to my mind then. Novalee can mean "new field". That wasn't a very appealing meaning to a name, but what name meaning is?

The meaning of Edward in English is "guardian of property", in Anglo-Saxon its just "property", and in German it's "strong as boar". I had to laugh at the last one.

The definition of Bella in Spanish is "beautiful." That's probably the best name definition and most fitting I've heard in a long time. But then again, I was a protector. A protector of Bella. Or at least I tried to be. In Hebrew Bella and Isabella are both "Devoted to God." In Spanish Isabella means "Variant of Elizabeth, My God is bountiful: God of plenty." That's a little confusing, even to me. Bella has the best name anyway.

Another definition of Novalee is "chases butterflies." That's a little better but still kind of weird in my option. Maybe a parent would name their child Novalee if they separated it into two words put together. A nova is a very luminous star. And lee means clearing. Clear-Starr is the best reason to name a child Novalee I could come up with, if you go by the definition.

Maybe it had nothing to do with any definition and the parents just liked the way it sounded. Noh-vah-leey. That is how it sounds. It's a very pretty name, at least. Maybe I'm just reading too much into this and it's really irrelevant.

I went back to thinking of Nate Carter. I wish that I already knew what this boy meant to my Bella. Maybe she hated him. I liked that idea more than I should. More than I was comfortable explaining to anyone. Maybe I would be doing her a favor by killing him. My phone buzzed in my jean pocket. Alice was calling. I picked up the phone but started talking vampire speed. Too fast and too low for Bella to hear or understand. Besides I think she went back to sleep.

"Why the HELL am I getting flashes of your future getting all blurry, Edward?" Alice was clearly annoyed. She didn't like don't being able to see the future and she hated blind spots. It's one of the reasons why she hates Jacob Black and the rest of the La Push Pack.

"Can you keep your voice down, Alice, Bella is sleeping!" I said a vampire speed.

"Oh well why don't you wake her up. I'm so sure she'd love to know why your future is disappearing!" Alice said angered but it wasn't hard to tell she was frightened something had happened.

Alice loves me and Bella and the rest of our family like we were a biological family. As does Esme, and Carlisle and everyone else. Except Rosalie who doesn't approve of Bella, but I ignore her most of the time.

But what Alice said hit me somehow. I was thinking of killing Nate Carter. Alice had a vision of my future disappearing or blurring. It doesn't seem likely he'd be a wolf or something powerful. But I couldn't read his mind. Just like I couldn't read Bella's. Another similarity that held those to together, I didn't like it. Not at all. But then Alice could see Bella's future, was it possible though that she can't see Nate's? Why would that be?

"Edward" Alice's voice rang through the phone. I had been quiet for quite some time now. She sounded annoyed. She must be getting worried.

"Alice, remember, I can't read Nate's mind?"

"Uh Yeah." The annoyment was still there. She didn't like not knowing where this conversation was going.

"Well, maybe you can't see his future either." I pointed out

"But you can't read Bella's mind but I can see her future and Jasper can manipulate her feelings."

"Yes, but Nate isn't exactly the same as Bella" Saying the words made me feel better. They weren't the same, just similar in one or two ways.

"So" Alice was clearly changing the subject. "How do you think Bella know the new guy?"

"I don't know Alice, I really wish I knew." I said. Actually I may have whined a tiny bit.

"Well, ask her, silly!" Alice suggested

"I will, I will." I promised. "When she wakes up."

"No! Do it now" Alice whined

"Why are you so anxious?"

"Well, incase you haven't noticed you aren't the only one who wants to know."

"Who else." I groaned

"Emmett and Jasper are taking bets." Alice stated

"What!" How could they act so nonchalant about something so serious to me?

"Well, Emmett's betting it's her secret third cousin and Jasper's betting it's her step-brother. They wouldn't have bet brother but they look nothing alike." Alice explained.

I secretly hoped they were right. I liked their theories better than my own. Neither of theirs had anything to do with a boyfriend Bella never mentioned.

"What do you think?" I shouldn't have asked

"I think it's her twin mobster brother that she ran away from and now he's here to kill her." Alice stated her theory. I should have known Alice would have cooked something crazy up. Even as crazy as it was, I'd rather have that than any of my theories.

"Goodbye Alice" I said as I hung up.

Bella stirred in my arms, which were wrapped tightly around her. I decided to wake her.

"Sweetheart" I tried to make my voice as gentle as possible. "How do you know Nate?"

"I told you. Phoenix." Bella stated as if it should have been the most obvious thing in the world.

"_How?"_ I took a lot of work to make my voice even and at a normal level.

Bella groaned. It just made more worried that my theories were true. What if she did have a past with him? What if she had a _future_ with him? A better one than I could give her. One with normal people and friends and her parents and human things. And children. Bella may not want to be a mother now but, what if she regretted that later?

"Does it matter?" Her voice annoyed and angry. Like she didn't care to share that information with me. I composed my face, grateful that she couldn't see how much that had hurt me.

"It matters to me, love." I said softly. I was desperate for her to tell me, but I hated pestering her like this. I didn't want to make her unhappy. "Come on. Bella, you know you can tell me anything." I wasn't lying. I truly meant every word I said to her.

She seemed to be pondering something for a moment. Finally she stuttered out "I I I" She couldn't finish her sentence. She stopped, slowed down and tried again. "I dated Nate," She said slowly.

Like the world just caved in on me, I couldn't breathe. Not that I need to but still, it was the point behind it. She dated Nate. She had a past with him. She confirmed my worst fear. The thing I was praying to not come out of her mouth, but somewhere deep inside, I knew that it was most likely. I saw the way he looked at her in the cafeteria. A look I possessed when I looked at her.

I wanted to kill Nate so badly right now; I wanted him dead and on the ground for even existing. I wanted him gone and never coming back. It took all my will power and the voice in my head that told me I had my love in my arms. They tightened around Bella just for a reminder.

"What?" It again took all my control not to raise my voice to a level that may destroy my Bella's hearing. More control than I thought I had.

"I dated Nate." Bella said it even and easier the second time. That only made it hard for me. I had to know if it were true though. I can't read either one of their minds so that made it more difficult. But Bella is the worst liar I know. Her face would give it away if nothing else did.

I grabbed the back of Bella's head, very gently, so I didn't crush her skull. It was like touching a soap bubble. A soap bubble that I loved. The most important thing in the world to me.

I sat up with my hand still guiding her head, forcing her to sit up with me. I looked for any trace that she was lying. The signs were normally: blush, not making eye contact, and smiling or giggling. She did none of those. Actually she did the exact opposites: her face was so pale I would have been worried about her on a normal day, she made eye contact perfectly, though her eyes were puffy and pink from all her crying, and she was frowning and she definitely wouldn't start giggling.

Her eyes were what were bothering me the most. I always thought I could stare into her eyes forever. They had such a depth to them; I don't think I could put them into words. But right now, they made me want to burst into tears. Bella looked tortured, mad, thoughtful and sad all at the same time. I don't think she noticed that I kissed her forehead.

I want to do the opposite to Nate though. If ever, in all of eternity, I found out he made her this miserable then I would kill him in the most painful death possible. I let go of the back of Bella's head, but to my surprise it stayed up on it's own. Bella looked at this moment, like she was about to pass out at any given second. Would this amazing beauty ever do what I expected? I guess that was one of my favorite things about her though.

But I still couldn't help but selfishly think in the back of my mind that, even though, she was clearly in pain, Bella had lied to me. I had to confirm that though. Why would she lie to me? I wouldn't be angry by any means that she had a boyfriend. It may have upset me though I'd never show it. I wonder if Bella knew that and if that's what possessed her to keep it a secret this long.

"But, you told me that you had never dated anyone before?" I asked stupidly. She didn't respond to my question. I was starting to get frustrated, of course not with Bella, I could never be directly angry with Bella. Her actions maybe but never her herself. "Bella what are you saying?" I would ask until I got answers.

Her face started to change from a blank expression to annoyed. "Bella please" I begged for answers but my voice was barely above a whisper.

"I dated Nate Carter in Phoenix." She responded after a minute. Was that all the answers I was going to get from her? At this rate I'd probably have better luck going and asking Nate. I even considered that for a moment.

I looked at Bella's face again. It was just as sad if not sadder than it was a minute ago. I doubt Bella knew she was crying, though when she spoke her voice was even and normal.

I couldn't put her through any more pain. It just wasn't working, asking her questions emotionally. I had to try a new method. I straightened my face and put up a mask that would cover up any emotion that threatened to break the surface.

I pulled Bella up into my lap as a comfort to her, so now she wouldn't have to stare at my face when she answered. I hoped this brought some comfort to her.

"Start from the beginning, Bella" I said as an order not a request.

Bella seemed to ponder that for a minute. I wished so many times that I could read her mind, but I never wish I could more than now. She thought for a long time. I tried to give her all the time I could muster but I had to break her train of thought after a while. I shook her shoulders that were resting against my chest and arm.

"Love, can you start from the beginning about your experience with Nate?" I kept my voice mechanical, but she was so perceptive that she probably saw there was something I was covering up.

"Okay, Edward. You want me to start from the beginning?" Now we were getting somewhere. Had I not asked her to start from the beginning 12 times already. I was getting annoyed again.

"Yes, honey, that's what I asked."

"I was 13 years old and going to PV- the elementary, middle and high school are all name Paradise Valley by the way, anyways I was outside during lunch because I was fighting with my friend Milly over something stupid and I had the same lunch as her and I didn't want to deal with it. I was walking outside when I saw this guy leaning against the brick wall of the gym that we all laughed at of because the wall was really old and trashy looking. And he spray-painted his name in green saying 'Nate waz here!' and I was wanting to be cool because I found him very good looking."

In the last 3 sentences she had said more about her life in Phoenix than she had ever said in the last year and a half. Now I knew she had a friend name Millie, where she went to school in Phoenix and where and when she met Nate. She sounded like any other teenage girl for a minute, when she said 'because I found him good looking' I surprised myself and had to surpress a laugh. Of course there was a pang of jealousy there under it but it wasn't anything unmanageable and I had a feeling the worst was yet to come. Bella continued

"I walked up to him. He hadn't realized I was there. I grabbed the spray can out of his hand and I spray painted 'Princess' right above Nate's name." I wondered about that. I didn't understand the reason Bella wrote it but I might understand now why he called her Princess.

"Is that why he called you Princess?" I interrupted

"I'm getting to that." Bella promised. "Anyway, I got to know Nate very well. Nate had a few of friends named Casey, Dustin, Mason, Ricky, and Dustin. And I had a few friends named Milly, Francia, Allie, Gwen, Taylor and Briee. We all became like best friends almost instantly. Which Renee like because it kept me busy so she didn't have to."

Something Bella had never revealed to me before was there in her voice. Bitterness, resentment, hostility, anger, apathy, bile. Any word that fit dislike for her mother. She must have something else in her mind of what she thought of her mother. Maybe this had to do with Phil? Bella continued,

"Well, everything was great in my life. I had Nate as my boyfriend, Ricky and Francia were my closet friends but not by far. Then…" I now knew that Bella had a lot of friends in Phoenix. Another thing she lied about to me, but I couldn't find it in my body to be angry. I was too intrigued by her story. Now I knew she had to be lying about her past being boring too. This was the opposite of boring, even Rosalie would listen eagerly. But she had abruptly stopped. I wondered why?

"Then…"I prompted. She didn't reply. I sighed, back to square one. "Did he hurt you?" I guessed. I would kill him if he did. I was starting to realize I would use any excuse to kill Nate at this point.

"Did he fight with you?" She better of one won. His life may depend on it.

"No" She was giving yes and no, one syllable answers now? Great.

"Did he leave you?" I asked if he made the same mistake I did. I couldn't kill him for that. That left me disappointed, I really want to. But it seemed very unlikely, more likely that she left him. I wonder if that's what was bothering her. Did she regret it? Did she want him back?

"No"

"Bella, you have to give me some details here. I know you told me the beginning but right now I'm coming up blank." That was an understatement. I was going mad here.

"I I I" Bella stuttered again. Had I made her frightened again? That made me madder at myself. Bella did not need me making this any harder for her. She needed a support system. And I will try to give her anything she needed for the rest of eternity if she wanted it.

"Bella listen, okay. I love you more than anything and everything in the world combined. You are my light and my life. There's not anything you could say to make me let go. You can to me with anything. Please, I just want to know why it has got you so upset." I let my mask of composure falter. I all but dropped to my knees and begged. I was so worried about my angel.

"Nate and me had sex." Bella blurted suddenly. If I felt like the world was caving in on me when she told me she dated Nate, then right now it felt like I had all the planets collide all on top of me and run me into the sun. I rather have The Volturi kill me a thousand times then have to hear those words again. I felt like a burning man. I tried to compose myself again.

"You slept with Nate?" I'm sure my voice matched my face but I wasn't paying attention. It had caught me so off guard. Why had I been so stupid that I didn't even consider it?

"Yes" Bella said evenly. I didn't need to look at her face to know she was telling me the truth. She wouldn't lie about something like this. I _think_?

When Bella said yes, I wanted to die in that moment. To leave and never come back, but then I thought of something that kept me from bolting the room and going to burn Nate at a bonfire. It was the fact that Bella was crying. Was he that terrible in bed? I was still hurt but I settled for an amused expression.

"So was it so bad, love, that you were crying about it?" I wanted to laugh but Bella wasn't smiling

"Not exactly…" She said hesitantly. I was glad that at least she was being honest with me now.

"What do you mean?" I hinted

"There's more to it." She said slowly

"More?" How can there be more to _that_?

"Yes" She had a thing for one-word syllables today.

"Carry on." I prompted

"I got pregnant." I didn't think it was possible to be more shocked than I already was. But then I got an idea of what might upset her about seeing Nate again. Everything clicked. The deceitful asshole! I tried to bite back a growl but I'm sure Bella heard it. She was after all lying across my lap. I had to remember that incase I thought I was about to lose it. That should keep me from having a lapse in control.

"Why the nerve of that idiotic excuse for a male. He got you pregnant, then he left you to take care of the baby alone and you had nobody so you got an abortion then you regretted the abortion and moved to Forks to forget about it. And now he's back and you are reminded of the sick thing this bastard lead you to do!" I ranted my assumption with fury.

"That's not what happened" Bella cut in. Obviously I had made the wrong assumption.

"What happened, Bella?" I was getting annoyed that I wasn't getting straight answers already

"I got pregnant and he reacted, well, he reacted kind of like a typical guy you think would react. After he got over the mild shock of it all he came around and we decided to keep the baby and raise it ourselves. Renee was supportive of it, and so were his parents. I never told Charlie." Bella explained.

Okay, that explained a lot. And it also satisfied most of my questions. But it left me with two new questions. If she had a baby, where was it? Had she given it away? Bella was a very generous person but I doubt Bella would give something that precious away. My other question was, that was a lot cheerier story than what I'd come up with. Why was

she crying so hard? For that question I came up blank.

"If you had a baby, Bella, then where is it?" I asked. Her face fell into a deeper sadness,

"You see, uh, I had the baby, it was a girl." Bella's voice broke and she had tears streaming down her face again. I instinctively held her tighter. She continued. "She was beautiful. She had curly golden hair like Nate's and these gorgeous eyes and she was perfect! I mean absolutely perfect!" The pride in her voice reminded me of when Esme talked about me or one of her other kids, Bella included.

"She was big for a baby but still the best in the world." Bella continued. I thought about a baby that had Bella's face combined with Nate's. As much as I currently despised Nate he was a good-looking human. Now that Bella had told me this, I despised Nate a little less. Just a little, but I felt sorry for him. He lost a child. How can anybody cope with that? Esme jumped off a cliff as an attempted suicide. I had been in my mother, in all the ways that count's, mind and she never got over it. I would have held Bella tighter but I was afraid I might crush her fragile little body that, laid in my arms at this very moment.

Bella's face fell even harder again. I kissed the top of her head but again, she didn't notice.

"Nate has 3 sisters and 2 brothers. Ryann was Nate's 19-year-old brother. He was a drug addict. Nate's father was an alcoholic but he still was okay with the idea we were going to be parents. But his brother never really cared. He could take being an uncle or leave it. Nate sisters obsessed with being aunts and his other brother, Aiden was happy to be an uncle. Then one month after we had her, she was in the car, in the car seat in the back. Nate was driving his car and I was in the passenger seat. Nate's brother was driving a different car while being high. He hit the car. He hit the side of he car our little girl was on. She was automatically killed." Bella was sobbing, she became aware of it now.

I felt terrible for making her relive this. I shouldn't have forced this out of her. But part of me was glad that she had finally been honest with me. I would have to talk to my mother and father and maybe even my sister-Rosalie- about this. I needed to know every way I could help without invading her privacy.

I hated Nate. For idiotic reasons, yes, but my revulsion for him still stands. But I knew that this is something that she would need him to help her move on from it. And I could deny her nothing of what she needs.

"Her name was Novalee" Bella chocked out. Oh. That's when her sleep talking clicked. Her daughter's name was Novalee. I felt terrible for Bella, for Nate and everyone else involved.

I had so many other questions but I would wait until Bella was taken care of and feeling better to ask them. For now the best thing I could think of doing was comforting her. I laid back on the bed and with Bella laying on my chest, sobbing into my neck.

"I'm sorry, Angel. I'm so sorry." I whispered pained. I wish I could be stronger for her. This is the first time in all my years that I felt the weakest, and right now is when I need to be strong. Strong for Bella, my world and my life. Bella tried to mumble out something but she couldn't so she just continued to sob into my neck as I rubbed her back.

"I love you" was all she could mange to say

"I love you so much more," I promised.

**AN: Aww. That was sweet. Well you guys doubled what my standards were in the last chapter so I want to thank you again. Remember I raised the standards for review for me to update, not because I got so many. I already planned to. Thanks again. I need 15 reviews for the next chapter.**


	7. Chapter 6: The Notebook And a Sleepover

**AN: I'm working very hard on this story. I finished this chapter a few days ago. I actually wrote it before I wrote my last chapter. I hope you enjoy it. And again I will not update until I get 10 reviews for this chapter alone.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer and other people.**

I cried for a long time. I'm starting to think if I cried anymore that my eyes were going to be permanently puffy and red. Edward never showed any sings that he minded. He just laid on the bed with me on top of him.

He wasn't even angry with me for, lying to him, crying so much, sleeping with another guy. Technically the last one didn't count for I didn't even know Edward and I have a right to my own personal life. But still I should have told him. And he shouldn't be so understanding about it now he knows I've been lying.

"Edward" I started.

"Yes, honey?"

"I am so sorry, for everything" I apologized

"Shh" Edward shushed me. "Don't apologize for anything, love. You were hurting and you didn't think you'd ever have to think about it again." Edward brushed my hair back behind my shoulders. "I can't say I would have done anything different if I had been in your position."

"Why aren't you mad?"

"Why should I be?"

"I lied to you!"

"For understandable reasons."

"I cry a lot!"

"You lost a child, Bella. Esme jumped off a cliff when that happened to her. Moving to a new town and keeping it a secret is a whole lot better." Edward comforted me but I just merely nodded.

"I slept with someone else!" I used the biggest and best argument I could mange. He couldn't say that he was okay with that when nobody in their right mind should be.

"Before we met. Before you knew vampires and werewolves were real. You have right to live your own life, especially before we met."

"You are being way too understanding about this." I pointed out

"Of course I am going to dislike Nate, deep down inside, for sleeping with you. Something not even I have done. And to be perfectly honest, it took all my restraint not to go rip him to pieces right when you said the words that you made love to him." He admitted sheepishly

"That's okay." I laughed

"Why are you laughing?" Edward chuckled

"I was just think if the situation was reversed, well, I don't think I would be able to maintain my control." I confessed

"Well, you know, I could slip." Edward offered

"Wouldn't you rather get even, than kill him?"

"Get even?"

"What better way than to do what you're jealous that he did, ten time better. Or ten time more" I raised one of my eyebrows at that.

Edward sighed theatrically. "I wish"

"Your wish is my command." I said, then I pressed my lips to his. He gave in but he was perfectly in control, not as free as today at school, in the hallway. He pulled away to give me air but then laughed at my pout.

"I want to kiss you again." I whined, lightly, with a smile on my face.

He pressed his lips to mine again less controlled. His hands raked across my body. I flipped so I was straddling him on the bed. At that point Edward broke off the kiss.

I was silent for a long moment as I laid down on his chest again. "Can I ask you for something?"

"You can have whatever you want." Edward promised

I rolled my eyes but he couldn't see. If there was anything he couldn't resist, it was an opportunity to give me something. It was silent for another moment. Edward's hand continued to comb through my hair, while my face was still buried in his neck. "I guess it's more of a request." I explained.

How could I ask him to do anything for me now, after he took the news so well? He was so understanding and here I am, asking him to do more for me.

"You can ask for me to do anything, love." Edward prompted

"Can you not tell your family about everything I just told you. I don't really want everyone to know." I asked. He knew I referring to my experience in Phoenix, that I just told him about.

"Sure, love. But you know my family will never judge you."

"I know, but, I can't take it all at once, with everyone knowing. Those pity stares and those looks like they think they need to apologize. I can't take it!" I ranted. God, it felt so good to tell this to someone. But it felt especially good to talk to Edward.

"Okay, Bella. It's up to you. You're calling the shots on this one."

"Thank you."

"Anything you need, you can come to me. I love you more than you'll ever know."

"Me too." I sighed in happiness

Edward laughed. "What do you want to do now, love?"

"Just lay here."

"Okay" Edward whispered. He pulled us back to lay down on the bed.

Edward was so much better to me than I deserved. The way he treated me, well it was hard to believe he was really real. Or it would be if I weren't lying on top of him. We laid there for a few more minutes.

"Did you fall asleep?" Edward's question broke the silence.

"Nope." I said. "Do you want to watch a movie?" I asked

"Sure,"

"What do you want to watch?" As we sat up.

"Anything you do." Edward offered

"BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!" I teased. I knew Edward's dislike for Buffy, thinking that it was ridiculous with its clichés of how to kill a vampire.

"Anything besides that" Edward groaned, as we walked down the stairs.

"Fine, The Notebook, it is." I said. Edward rolled his eyes.

"I thought you like classics, not the Hollywood's 2004 chick flicks." Edward teased. Did he just say chick flicks? I had only heard the phrase from Emmett. Hearing it out of Edward's mouth caught me off guard. I giggled.

"Wait!" I said suddenly.

"What?"

"Are my eyes all puffy?"

"No, not anymore." My worried expression didn't falter. He took my face into his hands and kissed my eyelids. "You're perfect."

We continued down the stairs. I glanced at the clock, it read 5:47. Where had the day go? I guess I slept through most of it. I left school early. I wonder what I missed? That reminded me. "Edward" I said as he made his way to the couch while I was putting the DVD. "What did I miss after I ran out of school today?"

"The bio test"

"Damn!"

"Don't worry. I told Mr. Banner you were sick and asked him if you could make it up Monday. He said yes and he hopes you'd be feeling better."

"Thanks." I said as I put in the Notebook. The commercials started playing across the screen. I walked over to the couch and plopped down on Edward's lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist. As the main menu came up I took the DVD remote and pressed enter on the play button on the screen. Edward put his mouth right at my neck and inhaled a big gush.

"Ah, you smell so good right now." Edward said

"As opposed to?" I teased

"You always smell wonderful, love. I just mean, you smell good right now because I haven't hunted for a while." Edward explained

"Oh." I got his hint. "I could move to the other side of the couch." I offered unwillingly.

"Nonsense." Edward disagreed. "I'm in perfect control of my nature right now. I was just trying to tell you I need to go hunting this weekend." He replied

"Edward, it's Friday." I reminded him

"I know. I'm leaving tonight and I'll be back Monday at 7:00 sharp."

"7:00? At night?" I asked

"No silly. The daytime." He laughed

"Well, I guess that's a little better" I pouted

"Angel" Edward groaned. "I'm staying late hunting, so I can not go for another 3 weeks unless I have to. You know how much it kills me to be away from you."

"I know." I was still pouting

He laughed at my expression. "I'm going to miss you, Bella." Edward said as he kissed the tip of my nose, trailing kisses up to my forehead, then down to my left cheek and then acrossed my chin and up my right cheek, all the way over to my ear. "I love you," he said

"I love you too." I whispered. I pressed my lips to his. He pulled away after 7 seconds. He tucked my head under his chin but I could tell he was rolling his eyes and smiling at my eagerness.

"Hey by the way, Alice wanted to know, do you want to spend the night at my house with Alice and Esme? Me and the boys are leaving tonight."

"Is Rosalie going to be there?"

"…Yes, but she'll be good." Edward said after a minute.

"Fine, but don't send Alice to come pack my stuff up." I warned

"Well, I can't promise anything but I'll tell her not to." He chuckled

"What time to do you leave?" I asked unwilling to talk about him leaving me.

"8:00"

"So soon" I pouted again. Edward just rubbed my arm soothingly.

After that Edward and I watched the movie quietly. He laughed how I cried at the end. He found it amusing to him how I got so in to the movies. I felt the urge to nudge him but I'd only end up giving myself a bruise. Edward also asked me questions during the movie.

"You never told me why Nate called you Princess?" Edward had asked suddenly during the first 15 minutes

"Because my friends and me made up the nicknames when we were five, and I guess they kind of stuck." I replied

"Oh" He left it at.

_2 minutes later_

"Was Nate there throughout the whole pregnancy?"

"Yep." I said shortly

"Were all your friends?" Edward asked

"The really good ones. Some were until I started showing and some were forced to change classes by of their parents, so they wouldn't be in classes with the pregnant girl." I explained

"I'm so very sorry" Edward apologized

"Don't be. They didn't matter," I soothed him.

_5 minutes later_

"Why didn't you tell Charlie?'

"Because I didn't see him enough, so I didn't know how." That was a partial truth, but I didn't really want to explain to Edward why I didn't really tell him. It was too hard for people who had known me my whole life to understand let alone someone who has only known me for 1 and a half years. Not that edward is just anyone but still, the point remains.

Of course there were some questions I chose not to answer though.

Edward asked at one point. "Why did you sound angry when you spoke of Renee?" I remained silent.

_15 minutes later_

"Who is Starr?" how did he know that?

"Taylor's nickname" I responded blankly

"Who's Taylor?" Edward asked again. I didn't respond.

He moved me off his lap and to the sofa cushion next to him at 7:20. One minute later Charlie walked in.

Charlie took a look at the end credits that were now playing across the screen. "Huh, The Notebook. Tough break Edward." Charlie teased. He didn't like romances.

I felt Edward chuckle next to me. This time I did nudge him. I resisted the urge to say ow. I'd have to remember not to nudge him so hard next time.

"So Bella," Charlie made a point purposely in excluding Edward. "I see you haven't started dinner yet-"

"I'll get right on it, dad" I interrupted, standing up.

"No, well actually, I'm glad. You see Mark and Jeff and some other police officers offered to take me out to dinner. So I figured that I'd go." Charlie explained. "And Alice called me while I was at work. She asked if you could spend the night because the boys were going to be gone and I figured you would like that, right?"

"Yeah dad. I'll go over there later."

"Okay kid. I'll see you later" Charlie said as I walked over to him. He kissed my cheek

"I love you," I said

"Love you too."

After Charlie left I turned to Edward. "How much longer before you have to go?" I asked

"I should be at my house in 20 minutes. Do you want me to give you ride?" He asked

"No I think I'll come over later. Ask Alice when I'm coming over." As soon as I said the words my phone rang. My call ID said Alice.

"Hello?" I said into the phone

"I don't know when you're coming over because you haven't made your mind up yet." Alice said

"Okay, I'll be over at 9:30 okay?"

"Why so late?" Alice whined

"Because I want to take my time."

"Fine but then I get to give you a manicure."

Edward laughed out loud. I threw a couch pillow at him, which he swiftly dodged.

I groaned. "Alice, I hate playing Bella Barbie."

"Oh my god!" Alice said at a really fast human speed, probably so I could understand her. "That's a great name for the game, Bella. I love it! Bella Barbie. You're a genius!" She was obviously excited.

"Does a genius get out of playing?" I asked hopefully

"Nope, see you at nine-thirty." She hung up.

I went back over to the couch. Edward and me talked for a while about nothing in particular. When 7:40 came around, he had to leave.

"I love you," he cooed

"I love you more" He pecked my lip but I didn't let him go so easy.

I pulled him closer and he got into it. I didn't really expect this reaction. Most of the time he's so guarded. I led him to the kitchen and he picked me up and put me on the counter so he didn't have to bend. We made out for a couple more minutes. Occasionally he'd pull away and start kissing my neck so I could breathe. Finally he pulled away and pecked my lip one more time.

"I really have to leave now." His breathing was unnecessarily uneven. He rested his forehead against mine for a second. He pecked his lips to mine one last time and then he kissed my forehead and with that he left.

I sat on the counter for a while catching my breath. What a hectic day it had been. I had seen my ex, relived some of my past, told my boyfriend the truth, managed to watch an hour and an half movie and now was going to vampires' house. But that was my life. The life I loved.

Just then I heard a knock on the door. Then another knock. The 3 more back to back. Then someone rang the doorbell 3 times continuously. I was getting annoyed. I purposely I walked down the hall slowly and went to the front door. I opened it and there on my porch stood… of all people I could have seen, it was the one I rather not of. Nate.

**AN: Cliffy much. I like to leave people hanging incase you haven't noticed. LOL. Don't hate me for it. If you're confused about the whole Taylor thing, I'll explain in later chapters. And The Notebook thing kind of had a reason behind it. I partially base Bella and Nate's relationship off of Allie and Noah. Like they always fight and everything. Also if you've seen The Sercret Life of the American Teenager, I based a couple things off of Ricky and Adrian too. But I didn't copy, I made it my own, I just got the ideas from them. Anyway, I think I'll update in a few days but not tomorrow. I need time to write a decent chapter. I need 10 reviews for this chapter for me to update though so review, review, review. I know I'm getting really greedy. LOL.**


	8. Chapter 7: One On One

**AN:HEY! So I lied. I am updating today, which I said I couldn't in the last chapter. But obviously I can. I also got an anoyomous review last chapter from Laura but I'm not really sure what she meant. But I want to thank again, all those people who are reviewing my story. I cannot thank you enough. I want 12 reviews for this chapter. I'll have pictures on my profile btw, of everyone I can think mentioning in this chapter. **

**Disclamier: I own nothing twilight related.**

"Hi" Nate said

I sighed. It was inevitable. I should have figured though, he always rung the doorbell like that. He was very impatient by the way incase I haven't made that clear. I knew that I'd have to see Nate eventually.

I guess I was hoping to wait till Monday though. So I could talk to him with witnesses around; he wouldn't say anything too personal with anybody around. If there were a contest for most secretive person ever Nate would win by a landslide. That was probably why he picked to come here, now with nobody around.

His timing probably had more to do with luck, though, than timing it so he came as Edward left. Nate was pretty good at that stuff.

"Come on in Nate" I said, not even bothering to ask how he found the address. It wasn't uncommon in a town as small as this, even if he was new. Or he could have asked a girl at school. They probably would have told him their parents pin codes to their debit cards.

Nate stepped in my house. He looked around like he was expecting to see someone else here too.

"What?" I asked kind of annoyed

"Don't you live with your father?" Nate asked

"Yes," I answered confused

"Well, where is he, Princess?" Nate asked. I flinched a little when he called me by my old nickname.

"Out" I answered

"Where?"

"I don't have to tell you." I snapped. "I don't have to tell you anything."

"Or do you just not want because you know that your father is neglective." Nate said as if I should have already known that.

"He is not!" I argued though part of me knew it was true.

"Yes he is!" Nate doesn't like to lose arguements

"How would you know?" I challenged

"You used to only talk to him 7 time in a very good year, aside from the only 2 weeks out of the year you spent with him. And I bet he wasn't around most of that time." Nate pointed out. When I didn't answer he just nodded, "I figured as much"

"How do know this?" I asked quietly

Nate laughed. "Princess, you told me. You yourself."

"No I didn't," I argued

"Yes, you did." He raised an eyebrow daring me to object when he knew I wouldn't.

"What do you want, Naty!" His nickname slipped through my lips before I had a chance to think. Nate on the other hand didn't seem to think anything of it.

"I want to talk. One-on-one. Just us." He said more calmly

I motioned towards the living room. "Come on" I said after I sighed. I would have to be civil to him. In truth I kind of missed him, in the past year and a half, not when I was with Edward but when Edward was gone on a hunting trip or those seven dreadful months I spent alone I missed Nate especially.

We walk into the living and sat down. "What do you want to talk about?"

"What have you been up to lately?" Nate started making conversation

"Lately?" I raised my eyebrow.

"The past year and a half, to be more specific." He rolled his eyes

"Um, well, let's see. I have got a boyfriend that I love more than anything." Nate eyes almost widened. "Last September we broke up because his family moved to, uh L.A and he didn't want a long term relationship." I struggled to remember the cover story for why the Cullens took off and left so suddenly. "And now he's back and we're back together. Oh and I have 2 best friends. One named Jacob Black. He lives in La Push. I don't see him that much anymore. The other one is named Alice. She's my boyfriend Edward's sister." I finished. Nate was looking kind of sad. "What is it?" i asked after a moment.

"I was just thinking about how much your life has changed since we last saw each other." Nate said sadly

"I've changed Nate. I had to, to be able to cope with… what happened." I searched through my brain to put it into words of what I meant. "It forces you to grow up quicker than you should have to." Nate nodded understanding

"I know. I've had to change too, Bella" I was a little shocked that Nate just called me Bella. Sure, everyone else does now but Nate? Naty? I was always Princess to him. It was different to my other name out of his mouth.

"So," Nate said clearly trying to move on to a lighter topic. "Tell me more about your boyfriend" Nate said

"Okay" I hesitated. Should I tell my ex boyfriend about my new lover? This may get a bit awkward. "His name is Edward Cullen. He's gorgeous with bronze hair, and pale skin and honey colored eyes." Nate pressed his lips together. Not like Edward did when he was angry but like he was trying to surpress a laugh. "What?"

"Golden eyes and gorgeous! You make him sound gay, Princess!" Nate let his laugh go free

I narrowed my eyes at him, jokily. "I wasn't referring to you, Naty!" I teased. He hit me on the shoulder playfully.

"Shut up! Princess!" Nate said my name as if it were funny. I guess it was. It made me sound like a five year old. I didn't really think of it that way though.

I laughed. "Your boyfriend sounds nice though, I guess." Nate amended

"You guess?" I picked that out if his sentence

"What! That's the best you're getting from me."Nate said light-heartedly "I saw him at lunch this afternoon." Nate admitted

"And?" I prompted

"He sure is pretty. And so is his sister." Nate rolled his eyes. He wasn't stupid. He probably could guess that Alice was his sister from the eyes and skin tone.

"Yeah and they're really nice too." I stated. I was trying to get Nate to like Edward, maybe if even a little bit.

"Sure they are" Nate mumbled. I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear that.

"Really" I insisted

"Is it just the two of them? Do their parents look like them? Even at an old age?" Nate asked a couple questions. Genuinely curious. And probably trying to get along with me and not do what him and I do best. Start a fight.

"No. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen are very young. Early thirties at the oldest, but Mrs. Cullen can't have kids so they fostered her niece and nephew" I think that was what Rosalie and Jasper pretended to be. "Their names are Rosalie and Jasper. They're a year older than us, they graduated last year. And now they are attending to collage. Edward and Alice are a year younger and are in our grade, but they have an older brother named Emmett, who graduated with Rosalie and Jasper last year too. All of their parents died when they were really young and they mostly remember Esme and Carlisle- Dr and Mrs. Cullen." I finished

"I feel bad for them, losing their parents and everything. Really I do, but at least they had each other right?" Nate looked thoughtful

"Since when are you Mr. Bright side?" I joked but Nate's face was serious.

"I'm just thinking, well I couldn't have gotten through it," Nate paused. He was trying to word his sentence right, without upsetting me. "You know, losing Novalee. I couldn't have done it without you." Nate said

"Neither could I." I whispered back. He nodded.

"So are any of the Cullen siblings in a relationship, besides Eddie of course." Nate winked at me. I laughed

"Call Edward that to his face. I'd love to see what he'd do to you." I laughed again, Nate joined in. "But to answer your question, yes. Rosalie and Emmett are in a relationship. And Alice and Jasper are too."

"Siblings dating? Are they _that_ kind of a family?" Nate laughed at the end

"The ones who are dating, are _not_ siblings, stupid." I said lightly, rolling my eyes. I ignored his second comment all together.

"What about your other best friend? What's he like?"

"Huge." I said the first thing that came to my mind.**(AN: Sorry if you think that's perverted or if you didn't get that. Just think about it for a second. It's kind of meant in a sexual way as a joke. Lol. I couldn't resist!) **Nate laughed taking it the wrong way. "You are so perverted." I laughed. "He's tall. He had black hair that he now cuts short. He's a Quilute Indian. His mother, Sara, died a few years back and his father is in a wheelchair. He has two sisters, Rachel and Rebecca, twins that are a year and a little bit more older than us. Rebecca is married and living in Hawaii with her husband. Rachel has a scholarship to U-Dub." I picked up on the nickname for the Washington collage. **(U-dub is Washington State Collage. I live in Washington State btw**.**)**"Jacob is sixteen but he's mature for his age, having to take care of his father physically and he's a very talented mechanic. He's also very athletic." I tried to keep as close to the truth as I possibility could. Nate looked thoughtful again.

"What?" I asked

"It just seems like everyone in Forks has a sob story. The Cullens' parents dying and now the're in foster care. Jacob's mom dying and dad in a wheelchair. Pretty sad, Princess" Nate explained.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I didn't need to tell him we were part of that group of people with sob stories. His alcoholic dad and prisoned brother and my neglective parents and both of us losing our baby. Pretty sad.

"Does Jacob have a girlfriend?" Nate wondered

"Nope." I replied instantly, then thought about Nate's question. "Was my comment before, about you being gay, right?" I asked wryly

"Yes, Bella, totally." Nate said sarcastic. "Naw, I was just wonder because it seems like everyone in this town is paired up. Not that I'm looking, I'm just curious." Nate said

"Oh. Well, Jessica is single." I said half-heartedly

"Uh! Don't remind me, Princess!" Nate whined.

"Why?" I wondered

"I didn't exactly appreciate all he attention from those girls today. I mean some were hot! But others were just getting on my nerves." Nate complained

"Like Lauren for instants?" I asked hopefully

"Uh, yeah!" He said like he should be obvious. "I only said I'd sit with her today because she asked me 4 times!" I laughed out loud

"Jessica wasn't much better, Princess. And those lovely stares I got after you ran out." Nate glared playfully at me.

"What are you talking about, Nate?" I played stupid.

"Every guy in the room glared and every girl gave goo-goo eyes. I wanted to shoot somebody." He laughed

"Good to know, you're the same happy up-beat person you were a P.V" I commented.

"Oh yeah." Nate laughed

"What?" I questioned

"Remember how we met?" He looked thoughtful

"Yeah, we vandalized the side of the school. Still can't believe we got off with a warning. I think our principal had a thing for Renee though" I commented

"My mom flipped out and my dad, well, my dad got more drunk, to tune my mom out, so she got more stressed out and took it out on me and my siblings." He explained

"I'm sorry." I apologized

"Wasn't your fault, so how did your parents feel?" Nate still looked thoughtful.

"My mom was angry for one day then stopped caring and my dad-

"Never found out." Nate finished. "Yeah, I figured. Seems like the story of your dad's and your relationship."

"Don't act like that." I warned sternly

"Why not, Bella?" There he goes calling me Bella again. He paused "You know what, I don't want to argue with you today, so let's just drop it." Nate suggested smiling. Probably proud of himself that he was able to walk away from a fight. What a first for him. He smiled again.

"What?" I asked again feeling uncomfortable; like he was laughing at joke about me that I didn't know.

"Remember when we met?" He looked closer to laughing and less thoughtful this time he asked.

"You just asked that, Nate." I said blankly

"Your hair." Nate smiled. I hit his arm. I knew then what he was laughing about. I had the tips of my hair dyed pink, at that point. I dyed it all different colors every few months. And that specific day I met Nate, I had my hair in some crazy, weird up-do. I almost died just thinking about it.

"Shut it" I warn while laughing

"It was cute." Nate said still smiling

"Sure it was." I replied.

"What does your boyfriend think of that?" Nate asked smug

"He doesn't know. I'm sorry but I don't bore people with a play by play of my life." I answer sharply

"Does he know about, you know, Novalee?" Nate asked quiet

"Yes." Nate looked up surprised.

"Really?" He asked, his eyebrows pulling together.

"Yeah."

"I guess I expected you not telling anyone about it. Does your dad know?" Nate asked curious

"No. I couldn't tell him" I said as if it should be obvious. To _him_ it should be.

"Because he wasn't a very big part of your life?" Nate guessed what I had told Edward earlier.

"No." I paused. "Because, even though I never spent much time with him, well, I was always his little girl. Part of me wanted to hang on to that. Part of me wanted _him_ to hang on to that." I explained. Nate nodded

"Yeah, I guess. My sister, Summer, is kind of the same way." Nate said. I remembered all of Nate's siblings. Especially Ryann. But at that moment Summer's face flashed through my mind. She had blonde hair, tan skin, she wore a lot of makeup and was very pretty, but it was hard to tell with her wearing so much makeup. Guys loved her to say the least, but I also was very close to her back in Phoenix. She was like a cute bubbly big sister to me. She was another person I missed without realizing it. Summer wanted to be an aunt so very badly too like Claire and Julianna, Nate's other two sisters. I calculated in my head how old Summer should be. I came up with 23.

"You know, Summer misses you a lot." Nate added

"I missed her too." I whispered

"Yeah, I thought you might." He said smugly

"So how has your family been?" I asked conversationally

"Same old, same old. My old man is still a drinker, mom still is a worrier, Julianna is a dancer and Claire is a majorette. Summer still goes from guy to guy but she has enough time to hang around the house and bartend/waitress and bug me and Aidenn." Aidenn is Nate's other brother. He should be 16 now. Claire should be 14 going on 15 and Julianna should be 19 in a half. "And Aidenn is still a pain in my ass." Nate smiled at the end.

"Sounds like fun. I always wished I had siblings."

"You're lucky you don't." I just nodded. It didn't slip my mind that Nate had left out Ryann in his equation of his family. "

"How is Ryann" I could help but spit the name out of my lips. It probably resembled the same look of what Edward got when he said the name of someone he hated.

"He's in prison. He'll still be there for another 3 and a half years." Nate said with the same expression as mine on his face. Ryann got a five-year sentence for reckless endangerment. And murder of a baby. Elle never liked us after that.

Elle was a very pretty, slutty bitch that was Ryann's girlfriend and Ryann's drug supplier, Asher's sister. She had long bleach blonde hair and she could fake one hell of a very innocent look. She tried to get Ryann out of jail, and when she couldn't, she blamed Nate and me. Elle hates children so she could give a damn less that Nate and I lost our daughter. She especially hates me. Don't worry, the feeling is mutual.

"How have you been?" Nate asked me

"Good" I replied, but I was lying through my teeth.

"Have you been crying?" Nate asked not knowing how much on the mark he was.

"No. What makes you say that?" I lied again

"You look like hell." Nate said honestly. Nate told me whatever he was thinking.

"Thanks." Now I knew Edward was lying to me when he said I was perfect.

It was silent for a few minutes.

"How do you do it?" Nate asked breaking the quiet.

"Do what?" My eyeborws pulled together, not knowing where this conversation was going.

"Go on with your life like it never mattered? Like we never mattered. Like she never mattered." Nate looked at. He wasn't yelling, just asking.

"I mattered Nate, all of it." I said softy

"Really, today when I saw you with your boyfriend it didn't look like you even gave me or Novalee a second thought!" Nate's voice growing in volume.

"I did, Nate, I did. But I grieved for our baby girl for months. The worst months of my life. But our daughter wouldn't want us to be miserable forever." I said still softly. Sometimes the best thing to do with Nate is talk calmly to him.

"Bella-

"Nate, don't you understand, I made peace with what happened, now I have at least. The more I tried to move on with my life the better it got. I think you should try too." I said softly. "There's not a day that I don't think of you or Novalee." I whispered the ending

Nate paused for a moment. "I guess you're right." Nate whispered, resigned. He rarely ever whispered or admitted anyone was right but him. This was very strange for him. It was going to take some getting used to. "I guess, I just wished it was real." I doubt I was supposed to hear the ending, but I did.

"What was real, Nate?" I asked with more volume now.

"Nothing." He mumbled. I glared at him until he answered. "Us. I sometimes wish what we had between us had been real. Like it seems to be between you and your boyfriend"

"You saw us today?" I was wondering how he knew Edward and me were serious. I mean of course I knew we were serious but I had no idea how Nate knew. Was he following us- or more specifically me, around all day? He couldn't have gotten this all from the two seconds we made eye contact at lunch.

"I asked Angela. She said you two were very much in love." Nate said sadly. I looked away from Nate's face. I turned my face towards the blank wall behind Nate's head. It was easier to talk when I didn't have to look Nate in the eye.

I felt bad. Not for myself, I was perfectly content right now with my life. Of course there are things I will always be upset about. Like losing my baby was such a young age is unforgettable. And unforgivable on Ryann's part. Or losing one of my best friends at nearly the same time.

But I wasn't mourning them right now, my life had gone on. Not without them though. I knew they'd always be with me, in my heart, at least. But I felt bad for Nate. He didn't have anybody to lean on like I had Edward.

Sure, he had his family but his father was an alcoholic, his mother was paranoid, his sisters were sweet but always busy and his brother was too young to understand. And his other brother was in prison and the reason he was miserable. I thought then about what he said a minute ago. 'I guess I just wish it was real.' I had to correct him on that.

"I was real, Naty." I whispered again. Not really sure how to say this aloud, I guess. "You and me. It was real." I said truthfully. Then I became thoughtful. "It feels like a million years ago, I used to let you sneak in my window when Renee was gone, and we used to go to parties and sneak into movie theaters and trash hotel rooms that weren't even ours and we would go to school dances and do normal things and stuff." I paused again. Remembering what my life was like. But it didn't feel like my life. I had been living the lie I told everyone in Forks that I was starting to believe it myself. "It feels like a million years ago," I repeated. "But we really did love each other, didn't we?"

"Yes, we did" Nate gave me a sad smile. I returned it. "Do you miss it? Doing all that stuff, like going to parties and things?"

"Sometimes." I said

Nate hesitated. "Do you ever think...you know...maybe we could do that stuff again?" Nate asked. "Not the me sneaking in you window thing. That's kind of reserved for that Edward guy now. But I mean like going to movies and parties and things like that?"

"We can't Nate." I said softly, still looking at the wall behind Nate. "When we did that stuff in Phoenix" I paused. I swallowed the lump in my throat that I hadn't realized had appeared. "When we did that in Phoenix, Nate, we were just a couple of kids. Normal kids that just wanted a good time." I looked at his expression. It was thoughtful again. He understood what I was saying. "We are not those kids anymore, Nate. We grew up, Nate. We grew up quicker than we should have, but we did, none the less." I was still talking softly. I wondered for a brief moment if I would be able to talk at a normal volume ever again.

Nate's phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and picked it up. "Hello" I heard a bunch fast mumbling in the background of the other line so I figured it was his mother.

"I'm at Bella's, mom." Nate answered. "Yes, I know she's a lovely girl" Nate winked at me. I laughed, his mom always liked me. "I'll be right home." Nate hung up.

"You gotta go," I assumed

"Yeah, mom's freaking out, dad went out, Summer is working a double shift and Claire is going to be a majorette at the football game tonight and needs me to take her. The usual."

I laughed again. "Yep, usual for you."

Nate pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "Here incase you didn't already know, here is my address and phone number." He handed me the paper.

"Thanks" I said putting it in my pocket.

"Come over or call anytime you want to talk" Nate said as he stood up. I stood up too.

"I will," I promised. Nate smiled then turned to go out the door. "Nate" I stopped him

"Yeah?" He pivoted

"I'm glad you came by." I said then smiled

"Me too" He said quietly and smiled. Nate looked around for a second then stepped forward. He put his arms around me and I, naturally, did the same. He pulled back. "See you at school, Princess"

"Bye Naty."

"Bye"

As soon as he was gone, I sat back down. I didn't love Nate; I just had history with him. That was all he meant to me. My past. Right?

I thought about that for a while, but then my eyes scanned across a clock absent-mindedly. It was 8:52. I had to be at the Cullen's in a little more than a half an hour. I ran up stairs to my room. I started to throw an outfit for tomorrow in a bag with a toothbrush and vanilla deodorant. I doubt I needed a pillow or anything like that. Knowing Alice she had already bought everything I needed and more.

All of a sudden my window came flying open. Edward appeared in front of me. His face was vicious. He looked fearsome. He looked like a real vampire. Then his eyes ran over to me and his face broke into relief. Edward sighed and fast than I could see he ran over to me. He caught me in his embrace, as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted me off the floor and spun me around.

"Oh,Bella! I was so worried, love." Edward's velvet voice tickled my ear. He set me down on the ground.

"I missed you too." I said but his words caught me off guard. He kissed my forehead, then the tip of my nose then both my cheeks. "What were you so worried about? You weren't ever gone that long!" I asked

"Alice got impatient and looked for your future but your future was really blurry." Edward said but the relief was now gone from his face. Irritated came to the surface. "What were you doing, Bella?" Edward's voice was stern

Would he be mad about Nate? Would he care? He had no reason to. Why couldn't Alice see me with Nate? Edward can't read my mind but Alice can see my future. Can she see Nate's?

"Nate came over and I guess we got to talking. He stayed longer than I thought he would. Not that I minded. It was nice." I finished lamely. Edward's face changed from anger to something else. Jealousy? Before I could be sure he composed it. Then something else played across his face. Realization. "Can Alice see Nate?" I asked

"Bella, I think that's it. Alice can't see Nate's future. Or she does but it's really blurry." Edward said comprehension was evident in his voice.

"I was never in danger though." I pointed out.

Edward sighed, "Can you do me a favor and just stay places where Alice can see your future? At least for the next few days. Until I'm back."

"Fine." I said

"Good" Edward smiled and kissed the top of my head. "Are you still going to my house?"

"Yeah, if I'm still invited"

"Of course. You're always invited." Edward replied. "Do you want a ride?"

"Yeah. I'm all ready" I accepted his offer.

"Okay. Come on" He grabbed my bag on the bed and led me to my window.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "I have a front door," I mentioned

"You don't think I meant I brought my car?" He said slyly.

"Uh yeah"

Edward laughed. "Come on" He said as he scooped me up and jumped out my window.

"You know, my truck is perfectly useful in situations like this." I hinted

"So are my legs" He teased. Edward readjusted me on his back.

"Hang on, love," He said as he took off running. He ran for a few minutes until we were in the front on his house. He unwrapped my legs from his waist, but kept my arms around his neck. He wound his arms around my waist.

"We're here," He said.

"But you're not staying" I guessed

"I have to hunt. Because of this disruption I have to stay longer. I'll be back Monday night, I promise."

"NO!" I couldn't help but yell. "But…"I could find a legitimate excuse to why I wanted him to starve for my own satisfaction. I ended up just pouting. Edward laughed.

"I have to go. Alice is waiting for you, she's coming outside now." Edward said

"Bye." I said sadly

"I love you," he said as he unwound his arms from my waist. My arms around his neck kept their hold. Which of course he could easily break.

"I love you too." I stepped closer not letting there be any space between us. He chuckled.

Edward rewound one of his arms around my waist and the other on my upper back. He tipped me backwards, so now he was holding me up completely but my head fell backwards. He moved his one hand from my upper back to the back of my head, supporting it. He leaned down and pressed his glass smooth lips to the base of my now exposed neck. He moved them up to my chin and continued to move his lips up to my cheek and made the circuit back down to my throat. He pulled away and guided me back up to stand on the flat ground. He let go of me when he thought I could hold myself up on my own. He pressed his lips to my forehead and let them linger there for a full minute. He seemed just as unwilling to leave, as I was to let him go.

"I love you, my angel," he crooned one more time then he turned around and left. Two seconds later I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around and saw Alice.

"As cute as you two are, you're late." She said sternly. Alice pointed to her watch. It read 9:32.

**AN:Haha, Alice is hilarious. I want 12 reviews of this chapter alone. Thank you to everyone who has ever review my story before, please keep doing it. If you have never reviewed my story before please start. I'll update as soon as I can.**


	9. Chapter 8: Girls Find Out

**AN: okay I am so sorry that I haven't updated. I meant to but I got so distracted lately. I'm going to try harder but I don't know if this weekend I'm going to be able to update because my parents are remodeling my room and they have to move my computer out of it to paint. But I'll tell you what, if I get 14 reviews for this chapter than I will make a special effort to update quicker.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. *Sighs* I wish!**

"It's only two minutes Alice" I rolled my eyes.

"Two minutes of fun that was wasted." She whined

"Then I'll stay an extra two minutes tomorrow." That was the worst mistake of my life

"How about an extra two hours!" Alice asked eagerly. I couldn't disappoint her.

"Fine" I caved bitterly. Alice squealed

Alice and me walked into the Cullen Mansion. Esme was working on my dinner in the kitchen already, and Rosalie was in her and Emmett's room, not paying attention to me. I plopped down on the couch, deciding to watch TV. Alice had no problem with it. But she did insist she did my nails. She painted them hot pink. I wanted to object but I realized it was useless with Alice. She didn't get a spot on my skin and then she insisted on putting a sparkle coat over the top. I only agreed to my toes, because I could cover those up.

Esme brought my food out just then. Spaghetti. It was surprisingly good, I ate 2 helpings. Edward must not be the only one watching the food channel. Then Alice and me watched _MTV_. _Paris Hilton's My New BFF_ was hilarious. Then we switched back and forth between _The Secret Life of the American Teenager_ and _Gossip Girl_ **(AN: Look at the photos on my profile and you'll get my joke. Haha!)**. I am watching so much TV lately that I think I might be becoming a couch potato.

"How late do you want to stay up?" Alice asked, excited

"Not too late, Alice. I already was missing a lot of sleep last night and today wore me out." I explained, leaving out the fact that I spent the majority of the day sleeping. I wonder briefly if Alice knew what I had told Edward. I decided against asking her. She didn't act like she knew. Alice pouted.

"Fine" She caved. I laughed and she joined in. We continued to watch TV.

"What time is it?" I asked after _Gossip Girl_ was over

"9:44." She answered automatically. "You're not tired already, are you?" She asked bewildered

"No, but I want to go to Edward's room" I said

"Okay. I already have you pajamas on his bed and a tooth brush for you" Alice told me. I nodded and walked up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom.

On the way I looked at Rosalie and Emmett's door. It was shut tight. I didn't dare to open the door to see if Rosalie was even home. If she was she was purposely avoiding me. Rosalie had warmed up to me slightly since I had saved Edward in Italy but not enough to wash away all her resentment for me.

I opened the door to Edward's room and grabbed the pajamas. I stripped off my shirt and bra and pulled the red Abercrombie t-shirt, slightly wincing when I thought about how much Alice probably spent on it. Then I pulled off my pants and slid the red and black plaid shorts. I internally winced now when I realized how short they were.

I looked over at the bed in the middle of the room. Was I that unobservant that I hadn't noticed that before? I thought about it, but it was almost impossible to miss it. I sighed. Edward liked spending money on me too much for my liking or comfort. I was going to have to have a talk with him about it when he came back from his hunting trip. He didn't need to be spending part of the Cullen fortune on me. I didn't think it was necessary. I had everything I needed and more.

I picked up my toothbrush and went to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth with the sparkly toothbrush Alice supplied me and the expensive toothpaste that was lying on the counter like it had always been there. I brushed my teeth very well trying to remove all traces of food from my mouth. I didn't want to gross out any of the Cullens with bad breath either. After I was done with brushing my teeth I relieved myself and then went back to Edward's room.

I walked over to the bed and sat down on it. I pulled out the silver phone Edward gave me incase of emergencies. I dialed Nate's number. I didn't pull the piece of paper out of my pocket; the one with the number Nate had given me a few hours earlier. I knew his number by heart, even after all this time. I hoped he hadn't changed it.

"Hello?" Nate's voice came through the receiver.

"Hey, Nate. It's Bella," I said. I hoped I hadn't called at a bad time.

"Oh, what's up, Princess?" Nate said. It was obvious he was happy and surprised to have me call so soon after he gave his number.

"Just called because I was bored," I stated simply. I hoped that he wasn't doing anything important that I was keeping him from.

"Me too." He said sheepishly. I laughed.

"So where are you?" I asked making conversation

"Uh I don't really know actually"

"You got lost?" I asked bewildered. "In FORKS!" How does anyone get lost in a town that is about 6 miles long? **(AN: Not really, just an expression)**

"No, Princess!" I could tell he was rolling his eyes. "I'm at some restaurant that Summer works at in Port Angleas."

"Oh"

"Where are you" Nate asked turning the conversation around abruptly.

"The Cullens'" I replied

"Is their house nice?" He asked conversationally.

"The best" I said at a monotone. Nate laughed

"Your boyfriend isn't home?" Nate guessed why I was calling

"Nope. Camping. I'm with his sister and his mom"

"Didn't think he'd be home if you were calling me" Nate said with a smile in his voice. I didn't answer

"I thought Edward had _two_ sisters?" Nate recalled what I had told him this afternoon. Again I didn't respond.

"Let me guess. One doesn't like you?" Nate guessed right. I didn't speak. "Are you still there, Princess?"

"Muhum" I mumbled. "How Summer?" I asked, turning the subject around

"Good. She's busy but she told me to tell you that she said hi."

"Tell her same." I was glad by the turn this conversation had taken. I truly missed Summer.

Nate and me made small talk for a while. We talked about his first day of school. He apparently has last period with Edward and me. Wow, that won't be actward at all! My baby daddy and boyfriend and me all in the same class. How fun! **(AN: Sorry. I couldn't help making Bella a little sarcastic. LOL) **Not. We also talked about a few other unimportant things like books or movies or colors or something along those lines.

There was some mumbling on the other end. "Summer's shift is ending, Isabel. I better go before my mom see me with my phone." We both laughed. His mom doesn't like him or his siblings to use their phones after seven for some reason, I have never cared enough about to ask. We said goodbye and hung up.

I scooted back on the bed and pulled the covers back to climb in when I heard a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" A golden voice chimed. It was Rosalie's voice. I briefly wondered what she wanted with the human girl she hated most.

"Yeah?" It sounded more like a question than an answer. My voice was uneven when I spoke. I hoped she wouldn't notice but I already knew she had. Rosalie paused at the door before entering. Why? Why should she be nervous talking to me?

"Hello, Bella" She said as she entered. She appraised my stance. I was standing actwardly next to the bed, with the covers pulled back. "I didn't wake you did I?" She asked half concerned.

"No" I said quickly.

"Okay" This was very actward. I looked her over. She made me want to curl up under the covers and never come back up. She looked wonderful while I looked very weird in skimpy pajamas. Rosalie motioned towards the bed. I sat down and pulled the covers over my legs. She sat across from me on the bed.

"How much do you know about me, Bella?" Rose asked breaking the silence after a few minutes

"Not very much" I admitted sheepishly. "All I know is what Edward's told me"

"And what is that?" She asked skeptically

"That you are a vampire because what would have happened to me in Port Angleas happened to you. Except there was no one there to save you." I said half guessing.

I hoped I got it right. Edward shied away from any questions that had to do with his sister. It kind of bugged me sometimes how he tried to keep things from me. He claims it was because he was trying to protect me but I wasn't always so sure. I guess I'm really no better though. I kept things from him too.

"That's right." She started. "Do you want me to elaborate on it?" Rosalie offered

"Yes. That would be nice," I said hoping to understand her better after this.

"I was 18 years old, Bella. I had everything in life I would have ever wanted. I was my parents' favorite; they loved me more than either of my brothers. I was the most beautiful girl in the state of New York. I had a best and long time loyal friend Vera. And most of all I was engaged to a King. Royce was his name. Royce King the 2nd actually." The way Rosalie's mouth was set I could tell she didn't like him. I looked the same as Edward's did when he spoke of an enemy of his or the way mine looked when I talked about Ryann. Just the thought of Ryann made me instantly angrier. Rosalie didn't seem to notice. She was too absorbed in her own story.

"Royce was sweet and nice in public. We never spent much time alone. His father owned the bank where my father had a sturdy job. The great depression was like a horror story or a terrible rumor in our houses. We never had to worry about silly things like that." Rosalie rolled her eyes. She saw my face, which probably looked far off.

How was it that this was real? I mean it sounded more like a fairy tale to tell a little girl. I guess to her that's what I am though. A little girl. She probably thinks I'm too young to understand this.

"Life was different then than it is now. It wasn't uncommon to get married at 18." Rosalie explained to me. "Not when you could afford it. And trust me Royce could afford it. The Kings were very wealthy. When we were on public he always looked proud to have his arm around me. I was just as proud. I was marring into the King's family and my family couldn't have been more ecstatic. He was everything my father would have dreamed of for a son-in-law. I realize now that my dad was just hoping to get a promotion at the bank to make more money off of me. If I didn't marry Royce I believe my father would have." Rosalie laughed without humor.

"My father and my mother's favorite thing to do was spoil me. My father would buy me as many pretty dresses as I wanted and my mother would do the same. She loved to sit around with her friends and brag. Royce loved to brag to his friends about me too. I was on top of the world. Royce and I had a date set for the wedding. It was going to be every thing I ever hoped for and more. I day dreamed about how are children would look. Fair haired and gorgeous." He eyes held an ancient sadness to them now. I briefly wondered why.

"My best friend Vera had a beautiful baby boy named Henry. He had curly dark hair and dimples. I was envious for a short while that she had a husband and a baby and I didn't. But then I got engaged and I was no longer jealous. I was at Vera's house visiting her and Henry. It had become later than I had realized and her husband was coming home. I really should have called my father to escort me home but I had lived only a few blocks away so I thought I might be safe. I was wrong." She once again laughed without humor.

"Royce and his friends had gotten drunk and found me. They gang raped me and left me I the streets to die. That's when Carlisle found me. He changed me but I would have rathered he let me die. 2 years later I found Emmett while hunting and saved him from a bear attack. He didn't mind immortality as much as I did." Rosalie finished her story

"So you did get your happy ending?" I assumed. "You got Emmett"

"I got half" Rosalie half smiled. "I also wanted children more than anything else in the world. But for a vampire female it's impossible. Alice can't remember being human to miss it and Esme make do with us, but you, Bella, you can have kids." Rosalie pointed out.

I realized that this talk was of the reasons she thought I had to stay human. I thought about what she just stated. Yes, I can have kids. But what's the point with all the pain they come with? And, no, I don't mean childbirth. I mean losing them. Many women lose their babies, and they live very productive lifes. Why do I still dwell on it? I just want the pain to stop. I took in a deep breath, hoping Rosalie wouldn't notice my change in attitude. She'd probably write it off as an effect of her talk and thought I was caving. But I wasn't. I knew what I wanted since the beginning. When I met Edward. That hadn't and would never change.

I also hadn't thought of Esme. She lost a child too. But my pain was different than hers. And now she has substitute children. I don't. I don't have anything to make up for my loss other than distractions. I wasn't saying mine was worse than Esme's. Just different. Maybe it just seems that way though because she was older when she lost hers.

I try to hide my pain from Edward and Charlie and Jacob and Renee but they see through me. Charlie just assumes girl stuff. Edward assumes Jacob and Jacob assumes Edward. I haven't spent much time with Jake so it seemed easy to avoid. Charlie won't press it for fear of emotional outbursts. Edward now knows the truth. And Renee always knew, but never knew what to really say about it. What do you say to your daughter in this situation?

"I don't want children, Rosalie," I whispered. I don't know why I whispered that sentence, I just did.

"But you might in a couple years" She said softly. I shook my head

Rosalie sighed. "Are you always this stubborn?" She said angrily frustrated. Rosalie was angry that I wasn't giving in to her? How pigheaded was she!

"So what if I am!" I shot back. She looked angry but I didn't care. Rosalie didn't seem use to people fighting back with her, especially me. The human she hated.

"So what, Bella?" Rosalie was fuming now. "In a few years, when you're a vampire and you're with Edward, you see a baby. And you realize then that you were wrong and you messed up about a permanent thing! Then you get upset, which upsets Edward and then the rest of us have to deal with _both_ of you because _you _were _stupid_ enough to NEVER have kids!" She yelled outraged.

I was twice as angry as she was. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was surprised. I didn't know I could feel this mad. Rosalie always hated me but I never fought back when she made a snide comment to my face or glared at me. Now I wasn't even angry with her, I was angry in general. I just needed someone to get mad at me so I could let all my anger out.

"How the hell do you know I have never had kids, Rosalie!" I screamed. I heard a whoosh and the door fly open, revealing Esme and Alice. I had forgotten that we weren't alone and they were probably listening in to our conversation. Or our fight at the end.

"What do you mean, Bella" Rosalie spat at me. "Have you ever had a child?" She said as if she already knew the answer. I looked away and bit my lip. All three of them studied my face for a few seconds.

Then, like lightning struck them, all three of them figured it out. Esme gasped. I looked at her and Alice, frozen in the doorway.

"Did you not see me and Edward's conversation this afternoon, Alice?" I asked directly.

"No, your future was blurry the whole afternoon." Alice stated. What? My future was blurry? Now this was creeping me out.

"Esme, Alice" Rosalie said firmly. "Give me a moment alone with Bella" she ordered. They both gave me hesitant looks before walking out of the room. No doubt they'd be listening in to whatever I told Rosalie.

"Bella" Rosalie said directly now, trying to capture my attention. But there was something in her voice I had never heard before. She was speaking softly to me now. "Bella, have you ever had kids?" She asked softly. I nodded. She took a big intake of breath. "How many?" She asked just as kindly after a moment. I held up one finger not trusting my voice to carry itself. "When?" Rosalie asked genuinely curious. I figured it wasn't going to get any easier by just waiting for her to ask the right questions.

"3 years ago" I whispered knowing she heard me perfectly. She nodded.

"What did you do with your baby, Bella?" She asked another question. I sighed

"Do you want to know the full story, Rosalie." I asked half willing. She nodded.

"I was living with my mom in Phoenix and going to school with my 11 best friends" She raised one eyebrow at my number of friends. "My mom was busy a lot and Charlie didn't really spend much time with me but I didn't really care. I had a boyfriend. His name is Nate." I kept my voice at a monotone. "Me and him were friends for 2 years and dating for a few months when he got me pregnant. Our families weren't thrilled but they initially got over it-except I never told Charlie. But Nate's brother Ryann didn't care. We didn't know until later that he was getting high all the time. Until it was too late" My voice broke on the last word. I looked at Rosalie's face. She looked sympathetic and interested. "I gave birth to a baby named Novalee. She was beautiful and perfect in every way. But after a month we got in a car accident with Nate's brother Ryann because he was driving under the influence. He hit right where Novalee was. She was automatically killed" I choked out the last sentence.

I tried to look at Rosalie through my eyes, which were now tearful. But what Rosalie did next shocked me more than anything else. She pulled me towards her and rested my head in the base of her neck. Rosalie patted my head and I cried into her neck for a few minutes.

Finally I pulled away. "My dad never knew and Nate is now living in Forks." I explained

Her eyes grew big. "The new family? The-

"Carters" I interrupted

"Yeah" She stared at me blankly. "Wow, Bella. Does Edward know anything about this?" She asked

"Yes. I told him this afternoon."

"Is that why you ran out of school early" She asked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Of course there was no secrets in the Cullen house. Alice must have told them.

"Yeah. And apparently Alice can't see Nate's future either." I stated. I wiped my eyes and Rosalie patted my head.

"Are you okay?" She asked

"Yeah. I am" I lied. She probably saw through it but my voice didn't break so she let it go. There was a sudden knock on the door.

"Come in" Rosalie called

Alice burst through the door with Esme quick on her heels. She threw her arms around me.

"I am so so so sorry about your baby, Bella" Alice chanted in my ear. I didn't respond.

Alice pulled away at the same time as Esme hugged me too. "Honey, I had no idea!" She too apologized for something that wasn't her fault.

"You guys, it's fine." I said nonchalantly. I didn't want to have a big break down like I did this past afternoon. Alice opened her mouth to say something but Esme cut her off.

"Dear, let Bella sleep. I'm sure that's she wants to do." Esme looked at me.

I nodded. Sleep sounded pretty good right now. I just didn't want to have to look at Rosalie-the one Cullen who hated me more than anything-Rosalie whose face held compassion. Alice whose face held regret for something she couldn't have stopped. And Esme's was the worst. Her's held sympathy. That's what I hated more than anything. People feeling sorry for me. Who wants _that_?

Rosalie headed out the door after saying a simple goodnight. Alice hugged me and kissed my cheek and left. Esme stayed for a few extra seconds. She pushed me to lay down on the bed I was already on. She pulled the covers around me the way a mother does.

"Bella, dear, I am very sorry for everything that's happened to you." I just merely nodded. Esme kissed my forehead and turned around and left the room after turning the light off.

I feel into a deep slumber.

**AN: I couldn't decide whether to include a good description of Rosalie's story or not because obviously if you have read Eclipse you already know it. I just decided to include it in the end. Incase you're wondering, it was the best way I could think of to get Bella to share her story with the Cullens. So 14 reviews and I'll update as quick as I can. I promise!**


	10. Chapter 9: I Hate My Life Part 1

**AN: Okay, I am so sorry I haven't updated for a few weeks. It's been hectic between my cousin getting married, school shopping and my internet crashing. Again i am sorry. I am almost done with the next chapter. I need 8 reviews though.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in here!**

I hate my life………………….

The next two days went pretty much normal. Except for when I woke up the next day I listened to Alice, Esme and Rosalie tell me how sorry they were for my loss. And I hated every second of it. They could probably tell by the look on my face. I mean, it wasn't as if I was trying to hide anything. But they probably wrote it off as some sort of post grief thing, they thought I was going through. In reality I hated it because I hated people feeling sorry for me. How pathetic was I that a group of vampires feel sorry for me, one of them even dislikes me very strongly?

I went home on Saturday after spending an extra two hours at the Cullens', as I promised Alice I would. After constant apologies I got the heck out of there. I thought my head was going to explode for the annoyance I was feeling. I was glad Jasper was hunting. I don't think he could handle what I was feeling. I felt better and worse when I was driving back to my house.

Charlie. He didn't know the truth. I don't think he even knew I had a boyfriend before Edward. That was good and bad. Charlie wouldn't know so I would be able to not think about it. If that were possible. I could easily not tell him a thing because he doesn't talk about his feeling nor do I with him. I wouldn't have to hear his actward apology that I was dreading from everyone else.

Charlie didn't say anything unusual when I got home. Saturday and Sunday went by normal. I woke up on Monday morning already in a bad mood. I would have to go to school today so that could keep me preoccupied but I would have to go to school without Edward.

I got dressed without looking at what I was wearing and ran a brush through my hair. I walked down stairs. Charlie was already gone. I went out to my truck and started it up. Then I drove to school. When I pulled up in the parking lot, though, I got my first hint to why I now hated my life.

Mike was giving me a questioning stare. I raised my eyebrow but didn't push it. I walked into the hallway. Everyone that was currently in the hallway turned to look at me, even the teachers. I blushed and looked away. Why was everyone staring? Nate was standing at the end of the hall. I walked down the hall, receiving a few stares from girls, to Nate.

"What's going on?" I asked when I reached him.

"I think they figured it out" Nate's expression blank.

"What!" I shrieked. It didn't matter; the whole hallway was already staring at us.

"They got a hint, that we have a past together. I mean, it's not like we really were private yesterday." He pointed out.

His words calmed me a little. They didn't know about Novalee. They only assumed that we were dating. I could deal with that. I saw Alice walk into the school. She spotted me and came over to where Nate and me were standing.

"Hello, Bella" Alice had her cheerfulness back.

"Hey." I turned to Nate. He was staring at Alice. "Nate this is Alice," I motion towards her. "Alice this is Nate" I motioned towards him.

"Hey, Nate." Alice greeted him. She stuck her hand out. Nate looked at it for a second then took it.

"Hi, Alice" Nate smiled. I internally breathed a sigh of relief. They may get along. This might have been a reason for this day to maybe be okay, but no. The good of the moment wasn't going to last long.

Nate gave me a questioning look, gesturing towards Alice. She looked confused at our silent conversation.

"Yes, Nate. Alice knows." I told him. Alice stopped looking confused and understood.

"Bella told me last Friday." Alice added in

Nate nodded. "Do you mind, you know. Not telling anybody. We don't want to make a big deal out of it." Nate asked nicely. I was slightly impressed with Nate. He was using manners and being polite. Not that he was normally rude but still.

"Of course not." Alice said in her silvery voice.

Just then the bell rang. We said our goodbyes and headed off to class. I had English as my first period. I walked into class and took my seat, next to the empty one that was usually Edward's. Right in front of me was Lauren and Jessica as usual.

"Do you think she gave him a STD?" Lauren asked. This was my second clue to why I now hate my life.

"I don't think so. I think she was really bad in bed." Jessica replied wryly. Lauren snickered. She made a side glance towards me, and then her grin got even wider. I somehow got the impression, at that point, they were talking about me

"What?" I demanded

"Nothing" Jessica said then giggled. It was really making me mad that they were laughing about me and weren't telling me.

"What!" I yelled. Class hadn't started yet so everyone in the class turned and looked at me when I yelled.

Lauren looked around. She seemed to enjoy the spotlight unlike me. "Were you ever involved with Nate Carter, Bella?" She asked smiling at my discomfort.

Everyone stared at me, waiting for an answer. I glared at Lauren the best I could. I wanted to rip this vile excuse for a girl's throat out. I was abruptly frustrated with Edward in the back of my mind. If he had made me a vampire already, ripping Lauren's throat out would have been entirely a possibility. I didn't respond to Lauren's question.

Now this is my third reason for why I now hate my life.

"Well, Bella. I guess _you were pretty irrelevant to Nate_ because he didn't call you since you moved to Forks. He didn't talk to you since you moved to Forks. Nate didn't mention you the first day here. And he looked pretty surprised when he saw you in the cafeteria yesterday. I think it's pretty safe to say you mean nothing more to him than just another ex girlfriend." Lauren taunted me. "Oh, and by the way, Princess is the stupidest nickname I have ever heard!" She laughed along with a lot of other people. I just wanted to smack her in the face so hard that her head exploded. I hated her. I mean I absolutely hated her. But I couldn't find it in me to move. I looked down at my lap, unable to defend myself.

Lauren's words cut through me like a knife cut through vegetables. Was I irrelevant to Nate? He hadn't called me since I moved to Forks. He hadn't mad an effort to try to talk to me the first day of school. Okay in his defense he didn't know I went to this school, but still. My point stands. Did he care about me or was he just feeling sorry for me. Of course I should feel sorry for him too but really. _I don't want to be irrelevant._ For the rest of class I was vacant. Did I matter or not. Nate was never clear on this stuff and it was really angering me. I wanted to know.

Okay now I know I sounded like a bratty 18-year-old girl. I did the independent reading for English and ignored all the jabs I was hearing from Lauren and Jess in front of me.

"Did you hear that she killed his mother then blackmailed him to date her?" Jessica said loudly to Lauren once during class. How ridicules could she get?

"No, I heard she got pregnant on purpose to trap him" Lauren replied glancing my way to see if I was listening. I tried to look like I wasn't but I probably didn't do a very good job of it. Lauren had no idea that her stupid rumor had an element of truth to it. I tried to not let that show on my face.

Twenty minutes later Lauren said to Jessica "Do you think she gave him anything?"

"Like what? Herpes?" Jess was not doing a very good job of suppressing her amusement if she was trying to surpress it at all.

"Yeah…Or something like that" Lauren added

Samantha, **(AN:OMG! That's my name! Haha! They did mention a Samantha as a human girl in Twilight, I believe.) **who across the room shot a look at me. I never talked to Samantha much but from what I could tell she was pretty okay. Well up until now. Kalob, who was sitting right next to her, said something I couldn't make out. But I did make out what Samantha said.

"Well, I still think Bella Swan is a slut" She shot a glance my way but looked away from my gaze once she saw I was staring right back. I cannot believe she had the nerve to call me a slut! The bitch!

Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered where my sudden hostility was coming from. Was it because I was sick of taking people's crap? Was it because I was channeling who I was in Phoenix lately so I was acting more like my old self? Naw, I doubt it was the last one. If I was my old self, I would have smacked her right in the middle of class and Lauren would probably be on a stretcher on her way to the hospital right now. Or I would be, depending on who won the fight.

I knew I was making it sound like I was two different people. One prior to Phoenix, one post Phoenix. But in some ways it felt like I was two different people. I wasn't the same person I was in Arizona. I was more childish and normal back then. Part of me longed for that again but part of me didn't. It was hard for me to explain, even to myself.

The bell rang and I walked out of class at a normal pace, trying not to stick out. It didn't matter. Everyone still stared and whispered among themselves. I felt like it was my first day of school again but worse. Worse because this time, I was alone. Not even Jessica or anybody else that was obsessing about me the first day was talking to me now. As much as I hated it, being the center of attention because I was new, I wish that were the case now.

I walked to my locker to pick up my trig book that Alice dropped off after I bailed out of lunch on Friday. I pulled the book out as I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Janelle with Chelsea, her friend and another junior.

"Hey" I said unenthusiastically

"Hey" Janelle said. "So…" She trailed off

"Yeah" I really had no patience today

"Are you and Nate? Like. A thing?" She asked

"No. Me and Nate Carter are no currently a thing" I said slowly and rudely.

"Well then how do you know him?" She asked kindly. I had half expected her to be hostile or noisy but she just sounded interested. And not like Jessica is when she thinks she has found a new piece of gossip.

"Him and I are just old friends. That's all" I said nicer this time. "Listen, I'm sorry but I'm really having a hell of a day. I am not in the mood to answer these questions, Janelle," I informed her

"Oh, I'm sorry" she apologized quickly.

"Not your fault." I replied as I slammed my locker door shut.

"Well see you around" Janelle waved and then turned around. I had completely forgotten Chelsea's presences until I heard her mumble to Janelle and make a forth reason to why I hate my life.

"If Bella really was just _old friends_ with Nate and they weren't involved then she wouldn't be such a bitch right now." Chelsea remarked to Janelle.

"Hey, give Bella a break. Besides it's really none of our business." Janelle stuck up for me again. Like she did with Lauren on Friday. I would have to thank her on a later date.

I rushed to Trigonometry. A fifth reason for my misery.

My usual seat was preoccupied by Jessica's feet. I walked up behind my seat, thinking Jess just hadn't seen me walk through the door. I cleared my throat. Jessica looked up.

"Can I help you?" Jessica's voice was mocking.

"Your feet are in my seat." I said each word precise and distinct.

"I don't see your name written on it" She used the classic comeback

"Excuse me…" I just stared at her like a fool.

"Get another seat Swan" Jessica's voice was demanding and rude.

I looked at Mike who sat in the row ahead of us and normally had a smile on his face. Not now. Now he wouldn't look at Jess or me. I turned my gaze to Angela. She gave me a sympathetic look but didn't speak up.

"Are you just gonna stand there, Swan" Jessica made a snide comment

I walked to the back of the classroom and sat down in a vacant spot where nobody else sits. It was the farthest back so I hoped nobody would notice I was here. Let alone alive. Lucky for me this is the one class with a teacher who doesn't take attendance.

15 minutes into class I could no longer focus. Edward was away. That alone was enough for me to have a bad day, but on top of that, all my other friends were shunning me. I was angry and willing to take it out on anyone. I buried my face in my arms that were already folded on the table. I wanted to scream. And the worse is, what if this gets back to Charlie? What am I going to do then?

I was so preoccupied that I didn't notice someone else had come to sit with me.

"Hey, Bella?" Conner whispered, trying not to draw attention on us. He was bent down next to me trying to look like he was always there.

"Yeah?" I whispered back.

"What's going on between you and Nate?"

"Nothing. We knew each other in Phoenix that's all" I whispered. Conner didn't look convinced but he let it go, because the teacher asked a question I didn't even care to make out. Conner walked quietly back to his seat, without being noticed.

"Bella?" Kalob was only a row in front of me so he could easily talk to me.

"Yeah" I said in a quiet voice. I could already tell you what this conversation was about.

"Did you sleep with Nate?" He asked. Okay, that question took me by surprise. Apparently it took Lee, who was sitting next to Kalob with Violet next to him, by surprise too. Avoiding the question, I tried to catch up with the class on what the teacher was talking about.

"Did you, Bella?" Lee joined our conversation.

"No!" I hissed. Screw being polite.

"You're a rotten liar, Bella." Kalob added in

"Shut up, Kalob" I shot back. "What the hell would you know?"

"Oh come on, Bella. I've had more than enough experience" Kalob rolled his eyes.

"Well _I'm_ not a slut" The words slipped out before I could take them back. Kalob didn't look offended though.

"Maybe" Kalob raised one bushy eyebrow. "Or maybe, you're more like me, than you admit."**(AN: Sorry, Gossip Girl line there. LOL)**

I doubt I was supposed to hear the last part of Kalob's comeback but didn't press it.

"Don't pay attention to her, Kalob. She's just another slut that's after Nate." Violet's eyes shot to my face. She had never really had much to do with me since I moved to Forks, Violet was friends with Lauren but they weren't that close.

I wondered, was this sudden hostility to me completely because of Nate? She wouldn't be alone. Lauren hated me because of Nate. Well, she already hated me, but Jessica hated me again because of Nate too. The sophomore Chelsea hated me because of Nate. Samantha hated me because of Nate. Angela was not talking to me and neither was Mike for that matter, all because of Nate. Does he always have to cause this much drama in my life?

Violet glared as I glared back the best I could with my mouth hanging open. I heard Jessica laugh at the other side of the room. The teacher looked at her.

"Something funny, miss Stanley?" He asked sternly

"No, sir"

"Then let's get back on track everyone."

For the rest of trig I did my work alone and listened the best I could. I finished my homework by the time class was over. When the bell rang I was one of the first people to walk out of class. So what if I stuck out now? Everyone was already talking about me so might as well stick out. I felt a cold hand on my arm. It was Alice.

"I'm so sorry about those people, Bella. You don't deserve any of the crap you're getting" Alice apologized for something out of her control.

"It's not your fault, Alice," I pointed out.

What I didn't say is that it's mine. My fault, for getting pregnant. For lying. For running. All of it was my doing, but somehow I think Alice would care to disagree. Even if she didn't, if Edward found out that I said something like that he would tell me different for sure and that mayturn into an argument. I wasn't going to start an argument with Edward internally so I kept my mouth shut.

"I could have at least given you a warning." Alice sighed, regretful as we walked in to Spanish class, possibly the worst class all day and the best reason to why I now hate my life. We took our seats but Edward's seat remained empty right next to me. We were one of the ones in the class along with a few other people. I spotted Chelsea and her boyfriend Max.

"Como estas, Bella?" Ms. Goff asked me **(AN: I took middle school Spanish for 2 semesters so I know a little bit of it. Mrs. Goff just asked, "How are you?")**

"Mal" I replied blankly. **(AN: Bad)**

Alice elbowed me lightly on the ribs and chuckled. Just then Angela, Ben and Mike walked in through the door. I didn't think they had this period with me.

Angela walked up to me first. "Bella, I just want to apologize for not sticking up for you in Trig. It was inexcusable." She said sorry. Ben nodded and smiled a small smile at me.

"It's fine, Angela" I assured her feeling just a bit better that she wasn't completely shutting me out.

"Me too, Bells." Mike agreed from behind Ben. "Listen I don't think the same as Jess. I just didn't want to get in the middle of the girl fight, you know." Mike added. I smiled a little.

"There wasn't a girl fight because Bella is way too mature to participate in such a petty thing with someone a despicable as Jessica" Alice all but growled at Mike. "And Bella would so kick Jessica's ass" Alice mumbled under her breath only loud enough for me to hear. I chuckled a little. Mike and Ben nodded again not wanting to get in the middle of it.

"So…Bella…" Mike hinted.

"Spit it out, Mike" I groaned know what he was asking. Had he not heard it from everyone else that had already asked me today?

"You and Carter?" Great, he was already calling Nate by his last name. You have got to be kidding me.

"Yeah, it kind of seemed out of no where, Bella?" Ben added in equally interested. Even though Angela trying not to pry I could tell she was obviously curious. Even Mrs. Goff was trying to make out what we were saying from the front of the room.

"Okay. Fine! I dated Nate almost two years ago! Okay! Is everyone happy?" I all but screamed frustrated, throwing my hands up in the air.

Everyone in the room was now looking at me. That included of Chelsea, Max, Meg, Dan, Austin, Jack, Alex, Hannah and Myra, not including Angela, Ben, Mike, Alice and Mrs. Goff who were already staring at me. I flush embarrassed.

"YOU ROTTEN WHORE!" Chelsea screamed.

My head shot up and I put my most merciful glare on her, standing up, my hands balling into fists. I was ready to pounce when I felt someone hold me back.

Mike's arms were wrapped around my torso restraining me from moving without looking like a worm and Ben and Jack moved in to help him hold me back. While at the other side of the room Max was restraining Chelsea from coming over to me. It wasn't till then I noticed Dan, Alex and Austin were holding Alice back. Or trying at least. There were pretty unsuccessful because of Alice being a vampire-not that they knew-Alice was able to shake them off easily. Something she shouldn't have been able to do if she was in her full human charade but right now she looked too pissed to care.

I was still squirming again Mike, Ben and Jack, when I noticed the principal's presence and the rest of the class had now arrived in the door way and out in the hall. I hadn't even heard the bell ring.

"STOP!" He yelled, getting the effect he wanted. "I cannot believe I am seeing such disrespect in this school. Of all my years of teaching I have never seen such an act of anger. And from two lovely young ladies." Mr. Greene's eyes shot back between Chelsea, Alice, and me. We all stopped squirming and the boys let us go.

"Hey!" Chelsea yelled, "Bella was going to attack me, with one of her little gangers outcasts." She gestured towards Alice. "I was only getting ready to stick up for myself."

"Is that true?" Mr. Greene's voice still stern as he asked Mrs. Goff.

"Bella was provoked by Chelsea" Mrs. Goff added in. She sent me a small smile. I was glad to know she was on my side.

"Well, I'll see you two in my office tomorrow morning. Seven A.M sharp," The principal eyed Chelsea and me. "You're off the hook just this once, Alice. Now everyone else. Get to your right class." He added gruffly

Mike and Ben left without a word but Angela gave me a sympathetic look. The kind of looks I hated. But Angela didn't know the truth completely so that made me feel a little better. She just felt bad because I got in trouble. For the remainder of class instead of speaking and learning Spanish, we listened while Mrs. Goff lectured us on how to behave in school.

As a result the whole class got twice as much homework as usual, all due by tomorrow. And nobody had anyone else to blame for that but Chelsea and me. It earned Chelsea and me a few glares from the other kids. By the time the bell rang for lunch I was so glad just to get out of there.

**AN: Okay, 8 reviews and I'll update as soon as I get them. it could be tonight even. If I get 8.**


	11. Chapter 10: I Hate My Life Part 2

**AN: Okay. I promised I would update as soon as I had 8 reviews even if it I had to tonight. I got more than 10 reviews so I worked as hard as I could for you guys. This is all I did except have a driving lesson from my sister. Haha, it's funny to say that because I'm thirteen. Yeah, I know. It's illegal. HAHA. I need 10 reviews to update but I can't update till at least Tuesday. I know, I hate it. I'm going camping tomorrow until Monday night but I'm still trying to write as fast as I can. 10 reviews though will make it go faster. A lot fast!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or anything in here. Sadly…**

I ran out of there not looking where I was going and ran straight into another person. I fell back along with Nate.

"Oh, sorry, Princess" Nate said immediately.

"God don't you got a boyfriend!" Violet said as she walked by. Nate glared at her and started to say something but she walked off.

"Are you going to let her talk to you like that!" Nate demanded.

"Yes" I said it like it should be obvious. I picked up my books.

"The girl I knew in Phoenix would have never let that slide" Nate made a rude remark.

I couldn't take it anymore. It was his fault I was dealing with all this harassment today. Nate's fault that I missed my Spanish test on Friday. Nate's fault I had to lie to Edward for the past year and a half. Nate's fault my dad doesn't even know everything about me. Nate's fault everyone was making fun of me and calling me a slut. His fault that I had to go to the principal's office tomorrow morning. _Everything_ was Nate's fault.

"You know what Nate, SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP! I don't want you to ever talk to me again! All you do is cause me trouble! You are an stupid jackass!" I screeched not caring who heard me.

"Oh, yeah! Well you're a pain in my ass, Isabel. All you do is whine and complain for stupid reasons!" Nate yelled back

"Yeah, well maybe I wouldn't have any reason to whine and complain at all if you weren't in my life!" I swear half the hallway heard that. I pushed at his chest sending him 2 feet back.

"I hate you!" I said acidly

"Yeah, well then that makes two of us," He said just as cold. I pivoted and walked away. Alice was at the other end of the hallway.

"What was that all about?" She asked as soon as I reached her.

"Nothing" I gave her a look that I hope read drop it. Alice seemed to. She acted like there was nothing unusual about us sitting as far away from everyone else as possible.

"Sorry" I mumbled

"Why?" Alice raised one eyebrow

"Because you can't sit with the normal people at lunch and now you're getting stares like me." I explained. We sat through one moment of silence then Alice broke it with her silvery laughter.

"Oh, Bella! You're so cute!" she giggled. "I didn't sit with normal people before you came here anyway and people already stare at me." Alice pointed out.

"I guess," I mumbled going back through my food, not really eating anything.

"You should eat something. Edward will have my head if he finds out I let you eat nothing." Alice pointed out. I shoved an apple in my mouth. "Don't choke, Bells" Alice laughed, and I spit the apple out when I found it impossible to chew a whole apple at once. Alice got a kick out of my many tries though. "You know, Bella, you're not the only one who is eating away from everyone today." Alice pointed behind me there was Nate eating at the other side of the cafeteria alone.

I looked at him until he turned around. You know that feeling like someone is watching you. It's really creepy if you are alone in the dark. Anyway I gave that feeling to Nate so he turned around. Somehow he spotted me all the way over at the other side of this big room. We made eye contact for a second then I motioned for him to come on over.

Nate applied. "Hey" He said

"Hey" I said back, not forgetting the fight we had ten minutes ago.

"Hey!" Alice's cherry voice made both of us laugh.

"I'm sorry" Nate looked me in the eye and said.

I sighed "Me too." I gestured towards the seat next to me. Nate sat down.

"Are you sure this is a good idea. We already seem to be the school gossip from a 20 second confrontation 3 days ago." Nate teased. I smiled but looked over my shoulder. Sure enough there were people staring. I looked away.

"Let them think whatever they want. I highly doubt they'll come across the truth." I replied. It was easy to talk about our lives and unusual problems without worrying that someone was going to hear what we say because we sat so far away from everyone else.

"Yeah, I sure hope not. Bella may get suspended if they do." Alice added, referring to Spanish.

"What?" Nate looked confused.

"Hasn't anyone told you?" I asked Nate

"No. Incase you haven't noticed, Isabel, I'm kind of out of the loop." Nate said sarcastically

"Hey, you're not alone" I pointed out.

"So what happened?" Nate asked Alice. For the remainder of lunch Alice filled Nate in on what happened in Spanish.

At the end Nate laughed. "Sounds like, Princess." Alice chuckled at Nate's comment. "Well except before you wouldn't used to let anyone hold you back. Trust me, I tried once and got bruises from all her kicking." He put a arm around my shoulder jokingly and I shoved him playfully.

"You're just a wimp," I taunted

"Or maybe you're just a freak" I rolled my eyes. Alice seemed to enjoy our little bickering. The last two minutes of lunch Nate pointed to my tray.

"Eat," He commanded. Alice giggled.

"Shut up" I mumbled to her. I opened my water bottle and chugged it down in 3 seconds. Alice looked impressed. Nate rolled his eyes.

"Great, now you're gonna have to pee" Nate laughed. I glared at him playfully. The bell rang. Alice and me walked down the hall with Nate.

"What class do you have now?" Alice asked Nate

"Uh, Spanish" Nate said looking at his list with all the classes names they give to new students. "What bout you?" He asked

"English" Alice said, bored

"Biology" I added. I then remembered I had to make up the test. We went our separate ways. I walked into biology. Great, another reason why my life sucks.

Mr. Banner spotted me. "Oh, Bella. I hope you're feeling better. I heard you got sick on Friday." A few girls, whose names are unimportant, snickered.

"I feel better now." I mumbled, embarrassed. He nodded.

"Well, here you go." Mr. Banner handed me a test. "You can go to the library to work on it and just come back when you're finished."

"Thanks!" I said a little too enthusiastic. He smiled unsurprised. I realized that teachers aren't completely out of the gossip circle and that he probably heard about what was going on in my school life. I became slightly uncomfortable. I walked down the hall to the library. I handed my note to the librarian, Ms. Shawns. It accrued to me that Ms. Shawns probably knew the truth. That was still a little bit better than Mr. Banner. Mr. Banner was old. Ms. Shawns was about 28 with light brown hair and a very petite body. She looked like she could probably pass for a high school senior.

I sat down at the table she assigned me. This may be the best class all day. I didn't have to talk to too many people, and no one was staring or gossiping with me around. Of course I knew they were gossiping behind my back but still. Not having to see it made it better. To me at least.

There were four people in the library besides Ms. Shawns and me. Kelci, Mac, Austin and Lee. Kelci smiled and waved at me. I always liked her, or Charlie did at least. She was one of Charlie's friend and co-worker Mark's daughter and she was a freshman. Her and me had met a few times before, from what I could tell she was a nice girl who didn't like to engage in too much gossip. She didn't like Jessica very much. Edward said her thoughts were very pure and kind. Angela and her were the only two like that, which we knew. She had blonde hair and pretty tan skin from spending summers in California. She was very pretty to say the least.

Nobody else was staring at me so I got to work on the test. I looked at the clock about 25 minutes later. I was done and I had 35 minutes left. I decided to wait and not go back to the classroom. I might be a coward but I just didn't want to deal with everyone else.

"Hey, Bella" whispered a silvery voice. Alice.

"Alice. What are you doing here?" I asked

"I saw you in here all alone for the rest of class and told Ms. Smitt that I need a book and she let me go. I'm going to keep you company." Alice explained

"Thanks" I smiled as she sat down across from me. Alice smiled, like she was remembering a good joke. "What is it?" I asked, smiling back

"I was just thinking about you and Nate at lunch." Alice smirked. "You two were funny"

"What do you think of Nate?" I asked. Alice's opinion mattered to me almost as much as Edward's.

"I think he seems really nice" Alice smiled. "I kind of got a read on his future." Alice added, now her smile went from thoughtful to happy. She was proud of herself for doing her ability right? I almost laughed out loud.

"You saw Nate's future?" I asked. Why couldn't she before?

"Kind of. I only saw glimpses like when he decided he would come sit with us or when he decided to go to class but there was some blurring in between." She explained. _"Almost as if he couldn't make up his mind"_ Alice mumbled more to herself than to me.

"Wow" Was all I said. After that we talked about unimportant things like shopping trips she wanted me to go on and how proud she was of me last Friday for wearing the outfit she picked out. I rolled my eyes, as she speculated the outfit I had on now. I hadn't looked this morning to know what I was dressed like. Alice looked like she disapproved but I didn't care enough to ask. It was nice to have these light conversations, about clothes and other things when my life was becoming so hectic right now.

When the bell rang, we gathered our stuff and went to our last class. As I walked in the door, I was reminded for the seventh time why I hate my life. Every single person turned as I walked into class and looked at me. Some were glaring, others were merely looking. I tried to ignore them but I was hard. One stuck out to me though. Nate. There were three empty seats next to him. I hesitated, I wanted to go sit with him but everyone was watching. What would they think if they saw me with Nate? Or would they think at all? They may just jump to conclusions.

Why did I care so much about what people thought of me? I shouldn't. Before I could even think about going to sit next to Nate, Alice had already danced her way over there and was dragging me along.

"Everyone's staring," I said as soon as we reached Nate,

"Ignore them" Nate commanded. "They don't matter" He added. I rolled my eyes. Such a Nate thing to say until it's him who's being called names then he's beating up the first person that spoke.

For the rest of History we all focused. Luckily there was no time for socialization. But it didn't change the fact that I heard people behind me, people I didn't know very well, people I had known since my first day here and they all were gossiping about me. Fun….

I gave Alice a ride to her house. When she invited me in I refused. I didn't want to have to talk to any more people. Except for one. One person I wanted more than anything at this very moment. Edward. He would be back tonight, hopefully soon. I thought about that, hoping that would brighten my mood. It did, magically. But not even that fact could wash away my bad day completely.

I walked into my house and went straight to my room. I checked my e-mail. I hadn't gotten any emails from Renee in weeks. Normally she's right on top of it. When my old computer finally cooperated, I checked. There was one new one. I opened it.

_Dear Bella, _

_Sorry, I haven't written back but Phil needed me to be a good wife for a while, the coach was checking families to make sure the team had good ones. Haha. Well now I have to go to the team dinner. I love you._

_Mom._

I rolled my eyes. I know my mom didn't mean it to be offensive but a few words stuck out to me. _Phil needed me to be a good wife._ Well what if Bella needed you to be a good mother? I didn't dwell on it too long. I looked at the time. It was 5:18. Charlie told me he was going to be home by six tonight. I should go downstairs to make dinner but I was tired from the hectic day at school.

I laid down on my bed, reliving the day. I really hoped I had only been the school gossip and not the town. The last thing I needed was to have Charlie asking me questions too. He didn't need to know about Nate. And if he ever did find out maybe it would be okay. It's not like we ever talked about my love life. He never knew if I ever had a boyfriend. But I guess it was kind of customary to tell your dad if he ever became a grandparent.

I thought back to my grandparents. They pretty much helped raise me until they died when I was thirteen. Heaven knows what would have happened if Renee raised me completely on her own. She can't even raise herself.

It occurred to me then, what would I have been like if I had raised Novalee. Obviously, I wouldn't have been on my own. Nate wouldn't of left me to raise a baby by myself. I don't think he would, at least. I never thought Edward would have left me on my own. I immediately pushed the thought away, as soon as I thought of it. Edward thought he was doing the right thing. But back to the thought of Novalee. Still to this day, it was hard to picture myself as a mother. But what if I had been a mother longer than a month. What would she be like today? Would she be a mean kid? No, I knew immediately. She wouldn't of. Novalee's personality was obvious even after a month. She would have been happy and bubbly and optimistic. She would maybe even be preppy.

Kind of like Alice. I smiled; I knew how much Alice would have liked her. Then something else occurred to me, would I know Alice. Would I know Esme? Or Carlisle? Would I know any of the Cullens'? The last thought was the hardest to picture. Would I know Edward if Novalee had lived? I thought for a moment. I left Phoenix because I couldn't face my grief anymore.

Okay, I know that makes me seem like a selfish person but still. I was young. Too young to have a baby, but then for me to lose it? I doubt anyone was old enough for that. I would have probably lived in Phoenix, in the sun. I would have continued to date Nate. I know all my friends would have helped out.

Almost all of them. Taylor, Starr whatever you chose to call her, she couldn't of helped raise Novalee. I blocked my mind from think that. I didn't want to break down again.

I knew in the end I would have found Edward. Under different circumstances, maybe but still. We would have found each other. No matter what, fate would have brought us together. I felt sappy thinking this. One of the many reasons I was glad that Edward couldn't read my mind.

I went back to my original thought. Was it fair to keep something like this from Charlie? Didn't he deserve to know he had a grandchild? I knew the answer. Yes, he did. He didn't deserve my constant lying, but come on! Did I deserve this? I knew I was being a brat but I couldn't stop myself. Why did God do this to me? Was it my punishment for having sex before marriage?

Why would he punish Novalee though? I knew the answer to that too. He wouldn't. There is no such thing as an illegitimate child. Just illegitimate parents. **(AN: Sorry one of my pastors said that once. LOL) **God has a plan, even if I don't know what it is yet.

I thought back to years ago, when I went to church every Sunday with my grandma. Then when she died when I was 13, I was already friends with Nate around that time. I went with him and his mom and siblings until I was seventeen and moved. Renee never went to church because she got bored and she could never hold still when she was bored. Renee was always more childish than me. I knew I shouldn't have lied when Carlisle and me talked about religion on my 18th birthday, but I couldn't tell him all of a sudden that I had gone to church for most of my life until my baby died so I decided to move to Forks to live with my very unreligious father.

I remember bring Novalee to church and how cute she looked. I felt a tear slip out. I brushed it away quickly, not letting anymore slip out. I didn't need a crying fest like yesterday. I still felt guilty for making Edward suffer through that with me. Even if he'll never make me feel guilty. I remembered my reasons for not going to church though. The closets church was one in Port Angleas, except the small crappy one in the hospital that could hold no more than 100 people. **(AN: Have you ever heard of a church in the hospital? I have, but I don't know if I'm the only one.)** It was one that Jessica, Kelci, Mike, Angela and Lauren went to and one where Angela's dad sometimes guest preaches.

I thought about today. What if Charlie had already heard what people at school were saying? What if he had met Nate's family? That would be possible considering he's a public figure in this town. He had, at least, heard that the Carters were moving to town. I sighed, realizing that I had to tell Charlie the truth. It was better to come from me now than from someone else later. I just needed to figure out the right moment. As if there were one.

Before I could think of anything I was broken out of my trace by the window opening. Edward jumped in. I read the clock quickly. It read 5:55. Crap, Charlie was going to be home soon. But before I could really care, I jumped in Edward's arms, latching my arms around his neck and my legs around my waist.

"Edward!" I squealed.

"Hey there, love" He chuckled.

"You're early." I said, not letting him put me down by squeezing myself closer.

"Yes, I am. I would of been earlier but I stopped by my house to change." Edward explained

"Oh, well I was just going to make dinner." I told him

He nodded, having something else on his mind completely.

"How was school today?" Edward asked, quietly

"Fine" I mumbled quickly. It was no use lying to him. He probably already knew from Alice's mind. "Did Alice tell you?" I asked quieter

"Yes. I saw it in her mind." He replied. "I am so sorry, Angel" Edward told me.

"It's not your fault." I said, still attached to his waist

"Still, those people are just vile excuses for humans." Edward tightened around me, bringing me so I was hugging his neck. I let him comfort me until I heard the front door shut, Edward jumped. I guess he wasn't paying close enough attention, too preoccupied with me. I jumped down from his torso.

"Dad!" I called

"I'm home, Bells." Charlie called back. "What's for dinner?" I realized it's now or never. If I didn't tell Charlie soon I will never get the courage.

"Edward" I whispered, not because I thought Charlie would hear me but because I couldn't find my voice. "I have to tell him. About Phoenix" I explained

"Are you sure, Bella?" Edward whispered back, his brows drawing together

I nodded. "It's now or never," I whispered but I don't know if I was talking to Edward or me.

**AN: Okay. I need 10 reviews to update with the next chapter. I will work on it first thing I can. Please tell me what you think. And I have pictures on my profile of pretty much everyone I mentioned the last few chapters. Okay, now remember 10 reviews!**


	12. Chapter 11: Nate vs Charlie

**AN: First of all I appreiate every one of you who reviewed. It warms my heart to know people like my story. And I am so so sorry that I didn't update sooner. I have been busy with getting ready for school and everything. Again I am sorry. Last I need 9 reviews for an update.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

"Dad" I called again as I walked down the stairs.

"In the kitchen, Bells" Charlie called from the kitchen. I walked in with Edward less than an inch behind me. Charlie looked up when he noticed Edward's presences. "What can I do for you" Charlie's voice was automatically gruffer.

I hesitated, was I too late to back out. I almost laughed to myself, I wasn't afraid of vampires or werewolves but I was afraid of telling my dad an important event that happened years ago. Edward's soft nudge brought me back to reality.

"Sit down, Charlie" Charlie raised an eyebrow. I was too nervous to care that I addressed him by his first name instead of dad. Charlie did as I instructed. I sat down across from him and Edward sat down next to me, holding my hand under the table.

"Bells, you're sweating bullets. You are late making dinner, I heard you got in trouble with the principal today and several people have told me that you ran out of school on Friday" Charlie listed all my recent faults. Wait! He knew I ran out of school early on Friday?

"You knew?" I whispered

"I didn't press it, Bella, because I figured it was something like a fight with Edward or something" Charlie was nervous under my accusation

"Do you know why I left early?" I asked trying with plenty of effort to keep my voice even.

"No." Charlie's eyes shot straight to Edward.

"It's not Edward, dad. It's" I was having trouble getting the name out. Edward squeezed my hand sympathetically. It was hard to tell Edward, but Charlie. My dad, whose absence in my life was the only thing from him I could rely on until a few years ago?

"Who is it, Bells?" Charlie demanded

"It's Nate!" I sounded out of breath

There was a beat of silence then Charlie was asking questions quicker than I thought was humanly possible. "The new kid Nate? Nate Carter? Is he really your age? I thought he was a little old for you? When did you meet him? He's only been in town for less than a week, you know? How could he have caused you trouble yet? Did he hurt you? I swear to god if he did-

"Relax, Charlie!" I yelled over his constant ranting

"Don't call me Charlie, Isabella!" Charlie yelled, still angry

"Well then don't call me Isabella, Charlie!" I shot back

"Isabella's your name!" Charlie pointed out

"And Charlie's yours!" I yelled back, jumping on my feet. I was vaguely aware of Edward's hand on my waist trying to pull me down.

"My name is Charles!" That was the best he could come up with?

"Oh, Okay! Do you want me to call that?!" I yelled, only half aware of what I was saying

"I'm your father!" He stood up too

"And I'm your daughter" Instead of yelling I said each word through clenched teeth, slow and distinct

"Okay!" Edward cut in. "Let's sit down"

"Don't order me around in my own house!" Charlie glared at Edward.

"Back to the point, DAD" I emphasized the word dad.

"Which is?" Charlie was obviously getting impatient.

I motioned for him to sit down. It would probably not make a difference but at least I tried some method to help make this easier for him to hear and not shoot Nate. Or me. I didn't dwell on my thoughts very long though.

Charlie sat down, as did I and took a deep breath in. "What did this Nate kid do to make you run out of school, Bella" Charlie asked me more calmly.

"He did something. But you weren't there for it." Charlie raised an eyebrow.

"Of course I wasn't there for it, Bells, I was working" Charlie stated suspiciously

"Not recently." I corrected his misinterpretation. He waited for me to say more. Edward squeezed my hand under the table, encouraging me to say more. "I met Nate when I lived in Phoenix." I said quietly

"What?" Was all Charlie could come up with to say.

"Yeah" I stated actwardly. I believe there's nothing more actward than having to tell your father whom you had sex with.

"And? Why did you run away from him?" Charlie was getting impatient again

I sighed. I might as well just spit it out. "I met Nate when I was thirteen and became friends with him very quickly." I started, looking down at the table. "Nate was very sweet and when I was fifteen I started dating him. On New Years Eve, we had sex" I looked at Charlie now. A vein in his forehead popped out. I was a little worried about him having a stroke, but I put that in the back of my mind.

"About a month later, I told Nate I was pregnant." I cut to the chase already, wanting it to be over, I leaned against Edward for support. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me tighter into his side. Charlie started coughing. I started to stand up, but Edward just pulled me down.

"Give him a minute" Edward whispered in my ear.

After a few seconds Charlie calmed down enough to stop coughing, but not enough to get rid of his bewildered expression.

"I want to meet this damn kid!" Charlie demanded

"Hold on, Charlie, you haven't heard the full story yet." I tried to reason with him. I didn't want Nate to join the party with Charlie yet. If there's anything about Nate I know it's that he doesn't hold back. Especially if he is being jumped on, which I have a feeling Charlie will do.

"There's more, Isabella?" Charlie didn't seem to notice that I had called him Charlie before. "How is there more than _that_?"

"Nate had a drug addict brother-

"All great! Now he's got a bad family. I want you to stay away from him, Bella" Charlie interrupted me. I pretended I didn't notice.

"Nate's brother crashed into the side of our car a month after our daughter was born and killed her!" I shot at my dad. The look on his face was like someone had set him on fire. I was surprised I could keep my voice steady or that I wasn't crying.

It was silent for 30 seconds then like a bolt of lightning Charlie shot up out of his chair and he was by the phone. "What is this kid's number, Isabella?" Charlie demanded, using my full name.

"No, dad! You can't call him!" I yelled. I was vaguely aware of Edward's arm wrapping around my waist to keep me from shooting out of my chair.

"I'll do whatever I damn well want to do" Charlie growled

"Except calling Nate!" I argued back

"I'll just go over to see him in person if you don't give me his number right this second Isabella!" Charlie yelled, again with the full name. "It won't be hard to find out where he lives. He's new in town, meaning he's the town gossip. And I'm the police chief on top of that." Charlie pointed out smugly.

I sighed. I'd rather Nate come here than Charlie go there. I dialed the number into the landline and handed Charlie the phone, glaring at him. "Here" I said crossly.

Charlie waited for someone to pick up. "Hello, is Nate there?" Charlie asked, still angry. "Hello, Nate…. Yes, this is Bella's father Charlie" Charlie glared at me. "…Do you mind coming over here?" Charlie asked, obviously not taking no for an answer. "Why thank you, Nathaniel. How kind of you." Charlie replied sourly. Nate was going to be in a bad mood. His full name wasn't Nathaniel. It was Nathann. Nate probably didn't feel the need to correct him, sensing Charlie's bad mood.

Charlie hung up the phone and threw it at me, missing and Edward catching it before it could hit me in the head. My dad and me glared at each other for a few minutes. Edward was obviously actward in the middle of our fight. Charlie walked out of the dinning room and into the entryway to wait for Nate.

"Please, try to calm down, love" Edward begged in my ear. "Charlie's angry enough for 3 people"

"Well, let him get angry. Let him get angrier, 'cause trust me. He will" I made no point of keeping my voice down. "Trust me, it's not going to get any better once Nate gets here. If anything, it'll get a lot worse." I said icily. Part of me knew I shouldn't be yelling at Edward.

Edward must have heard Nate's truck. It's not like that thing is quiet. It's ten times nicer than mine and it's a lot louder than mine too. Nate likes that though. He likes people knowing he's coming when he's coming. I briefly thought about the day before, our conversation with Mike at lunch:

"_Does this guy have a nice car?" I had asked_

"_Yep" Mike replied_

"_What kind?" I was curious_

"_A huge, expensive Chevy truck." Mike said_

"_Oh that's a turn off," Tyler had added_

"_Why" I asked. _

_"They have a small back seat!" Mike said and then laughed_

At the time I had laughed with everyone else. I occurred to me that that conversation had been the last normal one before I realized Nate was in Forks. And boy did I know that the seats on a Chevy truck were uncomfortable. Not because I had one. Let's just say Nate and I spent a lot of time in that truck, doing….things, not very long after Novalee was conceived.

"This is about to get a whole lot more interesting." I said as I wiggled out of Edward arms, grabbing one of his hands.

I walked out of the dinning room and leaned against the doorframe of the entryway/hall, with Edward arms wrapped around my waist.

"Are you sure you want to do this, dad?" I asked one last time

Charlie gave me an exasperated look. "I think I'll manage an idiotic scared teenage boy" Charlie rolled his eyes. I raised one eyebrow but did press it. Nate didn't exactly fit the description of scared. Maybe idiotic though.

Nate rang the doorbell just then. Charlie unlocked the door. "Come on in, kid" Charlie's voice was gruff and unfriendly.

Nate came in, looking uncomfortable. He spotted me; I waved as Edward mimicked the motion as well. Nate waved to both of us. Charlie seemed ignorant to our exchange. I don't even think he realized that Edward and me were in the room anymore.

"Sit down" Charlie commanded, walking to the couch, Nate sitting opposite of Charlie, in the recliner facing him. "Now let's talk" Charlie said gruffly.

Nate almost cracked a smile. "Talk about what, Charlie?" Nate asked

"My daughter. We all know about your baby, so now we're talking about mine." Charlie growled. "And you don't get to call me Charlie" Charlie added angry

"Oh, so I'm deprived of that privilege?" Nate asked sarcastically. "What do you prefer, _dude_?" Edward chuckled behind me

"Now listen hear. You will not refer to me with any funny names. You got it, Nathaniel?" Charlie used his false interoperation of Nate's full name.

"My name is Nate. Nathan is my full name, so stop using your funny ass names, man, you got it?" Nate bickered back. "So what do I refer to you as? Absent officer? Neglectful chief of Police?" Nate threw out random suggestions

"You will refer to me as Chief Swan" Charlie demanded. "And for your information I am there for my people of this town" Charlie pointed out crossly

"You're there for everyone in a small town, but never for your own daughter?" Nate asked just as angry. How did I know this was going to get ugly? Oh wait, because Nate was involved.

"I am there for my daughter. Thanks for your concern though" Charlie said icily. Nate rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything. "Now" Charlie said moving on. "Obviously, we all know that you got Bella pregnant. And that she neglected to tell me" Charlie made a face. "So let me ask a few questions. Did you ever plan on marrying her?"

"What?" Nate made a face, not sure what to say.

"Answer the question." Charlie demanded, smug that he had made Nate have a loss for words.

"It wasn't in our instant plans." Nate mumbled after a minute.

"Ha!" Charlie laughed at Nate. "Let me explain something to you. Renee found out she was pregnant with Bella and a week later I proposed. That's what your supposed to do. Marry the girl you got pregnant. But you weren't planning on doing that, were you Nathann?" Charlie was still smug.

I knew the intention of Charlie saying that was to make Nate feel bad but instead it made me feel bad. Because it reminded me something that I always knew. I had screwed both my parents' lives up. No matter how much they had done wrong by me, neither of them deserved having to pay a punishment this big. The punishment being me.

Because of me they got married. Because of me Renee had to make extra money to pay for me and had to go to parent teacher conferences at my schools, she couldn't go on dates whenever she wanted too and had to care for something that's was an accident. The accident being me.

And Charlie. Charlie wasn't rich. He was very low/middle class. He didn't have much money. And because of me he had to pay child support for 17 years, until I moved in with him. Part of me always thought he only wanted me at all because he never got over Renee. The same reason I thought he resented me. But he had it easier than Renee at least. Well, not that Renee really stepped up. She had my grandparents take care of me, until they died, whenever she didn't feel like being a mother for a while. She didn't pay attention to me sometimes then others she hovered like a helicopter and was all nosy.

"What are you doing in Forks?" Charlie moved on to a simpler question

"I could ask you the same thing," Nate gained his attitude back.

"I have lived in this town since I was born. My parents have lived in this town since they were born." Charlie said pointly

"Well then let me rephrase for you. What are you doing with your daughter?" Nate said as if he was asking a two year old.

"Being her father!" Charlie yelled back

"Why weren't you being her father sixteen? Until a year and a half ago you weren't in her life." Nate yelled.

"I was so!" Charlie yelled, but you could tell he didn't believe himself or did anyone else.

"Then why did Princess say, every time someone asked her about you, that she didn't really know her father? That you resented her!" Nate shouted, standing up.

"Princess?" Charlie was obviously confused

Edward's arms unwrapped from around my waist. "Did you really say that?" Edward asked me

"Yes" I said quickly. I was too absorbed in Nate and Charlie's conversation to pay much attention to what Edward asked me.

"I never resented Bella!" Charlie shouted.

"Whatever" Nate said as he started to walk towards the door.

"You're leaving? I hope it wasn't something I said." Charlie said, making it clear he didn't mean it or cared about what he said to Nate.

Nate pivoted unexpectedly. "What are you doing anyway? Why are you all of a sudden trying to be daddy of the year?" Nate challenged

"That would be your business?" Charlie raised his eyebrows. "Why are you talking to my daughter? What are your intentions with my daughter?"

"Again, I could say the same thing about you." Nate said coldly. "You haven't been around since the first year of her life. And now you decide it's your business if I decide to hang out with Bella?"

"Yes, it is!" Charlie said still angry

"I've spent more time with her in five years than you have her entire life! I know more about than you do!" Nate yelled. "Yeah, I might have gotten your daughter pregnant and I didn't get down on one knee right away. I might have never married Bella. I might have married her if Novalee had stayed alive." Charlie's face was shocked when he said Novalee. "Yeah. That was her name. Our baby. Her name Novalee. And you know what? _I _would have been there for Novalee if she were still around. At least I would have been there for my kid." Nate said pointly

"Hey! Renee chose to leave. She didn't contact me until she sent me divorce papers. And I had offered to let Bella live with me before but she didn't want to." Charlie was steaming. Part of me worried again that he was going to have a stroke. He wasn't that much older than Harry Clearwater.

"I see. You offered to let your daughter live with you, but she chose not to and missed out because she didn't take you up on your offer. I bet that offer made Bella feel very special. Or maybe it made her feel like such a burden or like a brat and so unwanted that she just refused to have anything to do with you until she had to!" Nate yelled the last part.

I knew it was wrong, but part of me felt pretty smug. Charlie was thinking that he would yell at Nate and make him uncomfortable but it seemed to be the other way around now. Charlie was hearing from Nate what I always thought, but never had the nerve to say.

"Is that what Bella said?" Charlie asked

"Is that what Bella said? In not so many words, yes! That's what she said! But this is what I'm saying now, I happen to know something about girls. Your daughter specifically, girls don't want to feel like a burden nor do they want an offer. They only want one thing. To be loved! And I'm sure, judging by your expression, you want that too." Nate paused looking at Charlie, and then he started back up again. Nate shook his head. "_You walked out on the best thing you could have had!"_ Nate pointed to me. "Don't you dare just stand here and hurt Bella again! You already hurt her enough by not being around and neglecting Bella her whole life. Bye!" Nate didn't glance at Charlie as he walked out the front door.

I could feel Edward give me a questioning stare but all I did was I shake my head. "You should just left Nate alone, like I told you to." I said in an even voice. Charlie turned and looked at me. I continued, "Because you are never going to be able to get what he just said out of your head." I said in the same even voice.

Then I walked out the front door.

**AN: Okay. I need 9 reviews to update again. Please!**


	13. Chapter 12: Parental Issues

**AN: So I had planned to have this up sooner but I'm just now finishing it. I have two new bunnies so I maybe have been slightly distracted. LOL. 5 reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing twilight related!**

I walked out the door and straight to the car. I paused after I got in the driver seat. I realized I left Edward inside. I was about to go back, much to my dismay, when I realized that Edward was next to me in the passenger seat. I sighed; glad I didn't have to go back to face Charlie.

"Where are we going?" Edward asked, as I start the ignition in my truck.

"To catch up to Nate," I stated blankly, pulling out of the driveway.

"You know where he is?" Edward asked, bewildered. I realized it must be frustrating for him to be around not one but two people that had secrete minds'.

"Nate loves parking lots," I again stated blankly. I didn't tell Edward how I knew he loved parking lots. He raised one eyebrow. I pretended I didn't notice.

I turned my attention back to the road. I turned and looked through every parking lot that I came across. Nate couldn't have gotten far, he had drove away only 2 minutes before I got out the door.

"There he is, Bella" Edward pointed to an empty parking lot in front of some beaten up old shop with a bench in front of it, with Nate and his truck alone in the parking lot. I pulled in next to his truck. He didn't notice. Nate was pacing a few yards away.

I hoped out of my truck while Edward stayed. I was eternally grateful for my boyfriend all of a sudden because he understood that I needed to talk to Nate alone. Not that he couldn't hear us but Nate didn't know that.

I ran up behind Nate. He seemed surprised, like he didn't hear me.

"Hey" I said, breathless from running.

"Hey" Nate seemed like he was waiting for something.

"What?" I asked

"Aren't you gonna yell at me?" Nate asked, curious

"For what?"

"For telling you dad off." Nate said it as if I should have already guessed. "I mean, I am really not sorry for telling him off, but I expected you to be angry. It's not like I planned it, I was just going with my instincts, you know." He rambled on

"I'm not mad" I assured him

"You're not?" He asked surprised

"No, I actually want to thank you. You gave Charlie what he's been asking for." I smiled. "I wish I had the guts to say that. Thank you. You told Charlie exactly what I was thinking"

"Anytime" He winked, I laughed and rolled my eyes. I knew he meant it. He wouldn't hesitate to speak his mind to Charlie again, knowing it bothered him. Nate looked at something behind me.

I turned towards my truck, where Edward was sitting pretending to be fiddling with the radio. I knew that he was listening but Nate obviously didn't.

"Is your boyfriend gonna come out or sit in that truck all day?" Nate asked.

Edward looked up. I motioned for Edward to come out, and he slid out the passenger seat. I looked up at Nate desperately hoping he wouldn't make a bad impression on Edward. They seemed to be fine, back at my house. Edward finally made his way to us, at a human pace.

Edward and Nate eyed each other skeptically. Not unfriendly but purely curious. I was moments like this I wished I had Edward's gift, to hear people's thoughts. It would be nice to know what they were think as they just stare at each other blankly. Finally Edward broke the silence.

"I don't think we formally met, I'm Edward Cullen." Edward stuck his hand out slowly, unsure of himself. Nate stared at it for a moment, like he did a couple hours ago with Alice, and then he accepted it. Again, like this morning with Alice I breathed a sigh of relief. This may not become another Edward vs. Jacob relationship.

"I'm Nate Carter. Of course I bet you know that though." Nate said friendly. Edward raised an eyebrow, how curious he must be with not being able to read his mind.

I would have to give him pointers later about how to act human without already knowing what the person you are talking to is thinking. Of course he's had practice with me but that different.

"I'm new. The center of gossip, you know?" Nate explained

Edward chuckled. "Yes, I moved down here a few years ago from Alaska, with my adopted family."

"Oh yeah I heard from Bella. So do you really not remember your birth parents?" Nate asked bluntly.

I sighed, leave it to Nate to come up with the most random questions at the weirdest times. I knew Edward wouldn't be offended though, obviously, he didn't mind as far as I'm concerned, talking about his birth parents.

"I remember very vague things about them. Carlisle and Esme have my parents for as long as I can remember. My biological parents died long ago." Edward explained, leaving out _how_ long ago his parents died.

"I'm sorry, man" Nate apologized

Edward chuckled again at Nate's bluntness. "It's quite alright." He spoke.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't judge me by what you saw at Princess- I mean Bella's" Nate corrected himself "house"

"It's fine, I know you refer to her a Princess." Edward told him. "And why would I judge you?" He raised an eyebrow

"Because I told her dad off. That's the first time I met him, you know" Nate explained

"It seemed like Charlie was asking for it." Edward stated blankly

Nate laughed, "You bet he was"

I was glad Nate and Edward got along. To be honest with myself, I was worried that they would have a feud. That would have made it difficult to be around. A fight is really the last thing I think my life needs right now but it's probably the exactly what I'm going to receive. From everyone else at least. I briefly wondered how people were going to be acting at school tomorrow. I also wondered how Edward would react. Would he be angry or amused? I somehow doubted Edward would be amused with people calling me a slut. I also wondered how Nate would react. Was school going to get any worse? Could it get any worse? That was something I didn't know.

Nate and Edward were talking about something irrelevant now, like sports or classes or something. "What time do you guys have to leave?" Nate asked after a mintue, motioning towards the sky which was now dark. It was getting late.

"Doesn't really matter for me. What about you, Bella?" Edward asked. I shrugged

"I'm not sure if I'm going home" I whispered knowing both could hear me.

"Bella," Edward started "Where else are you going?"

I looked at him with pleading eyes. "Can I please spend the night at your house?" I all but begged. I was desperate not to go home and face Charlie again.

"Of course, Bella. You can stay with me whenever you want." Edward put his arm around me and pulled me into his side. I looked up at Nate, who was looking thoughtfully down.

"I'm sorry, Isabel" Nate apologized again

"Why?" Edward and me asked in a union.

"Because I told your dad off. I'm a big reason why you don't want to go home right now" Nate made an assumption. As true as his assumption might be Charlie had to have someone tell him exactly what Nate told him.

"It was necessary," I whispered looking down. Edward's arm gave me a squeeze.

"It was unpleasant" Nate said under his breath. I'm not really sure if I was supposed to hear it but I did.

"Welcome to my world." I said with more volume than before. Both Nate and Edward looked like they wanted to cheer me up.

"Well, you're living with your dad now. So he's kind of making an effort, right? Better late than never" Nate said in a bizarrely optimistic, for him at least, voice.

"I used to think so," I said, in a quiet, sad voice.

"And you don't now?" Edward sounded confused as he led me over to the bench in front of the closed down store. Nate followed

"I don't trust him" I said my voice was barely above a whisper. "I mean, it's not that Charlie all of a sudden wants me. I had to force myself on him to move to Forks, in the first place. Believe me, when Renee wanted me to move to Florida with her and Phil, Charlie was first in line to pack my bags." I explained, louder now.

I realized I don't think I have ever shared this with anyone. Sure, I told Nate and Francia and Ricky and all my other friends how I felt about my parents but I had never told anyone to this extent what living with my parents felt like to me. And I had not talked about it at all since I moved to Forks.

"I'm sorry" Edward and Nate said together. Nate reached out to squeeze my hand.

"I know what it's like to resent your parents" Nate said after a beat of silence.

"You do?" I asked in a small voice. Nate nodded

"My mother worries about everything; money, work, bills, food, cleaning, cars, shopping, friends, time, and my dad. _Especially_ my dad. She worries 'bout everything but her kids. And my dad is an alcoholic. He never notices what we ever do. He only sometime pays attention to what my mom does. As you can probably guess, us kids are rarely a priority. And when they do think of one of us, it's normally one of the other four." Nate explained. I noticed, and I'm sure Edward did too, that he said four instead of five. No doubt he was leaving out Ryann.

"Why do people want kids, if they don't want to be burdened?" Edward said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I leaned into him.

"That's a really good question." Nate answered Edward. "I have been wondering since the day I turned three" Nate added

Edward and I gave him a questioning look. "It's when my dad started drinking." Nate explained. We understood after that.

"My dad used to take me fishing" I said after another minute of silence. Nate and Edward looked at me. "It was just the two of us until I was six. And I hated it. It was boring, it was cold and I smelled like fish for days after." I laughed. "But at least I got to spend time with him. It made up for a lot of his absence. Then when I was seven my dad invited Billy Black and his daughters. They were nice and it was fine. Then around the time when I turned eleven he just stopped." I fought to keep my voice leveled, "He just stopped coming around one day, like I died or something. My friends would ask me about my dad and Nate" I looked at Nate from the comfort of Edward right arm. "Nate, you, wanted to meet my father when we first started dating. When I told everyone where my father lived they always asked 'what's he like?' and I didn't have a clue!" My voice broke on the last five words. Edward's arm rubbed up and down my shoulder and Nate squeezed my hand again. I looked down at my lap.

"_What did I do, that was so horrible, that my own father couldn't even love me?_" My voice finally broke and I could feel the tears coming.

**AN: Aww. It's sad. Sorry it's so short. I believe the next one will also be short too but I'm not positive. Because it's so short, I'll try to get it up very soon but I can't make any promises. Because it's so short I'm only going to ask for 5 reviews. But if you want to give me more feel free to. LOL.**


	14. Chapter 13: Town of Forks Knows

**AN: Okay. I have school starting tomorrow so I am probably not going to be able to update as often as I'd like to. But I will still try to update and write in any of my free time. But just don't be surprised if it's a little longer than it has been. Lol. But because I love you guys so much, I will make an extra special effort. But reviews never hurt. In fact, I'll update quicker if I get 10 for this chapter. LOL**

**Declaimer: I don't own anything.**

I refused to cry again. After all I had put both of them through it was the least I could do. To spare them the pain of watching me break down. I knew both of them hated when girls cry and especially me. They both feel helpless and out of control.

I pondered the thought of Edward and Nate being similar. I mean, they are both protective, they are both stubborn, they are both the two emotionally strongest men I know, they are both kind and caring, they are both hardworking and they are the two men I love more than anything in the world combined. But they were very different people too. I'm not going to even begin listing the differences because there are too many.

After my talk with Nate and Edward, I hugged Nate fiercely, and then was scooped up in Edward's arms. I didn't realize how tired I was until we were in the car. We watched Nate drive away as Edward buckled me into the passenger seat and then got into the driver's. We rode in silence the whole way home. Not an actward silence like it is with Charlie but a comfortable one. When Edward pulled into his driveway I was already half asleep.

I was glad that Edward remembered that I didn't want to go back to Charlie's house. I doubt I could face my father now, after walking out for hours, and siding with a guy who knocked up his daughter and then told him off. I smiled tiredly, at the thought

Edward chuckled at my facial expression, which by my guess and his face, looked like an idiot. Wordlessly he ran full on vampire speed to my door and scooped me out of the old rusty truck. He carried me into the house and up the stairs not stopping to talk to anyone. I realized that Emmett and Jasper and Carlisle probably now knew about Novalee and Nate.

I blushed involuntary. I knew it was stupid to be embarrassed about everyone knowing a secret in a family that had no secrets from each other, but I was. I had no idea what their reaction was and had no intention of finding out tonight. I somehow knew that it was going to be different though. I would have never expected Rosalie to be kind to me but since I told her she was.

I wondered briefly what Esme thought of my situation. She had been through something similar but still different. She was different than me. Stronger. She probably handled it better than me. Well, after she jumped off a cliff.

I was kind of glad I didn't know her back then. Because if I did know Esme back when Novalee died I may have gotten the idea of killing myself. I'm glad I was so naïve back then that suicide never occurred to me. It would have hurt too many people. Nate, Francia, Ricky, Allie, Casey, Gwen, Briee, Taylor, Dustin, Mason, and Tommy.

I thought in the back of my mind about my parents. They would care. No matter how mad I was at my dad or how little I've had to do with my mom lately, I knew they love me. And I do love them too, as imperfect as they are, they are still my parents.

Edward laid me on his bed and kissed my forehead. "Are you alright, love?" Edward asked me

"Yeah" I whispered. "Why?"

"You've been lost in thought the whole way home" Edward smiled a crooked smile. "Though I found the expression on your face adorable" He added casually

"I was just thinking," I mumbled

"About?" Edward prompted

"Everything" I sighed and sat up, more awake now. Edward nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. Something was bothering him and he clearly wasn't happy with the answer I gave him. If it made Edward happy to hear me explain myself, I would. "I was thinking about…." I hesitated "Suicide" I said in a voice nothing above a whisper but Edward's head flew up and his eyes were alarmed.

"What?!" Edward exclaimed. I realized how wrong my words could be taken.

"No! No, not now. But I was thinking about, well maybe. Back when I lost Novalee. If I would have thought of it, well I'm not sure if I would have been able to refuse it." I explained. Edward startled facial expression didn't falter. "Edward, honey, calm down." I said, and then laughed nervously.

"You wouldn't have….You ..Couldn't." Edward stumbled. "Promise me, Bella, promise me that you would never do that!"

"I promise I will never commit suicide." I vowed.

"Good" Edward breathed a sigh of relief. He then scooted from the edge of the bed facing me, where he was before to sitting right next to me. He took my face in his hands and kissed my in such a way that it made my head spin. Not that I was complaining. After a few seconds of his amazing kissing he pulled away, cradling my face still. "Don't ever do that me again, Isabella." He pronounced my full name perfectly.

"Do what?" I asked. He was over reacting to something I was thinking.

"Make me imagine a world where you didn't excise." Edward informed. "It's my epitome of hell" I rolled my eyes.

"You over reacted, Edward" I said in a mono tone

"Did I? If the situation was reversed would you think I over reacted," Edward raised an eyebrow

"…No but that's different" I said after a minute, trying to think of a legitimate excuse and coming up blank.

"Please, explain Bella. I'd love to hear this" He sounded sarcastic

"Well, I didn't know you back then" It was the best excuse I could come up with.

Edward sighed. "I'm sorry, Bella, I guessed I over reacted. It just scared me to think of you, cold, pale, unfeeling and unmoving." Edward shuttered at the thought.

"I shouldn't have told you," I said in a quiet voice.

"No, Bella, please. I love to hear what your thinking, it just scares me sometimes" Edward's eyes were pleading. I sighed and laid my head back down on the pillow. I fought sleeping for as long as I could.

"This bed's really comfy," I said randomly

Edward chuckled. "I'm glad you think so."

"Why did you it get?" I asked, though I had an idea already. Instead of saying anything Edward trailed his hand down my side from the top of my head to my waist then back up. When he reached my face he stopped and stroked it for a few minutes.

"Take a wild guess" He smiled widely

I rolled my eyes. "I hate it when you spend money on me" I complained unnecessarily. We had already had this argument quite a few times. As always he gave me the answer he always gave me.

"Well you're worth it, so I'm going to continue on doing it" Edward said, I grumbled but didn't say anything else on the subject.

I remembered a few minutes ago when his face looked like something was bothering him. He had the expression back.

"Edward" I mumbled, "What's wrong?" I asked

"Nothing, angel" He said quickly, picking me up in one arm and tucking me under the covers.

I laid down on the pillow he provided me. "I want to know," I demanded.

Edward sighed, giving in. "I just can't get out of my head that you told Nate all this stuff about your parents but you never told me" He whispered. I felt immediately guilty,

I looked away. "I'm sorry," I mumbled after a moment

"Will you tell me why, Bella? Please?" Edward begged

I sighed now and sat up, as did he. I looked down at my hands in my lap, unable to look at him in the eyes as I told him this. "You family is so…perfect. You have great parents and a bunch of siblings…with equal attention." I paused, organizing my thoughts. "I just…I wanted to tell you I had a good family too. Nate and all my other friends in Phoenix, they were there in one of the worst times of my life with my parents. So I told them and plus they had screwed up family too. I just didn't want you to think that I came from some crappy family while you came from a wonderful one. I didn't want to ruin your happiness." I finished my explanation. I looked at Edward. He was looking off into space, like he was a million miles away.

"Are you saying Bella that you didn't tell me because you didn't think I wanted to know?" Edward asked, still not looking at me. I nodded, knowing he could see it. "Oh, Bella." Edward said, now facing me again, "Bella, listen to me. I never want you to think you can't come to me. You can tell me anything! I thought you knew that?" Edward pulled me into his lap.

"I do, Edward, I do. I will tell you everything from now on." I mumbled into his chest. I felt him kiss the top of my head. I was getting drowsy again. "I love you," I mumbled before shutting my eyes and letting sleep overcome me.

"I love you too, my perfect angel" Was the last thing I heard.

When I woke up, I felt someone touching my head. I looked up and saw Edward playing with my hair. He smiled his crooked smile.

"Good morning, love" Edward greeted me.

"What time is it?" I asked

"Five thirty. I thought you might want to get up considering you need to be at school at seven sharp." Edward pointed out

"How did you know?" I asked, sitting up

"Alice" Edward said blankly

I nodded then got up and walked to the bathroom. I looked and just as I suspected Alice had supplied the shower with my strawberry shampoo and conditioner. I turned the water on and undressed. As I stepped into the shower I thought about my hell of a day yesterday. I wondered if it was going to get better or worse today. Somehow I didn't think it could get any worse but I thought it might. I don't know just a feeling.

As I stepped out of the shower I saw an outfit laid out at the other end of the bathroom and a big fluffy towel. I wanted to believe it was Alice who put them in here but I wondered for a moment if it was Edward. I didn't ponder it for too long. The outfit was obviously picked out by Alice. It was a matching plaid bra and underwear, ripped up skinny jeans and a blue tank top.

Once I was dressed and dry, I walked back to Edward's room where Edward sat in the middle of the bed. He looked districted so I decided to sneak up on him. I ran from the doorway and jump on top of his chest. He jumped up in surprise and luckily caught me in his arms. I giggled

"Did I scare you?" I taunted

"Yes. You scared me that you were going to get hurt." Edward replied, the shock had not yet left his face but now there was sarcasm too.

"Or maybe you just don't want to admit that you're terrified!" I laughed again. Edward looked down on me and his facial expression had changed completely. Instead of shock and sarcasm, it was adoration and amused.

"Yes, Bella, I'm terrified of a scary sexy monster." Edward teased. I raised my eyebrow. Did he just call me sexy? I doubted anyone found me that attractive. He scooped me up in his arms and swung me up so I was lying over his shoulder. He ran down the stairs at vampire speed and I had to shut my eyes. No way I could be lying upside-down on my stomach and not get sick.

When we reached the first floor I jumped down. Edward helped me into my coat. "I better get to school" I said as I pecked his lips. He caught my waist.

"I can drive you," He offered

"No, really Edward, it's fine. Besides it would look weird to everyone else if you drove me to school for my morning detention."

"I don't care what everyone else thinks" Edward exclaimed

I kissed his lips again. "I'll be fine," I said as I walked out the door and to my truck. I hopped in and started the ignition.

As I drove to school, I again, worried about what kind of reception I was going to get today. I tried not to dwell for too long on it. I also saw that I was almost out of gas. I pulled into an empty parking lot. Chelsea was the only one here besides the principal, who walks to school, and Chelsea doesn't have here license yet. _Too bad_, I thought to myself_, I could have keyed her car._

I walked into the building and walked to the office. Chelsea was waiting in one of the chairs. I walked over and sat next to her. She snickered.

"Didn't think you were going to show" Chelsea said, still smirking

"Excuse me?" I asked

"I mean after all that you've been through" She rolled her eyes and used a fake sugary voice. What was she talking about?

"What?"

She laughed without humor. "Where's Nate?" Chelsea asked, faking curiosity, "You two are bed buddies, right?" My mouth fell open as she said the words.

"What?" I mouthed

Chelsea laughed but before she could say anything else Mr. Greene came out. He called me back first, which I was grateful for. I still couldn't get out of my head the fact that Chelsea somehow knew about Nate and me.

"Sit down, Miss Swan." Mr. Greene's voice was stern. I did as I was told. "Now, I was very surprised to find that the chief's daughter was fighting but from what my sources said you were provoked so I'm not going to suspend you like I should." He finished

"Thank you" I whispered

"You're welcome. You may head out now. Take care of yourself." Mr. Greene said. Well, that was short. I stood up and started to walk out the door, when I heard Mr. Green mumbled, "It seems you've been through a lot."

As I walked out Chelsea glared at me, I just hurried out of there as fast as I could. I decided now was the perfect time to put gas in my car. I ran to my truck for once not falling down on the way. I jumped in the truck and start the ignition. I sped out of there, reaching my trucks internal speed limit. The nearest gas station was five minutes away normal speed. I drove as fast as I could not thinking before driving. I'm surprised that I didn't cause a wreck.

How did Chelsea guess right? What did she mean 'after all you've been through'? What the hell was that supposed to mean? How did she know about Nate and me? Did she know about Novalee? I had no idea.

And what about Mr. Greene? He knows too! How?

By this time I had pulled into the gas station. I walked up to the pump and started to put gas in the car when I felt someone looking at me. I looked over and saw Mrs. Webber staring. I blushed and looked away. Did she know? Then I spotted Kelci in her mom's mini van and her mom, Mary, getting gas across the lot. They were also looking at me. Did they know? I finished putting gas in my car and paid. While I was paying I looked around. There were a few citizens of Forks I didn't know particularly well but they were pointing and talking about me. I'm absolutely sure. Why? Why did everyone know? _How _did everyone know?

The only people I had told were my family and the Cullens' who were like family. So why did everyone else know? I looked at the gas station attendant. It was Chad, Janelle's older brother. He was twenty. I'd met him a few times; from what I could tell he seemed very nice. Chad was giving me a pity look. I almost growled. I hated knowing people felt sorry for me. It made me feel pathetic. And no doubt I knew exactly what he was feeling sorry about. I got back in my car and took off as fast I could, back to school.

I listed off people in my head that I had told. Obviously Nate knew. There was everyone in Phoenix that I went to school with but I couldn't really count everyone. I started with Renee, Phil, my aunt Pam, my cousins Lucas and Mee Mee, my two uncles Milo and Troy and Phil's dad Jake. That did it for family. I told my ten best friends in Phoenix, Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme. And then last person I told was Charlie.

I slammed on my brakes. That was it! Charlie? CHARLIE! I couldn't breathe for a moment and I had no idea one so ever where I was. I slammed on the gas and did an illegal U turn. What's the worst that could happen right now? A cop pulls me over and takes me to see my dad that I already was looking for. I sped my way home and slammed on my brakes when I pulled into the driveway, so hard that it gave me whiplash.

I looked over as I got out of the car; Charlie's cruiser was still in the driveway. I ran up the steps into the house and slammed the door open.

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't watch my life fall apart anymore. And worst of all, my dad is the person to expose my secret. I was positive. I never should have told him anything. I should have known what would happen. Angry tears leaked out of my eyes but I didn't care at this moment. I held in all my anger for too long and now it was exploding out of me. I shook my head furiously back and forth, trying to clear it. But it didn't work. My breathing became uneven and I could take any of the crap I was getting anymore.

I then I did something I had done in years. I screamed my loudest ear-piercing scream that made my throat burn.

**AN: Okay, so you wonderful people doubled my standards for the last chapter so I' m going to ask for 10 reviews for me to update but it may take me longer to write a decent chapter. But maybe it wont. But either way it'll be quicker if I can get 10 reviewers.**


	15. Chapter 14: Steaming Anger

**AN: Okay, I have been working on this for about a few days now but never finished it until right now. I went back to school. So far it's been good but I have been getting a ton of homework. I know it sounds weird because it's like the second day of school but I had 3 hour long homework today. Just to warn you, Bella and Charlie a little bit are OOC in this chapter. And just so you can't say I didn't tell you ahead of time, there a little bit of bad language in the beginning. I hope you enjoy it. 7 reviews btw.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

I screamed so loud I'm actually surprised the windows didn't break. Charlie came running down the stairs. He eyes immediately shot to me.

"Bells?" He said in shock, that a scream like that could come from me.

"YOU TOLD! YOU TOLD EVERYONE! EVERYONE IN THIS _FRICKIING_ TOWN! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU! I TELL YOU MY BABY DIED AND YOU MAKE ME THE TOWN GOSSIP?" I screamed. I got right up in my dad's now purple face. I was never one to throw tantrums. Well, at least not ones that I ever let Charlie see. Trust me, I threw quite a few in Phoenix.

"Now, now Isabella. I believe you're the one who didn't tell me that you were pregnant." Charlie tried to shift the blame off of him and back to me. Yeah, like that was going to work. Haha, nice try!

"DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO MAKE ME THE BAD GUY, JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE TOLD YOU WHAT YOU HAD COMING TO YOU! AND IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT NOVALEE, NOT MINE!" I was still screaming. I felt like I could scream at Charlie for hours.

"It is not my fault!" Charlie yelled. But his yell was not half as bad as mine. I shook my head back and forth trying to clear it before I did something I would regret later. Like hit Charlie. Though I'm not entirely sure I'd regret that later, actually.

"YES, IT IS! YOU WEREN'T THERE FOR ME! YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN A DAMN LESS ABOUT ME! ALL YOU CARED ABOUT WAS YOUR JOB! THAT'S STILL ALL YOU CARE ABOUT! YOU RESENTED ME BECAUSE I REMINDED YOU OF MY MOTHER! THAT'S WHAT I USED TO TELL EVERYONE EVERYTIME THEY'D ASK ABOUT MY FATHER. EVERYTHING NATE SAID WAS TRUE, CHARLIE! _EVERYTHING_!" I paused to catch my breath. My voice still had not broken yet but I was sure it was coming. "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU THEN, DAD! REALLY, THE ONLY THING I KNEW WAS YOUR NAME AND THAT YOU WERE MY FAHTER. GENETICALLY, AT LEAST! AND YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT'S ALL I STILL KNOW ABOUT YOU!" I finished my tirade. Charlie looked like if it were possible he'd explode. If we were a cartoon he'd have steam blowing out of his ears. I wished we were a cartoon. That way I could push him off a cliff.

"Stop being so whiny, Bella!" Charlie complained. " I don't want to hear your moaning."

How could he say that? Is he retarded? I'm starting to think so.

"I lost a baby, Charlie" I said calmer now. Now I said each word calm and distinct.

"Don't call me Charlie, Isabella." Charlie yelled. I rolled my eyes; really not want to deal with this. I started walking up stairs, to my room. "And you owe me an explanation!" Charlie yelled.

I froze. Did he really think I owed him an explanation after the way he acted last night? The way he's acting now? I pivoted, which was bad considering I was still on the stairs. I stomped my way down the stairs, right back to Charlie. "I owe you shit, Charlie" I spat his name at him. Charlie's eyes got really wide as I cussed.

"What the hell did you just say to me?!" Charlie yelled. Ha! He hasn't got a clue how to really screech. I debated screaming at him again but decided against it. It really wasn't doing any favors for my voice.

"You heard me, dad" I stepped closer to him, till I was in his face even more so than before. I spit the word dad at him. If he wanted me to call him dad so badly then I would call him that. My own way.

"Don't call me…" Charlie was about to tell me not to tell me what to call him again. He couldn't really argue when I said the word dad.

"Don't call you what? Don't call you dad? What do you prefer?" I used a fake voice to resemble I didn't really care. "What about 'male man that lives in the same house as me'? Wait no that's too long," I put my hand on my chin and pretended to think. "How about 'father'?" I asked. No, tainted is a better word for what tone I used. "Don't even think about going any where the name 'daddy'. Daddy is a term of endearment. Not something that_ you _have earned." I was rambling by now.

"Don't be a smart ass" Charlie snarled.

"You just told me to get over losing my baby a minute ago and you're expecting me to be kind?" I said, bewildered

"Oh come on, Bella! It _was_ your fault!" Charlie yelled pointly but his words caught me off guard. Did he really mean it was my fault Novalee died? It couldn't be…. could it?

"Excuse me?" I whispered, unable to find my voice now

"It's your fault for getting pregnant so young, Bella. You wouldn't have to deal with this if you weren't so naïve." Charlie exclaimed.

"What!" I yelled, somehow my voice came back out

"You had sex with a guy, who would have made an unsuitable father. What were you thinking? Did you think this punk ass Nate kid, would have made a good dad? A decent dad?"

"For some reason Renee thought you'd make a decent dad to me." I pointed out. "Boy was she wrong," I chuckled darkly. I saw how my words cut through Charlie. "And I still don't get what you mean by it being my fault Novalee died." Charlie flinched as I said her name. "What? You didn't think your granddaughter had a name," I asked sarcastically

He ignored my last comment, "It's your fault. Your baby dying was your consequence for having sex too young and with the wrong guy."

"How would you know if Nate's the wrong guy?" I asked softy. "How would you know anything?" I said still very soft.

"Novalee's dying would still be your consequence." Charlie now seemed smug. How can he be smug about something like this? Was my father heartless? How come I have never seen this before?

"I didn't do anything wrong!" I shouted now. I feel like I was going to explode from my mood swings. One second I was out of control and lashing out on everyone in sight, the next moment I was calm and collected. "Besides having sex before marriage, I didn't do anything wrong and neither did my baby. Why would she die as my punishment?" I shouted again

Charlie sighed and rolled his eyes like he was talking to a five year old. "It's not all about right and wrong, Isabella. You still got pregnant before you were married, you lied about it to me and you then lost your baby. Do you mean to tell me this is just a coincidence? Not everything is all about what you did right and what you did wrong. Think about the bigger picture behind this! It's still your fault that your baby died because you never should have had sex and never should have had a baby in the first place!" Charlie stated.

I shook my head. "Everyday you tell the people in Forks about right and wrong. That's your job as a police officer, right?" I asked, pointly

"Yes. What's your point?" Charlie sounded impatient.

"Have you ever told a guy who's been mugged that it was his fault for walking alone in the street and that he should have been more careful? Or a girl who got raped, that it was all her fault because she didn't stop the attacker? Have you ever told a wife it's her fault her husband cheated on her because she didn't look close enough?" Charlie turned his head away. "Have you ever thought about telling someone who died that it's their fault?" I paused as I thought of the last scenario. "Have you ever told two parents, of any age, that it's their fault that their baby died in a car accident, where they got hit by a drunk driver, because they had a baby in the first place?" I asked angry. Charlie still wouldn't look at me, so I answered for myself. "Of course not! Because that would be wrong to say!" I threw my hands up in the air.

"You were still naïve," Charlie said after a minute. He sounded bitter.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked frustrated

"You let Nate" Charlie spit at the mention of his name. "take advantage of you"

I almost laughed at Charlie's logic. Of course, I couldn't have been the one wanting to sleep together. Because that's not how I was raised. Sarcastic much? If only Charlie knew what goes on between Edward and me. What I wanted to go on between Edward and me. I chuckled.

"You find this funny?" Charlie asked incredulously. "Listen to me, Isabella, I don't want Nate-or Edward for that matter, taking advantage of you."

I stepped closer once again, so I was in my father's face. "You think that they were taking advantage of me?" I smirked. "Let yourself chew on this one, _daddy_. I used to love Nate. AND I WANTED TO SLEEP WITH HIM! BUT EVEN MORE THAN HIM, I WANT TO SLEEP WITH EDWARD RIGHT NOW!" I shouted the ending

"Shut your mouth!" Charlie screamed back louder than before, still but not louder than me.

"I WANTED NATE!" I screamed back. I wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors called nine one one on us.

Charlie raised his hand as if he was going to slap me with the back of his hand, but instead he yelled "Shut up!"

"AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I STILL WANT EDWARD!" I yelled just as loud as before.

"Shut your mouth!" His hand still raised as if he want to hit me with it.

"I LOVE EDWARD AND I HATE YOU!" I screeched on top of my lungs so badly I thought they were going to explode. As soon as the words flew out of my mouth I ran upstairs. Only it almost looked like I was running, tripping and stomping all the same time, it was stll fast and definitely made it clear I was angry. Angrier than Charlie had ever seen me.

I ran down the small hallway into my bedroom and slammed my door shut, locking it. It wasn't until that moment that I realized I wasn't alone. I looked over and saw Edward sitting on my bed, his jaw tight, his eyes pitch black.

"Edward" I said as I flung myself at him. He caught me in his arms, of course. "What are you doing here?" I asked

"Alice had a vision of you and Charlie. She told me not to interfere because she thought you needed to yell at your father. I agree, you deserved the chance to fight back and I wanted to help you. Support you, but then I was afraid I wouldn't be able to control myself and would hurt Charlie, and I didn't want to upset you." Edward's words flew together. Because he was talking so fast that I had to concentrate hard on getting all of it.

"Are you sure it would upset me, Edward? Because I'm not sure if it actually would," I said as I buried my face into his chest.

"Maybe in a hundred years it would bother you" Edward teased.

We were silent for a minute, just sitting there content. Somehow I was still content considering I just probably had the worst fight I had ever had with Charlie. Then again, it was almost impossible to be unhappy with Edward around.

"Charlie told everyone," I mumbled, breaking the silence.

"What?" Edward seemed confused. Weren't we all?

"Charlie told everyone in Forks that I had a baby." I clarified.

Edward was still for one moment then I heard a suppressed growl.

"Now I'm sorry I didn't hurt him. Or I could have let you get a few shots in there" Edward started rambling again.

"Why? Why would he do that to me?" I whispered. "And people are immediately going to blame me not Nate, you know?" I stated, matter a fact

"Why?" Edward eyebrows pushed together

"Because I'm the girl. The girl is immediately blamed." I shrugged

"I don't understand" he was clearly lost.

I sighed. "When a girl get pregnant it's always considered the girl's fault to the public because she's the one who is pregnant. And normally the girl becomes bitter." I added at the end. I continued on, glad to talk to anybody, but Edward? That made talking about it a lot better. "Everyone's thoughts becomes 'Poor baby. Poor father.' But no not poor mother. Because they all think 'a girl should know how to take care of herself.'" I did sound pretty bitter.

"That's not true, love" Edward's velvet voice was in my ear. "It's the father fault as much as it is the girl's. It's even more the father's fault if he took advantage of the mother." Edward added on at the end.

I knew no harm was meant intentionally by the words but I hated feeling like I was helpless and naïve. Maybe I was at the time but not anymore. I wouldn't let myself be so stupid. But not because Nate tricked me but because…well honestly I never even thought about the possibility of getting pregnant. I jumped out of Edward's lap.

"Nate didn't take advantage of me!" I tried to keep my voice down the best that I could, so Charlie wouldn't know Edward was up here. Not for Charlie's sake anymore but for the Cullens'. I hoped not to bring to many of them down with me in the gossip of the town. Somehow I knew that they couldn't care less though. "I'm sick of people saying I'm stupid for not stopping Nate and that's Nate evil for getting me pregnant!"

"I didn't mean it like that, love." Edward soothed me. "Really, I don't think you're stupid by any means. In fact, just the opposite. I think you're exceptionally smart."

I sighed, realizing how wrong I was for flipping out on Edward like I did. "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to take it out on you like that. I'm just still really worked up about Charlie."

"It's completely understandable, Bella." Edward pulled me down into his arms. I happily crawled back into his lap. I snuggled into his embrace for a few minutes in silence. We were comfortable that way. One of the best things about our relationship is we don't always have to worry about filling the air or about actward silences. Suddenly I jumped up.

"What time is it?" I asked, looking for a clock but not succeeding. I silently cursed myself for not having a clock in my room.

"I would estimate about seven forty." Edward spoke up. **(AN: They don't need to be to school until 8:35 in my story. Yeah I know it's uncommon but hey, it's still **_**my**_** story. LOL) **

I nodded. "I hate my dad," I mumbled under my breath. Of course it was pointless, I knew Edward could hear me perfectly, with his vampire senses.

"You don't mean that, love. You're just angry." Edward said softly

"I don't care" I said angry. Not at him but at Charlie. I knew I was acting like a three year old though. "I hate Charlie. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!" I all but growled.

"Bella…." Edward almost tried to calm me again but changed his mind at the last minute.

I was angry enough to start screaming again but instead I just started kicking and stomping my foot everywhere. I kicked my wall and stomped on my floor. I walked over and kicked my closet door and then stomped my foot on nothing. I hit my wall and I threw the lamp off my desk and it slide off and broke. I didn't care, I walked back over to the closet and grabbed a pair of high heels that Alice had bought me and threw them into the wall. I then grabbed something else without looking at it and chucked it towards the window. Luckily for the window and me it bounced off.

Edward caught it in his hands. Edward eyed me warily, not really sure if he should try to stop me or not. In the end he decided not to. Good choice for him. I started punching the door and the wall, probably giving me brusies. Charlie probably left for work or something because I bet he'd probably know if I was making this much racket. I _think_, he would at least.

I started throwing random stuff all around and hitting and stepping and breaking things. I was angry and I was trying to take it out any way I could. Then all of a sudden I stepped on something too hard. It was sticking out from under the bed. I looked up at Edward. It wasn't till then I realized that my room was still in perfect order, other than the lamp I broke. I realized Edward was cleaning up my mess.

I felt like suck an idiot, out of the blue. I was acting like an immature twelve year old. I was throwing tantrums, something I'm not exactly proud to admit, I had done many time years ago. I thought I had grown out of that though. I thought having a baby would make grow out of my whiny adolescent stage. Did having your baby die make you gain it back again? I had completely forgotten about the box under the bed until I realized Edward was staring at me with one eyebrow raised.

Without speaking, I motioned for him to come sit next to me. He bent down next to me, who was sitting on the floor.

"What's in that box, love?" Edward asked, not bothering to hide his curiosity.

I looked over the long, wide plastic box. On the side there was a label that read. _Arizona Clothes. Bin One_. I then remember what it was. I lifted the comforter and saw at least 4 more boxes, all probably labeled two through five.

"Oh" I said, realizing "They're my clothes from Phoenix." I explained to Edward. Edward mouthed the word oh.

"Why are they all packed up in plastic bins under the bed?" Edward asked

"I never thought I could wear them, considering the weather here" I explained my reasoning towards hiding them under the bed. I also afraid to let Charlie see them. Let's just say, when the suns hotter people-especially teens, tend to wear less clothes.

Edward's long graceful hands pulled the lid off the top of the plastic bin. He pulled something out. "Uh, Bella?" He asked

"Yeah," I said, fishing out another box from under the bed.

"What are these?" He held the object up…..

**AN: Haha left you again on a cliffhanger. Okay when I checked how many reviews I had gotten in the last 2 days I spent all the time I could on writing this chapter. I need 7 reviews to update again. And you can also guess what the item Edward found was. Really guess, you might get it right.**


	16. Chapter 15: Condom, Thong, and iPhone

**AN: Too tired to give a detailed author's note. 13 reviews. I know. Just a filler chapter. I plan to update soon.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Edward held them in his hands. The things that I had forgot I had packed all that time ago.

"Condoms?" Edward raised an eyebrow, looking shocked. "Really, Bella?" It sounded like he talking to himself more than me now though. "Though I probably should be happy they're not used condoms. They probably have already expired…." Edward continued to talk to himself.

I stared down at the plastic box, that seemed to go forgotten to Edward. I spotted something different on top of my sleazy clothes though. I grabbed my iPhone off the top. Edward's attention came back to me.

"Bella, is that an iPhone?" Edward asked, incredulously and I knew why. I had always made it clear that I grew up in a lower class family, money wise and that I was content that way. But Casey was rich and he got all lot of stuff for me. I felt immediately guilty because I never let Edward buy anything for me. But I would also feel guilty if I did. It was a lose-lose situation.

I handed my iPhone to Edward. He held it up for a moment then he pressed the hang up button to turn it on. The screen soon flashed to life. I was surprised he could still make it work. It had been a good year and a half since I used that thing.

"Does it still work?" Edward asked me

"I think Casey got me a four year contract on it" I guessed. Edward nodded

"Casey's your friend from Phoenix?" Edward asked though he already knew the answer

"Yep." I said simply, trying to sound nonchalant

"And he got this for you?" Edward tried to seem not surprised

"Yep" I replied simply.

"Why did you let him buy you gifts but never me?" Edward asked, curiously. Not as an accusation but as a question.

I shrugged "Simple, Edward. You're too good for me. If let you buy stuff it would make me feel too guilty." I explained simply

"You have it backwards." Edward insisted. I rolled my eyes but didn't respond. I didn't want to start a fight with him too.

I looked down at the plastic box on the floor in front of us. It had all my slutty clothes. Suddenly I hoped Edward was so preoccupied with the iPhone that he wouldn't notice all my thongs.

Yes. I wore thongs. And as much as I used to wear them, I'd really prefer not to have a conversation with Edward about them. But of course my luck ran out.

"Is this yours, love?" Edward asked. I heard his intake of breath. I looked at the piece of clothing in his hand. He had a red lacy thong in his palm. I reached over and ripped it out of his hand. I heard Edward chuckle.

"Shut up" I said, embarrassed. I swear the color of my face matched the thong. I avoided eye contact with Edward all together. In an instant Edward stopped.

"Bella" Edward tried to get me to look at him. I refused. "Sweetheart, I wasn't laughing at you. I was just thinking about the thong. I had never pictured you as a thong kind of person." Edward explained frantically. "I'm sorry…." He said after a moment, obviously trying to dazzle me. And it worked. And the saddest part is that I wasn't even looking at him. How pathetic am I?

"It's okay." I forgave him. He still looked remorseful. "Can I see my iPhone?" I asked. He handed it over. "Do you think it still works?" I asked, clearly trying to change the subject.

My attempt worked. "I checked, yes it still has reception and everything." Edward answered.

I pressed all over the screen of the phone.** (AN: Remember, the iPhone is a touch screen phone.) **I looked at messages. I still had my last message from Francia in my inbox along with Millie, Mason and Allie's goodbye call. I had Taylor's last message under lock. And her picture.

"You know, Bella, I can get you new phone." Edward offered. I rolled my eyes. He was desperate to buy me things.

"I want to keep this phone," I stated blankly not looking away from the screen.

"I can buy you a new iPhone," Edward offered

I shook my head. "No, I want _this_ phone" I emphasized, Edward sighed.

"What's so special about this phone that is different from a newer one?" Edward asked.

"I have all my old friends numbers in here. And I have my last message from" I paused realizing how much I was giving away. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell him, it was just I didn't want to get all sad and depressed like I did when I was talking about my dead friend.

"From?" Edward prompted. I didn't respond. He sighed, "Please, Bella. I thought you were going to talk to me more about your problems." He brought up what I had said last night.

"Taylor" I said, and then looked completely away. He seemed to understand that I didn't want to talk to anyone about this.

I scrolled down my contact list. I saw the names that I had put in here at sixteen.

My contacts looked somewhat like this,

Renee: 355-4355

Phil: 327-6121

Aunt Pam: 654-3333

Uncle Milo: 891-4356

Uncle Troy: 902-4326

Lucas: 243-5676

Jake: 672-2457

*Naty *: 319-0616

Coco: 894-5478

Honey: 434-0098

Casey: 658-1425

Smiley: 987-4623

Mason: 632-5459

Dustin: 252-7799

Tommy: 214-6681

Sparkles: 323-8955

Star: 333-6266

Bubbles: 674-8802

I could read every number in here but the only thing I could think of was the fact that Charlie was not in here. I had all my friends, my cousin, my aunt and uncles. I had my step-dad and my mom. I even had my step-grandpa in my phone, for crying out loud. But I never had my own father. How sad is that?

The sadder thing? I would never admit this out loud, but I didn't even know Charlie's phone number until I moved to Forks. It's not as if I had even had any reason to use it. I never called, nor did he. On his or my birthday we sent cards, two weeks late. On Christmas he sent me a card and money one week early and I sent a card three days late. Our relationship didn't use to be complicated, like it is now. It used to be simple. So simple. We didn't have a relationship.

All I knew is that he didn't care about me. As bad as our relationship is at the moment, I actually like it better than I did a year and a half ago. At least, he knew me, slightly better than before. He knew about Novalee and everything. At least now, everything's spread out on the table in front of us.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked, breaking me out of my trace.

"About how little I used to care about my dad," I said. Edward rubbed my arm soothingly,

"I'm sorry, Bella" Edward looked genuinely sorry. Like he had done something. I rolled my eyes.

"It doesn't matter," I sounded more bitter than I intended. Edward's hand moved to my hair. I looked back through my phone as Edward continued playing with my hair.

I moved scrolled across the last name. Ricky. Number: 123-456. I chuckled. He said that was his number because he didn't like remembering fancy number so he kept his simple. He could be such a dork at times. I wanted to call him so badly but I didn't at the same time. What if he hated me now? What if he had changed his number? What if he screened my calls?

I couldn't blame him if he did feel anything remotely close to that. I mean, come on! I was his best friend and I left without a word. I left without telling anyone. I felt guilty, without a warning, because of that. What kind of person just packs up her stuff in like ten hours and takes off without a word.

I went to my missed calls. Under missed calls I had…over two thousand. My eye bulged out of my head.

"Bella," Edward said next to me. I had forgotten his presences. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"I have over two thousand missed calls." I stated. I was surprised I was able to talk. I doubted I could squeak a word out.

Edward grabbed the phone from me. He looked at the list for a moment. He smiled slightly. "It seems like your friends are very clever. They all took turns calling you from their cell phones for a about twenty times each phone, the tried their home phones different times, then tried their school phone and then used restricted numbers for the rest." Edward chuckled. "Wow, your friends never give up"

I went back to my contact list. I started looking back at Ricky's name. I wanted to call him, but I wasn't sure. I pressed the dial button. After the third ring, I slammed my finger down on the end button. I couldn't do it.

"Do you want to call your friend back, Bella?" Edward asked next to me.

"No" I shook my head. "I doubt I could face him now. Even if I don't littory have to see him."

I leaned into Edward's side. He held me, while we sat in silence. He seemed to be deep in thought.

"I'm going to go hunt." Edward said suddenly.

"Why?" I asked, curious, to why he was leaving already. He just came back last night! "You just hunted." I pointed out, snuggling deeper into his arms, not letting go.

"You can never be too safe, love" Edward kissed the top of my head. "I'll be close by, and I'll be gone for no more than ten minutes. And, this way, it gives you more time to talk to your friend." He smiled.

"Who says I want to talk to my friend?" I taunted back

Edward raised one eyebrow. "You are a truly terrible liar. I think you are going to be just as bad as vampire too." He teased. I hit his arm playfully. Well, kind of playful. I must of hit his arm too hard because I hurt my hand after.

"Ow" I moaned, unlike me. I never complained about pain unless something was really wrong. That must have been what set off Edward.

Edward eyes immediately shot to my hand. "Angel, are you alright?" Edward asked panicked, that he had hurt me. well, tecnically I had hurt myself on him, but I really didn't feel the need to mention this now.

"I'm fine, Edward. I just hit you too hard." I said through clenched teeth,

Edward took my hand and examined it. "I think you hurt it, Bella" His eyebrows pulled together.

I pulled my hand away quickly. Luckily Edward didn't hang on too tight. There's no way I'd be able to hide the throbbing my hand if it got any worse.

"Bella, let me see your hand" Edward commanded

"No!" I yelled. It must have surprised Edward because he stopped pressing me. I sighed, "I'm sorry." I apologized for blowing up at him.

"Can I see your hand, sweetheart. Please. I won't make you get it looked at. I won't even make Carlisle look at it. Just please let me see your hand" Edward asked with pleading eyes. I sighed and shoved my hand, gently, at Edward.

He took it so gentle that I felt no pressure at all. He studied it for a few seconds then he lean down and kissed it softy. He ice cold skin felt so good on my aching hand.

"I really think you hurt your hand, Bella." Edward said, begging me to understand his worry. I did. He worried about me too much, though. My hand will be fine within a few days.

I turned my head back to my iPhone. I scrolled back down the list, with one hand. Ricky's name still stuck out to me. I wonder, in the back of my mind, why I kept going back to the contact list I had seen a thousand times before. It was nothing new. Nothing special. So why did I keep looking at the same exact screen, like it had a whole new meaning.

And then I knew it. I knew Edward was right. I needed to talk with Ricky. He was my best friend. He was the one, besides Nate and all my other friends, who helped me move on with my life when it was the worst ever. I owed him so much more than I could repay. I should have called him before now. No. I should have told him where I was going when I moved to Forks. I should have done something.

"I'm going to give you a moment alone." Edward kissed my head on his way to the window.

"Wait!"

He turned around. I pulled him close to me. He didn't pull back. I pressed my lips to his until I had to let go for oxygen.

"Sorry. I had to do that, if you were leaving again" I smiled. Edward chuckled.

"I promise, love, I'll be right back. No more than ten minutes." Edward leaned down and pressed his lips to mine again. I wrapped my arms around his neck. Too soon as usual, he pulled back. Edward guided me so I was sitting on my bed. "I love you" Edward whispered as he kissed my cheek,

"I love you too." I whispered barely audible. But somehow he heard me. Edward ran his hand through my hair for a moment then hoped out the window.

**AN: G'night!**


	17. Chapter 16: RICKY!

**AN: So I have already started the next chapter and it will hopefully be up soon. My attempt is to get a chapter up a week and sometimes maybe more but I'm not going to promise anything. I want 5 reviews to update because this is a really short chapter.**

As soon as Edward was out of my sight, from my window, I went back to the contact list. I made a special effort not to use my bad hand. When I came across Ricky's name, I pressed the call button. I rang a few times.

"Princess?" A male voice came through the other line.

I hesitated. Maybe this was a bad idea. I shouldn't have called. Surely he hates me right now. I am an idiot for even calling.

"Is this a prank?" Ricky's voice was angry now. "Whoever this is, how the hell did you get Isabel's phone?"

"Uhh uhh" I stuttered

"Say a word." Ricky demanded. I didn't say anything. I couldn't find my voice.

"I'm hanging up now," Ricky stated

"Wait!" I shouted into the phone, suddenly

There was an actward pause. "Bella?" Ricky said, in disbelief

"Ricky" I squeaked out

"What's wrong?" Ricky asked urgently. "Did someone hurt you? I'm gonna kick their sorry ass…"

"Nobody hurt me, Ricky" I laughed shakily "I'm just nervous to talk to you"

"Why?" Ricky asked bluntly

I rolled my eyes. "Because this is actward," I stated as if it should be obvious. "This may be the most actward conversation we have ever had." I said more to myself than to him.

"Then let's not make it actward." Ricky said it as if it should be easy.

"And how do we do that?" I asked, almost sarcastic

"Come on, Princess. Nothing in our relationship has ever been actward before. There's nothing we really don't talk about." Ricky laughed at the end.

"I know" I sighed. "So, how's it going?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Pretty good. Parents are gone. As usual." Ricky said casually as if we had never even missed a day without a conversation.

"Still? How long have they been gone this time?" Ricky's parents have always come and gone as they pleased. As if they never even had a son.

"Two weeks. I don't expect them back for at least four more days. So I can do whatever I want till then." Ricky said brightly. Like it was a good thing that his parents were gone.

"Great. I wish my dad would take off for a few months." I sounded bitter at the end. Ricky didn't notice. But, then again, I always sounded bitter when I spoke of Charlie last time I saw Ricky.

"So how is it? Living with your dad?" Ricky asked.

"Fine, I guess. Or it was until about yesterday night."

"What happened?" Ricky asked. I spent the next few minutes telling Ricky about what happened with Charlie and Nate and me. "Sounds like Nate is still causing trouble for you. But your dad was a jackass for telling everyone like that" Ricky said bluntly. I laughed,

"You have no idea" I smiled. I looked at the clock on my phone. I had been talking to Ricky for five minutes.

He was rambling on about something I wasn't paying attention to. "…. But I'm glad that you told your dad off. Now that was the girl I knew in Phoenix." He continued. I didn't respond right away. "So" he said, changing the subject "you got any new boyfriends?" He laughed, thinking that he was joking.

"Actually, yeah. I do." I admitted. To be honest I was kind of nervous. Not really sure how he would take it. To my surprise Ricky laughed.

"I should have known"

"What?" I asked, my eyes popping out of my head.

"Come on, Princess. You couldn't go anywhere where a guy didn't want you" Ricky said matter a factly.

"Not true!" I argued.

"So true!" Ricky said childishly.

I snorted. "So, how's _your_ love life" I tried to take the attention off me.

"Oh no! You're not getting out of this conversation that quick. Come on! There's nothing we don't talk about, Princess" Ricky pointed out. It was true.

"Fine!" I caved, "His name is Edward, he was absolutely perfect in every way and I love him more than anything or anyone in the world. He's the main reason I've stayed in Forks." I elaborated quickly but lovingly.

"Wow." Ricky said after a minute. Realizing that this thing between Edward and me wasn't just a casual fling. "You must really love him" Ricky was in awe, I sighed a breath of relief.

"Truly, I do" I said, breathless for a moment. "Does this mean you approve?" I asked. It didn't really make a difference to me because I'd date Edward either way but Ricky's opinion was important to me.

"Yes, baby, I approve." Ricky used the word baby as a word of endearment. Not a sexual term. Him and Nate and all the other guys in our clique in Phoenix used it too. "As long as you're happy, I'm happy. After all, you are still my best friend." I was silent for a minute.

"Even though I ran away and avoided you for almost two years" Tears were thick in my voice.

"Bella, are you crying?" Ricky asked, worried.

I took a deep breath and wiped away the few traitor tears that escaped. "No, not anymore." I said, my voice still uneven

"Aw, Princess. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"You didn't. I was just really worried about everything you would think of me by now." I explained

Ricky sighed. "No matter what happens, Isabel, you will always be my best friend. You and Nate" Ricky promised. I was touched.

"You still talk to the our other friends" I asked

"Yeah. They all miss you. They miss Nate too, but you left with no explanation so they were more sad because it was unexplained." Ricky enlightened me. I felt guilty again but I knew that wasn't Ricky's intention.

I got choked up again. I hesitated before I could speak. "Tell them I'm sorry that I didn't tell them that I was leaving. Tell them I'm sorry I never called. Tell them I love them" I whispered the end.

"I will" Ricky whispered back

"I'll talk to you later" I said, clearing my throat.

"Okay." Ricky said. "Should probably get to school before I'm late" He joked

I laughed. Like Ricky cared about being on time. "I love you," I said

"I love you too, Princess"

I hung up. I stared at my iPhone. It was one minute passed what it should be, if Edward was on time. He was never late though. I figured he probably heard I wasn't done talking to Ricky and gave me more time. I'm going to have to make it up to him for being the best boyfriend in the world. He is being way too understanding. I didn't deserve him but he'll never listen to me if I ever mention it.

I shoved my iPhone in my pocket, wanting the comfort to talk to Ricky or maybe someone else, whenever I wanted. But before I did that I did something else. I pulled my phone out and went to the contact list. I pressed the button on the top that said new. I put in the name Edward then put 3 after it so it looked like a heart. I pressed his number into the phone and then saved his contact into the list.

There, it was good. I shoved my iPhone into my jean pocket. Somehow I knew that whatever happened at school today. It wouldn't be pretty.

**AN: 5 Reviews. I love you guys. Good night.**


	18. Chapter 17: School Slut, Part 1

**AN: Okay, I'm so sorry. I thought I was going to get this up a lot sooner. But then I realized that it was going to be longer than I had expected. I love you guys for waiting. Okay, now this chapter is actully going to be slpip into two, which I'll be working on as you read this. It's already almost done. I need 12 reviews then I'll update the second I see the number 12. But more reviews is more than welcome! LOL.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

One minute after I had my phone situated into my pocket, Edward came back through my open window. Wordlessly I got on my knees, while still sitting on the bed and wrapped my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me close.

"Thanks" I whispered

"For what, sweetheart?" Edward asked, surprised

"For standing by me when I told you what happened. Thanks for not acting like Charlie." I thanked him.

"I would never do that to you. To be perfectly honest, I'm really having to restrain myself from going down stairs and ripping Charlie's throat out." Edward chuckled darkly.

"He's right down stairs" I offered him my father. Edward narrowed his eyes playfully.

"You would regret letting me do that in about one hundred years." Edward teased

"MAYBE three hundred." I corrected

"Whatever you say" Edward corresponded, still smiling. He touched my cheek. "Come on, let's go to school." He turned towards the window.

"You know I have a fear of heights and a perfectly good front door down stairs," I mentioned

"_I'm_ taking the window, silly" Edward explained. "Charlie's still down stairs"

"I don't see why you care what he thinks." I made a face.

"Just trying to not give out another reason to fight with your father." Edward told me

"I'll use any excuse," I mumbled more to myself than to Edward

Edward sighed and kissed my forehead. "See you in the volvo." I almost laughed at his choice of words.

I walked out into the hall and down the staircase. I swung up my backpack from behind the couch where Charlie was sitting still watching TV. I didn't look at him once.

"Bella," Charlie caught my wrist. I silently cursed not making Edward jump out the window with me.

"What?" My voice was hard and demanding

Charlie sighed, "I think you owe me an apology-

I cut him off. "Would you just shut the hell up? I don't want to hear your voice so just don't use it" I said like a spoiled little brat. Like I cared, at this exact moment.

"I won't tolerate this kind of behavior," Charlie raised his voice. "If this continues I'll send you straight to Jacksonville," Charlie threatened

I laughed darkly "_Make me_" I glared as hard and cold as ice. I could see that Charlie was getting scared and angered by my behavior. Scared because he never knew how to take care of a teenager when they act like this and angry because I wasn't taking crap from him now. "By the way, why are you still here?" I asked, frostily.

"I decided to wait to go to work late so I could talk to you. Or yell at you, in this case" Charlie said steaming

I rolled my eyes. "Great talk, _dad_. I'm sure we'll have another great one soon, like this." I replied like a monster.

"Actually, maybe not. I'm working overtime from now on. I made sure of that as soon as you left last night." Charlie told me, still sounding angry

"Oh, too bad, dad. I'm really going to miss you" I was laying the sarcasm on pretty thick.

"Don't be a bitch, Bells" Charlie narrowed his eyes. It hurt me slightly that he called me a bitch. I tried not to let it show in my expression.

"Whatever" I said sourly. I pivoted and turned to the door. I heard Charlie mumble

"If I had enough hair, it'd be gray by now" The sound of bitterness never left his voice.

"Love you," I said, fakely

"Love you too, little brat" Charlie grumbled something else unintelligible.

I shut the door behind me. "Ass hole" I mumbled under my breath. I knew Edward heard me because he laughed out loud from his car. I walked over and hopped in the passenger seat.

"I hate my dad," I said bluntly

"So you've told me. That was quite the episode." Edward's voice told me he approved of my behavior. I smiled. We talked about TV shows and other unimportant things until we got to school.

I stepped out of the car and almost instantly I felt stares at my back. Edward growled. He came over and put his arm around my waist.

"What is it?" I asked, looking back. A couple of freshmen that I didn't know were staring at me. But not my face or anything above waistline.

"It's nothing, honey," Edward said quickly, glaring at the boys behind us.

"Alice will tell me" I moved as if to go find her. Edward's other arm came in contact with my waist and restrained me from moving forward.

He sighed. "Okay…… they were thinking….. Some inappropriate thoughts about you" Edward stumbled out. I was almost immediately worried. Edward's voice rarely ever stuttered like that.

I didn't ask for any of the specifics on those boys' minds. I already knew whom to blame for it. Charlie.

We entered the school just then. Everyone turned and looked at us. Or more specifically me. All the girls glared and all the guys looked like they were undressing me in their minds. I'm sure they were. Edward growled, confirming my assumption about the guys. He looked like he was going to suck their blood. After a few actward seconds everyone turned back to their normal conversations.

Alice came up to us. "Sorry Bella, I should have warned you ahead of time but I wasn't looking for anything specifically when I knew you were with Edward." Alice looked genuinely remorseful.

"It's not your fault, Alice. I don't blame you." I told her sincerely.

"Thanks" Alice gave me a small smile, still sad and shameful.

"Let's go to class," Edward whispered to me. He didn't raise his voice at all. I doubt anyone other than me or Alice could even hear him. Edward's hand still rested on the small of my back. He guided me forward, probably trying to protect me from whatever everyone was thinking. But when we walked into first period things just went from bad to worse.

Ms. Smitt was talking on the phone, not even acknowledging our presents. But Lauren did.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in." Lauren said loudly. Obviously her comment was aimed towards me. But that didn't stop Edward from getting his commentary in there.

"Why you little" Edward began. I put my hand tightly, over his mouth. Of course, he could have easily broken my hold but not with so many witnesses.

"I actually feel sorry for you, Edward" Lauren babbed her eyelashes. "You have to hang out with this piece of trash all day." She smirked looking at me. "So, Bella how was child labor?" Lauren faked curiosity

I said nothing as I sat down behind her. I wanted to ask for a new seat but that would only draw more attention to myself. And the less attention, right now, the better. Edward sat next to me, taking my hand.

Jessica walked into the room. She stopped when she saw me. "You rotten slut," Jess spat. This time my eyes went wide. "How dare you try to trap Nate!"

That caught me off guard. "What?" I said in disbelief. Jessica slid in her seat next to Lauren.

"Don't be your stupid self, Swan." Lauren was still glaring at me. Lauren's comment made no sense, making me unable to respond. Not like I was doing a whole lot of that before though.

"You got pregnant to trap Nate into your life forever. But then your luck ran out and your baby died." Jessica faked sadness. "Too bad for you" She smirked. What's wrong with these people? An innocent baby died and all they care about is that they want to bang the parents? How wrong is that?

"Watch out, Edward, you're next" She eyed me, pissed off. I couldn't take it anymore; I jumped out of my seat. I went over and shove Lauren's chair straight into Jessica's and both of them tumbled into the ground. Lauren leaned away, cowering but Jessica was ready for a fight, as was I.

Edward grabbed my waist. I hadn't realized he had gotten out of his seat. I wondered in the back of my mind if Edward got up at a human speed or a vampire's. Who saw him? Something else I hadn't realized was that class had already started. One of the disadvantages of sitting on the near back of the room was you don't always know what's going on in the front of the room.

Now Ms. Smitt was glaring at me. She motioned one finger to come forward and talk to her. I knew it meant I was in trouble again. Only this time, I didn't care what Charlie thought. My feelings were purely about how unfair it was that I was getting in trouble while Lauren and Jessica were getting away with their comments to me.

I knew it was wrong to walk away from a teacher but I couldn't handle it anymore. I walked in the opposite direction, towards the door. I was going to ditch class. Ms. Smitt cleared her throat.

"Ditching will not be tolerated, Isabella" She sounded like Charlie this morning, only she somehow had some right over me. My education. "It's an automatic suspension."

"And if I stay?" I raised one eyebrow not caring what anyone thought of me at this point.

Ms. Smitt sighed. "I'll let it slide, just this once. Can I please just get on with the lesson now." She asked loudly to the class. They all said a mixture of yeses and a few whatevers. Some I could tell were enjoying the show, while others were bored. I sat back down, embarrassed.

"Slut" I heard Lauren say under her breath. Once again, Edward took my hand. I looked at his face. It was full of concern. Concern for me. He squeezed my hand.

"I'm sorry" He mouthed. I just nodded and squeezed his hand tighter. I looked down at the desk, not paying attention for the duration of the period. When I the bell rang, Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the classroom.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I cannot believe those vile excuses for humans are even aloud to exist" Edward rambled on

"Me either," I agreed, quietly.

"Oh, Bella" Edward tried to comfort me but I blew him off. Not because I was mad at him but because I wanted to be alone.

"I have to go to trig" I whispered then left Edward standing in the middle of the hallway while other students filed out of their first period classes.

I was the first in the classroom for trigonometry. The teacher was grading some papers at the front of the room, not paying attention to me. I sat down, in the back away from everyone else and put my head in my hands. I thought about Edward. I felt bad about leaving him in the hall, all alone. But Alice would surely join him soon. And she would easily comfort his fears, about me.

I sat there for a few minutes not paying attention to any unparticular. I heard a few footsteps walk by but I couldn't be sure. I still had my head down, in my arms. Then, I felt a hand come in contact with my upper back. I jumped up, almost instantly.

"Who the hell just unhooked my bra!" I yelled, not caring who heard me. Well not caring for a second. Then I realized that class had already started, and everyone was staring at me. I looked around the room, at the different expressions coming from people.

I read the Mr. Vander's face. It read that he were really annoyed. I looked around and saw a few other faces. I saw Mike, who looked somewhere between turned on and pitiful. No doubt both emotions were directed towards me. Behind Mike was Jessica. I could predict what her reaction would be. I guessed right. Her face held smug and disgust. Again, I was the center of both of the emotions. Angela's face was next. She looked sympathetic.

Angela may be the only person who may not have completely ditched me at this point. Maybe. Or maybe Jessica or Lauren could recruit her. Somehow I don't see Angela as a gossiping about 'the girl who lost her baby' type, though. I looked at Kalob. I realized then, no doubt he was the culprit of unhooking my bra. Next to him was Violet. Her eyes held a glare. When I looked at her, she flipped me off. Mr. Vander didn't seem to notice or really care. My eyes trailed to Lee and Conner. Lee looked like he wanted to start laughing or something. Conner had his fist extended to Kalob, as if to tell him he did a good deed. I wanted to be sick.

"Everyone" Mr. Vander cleared his throat. "Would you please raise your hand if you think I've had enough of the Edward, Bella and Nate show?" a few people with bored and annoyed expressions raised their hand. Mr. Vander's eyes came back to me. "Would you sit down, Swan?" He demanded. I did as I was told and latched my bra.

As the teacher got back on track with his lesson, I pulled out my notebook. I figured there was really no point of even paying attention. School was the last thing on my mind, right now. I started doodling, not really paying attention to what I was drawing. When I was done I noticed I had drawn sparkles, a pacifier and a tiara. I laughed quietly, at what it represented about me.

A pacifier for Novalee, because she was a baby. _My _baby. Sparkles for Edward, because he glitters on a sunny day. And a crown because my nickname is Princess. I laughed again, still quiet, on how well I took my old nickname back.

I, then saw a tap on my paper, that made me look up. I saw Mr. Vander leaning over me.

"Hello?" I said in a pitiful and unsteady voice.

"Hello, Miss Swan" he looked angry

"Can I help you?" I squeaked out.

Mr. Vander sighed. "Look kid. I am very sorry, unlike a lot of people, that you lost your baby. But I have also heard enough about you and Nate's little adventure. I think this whole town has. But I'm not looking to be your babysitter, while your father doesn't care to deal with you. So please do you and me a favor, and get out if you don't want to learn like everyone else. I don't need you disturbing my class" His face was stern throughout his whole lecture. But at least his voice was quiet. Nobody else could hear, that I was sure of.

I didn't care to inform him that not everyone in the class is here to learn. Most kids come to school to hang out with their friends and goof off. It's a place to get away from their parents and other people they don't like in the outside world.

But then there were people like me, who everywhere they go, there were people who hated them. When I left Phoenix, it was because I wanted to escape to another place, where I could exit it all. But I would never do that again. I'd never abandon Edward, like that.

I thought for a split second about that. I would never ditch Edward like that, would I? I never thought I'd ditch Nate but I did that anyway. My grief added up inside my head until it became too much and I could take it anymore.

Mr. Vander was still staring at me the whole time I had blanked out. I stood up to leave. I knew I was a coward to ditch a class as soon as it became too much, but that's exactly what I planned to do.

"Isabella" Mr. Vander caught my shoulder and spun me around. "If you leave my classroom without permission when class is still in session I'm afraid I'm going to have to take serious measures with you."

"Excuse me?" I asked

"You will be suspended." He said like he was talking to a four year old. I sighed and sat back down, resigned. No matter what happened today, I wouldn't be surprised anymore. And I knew more was to come. This was only second period.

The bell rang at the end of class and I walked out with everyone else, trying to fit in a crowd. Of course, I knew by this point that it was impossible for me to fit in anywhere. I walked up to my locker to get my Spanish book I had left in there yesterday. I turned the combination and it opened.

On the top shelf there was a box. It read Bella on it. I picked it up. That was a mistake. I didn't realize till it was too late that the box was bottomless. It was a prank. About fifty condoms fell out of the bottom of the box, spilling all over the floor.

I sighed. I should have expected this. It was classic. Put a bottomless box in a whore's locker and laugh when she opens it. We used to do it all the time at PV. The only thing is I never thought I'd be the whore.

I bent down to clean up the condoms off the floor, before a teacher could see them. It would be just my luck that a teacher would walk out and blame these condoms on me. I wouldn't even be surprised.

At the bottom of the pile, I found a sheet of paper that said slut on it. I scooped up some condoms off the floor and threw them into the bottom of my locker. As I did this people continued to walk by, glancing my way giving me condescending or questioning looks. Just then two other girls walk behind me. From the corner of my eye I made out Chelsea and Samantha.

Samantha smirked when she saw me, no question she had heard all the gossip and was most likely gossiping as fluent and eager as everyone else. But she at least had the courteously not to speak. I can't say the same about Chelsea.

I heard Chelsea snort. "I wish Nate Carter would get me pregnant." She said as she walked by me and then laughed with Samantha, like they had heard the most amazing joke.

As they walked off, I turned back to the spilled condoms all over the floor. I felt two bodies come help me scoop up the condoms. I turned and saw Edward and Alice. My breath hitched.

"Hey" I said quietly

Edward looked up, "Hey" but his wasn't quiet. It was angry.

Alice on the other hand, looked, well kind of remorseful. "What's wrong, Alice?"

"I didn't see this coming" Alice said. "What else am I good for if I don't stop this kind of stuff from happening."

I rolled my eyes. "This is so not your fault." As if on cue I saw Nate come down the hall. He spotted me almost immediately.

"Uh, Princess, why are you cleaning up condoms on the floor?" Nate raised one eyebrow, like he was trying hard not to laugh.

I picked one up off the ground and threw it at Nate's eye. "So not funny!" I scolded

Nate chuckled "Why not?"

I stood up, infuriated now. "Because my life is now becoming a living hell, all because of you! You couldn't keep your pants on! You had to sleep with me!" I refereed back to that fateful new years back in Phoenix.

I didn't care that here were other people in the hallway now watching us. But Nate did. "Uh, Isabel, can we please talk about this somewhere else." Nate seemed uncomfortable.

"No! I don't want to talk about this anywhere else. It's your fault!" I yelled, desperate to take the blame off me.

"How is this more my fault than yours?" Nate asked, angry now too. Well let him get angry. See if I care.

"Simple. _I would have never had sex if you wouldn't have pressured me!" _Nate looked shocked.

"Bella," Nate said, using my name. I was starting to worry about that. It was so unusual for him to use my name instead of Princess or Isabel. "I asked you if you were sure, right before we did it." Unlike mine, his voice was slow and quiet, making everyone else unable to hear.

I took in a deep breath. "I only did it because I wanted to make you happy." I said. "If I would have known the consequence I would have never done it."

Nate took a deep breath in, and squeezed his eyes shut. Then he did something that I wasn't prepared for. But I should have been. It was just so Nate. "Are you serious, Princess! You wanted it just as bad as me! Don't you dare lie!"

"I did not, Nate! And you know it! Don't be such an ass!" Now I could hear people around me, some were cheering me on; others were booing me for even existing. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered where Edward and Alice went.

"Stop being a bitch!" Nate yelled back

I was going to make another comment when I heard footsteps coming down the hall. This time I wasn't so stupid. I ran, as did everyone else, into a classroom. I listened by the door. Mr. Greene was the one coming down the hall apparently. It seemed it that only a few unlucky kids were stuck getting caught. They didn't snitch though. Mr. Greene didn't sound too pleased but he let it go.

As soon as he was gone, I finally looked around at my surroundings. I was in the bathroom, not a classroom. I felt stupid for not noticing earlier. I looked around. There were four sinks with mirrors over them and six stalls. I walked up to one of the mirrors and looked at myself.

I looked pretty much the same as usual. I had on the same outfit I had put on this morning. I don't know what it was. Sad, maybe? Angry? I couldn't identify it.

I still looked sort of like what I did in Phoenix. Maybe a little older and a little more pale but that's about it. Except the make up thing. I never wear make up anymore. Edward tells me I don't need it but I used to wear it all the time.

I remembered the first time I met Nate's family. When I met Ryann especially. His nickname for me ran through my brain.

_Looks to Kill_.

It meant that ever guy was attracted to me and every girl hated me. Now I never thought very much of myself, but Ryann always said that.

But one thing I do know is I was mad. I was mad at everyone for no apparent reason. And worst of all is it was driving a wedge between me and the people who matter most to me. Edward specifically. I couldn't handle that.

I looked at the person in the mirror. I realized that I was angrier with myself than anything else._ I _had caused this issue. _I_ had let it spiral out of control. This is _my_ fault.

Before I thought about what I was doing, I had already done it.

I swung my hand back and then crashed it straight into the mirror.

**AN: Oooo. Tell me what you think. Okay, again I need 12 reviews. And I promise if I get them then I will update than very second.**


	19. Chapter 18: School Slut, Part 2

**AN: Here's the next chapter. I need 10 reviews to update. I promise I will work on the next chapter soon so hurry with your reviews. You if you just read this and like it all you have to do is press the little review button and tell me that. I know, I know. I'm so greedy. I love everyone who already has reviewed and I love you even more if you have reviewed more than once. That is if the review was nice. LOL**

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The mirror shattered, automatically. It sliced from my hand to my wrist like a knife slices bread. Red blood came pooling out, with no end. I was getting dizzy and starting to get queasy. I should have known it was a bad idea.

To be perfectly honest, I'm not actually sure if that was my idea or if my body betrayed my mind. Either way the damage was done. I walked backwards until I found a wall to lean up against. As I slid down, I shut my eyes. I was pretty sure I heard someone come in. I tried to open my eyes, but I was still faint and queasy.

"Edward" I moaned

"It's going to be alright, baby. It's going to be all right" Edward bent down next to me and soothed me. He sounded more obnoxious than me though.

Edward was gone for no less than three seconds and then was back again. He had a cloth in his hand. I didn't bother to ask where he got it. Edward took my hand that I had cradled to my chest. First, Edward pulled a piece of glass out of it. I winced. It stung. He wrapped the towel around it putting very little pressure on it.

Edward looked back at the mirror I had broken. He looked back at me studying my face for a moment.

"Maybe that was a bad idea," I said quietly. Edward face now became livid.

"Yes! It was a very bad idea. I don't know what I would have done if Alice hadn't had a vision. You must have made your little decision in the spur of the moment because all Alice got was you fainting in the bathroom with blood and broken glass around you. And I couldn't even make it down here immediately because I was in the Spanish room when it took place. Do you know how much that scared me, Bella? Thinking I may be too late? Do you?" I let Edward get tirade out without interrupting. I knew it was stupid. And I know I freaked Edward out.

"I'm sorry," I whispered pitifully. Edward looked back at me again and sighed.

"It's not your fault, Bella." Edward murmured after a moment. "I don't think I'll ever understand how much pain you're in" I doubted I was supposed to hear the last part but I didn't say anything.

Edward unwrapped my arm then looked at the huge gash that was now in my arm. "Well, the cut isn't deep, just long and there isn't any glass in it. I believe it shouldn't have any problems healing. But I believe this is the hand which you damaged this morning, so I was like Carlisle to take a good look at it." I nodded in response. "How's your stomach?" Edward asked concerned, his hand moving to my tummy.

"It's fine." I said through clenched teeth, trying to not make myself sick again. I hated that I faint at the sight of blood.

Edward pulled something out of the back of his pocket. "Robbed the nurses office" he flashed me his crooked smile. He pulled out a gauze bandage.

As he wrapped it around my wrist I asked him a question. "Why do I have to wear that kind of bandage?" I complained childishly. "Everyone will know what I did. It's a dead give away"

Edward was done wrapping. "It's just the best way to bandage a glass caused cut, Bella." Edward explained. He pulled me up gently. "Here" he slid off his coat and pulled my arms through it. "There. Now no one can see your wrist" He zipped his coat up around me.

"People aren't going to notice if I'm wearing your coat?" I raised my eyebrows teasing.

"Isn't customary for a girl to wear her boyfriends jacket?" He raised his eyebrow, teasing me right back, "If you're afraid of people staring at you too much I will take it back" Edward offered

I rolled my eyes. "Like people can stare at me more. I'm the new school slut"

Edward growled. "They don't matter, love. They're just sick and vile excuses for human beings." He said

"I'm sorry." I reached down and ran my fingers across my newly carved cut. "I was so stupid." I muttered, ashamed

Edward stopped me from putting too much pressure on my cut to the point of pain. "Just don't scare me like that again." I nodded, mutely. Edward took my undamaged hand and we walked out into the hallway. I made a special effort to keep my hand in my pocket. No way I wanted anyone to see it.

As we approached Spanish class, Edward squeezed the hand he was holding.

"I'm sorry you must deal with this today, Bella. If you would like I will take you home this second. No hesitations." Edward offered. I shook my head, though.

"As good as that sounds, I've already missed enough of school." I said, weakly.

We continued forward into class. Right before I opened the door, I heard Edward curse. Before I could ask though everyone eyes turned to look at me as I entered. Nobody gave Edward much thought.

I cursed myself for having my seat right next to Alice in the very front. Everyone could stare at my back now. I groaned. I looked at the teacher, half expecting her to glare at me. Instead though, she just smiled. I realized Ms. Gulf was maybe one of the few people on my side.

I sat down next to Alice in my usual seat. Edward sat on my other side.

"As I was saying," Ms. Gulf continued her talking from before. "We will not have Spanish today. Instead we have an assembly." I froze. Was that the reason behind Edward's cursing? I gave Edward a perplexed look.

Everyone got out of their seat, for the first time today, ignoring me. All except one that is. As Alice, Edward and me came walking down the aisle of desks, Chelsea waited with her foot stuck out to me. Lucky for me Edward stopped me in time.

"You may go first, Chelsea." Edward said as an order, not a question, but still sounded gentlemanly.

Chelsea huffed and went to catch up with her boyfriend, Max. Alice and me linked arms, with Edward walking behind us, and walked down to the gym where the assembly was being held. There where chairs were set up for us to sit in. I sat, sandwiched between Edward and Alice.

I noticed the screen was down as if the adults were going to give power points. Alice noticed my interest. She then _tried_ to distract me.

"So, Bella, what are we going to do after school?" Alice asked, faking curiosity.

"I don't know" I shrugged. "What's the assembly going to be about?" I turned to Edward. He obviously knew,

He shrugged now. I shook the arm, which was wrapped around me. "What's it going to be about?" I knew I sounded whiny, but I didn't mean to. It just came out that way. I heard Lauren gag. I turned to look directly behind me. As soon as I did Edward turned my head back.

"Don't even give them the time of day, Bella." Edward murmured in my ear.

I turned to Alice, knowing she'd probably give me a more straightforward answer as to what the assembly would be about.

She said nothing. I groaned. I was frustrated. Not with the Cullens' but with everything. Everything was falling apart. I wanted to scream. Just then the principal called everybody's attention.

"Please quiet down, everybody." Mr. Greene said into a microphone. "Now that I have your attention, I'd like to talk to you about something very important." He paused, everyone waited. "Teen pregnancy." As if on queue everyone turned and looked at me. Didn't matter where they were sitting, they manage to stare, some only looked for a brief few seconds, while other stared for longer than that. I could feel my face go a tomato shade.

Mr. Green continued "Now we all know about people in our school who had a teen pregnancy happen in their life." It was like a scene from a horror movie in front of me.

"Why didn't you warn me?" I asked Edward and Alice, hurt.

Edward tightened his arm around me, but he didn't say anything. And I knew why. He didn't know how to. I was putting him in an actward position. I felt remorseful. I just wanted to disappear in that exact moment. To disappear and never look back. I just wanted to stop existing all together.

The assembly continued on. "Now, I'm not going to mention any names" Mr. Greene said through the microphone again.

"BELLA AND NATE!" I heard more than one person shout. I sunk lower in my chair. Alice growled, Edward pinched the bridge of his nose.

Mr. Greene, shot the kids he caught shouting out, a dirty look. Though, I'm not sure if it was in defense of me or if he just didn't appreciate being interrupted. "As I was saying before, teen pregnancy is one hundred percent preventable. That means if you get pregnant or get your girlfriend pregnant it's your fault. You do the crime, you do the time, I always say" I got a look of disgust across my face. He was twisting the words of a teen pregnancy commercial you see on TV.

Mr. Greene talked about how wrong it was to have sex before marriage and all that for a while. Then, just to make matters worse, a power point came across the screen about teenagers getting pregnant. I almost puked. It was terrible to look at, and see other girls, who were in the same situation as I used to be in. They also talked about abortions in the power point, and how wrong that was too.

All the teachers and people who made that video were contradicting themselves. They were saying if you're in a pregnancy situation, get out of it without getting an abortion. Not that I would ever get one but still. They were sending the wrong message and a confusing one at that.

"Now, you recently heard about your two classmates, Bella and the newcomer to Forks, Nate Carter. I trust that you heard about them" Everyone said a combination of yeses. "Well they are the perfect example. They did everything wrong….."

I couldn't listen to this anymore. I got out of my seat and ran past the teachers. They didn't stop me but I did hear them to tell Edward to sit down. Ms. Gulf saw me and let me pass, knowing I didn't want to hear this assembly anymore. I would have to thank her in the near/distant future.

I raced down the junior hallway. This time I wasn't running home. No, that may make it worse. I couldn't be sure that Charlie wasn't going to be there. I wasn't paying attention to where I was running though and I crashed into an open locker door. I fell backward onto the hall floor.

Seriously? Who just leaves their locker open in the middle of the hallway? Did they want their stuff stolen? Are juniors really that stupid? This is the hallway where their lockers are along with the new kids. I wondered briefly where Nate's locker was.

"Oh, my bad, shorty." A hot voice from above me said. Oh, great. Nate's here. "Oh my god. Princess? I didn't see you" Nate grasped.

"Really" I said in a sarcastic voice.

Nate laughed at my dry humor. But I wasn't in a laughing mood. He extended a hand to help me up.

"Don't touch me," I ordered strictly.

Nate was taken back by my words. "So, you're just going to lay there. In the middle of the floor?" Nate sounded confused, like he thought I was crazy.

"I don't see how my day can get any worse," I moaned from the ground.

"Bad day?" Nate asked. I nodded, "Me too" he said quietly. He sat down on the floor next to me. I continued to lay there.

I laughed without humor. Was there ever going to be anything funny in our lifes anymore. It didn't seem like it. "What was the worst part? For you" I asked, curious

Nate paused. "Three minutes ago. Before I ran out" He admitted, sheepishly. Nate was referring to the assembly.

"Mine too." I said very little again. We stared at each other in actward silence again.

Finally, Nate broke it, after a couple minutes. "So are you just going to lay there?" He went back to his original question. I sighed,

"I guess I better get up" I mumbled. I sat up but instead of getting to my feet I slid my back so that I was leaning into the locker behind me. Nate closed his locker door and slid back next to me.

"So what did you think of the assembly?" Nate asked

I shrugged. "What am I supposed to think of it? What am I supposed to think of this day, Naty?" I asked, rhetorical questions.

"The assembly was mainly about us" Nate stated the obvious

"You don't say?" I added in, sarcastically. I thought for a moment about my day. "Didn't we fight, like twenty minutes ago?" I asked, as soon as the thought occurred to me.

Nate didn't answer right away. "I think so. So, whose turn is it to apologize now?" Nate teased.

"Whoever was wrong" I hinted toward Nate

"Hey, I was only defending myself. You flipped out on me," Nate pointed out. I knew he was right. Nate laughed. I turned my head towards him, curious. "Do you remember when we were younger? And when I was angry, I would always take my anger out on you. Not physically but emotionally. Do you remember that?"

"Yeah" I answered, not sure where this was going.

"Well, not you're taking your angry out on me" Nate finished. I remembered how badly I felt every time Nate blew up at me.

"I'm sorry," I said. I tried to rationalize why I did what I did. "It's just well….. I don't know how to say this, Nate"

"What is it, Princess?" Nate turned his head towards me

"It's not fair, Nate. It's just not fair," I said after a few minutes of silence.

"What's not fair, Bella?" Nate raised his eyebrows; his head was now inclined towards me.

"I was Novalee's mother. I had to be the one who got pregnant, and fat. I had to be the one who gave birth." My voice was raised. "Everyone looks at you and sees a guy who stuck around through out the whole pregnancy and thinks 'what a great guy'! But when they look at me _they only see a whore who didn't take care of her baby and let her die_" I whispered the end.

"I don't think that, Isabel. But I do see your point. You had to do all the hard stuff. But I did what I could." Nate offered.

I sighed. "Yeah, I know. Listen I'm sorry I'm taking my anger out on you. It isn't fair to you. Most guys wouldn't have stuck around and you did. Thank you" I thanked and apologized to Nate in the same sentence.

Nate paused for a second. I turned my head to look at him but he was no longer looking at me. "Princess," he started out "You do take your anger out on me. But you also take it out on other people. Not that some don't deserve it but still. Why are you so angry?" Nate asked. I didn't take offence to his question because I knew it was true.

I hesitated before answering. "I don't know, Nate. I just don't know. I'm stressed out, I guess. Everything in my life has hit the wall. And I'm always running out. On school, on home, I can't remember the last time I went to work, I'm running out on Edward." I stopped.

"You are?" Nate prompted me to continued after a moment.

I sighed again. I decided it's time I told someone what I was really feeling. "I ran out on you, Nate. I'm afraid I'll do that to Edward." I whispered

Nate looked down, "Do you think you'd ever do that?"

I shrugged. "I didn't think I'd ever do that to you but here I am. A year and a half later, just now facing you."

"You can't compare our relationship to yours and Edward's, Princess." Nate pointed out.

"I'm not. I know the two relationships are not the same. But this isn't about either one of you. When I left you Nate, it wasn't about you. It was about me. And _my_ feelings haven't changed about _myself_." I explained

"What do you mean?" Nate asked.

"When I left Phoenix, I left because it became too much for me to handle. I just," I hesitated before continuing, "I just wanted to start over. To be someone else besides the girl who lost her baby. I couldn't handle my grief, so I thought if I left. I wouldn't have to deal with it. I just wanted to be anyone else and live any other life that I could. I was desperate, Naty!" Though I meant to sound loud and exasperated, instead my voice kept on breaking. "Instead my grief followed me and waited for the perfect moment to come out and bite me in the ass." I added the end, bitter. Nate knew I didn't mean him when I said my grief came back to bite me in the ass.

I knew Nate was right. I was angry, bitter and stressed out. But who wouldn't be? But I still shouldn't take it out on Nate or Edward, that much I knew.

I was now staring straight ahead but I could feel Nate's eyes on me. "I don't think I ever really dealed with my grief." I said to myself, not expecting Nate to hear me.

"Yes, you did" Nate cut in. "You dealed with it better than I did. You were always stronger than me, Bella" I looked at him shocked.

"Stronger? Really Nate? I was never strong about it." I argued.

"Yes, you were. Especially now." Nate paused before continuing, I waited patiently for him to explain. When he spoke his voice "_I never realized how much I put on you_. How much I made you deal with. I only ever saw my own pain. I never looked and saw how hurt you were by this. I look around now and see how everyone is treating you. And I feel like I caused it. I'm always hurting you, Bella. I make you deal with something nobody should have had to deal with. And the worst thing is. You were alone. All alone. You moved to Forks, and didn't tell any one. It's like having a broken leg and still walking on it. Nobody knows and you suffer in silence." Nate stated.

I remembered what I thought of Nate about a little less than half a week ago. When I was telling Edward my story. I had thought that Nate was always alone and I had felt sorry for him, but he thought that I was always alone. Even though I didn't tell anyone about Novalee and Nate and Phoenix, I still always had Edward. But I understood what Nate meant. I hadn't told anyone, which you could say was suffering in silence. His comparison to a broken leg was perfect.

"I wasn't always alone" I whispered after minute of thinking. "And, I really don't care what the other girls think of me. I just wish I still had my baby." I paused, once again. "_As time goes on, it get harder and harder to remember Novalee_. Do you remember how we used to call her Nova? Or how she used to grab your face when you held her? Or how she sucked on your cell phone that one time and accidentally dialed nine one one? Or how she cried every time you left the house. And how she used to want me in the room when she was sleeping? Novalee would always notice when I was gone." I could feel tears start to come down my face.

Nate looked at my face. Immediately, his face turned to shock. "Oh, crap! Don't cry, Isabel, don't cry." He wiped away my tears. "Come on, your boyfriend will kill me if he thinks I made you cry!" I laughed at his words; clearly that was the intention behind them.

I stopped the best I could. "I'm sorry" I mumbled still dazed by tears.

"It's fine, Princess" Nate said mechanically.

I calmed myself down after a minute. I, again, was just staring off into space. Suddenly I did something I didn't normally do. I blurted out the thoughts from my head.

"I hate my dad." I said loud and crystal clear

Nate laughed, "I hate your dad too"

"He's just such a prick," I said, surprising myself with my choice of words.

I turned my head to look at Nate at the same time as he turned his head to look at me. I giggled as he stared at me open mouthed.

"Why, you bad little girl" Nate teased. "Talking about your dad like that"

I took a double meaning to his first words. "The first five words out of your mouth sounded really disgusting." I pointed out

Nate hit my arm. It kind of hurt, but it wasn't Nate's fault. He didn't know that I had hurt my arm."Shut up. You know I didn't mean it like that"

"Sure you didn't," I teased. Nate's eyes went straight to my hand. I sighed, figured he'd see it. "Yeah, yeah. I smashed my hand into a mirror." I admitted. Nate's eyes popped out of his head.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Nate sounded like I had personally insulted him

"You sound like Edward" I pointed out

"Edward is a smart guy," Nate said pointedly as if I wasn't smart. Okay, maybe I wasn't. My hand officially proved it.

"Yeah, Edward is. But you can't pull off the way he talks. He's too good for you to even try." That was my master comeback? I'm going to have to brush up on my old insults and sarcastic remarks.

Nate didn't respond but just rolled his eyes. We sat there in silence once again. I have no idea how long we had been in the hallway but the assembly should be over soon.

"We're probably going have to get back to class soon" I pointed out

"Why?" Nate asked

"I can't miss anymore of school" I stated

"You won't be. Today is early release." Nate told me

"What?" I had been so out of it lately that I hadn't even thought to check. Was it really early release?

"Why else would I be getting my stuff from my locker. By the way, do you know where I can get a trigonometry book? I have to catch up on all of chapter three that I've missed, because I transferred when you guys were right in the middle of it." Nate explained

"The library is out of them. You can borrow mine, I don't need it right now." I informed him

"Sweet. Where is it?" Nate asked

"My locker. In the senior hall. The combination is 23-32-12."

Nate started to get up. I was actually glad he was leaving. Not because I was mad at him but because I needed to cry for a few minutes and didn't want him to see.

"23-32-12. Got it" Nate mumbled the numbers to himself again.

When I saw him far enough away, I completely lost it. I started crying immediately. I couldn't take it anymore. I hated everyone who was giving me a bad time. What the hell? Did everyone in Forks have ice water running through their veins? I somehow like it better though. At least nobody felt sorry for me. I hated being pitied. I had to make some changes in my life though. And soon. It was the only way this was ever going to get better. The only way I was ever going to get better, I realized. But what I hadn't realized is Nate had turned back to look at me and saw me on the floor of the hall.

He knew I was crying because I was upset over our daughter. "Let her go, Princess. Just let her go," He whispered softly, when I was close enough to me again.

I buried my face in my hands. "It's so hard!" I squeaked out. I was surprised it was hearable. I heard Nate's footstep come over to me. I lifted one of my hands off my eye and look at him. He knelt down next to me and opened his arms to me. Within one second I was in them and he was rocking me back and forth.

**AN: Okay, I'm going to work on the next chapter tomorrow and maybe today. I guess it depends on when I'm post this chapter. Right now it's Sunday when I got done writing this so yeah. LOL. I need 10 reviews to update so please give them to me. I love you guys!**


	20. Chapter 19: Kill Something

**AN: I am so very sorry for not updating for the past two weeks. I have been working on it for quite a while though. I am going to give you guys a break and not give you a specific amount of reviews. But I still need some reviews. Anyway, I again a very sorry but I did this chapter in Edward POV. So that makes up for something, right? LOL. Just to warn you though he may be a little darker in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

(Edward's POV)

I sat through the assembly angrily. What kind of sick people actually thought of this stuff? Why would they expose it to the kids of this school? And to even think Bella's name, in this chaos, is a horrible crime to me. But to even mention it aloud like a few did, made me want to rip their heads right off.

It wasn't enough that she had to suffer through this, losing her baby girl, but people had to give her this hard time. This is crap, honestly. Seriously? They are really trying to make this a horrible day for Bella.

_Not just Bella, _I reminded myself. Nate was the father and he was suffering to. I felt guilt for even disliking him. Sure, maybe I would like to but come on. I'm not heartless. I have compassion for Nate. He's been through hell and back, just like my Bella. And truly I like him. I could tell he liked me to, even if I could read his mind. He was like Bella in that way also. His face gave away more than enough.

I still wasn't fond of the idea that him and Bella were alike at all. But there was really nothing I could do about it other than support my girl through out everything that is going to be thrown her way. I silently cursed, nobody unparticular. _Why_, I asked God, in my head. _Why? Why can't somebody give Bella a break?_

She didn't do anything. So what, she had a baby? So what she was only fifteen? She didn't deserve this. Nobody did really. Esme didn't deserve this either. I prayed that Bella wouldn't do anything like Esme and jump off a cliff.

Bella's earlier incident made me worry more. She had slammed her fragile fist through a glass mirror and shattered it. Bella's very lucky she slit her wrist from the side. If she had cut through her vein, well…

I didn't even finish that thought, fully knowing what might have been. I couldn't blame her though. Bella's been hurt more times than I can count. She's been scarred, bruised, beaten, battered, and torn. But she's always stuck it through. No matter what. Bella was the strongest person I have ever met.

And yet, I still have to wonder. Is there something that may be too big for her? Something that she couldn't handle.

I was still half listening to the assembly. It really angered me how when I went to go after Bella, the teachers told me to sit down and wouldn't let me leave. They let Bella leave because, believe it or not, they have a few ounces of sympathy for Bella. Nobody really would make two kids that have lost their baby sit through a whole assembly about it.

Still, it didn't stop them from making them listen while they told all the other kids. It disgusted me. Made me sick to my core. And I knew it made Alice almost as sick as me. She loved Bella like a sister and was equally as protective of her.

To my surprise so was Rosalie. She was being supportive of Bella as of late. Bella had told her while I was on my last hunting trip. When I came home with Bella last night she had been so asleep she hadn't noticed Emmett and Jasper. They now knew the truth.

Emmett was going to try to make her laugh. Keep Bella as happy as possible without Jasper's gift. If we did use his gift then it would be wrong. Bella needed to cope with this on her own or she will never be able to. In Emmett's mind he was searching for things to do to help. He also loved Bella and wanted to help her in any way possible. His biggest option was physical. Emmett planned to find whoever Nate's brother was and kill him. I hadn't told him about everyone at school giving Bella a hard time; fully knowing maybe what Emmett could resort to.

Jasper had great sympathy for Bella, too. I knew she hated sympathy but Jasper couldn't help it. None of us could. We were going to do what we could though to try to hide it as best as we could. Jasper was a big help to that. He had felt emotions of others who had been through this. He would do what he could to prevent her from anymore hurting. I had specifically asked him not to erase her pain completely. Not because that would be nice to give her a day away from the grief but because it would only hurt worse later. But that didn't mean I could ask him to eliminate _part _of it. And also much to my surprise he was just as worried about her as Emmett and Carlisle.

Carlisle also knew the truth. Carlisle was a doctor who had seen this happen to many people. This had happened to his wife in fact. But he had never really seen such a situation as this in action. He loved Bella as his own daughter, just as much as he loved Rosalie and Alice. He hated that people were causing her pain. But with his work schedule there was a limited amount of things he could really do. He felt very remorseful about something that wasn't his fault. Something he never had control over. Carlisle could be the dad Bella needed right now.

Whatever they were feeling for Bella it was only a quarter of what I felt. Esme was second in line after me. I wasn't really surprised. Esme loved everything living or none. But Bella was special to her. Special to everyone in our family. Esme had been through a similar situation. It gave her great pain to see this happen to a loved one. When I asked her what I should do all she said was 'just be there for her and don't push her'.

I was making my best effort. But it wasn't getting any easier. And what else wasn't getting easier was these retard, stupid, vile, immature, spoiled, little brats of this town. I hated every one of them. They were in excusable. They were just jealous was the stupid thing. The girls all wanted to date Nate and the guys just went along with the girls, they all made fun of Bella behind her back. Calling her names like slut, whore, tramp. Names they deserved. Not my perfect Bella.

Okay, so I over exaggerated a little bit. Not_ everyone_ was against Bella. I could name a few that weren't. Janelle Keeler, Kelci Hough, Ms. Gulf, Chad Keeler, Angela Webber, Ben Chevey, Mike Newton and a few others. But most were against her.

I now understood what Bella meant, _the girl is always to blame_. It seemed that way, though it shouldn't. Nate did get some rude comments and a few back stabbings. But nothing compared to Bella. She was getting a hell of a lot more than him. It hurt to see her being ridiculed like this.

I made me want to kill something. Someone one or anyone. Anything. One of these students or teachers. I wanted, for the first time in my existence, to be a murder.

Surely nobody would notice. I could cover my tracks well enough. Nobody would find out. Sure maybe the victim's family would be upset but death was a natural thing of life. It was supposed to happen. I would only prolong the process. And if it helped me help Bella it was worth it.

I would do anything at this point to help Bella. That's what she needed. Someone to help her through this. I also knew that she needed someone to tell her to talk about it. I needed to be that person. I hadn't heard her say a thing about it though. She never gave me any specifics. Just the main details.

Esme's words rang through my head. '_Don't push her'_ She had said. '_When she's ready she'll come to you'_

I couldn't help but want to defy them. I needed her to be better and she needed to be better.

I sighed. I wasn't even making sense to myself. I still had a strong feeling of anger. More anger than I have ever felt before. I wanted to scream and bite the principal's head off. Couldn't he stop this assembly? Sure he could. He was the one who organized it along with our vice principal and the other office workers. The key to it is he didn't _want_ to.

Mr. Greene and Charlie and most people in this idiotic community wanted Bella to suffer. It made me want to vomit, watching, but there was only so much I could do. I knew it wouldn't help to kill anyone. If it would have I believe I would have done it already.

Hell, if it would have helped, I would have let Bella shoot everyone one in this town in the head. But I knew it was pointless to think such violent things.

This wasn't even about me. Novalee wasn't my baby. But it was hurting the person I loved more than life itself. Bella. My world and my light. My own personal angel.

Mr. Greene was still ranting on about how teen pregnancies are to be avoided.

_No really. _Alice thought in her head. I almost laughed at my sister's sarcastic thoughts. She wasn't nearly as fuming as me but she was getting there. _I thought teen pregnancies were just so glamorous. I was going to try it but then I realized I was a vampire. My bad! _

I chuckled darkly. I wasn't worried about where Bella went when she ran out. I spotted Nate sneaking out a few minutes prior. I knew they were going to run onto each other in the hallway.

Somehow that didn't bug me as much as it used to. I didn't spend much time pondering why. I still wanted to kill something. Someone or anyone. Would it really matter? One of these humans surely would be easy enough to get over. People wouldn't really care for much more than a few months.

My family wouldn't rebuke me. We all-except for Carlisle- have had our fair sure of slip-ups. Nobody would judge me too harshly. They would all understand. If I lied to them. Maybe they would buy that I couldn't help my thirst anymore. Maybe they would be happy that it wasn't Bella at least.

But I also had to wonder. Was I as bad as Ryann, Nate's brother? He'd killed an innocent baby and that's what started this whole mess.

I listened into Mr. Greene again. "…. And as you know condoms are not that effective and not one hundred percent reliable. If you are going to have sex make sure it's one hundred percent safe."

I was lost now. If condoms and birth control pills are not one hundred percent accurate and the staff is saying that don't have sex unless it is completely safe, then what are they saying? Don't have sex at all? Yeah, that will work in teenagers.

It makes me so mad that these people are giving the stupidest assembly I think I have ever seen in my immortal or mortal life.

I couldn't take this anymore. I thought about sneaking out of the assembly. I focused in on Alice's mind.

_Go Edward. You wont get caught._ Alice already saw my plan.

I stood up from my seat and walked quietly out the door to the gym. I took the back door to the school that led to the back parking lot and closer to the woods.

I couldn't help myself. It was one thing to hear about the harassment that Bella receives through Alice's mind, though that was bad enough. And to hear it from her own father was terrible too. But to actually see it in action and feel totally helpless. That was a thousand times worse.

I was angrier than I have ever been. I ran through the woods at vampire speed now. I ran as deep into the forest as I could. My legs never got tired so it wasn't like I couldn't continue like this. I thought at I ran.

I still wanted Bella to see Carlisle about her hand. She may have hurt it badly. I sure hoped not, though. She had hit her hand on me this morning. I had been the one to cause her pain. I wished that at least one proportion of her pain wasn't my fault. That I could give her something normal in our relationship.

I bet Nate could. He had. I couldn't supply Bella with a baby. I couldn't give her a normal life with friends and her family. I couldn't give her a lot of things.

I stopped myself. It was no good to think bad thoughts. Bella needed me to be calm for her as a shoulder to lean on, not as an angry companion.

I envied Nate in more ways than I knew existed. I didn't dislike him; I just wished things were different. I wished him and Bella would never had met before.

Of course that was just wishful thinking. They had to meet, in order for Bella to move to Forks. I knew she would have never moved if not for her baby's death. I still didn't think it was worth it but Bella seemed to.

I will never understand the way Bella's mind worked. I liked the way it did though more than I probably should.

I also thought about those few humans who still liked Bella, somewhat. Kelci Hough was a great person. She was pretty, sweet and had a very genuine mind. She truly had sympathy for Bella at a time like this. Kelci also knew Bella, prior. Her father Mark Hough worked for Charlie down at the Police station. Kelci's older brother Chad was also like Kelci. He felt for Bella. Wished this terrible thing didn't happen to her and all that jazz.

Angela was no surprise. She was a genuine and unusually kind as they get. She cared for Bella and planned on being there. She was very angry with the stupid humans who wanted Nate. Mike was another person who didn't turn on Bella when the truth came out. But that was mainly because he was still attracted to her. He thought Bella was 'banging' apparently. I purposely had blocked his mind for quite some time. Still, try as I might, I still knew what he was thinking.

That didn't help my anger that was already flaring. I was pissed at everything that could possibly hurt something as pure and good as Bella. I continued to run, aimlessly for at least two more hours.

I wasn't actually sure how long I ran. After quite a while I came to an abrupt stop. I couldn't be sure why for a moment, and then I realized it. I had let my instincts take over. For once running hadn't calmed me and my animalistic habits took control.

I didn't know where I was or where I was going. I just sniffed the breeze once and knew what I was doing. There was one, unlucky human that stumbled into my path at the wrong time and was now bait to me.

I walked through the trees, silently. Nobody could have heard, even if they were vampires. I saw the victim. It was a male, mid thirties, dark scruffy hair, could use a good shower and shave. He was wearing a red hoodie with an egg stain on it and cut off pants that he had probably done himself with a pair of rusty scissors.

He had his side turned to me. I was still silent, so he hadn't taken notice to me.

Then I pounced…

In one second he became nothing more than a body. I snapped his neck in half and stared as the blood pooled out. It was rushing out faster than ever before, he would probably drain himself dry in a little while. If I didn't first.

But for some God forsaken reason, I couldn't find my thirst. Just my anger. I couldn't bring myself to drain his body; I could only find myself to want to snap more of his joints.

He was prey to me. And I was his predator. I remembered back to when I thought the same thing to Bella that strange first day in biology. That didn't help. Thinking of my love. It made me automatically restrain myself.

I felt immediately guiltier. I had taken an innocent life. A life that wasn't fully lived yet. I had killed someone just to get my rage out. What if this man's other half was out there, somewhere? I looked at his ring finger, as he lay in my arms. He had no wedding ring so he obviously wasn't married. But that didn't mean he wasn't in love. I wasn't married to Bella and I would littory die if someone ever took her life. The very thought made me snap this poor, doomed man's shoulder blade.

I sighed. Esme and Carlisle and everyone else would be disappointed in me. Bella would probably let me off the hook easily. But maybe she would surprise me. She does do that quite often.

I looked back down at the man. I sighed once again. What was done, was done. I still had plenty of rage left in me. I thought of every single human's face that was bugging me, individually. I thought of Mike's, Jessica's, Lauren's, Kalob's, Chelsea's, Violet and all the other irrelevant humans in the mix. Lastly I thought of Charlie. The horrible man who has pretty much abandoned his own daughter. The asshole.

As I thought of these humans I snapped a part or bone or joint in the victim's body. When all was done I decided before I returned to explain what I had doe to everyone I need to take out the rest of my anger. I walked over about ten yards away from the dead man, that was now lying on the forest floor.

I walked over to a tree and punched it for once not restraining myself. I didn't care anymore. The tree I hit fell over and hit anther tree tree, which hit a smaller tree. After all three trees were dead; I hit another and another and another. All together, counting the trees, which were knocked down by the others, I had killed fifteen trees.

I stepped back away from the destroyed forest. I glanced one last time at the broken body lying on the ground.

I was a monster. I hated myself with every fiber of my being. There was nobody on the planet that could hate anybody more than I hated myself.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, no way the body or person could ever understand how truly sorry I really was.

I pivoted and walked through the remaining trees and out the forest. I walked my way back to Washington. I was in no real hurry to get back. And I still need to calm down. I couldn't let Bella see me like this. I walked for about eight hours straight, never getting tired or needing to stop but I never sped up.

I made sure I was in one hundred percent control by the time I came in contact with the small town of Forks. I, of course, took an inconspicuous way back to my house. I'm sure I looked like hell. Sure enough I glanced at my hands and there was enough blood to fill another human body. And definitely enough to make Bella faint.

I didn't bother thinking about approximant time while I was away, so I really had no clue at all how long I was out. I looked for a clock around the house. There was a digital one in the entryway when I entered. It read 8:20 at night. I was surprised; I was gone longer than I thought. I wondered if I scared Bella by my absence.

I made my way to the bathroom, farthest from my bedroom. Nobody had made it clear that they were aware I was home. And I had no intentions of searching through minds at the particular moment.

I washed the blood off my hands and arms. I hoped Jasper was okay, knowing he could smell it. As I scrubbed the last bit off, the bathroom door opened.

"Where have you been, Edward!" Alice's voice was angry.

"I got tied up with some things" I didn't really want to talk about what I did at the moment. I knew eventually, though, I was going to have to face my family. Alice should have known better than anyone though. Why would _she_ ask?

"Not for my own personal interest" Alice guessed what I was thinking. "For your girlfriends" She said pointedly. "Bella has been freaking out all afternoon. She was crying, thinking you didn't want her anymore and a bunch of other irrational crap." I knew Alice's anger was directed at me, not Bella.

Her anger, plus mine was quite a lot. And they were both for me.

"We will talk about the murder you committed later." Alice gripped my wrist, shoving me out of the bathroom. "Right now, go take care of your girlfriend" She ordered. I did as I was told.

As I walked up the stairs, at a human pace, I listened in for any thoughts that may be helpful to how Bella was doing and what I should prepare myself to see.

I heard Jasper's mind coming from my bedroom with Bella. This surprised me. Jasper did everything in his power to keep his distance from Bella.

I opened my bedroom door, hesitantly. Jasper looked at me.

"It's about time you showed." He teased but I could still sense a bit of worry underneath his casual tone. He too was worried about where I went and what I did. I'm sure he could feel the remorse roll off of me.

Jasper stood up. He nodded in my direction, telling me he understood, He mused Bella's hair and then walked out the door. I wondered when those two got close. I didn't spend too much time thinking about that, though.

I turned my gaze to Bella. It was obvious she had been put to sleep by Jasper's gift. I walked over to her, appraising her position on the bed I bought for her. She was laying on top of the covers, instead of under them. Her hair was spread out on top of the pillow and she had tears stained to her face. I felt every bit of remorse I already had, double in on me. I hated myself for hurting her in anyway.

I knelt down by the bed. My hand brushed her hair back gently. Her scent didn't rip like flames through my throat anymore. It didn't affect me like it used to. Not the same way at least. I still tried not to think about it. It was easier to ignore though. Much easier.

She was still sobbing quietly as she opened her eyes. It broke my heart. Her eyes immediately flashed to mine and then her fragile hands- one of which was still in a bandage- went straight to my red t-shirt, clinging to me.

I bent down, and kissed the side of her face. I hoped I could bring some reassurance to her now. Bella still hung onto me for dear life. She hadn't done this since the night we came back from Italy.

"Baby" I said the nickname I recently started calling her, when she was really upset. "What's wrong?" I had concern in my eyes the whole time.

"I thought you weren't coming back," She sobbed as other tears leaked out.

**AN: Okay, also an important authors note. If you have any questions for me about this story, at any time, please feel free to PM me. Any kind of question is fine. I know I don't always explain everything clearly. And please leave a review. Thanks.**


	21. Chapter 20: Not Good Enough

**AN: Again, I'm sorry for not getting this up sooner. BUT I have been working on it for a pretty good two weeks. I tried to finish it last** **weekend but it didn't work out, obviously. Anyway, as you can see this is a long chapter so I want 16 reviews for it. PLEASE!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

Nate rocked me in his arms for a long time. It wasn't romantic or in any way would make me feel that I wasn't being loyal to Edward. It kind of reminded me of the way we were back in Arizona though.

Nate and Edward were similar in many ways. They both knew how to deal with me when I was upset. Most guys would completely back away and avoid you as soon as you started crying. Neither Nate nor Edward ever told me to shut up or knock it off as soon as I started having an emotional breakdown.

And I would understand actually if they did tell me to shut up or knock it off. Who would want to hang around a clingy, annoy girl who has no emotional control at all. Nobody I knew. Of course I also knew that Edward would never tell me to shut up or knock it off. That he would always hold me until I was done sobbing, unlike most guys I have ever met.

I didn't know if his kindness and endurance for putting up with my little episodes came from living with three women for the past fifty years, growing up in a different century where being a gentleman was pretty much required or if it was just Edward's personality in general. Still, he was the way he was.

Nate was the one to be unsure about. You would think he most likely would have been the one out of anyone who didn't want to deal with emotional trauma. Nate though was one of the few guys I have ever met who didn't back away from girl tears. Those few men being, Edward, Jacob, Nate, Ricky, Dustin, my cousin Lucas and Casey.

Nate and Edward were both very good at comforting me. It surprised me, actually. I had forgotten that Nate was the same way. I wondered, briefly, if there were certain qualities in men that I was attracted to.

I almost laughed. Was I really comparing whether or not Nate and Edward were similar. I still clung to Nate for dear life. I didn't think the assembly was over yet.

I wondered if Edward was wondering where I went or if he suspected that I was going to run into Nate. I hoped he didn't think I planned this. Alice couldn't assure Edward where I was because she can't see Nate.

I still wondered in the back of my mind why Alice couldn't see Nate if she could see me. It must be something different that prevents Edward from getting Nate's mind than it is with me. I didn't have the slightest clue to why either of our minds were sacred.

Would Novalee's be immune to Edward's power? Would she be immune to Alice's too? I may always wonder these things. Something else I was thinking about was Edward, at this current moment. Was he still in the assembly? Would he leave school without me? If he had already left then why hadn't I seen him? Did he take a different exit? Or was he just purposely avoiding me?

I stopped myself and tired to calm down. I was only freaking myself out. _Edward won't leave me again. He would tell me before he went somewhere,_ I told myself. He won't leave me.

By this time Nate was pulling me up. I figured the assembly was about to be over and Nate was trying to get out before everyone else. I was still sobbing. I couldn't help it. I had bottled this emotion up for too long. I hadn't cried for Nova for a long time.

I slipped up it realized. I called her Nova. I used to call her that before she…. I forced myself to think the word. Died.

That brought on a whole new round of hysteria. Nate didn't loosen his grip on me. As he stood up he pulled my into his side. I clung to him for dear life. There was no way I could calm myself. Nate pulled me towards the exit door of the building. I didn't know where he was taking me.

A few minutes later Nate came to an abrupt stop. I looked up. We were right in front of Rosalie's car. Alice was right at the passenger door, not yet in. In an instant Rosalie and Alice were both in front of me. Hovering.

I realized that Alice had called Rosalie and to pick us up. She must of left the assembly early. I looked around the parking lot. Edward's car was still there. But where was Edward? Was he mad that I was crying to Nate? I guess he could be. It would be understandable. I just brushed it off and didn't consider his feelings in the matter. I was a terrible girlfriend. Maybe those people were right about me. I was a slut.

But would Edward leave me again over it?

Nate pulled me tighter for one second then loosened his grip on me. I tried to pry my hand free of his shirt. Nate bent down for a second and kissed the top of my head. I felt Alice pull me away. I stayed frozen in place as Nate walked away.

Alice guided me to the backseat of Rosalie's BMW. She climbed in next to me. Rosalie got back into the driver seat. As she started the car Alice opened her arms to me. I crawled into her lap.

"Bella," Alice whispered, "What's wrong?" Her voice was deep with concern.

I just sobbed louder. "I….I..I miisss my babby.." I finally managed to choke out.

I tried to stop crying by the time we got to the Cullens'. Rosalie stopped the car and helped me out.

"Wait," I stopped Rosalie and Alice. "Do the boys know?" I asked, my voice was slightly better. I doubt any of the guys would mention it though, if my voice were still hoarse.

They shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, yes, Bella. They do. We thought it would be best just to tell them rather than make you relive it a third time" Rosalie finally answered.

Rosalie guided me into the house. Emmett and Jasper were playing _Halo_ on the couch.

They didn't seem to notice that I had entered. Or if they did they pretended they didn't. Rosalie cleared her throat, making our presence known.

Emmett looked up at us. "Bella!" he yelled, and in an instant I was swept up in his big arms the way a big brother hugs his sister when he hasn't seen her in five years.

"Put her down, Em. The poor girl needs to breathe." Rosalie said affectionately.

Emmett set me on my feet and looked into my eyes. I recognized the emotion of what I saw there in an instant. He knew everything. I shifted my weight from foot to foot, not sure what I should say.

"I'm guessing you know about my baby?" I asked Emmett.

"Yeah…." Emmett paused, collecting his thoughts. "I'm really sorry, Bells."

"It's fine," I said mechanically. Rosalie put her arm around me.

"Why don't we go into the next room?" She said to me. I nodded. I wasn't used to Rosalie being kind to me. I was used to her hard stares and cold remarks. It was going to take time. But only, would I accept it, if she wasn't just being nice to me out of pity.

Rosalie and me went downstairs to the Cullens' third TV room in the house. We sat down in silence, not actward, really just not talking. Rosalie flipped the channels until she found something she liked. I looked up. _Gossip Girl._ Was playing on the screen.

"You like Gossip Girl?" I asked, bewildered.

Rosalie looked at me, shocked. "Yes. Do you?" She asked. I nodded enthusiastically. "Are you serious!" Rosalie all but did a touch down dance.

"Yeah" _Gossip Girl_ was one of my favorite shows in Phoenix with Francia, Allie, Briee, Taylor and Dustin. Yes, Dustin. One of my guy friends.

"Oh my god! That is so cool! Alice and me are normally the only ones who like it. All the boys make fun of us and Esme thinks it's inappropriate." She laughed. "I actually didn't expect you to like something like that"

"I used to be absolutely obsessed when I lived in Arizona. All my guy friends made fun of me for liking it and my friend Millie always said it was sluts on parade." I told her some things about my past. Rose chuckled.

"Wow, you're going to be a perfect Cullen, aren't you?" She laughed once again, and then trained her eyes back on the TV.

I wondered why she all of a sudden became really accepting of me becoming a vampire and Cullen. I tried to focus back on the TV. This was a really intense episode for Chuck and Blair. I tried to be attentive but it was hard when one of the main characters was named Nate. **(AN: Haha. Joke)**

There was something else on my mind too. Where was Edward? Why did he leave without saying goodbye? Was he sick of me? Did he wish he had never come back in the first place? Was that why all the Cullens' were being nice to me? They felt guilty.

After twenty minutes of silence I spoke. "Rosalie?" I said in a small voice.

"Yeah," She said without turning away from the TV

I decided just to come out and say it, "Why are you being so nice to me. Not that I don't like it but why now? Why all of a sudden?"

It caught her off guard. She paused for a few minutes then turned off the TV.

"Bella," She started "First of all, I'm not really proud of how I was acting towards you. I just didn't want you to make a mistake like becoming a vampire. That's permanent and can't be taken back. But when I found out you had and lost a baby, I realized that you are old enough to make your own decisions. And quite frankly, you are a Cullen no matter what right now and it's about I accepted it." Rosalie smiled at the end

I was touched that she had accepted me even though I still planned to become a vampire and it wasn't out of pity. I couldn't doubt the sincerity in her voice. It was too good for her to be lying to me.

"Thanks" I whispered. She smiled at me. "What time is it?" I asked

Rosalie checked her cell phone. "Almost noon."

"Where is Edward?" I asked

Rosalie paused. She looked around, like she hadn't even noticed he was gone in the first place. "I actually don't know," She said sheepishly

Rose stood up and pulled me by my hand. We walked up stairs. "Emmy?" She called out. Emmett was before us in an instant.

"Yes, Rose?" He grinned for reasons I don't want to know

"Do you know where Edward went?" She asked

Emmett shook his head. "No, he didn't come home with you guys and he's not answering his cell phone" He stated, looking at me for less than a second then looking back at Rosalie.

Even though he didn't say it aloud, I knew what he was thinking. I still had to ask.

"When was the last time Edward didn't answer his phone?" I asked quietly looking at neither of them.

Rosalie shifted from foot to foot uncomfortable. Emmett answered me. "When we were away," He stated simply.

"No." I whispered, feeling like I got the breath kicked out of me. It felt like I had fainted but was still standing. Everything else felt far off.

"Bella" I heard Emmett call to me. "Bella, he didn't leave you again. I know that for sure." He tried to soothe my fears.

"But he's not answering his phone, he left without saying good bye" I tried to catch my breath.

"Actually, Bella, I did say goodbye to him" Alice seemed to appear out of nowhere.

Everyone turned to look at her. Rosalie was the first to speak.

"You were letting us freak out over here and you knew where he was all along!" She yelled. "You're just lucky Esme's not home because you know how worried she would have been and you would have been in trouble for keeping this to yourself." Rosalie still seemed like she was going to blow a fuse when she looked at me then back at Alice. "And what about Bella over here, who was about to pass out, all because you didn't tell her where Edward was!" At this point Jasper was standing right in front of Rosalie.

"Calm down, Rosalie! Knock it off. Alice hasn't said more than eight words and you're biting her head off!" Jasper stuck up for his wife.

Alice spoke up again. "I don't know where he is actually. I can only get certain glimpses of his future. I only saw him leave without getting caught." Alice explained. The tension didn't leave the room though for a few minutes. I turned towards the staircase.

"I'm going to go to Edward's room," I told them. I walked as slowly as possible to Edward's room, holding on to a false hope that he would be there when I got there.

Of course when I opened the door he wasn't there. I went over to his leather couch and sat down on it. I checked my cell phone. It was two minutes passed noon.

I wondered how my friends in Phoenix were doing. Were they in school? Did they have early release too? I wasn't brave enough to come into contact with another old friend. It took more courage than I had to call Ricky. I picked up the phone and dialed his number again. I needed to talk to someone.

He picked up after the second ring. "Hello, Princess" He said in a sing a song voice. Well kind of. A weird one.

"Hey, gay boy" I teased.

"Shut up. I'm not gay. Want to know how many girls I did while you were away?" Ricky asked.

"Hell, no! I didn't want to know that when I lived in Phoenix and I don't want to know it now." I laughed

"Didn't think you would" He chuckled.

"Are you in school?" I asked. It was after all, around noon.

"Nah, I decided not to go to school today" He said bluntly, I heard him chew something in the background. "Talked to Francia though. She really misses you a lot"

"Did you tell her that I called you?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Yep." Ricky stated blankly

"And?" I prompted

"Uh" I could tell he was shrugging. "You'll find out" He was probably smiling.

"I wish I could punch," I said with no emotion in my voice

"Yeah, like that would hurt" Ricky said sarcastically.

"It would" I stated, confident

"I'm sure," He sounded smug

"Just ask Nate" I smiled now

There was a brief silence between us. Then I heard a loud laugh.

"Oh yeah! You bruised his jaw when we were fourteen! I had completely forgot about that."

I chuckled darkly. "And I have gotten stronger!"

"Is your boyfriend a muscle builder?" I could tell he was smiling again.

"No, but his brother is" I decided to mention Emmett

"Where are you?" He asked randomly.

"The Cullen Mansion" I said blankly

"Mansion? So _the boy_ has got money?" I laughed at how he said _the boy._

"More or less" I shrugged

"Has he bought you a rock yet?" Ricky asked. I didn't know if he was referring to an engagement ring or just jewelry. I decided to go with just jewelry.

"He wishes," I laughed

Ricky did too. "I remember Nate wasn't aloud to buy you anything too expensive either. That's because you think that it throws off the balance in the relationship, right?"

"Yep." I didn't have to explain anything to Ricky. "Are you and Francia still…" I trailed off. I didn't know what to call them. Bed Buddies? That was the phrase that Chelsea used for me and Nate. It was more appropriate for Ricky and Francia, though. I decided to go with that. "Bed Buddies"

Ricky laughed. "Nice one, shorty" He called me a nickname only he referred to me as. Ricky and Nate was the only one I used to allow to call me shorty since I was five. Charlie made up the nickname for me when I was younger.

"Don't call me that!" I yelled into the phone. Reflex reaction.

I realized something else. Charlie was the first one to call me Princess. He called me that until I turned eight. Around that point he started becoming more distant from me and then it was down hill from there. It's been getting even worse from the time I was eleven until now.

"Sorry, Princess." He apologized. Ricky changed the subject, knowing not to push me on this kind of stuff. He knew if I wanted to talk about it I would come to him. "But anyway, me and Coco haven't hooked up in about a week"

"What a record for the two of you" I teased

"Well, when was the last time you and that Edward guy had sex. Or made love. Or whatever you like to call it" Ricky chuckled

"I have never had sex with Edward." I told him. I wouldn't have told anyone else that. Not even someone else from our group in Phoenix. Maybe Francia but nobody else. But Ricky was my best friend. There wasn't anything we didn't talk about.

"Aw, tough break for him" Ricky mocked me

I decided to point something out. "Yeah, well you know. You can never be too safe. Condoms are only ninety eight percent preventable, and if you used it wrong it goes down to eighty five percent"

"Thanks for the safe sex lesson, _mom_" Ricky teased

"Your welcome, _son_" I went along with his joke

We both laughed for a while. We talked about everything. Homework, TV, friends, his dates, his parents, my parents. Everything.

By the time I looked at the clock on the other side of Edward's room- why does he even have a clock. I have never seen his check the time before- it read three forty two. It was a little after noon when I called. Wow. We talked for a long time.

My only concern now was, where the hell is Edward. We got out of school hours ago!

"Hey, Isabel, is there something bothering you?" Ricky asked. I rolled my eyes.

Him and me always knew when something is up. You would think having a guy for your best friend would make avoiding your problems easier. But no! Not with Ricky.

"I'm just worried about Edward" I confined in him.

"What do you mean, Princess? Is something wrong?" He sounded worried

"He didn't come home from school today and I'm worried about where he is." I explained

"Did you two have a fight?" Ricky asked

"No"

"But you said you're at the Cullen Mansion" Ricky sounded confused. I suppose it is kind of confusing to an outsider.

"I'm really close to his family and I didn't want to go to home when the last thing I knew was that my dad was still there" Ricky didn't actually know Charlie by his first name, so I had to call him dad.

"You're still not close to your dad? You two didn't make up after what happened this morning." Ricky asked

"No" I stated blankly. Why would we?

"I just thought you might be considering you live with him" He explained his assumption

"You live with your father. Are you close to him?" I turned the question around

Ricky didn't miss a beat. "Hells, no! I guess I see your point. So," Ricky got back to our original conversation. "What were you doing when Edward disappeared?"

"I was with Nate. Crying" I told him without thinking. Something I rarely do.

"Nate made you cry?" He asked, protectively

"No" I said

"Then why were you?" He asked, obviously curious

All I had to do was say one word. Though it got caught in my throat quite a few times before I managed to choke it out. "Novalee"

Ricky paused. Then he got back to his questions to help me find Edward. He probably figured he didn't need to make me cry again by making me talk about it. "Who was the last person with him?"

"His sister Alice, but she said she saw him go, just not where he went."

Ricky thought about that for a few minutes. "It sounds to me like you just need to calm down and let Edward come back on his own." He gave me his opinion.

I sighed. "It's harder than you think." I whined, not caring that I sounded like an immature brat. Ricky would never judge me. "Just waiting and waiting. Not knowing what's going to happen in five minutes or five years" I didn't actually know by this point what situation I was referring to. There were too many.

"Hey, Bella," Ricky broke me out of my train of thought. The name Bella on Ricky, Nate, Allie, Mason, Francia or anyone in our friends' lips sounded off to me. "Has Edward ever left you before?" He asked, timidly. He probably guessed from my tone and by knowing how freaked I was.

"Yes." I replied after a minute. I was talking above a whisper but below a normal volume. I'm sure if any of the Cullens' wanted they could still eavesdrop, even if they were at the other side of the house. "Edward left me once before. Last September. After my eighteenth birthday. He didn't come back for seven months. He and his family just picked up their stuff and took off without more than thirty seconds notice." I wasn't sounding angry. I was just explaining this to Ricky as if I was telling him the weather in Forks.

"Sounds like you haven't gotten over that fear, Princess" Ricky replied.

"What's that supposed to mean!" I snapped

Ricky was quiet once again. It was starting to get on my nerves. I realized now that if I was talking to him in person, he would have that look on his face, where he just stared at you and his eyes were kind of set down. It sounds a lot creepier than it is. A lot of girls found it sexy. I didn't. I never really found Ricky sexy. I mean sure he was hot but I would never date him. Even before I met Edward. Ricky's just my best friend. Nothing else.

"I think you need to just wait it out, Isabel and Edward will come back. He probably had something bugging him today, that's all" Ricky spoke up after a moment.

I rolled my eyes. "I know what was bugging him," I mumbled, to nobody in particular. But Ricky still caught it.

"What was bugging him?" Ricky asked

"Me" I laughed without humor. "I am the worst girlfriend in the history of forever" I shared

"Did Edward tell you that? Because if he did, Princess, then maybe he's not the best person to be in a relationship with." Ricky pointed out. I knew Ricky wasn't trying to say anything about Edward. He's just really over protective of me.

"Edward never said that to me." I sighed "Just the opposite actually. He treats me like I really am a Princess"

"Good, that's the kind of boyfriend that you need." I could tell he approved

"Thanks for the approval, _dad_" I laughed

"You're welcome, _daughter_" He laughed too.

I made a face. "It doesn't have the same ring to it," I pointed out

"I'll work on it" Ricky promised

I looked, once again, at the clock. It was almost four thirty.

"I better go before I use up all your minutes," I said to Ricky

"Okay, I love you" Ricky replied

"I love you too" I pressed the hang up button. The second I hung up, Alice walked in.

She was carrying a drink, which I figured was for me since she can't keep anything that a human would even consider drink down and I highly doubt she'd want to.

"So you love that Ricky guy?" Alice asked, obviously trying to make conversation.

"Yeah. But not like that" I replied nonchalantly. "Ricky's been my best friend since I was thirteen" I met Ricky through Nate.

Alice faked a hurt look. "I thought I was your best friend, Bella," She teased

I leaned over and hugged her. "You are. One of them" I assured her. She giggled and handed me my cup. It was full of some fancy drink that I didn't care enough to ask about

"One of the what, fourteen?" Alice teased me about the number friends I had.

"You're just jealous because I used to be popular." I taunted.

"Used to be," She pointed out. Then I saw her face change as soon as she said the words. She was thinking of those kids at school.

"Alice, it's okay. You don't need to walk on egg shells around me" That was the last thing I wanted. To have the Cullens watch their every move around me.

"Edward told us to not upset you, that all." She informed me. What! When did he tell her that?

"Forget it, Alice. As much as Edward may believe it, I am not made of glass. I won't break that easily." I know Edward cares; he's just too over protective sometimes.

"Edward and me both know that, Bella. He thinks you're the strongest person he's ever met. And so do I"

"Why" My eyebrows shot up

"I don't know anyone who could handle what has happened to you, as well as you are handling it." She told me

"Alice-" I started

"Let's change the subject, Bella, okay" Alice interrupted me.

I thought for a minute about what to talk about. "Do you know where Edward is?" I had to ask

"No. The only vision I keep on getting is that he's running through a forest. But that's all I can get. He hasn't made up his mind to do anything." Alice stated blankly. I wondered what she was keeping from me. "Let's go downstairs," Alice suggested after a moment.

I nodded, not speaking. Alice took my hand and pulled me off the bed. When we arrived at the living room, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie were already there. The boys were playing _Halo_ again. Rosalie smiled at Alice and me. Alice went to the kitchen to drop my now empty cup off.

I sat next to Rosalie. "Who's winning?" I asked

"Jasper" Rosalie told me.

"Not for long!" Emmett shouted.

"You know it's not really necessary to shout when we are all in the same room," Rosalie pointed out to her husband.

"Sorry, babe" He said not taking his eyes off the screen

Jasper's player killed Emmett's. "Haha, I won" Jasper cheered.

"Lucky game." Emmett grumbled. "I want a rematch."

"Nah, I don't think so" Jasper smiled, knowing it was going to tick Emmett off.

"Anyone else want to play me?" Emmett asked, looking between Rose and me.

Rose shook her head. " No" She said in a final tone.

Emmett looked at me doubtfully. Like he didn't think I could play. I'd show him. I knew how to play. I played in Phoenix a couple of times with Nate, Ricky and Francia. And I sat on Edward's lap while he played Emmett or Jasper before.

I grabbed the controller from Jasper. It was freezing because of the temperature of his hands.

"You're going down, baby sister" Emmett taunted. I rolled my eyes, knowing I probably was.

"I got one hundred bucks on Bella," Jasper said to Rosalie. I was surprised by his confidence in me.

"You're on. Emmett's been playing this game since it came out. He's going to win" Rosalie seemed to have unwavering confidence in Emmett.

Two hours later, it was our fourth game and I had won the first and second.

"Almost done!" Emmett said. Then I killed his player. "NO!" He screeched.

"Emmett, we are all in the same room as you" Esme, who had come out of the kitchen with Alice, scowled him.

"Sorry" He mumbled along with a string a curse words. I turned and saw three very shocked vampires.

"What?" I asked

"You just beat Emmett. It took me five years to beat him at any video game" Jasper said,

"I just gave up," Alice said

"Wow, little baby Bella just beat Emmett." Rosalie said. I stuck out my tongue at her. She laughed and so did I. I have no idea when her and me got on a friendship basis but somehow we did and I hope we stay this way.

"I'm not a baby" I whined

"In this family, compared to the rest of us you are." Jasper said

"Compared to you guys everyone in this town is a newborn baby," I pointed out. Everyone just stared at each other for an approximate time of three seconds. Then we all just started laughing.

I didn't laugh as hard as everyone else because it clicked all of a sudden what our conversation had been about. Babies. I felt a lump form in my throat.

"Bella, what's wrong" Jasper asked. "I felt the depression roll of off you instantly." I just merely shook my head at all four vampires- counting Esme, who had just joined our conversation.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said in a quiet voice,

"You were thinking about Edward, weren't you?" Alice asked

I paused briefly. I hadn't been, actually. "No. It wasn't. But where is Edward?" I asked for what felt like the hundredth time today.

Rosalie glared at Alice. "Thanks, Alice, now you made her worry again," She whispered, probably not intending for me to hear. But if she didn't want me to hear than she would of spoken in vampire speed. I didn't think about this very long though.

"I'm sorry, I'm being really needy and annoy with Edward not around" I looked at my feet.

Rosalie spoke up. "I didn't mean it like that, Bella. Besides I'm more ticked at Edward than anyone else. I mean who just gets up and leaves with no notice to their family beside Edward Cullen" She ranted.

I nodded. "I'm going to go upstairs." I told them.

"Oh, no. Not so fast, dear" Esme grabbed me by the waist. She sounded like a mother, the way they talk to their own children. "You need to get some food in your belly, Bella"

I sighed. I knew she was right. I hadn't eaten since last night because I skipped breakfast after my fight with Charlie, then the school skipped lunch to go to that pointless assembly that I ditched halfway through. I was actually starving.

Esme guided me through the kitchen. She seated me at the big dinning room table. She was gone and back before I could swallow. On the plate there was three taco, made perfectly. I didn't realized how hungry I was until my stomach growled.

Esme laughed and went to a different room to clean up. Emmett made a mess apparently when I beat him at _Halo_. I giggled thinking about it. I gobbled the three tacos then went back up to Edward's room.

I went over to the bed and laid down, on top of the covers instead of underneath. I stared at the ceiling. I don't know how long I stared up; I just know quite some time later there was a knock on the door.

"Bella," Jasper's voice said through the other side of the door.

"Yeah?" I asked

"Can I come in?" He asked

"Yeah?" It sounded like a question again.

He came in and appraised my position on the bed. After an actward minute he came and sat next to where I was laying on my back.

"I just wanted to say that you don't need to worry. Edward will be home soon" Jasper tried to convince me.

"How can you be so sure" I asked, cynically.

"I just know. Edward wouldn't leave you unless he had a very good reason." Jasper explained

"Yeah." I was still pessimistic. "Well, did he have a good reason last September?" After the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I saw how my words shocked Jasper.

I knew why. I normally told everyone I understood why they left. I never once have ever blamed anyone. Especially not Edward. I don't even know why I even said what I did. I wasn't mad at Edward or any one of the Cullens. I just blurted it out.

Jasper looked down at his lap. "I'm sorry" He said after a minute.

"Why?" I asked

"Because we left after I almost killed you. You didn't deserve to pay for my mistake or weakness." I could tell he still felt guilty.

I felt guilty too. I should never have said anything. I didn't even feel any animosity to any one of the Cullens. I should have thought before I spoke.

"Bella, I know Edward will come home," Jasper told me.

I shook my head. "He's been gone for hours, Jasper. What if he decided to leave again? And it will be all because of me." I whispered. I felt the tear well up in my eyes.

Jasper's expression became horrified. He grabbed my hand. "Bella, Edward would never leave you again. He loves you, just like I love Alice." I was surprised by his words and the gesture of holding my hand. Jasper always avoided me, even more so since my birthday. I never expected to ever be on a friendly, brotherly basis with Jasper, the way I was with Emmett.

"You are really convinced that he'll come home" My voice was still uneven.

"Yes." He said simply but I still couldn't trust it. The Cullens were very convincing and talented liars when they wanted to be. "You seem really convinced that Edward's not coming home," Jasper pointed out

"I'm just a little human girl. What's so special about me that could make Edward hang on to me?" I said as if I was telling him the sky is blue.

"You are more special than any other human. And you're the strongest human- or person for that matter- me or any of us have ever met. And Edward loves you insanely." Jasper pointed out. "You brought him back to life. And it killed him to walk away from you. It killed him, Bella."

I nodded, not trusting my voice. But there was one question I had to ask. "Why are all of you saying, you think I'm the strongest human you have ever met?"

"Because you have dealt with more in your life than most people deal with in all of theirs" Jasper said simply

I just shook my head. "Jasper, he'll never come back for me," I whispered.

Why would Edward? All I am is a slutty, poor, bad parented, stupid, no good, nothing, bitch. Who would want that?

"Edward was right. She never sees herself clearly." Jasper mumbled, not to loud but I was smart enough to know that he probably wanted me to hear. I knew, Jasper could probably feel the self hate come off of me, but by this point he knew that it was pointless to argue with me.

After a few minutes of silence, Jasper spoke. "Edward came back, Bella," He sounded smug, like he won a bet. "He's home. Downstairs."

My eyes widened. My eye filled up with more tears. Not unhappy ones though. I was astonished that he even came home. It gave me hope he wasn't completely feed up with me.

Once Jasper felt the powerful emotions coming out of me, he stilled. I realized he was using his gift of calming on me. After a few seconds I was somewhere between sleeping and awake.

I just sat there, enjoying the silence. Of course I would have been obnoxious, if Jasper hadn't been there. I still wondered, in an involuntary peaceful manner, where Edward was? Was he really avoiding me, even in the same house as me? Did he wish I wasn't here?

I heard in a faint distance, a door slide smoothly open, over the carpet. And then I sensed another presence.

"About time you showed" Jasper said, teasingly. And I knew in an instant that Edward had arrived. I wanted to speak up or, at least, look at Edward's perfect face. But Jasper's gift kept me prisoner.

A moment later, I felt Jasper's hand ruffle through my hair. I couldn't hear him leave but I felt another body knelt down next to me. Edward's hand brushed against my hair. Brushing it out of my face. I opened my eyes slowly. Hesitantly. I wasn't at all sure what his reaction might be.

But when I opened my eyes, Edward was there, staring at me. His eyes held no signs of impatience pr anoyance. Just two things I easily recognized. Love and concern. In that second I realized how stupid I was. He wasn't going to leave me after all. I was a complete idiot. I shouldn't of doubted Edward.

Still, try as I might to convince myself that he was here to stay, I still couldn't let him go. I had to make sure he was real.

I gripped onto his loosely fitted t-shirt. I held on with all the might I had. Which was slightly difficult with one of my hands being in a bandage.

Edward kissed down the side of my face. I knew now he was trying to calm me. Where was Jasper when you needed him?

"Baby" He used his cute new nickname from me. A lot of guy actually used that nickname for me. But when it came off Edward's lips, in his silky, velvet voice, it was even better. "What's wrong?" His eyebrows pulled together, in concern.

I had forgotten I was still crying. Most of my tears were dried up on my face now, though. "I thought you weren't coming home," My voice croaked.

**AN: 16 reviews. The sooner I get 16, the sooner the next chapter will be up. Tell me what you think. Oh and if you have any questions, PM me please. :)**


	22. Chapter 21: Raspberries

**AN: So I already have the next chapter done. I'm still doing a few revisions, but I am pretty much done. Thank you for your patience with me when I take more than two weeks to update. Really I'd try to update more often but between school, friends, church and sports, it's hard. And I really don't want the chapters to suck. LOL.**

I clung to him. Oh, I clung to him for dear life. I couldn't bring myself to let go. I couldn't unhook my fingers from each other. I couldn't unlock my chock hold I had on Edward's neck. I couldn't let go of him, for fear that once I did, he'd disappear.

"Oh, baby, I would never leave you again" Edward swore. He lifted me out of the bed and pulled me down to him so that I was straddling his lap.

"Edward" I whimpered.

"Shh" He hushed me. I took in deep breaths, trying to calm myself. Once I figured I could talk normally, I spoke.

"Where were you?" I asked, as a question not an accusation.

"I was…. running" Edward said slowly.

"All this time?" I asked, shakily.

"Bella," Edward paused, collecting his thoughts. "I did something that I shouldn't have"

"Like what?" He had to give me more than that. Something more detailed. Edward looked down at his lap, ashamed.

I was slightly afraid now, of what Edward might have done. Did he go to someone? Did he run to Tanya's? I couldn't blame him if he wanted someone a little less high mantises than me. What did he do with her?

He sighed. "I killed someone, Bella," My eyes widened at his words.

I mean, I always knew what he was capable of. He was a vampire after all. But I never in a million years expected him to slip up. Was it because of me? Was he taking his anger out on someone else when it really belonged to me?

He looked up at my face. I guessed it looked a little horrified. Okay, a little more like shocked.

Edward threw his face into his hands. "I don't deserve to live," He whispered

I knew immediately that he needed me to be strong for him at the moment. He was always there when I needed him and now he needed me. I had to make him see reason; to see what he had done wasn't so bad. I mean, he could have killed people like any other vampire. Edward chose, along with the rest of the Cullens, to be better than he had to be. On a daily basis he proved that by just being around me.

I felt guilty for crying. Edward needs a strong girlfriend and I was being a whiny one. I felt like I was being a selfish person.

But I still couldn't shake my one question. Why did Edward kill a human in the first place? I knew it probably wasn't out of thirst, since he just hunted. Was it out of anger? Was it something I did? Was it because of Nate? I knew he handled my past a little too well. He handled it better than what any person could ever dream of dealing with this situation.

I knew one thing though. I had to be strong for him.

I gripped his arm, which was still covering his face, as tightly as I could with my good hand. I knew I wouldn't hurt him. "Edward Anthony Mason Cullen" I spoke his full name.

Edward didn't let his arm budge. I tugged on it more. "Edward," I groaned. "Look at me" I commanded.

His hand loosened and made it possible for me to pull off. "Thank you" I said mechanically. I grabbed his chin and pulled it towards me. I held back a gasp, when I looked into his ruby red eyes. I don't think he noticed.

"Edward, I love you. I would never judge you. You don't need to be ashamed for giving into your nature." I reminded him softly.

"But, Bella, I killed someone. Someone who may have had a family or friends or others who cared about him" He looked like if it were possible, he'd be crying.

I couldn't take it anymore. I cry a lot. I suffer and I sob. My own pain for me is never really easy to deal with, just impossible to avoid. Edward's pain, I couldn't take. I grabbed him and pulled him into my chest.

To my surprise he didn't fight me. Edward obeyed and wrapped his arms firmly around my waist. We rocked back and forth on the bed with his head resting on my shoulder. I thought about the two seconds I looked at his face. He had a look that I had never seen before. It reminded me of a little boy. Edward never reminded me of a little boy. He was always the strong one. Edward never was weak. It was always me who was crying or upset or in danger. I never realized that it could be Edward hurting just as much as it could be me.

I felt terrible. If this is how Edward felt when he was holding me when I was upset, then I was so sorry. I would make the point of apologizing later. I could not believe that he put up with this from me constantly. I felt so helpless and useless. I squeezed Edward tighter, hoping that it would comfort him.

After a while, though I had no idea what the actual time was, Edward pulled away.

"Bella, can I see your hand?" Edward asked randomly, though I knew where this was going. But Edward seemed to have composed himself.

I thrust my damaged hand towards Edward. He touched it, only putting the lightest pressure on the wound. Still, when he reached the tender spot on the side of my wrist, I whimpered.

Edward's head shot up. "Where does it hurt most, Bella?" His face looked determined as he stared down at my hand.

"The side down my wrist." I said, my voice strained.

Edward nodded. "I'm taking you to see Carlisle" He said as a statement not a question but not quite an order.

Still, Edward stuck his hands under my legs and back and lifted me into his arms. He carried me to Carlisle's study.

"When did Carlisle get home?" I asked on the way down the hall.

"Twenty minutes ago. He worked a late shift at the hospital." Edward elaborated slightly. I didn't care enough to press for more details.

Edward kicked the door open and walked into the room, full of books and paintings, with me still in his arms. Carlisle turned to us.

He didn't look surprised to see us there, so I'm guessing he heard our conversation.

"What can I do for you guys?" Carlisle asked, slightly tense. Edward set me down in a comfy chair.

"Check her hand" Edward said quietly, then mumbled something vampire speed to Carlisle. Carlisle nodded to whatever he said.

I didn't care to ask either. I figured it was about Edward's slip up. I wondered for a micro second what the Cullens would do about it.

Carlisle turned to me. He smiled a wonderful, smile full of youth. "Hello Bella, it's nice to see you."

I tried to smile but didn't succeed. Carlisle chuckled at my grimace. "Let me see your hand" He reached for it. Edward walked to my side as he unraveled the ace bandage. Carlisle must have said something in his mind to Edward because I could see him shake his head.

Once my wrist was bare, I gasped. It was really torn up. I had really done some damage.

I heard Edward take an intake of breath as Carlisle inspected it.

"Okay, Bella, this may hurt by I need to see if there is anymore broken glass in your wound that Edward may have missed." He explained. I nodded.

I reached my free hand over for Edward's. He gladly gave it to me. I knew Carlisle was being as gentle as he could so I tried to be as strong as I could but it was hard when I felt him pinch down my arm for more glass deeper in the wound. It hurt though.

"Okay, well there is only one piece left. It seems Edward got all the rest at school today." Carlisle informed me.

I nodded and squeezed Edward's hand. Carlisle pinched and prodded the glass up my arm further. I winced once. Edward's other hand combed through my hair.

"Shhh, love, it's almost over." Edward tried to soothe me. After a few minutes Carlisle pulled out a big chunk of glass.

"Damn" Edward cursed. "It was bigger than I thought," He mumbled, his hand still combing through my hair.

Carlisle put some ointment on my wrist and wrapped it in a hospital bandage.

"I think that should do it" Carlisle said after he finished his work. "Try not to bang your hand through too many more mirrors, Bella" Carlisle winked at me. I blushed.

"I'll try," I giggled. Edward rolled his eyes. As soon as Carlisle was out of the room, Edward scooped me up into his arms.

"Come here, you" Edward's velvet voice said in my ear and the next thing I know, I'm airborne. I didn't have time to scream. Edward protected me from hitting my head on the leather sofa that was in the middle of Carlisle's study.

I landed on his lap, my head on Edward's shoulder. I glared up at him.

"That wasn't funny" I stated, falsely angry. Most of it was a joke anyway. Edward knew it.

"It was funny and you know it" He quoted me from a long time ago. Near the beginning of our relationship.

I paused for a minute, thinking about back then. "Did you ever think that when I walked into the biology lab, that nearly two years from then, you'd be on the couch, in your father's study with me?" I asked randomly. I was genuinely curious and he made me promise to tell him what was on my mind more often.

Edward looked into my eyes affectionately. "No" He stated, ruffling my hair. "And I never in a million years thought I could do this." Edward leaned in so that our lips locked.

I wasn't about to pass up the opportunity. I wrapped my arms around his neck and straddled his lap. I pushed my lips harder against his, asking for more. Edward mimicked my motion. He pushed my head back, kissing me harder. Causing me to lean back farther.

I don't think he or I were prepared for it when I toppled onto the floor. I guess we weren't paying attention. I laid on the floor, guessing my expression was pretty wide eyed and shocked.

"Are you alright?" Was Edward reflex reaction.

"Yeah" I said in an uneven voice. Then, when Edward's worry had set in, he obviously found the situation pretty hilarious. My expression hadn't changed, but his sure had. It went from worry and concern to amusement and humor.

Then Edward was laughing out loud. He was practically rolling on the floor.

"Shut up" I raised my foot to kick him but missed. Edward's face would have been red if he were human from the laughing and to the lack of oxygen that was impossible to get while laughing so hard.

"Bella, you should have seen your face. It was so hilarious." Edward flashed me his crooked smile.

"Shut up" I said again. I don't know when I have ever said shut up to Edward other than right before I hurt my hand in my bedroom this morning.

"You would have laughed too, love" Edward commented. I glared at him for a minute then put my face into a pout. The one thing I knew he couldn't resist. I, dramatically, turned away from him, which was easy because he was still on the sofa and I was on the floor. I was now on my stomach.

I felt barely a whoosh of wind and then I felt Edward on top of me, straddling my back. "Bella," He groaned, dipping his face into my hair, "baby, please smile for me." He pleaded,

There it was again. The pet name, baby. He just said it when he was trying to calm me or sweet talk me. Well it wasn't working this time. Even if his voice did remind me of velvet or if he was dazzling me. It wouldn't work.

"Nope" I said childishly.

"Well then I'm just going to have to make you, aren't I?" I could hear a smile in his voice, though I had no idea what he was talking about.

I felt butterfly kisses on the back of my neck. I wasn't giving in. Then I felt them trail down further. To wear my shirt covered down my back. I felt Edward's lips stop moving and his hands start. Edward reached and pulled my shirt up to the top of my shoulders.

I bit back a gasp. He never did things like this. I felt his long fingers slide down my back. It tickled. I realized that was his intention. Then like magic both of his hands started moving very quickly up and down my back, tickling me in every spot there was. I squealed.

"Stop" I gasped, while giggling, out of breath.

"Stop what?" He acted as if he didn't know. I rolled my eyes.

"You know what" I said in a matter a fact tone.

"Oh I do?" He taunted.

There was a one second period from the time the words left his mouth to when his fingers returned to my sides. I squealed again and this time squirmed. When I squirmed I accidentally pulled my head out of my shirt.

I didn't pay much notice though. I was too busy trying to get away from Edward's musical fingers, which were now attacking me. I knew, secretly though, that I like it.

I tried to free my arms to fight him off. I pulled them from of my shirtsleeves and flipped on my back so that I could fight back. I don't think he noticed that I took my shirt completely off. It must have slid to somewhere across the room.

Edward attacked my sides as soon as I flipped over, my second most ticklish spot. Then Edward discovered my first. He started tickling my underarms. I was immediately glad that I had remembered to shave this morning.

I screamed and squirmed and wiggled, but Edward was straddling me. I giggled constantly after that. He never grew tired but my sides were really starting to kill me.

"Okay, okay" I caved. "You win" I looked up into his golden eyes. He was happier than I'd seen him in a long time.

Then his eyes trailed down. It set in to me then that I wasn't wearing a shirt. I blushed, thinking he was staring at my chest but he wasn't. He was staring at my tummy. I didn't know what he was looking at. I just then realized he could be staring at my belly button.

My friends and me, at fourteen, all went to a guy at school and paid him to pierce out belly buttons. Renee found out and wasn't too happy. I'm talking grounded for two months not happy. It was a rare time when she actually used her parental voice and attempted to be a normal mother. And she was pissed. But luckily, for me, Renee didn't find out for three months. By the time she found out, I could easily take my belly ring in or out. And it has never once got infected. So the guy I went to must have known what he was doing. Right?

I never told Charlie. Ha! Like I would tell him anything.

Then something broke me out of my train of thought. I felt Edward's mouth on my lower stomach. And I heard a wet sound.

"Did you seriously just blow a raspberry on my tummy?" I asked bewildered.

"Is that what they're called now-a-days?" Edward asked innocently.

I shoved against his chest, teasingly. He put his hands flat on the floor on each side of my head. Edward's mouth moved to my shoulder, less than an inch to where my bra strap laid. He blew another raspberry there. Then he went down to the exact middle of my tummy and blew.

I screamed each time and giggled right after. He blew one on my hip and on my waistline. Then he trailed kisses up to my neck. He looked into my eyes when he was done and grinned.

I'm guessing my face looked red from the amount of giggling and squealing I was doing.

Edward leaned down and kissed my forehead, gently, then both my cheeks, my nose and my chin.

Then the door flew open and revealed Emmett. He had a wide grin on his face.

"I thought I heard a bear attack in here" I blushed at Emmett's next words. "Nice attire, Bells."

I realized then I was in my plaid bra Alice had picked out for me this morning. I partly wondered if she saw this moment coming. I doubted it somehow, knowing Alice she would have put me in the most revealing lace Victoria's Secret could offer.

My cheeks burned as I turned my head to see where my shirt had gone. Emmett laughed his booming laugh. I looked up at Edward who was still on top of me. He pushed himself off the ground and stood up straight, not meeting Emmett's eyes. He didn't wait for me to get up; instead he lifted me up by my underarms and pulled me to his chest, so that my back was facing Emmett. He wrapped his arms firmly around me, protecting me from Emmett's gaze.

"Leave" Edward ordered Emmett. Emmett laughed, another, big throaty laugh.

"Come on, Ed, it was just getting good." Emmett teased but I knew Edward's low tolerance for the nickname Ed. Emmett just got himself kicked out that much quicker.

Edward mumbled something vampire speed that I couldn't comprehend. Emmett mumbled something back, rolling his eyes as he walked out the door, shutting it behind him.

I pulled away from Edward, still embarrassed. I went looking around the room for wherever I threw my top.

"Looking for this, sweetheart?" Edward asked me. He spun me around by the waist. Edward had my top in his hand. "It was by the door," Edward explained.

"Thanks" I said, avoiding his eyes. He wouldn't need Jasper's gift to feel the chagrin rolling off of me.

"Emmett was being a loser, Bella. Nothing to be ashamed of" Edward soothed me. I didn't respond. "And he saw nothing" He offered after a minute of silence.

"Did you?" I whispered, knowing he heard me

He didn't answer right away. I looked him in the eye. He shrugged. "I tried to respect your privacy. Really" Edward looked guilty.

"It's okay. We have been dating for quite a while. And it's not really a secret that I wish we had already gone all the way." I babbled, trying to ease his guilt. It worked slightly.

"You and me both" He laughed quietly, more at ease now. Edward positioned my arms above my head and slipped the light blue tank top on me.

"Edward" I started in a small voice. "Do you ever think that me and you could, you know, have sex" I felt like a total moron for asking but I couldn't help it. Edward looked at my face for a minute, looking for something he obviously found, there in my face.

I felt his lips on mine, a quick peck. "I wish, Bella, truly I do. Every day, I wish I could give you a decent relationship. A normal one. But I won't risk you, Sweetie. You mean too much to me." Edward's eyes bore into mine. Begging for an understanding.

And I did understand. I really did. I would just have to wait.

**AN: There you go. Okay, let me just say that the Edward/Bella moment at the end was one of my favorites and funnest to write. Okay, I only need five revies, then I'll update ASAP. Love ya'll.**


	23. Chapter 22: Surprise Visit

**AN:Okay I probably should have updated sooner but last week was hecktic. I turned 14, got my braces off, and had an eyedoctor appointment. BTW who saw New Moon. I saw it twice. Once at the midnight premire and another time the next day. Tell me in a review if you saw it. I want 15.**

That night passed on in a blur. A day that couldn't go fast enough and a night that couldn't slow down. Edward drove me home, avoiding Emmett or the rest of the family. When I asked him about the person he killed, he said Carlisle would inform the family and that they would talk about it when he got back.

I asked if I should stay but he said it would just be boring to listen and I needed my sleep. In reality I believe he just didn't want to cause any more animosity between my father and me.

Edward gave me one more mind-blowing kiss then I went inside. I didn't really speak to Charlie and he remained silent. The only words I said was 'I'm home'. Then I walked upstairs to m room and didn't come out unless I had to use the bathroom.

Charlie was watching a football game so he didn't bother me for the duration of the night. I didn't mind. I pulled out my phone and started messing around on it. I started texting Edward. Him and me talked until he showed up at my house. I left the room to go take a shower and get ready for bed. I returned in my tan pajama pants and matching tank top.

When I woke up the next morning, Edward was still there. He was playing with my hair.

"Morning, beautiful" He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"Hey" I said not quite awake yet. Edward chuckled. I snuggled deeper into his side. "Edward" His name sounded like a gurgle on my sleepy mouth. "What did you guys decide to do last night about that guy in the woods?" I asked

"Carlisle and I are going to take care of it today, love." Hearing that he was going to be away from me got me up. I sat up in bed. Edward did too. "I won't be gone for more than a few hours and it gives you some time to yourself. Maybe you and Alice could hang out or you and Nate?" He suggested.

"Okay" I said quietly, not really paying much attention to his words, but focusing on the velvet in his voice.

Edward smiled my favorite smile, and then took my hand. "Come on, Charlie already left and you must be hungry." He lifted me into his arms and carried me down to the dinning room. He set me down at the table and then went into the kitchen.

While he was in the kitchen, I thought about something I hadn't really given much thought until now. Yesterday when I was talking to Ricky, when I asked about Francia he said 'you'll see'. What did that mean? But with Francia nothing is ever subtle.

Francia had long really dark brown hair that hung in ringlets. She had flawless medium toned skin. She has brown eyes around the same color as mine, big lips some people think are phony because they look similar to Angelina Jolie. Francia has perfect plucked and waxed eyebrows and a body every girl would kill for. And guys loved her. Mainly because she didn't like to wear whole shirts.

She was Mexican and spoke fluent Spanish. If you made her really mad she would yell things out in Spanish to you. I hung around Francia so many times when she was angry that I now understood what she was saying half the time. Not that I could mimic it. I think.

Francia is my best friend in a lot of different ways. She's the type of person who would beat someone up in a second if they hurt somebody she loved. She's fierce and kind and really smart.

Francia is, also, Ricky's on again, off again, girlfriend. If that's what you call it. They pretty much just hook up occasionally but I'm the only one who knows that Francia really is in love with Ricky and wishes for more than a series of one-night stands with him. Well, actually everyone of our friends could probably guess. But I know for sure.

But Ricky's got commitment issues. His parents rarely are around and I think they left him alone too much when he was a baby. Ricky and I bonded over that originally. My father neglected me and both his parents neglected him. But the only difference was I was an accident by birth.

Francia lives with her mother and her father is a cop. She didn't use to live with him but she got closer to him last I knew. He was even nosier or in your face than Renee but that may be better. That way Francia won't end up like me.

I was so out of it I didn't notice at first that Edward had placed a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me.

"Thanks," I said as I broke out of my train of thought.

"What were you thinking so deeply about?" Edward asked

I sighed. I have been putting an extra effort forward as of late that I would share my thoughts with him. "I was thinking about my best friend," I explained

"Which one?" His eyebrows pulled together

"Francia" I said

"What about her?" He pressed

I shook my head. "Ricky and me talked on the phone yesterday-" I started

"When?" Edward interrupted

"While you were…. away.." I stumbled. Edward's face told me he had comprehended the meaning of my words so I continued. "Anyway, Ricky said that Francia really misses me and when I asked what she said, Ricky told me 'you'll see'." I explained

"What does that mean?" I asked Edward after a moment.

"I think it means you'll see, Bella" Edward somehow found humor in this situation. I was tempted to hit him again. I told him that.

"I want to hit you again," I said blankly. Edward laughed. He walked around the table and bent down next to me. He pressed his lips to mine. He pulled back after about ten seconds.

"Now why would you want to do that?" he faked a hurt look. I shook my head but didn't respond. Then I grabbed his face and brought it back to my own. He didn't fight me like I half expected him to.

Edward put his hands under me and lifted me up without breaking the kiss. I continued to mix my warm lips with his perfect, solid, full, kissable lips. But unfortunately, our kiss was cut short.

Edward's phone started buzzing. He carried me into the kitchen and set me on the counter. Edward pulled his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open.

"Emmett" his voice said coldly. I figured he hadn't forgiven him for the night before. There was a long pause where Emmett must have been talking. "Shut up, Em" Edward growled. There was another pause. "I'm on my way" He flipped the hone shut before Emmett could respond.

"Still mad?" I asked

"Emmett had no right to burst in on us last night or to make those comments to you." Edward was still burning anger like a flame.

"He was just being Emmett," I said, smiling. I had gotten over it. Edward hadn't.

"Well, tell him to change" Edward argued. I laughed at how much he sounded like an actual seventeen-year-old boy.

"Aww, you don't like being called Ed?" I teased. Edward growled but it was more of a joking growl. He was fighting a smile.

"How about I call you Issie?" Edward teased back. He knew I didn't like being call Issie-a nickname that could be formed from the first two letters of my full name. I made a face. "You see my point?" Edward asked. I nodded. Edward sighed. "I guess I better get going or else Emmett will have a dozen grizzlies here in fifteen minutes."

"No" I whined. "I don't want you to go" I looked into his golden eyes begging. I knew that it was the right thing for Edward to do, to go and take care of the body and the other evidence but I still didn't want him gone. He just came back from his hunting trip, like Monday night. It was Wednesday morning.

Edward kissed my forehead for a minute, letting his lips linger there. "I love you more than anyone in the whole wide world." He whispered. He turned and walked away, as I watched him from the kitchen counter.

After Edward was gone I trudged upstairs to my room. On my desk, next to the computer, lay my iPhone. I picked it up and turned it on. Once it was on, the screen lit up.

**New Message from Francia**

**Meet me at the airport in 1 hour.**

**Coco**

I stared at the message in oblivion. I couldn't believe Francia had just texted me. Why in the world would she tell me to meet her at the airport? What airport? I shut my eyes and concentrated. The only airport that was remotely close to Forks was SeaTac. **(AN: for anybody that doesn't know that means the Seattle/Tacoma airport). **I sighed. Coco was never subtle.

I hopped in my truck and stepped on the gas, trying to make it to Seattle within one hour. Luckily, there wasn't much traffic. It wasn't five o' clock yet. I made it within an hour and a half.

As I jumped out of my car, in the airport parking lot, I raced up to the elevator and pressed the buttons harshly until the elevator door opened. An employee yelled at me to slow down and be more careful but I couldn't have care less. As the elevator made it's way up the levels of the airport, I realized I had no clue what flight she was on. I was starting to get pissed at Coco. Making me have to guess her every move with no help one so ever.

When the door to the first floor opened I ran out. I looked at the board that listed all the flights. There was a flight to Florida. A flight to Texas. A flight from New York. A flight from Arizona.

The last one caught my attention. I went looking around for people who have gotten off the plane. I realized I was a half an hour late and that Francia may have already left. And that I left my phone at home so I couldn't text her.

Oh my god! I am so stupid. Stupid, no good, nothing girl. I should have texted her back and got more information. I almost screamed.

"Princess?" I heard a voice call out.

I turned and saw Francia standing ten feet behind me.

**AN: I will try to get the next one up sooner. But first, 15 reviews please. Wow I sound demanding.**


	24. Chapter 23: Grocery Store Fight

**AN: This chapter was longer than I expected so it'll be cut into sections. I want 10 reviews**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the charactor Francia.**

I turned and saw Francia standing ten feet behind me. Then in one instant everything changed. Her and me ran to each other, at the same time.

"Oh my god!" I all but screamed

"I missed you some much!" Francia said into my shoulder.

"I cannot believe you're here," I said again

"I cannot believe _you're here._ Or a year and a half ago, I couldn't, at least." Francia pulled away and looked at me. I didn't say anything. For a second I thought she was going to question me again, about my reasons to why I left suddenly. She eyed me skeptically, up and down. "I was expecting a huge change from you, Princess," She teased. "But you look pretty much the same as always."

"So do you" I shot back, glad we were off the subject of my leaving without telling anyone. "How long are you staying?" I asked

"Until tomorrow." She smiled

"And you will be staying at my house," I guessed

"Yep" She said happily.

I giggled, "Come on," I said, "Let's go get your stuff"

"Actually I didn't bring anything," She admitted. "I kind of took off in a spur of the moment thing," She explained.

I nodded. It sounded similar to what I had done. "Let's go to my house," I said, hooking arms with Francia.

We talked on our way down the elevator. "And you live in Spoons, right?" She guessed without much success.

"Forks" I corrected her. She shrugged. "Same diff" She stated. I rolled my eyes.

When we got out the parking garage she stared at my truck. "Knock off of Nate's truck much, Isabel?" I blushed and looked away.

"Maybe" I said in two syllables. Now, it was her turn to roll her eyes. She hopped in and we drove off. We talked about pretty much everything. Her and Ricky were still, "together". If that's what you call hooking up occasionally with each other and multiple others. That what Francia wanted to call it.

We also talked about how my life had changed. My boyfriend, Alice, the rest of the Cullens, Jacob, Charlie. Francia wanted full details, unlike Ricky who left me to say however much I wanted to say. Francia asked questions about what happened with Charlie and Nate. She wanted full details about the day that Nate came back, the day I met Edward, the day I first kissed Edward, the fight between Nate and Charlie, my feelings on my dad and my own fight with Charlie.

She even asked me when Edward and me first had sex.

"Edward and I haven't had sex ever." I admitted, not proudly or embarrassed, just kind of like stating the obvious. I was completely comfortable sharing this with Francia.

"That's good," She said, approvingly. I gave her a weird look from the driving seat. For someone who has sex constantly that was a weird statement. "Because it means he actually loves you, not just trying to get in your pants, like most guys." Francia explained.

I laughed out loud, "You mean like Ricky?" I asked

"Exactly" she smiled brightly

"So have you talked to Nate since he moved?" I asked

"Yep, just talked to him this morning."

"How'd that go?" I asked

"Pretty good. He told all about seeing you again and your brand new boyfriend. I can't wait to see him in person" I slammed on the brakes at her statement. I hoped, somewhere in the back of my mind that there was nobody behind me, that could possibly rear-end me.

"You want to meet Edward?" I asked.

For some odd reason the thought of having my best friend and my boyfriend in the same room. Maybe it was because the only other boyfriend I have ever had was Nate and Coco already knew him. I never had to worry about my friends getting along with my boyfriend. Either way I felt retarded for not thinking of it already. I am really slow today.

"Yeah" Francia said slowly

I thought for a minute. I wondered what Edward reaction was going to be to me bringing home my old bestie. Then I realized something. Edward was chuckling this morning at something when I mention what Ricky had told me on the phone.

Edward already knew! That meant Alice had a vision. I don't know if I was angry with the two of them for not giving me a heads up or if I was too happy to see my friend again to care.

"Okay" I said after a solid minute of silence. The car behind me honked their horn. I stepped on the gas. Francia looked annoyed.

"People can be so rude" She stated looking out the back window at the mini van behind us.

I laughed silently. After a second I spoke. "How come you came so randomly?" I asked all of a sudden.

"Did you seriously think I was going to let you call and talk to Ricky and not say anything to me? When Ricky told me yesterday-

"When did Ricky tell you?" I interrupted. I shot a glance at Francia; she was fighting a smile but not saying anything. I could tell if it wasn't for her skin tone she'd be blushing.

"When he came over. Right after we had s-

"I actually don't want to know" I interrupted again, not wanting the metal pictures Francia put in my head sometimes of her and Ricky.

"Anyway," She got back to the point. "When he told me about you're phone conversations I decided to take measures into my own hands." Francia explained. Like I said before, Francia's measures were always extreme.

"You got a plane ticket within one day's notice?" I asked incredulously.

"It pays sometimes to have a flight attendant for a mother," Francia stated.

I looked at her sharply. "Since when is your mother a flight attendant?" I asked.

"Since six months ago"

"But I thought she was a business woman" I said as I switched lanes.

"The economy sucks, Princess" Francia enlightened me like it should have been obvious. "And money's tight. She had to switch careers," She explained

"What about your dad?" I asked quietly. Last I knew she was just starting to like her dad better but she still had a long way to go. She still liked him more than I liked mine.

"He won't give my mom money. He only supplies for me." She paused briefly. "So I guess it sucks for my mom, right" She laughed along with me at the end.

Just then there was a loud honking in the background of my trucks engine, probably thinking I was going too slow. It was from that same damn mini van. But this time Francia didn't take it. She rolled down her window and stuck her head out.

"Coco! Are you crazy!" I yelled, while still driving.

"Hang on, Bella" Francia said quickly. Then she shouted to the driver of the mini van "SHUT YOUR DAMN HORN OFF, ASSHOLE!" I heard the mini van screech to a stop, so I'm pretty sure she gave him the finger. Francia stuck her head back in, looking pleased with herself.

I rolled my eyes and then laughed at how Francia had handled the situation. I remembered back when I used to be like Francia. Dressed sleazy, flirty, wears great make up that take hours to do, not a hair out of place, didn't take crap from anyone and stuck up for myself. I knew that if I was the way I used to be, I'd already kicked all those girls at school asses by now.

But somewhere along the line I lost part of my personality. Of course it wasn't completely gone. I was stubborn enough to figure out that Edward was a vampire, I was brave enough to figure out Jacob was a werewolf. But I wasn't the same as before. Not as confident. I was a doormat now. And I hated it.

I mean, I wasn't cocky before, but I wasn't as insecure. I wondered if I would have met Edward if I were the way I was in Phoenix.

"Who was that anyway?" I asked

"I don't know, you can't see their face" She answered. I dropped it. I wasn't important.

Francia turned up the radio and tuned it to some random station playing_ Overprotected _by Briteny Spears.

Francia mimicked every word that was said.

_[Spoken:]_  
I need time (time)  
Love (love)  
Joy (joy)  
I need space  
I need me  
(Action!)

_Say hello to the girl that I am!  
You're gonna have to see through my perspective  
I need to make mistakes just to learn who I am  
And I don't wanna be so damn protected  
There must be another way  
Cause I believe in taking chances  
But who am I to say  
What a girl is to do  
God, I need some answers_

I started to sing along with the radio during the chorus.

_What am I to do with my life  
(You will find it out don't worry)  
How Am I supposed to know what's right?  
(You just got to do it your way)  
I can't help the way I feel  
But my life has been so overprotected_

After the song was over we were cracking up.

"Remember how often we used to sing that song, Princess?" Francia asked still not recovered from our giggling. It wasn't good that I was laughing because I was also driving. i tried not to swerve like a drunk.

"It drove Renee absolutely crazy" I commented

"Did it drive her as crazy as when she found out Tyson pierced our belly buttons?" She challenged

"Hell no." I laughed at the memory. "She grounded me for months for that."

"Did you take out the belly button ring?" Francia asked

"Not until I moved to Fork" I replied

"Is the hole closed up?" She asked

"I don't know." I said sadly. I hoped it wasn't. Then Francia started randomly laughing. "What?" I asked

"Do you remember when you were pregnant with Novalee and you had your belly button ring in when you were like seven month prego?" Francia asked

"Did you seriously use the word 'prego'?" I teased

"Shut up" She said in two syllables

I started to say something else but Francia interrupted me. "Hold on!" She turned the radio up. The song _Teenage Dirt Bag_ by Girls Aloud started playing.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I laughed again

"We used to love this song," Francia pointed out

"When we were ten." I stated the obvious. "The only people who would actually listen to that now are Allie and Millie and maybe Gwen. If my boyfriend heard me listening to that song he'd have me committed," I laughed

"You claim to hate it now, yet you know every word to the song and you haven't changed the station" Francia pointed out smugly. She turned it up.

_His girlfriend's a bitch  
She brings a gun to school_

_And she'd simply kick  
my ass if she knew the truth  
she lives on my block  
she drives an iRoc_

_and she doesn't know who I am  
And she doesn't give a damn about me..._  
_Oh yeah dirt bag  
No, he doesn't know what he's missing.  
Oh yeah dirt bag  
No, he doesn't know what he's missing yeah yeah_  
_And why does he give a damn about me?_

cause I'm just a teenage dirt bag baby  
yeah I'm just a teenage dirt bag baby  
listen to iron maiden baby with me  
Ooohooooo

Man I feel like mould  
It's prom night and I am lonely.  
Low and behold  
He's walking over to me.

This must be fake  
My lip starts to shake.  
How does he know who I am?

I shut off the station when I realized I was singing along. I laughed at what Edward would say if Alice had a vision of this. Francia was laughing too, until the mini van behind us honked his horn again.

"Why isn't anyone telling that car to shut up?" I complained

"Want me to yell at them again," Francia offered

"Naw, it didn't work the first time, it won't work if you do it again"

"Hey, get off here" Francia pointed to the nearest exit off the free way.

I drove off the freeway and parked in the parking lot of Rite Aid.

"Where are we?" She asked looking around

"Rite Aid," I said pointing at the big light up words on the front of the store.

Francia play shoved me. "I know the store title, Princess. I meant what _town_?" _  
_

"Oh," I said. "Port Angles"

"Is that close to Forks?" She asked

"Yep, just an hour away" I said nonchalantly. "What do you need here?" I asked

"I was hungry," She stated

"I have food at my house, you know" I said though I don't know when was the last time I went grocery shopping.

"When was the last time you ate?" She asked

"Breakfast" I stated in a matter of fact tone

"Before that" She said

I didn't respond, trying to think when it was. I couldn't remember but I know I hadn't been starving myself. Just not eating regularly, like I should.

"My point exactly" She said after ten seconds went by. Francia reached over and turned off the car. She grabbed my hand and pulled me out, handing me the keys.

"You need to eat," She said

"How did you know I hadn't eaten?" I asked

"I know you, Princess." She stated in a matter a fact tone now. "Come on" We walked into the store and looked around. We had a tiny little basket with us. So far we had gotten cookies, chocolate surup and brownies. We never were big on healthy eating. We were looking at mascara when I heard a nastily laugh.

I pivoted and saw Lauren and Jessica behind us.

"Who are they" Francia whispered in my ear.

"Bitches" I whispered back

"So you ditched school?" Jessica asked in a sugary high voice. "I bet your dad is proud. After all, you always have set a good example for people at Forks High."

"Yeah, like getting pregnant, killing your baby, running away, snagging the hottest guy at _our_ school," Lauren made it clear that I didn't belong there. "And then chasing after Nate. Who should belong to me, not you!" She yelled the last part.

Before I knew what was happening, Francia had shoved the little basket at me and punched Lauren full in the face.

I stared, with my mouth hanging open like an idiot, Jessica did.

"Nobody, talks to my best friend like that" Francia said angrily.

"She used to be my friend," Jessica explained, obviously trying to get on Francia's good side. "And then she got all over Nate. I mean you have to see this guy, he's gorgeous." Jessica gushed

"I have seen Nate" Francia smiled darkly. "He's also one of my best friends. I also happen to know, he's after her, not the other way around. I talked to him this morning." Francia's voice was threatening. I wondered briefly if I had ever sounded like that.

Francia in many ways was just like me when I was younger. Somehow I lost it and lately I have wanted to gain it back. I just don't know how. Yet.

**AN: Haha, well Francia's visit will continue for a few more chapterss. You'll even get to see Edward and Francia meet. And Alice and Francia. Haha, that'll be interesting. Once again, I want 10 reviews.**


	25. Chapter 24: Dressing Up

**AN: Okay so I know, I have not updated in about six months. And I know a lot of people are wondering if I have abondoned this story or they will not review it anymore. I understand if oyu are angry, BUT I am getting this chapter up NOW. And I think it's better late than never. :) I am not even going to bore you with my reasons to why I didnt update because they are pretty much irrelevant. And I just want everyone to know that I fully intend to finish this story. This specific chapter has been chopped into three different parts so this is just part one. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me and still read and review. Thank you! XD**

**Diclaimer: I own nothing but Francia.**

I don't know what came over me. In an instant I had dropped the basket and was dragging Francia out of the store.

"Princess, where are we going?" She asked me, but I didn't respond. I threw open my car door and jumped in the driver's side. "Princess!" She shook my arm. I looked at her.

"You scared the crap out of me" My voice was nothing above a whisper.

Francia laughed lightly. "How?"

"The way you yelled at Lauren and Jessica in there. How did you do that?" I asked, bewildered

Francia looked at me like I had suddenly grown another head. "You taught me how, Bella" Francia said slowly, like she was shocked I didn't already know. "At least, I think you did. We have been friends for so long, it's hard to tell who taught who."

"I could never do that," I argued. I was too shy to ever say something like that to someone.

"What the hell are you talking about, girl?" Francia asked me, her eyes narrowed.

"What?" I exclaimed

"How many time in the past have you slapped me for saying something to you that you didn't like or as a joke?" Coco started asking me rhetorical questions.

I avoided eye contact. "Only a few…." I said after a minute. That cracked Coco up.

"You remember our staring contest? I was about to win and then you slapped me to make me blink," She was grinning. She pulled up her purse from the floor of my truck.

"I was pregnant and hormonal" I tried to make excuses for myself.

"We were twelve" Her eyes cut to me

"Oh" I said, smiling now.

"So…" Coco started to change the subject.

"Yes" I eyed her suspiciously, as I turned on the car.

"Let's talk more about your boyfriend." She smiled

All the way home we talked about Edward and the Cullens. As we walked into the house we were talking about this guy Francia had just had sex with.

"What's he like?" I asked, as I looked through my closet, at the clothes Alice had placed there.

"Nothing like Ricky" Francia sighed as she plopped down on my bed.

"Wouldn't that be a good thing for you?" I asked, "I thought you were done with him?" I teased

"Shut up" She laughed and buried her face in my pillow. "I love Ricky," She stated. I was the probably the only person she had ever told that to. Well openly at least.

"Oh yeah, me too!" I faked enthusiasm

She rolled her eyes. "I mean for real" She said in a flat tone

"Me too" I argued. I went back to looking through my closet. "What do you think of these clothes?" I asked Francia

She scanned the closet. "Let me get a closer look" She started to climb off my bed. As she did she stepped on my white plastic bin that was sticking out under the bed. "What's this?" She said mainly to herself as she lifted the lid.

"My old clothes" I replied

"Why are they still in a plastic box?" She asked wryly. "Have you not heard of unpacking?"

"I was getting around to it," I teased

"Why don't you wear this?" Francia asked. I looked over my shoulder to see her holding up my super short black leather skirt and a sea foam blue halter-top. There were matching high heels and fishnets.

"Yeah, no." I shook my head

"Why not?" She exclaimed

"I don't want to look like a total slut" I reasoned.

"I thought everyone was already calling you a slut?" She asked

"Yeah, so I should indorse it? Great idea" I said sarcastically.

"Hey, if you got the title, use it" She shrugged.

I looked at her then back the outfit lying across my bed. I looked and saw Francia was only wearing jean shorts and a tank top with wedged heels. I wouldn't be the only one to wear this stuff.

I really did like my old clothes. I caved. "Fine, but if Charlie or Edward shoots me, it's on you" I said wryly as she giggled.

They fit me perfectly. I went into the bathroom and checked myself out. The only issue was that my legs are pale as a hospital sheet.

"Hey, girly" I called surprised I has just said 'girly'. I felt like a fifteen year old again. "Do you have fake tan?" I asked, without much hope

"Yeah," she said to my surprise. I heard her unzip her bag then throw a bottle of sunless tan at me. And it wasn't even a dark shade too. This way it looked more realistic.

I fake tanned while she talked. She told me how much everyone missed me. And how stupid some of the guys that she had slept with were.

"It's amazing you've never had an STD" I commented

She threw her brush that she'd pulled out of her purse, at me. "I'm careful" Coco defended.

"You've done some pretty nasty guy, Coco"

"I've done the same guys, you think are hot" She pointed out

"And half the basketball team" I teased. She flipped me off as I laughed.

"Tell me more about your mysterious daddy" Francia teased

"My dad is the last thing from mysterious. He's just an asshole," I said without much feeling. I might as well have been telling her the sky was blue.

"So you and him really don't get along" Francia assumed

"Yep"

"Why?" Coco asked. I could always count on her to press an issue I no longer wanted to talk about.

"Because there is no magical father daughter bond between me and the jerk that supplied half of my genetics!" I half yelled

"Calm down, chica" Coco said. "Are you always this moody?" She asked

"Only when someone brings up Charlie." I half laughed at myself. "Or at least lately."

"You call your dad by his first name?" Francia raised one eyebrow.

"Yes" I said without any emotion again. "What do you call yours? Daddy?" I mocked

"No. The name Dad works too" She shot back.

"I'm all done fake tanning." I said as I handed her back her bottle. "How much do you carry in your bag?" I asked randomly

"A lot" She chuckled. "I carry makeup, hair accessories, a brush, emergency shampoo and hair mouse, nail polish, nail file, a mirror, lip plumper, sunglasses, I have fifty bucks stashed in the bottom and earrings and about fifteen bellybutton rings." She listed off

"What happens if you get jumped?" I asked wryly while washing my hands

"I'll fight them," She said sarcastically

"Hate to break it to you but you're only about 5 feet, 2 inches." I pointed out

"Princess, I'm 5'4. _You're _only 5 feet, 2 inches," She said incredulously

"And you don't see me trying to fight anyone!" I exclaimed

"You should," She said under her breath

I sighed. "Yeah, I know" I wanted to change the subject. Then something she had said while listing the items in her purse caught up with me. "Did you say you have belly button rings?" I asked

Francia made eye contact with me, knowing we were having the same thought. She pulled one out of her purse.

"Don't hurt me." I said, afraid of pain

"Did I hurt you when we were twelve and I repierced your ear?" She said knowingly

"No" I stated

"Okay, then this won't hurt" Francia said.

"You sure you don't want me to do it" I asked as she alcoholed the needle.

"You'd probably stab yourself, Princess"

"Probably," I agreed. "Okay," I managed to lift my shirt up to my belly. "Count to three before you repierce it" I told her

"One two" She repierced it on two, "three" She said after she was done.

"You told me you'd do it on three!" I accused

"Yeah but I got it over with quicker" Coco pointed out

"By a whole fricken second" I threw my hands up in the air.

"Did it hurt?" She asked as I pulled my shirt down

I hadn't even remembered the pain. "No" I said sheepishly

Coco laughed. We talked some more as we walked down the stairs, into the living room. I pulled out my cell phone.

"Let me see that" She said, as I handed it to her. "You still have all the same contacts and messages, you know" Coco pointed out as we sat down

"Yep. I want to keep Taylor's last message on there." I said, knowing Francia would understand.

"I miss her so much," She said quietly after a moment.

"Me too" I said quietly, "Did you ever find out who did it?" I asked

"Nope. They're calling it a cold case," Francia informed me. I could tell she wasn't happy that they'd given up on finding the murder.

"That's crap. I could get Charlie to-" I stopped mid-sentence. I had almost forgot that Charlie and me were not on good terms. That's not supposed to bug me. I tried to pretend it didn't.

"What?" Francia hadn't comprehended what I had just said.

"Never mind" I shook it off. "Let's do something more important. Oh! I know! Let's call Ricky!" I suggested, teasing Francia.

"Do you really want to?" Coco asked me seriously.

I laughed, "Sure" I pulled my iPhone out of Francia's hand and dialed the number 123456.

"Hello?" Ricky answered

"I love you!" I shouted into the phone

He laughed. "I take it you're not mad at me" He assumed

"For what?" I asked

"For not telling you that Francia was coming to visit," He reminded me

"Oh that," I said in a flat voice

Francia nudged me. "Hey Ricky," She said into the phone

"Hey," He said in a monotone.

I almost asked what was up between those two but I figured it was probably going to be something that I didn't need or want to know and Ricky wouldn't say anything and Francia would give me every detail, to the way he walked up to her, to the way his six pack felt, to the time it took and how long he stayed after. Too much information for me to have and still look Francia and Ricky in the eye. That is if I ever see Ricky again. The chances were actually increasing.

"Hola" I said. Francia gave me a 'what the hell' look. "Just trying to lighten the mood here" I defended myself

Ricky laughed. "I love you, Bella," He said randomly.

"I love you too," I laughed

"Don't you have a boyfriend?" Coco pointed out, annoyed

"Yes," I answered. "Just because I have a boyfriend doesn't mean I can't love my best friends," I stated. "I love Ricky the way I love Alice."

"What about me?" Francia exclaimed

"Oh yeah, you too" I pretended I forgot her.

She fake glared at me.

"So how's life?" I directed the conversation back to Ricky.

"The usual" He said back.

"Wow, aren't you talkative." I replied

"If you want to get your ear talked off, talk to Francia."

"Thanks" Coco was being sarcastic. I laughed

"Your welcome" He said in a satisfied tone.

"You two are weird," I pointed out to them

"Shut up," They both said at the same time

"Well, don't I just have the most loving friends" I exclaimed

"Yes, you do" Ricky said at the same time as Francia changed the subject. "You know what's weird?" She asked

"What?" I asked

"We've gone this whole time without actually carrying up a conversation" She stated

"We've had a conversation," I argued

"No we haven't" Coco fought back

"Yes we have," I laughed a little

"No we haven't" She was obviously determined to win.

"We so have!" I had no idea why I was talking like that.

"What have we been talking about then?" She asked

"I don't know" I raised my voice. I'm pretty sure Ricky tried to get something in there but neither of us were paying attention.

"Then we haven't been having a conversation" She pointed out.

"But we've been talking!" I exclaimed

"That's not holding up a conversation" Francia shot back

"Yes it is" I was determined to be right.

"You two have totally lost me!" Ricky joined back in.

"I figured," I said

"What are you two doing anyway?" Ricky asked. "Trying to be the new Nate/Princess combo." Ricky was taking a hit at how much Nate and me fought. Francia laughed.

"Shove it, you two" I ordered and rolled my eyes.

"Well, I better go. It sounds like Princess is starting PMS" Ricky teased

My mouth dropped. "I'm hanging up," I said as I pushed the end button. It disconnected.

"I really don't know what you see in him," I said to Coco.

"It's more like what I see _of_ him," She said casually.

"Eww, gross!" My face squished up

Francia rolled her eyes. "I heard all about yours and Nate's sex, I think you can deal with hearing about me and Ricky"

"So….." I changed the subject. "Do you love him?" I teased

"He doesn't love me," She said as a matter of fact.

"That's not true." I said in a quite voice.

"If he loves someone, he doesn't announce it." Francia shared. "Except for you," She added

"Does it ever make you mad?" I asked, knowing if it was Edward and me. I wouldn't like him talking that way to other girls. Especially if he wasn't saying it to me.

"Not at you." Francia assured me. "More at Ricky, considering you don't make him say it. Plus you don't have any sexual intentions with Ricky." She paused, "You don't have nay sexual intentions with Ricky, do you?"

"Hell no" I exclaimed.

Just then I felt a pair of cold arms wrap around my waist.

**AN: Sorry, that was a really crappy place to leave off but there really was no good place. There is alot more. Trust me, I know this chapter isn't very eventful. Origanally this chapter was 25 pages in a word docuement. The next will be up soon. I know I really shouldn't be asking but please review. Thanks**


	26. Chapter 25: Reminising

**AN: I really need to study for my Spanish final. Oh well. LOL. The reason I am getting this up late at night is because I was editing it all day. I want to say thanks to all my reviewers and the people who are still willing to read this after my long vaction. I want to give a special shout out to ashleygreenpink. I need eleven reviews for this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I only own Franica.**

"Hello, pretty girl," Edward's voice came from behind me as he kissed the back of neck.

"Hey," I said totally dazzled. I was relieved when I saw his eyes were back to gold.

"Hola" Alice mimicked me from across the room. I take it they were listening into our phone conversation.

"Can it, Alice," I ordered, not looking away from Edward.

"I think her friend was right. Bella is PMSing." Alice teased

"Does everyone just want to talk about my period?" I asked because it seemed to be a popular subject.

"Only Ricky" Francia joked

"How does Ricky even know about your period, love?" Edward asked, uncomfortable.

"I guess I mentioned it, once or twice" I shrugged

"Once or twice? Are you kidding me? Princess holds nothing back when it comes to Ricky." Francia corrected my apparent mistake. "Or me" She added, smiling.

"I am guessing you're Francia?" Edward extended his hand.

"Yeah. And I am pretty sure you're Edward?" She assumed

"Yes, that is correct." He smiled. I could tell she was dazzled. She had even forgot to take his hand because she couldn't look away from his eyes.

I leaned over to Coco. "Don't get any ideas. I plan to stay with him forever." I informed her

"Wow." She was stunned. "You two really are serious." Francia stated. Edward had some sort of expression on his face that I couldn't place. I wondered if it had something to do with Francia's thoughts.

"Yep." I replied, still looking at Edward's face. I was lying against his chest.

"It was so kind of Bella to introduce me" Alice budged in from the doorway, coming to sit down next to Coco.

"Oh, yeah. That's Alice" I introduced.

While they were talking I focused my attention back on Edward.

"Did you take care of what you needed to take care of?" I said quietly incase Francia overheard. Edward nodded.

"What did you two do this afternoon?" Edward asked, trying to act normal for Coco's sake.

"Went to the store, fought with Lauren and Jessica, came home, talked…."I trailed off my list.

"Don't forget changed your clothes," Edward chuckled

I stuck my tongue out at him, childishly.

"Hey, I like her clothes." Alice commented. Then she mumbled something under her breath.

"She did before she moved here," Francia giggled. Apparently Alice said it loud enough for her to catch it. I'm surprised I didn't, considering how small my couch is. "Oh, and I pierced her belly button." Francia added to my list of things we did that afternoon. I didn't really want to tell Edward that because he always worries about me. This had his disapproval written all over it.

"What?" Edward and Alice said at the same time. Edward said it as disapproval, Alice sounded, well, kind of proud.

"It was already pierced," I caved not bothering to try and hide it anymore. I probably should have told Edward a long time ago.

"When?" Edward asked like he didn't want to know the answer.

"When I was fourteen," I admitted

"Renee let you do that at fourteen?" Edward asked, sounding like he actually believed it. I could just feed him the lie and let it go, instead of going into the complete explanation. But I was an awful liar and I didn't like lying to Edward. Then again I had kept a secret from him about my past life. It wouldn't be impossible. But I decided against it.

"No," I admitted, "I snuck behind her back and got this guy I knew, named Tyson to pierce it."

"Did it get infected?" Edward asked

I shook my head. "No, Renee made me get it checked out when she found out. He obviously knew what he was doing." I explained

"When did she find out?" Edward asked

"About three months after I got it pierced. By then I could take it in and out without a problem."

"Was she mad?" Alice asked

Coco and me looked at each other for a split second trying not to laugh at the memory. "As hell," I answered. "She blew a fuse and started yelling and screaming and throwing things and talked about how my grandmother was rolling over in her grave and how I was a bad example for Meme and she grounded me. She even threatened to tell Charlie." I looked at Coco, "Francia was there, along with Taylor and Gwen." I added

"It was kind of funny," Francia was trying not to laugh. "If you weren't Bella, that is."

"Shut up," I responded

"Was Charlie some sort of threat?" Alice asked, curious

I thought about that. "Renee used to use him as one but it was pretty much an empty threat because she never actually told him anything. But when I did something wrong she would threaten to tell Charlie or my grandma. My grandpa used to let me get away with everything," I laughed, lost in the memory.

"Renee sounded a little harsh," Edward said. "And more like a parent than anything I have ever seen her do." He added, chuckling

"Who knew Renee could be a mother," I joked

"I know, right," Coco added in, "With all her boyfriends and all" She smiled

I pretended to gag. "What boyfriends?" Alice asked, animated

"Renee had a lot of boyfriends when I was a kid. Let me see, there was Michael, Chad, Jack, Micah, Miguel, Phil, Louis, Brian, Dallas, Bryce, Chandler, Chad again, Drew, Barrett, Jagger, John, Ethan, two brothers named Ron and Steven, Tim, Phil again, Jordan, Danny, Matt, Chad _again_, Aaron, and last Phil _again_." I was out of breath after saying all those names.

"Whoa," Edward was understandably surprised. I had never told him this either. I guess I didn't like sharing my feelings or maybe I just had too many of them.

"I know, it's a lot." Francia spoke up

"How did you memorize their names?" Edward asked

I shrugged. "Practice." I said simply, as if that covered everything.

"Where did Renee find the time to date all those guys," Alice asked

"The same time any other single woman does." I answered

"But she had you?" Edward asked

"I've never really been much of a priority," I stated.

"That's kind of sad." Francia said quietly.

"Not really," I said quickly before this became a 'Poor Little Bella' fest. "I could always do whatever I wanted without a mother to control me. Well most of the time," I remembered the times when she was around and never left me alone. "The worst part is that she brought her dates or boyfriends or whatever you call them, home. I met every last one of them," I said a little unpleasant.

"They were that bad?" Alice asked

"They all reeked of beer and other alcohol and cigarette smoke and Renee's perfume." I explained.

"When did she start dating again? Like how soon after your parents split" Francia asked, I realized I might not have even told her all of this.

"As long as I can remember she's been dating." I answered. "I'm pretty sure she already had one lined up before she even left my dad." I realized too late that I had referred to Charlie as dad.

"I can relate," Francia stated. "To a lesser degree."

"What do you mean?" Alice asked

"My mother left my father when I was in the womb and I didn't meet him again till I was nine. But my mother always has a date or something and my dad is practically a hovercraft now. He never leaves me alone." She explained.

"At least your parents wanted you," I stated

"Just my mother. My dad didn't. I was my mother's plan to trap my father. Then she changed her mind and moved on to other men."

"I've met your mother. She's not as bad as you're making her seem," I pointed out.

"Maybe not, but neither is yours." Francia said

"My dad is," I mumbled. Francia couldn't argue. She didn't know my father. And after Edward and Alice had witnessed the past couple of days, I doubt they'd ever defend Charlie again.

"Who's Meme," Alice asked randomly, trying to change to subject.

"What?" I was confused where that came from.

"You said before, when you were telling us Renee's little tirade after you got your belly button pierced behind her back, she told you that you were a bad example for Meme." Alice explained

"Oh," I understood then. "Meme is my little cousin. She was five when I got pregnant, so she's nine now" I explained

"I didn't know you had cousins" Edward said

"I have six," I shared. "I have a cousin named Kate-Lyn whose twenty seven on Charlie's side and her husband Dean and their eight year old son, Blake and their five year old daughter Elena. On Renee's side, I have Lucas, whose about sixteen now and Meme who is nine." I explained

"How come you never mentioned them before?" Edward asked

"Because I don't really know Kate-Lyn and her family too well, and Lucas and Meme were related to Phoenix and I didn't tell you any part of that until recently."

"Your family has nothing to do with what you didn't want to tell me." Edward argued

"I just didn't feel like talking about it, okay?" I said in a tone that meant I was done talking about this.

Francia obviously wanted to change the subject, "Is Meme that really cute one with the brown curly hair and missing teeth, that bounced around your condo."

"Yeah, she belongs to my aunt Pam" I said

"Who are Lucas' parents?" Francia asked

"My uncle Troy and his ex-wife Lila. Remember, I told you that Lila left him for a younger male model. Now Lucas wants nothing to do with her and my whole family hates her." I reminisced

"Oh yeah!" Coco remembered this conversation from a few years ago.

"Are you close to Meme and Lucas?" Edward asked,

"Yep. Lucas and I used to baby sit Meme. Lucas only lived across the street from my school so I could walk with him to Meme's house, which was like 2 minutes from my condo."

"Sounds nice that all your relatives lived near you," Edward wanted me to say more. I decided to please him and elaborate.

"Yes, it was. My aunt Pam is Renee's sister, so she knows how dippy Renee is. She purposely moved close to us, incase I needed anything. Same for my uncle Troy and Lucas." I hesitated before throwing in the last thought on my mind. "Taylor also lived right down the street from me." Francia went quiet, as did Edward. Finally he regained composure.

"Did you have anymore aunts or uncles?" Edward asked, whatever he saw in Francia's mind didn't affect his tone of voice.

"Yeah, I have an uncle name Milo, who is also Renee's brother. He lives on the other side of Phoenix," I explained, getting kind of bored with talking about my family. "Let's talk about something else," I suggested

Alice spoke up. "I want hear more about your guys' life before Forks," Alice announced, directed at Coco and me.

"It's not really that interesting," I mumbled. They all shot me glares. "Fine," I resigned. "Coco can start,"

"What do you guys want to hear about?" Francia asked, obviously not sure.

"What about how you guys met?" Edward asked

Francia and me looked at each other. "I don't remember" Francia laughed.

"Me either" I joined in. "We were too little."

"How old were you guys?" Alice asked

"About five. We met first, then we met Gwen and Millie and Allie a month later. Briee came along a little later and we met Taylor around May of Kindergarten." Francia explained

"I thought it was April," I questioned

"Princess, does it really matter?" She asked, smiling at how I care about the details.

"It's Taylor," that was all I had to say. I felt Edward's chin leave the top of my head, where it was resting before. He must have picked something off of Francia's mind. I would have to try to avoid it later.

"How did you guys all get your nicknames?" Alice asked obviously sensing something was off. I was glad she chose to change the subject instead of pressing it.

"We kind of made them up when we were little." Francia answered. "I got mine because of my skin coloring when we were in Kindergarden. Gwen got her nickname, Sparkles, because she used to where roll on glitter and Briee used to put honey on _everything_."

"Oh my gosh, I remember that:" I smiled at the memory of her carrying around her bottle of honey. Back then I didn't even know honey came in bottles.

"Wasn't Millie's reason for being nicknamed Bubbles kind of gross?" Coco asked me

"Yeah. It was because she used to blow bubbles with her spit all the time." I made a face, thinking about how gross that was. "I think her mom had already nicknamed her that, before we met her though."

"Oh yeah. That's about the same as Allie's great grandpa naming her Smiley because she was always smiling." Francia added.

I laughed at a new thought. "Taylor was named Star because she couldn't draw a star worth a damn."

There was a slight pause. "Why did you get named Princess?" Francia asked

"What?" I asked, surprised that someone had asked the same question that I was surprised nobody had ever asked before.

"Your nickname? You had it long before we met." Francia said. This perked Alice and Edward's interest too.

I paused, remembering why I had snapped when Ricky had called me shorty that day on the phone. "Charlie nicknamed me Princess," I said, not really liking this conversation anymore. "He called me that ever since I was born. Renee told me when I was ten, that he has called me that since the first time saw me." To my surprise it made me sad to think about. I really needed to gain some composure over myself before I started crying or something.

Edward was the one who broke the silence. "Charlie nicknamed you Princess?" He sounded surprised. "Where did he come up with it?" Edward asked. I shrugged, knowing he would feel it, considering I was still lean into him.

"I don't know. I'm going to have to ask Renee sometime." I said Renee instead of Charlie, obviously.

"I thought you were mad at Renee too?" Alice asked

"Uh, kind of, but not really." I said as if was supposed to make sense.

"She's more bitter towards her mother," Edward answered for me.

I twisted my neck to catch a glimpse of him. "How do you know?" I asked

"Because I pay attention." Edward shot me a breathtaking smile.

I gave a small smile. "Is something wrong?" Edward asked but I shook my head, wanting to completely drop it. I should have known it would be impossible. "Do you want to talk about it?" Edward asked

"No," I said quickly

"Hey, Bella, don't Ricky and Nate call you Shorty?" Francia asked. Edward rolled his eyes.

"How many nicknames can you have?" Edward said

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed, ignoring Edward's comment. "I am not short!"

"That's what I said years ago," Alice commented, "Now I accept it about myself."

"But your only 4'10 here," I said, full of fight.

"Sweetheart," Edward said, looking at me. "You're only 5'2." (**AN: I am pretending she's 5'2 instead of 5'4**)

"So?" I asked

"That's a little short for the average person" Edward pointed out.

"I am not short!" I said again, hoping saying it would make it true. "I'm fun sized," I remember Renee saying something like that.

That cracked the three of them up. "I am so using that next time someone calls me short," Alice said, not yet recovered from her laughing fit.

We talked some more about old memories and stuff for a few more minutes. Then an awkward silence came over us. I knew Francia was thinking something. I just waited for her to say it.

Francia sighed. "Okay, you know what?" She blurted out. "I've got to say this." I prepared myself for what I thought she might say. But like usual she surprised me. "Where the hell is Renee in all of this?" Francia asked

"In what?" I asked

"In the slow motion train wreck that has become your life." She exclaimed. "You've fought with your father, more than ever before, everyone in this town now knows that you've lost a child and they are mocking it," She sounded like she couldn't believe why someone would mock a death of a child. I couldn't either. "Why the hell is your mother not around, Princess?" She asked

I stared at her for a second then said the best response that came to my mind. "_I don't know_," I said quietly but pronouncing every syllable of every word. I took a deep a breath and expressed one of my thoughts that I didn't usually share. "_Renee lost all interest in me the second she married Phil._"

"Bella-" Edward started but I cut him off

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I clearly stated.

"Fine," Alice agreed, but probably not letting it go. "Let's talk about Nate," Alice smiled at me while I groaned.

"What about Nate?" Francia asked.

"Anything." Alice said. "I want to hear stories or about his family or something."

I sighed. "I'll take this one, Coco." I volunteered. "Nate has an older brother named Ryann, obviously." I sounded a little angry even to myself. "Then Nate has a twenty three year old sister named Summer, who I absolutely love, and a nineteen year old sister named Julianna and a sister who is almost fifteen named Claire. Nate also has a brother named Aidenn who is sixteen. Aidenn and my cousin Lucas were friends."

"What about his parents?" Alice asked

"His dad, Tom, is nice enough and his mother, Kayla, is very sweet but they both neglective. Tom is an alcoholic and rarely ever pays attention to anything Kayla does, let alone their kids. And like I said before, Kayla is very nice but she's," I didn't know how to put it. "Superficial." I decided on.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked

"You were there when Nate explained it, Edward," I said

"What?" Coco was confused

"Long story," I said to her

"Tell me,"

"Another time."

"_I _want to hear about Nate's mom," Alice said, drawing me and Francia and Edward's attention back to her.

"She just doesn't really always pay attention. Mainly to her kids. I mean they're not neglected or anything but she cares more about what her husband's co-workers and the public than what her own kids think." I couldn't really explain it. You had to know her.

"I have another question," Alice announced. "Is Nate the odd one out of his family?" Alice asked

"No, why?" Francia answered

"Because his name only has one N in it." Alice explained

"Aren't you supposed to spell Nate with one N?" Edward asked

"But his brother spell their names with two Ns." Alice explained

"Oh," I caught on to her point. "No, Nate's real name is Nathann, which is spelled N-A-T-H-A-N-N" I told her. I giggled at a memory. "I remember when we were thinking of names for Novalee, Nate wanted to add a silent N in her name somewhere." I chuckled as another thought crossed my mind. "Wait a second, Alice"

"What?"

"How did you know that Aidenn and Ryann's names were spelt with two Ns?" I had no idea how she would have figured it out,

"Carlisle mentioned it." Edward said sheepishly.

"Why?" I asked

"Kayla Carter scheduled an appointment for Aidenn to have a check up at the doctor's office" Edward explained. "Carlisle saw the name and was curious." Edward explained. There was something he wasn't telling me. Something he knew that he didn't want me to know, but I didn't push it with Coco sitting right next to me.

"Hey, Shorty, can you hand me that pillow," Alice teased. Obviously she didn't want the pillow. She just wanted to make fun of me. I grabbed the pulled and chucked it at her.

Edward was trying not to laugh. "Shut up," I said, looking him straight in the face. He kissed lips, quickly. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

"Ooo, Bella's turned on," Coco teased,

Edward and Alice got a kick out of that. I grabbed the pillow and clocked Francia in the face. She, playfully, shoved me back.

"Okay, you two are going to destroy the living room." Alice said, ripping the pillow out of Francia's hand.

"Well if Bella doesn't want to be called Shorty, I can always call her LTK." Francia meant to be kidding, but that struck a cord in me.

"LTK?" Edward asked "Another nickname?" Edward kind of sounded annoyed. "Keep this up and I'll start calling you Isabella," Edward teased, knowing how much I hated my real name.

"What does LTK mean?" Alice asked

"Looks to Kill," I said quietly.

"What's wrong?" Edward whispered in my ear but Francia and Alice heard it.

"Nothing, just…" I paused not really wanting to go on, but they were all waiting. I sighed before answering. "Ryann gave me that nickname," I said, hoping that explained enough.

There was a silence for a few seconds. Edward absentmindedly kissed the top my head. "I still don't really understand what the meaning of Looks to Kill is," he stated.

Francia answered. "It means every guy wants to have sex with her and every girl wants to kill her because she's so pretty,"

"Oh, well I agree on the exceptionally pretty part," Edward replied. "But I don't really like the fact that another guy gave you that nickname," Edward said to me.

"I hate Ryann anyway, so it doesn't even matter," I closed the subject.

**AN: I know, another crappy place to end. Oh well. LOL. I need eleven reviews to update. **


	27. Chapter 26: Baby Visit

**AN: Here's the next chapter. I need 15 reviews for the next chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but Francia and Novalee.**

After we were done catching up, hours had passed. We decided to watch a few movies. We watched a Lifetime movie, then a sappy movie, then Alice had turned it to some horror channel. Of course, Alice and Edward weren't scared but Francia and me were. I was fully in Edward's lap, frightened that the killer of the movie was going to come to life.

Charlie came home sometime later. "Get out," he said, without looking, as he walked through the doors.

I looked at Coco. "Isn't he great?" I said sarcastically.

Charlie walked back into the room. "Get out of his lap, Isabella" Charlie commanded when he saw Edward and me. "Who are you?" Charlie asked Francia.

"Charlie," I scolded. It was a rude question.

"No it's fine, Princess" Francia tried to keep the peace. "I'm Francia Martinez." She introduced herself.

"Are you Bella's friend?" Charlie said, confused. _No fricken duh_, I thought in my head.

"Yes," She didn't know how to answer.

"Well, Bella's curfew is ten o clock." Charlie said. "And it is, almost one thirty in the morning." Charlie said looking at his watch. When I looked at him closer he looked exhausted. "So time to leave."

Francia looked at me. I shook my head, signaling to just not say anything to Charlie.

Charlie walked back into the kitchen to read some newspaper article he found in the driveway.

Edward scoot me up, so he could stand. "I guess I have to go," Edward said, leaning down for a goodbye peck.

"Are you really leaving?" I whispered as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Yes, I want to give you time with Francia." Edward whispered, as he hugged me back.

I automatically tightened my grip on him. He probably couldn't tell I was using all my strength. It's not that I didn't want time alone with my best friend, it was just I didn't want Edward to leave me. He must have sensed this.

"It's okay, baby." Edward whispered to me. "I'll see you tomorrow." He promised. "It's not that long away."

"I know," I said, knowing he was right.

He lifted me off the ground in a hug, which was almost necessary, considering I was at least 10 inches taller than me. After he set me on the ground, we walked to the door where Alice and Francia were waiting.

After Edward and Alice left, Francia looked at me. "What are we going to do about your dad?" She asked

"Let me take care of it." I said, confidently.

I walked into the kitchen, where Charlie was still reading the newspaper over the counter. I opened the refrigerator.

"Is everyone gone," He asked not looking up.

"Francia is spending the night," I stated.

"What?" He was obviously taken by surprise. Charlie looked at me now.

"Yeah." I said, as I shut the refrigerator, not bothering to take anything out to eat. I wasn't budging on this.

"I don't even know her, Bella" Charlie argued. "She could steal something,"

"Well I have known her since I was five," I shot back. "And I trust her completely."

"How the hell have you known her that long?" Charlie isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

Was it really that hard to connect the dots?

"I went to Kindergarden with her, and every other grade after that until the middle of our junior year." I stated.

"Oh, great" Charlie banged his fist on the counter. "Is she one of those kids that was a bad influence on you?" Charlie asked, angry.

"She isn't a bad influence on me," I yelled at him

"I heard you skipped school today." Charlie said snidely. "Was she with you?" He started asking questions. "Have you ever skipped school with her before? Or any of your other little clique in Arizona?" he was mocking me, obviously. "Have you and Edward done anything like that? And look at how you're dressed. You look like a hooker, Isabella. Why are you doing this?" He was pissed.

"You know what, Charlie, I am sick you fighting with you about this. Francia _is _staying the night, so for the first time in your life, can you at least _pretend _you love me enough to put up with this and allow my friend to stay?" I fought him back, expecting a bunch of yelling in response. But Charlie surprised me. When I looked up, he was looking at me, bewildered. I turned to walk out of the room but Charlie caught my elbow and spun me around.

"Bella, what do mean, 'at least pretend you love me'?" He quoted me. "Bella, honey, I love you, no matter what you do, no matter how angry I get. I always will," Charlie said, shocking me, considering he never shares his true feelings. I just shook my head though. It was too late for him to try to make amends.

I tried once again to leave but he gripped my wrist this time. "Bella, come on." Charlie said softly. "Don't you believe me?" He sounded appalled. I paused for a minute not sure what to say. "Bella?" Charlie whispered, touching my cheek.

"Loving someone is more than just saying it." I looked up into his big brown eyes- the identical color and shape to my eyes. "It's showing it. And you never do," I felt my eyes fill up with tear but I wouldn't let them spill over. I yanked my wrist free from Charlie and walked away. I didn't feel guilty for letting him stand there.

Francia was in front of the TV, on a big blanket she probably got off the back of the sofa, watching Mean Girls. She smiled at me. "I was getting scared from that horror movie and I don't want nightmares," She laughed. I tried to laugh too but I just couldn't.

"What's wrong?" She asked. "And don't just say nothing. Actually tell me," she sounded like she genuinely wanted to know. What was I thinking? This is Francia, for crying out loud. She always cares.

"My dad just tried to tell me he loved me," I whispered. Francia understood.

"Isn't that a good thing?" she asked, cracking a smile. I couldn't bear to return it.

"I don't trust him," I stated, softly. I knew Charlie couldn't hear our conversation even if he was trying.

Coco nodded. "I know what you mean." She replied. "It took me years to trust my dad and even longer to open up to him. I hope it doesn't take you that long," Francia said. I blinked hard, forcing back my tears that I wouldn't let leak out and shook my head.

"I can't deal with this right now," I stated. "Let's find a way to distract me,"

"Okay, well in this movie, there is a girl played by Lindsay Lohan, who is a total jungle hippie from Africa and then there's another chick, who's dad is the inventor of that really nasty crap Mason, Tommy, and Dustin used to have eating contests with, and then there's Rachel McAdams from the Notebook and a dumb chick and a ugly Goth and a dude that's too gay to function." She was telling me the main characters from Mean Girls.

"I have seen Mean Girls before." I stated. "And you forgot that the dumb chick can tell you when it's raining by squeezing her boobs." I laughed

"Oh my god, did I not tell you that I am considering getting implants?" She was serious.

"Don't!" I said automatically. "That's not right."

"Hey, I'm practically flat here" She argued.

"So am I and I'm not getting implants." I commented

"You have two guys who love you no matter what," she said, as if it was obvious, "I have to impress men with my body."

"Ricky _does_ love you, Franny, he just doesn't know how to express it." I stated.

"I can't spend all my time with a guy who may never step up to the plate. I have to get with other men." She said, with conviction.

"How is getting implants going to help you land more guys?" I asked, not sure what her intentions of implants were.

"Because guys like big boobs, which I do not currently have." She said, probably wondering why I didn't already know this.

"Oh yeah, what guy doesn't want to feel up silicone," I laughed along with her.

After Mean Girls was over, we turned the channel to some late time talk show. After a while I fell asleep on my end of the blanket.

I felt weird. I suddenly appeared in the living room of my old condo. The one Renee sold when she moved to Florida with Phil a few months after I moved to Forks. Everything still looked the same though. There was still our aqua blue couch in the middle of our sunk in living room, which was exactly three feet from the front door. We still had our TV against the wall and there were a few loads of laundry sitting in baskets next to the couch. My room was up a short set of stairs and across the hall from the bathroom. Renee's room was next to the staircase and the kitchen was on the other side of the staircase.

I felt so weird standing in my old house. It was like putting on your old training bra. It makes you feel older than you realized. Just then I heard a cry coming from bedroom. Novalee's crib was set up in my bedroom. Without thinking or a second's hesitation I ran up the staircase just as I did some many times before and into my room.

My room looked the same as it had for years. Same door, same fluffy white carpet, same lime green walls, same walk in closet, same glass door to the balcony. My bed was even the same. The only thing that was different was the crib that had not been there when I met Nate. But it was there now, against the wall.

The crying noise was getting louder, as I stepped forward. A bigger toddler stood up in the crib. I had to admit the toddler looked a little too old for a baby's crib. She was at least four, with long golden hair, the same gorgeous color of eyes and rosy little cheeks. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I felt my eyes fill with tears again, one of them leaking over.

It was _exactly_ how I always picture Novalee would have looked if she would have lived.

Even though this child was much too old to be Novalee even if she wasn't dead, I knew it had to be her. I finally reached the crib even after what feels like forever. I picked up the crying toddler and rocked her in my arms, her flushed face pressed into my shoulder, as I shushing and soothing her.

"It's okay," I said gently. "Mommy's here." I got choked up as I said that.

"But you weren't," She spoke. I was shocked. I had, of course, always wondered what her voice would sound like. My imagination hadn't done it justice. I wanted her to speak again, just so I could keep it in my memory for another day.

She spoke again. "You left me," she accused in her tiny little voice. "You just packed up your bags and abandoned daddy and me, the same way grandpa abandoned you," for such a little girl she was breaking my heart.

"I love you, Novalee Bree Swan-Carter," I said her full name as I hugged her tighter to my chest, never wanting to let go.

"You can't abandon someone you love," Novalee said again. "Where are you?" She asked.

"I'm right here, baby," I answered, fighting my own hysterics.

"I mean for the last year!" She bawled as she pulled away from me. "You left me and never once looked back. You didn't just turn your back on daddy, you turned on me too!"

"That's not true, Novalee." I said just the way a mother would say to her child.

She buried her head in my shoulder again. "Where are you? I need you," I felt my own tears fall from my face.

"I need you too," I whispered.

"Then how come you never visit me!" She asked

I had no clue how to answer that. What did she mean, visit her? She was dead.

But why would a dead baby be here in my arms. "I'll never leave, Novalee. Never. Even when you feel alone, I'll always be there, even if I'm not there at all." I tried to be strong for my daughter. "Same thing goes for daddy," I said

"Daddy has abandoned me now too." She said quieter, her beautiful little voice fading away. I thought she was falling asleep. I shook her a little to wake her.

"Babe, you can't sleep." I said softly. I wanted to hear her voice again "You can sleep later." I promised but she didn't respond. I switched her to my other shoulder but she didn't make a sound. Not even a breathing sound.

"Novalee," I was getting worried. I turned her on her back as if she was a newborn baby. Her eyes were shut, her cheeks were no longer rosy, the face that was once full of life and joy and happiness was gone. She was getting colder by the second.

She looked exactly the way I remember her the last time I saw her.

"Novalee," I said, my voice getting louder. "It's not good to scare mommy," I patted her cheek, "Novalee, honey, wake up." I was sobbing now. "Novalee, get up!" I shouted. "Mommy needs you to wake up! Come on!" I screamed, "PLEASE!" I shrieked and sobbed at the same time. Holding her tighter to my chest, hoping that would revive her somehow. "Come on, babe, don't leave me." I fell to my knees, cradling her on her back once again. "Don't leave me again," I screamed as loud as I could muster, my sobs taking over me. "I love you," I whispered as if that was a good enough reason to why she should come back, stroking her hair.

"God, why are you doing this to me." I screamed at the ceiling. I looked down at Novalee.

My baby is dead.

**AN: Sad, huh? I have a pic of Novalee from Bella's dream on my profile. **


	28. Chapter 27: Fear of Abandonment

**AN: I've been working on and off on this chapter and a different one. Sorry for it being a month after I posted the last one. I didn't intend for it to take so long. I want 14 reviews for this chapter. Yeah, I'm still greedy. OH! BTW, I thought I should mention it has been a year since I have started this story. Wow, time flies right? :)**

Francia shook me awake. I looked at her through streaming eyes. "Nightmare about Novalee?" She asked, wiping the tears from my cheeks as I sat up.

"How did you know?" I asked, my voice cracking. I worked hard on keeping it down incase Charlie heard me.

"You've had them since she died," Francia whispered. "I'm guessing them kind of stopped when you moved?" She guessed right.

"It was part of why liked it here." I admitted. "Well, besides Edward." She giggled

"You really like him," She stated the obvious

"I love him," I corrected her. She took in a deep breath.

"What?" I asked

She shook her head. "When Ricky said you had a new boyfriend, I didn't think it would last. I thought you were just playing the field a little, you know?"

"You thought I would always be with Nate?" I almost laughed.

"Oh come on, Princess!" She laughed and playfully hit my arm. "You used to be attached to Nate like peanut butter and jelly."

I guess I really couldn't argue. "Yeah, I guess." I shrugged. She was about to say something else but I cut her off. " So, I have a question?" I announced

"Yeah," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Am I different than you remember?" I asked. "I mean, I know I am somewhat different, but I cant really tell _how_ different." I explained. "I can't really tell the difference between growing up and changing, you know?"

She thought for a second. "You're more self conscious, you're a lot nicer and politer. You're a lot more shy." She said, finally. "Like when we were in the store and those two bitches came up to us. Before, you would have backed me up and punched them until their noses were broken."

"I know," I sighed

"Why do you let them talk to you like that?" Francia asked, genuinely curious.

"Because I want them to leave me alone and I don't really want them to spread more stuff about me or hate me anymore. I don't want the entire town hating my guts." I admitted

Francia didn't say anything, processing that. "Princess, I hate to break it to you but," She paused. "They _already_ have turned against you. The whole town-including your dad- is gossiping about you."

"I know." I said again. I knew she was right. "But I just want this to go away."

"It's not going away, Bella" She used my actual name, which was rare when she was talking directly to me. She eyed me, suspiciously. "Since when do you care what other people think of you, anyway?"

"I don't know." I answered,

"You have to give me more than that." Coco looked at me, expectantly.

"It's not the same." I said. "Not like it used to be. I can't just say whatever I want now because nobody I know is really going to have my back." I explained. "I mean, Edward would probably stick up for me but he's a guy. He can't hit a girl without it being some sort of crime. And Alice is really small for our age. She can't really do much to defend herself, let alone me." I tried to make it sound as realistic as possible. I couldn't tell her the truth. That is Edward or Alice or any of the Cullens were to hit a human, they'd probably lose control and kill them. But accident or on purpose, I don't know.

It killed me that I had to lie to Coco, though. She was practically my family. I hated it, almost as much as I hated lying to Edward.

"I guess I get it." Coco finally said. "But I don't understand why you don't show them up. I mean, you don't have to fight them. Why don't you just tell them off? Wear your old clothes from Arizona. Do something like that."

"And cause more issues for myself than I already have?" I raised my eyebrows, wondering if she was nuts. "No thanks." I said

"Aww, come on, Princess." She argued. "Everyone already either hates you or not. If you do something else, worst care scenario, everyone will still call you a slut." She stated, like she knew it was the truth. "What do you got to lose?" She challenged me.

"Nothing, I guess," I finally admitted. I tried to let this conversation roll off my shoulders. "Let's talk about you." I said.

"Like what? You're the one with the fascinating life," She laughed.

"How about you and Ricky." I suggested.

"Oh my god, Isabel." Francia only called me Isabel every once in a while. "We already had this discussion. Ricky wont let me or anyone in. Not completely, at least. He keeps everyone at arms length." I knew exactly what she was saying. Nate was like that too sometimes and especially when you first meet him.

"Why do you think that is?" I asked, making conversation but also kind of wondering her option.

"I don't know." She answered. "I think it has something to do with the way his parents treated him. When he was little, I think, had the most impact on him. His dad drinks, which stresses out his mother, then he takes off and his mother goes after him." Francia pretty much gave me the recap to what I already knew.

"I know. I remember this one time, when I was fourteen, it was right before I had started dating Nate. Like a few months before." I took a deep breath before continuing. It as hard for me to talk to people about this stuff. "Do you remember the tree house our school neighborhood built when we were in first grade?" I asked. She nodded. "It was Father's day and Renee had a date. She was with Chad," that was all I had to say. Francia knew the story behind Chad. "I hadn't talked to Charlie in almost eight months. I had called him twelve times that day. I got his answering machine once, then I called back. He picked up but I couldn't find my voice. The other ten times I ended the call before it was possible for him to answer." I admitted, not looking Francia in the eye.

"But I thought you didn't know his number," She must have remembered that from a conversation we had a few years back.

"I looked it up." I answered, still not meeting her gaze. "Anyway, everywhere I looked that day, I saw a father and child. And so many kids at school were talking about their dads. They said things like, 'Why do we have to celebrate father's day? My dad is such a jerk.' And they said like, 'Oh my god, my dad is bugging me to spend more time with him. He is so annoy!' And I just want to tell them to shut the fuck up, _at least theirs is there_" My voice must of broke. Coco reached over and wiped a tear off my cheek. I forced myself to continue.

"Anyway," I said, my voice immediately stronger. "I went to the tree house because," I paused. "I always felt more calm when I was there. Like I could think better. And Ricky showed up, for apparently the same reason. We sat there and talked for hours about nothing important. And then we were playing truth or dare. He said truth and I asked him if he like his family. He was hesitant to even mention it. But he at least told me some of it. He said that his dad drinks and leaves the house so much he doesn't even think his dad remembers him. And his mother follows his dad everywhere. To bars, to business dinners and meetings, to the grocery store. Ricky said his parents' marriage was going to end, because his dad was cheating on his mom with multiple girls, so his mom got pregnant with him. And his dad stuck around. And got even drunker." I finished explaining, almost cracking a smile.

"Is that why Ricky doesn't let anyone in?" Francia asked, after a moment.

I shrugged. "Probably." I answered. "His parents left him alone too much when he was really little. I think he developed a complex."

"A complex?" Coco raised her eyebrow to me.

I couldn't figure out how to word it. "A fear of abandonment." I finally decided that phrase covered Ricky's issues the best.

Francia turned her head to look at me, wide eyed. She almost looked like she wanted to laugh. "A fear of abandonment?" She asked, but continued before I could answer. "Princess, _you_ have a fear of abandonment."

"I do not!" I automatically defended.

"Uh, yeah, you do!" Francia argued back.

"How the hell do I have one!" I couldn't believe what she was saying. I wasn't afraid.

"Your dad, your boyfriend, Nate!" she listed off examples.

"What are you talking about?" I still didn't understand.

She hesitated for a second. "How old were you when your mother left your father?" She asked after a slight pause.

"Eighteen months," I said automatically.

She nodded. "That is still very young?" She looked at me for conformation.

"Yes." I had no idea where she was going with this. Hell, this is Francia! Of course I didn't know where she was going with this.

"How often did you see your father after that?" Francia asked

"Not that often….." I trailed off. She waited. "About two weeks every summer," I finally said. I didn't understand why she needed to hear this. She already knew it. I had told her before.

"That's not that often." Francia finally said.

"I know," I sighed. "I still don't understand how I have a fear of abandonment, though." I was obviously being stubborn.

"You used to start crying for no apparent reason." She stated simply. "Are you telling me that your dad had nothing to do with it?"

"Yes." I knew I was lying. So did she.

"That's a lie." She said

"Maybe it is…." I mumbled. I sighed.

"I heard you in the kitchen. When you were talking to your father and you said 'Can you at least pretend to love me'." Francia mentioned. "And I remember when we were in the fifth grade and you started bawling because your dad forgot your birthday." She said again.

I looked away, not liking talking about this. "Coco," I started. "I don't like my dad, okay?" She didn't buy it, obviously.

"Mason told me, Millie and Nate about a time when you showed up to his house, when his parents were away for the weekend, and you were crying. You said you just wanted your dad to love you." She called me on another time in my life when everything sucked.

"I was just upset," I said, even though I knew this argument wasn't going to get me anywhere.

"You know, you may pretend to be all tough, but underneath that angry exterior is a little girl who wants her father to love her." She said, knowingly. "or maybe there is a teenager who wants their boyfriend to never leave them alone because their man is what holds them together." She pointed out.

"Excuse me?" I was confused.

"I saw you and Edward, Princess. You didn't want him to leave and you were laying on top of him, clinging to him, almost like he was your lifeline." She explained. She then laughed. "Not like he minded."

I laughed a quiet laugh. "I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone." I said to Francia.

"I know." She smiled, a little. "Didn't you say the same thing about Novalee and Nate?" She asked a minute later.

"Novalee is a different kind of love. She's my daughter." I said in present tense. I knew Francia noticed that too. "And Nate is…." I trailed off, not sure what to say.

"You hang around Nate because she makes you feel better." She said, as if she was just stating the weather.

"I do not," I argued once again.

"You and Nate are, _at least_, forever bonded by Novalee" Francia amended, not wanting to argue.

I couldn't argue with that. "Hey, Coco what about you?" I realized we had been talking about me for a while.

"Huh?" I must of confused her.

"How are your parents doing?" I asked.

"They are getting back together." She smiled; obviously this is what she wanted.

"That's nice," I was glad at least one of us could have a happy home life. I thought of a new question, one that had been bubbling on my tongue for almost a whole day now. "How did you and everyone react when I left?" I asked meekly.

Francia took an intake of breath, not prepared for this question. "Bella," I knew this wasn't going to be good by the time she said my actual name. I looked at her, expectantly. She sighed. "I got up the next day and got dressed and went to school like normal." she was looking down at her hands. "I was looking for you all through first period. But you weren't there." She paused then continued. "I texted you at least 6 times throughout the day. You always texted back when you were sick so it was a shock that you didn't. I walked home and sat at my kitchen table for two hours with Allie and Millie, Dustin and Tommy." She paused remembering. "I called your house at least four times throughout the night. Finally Renee answered. When I asked where you were, she said 'Didn't Bella tell you? She is now living with her father.'" She finished.

Francia looked up at me. I avoided her gaze. "I'm sorry." I said after a minute.

"You're sorry?" She asked, fired up. "Princess," She said, exasperated. "Do you know what it was like for me, when I had to tell Nate that you were never coming back? Or having you screen our calls? What about losing a best friend that I've had since Kindergarden? I watched Nate cry over your leaving more than once. Ricky too! And probably everyone else. You just took off and left like there was no tomorrow and like Nate and Novalee didn't even matter. No, no, that's not the right words! _Like they didn't ever exist_!" She finished her rant.

"I know it was hard on you guys but it wasn't like I was over here, living in rainbows and sunshine!" I defended.

"Why did you even leave?" Francia wasn't over her rant yet.

"Because I couldn't take it anymore!" I exclaimed. "The constant reminders that I had gotten pregnant and then lost my baby! That I was such as crappy mother that God decided that I wasn't allowed to raise my child! That fact that if I was a better mother my baby would have fought harder for her life! That if I was a better person my father would have remembered me. No better yet, he would have paid attention to me! The fact that my mother just couldn't stop getting drunk and having sex with any object that was a male! Or the fact that me and Nate were fighting when Ryann crashed into us! Maybe, if we weren't fighting, Nate would have paid better attention to the road and he would have seen Ryann's car and stopped in time! Maybe if I was a better person this wouldn't have happened! I just wanted to forget!" I didn't even realize I was crying.

Coco's face softened and she reached out to hug me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come off so harsh. I just missed you." She explained as we pulled back.

"I missed you too, and everyone else. Even that bitch Scarrlett from school." I laughed, along with Francia, wiping my eyes.

"Bella," She started to talk again. "about what you said..." She trailed off, trying to find the words.

"Don't worry about it." I concluded

"No, I need to say this." She insisted. "God had nothing to do with you losing your baby. Nova's death was a horribly tragic accident."

"Accident? Are you kidding me, Coco! That fricking crackhead, Ryann Daniel Carter, crashed into Nate's car and killed my daughter! And while he was f-ing shot up! That is no fricken accident!" I blurted before thinking.

I hated Ryann for hurting my baby. I hated him.

"Never get you alone with a knife and Ryann Carter in the same room, Princess." Francia laughed quietly.

"...Or a gun..." I said under my breath.

**AN: Sorry, I've been slow lately. Reviews always help motivate me. :)**


	29. Chapter 28: Flashback: Father's Day

**AN: So I really don't even know if I am planning on posting this. But I guess if your reading it, I must of. So, if you look in the beginning chapters where I would have flashbacks, I purposely didn't have them in first person's POV because if I hadn't decided what Bella would sound like. I mean she was a fourteen year old, bitter, brat-which I am. But back then she didn't have a baby or anything. So she obviously would sound different. (And if you think I made a grammer mistake, guess what? I did that on purpose!) Well here's how Bella (or at least the one in my story) sounded. Enjoy (If I even posted this.)**

I was crying my eyes out. I hated my life. I hated how nothing I did was ever good enough for Charlie to even remember I existed. And how my parents sucked. I mean they really did. I hated my mother for what she was doing. Going out with that ass hole after what he did to me? Who the hell does that? If it were my daughter I would have dumped his sorry ass when she told me. I didn't even tell Renee. She was there. Oh! And then she told everyone that I fell off the fricken swing set. I'm fourteen, damn it. Who the hell plays on swing sets anymore! I sighed, angry. I rubbed the back of my hand across my eyes. But Renee wasn't the only person to piss me off.

On my way to school, I saw three kids and their father. Then I saw two boys and their dad. Then I saw a little girl and her dad. And then I saw two little girls and a little boy and their grandpa. Seriously! What the hell! Don't they have to go to school!

Today at school, my friends Lena and Tara were talking. They were saying how much they didn't like their fathers. That's all they would say ALL period! I mean seriously! How selfish can they be? I love them but come on! Lena was all, "Why do we celebrate father's day? My dad is such a jerk!"

"I don't know," Tara agreed, "All my dad does is work. I only see him, like what? Three times a day?"

I would kill to have my dad three times a day. Selfish bitches.

Francia then joined the conversation. "You're lucky, Tara. My dad is so annoying. He never leaves me alone. My mother won't get back together with him though. But they live together!" She sounded pissed off. The more they talked the more pissed I became. Even at Francia. And she was totally my best friend.

So when I got to my next class I was hoping it would be different. Like everyone wouldn't be talking or complaining or whatever you called it, about their dads. But, oh no! Can Bella ever get lucky? No, Bella cannot! And no, I don't mean that in a dirty way.

I sat behind Mason, Casey and this other kid, Frankie. I know, hideous name. Oh and his face matched his name. But I wanted a distraction. No such luck, of course. I should have thought more like my uncle Troy.

Uncle Troy's classic sayings: Don't have expectations because they will fail. Don't believe in anyone because they will let you down. Don't trust anyone because it'll bite you in the ass. And life's a bitch, then you marry one.

But back to class today. Frankie's first words- or the first words I actually cared that he said were, "Father's day sucks."

"Why?" I asked annoyed. I was glaring at him.

"Because it does," Frankie made a face at me.

"I asked a freaking question!" I yelled.

"Don't get all bitchy on me, Princess," Frankie ordered. So I repeated myself.

I slapped him on the back of the head. "I asked a question, dick! Why does father's day suck?" I wanted what I wanted.

"Ouch," He yelped. The teacher wasn't really doing anything. It was the end of June. School ran late for some dumb reason. I don't really pay much attention. I mainly copied off Allie, who actually cares about her grades.

"Well, then answer my damn question." I demanded

"Father's day sucks 'cause my dad is an ass." Frankie yelled at me.

Casey hit him. "Don't yell at a girl, Frank"

"Seriously dude." Mason chimed in.

"Whatever," Frankie gruffed.

"Douche bag," I said obviously to Frankie.

"Bitch," He said back, earning another hit this time from Mason.

"Oh, and I'm guessing you love your father?" Frankie said to Mason, obviously mocking him.

"Sure, whatever you wanna say." Mason pretended to play it off coolly because he is a guy and guys are not very good with touchy feely crap.

"What 'bout you, dude?" Frankie asked Casey.

Casey shrugged. "My dad is kinda a prick, but he gives me money to go blow on whatever I want so I'm okay with it."

"Lucky." I said

"Why?" Casey asked me

"Because Renee gets all the child support my dad sends and she spends it all on alcohol and _Chad_," I said, Mason understood, Casey and Frankie not so much.

"What?" Frankie asked.

"Nothing, loser," I snapped.

"Ugly ass bitch" He spat.

"Pizza face prick!" I yelled, standing. Mason pushed me by the shoulders back down. "What the hell," I shrieked.

"Pissy much?" Scarlett, a bitchy girl that I didn't like, said from behind me.

"Can it, whore" I said without looking behind me. She shut up so there was no point in paying that stupid slut more attention than I absolutely had to.

"Why are you so mad?" Mason said like he didn't want to know.

"I'm not," I denied.

"Uh, yeah, little girl, you are." Casey insisted

"I'm exercising my freedom of speech," I spat.

"Or maybe you just have an issue talking about your dad?" Frankie suggested.

"_I_ love my dad," Scarlett said from behind me. I was ready to write a book about her. _To Kill a Mocking Bitch. _Oh! That would be a best seller!

"Did we invited you into this conversation?" I asked, facing her. "No. Stay the hell out of it," I ordered.

She started to stand. I jumped out of my seat, about to pounce on her, when Casey grabbed me from behind.

"Down, girl," Casey said, calmly. He was always the one to calm me down.

"Shut up," I ordered. "I'm not your dog, Casey"

"Well stop acting like one," He answered, his voice still at a indoors level.

"Now you sound like my grandma." I responded. "Or how she did before she died."

"I happened to love your grandma, Princess." Casey cracked a smile.

"Me too." Mason smiled.

I smiled back, calmer. "Yeah, yeah. Me too" I agreed.

After class was out, I was taking a break by my locker. Two of my acquaintances walked by, Juli and Lyle. Juli was talking. "Oh my god. My dad is bugging my to spend time with him. He is so annoying!"

They didn't realize I was there, so I tried to use the little maturity I _did_ have and not flip my lid, but come on! I wish Charlie would want to spend time with me. Or better yet, _ask _to spend time with me.

But no! No! He just _has_ to put his job ahead of everything else in his whole entire life. I wished Renee wouldn't have left Charlie in the first place. Or I wish she would let me live with one of my friends. I mean come on! She wants to stay with Chad, then she needs to sacrifice something! And she forgot about me a LONG time ago.

So when I got home, I dropped my stuff in the doorway and ran to the kitchen where I forgot my iPhone this morning. I then realized that I had never gotten Charlie's number before. I had to go digging through this really crappy phone book and find his number. When I got it- FINALLY- I dialed in into my phone. It rang and rang and rang while I paced. I got his answering machine.

I screamed bloody murder, kicking the chair in front of me over. "Damn it!" I cursed,

Renee came wandering down the stairs, finishing putting in her earrings. She was used to my screaming. "Something wrong, babe?" Renee asked me.

"No." I said coldly, slamming down my phone on the counter. "Not at all," I glared at my cell phone.

"You have plans tonight?" Renee asked while she fixed her lip-gloss.

"Nope," I said popping the p. Renee stepped over the broken chair, without looking away from her mirror and sat in the one next to it. I sat down across the table.

"Why are you so upset?" She asked, rubbing off the extract lip-gloss with her pinky while still looking in her mini mirror.

"I just am," I said, still fuming.

"This has something to do with your father, doesn't it?" She asked, finally slipping away her mirror and spinning the cap back on the tube.

"And why would you say that?" I asked sarcastically, fighting a smile.

"Well, considering what day it is…." Renee shot back, motioning at the calendar. I laughed for a brief second. "You should try giving your father a call." Renee said solemnly.

"Why the hell would I do that?" I said snarky.

"Because you probably miss him," She raised one eyebrow, daring me to argue. And well, I never pass up a chance for a fight or yelling match.

"I SO do not," There was no was in seven hells I was giving in.

She grabbed my phone from the counter. "Well it looks like you already did." She smiled. She was laughing at me! That pissed me off.

"Oh my god! Can I get no privacy anymore!" I yelled, ripping the phone out of Renee's hands.

"You should call your father back," Renee suggested, still laughing as she grabbed her purse and dug through it.

"No, YOU should." I said, seriously. "Charlie wouldn't ignore your calls." I was only half kidding. My dad was still hung up on my mom. It was obvious that was the only reason he still acknowledged me. Well, kinda.

Renee didn't seem to hear me. And of course, why would she? She had SO many more important things to worry about. Why would she care she had a child? Charlie obviously didn't.

"You should call your dad back," Renee said again as she texted someone on her blackberry. I gave her a funny look. "Maybe you should tell him about those five classes you failed last semester." She looked annoyed even though she wasn't looking at me.

"It's not like daddy would care," I said, not concerned who heard me.

Renee put her phone down. She looked at me tenderly, like she was looking at me for the first time in this conversation. "Your father cares." Renee insisted. I rolled my eyes, not about to let myself get upset about it. Renee sighed, grabbing my face. "Whatever issues you have with your dad, it's nothing you've done and there's nothing you can do. The problem is between your father and me." Renee tried to explain. She faked a smile. "Okay?"

I nodded, not meeting her gaze. I looked down, at her shoes. Renee was wearing red heels. "Are you going on a date?" I blurted out.

"Yes, smart girl," Renee tapped my nose, jokingly.

"With who?" I feared the answer.

"Chad?" Renee said as if I should have known.

"What the fuck!" I yelled or gasped or whatever I did.

"Language, Isabella!" She scolded me.

"But you ARE going on a DATE with CHAD!" I yelled. Renee grabbed her blackberry cell phone off the counter and started to walk away. "Oh no! You don't get to walk away from me!" I yelled, grabbing onto her arm. But Renee is bigger than me and she continued walking so I got drug across the floor. "MOM!" I screeched

"PRINCESS!" She said back, not as loud as me, annoyed, flinging me on the couch. I crossed my arms, pissed.

"Why are you doing this to me," I said with clenched teeth.

"Bella-" She tried to reason.

"Leave," I said in a monotone. She didn't budge. "LEAVE!" I screamed, throwing something off the coffee table at the wall.

She rolled her eyes, used to my tantrums. She leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I love you." She said. I still didn't meet her gaze.

"I know," I said, turning my head away from her and staring at the coffee cup I broke. Renee turned to leave.

"Clean that up." She said pointing at the coffee cup and chair. As soon as she was gone, I grabbed a pillow screaming into it. I ran upstairs, into my room. I flung myself on my bed, trying not to cry. Instead I punched my pillows. I sighed after a minute, deciding to take Renee's advise. I grabbed the house phone off my floor and dialed Charlie's number while it was still fresh in my head.

I stood up, looking at myself in the mirror. What the hell was I thinking? It's not like Charlie can actually see me. God, I was dumb!

"Hello?" A masculine voice said. I jumped a mile. "Who is this?" Charlie asked. I tried to say, 'This is your daughter, Isabella. Remember me? Well, I just want to say happy father's day. I miss you. And I hope that you miss me.' But I couldn't. I couldn't make my stupid ass mouth form the right words. All I could do is stutter like a dumb shit.

"Hello?" The voice demanded,

I pressed the hang up button quickly. I took a deep breath then let out a groan as I threw my hairbrush straight into my mirror hanging on my wall. It bounced off. Too bad, I was hoping the damn thing would break. The mirror was a gift from the scum sucking asshole that my mother decided to date.

I grabbed the phone and dialed again, deciding to try another time. I mean, the worst that could happen is he told me he was too busy. He had said that before. Or he could tell me he would call me back. He probably wouldn't though. He might think its Renee. That was probably the reason he even picked up in the first place. He might say 'It's great to hear from you'. That would never happen. He might not remember me. That thought made me end the call.

I chucked the phone at the mirror this time. It left no damage to that freaking mirror. I tried calling him again. Before he could even finish saying hello, I had hung up and thrown the phone on my bed. I tried a few more times but that just resulted in my tossing my lamp through window.

I blinked hard, then fast walked on the balcony. I gripped the railing tightly, hoping for support. But not even the railing could give me that. I wanted to scream but I couldn't find my voice. I even tried calling Charlie back. He didn't even pick up this time.

Oh my god! Why didn't he pick up! He was supposed to pick up. It's father's day or night or whatever the hell it was, for crying out loud! Did he remember he had a daughter? Was I not worth remembering? I did what I always did when I was pissed. I ran down the stairs into Renee's room. I stepped over Renee's ex-boyfriend Phil's baseball bat. He left it here when they broke up. He called at least a dozen times trying to ask for it back but Renee was being a childish snot and decided to screen his calls. They get back together all the time, so he'll probably get it back eventually.

Wait! Is THAT why Charlie wants nothing to do with his offspring? Renee drove him away so far that now he doesn't remember me? What a jerk. I hated him and her! I hated both of them! Let her call him and tell him all about my grades! Let her tell him that I had my belly button pierced by some random dude that was a high school drop out in the making! Let her tell him that I vandalized the school with my friend- and hopefully lover- Nate Carter! Then I'd tell him all about the time that she slept with my teacher! Or the time she slept with my babysitter! Or how she slept with two guys-brothers!–in the same night. With me down stairs! Or how she used to come home drunk with a random guy! And I was what? Five, when she did that! She still does that!

Or maybe I should tell him about the time Chad shoved- no wait! HE THREW ME- me down the stairs and that was after he shoved me straight into the wall. Then when Renee took me in to get tested for a concussion, she told the doctor I fell off a swing! A fricken swing! And now she's on a date with the bastard! She sucks! I hate her, so much!

But I was just kidding myself; Charlie wouldn't care if I had a concussion. I grabbed the bat and ran into the living room. I swung it across the coffee table, managing to knock everything else over in its way. I hit the wall with it too and dented the kitchen table. I was still so pissed.

I was pissed in general and at Charlie and Renee! I was pissed at everything and everyone. I dropped the bat and grabbed my cell phone. I didn't want to miss a call or text. I had to get out of there. I was gonna go ballistic and I didn't want a neighbor to call nine one one.

Hell, who was I kidding? The neighbors were used to my tantrum. They stopped calling for help a long time ago.

I ran back to Renee's room and found her jeans from yesterday. I dug through the pockets and found thirty bucks. I grabbed the fifty-dollar bill off her dresser and ran. On my way out I spotted Renee's bottle of vodka on the floor. I took a swig then left.

I made sure to shut the door and lock it as I grabbed my key, shoving it into my bra. I took the fire escape, not wanting to wait with the other thirty people for the elevator.

I jumped down onto the sidewalk, avoiding toppling on top of a bunch of pedestrians, and walked down the streets of Phoenix, very quietly. I made sure to pull my hood to my _Juicy Couture_ jacket up. I had Gwen jack it from the store for me.

I ran down the streets until I reached a point where it became less crowded. I realized I had brought my iPhone with me. I gripped it in my hand. Should I call Charlie back or not? Yes or No?

I couldn't decide. Come on, Bella, think like hell! Should you call your ass of a dad back or not? The one that abandoned you when you were less than two, the one who rarely sees you and never calls.

"Well, when you put it like that…" I said to myself, pulling out the phone. I pressed the button, knowing it would automatically go back to the last call. It rang and rang but nobody picked up. The same thing happened the second time. And the third time.

"Story of my life," I mumbled, infuriated, to myself.

I didn't realize until that point where I was going. My feet automatically brought me to the stupid tree house that the neighborhood built when I was little. At the time, it was the coolest thing in the world. Now it was just a piece of crap.

But I still managed to pull myself into the piece of rotting wood. It seemed sturdy enough. Actually, it was pretty nice inside. I sat on the floor of the place, my phone still in my hands. I redialed Charlie's number one last time just to see if my luck suddenly changed.

It didn't. He never picked up. Actually, that's a lie. The phone didn't even ring. It went straight to voice mail. That means, Charlie ignored the call.

I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down and started crying. And that is where I am right now. Sitting here, crying, feeling stupid and worthless. What was so wrong with me that my own father couldn't stand me? There had to be something. I just couldn't think of it. Maybe that means I'm stupid. I guess that's true….

The next thing I know, someone else is climbing in next to me. I turned and screamed.

He grabbed my mouth. "Shut up, Princess, it's just me," Ricky's voice said. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sorry," I said, quickly. He laughed.

"What are you doing here?" He asked gently.

I shrugged, looking away. Even though it was dark he still managed to see that I was crying. He wiped the tears from my face as he draped his arm around me, pulling my into his side. I rested my forehead again his cheek.

"Sorry," I sniffed, trying to make it go away.

"For what?" He asked, almost laughing.

"Crying?" I said, unsure. Now he really did laugh. I hit him, like I did to Frankie at school but the difference is I did it gently to Ricky. "Shut up," I tried not to laugh too, but like most things in my life, I failed miserably. "Why are you here?" I asked, Ricky was still wiping my tears.

"I hate my father." He said simply. "And my mother. What about you?" He asked, smiling

"Same reason," I said, looking at my track pants that matched my hoodie. I had gotten Gwen to shoplift both for me.

"Really," He looked surprised. "You never mention your father," He looked at me curious.

I shrugged. "Not much to say," I hated Father's Day. That's all there is to it.

"I know what you mean." He agreed.

I shook it off. "So, how's life?" I changed the subject.

"Just freaking fantastic." He said sarcastic.

"Same here," I rolled my eyes, friggin bitter a hell.

We talked for a little bit, not really keeping track of the time. About to hours later we were both lying across the floor of this crappy tree house and playing truth or dare. We were lying in opposite directions so our heads were by each other.

"Truth," I said, unevenly.

"How far have you gone with Nate?" Ricky asked, pervertly.

"I haven't even kissed him." I said dryly. Ricky and Francia were more interested in my sex life with Nate than anything. Believe me, though, so was I. I'm fricking counting down the days until I can call that boy mine. Every inch of him...

"Aww, little Princess is still a lip virgin." He mocked.

"At least I'm not screwing an object that is willing, RICKY." I shot back, smiling. Ricky always makes me smile, even when I'm sad or mad or pissed. Well, I guess that mad and pissed are the same things though.

Ricky laughed too. "Okay, okay. It's your turn, babe." He said.

"Truth or dare?" I asked

"Truth," He said. We never do that many dare because they are usually really stupid. We rarely even play this game anymore anyway.

I thought for a moment, not sure what to ask. "Do you like your parents?" I asked, after minute. We sat up so I could look him in the eye.

He studied my face the way I hate when my mother does it. It's really annoying. Ricky took a deep breath in, thinking about my question. I knew I shouldn't have asked but I really wanted to know. Ricky is careful to even mention his parents; they are a really sore subject. "I don't really know my parents. As far as I can tell. They're assholes." I laughed at his answer. "I'm serious." He smiled back at me. "You know what?" He asked after a second.

"What?" I said quietly.

"My dad doesn't remember me. He drinks so much, I'm surprised he hasn't gotten alcohol poisoning. He leaves as he pleases and my mother follows. The only reason they had a kid was to save their marriage. My dad was cheating with a bunch of different chicks and my mom needed security. So she purposely got knocked up. And my dad stayed." He explained. I was shocked. He never talks about his parents or his family or why he's always so guarded. "My parents pretty much decided after I was born that I shouldn't have been." He mentioned quietly, looking away.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Don't be, Bella" Wow, calling me Bella. That's no something you see everyday. He laughed again. "Some people say I have a complex from my parents. And I do. I know that, but I don't like talking about it because-" I cut him off.

"It's like you have it all bottled up and taken care of, then the littlest thing happens and the flood gates reopen. And the next thing you know, it's like you just can't forget it. Even if they have forgotten you." I said, slowly, understanding his pain.

"Yeah," He smiled. "That's it exactly."

"My parents did it too." I said, half hoping he hadn't heard me.

"What?" He asked.

"My mom and dad decided I shouldn't have born after I already was." I said more clear.

He paused, looking at me. "You don't talk about your parents ever, for the same exact reason I don't?" He said, sure of himself.

I nodded. "It's like picking at a cut over and over again. It just keeps bleeding and stings just as bad as the first time." I compared. "My dad doesn't even remember me." I added, my voice slightly breaking.

"But I thought you liked your dad." Ricky noted, curious. I raised an eyebrow. How the hell did he think of that? "Francia told me that you told her that you and your dad were close." Ricky answered my unspoken question.

"I lied." I admitted, blankly.

"Why?" I could hear the curiosity dripping in his voice.

"I just wanted to have a normal family, like everyone else, you know?" I explained.

"What normal family?" Ricky laughed softly. "Who has a normal family?" Ricky asked, teasing.

"Everyone but us." I was serious. I hoped I hadn't offended him.

Ricky rolled his eyes. "Francia's mom didn't even tell her father that Francia was born. He didn't know she existed until she was nine," Ricky used an example.

"He's been there ever since." I pointed out curtly.

"Still missed nine years." Ricky argued back. I didn't respond. "Allie's father kicks her mom out all the time." Ricky said again.

"For getting drunk off her ass and cheating on him, constantly!" I laughed a little.

"My point stands." Ricky was hella stubborn today. "Millie's mom and dad have gotten divorced three times and they're on their fourth marriage." He reminded me.

"To each other." I rolled my eyes.

"Casey's mom died in a car accident, Mason's parents are never home at the same time, Gwen's dad and aunt and brother all died of alcohol poisoning." Ricky listed off more of our friends' tragic lives.

"Their parents are always checking up on them, telling where to go, talking to them, helping with their homework..."I trailed off. "Their parents don't miss much in their lives even if they have screwed up relationships." Wasn't a bad defense. I should become a lawyer.

"Tommy's mom has a restraining order against his father." God, how many things is Ricky going to list off?

"The restraining order isn't about Tommy. He can still see his dad." I pointed out.

"When his mom isn't around." Ricky shot back. I merely shrugged. I would take that situation over my life any day. "Dustin's parents work constantly."

"To pay for Dustin's needs and I've never heard Dustin complain." I really wasn't giving up.

"I've never heard you complain until tonight." Ricky said quietly.

"I don't like spilling my feelings all over the floor." I said, half sarcastic.

Ricky was silent for a minute. "Taylor's mother is a control freak."

"At least she remembers her." I mumbled.

"Nate's dad drinks so much, he doesn't remember he even had kids or a wife. Remember last year, when Nate got called out of class in the middle of the day to go to the hospital? His dad had alcohol poisoning. And that's happened before too." Nate and Ricky had been friends longer than I had known either one of them. "And there's something not right about his one brother, Ryann. He's like always strung out." I laughed at his observation. "See, Princess? There are no perfect families." Ricky said. "It's normal for things to be shitty." He smiled but I couldn't make my facial muscles work right.

"I don't believe parents actually care what's best for us." I said randomly, looking straight ahead. "I mean, just because they're adults doesn't mean they know crap."

"I never thought they did." Ricky half smiled, looking at me.

"I did," My voice was so low, it was barely audible. "I really really thought my dad would change," I said just as quiet as before.

"Bella-" Ricky started

"It may be normal, Ricky. But it still hurts..." I felt myself start crying again. Ricky didn't say anything else. I looked up at the roof of the tree house we were still sitting in. "All our friends' parents died or have legit excuses. My daddy just doesn't love me." My voice was so broken and pitchy it wasn't even funny.

"Aww, baby, don't cry." Ricky put his arm around me as I started to break down. He pulled me into his lap and enveloped me into his arms as I continued to sob. It wasn't romantic. More like he was my big brother. After what felt like absolutely forever, I stopped crying.

"Let's do something else." I said finally, clearing my throat.

"Sure." Ricky agreed. "There's this party downtown I was invited to. You wanna go?" He asked, I nodded. "There's gonna be drinking and grinding though." He warned, obviously he had no problem with it. I shrugged,

"I don't care." I said, as Ricky rubbed the rest of my tears away. "Do you still have my mini skirt and halter top at your house?" I asked. I always kept a spare outfit at Ricky, Nate and Francia's house incase I needed it, because I didn't want to go back to an empty house when Renee was partying or on a date or hungover or I forgot my key or something.

"Yeah." He responded.

"Okay..." I trailed off as he looked at me. "I don't wanna go home tonight." I answer they clear question on his face. He nodded.

"Do you have your key to your condo?" Ricky asked.

I felt my boobs for a minute, "Yeah." I found where I had stuffed it. Like there was much room to stuff it. "Can I stay at your house tonight?" I felt him nod.

"Come on, Princess. Let's go get drunk." Ricky laughed as we hopped out of the tree house.

**AN: Happy one-year anniversary to this story! Oh and just incase you didn't pick up on it, this is what Bella mentioned in the last chapter while talking to Francia. And I now have poll on my profile that I absolutely NEED people to vote on. It's a question of who do you want Bella to end up with in this story? Nate or Edward? I am honestly undecided. I think the poll is open to people who don't have accounts too. Please please pretty freaking please vote. :)**


	30. Chapter 29: Opening Up

**AN:Here's the next chapter. You know, origanally this was suppossed to be a short chapter. 16 reviews.**

In the morning Edward came back to my house to drive Coco and me to the airport. As we drove Coco and me talked while Edward listened in.

"So did I tell you that Ricky is sleeping with that girl Rachelle we went to PV Jr High with?" Francia gossiped.

"The skank?" I asked, causing Edward to chuckle

"Yeah with the freckles and she always wore ugly shoes and track pants and bent over slowly so guys would like her. And she had a nasty frizzy red hair," Coco described

"Eww!" I shrieked, making Edward jump. "She's a fire bush!" **(AN: Really don't know if I should have put that but whatever. No offense to red heads out there.)**

Edward cracked up along with Francia, until me and her jumped at the same time. "Watch the road!" We both yelled.

Edward got a mischievous look in his eyes. Then he stepped on the truck's gas peddle and brought it to it's internal speed limit, swerving all over the place. There weren't very many car-or cops, thankfully-within miles radius but it still scared the crap out of Coco and me. My truck groaned in disagreement to the speed it was being forced to travel at.

Coco chuckled, as Edward forced to slow down. "I really hate this piece of junk." Edward commented.

"It reminds me of a knock off of Nate's truck." Francia commented, wryly.

I nudged her, signaling to shut up but Edward had of course, heard her. "Nate has a truck?" Edward asked, his eyes cutting to me.

"Don't you remember our conversation with the guys from school right before I found out that Nate was there?" I reminded him. **(AN: Look at near the end of _2. Chapter 1: That Sounds so Familiar_ if you don't understand.)**

"Oh, yes." Edward looked embarrassed he didn't remember with him perfect mind and all.

"Yeah, Bella was really attached to that truck." Francia said slowly, meaning to tease me.

"Really," Edward looked at her, feigning interesting.

"Oh, yeah." She laughed to herself. "Spent every lunch with Nate in that truck. And after school. Those two loved parking lots."

Edward looked like he wanted to make a comment but didn't. I couldn't read his expression. "Do you think that's why she got this truck?" Edward asked, skipping over me like I wasn't there, probably because he knew I would either be embarrassed or wouldn't tell him the truth.

"Maybe, but Bella has always like strange things." Francia shrugged. "Look at Novalee's name." She whispered and almost seemed like she wished she hadn't.

"Hey!" I defended myself and my child's honor. "That name was partly because of Star so can it, Coco."

"Sorry. Was just trying to find a good example of weird things you like," Francia explained.

"I didn't like Nate's truck _that _much." I emphasized.

She laughed. "Oh, that's why you spent most of your free time in the back seat." She laughed but stopped when she realized Edward in the car.

Edward gave me a funny expression, after seeing something in Coco's mind. "I didn't spend time in the backseat of Nate's truck." I was telling the truth. Francia raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow. "Nate's truck doesn't have a backseat!" I laughed.

"How's the front seat?" She teased.

"Crammed." I said automatically. "And steering wheels hurt." I noted and fought back a laugh.

"I'll keep that in mind." Francia said, rolling her eyes.

I gazed up at Edward. He wasn't looking at the road, but fighting a smile, looking at me. Francia and me noticed this at the same time. "Eyes on the road!" We both yelled again.

Edward, perfectly at ease of course, turned his attention back to the road, snickering at us. I rolled my eyes at my show off boyfriend.

"Anyway…." Francia started back up, getting back to her original point before we trailed off. "Ricky slept with her and then I was like 'You better get checked for STDs' and he was like 'I would only get them from you' and I was like 'You asshole' and he was like 'What the hell does that make you?' and I was like 'Go to hell' and he was like 'I'm with you aren't I?'." Francia informed me.

I didn't mean to but I laughed. Francia glared at me. "Sorry, Coco. I'm laughing because I think Nate said that to me once. Or twice. Or maybe more…" I trailed off.

She laughed, "Yeah I was there." She paused, "Why do we hang out with the meanest guys, Princess?" She smiled, probably really wondering.

"Because they're hot." I said, realizing too late that I still had Edward next to me. He stiffened at first then to my utter shock, he chuckled.

"Do I fit under that category, love?" Edward asked, light heartedly.

I was actually honest, for the first time not editing my thoughts around Edward. "Not anymore, but when we first met, uh, yeah." I said very bluntly, hoping I didn't offend him.

He chuckled. "Thanks," He said sarcastically.

"I love you." I said looking up at him.

He rolled his eyes and said "Mmmhm." I was shocked. He was actually acting like a seventeen year old or eighteen year old. He normally acted really mature. Now it seemed like my sudden fifteen-year-old ways were rubbing off on him.

"Uh!" I made a sound like a valley girl and pretended to be scorn. I swatted him, purposely not hitting him too hard now. I learned my lesson when I hurt my hand in my room a few days ago.

"Wow, you two." Coco shook her head at us.

"What?" I asked, beaming.

"You guys are such dorks."

"We are not," I defended him and me. Then I flashed a really uncharacteristically bubbly smile.

Francia laughed. "Why are you in such a good mood today?" She asked

"What? I can't be happy that I'm with my boyfriend and my best friend!" I exclaimed, realizing I was acting silly.

Like he read my thoughts-though I knew he couldn't. "Bella is acting silly. But it's precious." He smiled, trying to not insult me even though he was teasing me.

I sighed, like a total loser. "I know I am." I said, pretending to be full of myself.

Edward and Francia laughed. "Wow, love. You really are expressing your inner loser." Edward teased, very unlike him.

I gasped at him. "Jeeerrrrkkk!" I pretended to be angry.

"I love you." He said, quoting me and my tone of voice.

"I know." I said, rolling my eyes. He faked glared at me.

Francia laughed. "You guys are almost as entertaining as Princess and Nate."

"I never understood what everyone always meant by we were entertaining when we fought." I wondered, completely random.

"You guys said the randomist and strangest things." Francia explained. "Like the time guys were fighting and you said 'Well you were just determined to stick it in me!'" We all laughed at that.

"Can you try not to bring up the whole sex thing in front of Edward?" I asked wryly.

"Sorry. Forgot you two hadn't done it yet." Francia said unashamed. "Make sure to text me when you do." She whispered in my ear, no idea that Edward could hear it better than me.

I felt him chuckled only because I was under his arm. "I will." I promised, looking directly at Edward.

He rolled his eyes. "We're almost there." He noted, but I noticed that double meaning that fit perfectly into the previous conversation. I think he just said that to tease me, though. He'd never let us go very far. Well, except in my new favorite room of the Cullens' house. Carlisle's study...

"Oh my god, I'm gonna miss you, girly." Coco said to me.

"I'm going to miss too." I said, sadly.

"Make sure to visit me sometime." She hinted. "And bring him with you." Francia pointed to Edward. "Oh, and bring Nate too." She flashed her teeth.

"Oh yeah, Ricky would love to meet Edward." I rolled my eyes, imagining Ricky inspecting Edward like the big brother I never wanted.

Apparently Francia had a similar image in her head, because Edward laughed. Ignoring him, Coco said, "I'm pretty sure Mason, Casey, Tommy and Dustin would try to intimidate him too." She suggested. I laughed, figuring it was true. "Have you seen Aidenn yet?" Francia asked. I shook my head. "Well, tell him and Nate's other siblings I said hi."

"Okay," I said, as Edward parked my truck in the airport parking lot.

Francia grabbed her knock off bag and hugged me goodbye. "I love you," She said, unlocking the door.

"Love you too." I said as she walked away.

I pouted for a moment as Edward pulled away. "You sad, love?" Edward noticed my pout.

"Kind of. But Francia will probably be back soon anyway so there's not much point." I shrugged, as Edward turned the corner.

"I thought none of your friends had money?" Edward asked. I raised an eyebrow. He finished his sentence, "How'd she afford a plane ticket?"

"Her mom is a flight attendant." I explained.

"Oh" Edward mouth.

"So..." I said changing the subject. "What were Francia's thoughts like?" I asked. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" He playfully tapped my nose.

"Come on! I really wanna know!" I whined, realizing a second later how immature I was acting. But he chuckled.

"Her thoughts were relatively normal for a human." Edward was very vague.

"Tell me more than that!" I exclaimed.

"Wow, you're a little demanding today." Edward kissed the tip of my nose.

I sighed, "I know." I really couldn't tell you why I was so hyper, for lack of a better word.

"It's cute." Edward assured me. I raised an eyebrow, at his word choice. "It's sexy." He changed his wording.

I laughed out loud. "Stop trying to distract me. What was Coco thinking?" I really was getting nosy here.

"What do you want to know about her thoughts?" Edward finally caved.

"What did she think of you and Alice?" I asked.

"She likes me." Edward flashed me a crooked smile. "But that's because she thinks I'm hot and I make you happy."

"You are hot," I said, slightly blushing.

Edward chuckled but continued. "She has mixed feeling about Alice. Mainly because she isn't used to having competition for being your best friend." Edward explained.

"There were times yesterday when I would look up and you would have a really strange expression on your face." I hinted.

Edward sighed, giving me what I wanted. "When you said you planned on staying with me forever, she thought 'Wow, I really thought Princess was going to stay with Nate forever. I thought they would get back together, now that he's in Forks and everything.'" Edward explained.

"I'm sorry," I apologized for my best friend.

He laughed, running his hand through my hair. "It's okay, sweetheart. Nothing to apologize for."

I was silent for a minute, then something occurred to me. "Princess?" I asked

"What?" He looked at me, confused.

"Francia calls me Princess inside her head?" I smiled at how bizarre it sounded.

Edward chuckled. "I found that funny too." He smiled. "She rarely refers to you as Bella. In fact, if I didn't know about your nickname, I wouldn't know who she was talking about."

I laughed at that. "Anything else?" I pressed

He fought back a laugh, unsuccessfully for the most part. "She did have a thought or two about your hair." Edward looked down at me, while I blushed. I realized what he meant. My hair used to be blue, green, pink, red, purple, and yellow, in that order. I redyed it blue, once, pink twice, and red once. I was pink when I met Nate.

"Oh my god. I was hoping that wouldn't come up," I was embarrassed.

He chuckled. "It was cute."

"At the time, maybe!" I exclaimed.

"How many colors did you dye your hair?" Edward asked.

"About six colors, ten different times, and I just dyed the tips of it, okay?" I was fighting laughter now.

"Okay." He let that particular conversation die.

"Any more?" I was getting really interested in what he found in Francia's head and I really wanted to change the subject.

"She thought about your bad habits, briefly." I didn't understand what that meant. What bad habits. Edward was grinning at me, so he must have found them funny.

"What habits?" I asked, guarded.

"She said you used to bite your nails, blink a lot and she thought something like 'Hmm, looks like Princess grew out of squeezing her boobs in serious conversations.'" Edward smiled crookedly.

My face became red as a tomato. "I'm going to kill her." I said, blankly, knowing I couldn't. What would I say? I'm going to murder you for your thoughts? Might be just a tad awkward.

Edward chuckled. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, baby."

"Well then why are you laughing?" I asked, pointedly.

"Because it's adorable." Edward's grin hadn't faltered.

"Okay, shut up already." I laughed nervously. "What else did Francia think?" I was absolutely desperate to change the subject.

"At one point, on the way to the airport she thought 'God! Princess is so funny, falling all over her little boyfriend'." Edward obviously found it funny, that Coco referred to him as my little boyfriend. "She also envies our relationship." Edward added and shot me his crooked smile again.

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, apparently this Ricky person and her don't have the most functioning relationship and you've only had two relationships in your life, and both of them have worked out pretty well." Edward explained.

"Oh." I said, blankly. Francia's words from last night rang in my head, _You have two guys that love you_. I felt bad for her.

"I read in her mind that Ricky and her aren't very steady." Edward now wanted me to explain.

"Francia and Ricky have a really odd relationship." I summarized. "They have sex for a couple weeks then she pushes for some sort of commitment and he shoves her away, then two weeks later it starts all over again."

Edward nodded, still curious. "So I trust that wasn't like yours and Nate's relationship." Edward asked, obviously this was the question he wanted answer.

I chuckled darkly. "No." I paused before continuing. I knew it probably wasn't a good idea to talk about my past relationship with my current boyfriend but he asked. He wants to know.

"So what was yours and Nate's relationship like?" Edward asked when I didn't continue, "Your friend's mind didn't give me much to work with."

"You were going through Francia's mind, trying to find more information on me and Nate?" I asked, bewildered.

He nodded, sheepishly. I rolled my eyes. "Can you at least talk to me about some of it. Tell me something...Summarize a little bit?" He all but begged. I kind of felt guilty for making Edward beg.

I thought for a moment. How do you describe a relationship like mine and Nate's? "We had a crazy and volatile relationship. Nate and I fought hard and we loved hard. I guess some people would say we were both emotionally and sometimes verbally abusive. I didn't really think that in particular but whatever." I looked at Edward, finding the words to continue. "Okay, so I need you to understand something, Edward." I said before I continued.

"Yes, love?" His voice sounded confused.

"I was in a very bad place in my life, when I started dating Nate. There was a lot of drama going on at home and I didn't feel very good about myself. I thought that negative attention was better than none at all. I mean, I was angry, I was needy, I was insecure. I didn't know how to be healthy when I met Nate." I looked up at Edward. His eyebrows were pushed together. I sighed. "Edward, Nate didn't know anymore or better than me, how to be in a functional relationship." I laughed lightly. "We would push each other's buttons until one of us exploded and then it was on. We were yelling, screaming, throwing things at each other, calling each other names….. And I gave as good as I got. I hit every nerve or insecurity he had. I mean, I would provoke just to get a reaction. It was practically a sickness. I would use his father's drinking, his mother's carelessness, and his brother's weirdness. I used anything I could think of. And he used my daddy issues, my mother and her boyfriends, my fears of being abandoned." I explained.

"Yeah, Alice saw yours and Francia's conversation." Edward smiled. I glared; he wasn't supposed to eavesdrop on me. "Sorry, love. We were curious."

"That's no excuse." I grumbled.

"Don't be mad at me," He tried to dazzle me, so I turned my head away from his. He wasn't having that. Edward leaned down to my face level and planted kisses on my cheek. "I love you, I love you, I love you," He said over and over again in between every few kisses.

"I love you too," I murmured. I looked straight ahead and noticed he wasn't paying attention to the road, again. "Edward, keep your eyes on the road!" I yelled. Edward turned back to the steering wheel.

"Bella, why do you have such a fear of my driving today?" Edward asked, curious.

"I always am afraid of you driving." I pointed out.

"More so today, though." Edward argued.

I sighed. "Because lately...it seems like I'm relieving my past, and well, a car accident is what killed my kid, so I am a little more cautious than usual." I opened up. Edward nodded, slowing down to an actual reasonable speed-one I agreed with. I was shocked. I looked at him, my mouth hanging open like an idiot.

"I don't want to scare you." Edward answered my unasked question.

A smile crept up on my face. "Thanks," I whispered. I snuggled under his arm the rest of the ride home, which took longer than the ride down there because Edward was driving at a slower speed. I must of fell asleep, which is really no surprise, considering I stayed up all night talking and gossiping with Francia. The next thing I know, Edward is running his hand through my hair and kissing my forehead repeatedly.

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty." Edward kissed my ear lobe, then traveled down my neck. I grumbled, incorhent. Edward's smile disappeared. He sighed, "I have to leave, Charlie's home."

Now I understood why his smile left. Mine was replaced with a frown. "Why can't you come in?" I asked.

"Your father wants to talk to you alone." Edward stated blankly. He kissed my head, then slipped out of the car, lifting me out too. "I'll be upstairs." He whispered, leaving me alone abruptly.

I walked up and opened the front door cautiously. Charlie was waiting in the entryway. "Hello?" I sounded annoyed.

"Where the hell were you?" Charlie demanded.

"Taking Francia to the airport." I said in monotone, as I took my shoes and coat off. I was still wearing the slutty outfit from yesterday.

"Why are you dressed like that?" His voice sounded annoying.

"Because I can." There was no emotion in my voice one so ever.

"I will not be bailing you out if you get arrested for prostitution." Charlie's voice was serious.

"Do you really think that little of your daughter?" I turned my head, making sure he couldn't see how much that hurt.

Charlie sighed. "I don't know what to think of you at this point." He mumbled, probably not expecting me to hear him. I nodded, not responding. "Why did you just take off this morning?" He asked, suddenly.

"What?" My face showed I was confused.

"I wake up and you're missing, for all I know you have taken off like that time you did a few months ago." Charlie stated. I rolled my eyes, pissed. I walked up to him, and shoved the note, taped to the refrigerator, in his face. "Oh," Is all he said. I rolled my eyes and went turned to go to my room, when he grabbed my elbow. "Isabella, we need to talk," Charlie's voice was stern.

"What?" I said, like a brat.

"Don't use that tone with me." He warned. He paused for a second. "I don't want you to have all your little clique over here all the time." He stated.

"Won't happen again." I said angry and impatient to get past him.

"If you keep this up, you'll be re-grounded." Charlie meant business.

"For what?" I demanded.

Charlie looked at me skeptical. "The way you talk to me, the way you dress, the way you lie..." He listed off.

"First of all, I will talk to you the way you talk to me, second, I can dress however I want and third, I didn't lie except for about Novalee." I shot back. I was getting more worked up by the minute.

"Check your attitude, little girl!" Charlie yelled.

"Make me!" I screeched back

Charlie's eye bulged out of his head. "You live in my house, you'll follow my rules." He said, in a more quiet voice that told me he wasn't messing around.

"Then I'll move out." I said, blankly and serious. A vein popped out of Charlie's head.

"Where you gonna go?" Charlie asked when he compsed himself.

"The Cullens'" I said as if he should have already guessed.

"You think Carlisle and Esme would allow it?" Charlie looked as if he couldn't believe me. "The second they see you're dressed like that, they'll forbid Edward from ever seeing you again." He sounded sure of himself. I really hoped he was wrong, but for some reason, I couldn't convince myself. "Where else are you gonna go? Nate's?" He laughed. "Or you can stay with his drug addict brother." He threw in my face.

I gasped, shocked, he would go there. Even mentioning Ryann was a low blow. I shut my eyes and counted to ten. I didn't want to lose it and start bawling. "Bella," Charlie's voice was softer, as he pried one of my hands that I didn't know had moved up to my face. "You okay," He sounded worried now.

I wasn't having it. I wasn't going to have him, one second yelling at me and the next, him trying to console me. It just didn't work like that. "Do. Not. Touch. Me." I said each word through clenched teeth, without looking up.

"Bella-" He started but I cut him off, my face flying up, out of my hands.

"Stay the hell away from me!" I yelled, turning for the stairs.

"Isabella Marie Swan, get the hell back here! We aren't done!" He ripped on my arm.

"Let me go!" I shrieked.

"Stop acting like a brat!" He yelled tightening his grip on me. I slapped his arm, hard, causing it to immediately fall.

"I hate you!" I yelled as I raced up the stairs and down the short hallway. I hit the closed door on accident because I wasn't paying attention. I landed on the ground with a soft thud. I clenched my teeth together, to make myself not cry. I opened the door and slammed it as soon as I was in the room. I locked it with shaking hands. I shut my eyes and tried to calm myself.

"Bella," Edward was in front of me, suddenly. I could sense it even with my closed eyes. "Are you hurt, love?" He asked.

I shook my head, knowing he meant physically. "I'm fine." It came out as a whimper. Edward, obviously, knew that I wasn't. He enveloped me into his arms, burying my head in his shoulder. I broke down and started bawling. Edward, who didn't anticipate the force of my reaction, pushed me back, holding my shoulders.

"Why are you crying, sweetheart?" He asked me, sweetly. I couldn't make out a rational response, just loud sobs that shook my whole body. He pulled me over to the bed, sitting down next to me, wiping my tears with frantic fingers. "Shh, calm down, love. Charlie didn't mean to upset you. He feels guilty for saying half those things now." He said the words but he didn't even sound convinced.

My body shook as I tilted over, burying my face in Edward's lap. His hand stroked my hair, gently. "I..I..I just want him to love me." I sobbed.

"Oh, baby." Edward cooed. "He does love you." His voice was kinder, gentler. I shook my head in disbelief, though. There was no way that was possible. Edward leaned down and kissed the back of my head, while I soaked his jeans with my unslowed filter of water works.

He rubbed my back, soothingly, for quite awhile. After some time, my tears finally slowed, but I was still disoriented. Edward sensed this as he guided my head up. He kissed me full on the lips for a few seconds longer than usual, trying to cheer me up. I still didn't feel up to moving but Edward seemed intent on taking my mind off Charlie.

"Hey, love, didn't Francia re-pierce your belly button?" Edward asked. I nodded, barely, but he saw it. "I want to alcohol it, okay? Just a precaution, to make sure it doesn't get infected." I nodded, not wanting to speak.

I wondered how he was going alcohol it, with my skintight tube top on. Before I could even consider opening my mouth and asking, he was standing me up and guiding me over to my closet. Edward pulled out little red shorts and a white _Hollister _tank top, I'm sure Alice bought for me. Edward seemed to notice I was dazed. I was really upset-it even surprised me how sad I was-over my fight with Charlie.

Edward seemed to appraise me for a few more seconds before his hands touched my waist. His eye searched mine, which were probably blank. His fingers pulled on the strings of my black mini skirt and untied it. He slid them down and pulled them off of me and helped me step out of my fishnets. Edward guided my legs into the red shorts in his hands, then his hands moved to them hem of my corset, without hesitation, untying it quickly and pulling it off my upper half. He didn't make eye contact as he pulled the white tank top from _Hollister _over my head.

His cupped my face in his hands. "What's going on in that secretive mind of yours?" He asked, pressing his lips to my forehead.

I sighed, as he guided me over to the bed. He pulled a bottle out of nowhere. "My fight with Charlie bothered me more than I thought it would," I admitted. "I wish I could shut off my emotions. You know, just become unfeeling." I expressed.

Edward shook his head, looking at me. "I never want you to become unfeeling, Bella." He whispered. "You are entitled to feel however you want to feel about your father. You can be angry with him, no one would judge you for that." He assured. I nodded. His hand pressed against my cheek. "I wish you didn't look so sad, baby." Edward whispered.

"I just wish that it didn't take my child dying for Charlie to finally notice me." I whispered. Edward wiped away stray tears, I wasn't aware had fallen.

Edward sighed. "Charlie is an ass, Bella." He stated simply.

I _almost_ laughed. "I know, but..." I said, but didn't finish.

"But he's your father. So you want his affection, regardless." Edward guessed. I nodded.

"How'd you know?" I asked, quietly.

"I know you pretty well." Edward shrugged. "I understand that you love Charlie, no matter how much you wish you didn't. And he does love you." Edward attempted to convince me.

"No, Edward, honey, he really doesn't." I said simply. Edward looked at me with soft, gentle eyes but I saw a hard edge-probably directed at Charlie-brewing under.

He leaned down and kissed my last tears away. "You are way too pretty to be sad." Edward said as he kissed right next to my ear. I gave him a small smile.

"I love you." I mouthed.

"Love you too." He said back.

I changed the subject. "Where did you get that?" I asked, pointing to the bottle he seemed to forgotten about, in his hand.

He flashed me his crooked smile. "Alice. She saw that I would need this."

"It looks like the stuff you get from _Claire's_." I noted.

"It's similar." Edward quipped, quickly. A little too quickly to me.

"You spent a lot of money on it, didn't you?" I raised an eyebrow, feeling a little better.

"Well, I couldn't clean you belly button piercing with a knock off, could I?" Edward gasped in mock horror, probably trying to make me laugh. I did.

"Heaven forbid, you use cheap rubbing alcohol like substances on my belly button piercing that I got by some random stoner, to look cool when I was fourteen." I said, sarcastically.

Edward laughed. He popped the top of the bottle, and dabbed it with a cotton ball. He reached down and pulled the hem of my shirt up to my bra line. That reminded me how I got in this little outfit in the first place. I blushed. "Why are you blushing, love?" Edward asked, before he even touched the cotton ball to my belly button.

I sighed, not bothering to hide anything from him right now. "I just realized you dressed me..."I said quietly, my blush growing a deep red. Edward chuckled.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Bella. I didn't peak."

I rolled my eyes. Of course he didn't. "Then why am I in the shortest shorts you could find?" I asked, coolly.

He paused, looking over at the floor by my closet, where my disposed clothing from yesterday laid. "Your skirt is shorter." Edward said, cocky. Teasing me...

"Is not." I shot back.

"It is when you bend over in it." Edward teased. I gasped. Since when did my sweet, little, 108 year old virgin vampire get so perverted? I swung my foot, aiming for his chest. He laughed out loud, catching my foot before it reached his rock hard chest. "Okay, okay, Bella. I really need to make sure your piercing doesn't become infected." Edward said to me, still grinning from ear to ear.

He re-dabbed the cotton ball and pressed it to my belly button, soaking it in the stinging, cleaning substance. He grabbed a hold of the belly ring and twisted it, gently as possible. I still winced. He sent me a sympathetic look.

"So, baby," He started, trying to get my mind off of the twisting motion and stinging. I knew this because he called me his distracting nickname, baby. "Can I ask a question?"

"Shoot." I answered, almost automatically. What would he want to know?

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to," Edward said, not looking up from my flat belly. I waited for him to continue. "How do you feel about Renee? I mean, I'm aware that you are somewhat bitter towards her but what are your real feelings on your mother?" He asked,

I paused, collecting my thoughts. "Renee isn't always around. She used to always be with her flavor of the month," I used my old nicknames for her boyfriends. "She would come home, at like three in the morning, if she even came home at all, drunk or hungover with a random guy, who I had never seen before. She would hang all over them, and leave me home alone. She would forget to pick me up from school or give me lunch money. She would miss parent/teacher conferences and more than once I got into her alcohol, unaware of what it was." I explained.

Edward looked me in the eyes, bewildered. "Why didn't anyone ever send a social worker in there for inspection?"

I chuckled darkly. "Phoenix isn't known for a great child services program." I stated, simply. "Ricky's parent were a lot worse than Renee and nobody ever sent them a social worker to inspect either. In fact, a lot of homes needed a check up. But nobody ever cared enough about any of our home lives. That doesn't mean they didn't send us to the counseling office a lot. But we all were pretty good at lying." I wasn't just referring to my friends but a lot of different kids I knew and even more I didn't know.

"That's sad." Edward said, stroking my cheek as he sat down next to me.

"Not really." I tried to convince myself just as much as him. "I learned a lot of survival skills from being raised, single handedly for the most part, by Renee." I smiled, faintly. "Like that a five year old can stay up for thirty six hours without crashing. Or to always have a garbage can by the door for your mother to puke in. Or that if you're tired at school, if the nurse likes you, she'll let you sleep in her office and she'll feed you her food too. Or that if you cry or smile sweetly to kids, like four or fives years older than you, they'll sometimes give you their food. I know I can run to my old condo from any of the schools, which were all right next to each other, by the way, in fifteen minutes. And one time I almost got jumped when I was twelve, but then I gave then drugs I had stolen from Renee's current boyfriend that morning and they left me alone." Edward's eyes widened. "I know how long it takes for an ambulance to get to my condo. Seven minutes and twenty three seconds." I recited. Edward opened his mouth in disbelief.

"How'd you know that?" He whispered/asked.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked, blinking.

He nodded, "Of course."

"I used to come home when I was little and find my mom passed out on the floor. It started when I was seven. I didn't know until I was nine what a drug overdose was." I admitted, something that embarrassed me about my mother. I didn't know she popped pills either, until I had to call ambulances for her. "I've had to do it six times in my life." I stated. I felt Edward move my head from the middle of my bed to the crook of his neck. "Not that anyone ever found out, though." I mumbled, barely coherent to anyone besides me and Edward.

"What did you tell the doctor in the hospital? How did they not know what was going on if Renee was always there." Edward asked.

I laughed, without humor. "The hospital there, they aren't like the hospital here. The doctors and nurses change regularly and we would go to different hospitals, sometimes, depending on which was less crowded and a couple times they just had us go to the ER. Renee always made up an excuse and once she even blamed it on her boyfriend, Brian." I explained.

"I didn't know your mother did drugs," Edward sounded surprised.

"She overdosed on pain pills and it isn't something I brag about." I buried my face into him. "And as far as I know, she hasn't done them in a while." I added.

"It must have been horrible for you," Edward continued to sound sympathetic. I shrugged against him.

"I survived." I mumbled.

"Why would Renee take pain pills?" Edward pressed.

"I think it had something to do with her boyfriends, sometimes and sometimes it was just to take the edge off." I explained. "She always would grab my hand or have me lay down with her and make me promise, every time she ended up in a hospital bed, that I would never do drugs or take pills or any of the things she did."

"Did any of her boyfriends stay with her in the hospital?" He must be curious.

"Nope, I just skipped school for a few days, and spent all day with her, then my grandpa would pick me up and take me to his and my grandma's house, where grandma would cook dinner and grandpa would let me stay up late and watch cartoons my grandma would never approve of and they let me sleep between them at night and sleep in as long as I wanted. Then grandpa would take me back to the hospital and pick me up lunch at two thirty and then we'd repeat that schedule until Renee would get out of the hospital." I can't believe how much I had told Edward today.

"Wow," Edward exclaimed. "Sounds like your grandparents took care of you."

"They tried, but they couldn't do it all."

"Are they still alive?" Edward asked

"No. I really miss them..."I was getting sad again. Sensing this, Edward started tickling my underarms. I squirmed in his firm grip. "No, you don't!" I giggled. "We just did this a few days ago and I don't want Charlie to be the next to barge in on us." I actually rather liked the idea. Maybe that would give him a good-sized scare. His only child, rolling on the floor with her boyfriend...

Edward stopped and pulled me on top of his chest, kissing my hair and wrapping his arms around my lower and upper back. "Tell me why you hated all of Renee's boyfriends, love."

I didn't have to guess how he knew I hated all her boyfriends. He'd probably sensed it. "Most of them just got her into bad things, _drove _her to bad things, called me squirt or little girl," Edward chuckled at that one. "And then they left and broke her heart, leaving me to pick up the pieces and clean up their mess." I explained, bitterly.

"Most of them?" Edward raised an eyebrow.

I bit my lip, contemplating. "There was one named Matt. She dated him for a month, maybe more or less." I hesitated before going forward. Edward waited for me. "When he spent the night, after Renee tucked me into bed, they'd go into Renee's room, which was a whole story under mine. But I still heard screaming. She was never screaming for help. It was always a...a...a sharp, churning scream. Like a knife being twisted in your gut. It happened all the time. After a while I learned to ignore it. But every once in a while I'd hear wake up shaking, from hearing her scream downstairs. _It's where I learned to scream and shriek so loud. I thought if I screamed and shrieked louder, I'd have a better chance at being heard than Renee_." I whispered the last two sentences.

Edward looked like he would be silently crying, if possible. I was debating whether or not I should have told him any of this. Would this convince him, I was trash and he deserved better? "Now I feel bad for Renee" He mumbled.

"I used to." I stated lightly. Trying not to be so dark and dreary.

"Used to?" Edward asked. I realized I had just slipped up. I sighed, deeply. This is what happens when I let my guard down...

"Renee's next boyfriend was named Chad." I said through clenched teeth involuntary.

"Did he hurt you?" Edward's voice was edgy. He stiffened when I didn't respond.

"He would grab my arm every once in while. My mom dated him once before, when I was a lot younger. I remember not liking him then either. But the second time around, I was fourteen. Chad," I practically spit his name. "got pissed at me and shoved me into a wall, and then threw me down the stairs, head first." I explained.

Edward suddenly sat us up. Hie eyes bulged out of his head and his fist clentched.

"Then Renee told everyone in the emergency room that I had fallen off a swing set." I mentioned Renee's ridiculous story, without missing a beat. Tell me one person who falls off a swing set at fourteen years old?

Edward looked at me after a minute and he had calmed down. "Why did you never tell me this before?" He asked. I shook my head, but he continued. "You have all these built up emotions about your parents that I never suspected before. Why did you never want to tell me?"

I hadn't lied to Edward all day-okay really I hadn't lied to him since I told him everything about my past-but I wasn't going to start bottling myself up now. I could save that for tomorrow. "I hate talking about this stuff, unless I'm really worked up about it. It's like every time I talk about, I relive it." I explained. "It hurts. Like there's a giant weight pressed again my chest and it only gets bigger the more I push down on it."

"How do you think it came to be like that?" Edward asked me. I gave him a funny look, not sure what he was asking. "You weren't born with that kind of hurt, love. What do you think made you feel like there was a huge weight pressed against you and hurting you?" I shrugged, nonchalantly. "Did it come from Renee's carelessness or Charlie's neglection?" Edward asked, throwing out suggestions.

I laughed, without humor once again, "Edward, my whole life has felt like, I'm living in the back of a football stadium. It's a place where nobody really sees me and I have to scream to be heard. And when someone finally takes the time to listen, most of the time they don't really care." I explained.

Edward was giving me a thoughtful expression. "Bella, baby, that's not true." Edward said. He held up a finger before I could interrupt him. "_I_ see you. _I _care." His words made me smile.

"I love you." I said, happily, snuggling closer to him, which wasn't hard considering I was sitting in his lap.

He chuckled and kissed my head, before tucking it under his chin. "I love you too," Edward whispered, above my head.

**AN:Thanks for reading. 16 reviews to update.**


	31. Chapter 30: Plans and Plotting

**AN:Remember to vote on the poll, on my profile page. I need 16 reviews, then I'll update as soon as I notice, okay. Oh and don't be afraid to give me feedback. XOXOXO :)**

I laid, snuggled tightly into Edward's chest, that night. We didn't speak like usual because I was deep in thought. Edward was aware of this but he didn't seem to mind. Edward seemed content to just ran his hand through my hair or rubbing up and down my arm.

I was having a moment...

I was thinking of my whole attitude on life. And how I had changed in my whole life. I went from a sassy, wild, smart, fun, reckless, angry, damaged, popular, homonal, fiesty little girl, to a insecure, shy, polite, angry, hurt, unpopular, smart, lying, mature, inept, broken, young woman. Which one of those sounded better.

I knew which one _should_ sound better. The second one, of course. I _should_ want to be mature and let the things everyone was saying roll of my shoulders. I _should _just roll my eyes, laugh and say 'This is stupid' and let it be. I should tell everyone to just knock it off. That there rumors are stupid and if they had lost a child, the last thing on their minds would be, who the father was. I _should _be thinking of moving on, for Novalee or Edward or Nate's sake if not for my own.

But, of course, the one that sounded more desirable was the first one. Was it because I was more secure when I was younger? Was it because I told people off and got every emotion I felt, out in the open? Was it because it was really who I am? All I remember, prior to getting knocked up, was being happy and being who I was, and anyone who didn't like it could stuff it. Well, I remember a lot more crap happening too but that's a different story. Aside from my home life, and some events that occured, I was different. But I was a better kind of different.

I needed to get back to that. I needed to take a step back and think 'How can I make myself happy again?'.

I glanced up at Edward, who was massaging my arm. He smiled when I look up at him. Would Edward love me, no matter what I acted like? I almost laughed. Edward loved me even though I had another guy's baby and then lied to him about it. He made excuses for me, even though I was no where near good enough for him.

I wanted to be good enough. I wanted to make him be proud to date me. I wanted to look like I belong next to him. But the truth is, it's all in the attitude. If I had more confindence in myself, I would probably take more pride in how I looked. Right now, the only person who cared about how I looked was Alice. And that was mainly because I was her little barbie doll.

But I used to take pride in how I looked. I know that sounds very vain, but I did. I had flaws in my looks and personality before but as Summer put it, one time when we were hanging out at her house after Novalee died, I was a beautiful disaster.

I had to get back to my old self. A self that made me happy again.

I made a list for myself. A list of things that were wrong in my life. With each listed item, my mind immideately came up with another answer.

I was the school gossip. _Let them gossip. Better yet, show them how to gossip._

Charlie is furious at me for lying. _That's his fault. If he had been there for me, he wouldn't have a reason to be mad now. All that's on him._

Renee doesn't have the first clue on how to be a mother. _She never did._

My baby's dead. _Novalee would want me to be happy. And this isn't it._

Nate's in town and that complicates things. _I love Nate. And if anything, he'll defend me to those snotty bitches_.

Edward doesn't know the Phoenix, wild-child, side of me._ If he loves me, it's unconditional. It won't change, no matter what I do and vise versa._

I don't have the slightest clue how to dress or act the way I used to. _That will change. It's always been a natural thing for me. Just don't overthink it._

I was genuinely happy when I was younger, at least in my self confindence department. I don't know how I managed that but I think it was because I wasn't so serious. I acted first, thought later. I didn't dwell on my mistakes. I did what made me happy, and rarely considered anyone else. I looked out for number one. I wanted to be that girl again. The girl that I never dreamed I could be, but I realize now, I was.

The only time I was ever genuinely happy anymore was when I was with Edward. Edward made me happy. I'd die if I lost him. But maybe if I started to resort back to my old ways, he'd easily accept it. I know, wishful thinking, but maybe if I was positive, it would be more likely to happen. I couldn't lose him but I couldn't go on like I was.

Maybe I was already starting to get back to my old ways.

Like Coco said, 'Slow motion train wreck that has become your life'. I had to make changes. I had to make fixes. I had to do something drastic. Something that would be nessasary to piss everyone in school off.

It faintly registerd in the back of my mind that Forks High School didn't have a strict dress code. As long as you covered your important parts, mostly, you couldn't be convicted for it. The weather was a different issure but I could wear some stuff with jeans, if it was too cold. And I'm sure Alice had plenty of clothes waiting for me. But I knew that if I actually was going to do this, I had to pick out my own clothes. No more Barbie Bella or make overs. And I couldn't budge on this or this whole idea was a total waste of time.

Of course in this little plan of mine, I wasn't taking crap from anyone ever again. Anyone made a comment and I'd fight right back. As my aunt Pam always said 'You can't make someone love you, but you can make them fear you.'

I made a new list. One of everything that could go wrong with my little plan to take Forks for a wild ride.

Everyone at school may hate me. _Everyone already hates me._

Charlie might kick me out. _He's already half way there, at this point. _

Renee might forget about me on purpose. _Is she around to judge? No._

Nate might call me a skank. _He didn't a year and a half ago. In fact he liked it..._

Edward might disaprove. _Not if he saw it was good for me and made me happy._

Novalee might be dissapointed in her mother. _If anything, she's dissapointed in her mother right now. _

How is this going to help me? _How is this going to hurt me?_

What can I gain from this? _What do I have to lose?_

I was aware of what felt like my mind set change. My whole perspective changed. In one second, I was planning out how to show everyone at school. I had to stop thinking, when someone made a rude comment. I had to be witty and sarcastic without making it look like I was trying too hard. I had to be coy and secretive.

I chuckled, inwardly. That would drive Edward mad. I was barely noticeable to the fact that Edward's arm was tightening around me as he was rubbing my back now. I cuddled closer to his ice cold body. I knew I would always have Edward's support, and Alice's support and the rest of the Cullens' support. I also knew one other family who would stand by me. One that I hadn't even bothered to see yet.

The Carter's.

Okay, so it was a little bit of an exaderation. I had the Carter Siblings' support. Kayla Carter was a sweetheat but she's probably going to gossip about me as actively as other. Except, I doubt she'd actively gossip about her granddaughter. And Tom Carter was mainly drunk ass, but he wouldn't be spreading rumors about me either.

You always know it's a sad day when you'd rather have Tom Carter for a father than your own.

I made a reminder in my head to stop in on Nate's family. I missed them, Summer exspecially. If I needed someone to talk to I knew Summer was there. Well, actually, I knew Edward, and any of the Cullens' and Nate and Angela and a selct few humans would be there for me too, but that was besides the point. I knew Charlie would probably shun me forever if I did go full Phoenix on this town. But that's what this town needed. A good shake from a city girl, who had a wild side.

Okay, wow, I really am getting corny...

It shouldn't bug me that Charlie didn't care about me. Or that Renee had almost completely forgotten about me. It shouldn't bug me. It really really had no reason to. Yet, it still did.

It's not the first time in my life, that I've had to live with the fact that my father had rejected me. But it was the first time I actually had to live with my father, in general.

I had to get my life back.

If I knew how to get it back, why wouldn't I do anything-pay any price-to get it back.

And this is how...

I sighed, thinking how my life could have been different. A completely different senerio. One where Novalee never died and I never moved to Forks and my life never changed. Now, not only did I know this was immpossible but I knew I would never have met Edward in this senerio. And I couldn't live without him. But that still didn't change anything...

I knew that my plan was a fast motion car wreck-a senerio that had personal meaning to me-waiting to happen. But my life was like a time bomb. It was just waiting to go off, blow everything around it to pieces and then sit there while others scrambled to clean it up.

If I had the chance to change anything I would. I would give up everything I've ever had. I would give back everything I've expirenced. Forget everyone I've ever known. I would give it all back...If I could have my baby back.

But I couldn't do that. I couldn't have my child back. I couldn't fix my past.

But this was close second best.

**AN: 16 reviews pretty please with sugar on top. And yes, I'm aware this is a major filler, the next chapter is going to be really long though, so I'll be getting to the point soon.**


	32. Chapter 31: Plan in Motion

**AN: I'm updating at fast as I can. I'll be starting high school soon so I might only be able to update on weekends and stuff. Currently, I'm mainly writing at night and when my family isn't home, so that may just stay the same. Anyway, I need 20 review, pretty please, and I'll update. I'm asking for more because this chapter is like 25 pages in a word document. The next will be up as soon as I can get it up. Please vote on my prfile poll. BTW, warning Bella and Edward are a little OOC**

I woke up in the morning around six. Edward kissed my forehead, briefly, before jumping out my window. I got up immediately, as soon as he was gone. I had my work cut out for me today. I grabbed another bin from under my bed and pulled the lid open, yanking out my cosmetics bags that I had almost forgotten about. It had been so long since I had used them.

The last time I wore make up was Novalee's funeral. And even then, Nate's sisters, Summer, Julianna and Claire, had put it on me. And then I cried it off during the service. Not that anyone could have blamed me.

I ran into the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and jumped in the shower. I hurried up my shower, but I still made sure to use my _Big Sexy Hair, Voluming Conditioner_ and wrapped myself in a towel when I was done. The first thing I did was pull out my old pink blow dryer and my bright red bottle of hair detangle from the _Big Sexy Hair_ brand. The hair dryer was really something Tommy's older sister gave me. I blow-dried my hair, until it was almost dry, but not so dry that I made it look frizzy. Then I brushed my hair, so that it was soft and silky.

There was a loud bang on the door. "Bella?" Charlie's voice rang through the door, annoyance clear in his voice.

"Yeah?" I yelled back as I put the brush down.

"What are you doing up this early?" Charlie asked

"I couldn't sleep." I said blankly and obviously wanting him to go away. Why was it any of his business?

"That's a lie." Charlie called; I could tell he was rolling his eyes.

"No, it's not." I said, truthfully, as I parted my hair, debating on what to do with it. It really wasn't a lie, though. After my little epiphany last night, I wanted to put my little plan in motion.

"Whatever." Charlie gave up, apparently. Like he did with his parenting. "I'm going to the station. I probably won't be back until you're asleep." Charlie warned. "So don't wait up."

_Like I would_, I thought. I wiped my hand across the foggy mirror, clearing it. I heard Charlie's footsteps go down the stairs and the front door open and close.

I looked at my reflection. My hair had pretty texture right now, but it need a hairstyle. _I would get to that later,_ I figured. I need to do my make up and outfit.

I was surprised Alice hadn't already come over here and ordered me to wear a certain outfit of her choice. I'm pretty sure she had a vision of this. I wondered how she was going to react to this.

I walked into my room and dug through a plastic bin, looking for an outfit. I pulled out a dark pink tank top from Hollister, that's two straps connected in the back and the boob line plunged, majorly, in the front, so that it gave so much cleavage that you could practically see my whole chest. It was the perfect shirt.

I chuckled darkly as I remembered how I dared Francia to steal it for me. Her and me would dare each other to shop lift junk from stores. It's not like our parents really noticed what we brought home. Well, okay, maybe her dad would, but he bought the excuse that she had money stashed somewhere. But Francia and me used to play games like that all the time. We would also tease Gwen about how she was such a goodie goodie that she actually got into the games too. I had her shop lift a lot of stuff for me too. I'm pretty sure I had all the stuff stashed in the packing bins, that I kept, neatly stacked, under my bed. Every piece of clothing probably had a story behind it.

I yanked out a black push up bra, with invisible straps and a matching lacey thong. Yes, I wore thongs too. Oh, God, I thought to myself. This is going to be interesting. I pulled the clothes on, along with a really short jean skirt. I was now, exceptionally glad I had kept Francia's fake tan. My legs were still tan enough not to look bad in a skirt and they were also freshly shaved. I would have to reapply soon. I'm sure Alice would tell me when, though. I giggled as I thought of what Jessica and Lauren would say to me. When they did, I'd be ready today. No more push over Bella. For the first time in over a year, I could take care of myself.

I wandered back into the bathroom, where my make up bags were still lying on the floor. I picked up one and opened it up. I looked at the clock, which read seven o' clock. School didn't start until eight thirty-five and I didn't usually get there until eight fifteen. Edward would probably pick me up at eight o' clock, on the dot. That gave me an hour to do my make up. I decided to skip breakfast. Who needs it anyway.

I squirted foundation in my hand from the bottle. I rubbed it into my face, until there was none left. Then I repeated this motion over and over again, until you couldn't see any blemish ever existing on my face. Then I pulled out my face powder and put it all over my face until it looked flawless. I made sure to apply the powder and foundation to my neck and the revealed part of my chest-which was most of it, actually. I didn't want to look unnatural.

I put some blush on my cheeks too, but I only put a very light amount. Who knows what's going down today and I don't want to be incredibly red if I get angry or embarrassed.

I shook the thought away quickly. I couldn't think about bad outcomes right now. _You have nothing to lose, Princess, _I told myself. I realized too late that I had referred to myself as Princess, instead of Bella. I tried to shake it off.

When I got to my eyes I applied a smoky brown glittery expensive eye shadow that one of Renee's boyfriend's had bought me. I didn't even remember which one. When I was finished with the eye shadow, I put on black eyeliner, very subtlety. I didn't want to over power it and look cheap.

I plugged in my bright blue curly iron.

After it was warming up, I looked at my reflection and was shocked by what I saw.

I looked good. Really good. My make up was only missing one thing. I reached and picked up the expensive looking mascara and applied it gently. It made my eyes popped, I realized when I was done.

Wow, don't I sound vain?

The next thing I worked on was my hair. It was completely dry now, which is how I do it. I couldn't deal with wet hair, don't ask me why. Nate used to make fun for how I used to sit around with a towel, and blow dryer and brush all in my hand, waiting for my hair to dry so I could do it.

I sprayed the hair pump mist into my hair, effectively making it volumized and big, just like the brand. The brand had the lame name of Big Sexy Hair, but it worked like hella good.

Did I just think the word hella?

I was surprising myself, with how quickly I had slipped back into old habits. Of course, I knew things couldn't be the same as before exactly...But there's no good reason why I could live life to the fullest again.

I picked up my now warm curling iron and wrapped a piece of my hair in it. Piece by piece, I held and curled my whole head of hair into loose ringlets.

I used the amazing brush I had completely forgotten about, to pull my hair into an halfway updo look, that was messy and still cute. I grabbed the hairspray that matched the volumizing hair pump and conditioner. I soaked my curls in hairspray, molding them into place. I shoved a few bobby pins just to make sure it would stay in place. I knew it would. This is an old hairstyle I used to wear constantly in Phoenix. I taught a lot of my friends who to do it or I did it for them. I was so good at it, I could do it with my eyes shut.

When I was done with my hair, I gasped. It looked so fricken cute! I had completely forgotten how much I loved this hairstyle. It was bumped up top, perfectly, then it flowed in perfectly hair sprayed ringlets down my back and shoulders. I hair sprayed it again and again and again, until I was positive it wouldn't move an inch, even in the wind of Forks. Then I used my Shimmer Airbrush Illiminizer. I really had no clue what that meant but it made my hair look shiny and sparkly and pretty.

Don't I sound like a total ditz?

I mulled over my reflection, deciding if there was anything else I need. I remembered to put in my white gold hoops. I dug through my cosmetics bag again and found some of my old cherry blossom perfume. It smelt amazing. I'm sure Edward would go crazy over it. Nate sure did...

I walked back into my room and looked through my clothing bins for anything else I could find to complete my outfit. I finally found what I was looking for. A bright pink purse that matched my tank top. It was a knock off that looked like the original. Inside there was Renee's favorite tube of lip-gloss, that I stole from her. It, ironically enough, matched my outfit too.

I grabbed my iPhone and waited in the living room for Edward to pick me up for school. While I waited I started painting my nails a color matching my purse and top. I got to thinking.

I wondered what he'd say to my new look. I looked good, in my personal opinion, but what would he see. Edward was surrounded by the beauty in the vampire world. I highly doubted that any human make up would do me remote justice to his kind. Would he just stare at me open mouthed and wonder if dating trash like me was a bad idea.

I shook my head, thinking of yesterday. I remember how happy he was to hear me share my past with him. How it made him happy to have me open up to him completely, even though my past was pathetic. He comes from fine wine and dinner parties and money and mansions and I come from bad parents and drug overdoes and cheap alcohol and a crappy condo. What did he see in me that he found desirable? I'm not sure if I wanted to know. What if he decided to leave again, after seeing me and what a slut I truly am?

That's why I was doing this. That is why I was dressing like this. It was all part of my plan. If everyone wants to call me a slut, I'd show them what they were talking about. I'd show them how I was a better person than them, skank and all. And if they gave me any more crap, I'd sock it to them.

A car horn honked. I assumed it was Edward, but he had never honked before. He thought it was rude. I wondered what that was about. "Hold on," I yelled, as I ran back upstairs and grabbed a pair of matching wedges. I prayed to God that I wouldn't trip and fall flat on my face.

I walked slowly, trying to get used to balancing on a higher elevation, when I realized that I walk better in heels and wedges than in normal flats. I stepped outside in the cold, Forks air. Dating Edward had done me some good once again, because the cold barely bothered my bare legs and arms.

I looked up, only to see Edward's jaw dropped and Alice looking at me from the backseat, seemingly proud. Edward's face looked shocked but his eyes looked amazed. Amazed in a good way. Maybe there was hope that he'd still want me after all. I opened the passenger seat and set my bag down on the floor of the car. I was glad I had all my schoolwork in my locker.

Edward hadn't recovered yet but Alice had. "You look amazing, Bella. So kick ass." Alice chimed from the backseat.

Edward finally snapped out of it. "She always does." He muttered but his eyes never left mine.

"Hey," I said, hesitantly as I buckled myself in.

"You are so beautiful." Edward's eye racked my body, making me self-conscious. I tried to repress it, a test for school, knowing what everyone would do and say when we arrived.

"Thanks," I smiled softly.

"Alice, thank you for making me wait." Edward still looking over me.

"What?" I was confused.

"I wouldn't show him my vision of you. I kept telling him he had to see it in person." Alice beamed from the backseat. I smiled back at her. "Who knew Bella had style and could actually take care of herself." Alice teased.

"I do when I feel like it." I laughed with her.

Edward chuckled and leaned in for a kiss. It took all my willpower and then some to refuse. "Lip gloss." I said as if it covered all my problems.

Edward leaned back, and laughed quietly. Alice's laugh was loud and pronounced though. "I just got blown off for a tube of lipstick." He mumbled.

I laughed, feeling slightly guilty. Now I had rejected his lips, I couldn't stop staring at them. "Screw the lip gloss." I backtracked, leaning in. "I can reapply." I muttered, closing the space between me and Edward's face.

His lips and mine danced together for several minutes. "You two _are_ aware I'm still here?" Alice asked, coyly from the backseat. Edward pulled my face away delicately.

"Why are you still here?" I asked, annoyed that she'd interrupted my kissing session. Just when it was getting good too.

"I had to see Edward's face when you came out." Alice flashed me a smile, barring her teeth. I giggled.

I kissed Edward's cheek one last time, before opening my purse and reapplying my lip gloss. Out of the corner of my eye, I swore I saw Edward lick his lips.

"That lip gloss tastes good, Bella." Edward commented, putting the Volvo in reverse, pulling out.

"Thanks," I chuckled.

"Really good." He said quietly. "I'm going to kiss you more than usual today." As he said that, I smeared a lot more of the sticky goop across my very full lips. He laughed, pulling my face to his, licking my bottom lip.

"Great," I said sarcastic, under my breath, "Now I have to apply for the third time." Alice laughed at this.

"God, I love you two." She said, from the backseat.

Edward was at school in no time. He held my hand, his eyes searching mine. "You ready, love?" He asked,

Suddenly I felt nervous. I hadn't thought about this part. Okay, that was a lie. I had _tried _to not think about this little portion on my plan. I figured it would be easier if I didn't think about it. But, trust me, I couldn't myself budge from the seat of the volvo.

Come on, Bella, I told myself. You've done harder. You've gotten out of the car a million times, looking like this. You've called ambulances for your mother and been thrown down the stairs by her boyfriend. You've been hurt and neglected. You've been the object to many different mens' desires. You've broken bones and survived vampire attacks. You've gotten pregnant at fifteen. You've lost the love of your life...You've buried your only child in the ground.

That last one is the reason why I got out of this car.

We were slightly late so there weren't many people in the hall, but the few that were there looked like they'd just seen a famous movie star. I giggled, under Edward's arm.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the black coat from Hollister on Edward's arm.

"A coat for you incase you get cold." Edward said.

"Oh, thanks." I muttered. We were right in front of the door to our first period, English class now.

We walked in and took our seats in the back. No one noticed us, except Lauren and Jessica.

"Oh. My. God." Jessica said, her eyes growing huge.

I smirked at them, bitchy. "You slut," The words came out of Lauren's mouth, with her ice cold glare directed right at me. Oh, please. That's the best she could do? What a loser...

"Look who's talking?" I said, looking her straight in the eye.

"I didn't have a baby." She mocked.

"I'm sorry you couldn't get laid." I said, sarcastic. She paused for a few seconds, trying to think of something to say. I guess she wasn't as sharp as she thought she was.

"Bitch," She glared.

"Skank," I said right back. I looked at Jessica, who was cowering, afriad of what I might say to her. "Oh, now you're backing down?" I asked, my eyes cutting right to her. She looked away, shrugging.

"Homewrecker." Lauren's voice directed itself at me, once again.

"Mother f-ing cun-" Edward's hand covered my mouth before I could continue. He motioned towards Ms. Smitt, who was coming towards us.

"Miss Mallory," Her voice was stern. "I heard you say some things that were not relevant to our book reading. Care to share with the rest of the class?" Smitt asked,

"No ma'am." Lauren's face suddenly looked at mine. I flipped her off. Ms. Smitt didn't seem to notice, but Edward laughed.

"Something funny, Mr. Cullen?" Ms. Smitt had noticed Edward's laughing. It's not like he kept it down.

"Just Lauren's face." I answered for him. Ms. Smitt was going to grill me next, but Edward cut her off.

"Bella means when you were talking to Lauren, her face was surprised and Bella found it funny." Edward covered for me.

"Are you fricken kidding me!" Lauren yelled-not that loud, to me at least-to the class.

"Sit the hell down." I ordered. "No one wants to hear your scratchy little voice."

"I second that." Kalob said from near the front of the room.

"I do too," Said Violet.

Seriously? Now they weren't making fun of me, and all I had to do was stand up for myself and dress like a slut. I could do that everyday...

"Are you guys brain dead!" Lauren exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "Bella Swan is dressed like a slut and she is getting all bitchy and you're taking her side now?" Lauren's face was turning red. Edward and me laughed, so hard at that.

"Lauren, watch what you say. Bella will kick your ass, no problem." Nate's voice entered the room.

"Nate!" Lauren and half the girls in the room exclaimed. I rolled my eyes.

"And_ I_ think Bella looks great." Nate continued to talk.

"I do too." Edward chimed. I laughed, quietly, at them.

"I do too!" Another guy across the room, blurted. Was he serious?

"Me too." Kalob said, winking at me. I smiled at him.

Lauren was at loss for words. I almost laughed, right then and there. Somewhere in the background, I heard Ms. Smitt talking.

"Do you want me to kick him out of the room?" Asked some kid.

"No, let Nate be." She said. "It's kind of interesting..."

Oh, great! So Ms. Smitt has been listening-and most likely, gossiping actively-along with everyone else? That just fricken fantastic. My English teacher talking about my sex life and my dead kid. I better get an A in this class.

"Anyway," Nate said, dramatically, making eye contact with me. "I needed to drop these papers off to Ms. Smitt." He set them on the back table. Nate turned and smiled at me. "Bye, Princess." He slipped out of the room before I had anything to throw at him.

"Bye Naty." I called. I heard him laugh. I turned back to the front of the room. Lauren was glaring at me. "What are you looking at, bitch?" I said to her. It must have scared her because she turned away from me.

Edward laughed again. I reached my hand up to cover his mouth. "Shh." I hushed. "You'll get Ms. Smitt back here." I warned. Edward's eyes were still dazzling.

After that we went to silent reading. But during that time, I heard Edward growl several times. I kicked him in the shin once to get him to tell me what's wrong but I just ended up hurting myself. When class was over, Edward grabbed my hand and dragged me into the hall as fast as he could.

"Edward," I exclaimed, so fricken confused. "What are you doing?"

He shoved me against a locker and kissed me with more passion than anything he's ever initiated before. I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity. I kissed him back, molding and moving my lips with his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I tried to wrap my legs around his waist, but he pulled away at that moment.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed again, breathless. "I was enjoying that." I pouted. He laughed and kissed the pout off my lips.

"Sorry, love. I was just trying to let every teenage guy in this school, who has had inappropriate thoughts about you, know that you're _my _girlfriend." He smiled at me crookedly.

"Why did you have to end it so soon?" I pouted again. He laughed again.

"If I let you wrap your legs around me, everyone would have sawn up your skirt." Edward explained, quiet, so no one else heard. I blushed. Edward chuckled.

"You can thank me, for telling him that." Alice's voice came from behind. I looked over at her. "I had a vision that Edward didn't stop you. Let's just say, I saw what kind of underwear, you're wearing today. Every guy at this school would never leave you alone." She laughed her silvery laugh. I blushed harder.

"Shut up." I said, loud and clear.

"I like your outfit today, though." Alice commented as we walked to my locker.

"Thanks." I said, nonchalantly.

"Where did you get it?" She asked.

"Uh, mostly at Hollister." I wasn't giving it much thought.

"Doesn't look like something you could afford." Alice commented. Edward nudged her in the ribs.

"I didn't buy." I said, blankly. "Most of my stuff, I stole or a friend stole it for me." Alice's mouth was hanging open as was Edward's. "What?" I asked, not seeing why they were freaking.

"You stole stuff?" Alice said as if she couldn't believe me.

"Yep." I dug through my locker, finding my trig book.

"You?" She asked, again.

I sighed, deciding to give her more to chew on. "Yes, I shoplifted. Me and Francia and our other friend Briee would always shoplift things as a game. We never got caught once."

"A game?" Edward looked at me funny.

"We'd dare each other to shoplift things in a certain amount of time **(AN: don't actually try this. It probably won't work.)** and then in the end, we'd see what size it was and whoever's size it fit better, would get to keep it. Briee got the bigger stuff because she had bigger boobs and me and Francia would have to try on the other stuff and see who it looked better on because we are the same size. And then the three of us always teased Millie, Gwen and Allie about being goodie goodies. When we were really young, like the end of elementary school, we would all play the game, but after a while it was just; me, Francia and Briee. Allie acts all bad but she's better than most people. I don't think she had sex before I left." I noted. Edward and Alice were listening eagerly. I felt like a friggin storyteller. "Millie is probably the most bubbly and positive but she came to me, countless times and asked me to steal something for her. Gwen is someone who wants to prove they're bad so she played the game too. Taylor only did it once after we entered the eighth grade." I finished.

"Wow, Emmett will be impressed." Alice said simply. I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned and saw Lauren. "What do you want?" I said, harshly.

"You think you're so great, well punch me." Lauren taunted me. I chuckled briefly. "What? Are you afraid to do it?" I glared at her and rolled my eyes.

"You're trying to get me to punch you, then you can tell the principal to suspend me." I said confidently.

Lauren looked surprised I knew what she was up to. "You are so friggin stupid." I said over my shoulder as I turned to walk away. Lauren's mouth was hanging open. Lauren grabbed my shoulder and punched me.

It didn't even hurt. I laughed out loud at her. She looked murderous. Punching was never my strong suit, like Francia. But slapping was.

I swung my hand back and collided it with her face. Lauren hit the floor, clutching her mouth. "Bitch," She said. That was all it took to set me off. It all but pounced; swinging my fist, punching, kicking, slapping her...I heard footsteps coming down the hall. The next thing I know, Edward and Nate are pulling me off of Lauren. I didn't even know Nate was here. I looked up to see most the junior and senior and some sophomore and freshmen were watching. Everyone scattered into classrooms quickly. I lunged for Lauren one more time, but Nate and Edward held me back.

"She's not worth it, Princess." Nate's voice rang in my ear. Edward and Nate both had tight grips around me as they drug me to trig. They let me go, and snuck into their next classes.

I walked over and took my original seat between Angela and Jessica and behind Mike. Jessica looked up at me, softly. "Hey," She said meekly.

"What?" I said quietly. "You've been a bitch from hell all this time and now you wanna be friends again?" I looked at her incredulously.

She shrugged, "Better than being Lauren's friend." I smiled, smally but still turned away. There was no way I was going to forgive someone who had turned on me so quickly...cough cough Charlie cough cough.

"Hey," Angela said, brightly to me.

"Hey," I squealed back, in a better mood than ever.

"How's life?" Angela asked.

"Pretty good. Now, at least. I just got into a fight with Lauren in the hall." I said, proud of myself.

"Seriously?" Jess exclaimed. I rolled my eyes.

Angela stared at me with her mouth hanging open. "Good for you." Mike fist pounded me, which surprised.

The teacher started the class then, but I hardly paid attention. I started daydreaming about telling everybody that had ever hurt me off. Mr. Vanter briefly looked at my outfit and shrugged, rolling his eyes. He was probably sick of the stupid gossip, I was now feeding into. I really couldn't care less.

When the next bell rang it was time for lunch. We all scrambled to our lockers, where I saw Edward and Alice waiting for me. I ran across the hall, despite the fact that I was wearing heels, and into Edward's arms, where he lifted me off the ground. Alice mumbled something and I felt Edward chuckle.

Edward set me on my feet; I opened my locker, to see the bottom was still filled with condoms. I heard a chuckle, only to see Nate. I jumped, surprised.

"You almost gave me a heart attack!" I exclaimed. Nate laughed along with Alice and Edward. "Shut up, you guys aren't nice." I mumbled. Edward kissed my forehead, chuckling to himself.

Chelsea from my Spanish class walked by, glaring at me. "What are you looking at?" I said, raising an eyebrow. She just glared, so I flipped her off. Edward nudged me. Chelsea continued down the hall.

"Wow, you really know how to change yourself overnight, don't you?" Nate comment while we walked down the hall.

I shrugged, "I forgot how long it takes it get ready in the morning." I complained, randomly. Nate laughed loudly. "It does. Seriously, it took like thirty minutes doing my make up and like an hour doing my hair after I had to blow dry it." Wow, I sound like such a valley girl.

"God, Isabel, do you still take three hours on your hair?" Nate exclaimed.

"Yes," I fake glared.

Alice and Edward looked confused. Nate explained, "She cant do her hair when it's wet so she will, literally, sit by the over with her hair wrapped in a towel and a blow dryer in her hand, on high."

I hit his arm. "Stop making fun of me."

Nate laughed, "I see you're still the same size as before."

"Yep."

We all started walking down to the cafeteria. Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "I feel for you, man." Nate said to Edward, solemnly.

"What?" I said

"Can't be easy to be your boyfriend when every guy at this school wants in your pants." Nate explained to me. Alice gave Nate an odd look.

"So, Nate?" Alice asked.

"Yeah?" He looked at her.

"Do you have siblings?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, three sisters and two brothers." Nate looked uncomfortable when mentioning his siblings. I saw Edward shoot Alice a dirty look. "Claire and Aidenn are starting school here on Monday. They wanted me to try it out first, big babies." Nate rolled his eyes. I laughed, I loved Nate's siblings.

We sat down at an empty table when we reached the cafeteria. Edward was silent for a moment as me and Alice talked to Nate. I looked over at him after a minute. "Something wrong?" I asked, just to him.

Edward's eyes flashed to mine for a split second, then he crushed his lips to mine. I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to show off or to kiss my boyfriend. I braided my fingers in his hair. After a minute Edward pulled back. I glared; he was such a fricken tease.

Edward laughed. "That should show all these immature boys that I'm the only one aloud to do that." Edward mumbled in my ear. I giggled. Nate patted my bare knee.

"Princess, you have a hater." Nate teased. I looked over to where he was pointing. I saw Chelsea glaring at me. I laughed, then I chucked an apple across the room. It hit her square in the nose. Chelsea screamed. I heard laughter erupt all around us.

"Bitch!" She called.

"Cun-" Once again Edward's hand covered my mouth.

"Do you really want to get expelled?" Edward said, half serious. I stuck my tongue out at him. He kissed the end.

"If you two are done, feeling around each other's mouths, you might want to eat." Alice chimed from my other side.

"Go away," I said, leaning on Edward.

"Not a chance." Alice beamed.

"See what I put up with everyday, Nate?" I leaned around Alice to look at him. He laughed. For the duration of lunch, I pretty much sat in between Edward's legs, eating the food he brought to my mouth, laughing with Nate and Alice at some other kids glaring at me or Edward or Nate.

Edward did all the biology work next period. I just sat there, re-applying lip gloss. Every once in a while, Edward would lean over and kiss the lip gloss off. I laughed each time. Mr. Banner wasn't too happy with us by the end. In the last fifteen minutes of class, the intercom voice rang out, "Would Isabella Swan please report to the office building." I sighed, wondering what they needed now. Edward handed me my books and I shoved them into my locker on my way.

When I walked up to the door to the office, I saw Chelsea sitting in a chair with an ice pack to her nose. That's when it all clicked. She was trying to set me up. Chelsea wanted me to get in trouble, as her revenge for embarrassing her in front of everyone. Neither one of them noticed my arrival yet, so I came up with a plan last minute. I turned my back and slipped away quickly, before they could see me. I walked over and snuck behind Tyler's truck. He had gotten a new one since he almost killed me with his last. I casually walked past and purposely hit my cheek on the side window. It stung a little. I looked in the window and noticed it looked a little red. It was the same cheek Lauren had slapped me on this morning. Needless to say, it redden easily. I fixed my hair a little and made the red on my cheek look as realistic as possible then I turned back towards the school and walked into the office.

Ms. Cope acknowledged me first. "Aw, Ms. Swan. What took you so long?"

"I had to stop by my locker," I said, innocent enough.

She nodded. "I received a complaint this afternoon from someone about you." She looked at me, suspiciously.

"Who?" I asked, fake.

Ms. Cope pointed to Chelsea who was sitting in a chair, with an ice pack on her nose. "I think you owe her an apology and you're getting detention for the next week." She looked at her computer, filing this in my name in the computer system.

I sighed, quietly. "She hit me first, though! Isn't she going to get detention?" I exclaimed, theatrically.

"No, I didn't!" Chelsea stood up dropping her ice pack to the ground.

"Don't lie! I know you did!" I yelled.

"Girls!" Ms. Cope yelled. She sighed, "Bella, where did she hit you?" She looked like I was pulling out her teeth.

"Right here." I pouted, like a little girl who just scraped her knee. I pointed to my cheek. Ms. Cope sighed,

"Chelsea, you will be receiving detention too, for the next week." Ms. Cope looked towards her computer again.

Chelsea gasped. She started to say something else, but Ms. Cope cut her off. "Girls, get back to class."

We walked out of the building. "What was that for, bitch?" Chelsea elbowed me.

"Don't mess with me." I said coolly, "You won't like how I react." I smiled fakely and strutted to my next period class.

Edward had dropped my stuff off, but, sadly, he had Technology. I had Government. I walked in and took my seat in the middle row. Alice didn't have this class with me either. I sat next to an empty chair. It was the only empty chair in the class.

The teacher was talking, more like rambling on, when I heard a familiar voice in the back of the room. "Is this Government in room 204?" Nate asked, looking at some piece of paper.

"Yes, it is. Take a seat and pay attention. You're already fifteen minutes late and I have a class to teach." Wow, he wasn't in a good mood today.

"I don't have a binder with me. Or pencils. Or paper..." Nate trailed off. The teacher pretended not to hear him. Nate spotted me and took the seat next to me, which really pissed off a few girls.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, curious.

"Trying to learn, Princess." Nate mocked.

"No, seriously." I pressed.

"I got transferred. They're still figuring out my schedule." I nodded, understanding. "So I heard you got called down to the office." Nate smiled. "Anything good?" He asked.

"Nope. I got this chick, Chelsea, trying to set me up."

"What?"

"Chelsea, that girl I threw an apple at, at lunch." I explained

"Oh! Her!" Nate exclaimed.

"Yeah, so she went to the office and claimed I hurt her, so then i went out and made it look like she hit me first." I said, proudly.

"Damn, Isabel. I'm impressed. Didn't think you still had it in you."

"Trust me, neither did I." We smiled, big. But both our smiles faded when we looked up to see the whole class and teacher staring at us.

"Shit," Nate muttered.

"What did you just say, Carter?" The teacher was pissed.

"Can I help you?" I asked, sweetly.

"Yes, Bella, you can. Stop talking or I'll give you guys detention."

"Wow, you're not in a very good mood today?" I asked, still sounding bright as Alice.

"No. Not when I got two kids in my class, treating it like a joke. Now, I know you already have detention, Bella. Do you want more?" He gave me an ultimatum. Well, I'll give him one right back then.

"I don't have detention, sir." I said, innocently.

"Yes, you do. I heard about your little fight with Chelsea." He pointed out, demanding and annoyed.

I laughed in his face. "We'll see how my dad feels about that." I said, closing the subject. Before he could respond, I spoke again. "I think you should get back to teaching. We only have a little over an hour left, and I want to do well." I said, surgery.

The teacher glared at me then turned his back and walked to the front of the class. As soon as he was turned around I flipped him off and made a face. I figured, what do I have to lose? Nate laughed, somewhat loudly, but thankfully the teacher didn't notice.

"I love you, Bella." Nate said, still laughing.

"I love you too," I replied automatically.

Tyler Crowley turned around and high five me, under the table. I noticed most kids were looking at us, either kindly or amused or fakely. I shrugged; I really didn't care what they thought of me anymore. If they were going to be fake, you know what, in a few years I'll never have to see them ever again. But, at least when I acted the way I had today, they knew they couldn't mess with me.

The rest of class was boring so I stared at the ceiling. I'm pretty sure most kids did, but I wasn't paying attention to anyone but me. When the bell rang, I grabbed my binder and my bag and walked out the door. Nate stayed behind a little but I knew I'd see him next period.

Edward was waiting outside the class with Alice. I ran into his arms, where he lifted me slightly off the ground. When I pulled away, I noticed Alice was holding something. Before I could ask, she answered.

"Notes for your pop quiz tomorrow." Alice explained. "Edward insisted I make them for you. By the way, what are you going to tell Charlie?" Alice raised her eyebrow.

"Huh?" I said, looking away from the perfection of Edward's face.

"You said, in a room full of kids, that you were going to get Charlie to fix the whole detention thing for you." Alice explained, looking at me. Oh, crap, I thought. I didn't let my face slip for too long. I shrugged, nonchalantly.

"I'll tell him something."

"You might want to change first," Alice said, suggesting.

"Why?" I asked,

"Charlie isn't going to be too happy with you if he sees you're dressed like that, and that won't help your cause," Alice explained.

"Thanks for the heads up." I muttered. Edward kissed my head.

"I like the way she looks, dressed like that," Edward smiled, shamelessly.

Alice said something at vampire speed. Edward continued to smile, at whatever she said.

We all walked to our next class, which was together.

I took a seat next to Edward. A few minutes at the bell rang but before the teacher started talking, Nate sat next to me. "Sorry," He said.

"For what?" I asked

"For constantly bugging you. I don't really know anyone else yet."

"You can never bug me, Naty." I assured him. "But you do know Lauren." I volunteered.

"Anyone I actually wanna associate with." Nate corrected. Edward and Alice who were apparently listening to us, laughed.

"So have fun in detention." Nate commented to me.

"I'm not going. Regardless of what Charlie says, I don't care, I won't go." I vented.

"How's that going to work out for you?" Nate asked.

I shrugged. "Didn't matter at PV."

"True." Nate agreed.

For the rest of class, I talked to Edward and Nate while Alice did work, that Edward copied off of, then I copied off Edward then Nate copied off of me. Luckily our teacher didn't care. In fact, she usually doesn't care about anything we do.

Edward drove me home, while Alice was getting picked up by Jasper to go somewhere. I figured it was private so I didn't bother asking. Edward drove to my house. We went straight to my room. Edward plopped down on my bed while I went searching.

I looked up briefly to see Edward going through my purse. "What exactly are you doing," I reached to yank my bag away but Edward pulled it out of my reach.

"Looking through it." He pulled out at least ten bottles of nail polish; back up eyeliner and mascara and at least six tubes of lip-gloss. He gave me a questioning look.

"What? I need to make sure my lips are good." I defended myself. Edward leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine.

"You're lips are good." He smiled, crookedly, taking my breath away.

He pulled out a compact and my iPhone and a hairbrush. "I never understood how women can shove so much into such a little bag..." He shook his head. I'm not sure if I was meant to hear that but whatever.

I went back to digging through my containers of clothes, shoving them around their plastic settings when Edward unzipped the pocket in my purse.

"Do you have a search warrant or are you breaking and entering?" I teased.

Edward pulled out a tampon. He raised an eyebrow, mocking me. "What this for, sweetheart?"

"Shut up," I grumbled, shoving it back into my bag.

"It's a simple question." He said innocently. I went back to digging through my clothes.

"Emergencies, okay." I said, faking annoyance, not looking up.

"It's kind of big for you, isn't it?" Edward teased. My head snapped up at him.

My mouth hung open in an o shape. Then I smiled, really big, fighting a laugh. "Jerk." My laughed escaped a little. I started looking, tossing clothes again.

"It's a simple question." He said again. I rolled my eyes, finally finding what I wanted.

"Hey, Edward, which one looks better for P.E tomorrow?" I asked, smiling, anticipating his reaction. I held up my black shorts with as rhinestone playboy bunny and my super short shorts that have letters that stand for the brand. I looked at him, waiting for his reaction.

Edward's eye bulged out of his head. "Um, love, aren't those a little short?" Edward asked.

I smiled sweetly. "I don't think so."

"Bella, come on." I continued to look at him, expectantly. "I don't want to listen to every guy's thoughts tomorrow if you wear incredibly short shorts." Edward explained.

I shrugged. "Sorry." Was the best I gave him? Edward glared at me for a minute. I chuckled, quietly, walking over to him. I straddled Edward's lap, kissing his face. "I love you, more than anyone else in the whole world." I murmured

"I love you too," He whispered, "That's why I hate it when guys think dirty things about you. I don't think there's a male in school who didn't have some sort of fantasy of you." He chuckled, though it was strained.

"You don't know that Nate did." I pointed out.

Edward looked at me funny, "I saw his face." I had no idea what that meant. "You're too beautiful for your own good." He mumbled against my neck. I rolled my eyes.

I climbed off Edward's lap and walked over to my computer desk. I pulled out of my gold nail polish. "What are you doing, love?" Edward asked, sitting on the edge of my bed, closer to me now.

"Painting my nails." I said, not looking up "Oh crap." I had spilled some off my nail and onto my finger. I wiped it off, easily.

"Here, let me do that." Edward took the nail polish and wiped it across my finger, dipped it into the bottle again and repeated the same action on all ten of my finger. Without asking, he grabbed my left foot, putting it on his thigh and started painting them.

"Where did you get so good at painting nails?" I asked, amazed.

Edward snorted. "It isn't hard when you have perfect vision, love." I laughed, "Don't tell Emmett, though, I'll never live it down." He added, finishing my left foot, starting on my right.

"I might make you do my nails everyday," I commented, admiring them.

Edward laughed, "Anything you need."

"Well, not that you mention it, I need you to tell me what to wear for P.E tomorrow." I said, lightly.

"Pants." Edward said, hopeful.

"Not a chance." I said, brightly.

Edward pouted. I laughed. I thought I was the only one in this relationship that pouted. "Let me see the shorts again." He grumbled.

"You're the best boyfriend ever, ever, ever!" I ran forward, plopping down on his lap, kissing his cheeks. He grinned, in spite of himself. I stood up careful of my feet, not to mess up the nail polish.

I pulled the two pairs of shorts into Edward's view. He looked torn. "Baby, you're really going to wear them?" Edward asked. I nodded, determined. He bit his lip, a trait according to Jasper he picked up from me, and then spoke. Something crossed his face but I couldn't identify it before he masked it. "I'm going to have to see you in them to choose." Edward grinned, crooked. I rolled my eyes. Doesn't matter if guys are ten or a hundred, they all want the same thing. Some just mask it better than others.

Well, fine then, I'll make Edward pay. He wanted to see me in these short, he was really going to see me first.

I pulled off my pants and slipped the first pair on. The ones with the rhinestone bunny in the corner. "Hmm, I think I need to see how they look with the top." I said, coyly, looking at Edward.

I walked over and pulled out the black cardigan. "Bella, this isn't a top." Edward said, looking at it. I shrugged, not able to contain my smile.

"Hold it please."

Before he could respond I pulled my coat and shirt off. I felt Edward's gaze for a second before I decided to do what I did next. I unhooked my bra and let it drop to the floor.

"Can you hand me my top, Edward?" I asked, smiling at his gaze. He didn't hear me apparently. I leaned over and flicked his nose. He snapped out of it. I laughed as I took my top and slipped my arms through the sleeves. The sleeves when to my mid arm and the top buttoned but I didn't use them all. "I really need a mirror, you know that?" I asked.

"Bella, you can't wear that to P.E." Edward chimed in, looking over my body.

"Are you telling me I don't look pretty?" I pretended to be hurt.

"No!" Edward said, immediately.

"Am I fat?" I looked down, grabbing my stomach. I was actually very serious about this, no joke.

"Bella, you're definitely not fat." Edward pried my hands from my stomach, then put his hands on my face.

"Why don't you like me in it then?" I pouted, completely on purpose. Edward sighed.

"I do like you in it, Bella. That's the problem. So will all the other males."

"You're lying. I look bad," I almost made myself cry, just to get a reaction out of Edward.

Edward pulled my down, into his lap. "Sweetheart, will you listen to me. There's nothing wrong with any part of you." He assured me. "No one should look as sexy or beautiful as you do right now." He kissed my forehead.

"Really," I exclaimed. "You think I'm pretty?" I was excited.

Edward looked at me at loss for words for a moment. "Bella, you are the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing, sweet person I have ever met." Edward said. He squinted at me and shook his head, "How do you not see how perfect you are?" He asked.

"Because I'm not perfect. That's you." I mumbled into his neck.

"No, baby, far from it." Edward kissed my temple. He patted me, as a signal to get up. "Charlie's going to be home soon and I doubt he wants to see his daughter half naked." Edward kissed my cheek, before pushing me up.

"Yeah," I agreed. I pulled my shorts off. Edward chuckled but didn't speak so I ignored him. I went to put on my clothes I wore to school when Edward pulled them away.

"Alice said to change before Charlie got home." Edward reminded.

"Oh, right." I dug through the bins, trying to find clothes to wear. I found a white tank top and black skintight booty shorts, similar to the ones I was just wearing. I pulled the shorts on and traded my one shirt for the other. Edward tapped me on the shoulder.

"You might want to put this on." Edward raised an eyebrow, holding my bra on the end of his finger.

"Do you enjoy making fun of your girlfriend when she's dressing?" I asked, pulling my shirt up and slipping the bra through my arms and onto my shoulders. Edward planted a kiss on my bare back, then hooked my bra and pulled my shirt down for me.

"You aren't too modest anymore, are you?" Edward continued to tease me.

"You're making me insecure." I mumbled, blushing. Edward kissed my lips then both my cheeks,

"I love it, Bella." He said, against my face, "I love watching you be happy. And some of those things you did and said were so funny and comical." He continued. "You're so great at everything and then you say I'm perfect."

"You are perfect." I said, quietly. "You make me want to be better too, and this was the only way I knew how to improve." Edward pulled back and looked at me.

"Bella, are you doing this because you think I want you to change?" Edward asked, bewildered. He sat down in the computer chair and pulled me into his lap. "Baby, I love you for you. No matter what. Nothing will ever change that. You can dress however you want, act however you want, do whatever you want. It will never lessen my unconditional love for you."

"You can say that all you want, but whenever I look in the mirror, I feel incompetent to you." I played with the buttons on his shirt. "This, acting and dressing like I did today, makes me feel better." I explained. "It's a relief actually, that you said that. I thought you were going to call me a trashy slut. I was afraid you would." I explained, not meeting his gaze.

"Love, the only trashy sluts in our school are Chelsea, Lauren and a few others." I laughed at his words.

"Did you just say sluts?" I said, fascinated. Like a child with a shiny toy. Edward shook his head, kissing my nose. "Say it again." I exclaimed.

"I hear Charlie coming down the street. You might want to finish getting dressed." Edward suggested. I hopped off his lap, and went back to digging through clothes. I looked around, briefly, at the mess my room was. "I'll clean up for you, when you're talking to Charlie. I think you need to tell him about detention like you said you were going to," Edward suggested.

"Probably." I said, rolling my eyes. I didn't bother to ask if he was listening in during that class period. I already knew he was. I pulled out a gray and white plaid button down shirt. It was Nate's. I wore it once, when I spent the night at his house and got into a water fight with him in his bathroom. I never gave it back because it smelt too good. Like cinnamon and old spice and pumpkin pie and stolen Hollister perfume.

I slipped my arms through it, not buttoning it up. It was still as big on me as it was when I was fourteen.

"Big shirt, love?"

"How's it look?" I asked, using him as my mirror once again.

"Great." He sounded unsure of giving me fashion advice.

I kissed his forehead and skipped into the bathroom. I heard a chuckle. "I heard that." I called to him. I grabbed a brush and brushed all the snarls out of my hair and pulled it into a super high, messy ponytail.

The front door opened and shut. "I'm home." Charlie called.

I was shocked at myself for a moment that I was going to ask Charlie, of all people, for a favor. But I really didn't have any other choice. I took in a deep breath, knowing I was about to act a fifteen year old, whining and lying and shoving everyone around her out of her way. I walked down the stairs and into the dining room where Charlie was reading the newspaper.

"Hey, dad." I said, quietly.

"Hey, Bells." He turned around. "You look pretty." He said, after a moment. Almost like he was trying to make up for something but I wasn't in a forgiving mood right now. I just wanted what I wanted.

"You're back early," I noted.

Charlie merely shrugged. "Not as much work as I thought."

I nodded, deciding to get to my point. "I need to tell you something." I said, hesitant.

"You're not pregnant?" Charlie's eyes popped out of their sockets, just about. I squinted, noting he said pregnant, not pregnant _again_.

"No." I said firmly.

Charlie breathed a sigh of relief. "What do you need to tell me then, honey."

I was surprised. It was almost like we hadn't been at odds for the past few days. "Well, it's a long story. You see, today at school, there's this girl who's a sophomore. Her name's Chelsea." I began.

"Oh, yeah, I've known her dad for years." Charlie interrupted. I glared, intensely. "Sorry?" He looked unsure.

"We don't like each other much, so anyway, she came over and started a fight with me. She slapped me, so I threw an apple at her and hit her square in the nose. She went and tattled on me and got us both detention." I closed my eyes, making myself look convincing as I lied through my teeth. I opened and forced out crocodile tears. "Dad, I was only defending myself." I pouted. Charlie was watching me intensely through out my whole story.

"You want me to talk to the school?" He asked, setting down the paper. I nodded, meekly. "Okay, I'll be back soon, honey." Charlie pulled his coat back on. I was surprised. I didn't expect him to go so soon.

"Thanks, Charlie!" I exclaimed.

Charlie gave me a look for using his first name but it melted sooner than it came. He walked out the door. Three seconds later, Edward came walking down the stairs. "Convincing, sweetheart. I'm actually surprised at how good you've gotten at lying." Edward's approval rang in his voice.

"Thanks," I said, scratching my head. Edward played with my messy ponytail.

"I love your hair." Edward said his random fact of the day. He smiled at me then tossed me over his shoulder.

"And where are we going?" I asked, but finding it hard to be annoyed when he was touching me.

"You need to eat and I'm too lazy to ask." Edward commented, shoving something into the microwave.

"Being upside down make my head hurt." I not so subtlety hinted.

Edward laughed and set me on the counter. "I'm sorry." He was still laughing. It wasn't that funny.

I rubbed my head. "Now I feel nauseous." I said, putting my face into my hands.

Edward kissed my forehead, then repeatedly trailed kisses on my collarbones. He kissed all the way down to the place the shirt covered. "Still feeling sick, love?" Edward asked. I shook my head. "Good." He smiled and handed me left over spaghetti out of the microwave.

I ate it quickly, only choking once to Edward's amusement as soon as I was done. I kicked Edward in the back as soon as I was able to breath clearly again. I looked outside, through the window visible from where I was sitting. "You should buy me a new car." I said, randomly. Edward's eyes lit up.

He lifted me off the counter, into his arms. "I love you so so so so so much." Between every so he'd kiss my face. "You're really going to let me buy you a car?" Edward was ecstatic. I giggled. Edward pulled away. We talked for about fifteen more minutes. "Charlie's coming up the street. I need to hide." He kissed my hairline then disappeared before I knew it.

The front door opened and shut. Charlie walked into the dinning room where I followed him, intensely. "How'd it go?" I asked, impatient, as I sat down across from him at the kitchen table.

"Ms. Cope isn't going to let up on the detention thing, Bella. Actually when she told me the story, I was very disappointed in you. I agree you deserve some kind of punishment for hitting the poor girl in the face." My mouth hung opened at Charlie's speech.

"She slapped me first!" I exclaimed. Okay, that's a lie but she's harassed me enough. "How can you side with her over your own child! Your only child! I guess you love your fricken town more than me!"

"Bells, what has gotten into you?" Charlie asked, as if he didn't know me.

"You know, any other parent in the world would defend their kid. Hell, even Tom Carter would defend his kids! And he's a drunk!"

"You're making that really difficult for me, Bella. The way you're dressing, the way you're talking, the way people are talking about you, the way you're acting..."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't told everyone in this town a bunch of gossip about me, this wouldn't have happened!" I yelled. "And how could you think that my getting detention was my fault?" I yelled as an afterthought.

"Because Ms. Cope said that Chelsea came in crying because she thought you broke her nose-"

"She's faking, dad!" I interrupted. "This isn't fair! I was fricken defending myself!"

Charlie sighed, "I know, but you still chose to throw that apple at Chelsea's nose."

"No one would care what I did if you weren't my dad!" I yelled jumping up, walking into the kitchen. "If you hadn't spread gossip around the entire town about me, I wouldn't have to deal with being harassed at school, either, would I!" I got right in his face, angry. Charlie sighed, for the first time he sounded like a father to me, not like he was annoyed, but like he pitied me. It was worse.

"I know, honey." Charlie's voice was strained. "It's why I don't know whether to ground you or feel sorry for you."

"How about you just bite me!" i yelled, throwing the cookies jaw off the counter and watched it splatter to the ground, emotionless.

"Okay that's it, Bella, you're grounded!" Charlie yelled, giving me a reaction, finally.

"Fine, ground me." I said, coolly. "I'll just call mommy and tell her if she doesn't move up here and let me live with her, I'll disappear! And this time, you'll never EVER" I slapped the counter to make my point, "see me again." I turned and stomped upstairs.

I opened and slammed my bedroom door. "That went well..." Edward mumbled.

"Shut it." I said, angry, but not at him. He was sitting in my rocking chair. I walked over and climbed into his lap. He rocked me back and forth for a while. "I'm sorry I'm making you deal with all the guys at school." I mumbled into his shoulder after a while of silence.

"As long as you happy, love, then I'll deal with anything." Edward kissed my nose. I smiled. "What are you thinking?" Edward asked.

"What am I going to wear tomorrow?" I asked, shutting my eyes, laying my head against his shoulder.

Edward chuckled. "I'll ask Alice later." He winked at me.

"You do that," I smiled again. I hadn't really gotten much sleep last night.

We didn't talk for a few more minutes; Edward just rocked us back and forth. "What are you thinking now?" Edward asked. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. He was constantly annoyed by the fact that he couldn't read my mind.

"I'm bored." I said, blankly.

Edward grinned at me. "Well, we can't have that, now can we?" Edward's lips met mine. I turned in his lap, the rocking chair abruptly stopping. I mixed my lips against his, pushing for more. To my surprise, he didn't end the kiss. Edward scooped me up, and took a step, laying me across the bed, then laying on top of me. He held all his weight so I felt none.

Edward's lips moved from mine, sensing I needed air. But then his lips moved down to my neck. He continued to kiss the skin there for minutes on end, not that I'm complaining. I sighed in pleasure when I felt Edward chuckle against my skin. Then he opened his mouth and sucked on my neck. Trust me, it felt good.

Edward kept on sucking on my neck for quite a while. I have no idea how long it was when Edward's phone vibrated. He pulled away from my neck to answer it. All I could hear is vampire speed talking. Edward laughed, nervously. "Okay," he said at a human pace and then snapped the phone shut.

"What was that?" I asked.

"My sister being annoying." Edward said, smiling at me a little. "I'm going to go talk to Emmett for a little bit. He's apparently annoying everyone. He wants a rematch for the fight he lost to me last night." I nodded, sad he was leaving. "I'll be back soon. I'll make it up to you," He promised, kissing my head.

After he was gone, I walked into the bathroom. I needed to fix my make up, most likely. I remember this from when I was younger. Make up constantly needed to be reapplied. I looked at the clock. It read 7:32. Then I turned and looked in the mirror. My mouth snapped open with what I saw.

Edward gave me a hickey.

**AN: Haha, I actually googled how long it takes for a hickey to show up. Some people said it takes hours but most said only a few minutes and the neck is where it shows up faster. Anyway, I just randomly threw that in there. I need 20 review, if there's anything you're confused about, feel free to ask, give me your feedback if you want. I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. Don't forget to vote on my poll on my profile. **


	33. Chapter 32: Weekend Fun

**AN: Mainly a fluff chapter but it's all good. I was bored so I took the time to write this. The next chapter is done so when I get like 15 or 16 reviews I put it up. I'm trying here but school is starting soon and everything. Can someone tell me if a freshman in high school's classes are hard? Thanks :) Please review and vote on my profile. It's crucial to the story. Please. And I realize I haven't really thanked anyone for reviewing lately so thanks for your supportive reviews even when I don't update for months or is just not in a good mood. So anyway here's the next chapter.**

"Edward Anthony Cullen, I'm going to kill you!" I boomed. I hadn't had a hickey since October of my freshmen year. I didn't want to call Nate and ask him how to get rid of it, because he'd never let me live that down.

Francia! She'd know! I walked back into my bedroom, thankfully Charlie didn't notice me. My iPhone was lying on top of my bed. I looked around the room for a moment. Edward wasn't kidding, he had cleaned my room for me when I was fighting with my dad.

I grabbed my iPhone and dialed Coco's number. I got a busy signal for a few seconds then Francia picked up. "Princess?" She said.

"The one and only."

"Oh my god, I was just talking to Sparkles on the other line. Hold on, let me three way." She paused then I heard Allie.

"PRINCESS!" She squealed.

"SPARKLES!" I squealed back.

"I missed you!" She said.

"I've missed you too!" I exclaimed, meaning what I was saying.

"How's Nate. He's not picking up any of my calls." Allie sounded annoyed.

"I know, right! He never answers." Coco exclaimed.

I laughed. "He always answers when I call," I said smug.

"Yeah, I'm sure you've called for him a lot." Alice teased.

"Nah, she's too busy calling for Edward." Francia joined in.

"Screw you guys." I laughed. "Actually that's why I called." I was abruptly more serious.

"Yes," Francia sounded confused.

I hesitated. "...How do you get rid of a hickey?" I asked, meekly.

"PRINCESS!" They shouted.

"What? It's a simple question!" I defended

"My god, girl, what have you gotten yourself into?" Allie asked.

"A lot, actually." I said, wryly.

"I'm listening." Francia said

"Me too," Allie chimed.

I spent the next fifteen minutes telling them about my day. "And then, my boyfriend, Edward," I said that for Allie's sake, "decided it would be nice to give me a hickey and make me look like a total slut." I explained. They laughed. "It's not funny," I said, though I was smiling. "Charlie is going fry me alive."

They laughed. "Nah, I think he's too afraid of you to do anything." Francia said

"What?" Allie and me said together.

"Seriously. I was there and I noticed her dad is like, almost afraid to not give Bella what she wants." Francia told Allie.

"He is not!" I exclaimed.

"I think your parents are the same, Isabel." Allie noted.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Renee always gave you whatever you wanted and pretty much let you get away with anything. She had like no boundaries for you. And your dad was never around, so she really had to figure it out on her own. Now it's the other way around." Allie explained

"Renee is around!" I exclaimed, though it was obvious I was lying.

"She is not!" Allie exclaimed.

"How would you know?" I asked, bewildered.

"Coco." She said brightly. I had almost forgotten Francia was there too.

"Thanks, Francia!" I threw my free hand in the air.

"You're welcome."

"So can you guys tell me how to get rid of a hickey?" I was getting impatient.

"Umm, try ice. Or a cold spoon." Allie suggested. She was less experienced than some of our other friends. Only her, Mason, and Millie hadn't had sex. Tommy had a one-night stand with a girl he can't remember the name of and Gwen has had sex but she won't admit it to anyone. The only way we know, is she told us once when we were all drunk, which is unusual for her so it affects her different than some.

"Soak a green tea bag in hot water for a few seconds, then press it on your neck for ten minutes or so, it forced the redness and swelling to go down. Then use a moisturizer-it replenishes skin cells-and use oil-based foundation to cover it up." Francia instructed. I was dumbfounded and I'm pretty sure Allie was too. "Am I a slut? I sound like a total pro at this," Francia asked after an awkward silence. Nether of us answered. "You GUYS!" Francia yelled.

We both laughed. "So Allie, lose your virginity yet?" I asked,

"Almost, then my brother walked in."

"Spill." I ordered. We spent the next hour on the phone, comparing sexual experiences. "I better go, you guys."

"Me too." Francia agreed.

"Talk to you guys later." I said.

"Love you." Allie said.

"Love you too, Sparkles." I said as I hung up.

I looked at the clock. It as like nine o five. For some reason my mind went to my sixteen-year-old cousin, Lucas. He hated going to bed and not being able to sleep, but my uncle Troy insisted he go to bed before ten. I dialed his number in my phone. I wondered if he'd pick up. I didn't avoid him, but we haven't talked since Edward left and he was worried about me.

"Hello?" A guy's voice rang.

"Hey, baby cousin!" I said, excited,

"Hey! You're the one named Princess!" Lucas laughed.

I chuckled. "True. Sorry I'm calling so late, I was bored."

"Oh, life with your new boyfriend isn't exciting?" Lucas teased

"Um how'd you know I had a boyfriend?" I asked, suspicious,

"Gossip gets around," Lucas tried to brush it off. I didn't budge. "Nate told Aidenn and Aidenn told me." Lucas replied. Oh, I forgot he was best friends with Aidenn.

"Oh, how is Aidenn?" I asked.

"You haven't seen him yet?" He sounded shocked.

"Nope. Been kind of busy." I stated simply

"With what?" Lucas sounded curious.

I shrugged but he couldn't see. I spent the next half an hour explaining exactly what happened to my little cousin. It took so long because he asks so many freaking questions.

"So have you kept in touch with any of your other friends?" He asked.

"Um, I called Ricky, Francia was just here and I just talked to Allie. I'm probably going to call Casey and Gwen next." I noted.

He laughed, "Sounds like you got everything planned out,"

"You bet," I said, bubbly. "So how's your life?" I asked.

"Not nearly as cool."

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I asked.

"I did. Then she turned out to be a total bitch."

I laughed, "I bet Uncle Troy had something to say about that." Troy was notorious for being cynical about love. I remember his comfort after Edward left. He had made Lucas call me then he took the phone.

"Listen, Princess. There are going to be asses in this world. And there are going to be jackasses in this world. And there are going to be pussies. And then there are going to be bad asses in this world. Then you tell Uncle Troy and Milo to kick their ass and we will but in the end, you'll probably end up with something you never imagined you'd want and you probably don't want, but if you have kids, then you end up content. Usually. Listen, Isabel, I gotta go. I love you, little girl." He had said. It had almost made me laugh.

Lucas laughed, "You bet he did." I could hear someone in the background. "Hey, dad, I'm talking to Isabel. Do you mind?" Lucas exclaimed.

Apparently Troy took the phone. "Hey, niece." He said.

"Hey, uncle Troy." I said, bubbly as ever.

"Sorry, but your cousin has to go to bed. He's grounded." He explained. He probably left the room because I couldn't hear my cousin anymore.

"What'd he do?" I asked.

"He took a play out of your book, Isabel. He stole a bunch of stuff and got caught," Troy explained. I laughed, remembering when I did that.

"Really?" I asked.

"I'm pretty sure Aidenn gave him the idea. Ya know how those two kids always thought you and your friends were so cool."

"Yeah I remember."

"So how's living with Charlie going?" Troy asked

"He's a total jackass." I said, loud and clear.

Troy laughed. "Yeah, I remember. None of us wanted Renee to marry him and then we found out they only got married because she was pregnant and we all thought, 'Oh great, now we're stuck with him in this family. What did we do to deserve-" I cleared my throat, "We all love you, Princess." He added.

"Uh huh," I rolled my eyes. Troy yawned, "I'm going to go." I said.

"Love you," He mumbled. already half asleep.

"Me too." I hung up.

As soon as I was off the phone, Edward crawled in my window. "Hey, love." Edward said, sweetly.

"Care to explain?" I asked, baring my neck.

Edward smiled sheepishly. "I wanted all the guys to know that you were mine."

"So you practically marked your territory on me? Why didn't you just pee?" I threw my hands in the air, setting my iPhone down.

Edward fought a laugh. I continued to glare. "I said, I'd make it up to you." Edward said in a small voice, like a little boy who just got caught stealing a cookie.

"Oh, really? That's what you meant?" I asked, walked past him. He grabbed my waist, pulling me down into his lap as he sat on the bed.

"I promise, anything you want you can have," Edward kissed my forehead. I rolled my eyes. He was dazzling me, of course. But then I got ideas of things I wanted. My change and sex came to mind. "Anything but that, love." Edward apparently read my mind.

"Help me take my hair out. I going to bed early." I said, still slightly annoyed. Edward did as he was told and gently ran his finger through my long brown hair, straightening any tangles. He picked me up and laid me down on my bed, under the covers. He kissed my cheek, his lips lingering there for a moment. "Don't give me a hickey on my cheek," I said, still annoyed. He laid on his side, next to me.

I turned away from him, on my side. Edward's eyes were on my back, I could feel. "Here, listen, I'll give you a back massage." Edward's hands rubbed my back, through my stolen shirt that was at least two sizes to big.

"I don't want one." I mumbled, though his hands felt amazing.

"You've been complaining lately about a sore back." Edward kissed my ear. I still grumbled. Without hesitation, he pulled my arms out of the sleeves of the plaid shirt that once belonged to Nate. Edward lifted the back of my shirt, completely to my shoulders and went to rubbing my back. I gave up on being mad about the hickey. I wanted to come off as a slut. This seemed like a good opportunity now I think about it.

Edward continued to rub my bare back. Every once in a while he'd plant a kiss, here and there.

When I woke up, Edward was tracing circles on my tummy. It growled.

"You need to eat." Edward stated, pulling my shirt down and lifting me into his arms.

"What about school?" I yawned, letting him carry me down stairs.

"Its Saturday, Bells."

"Oh." I mouthed. "Where's Charlie?" I asked.

"At the station." Edward said, setting me down on his lap and pealing a banana. I laid against him, resting the back of my head in his neck.

"Can we go to your house today?" I asked.

"Sure, but you might want to get ready first," Edward suggested, holding the banana up to my mouth. I took a few bites.

"I can feed myself, you know?" Edward chuckled, tossing the banana in the garbage.

"Go shower." He rolled his eyes.

After I was done in the shower I walked into my room, where Edward was waiting for me. I was securely wrapped in a fluffy towel. Edward laughed at the towel wrapped around my head. I ignored him.

"Which one looks better?" I asked, holding up two pairs of shorts.

Edward rolled his eyes and pointed towards the blue ones. I pulled out a pair of plain white underwear and bra. I looked up, hoping he was watching me. I like tempting him. It made it harder for him not to give in. Edward chuckled and walked out the door. He was on to me. "I'm going to see if your curling iron is ready." He called over his shoulder.

I dressed in the turquoise shorts Edward had picked and pulled on my white camisole.

I walked into the bathroom quickly and turned on the blow dryer, unwrapping the towel from my hair. I quickly blow-dried my hair, while I had Edward brush it for me. After it was dry, I put this shimmering hair stuff all over my head, and then grabbed the curling iron. I twisted my hair's ends and quickly let it go; only slightly making it wavy. After that I pulled my bangs back to the crown of my head and pinned then there. I hair sprayed it for a while.

"Okay, sweetheart. You don't need to hairspray the whole room." I rolled my eyes and pulled out the make up bag. I heard Edward sigh, impatient. Wow, that's a first. The only thing he's usually impatient about is my car speed.

I just put on loads and loads of cover-up and thin black eyeliner and really expensive mascara. "Okay, I'm ready." I said, looking at Edward, who was watching me.

After he grabbed a hoodie for me, we went to the Volvo and drove to his house. Rosalie was working on her car, with Emmett standing over her. Emmett was the first to notice me.

"Wow, Bells. Alice wasn't kidding." Emmett called. Rosalie kicked him. "Ow, Rosie." Edward found it amusing. He said something at vampire speed, guiding me into his huge house.

I was glad it was warm inside the house, heated because they knew I was coming over, no doubt. It was really chilly outside. Alice came bouncing down the stairs. "Oh my gosh, Bella, I love your hair. I think we should go shopping." Alice suggested, hyperactive. Sometimes I think she should be tested for ADHD.

"Fine." I rolled my eye when Edward responded for me.

"I don't want to go." I whined, pulling on Edward's arm, which was dragging me out.

"Please, Bella, for me?" Edward's eyes dazzled me.

I glared, childishly. "No fair." I pouted. Edward chuckled and threw me over his shoulder. He, to my surprise, didn't insist on driving. I rolled my eyes. of course, Alice gets to drive but Edward never lets me drive. I always wanted to drive his Volvo, but no, Bella isn't aloud. I glared up at my boyfriend.

"What is it, love?" He asked, touching my bottom lip. I squinted and bit down on his finger. He laughed.

Once we got to the mall, Alice was dragging me into stores I've never heard the name of before. At one point we walked-actually dragged is more like it-into a dress store.

"Why are we here?" I asked, fearing the answer.

"Senior prom." Alice beamed

My mouth snapped open. "But I'm not going!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, you are." Alice said, looking over dresses in size 2, which had to be for me because she's a zero.

"I don't want to." I whined, looking up at Edward who was dazzling me.

"It'll be fun." Edward smiled crookedly. "You said yourself, last year, that it wasn't so bad."

"Come on, Bella, it'll be a good way to show off." Alice said, using my plans against. I glared, not having an argument at the moment.

"You guys are taking advantage of me, aren't you?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes!" Alice exclaimed, smiling brightly. Edward just chuckled.

"Fine." I gave in, much to both their surprises. "I'll go. But I get to pick out my own dress." I ordered.

"Oh come on, Bella, let me have a little fun." Alice exclaimed.

"Too bad." I shrugged. I wondered if I was acting like a bitch. "Why don't you look for your own?" I asked, nicer.

Alice beamed again. "Okay," She gave in too, "We'll compromise. You go to prom if you pick out your dress but I have to approve it."

"Okay, mom." I said, sarcastic.

Edward laughed. I grabbed his hand, dragging him over to the dress racks farther away. I pulled a bunch of dresses up, rejecting most of them, but the ones I like I hung on Edward's arm. He didn't seem to mind being my little shopping holder. I think it's because he got his way with me. I'm going to prom, willingly.

The dresses I approved were shortish, pretty and feminine but definitely a little slutty. I swore I had 80 when I was done picking them off the racks. I dragged Edward into a exclusive dressing room with me, where Alice was waiting. We were the only ones in the place.

Edward sat in the chair outside the stall, right by the three-way mirror, while Alice was with me, in the stall, zipping up all my dresses and inspecting them as well as trying to see me in them. Each time I came out, Edward was always complementary and never criticized. No, that was me and Alice's job. I would say things like, 'I look so fat!' or 'My ass looks huge! Why didn't you ever tell me!' or and my personal favorite, 'Too long!'. Edward and Alice, both, very well knew I was mainly kidding or just trying to get a reaction.

Edward's response to each was right on point. He told me how amazing my figure was when I said I was fat and he chuckled or rolled his eyes when I said, too long. He never responded to my butt comment, though Alice cracked a smile.

Alice was critical, though. Edward glared and nudged her a few times. Alice said they were too short or too long or too skanky or not flattering. I wanted her honest opinion so I didn't mind that but she was getting my nerves as she yanked dress after dress on and off of me. After the eighth dress, we stopped going into the stall and I just changed in front of the mirror and Edward.

After about sixteen dresses, Alice unzipped and tugged a skintight medium blue dress, with black straps, off my body. Edward squeezed my hand, sensing I was getting tired.

"Alice," His tone was warning.

"Shut up, Edward. I'm working on a masterpiece here." She pulled a small pink dress that I had barely looked at to be honest, and handed it to me. I sighed and stepped into it as Alice zipped the back. I turned and looked in the mirror.

"I like this one." I commented.

"Me too." Alice said, robotically, gripping the material.

"You always look stunning, love." Edward said, from his seat. Alice was still inspecting the dress.

"Bend over and make sure it doesn't show your underwear." Alice ordered. I did as I was told.

"Spin and make sure it doesn't fly up too high." Edward said. I, once again, did as I was told.

"Am I you guys' puppet now?" I prodded, playfully, admiring myself in the mirror. Edward rolled his eyes and opened his arms for me. I gladly ran into them, climbing into his lap. He kissed my temple.

"Thanks for putting up with Alice." Edward kissed my earlobe.

"Don't thank me yet. We still got nearly 60 more dresses."

He rolled his eyes. "_You _didn't grab nearly that much, honey."

Before I could say anything else, Alice yanked me up and tugged my dress off, tossing me another one. Black this time. She threw the pink one at Edward.

"Hold onto it. It's in the yes pile." Alice zipped up my back. I looked in the mirror. "It's not flattering." Alice said, tugging the zipper down.

"It looked fine." Edward grumbled, not liking Alice insult my looks.

"As opposed to stunning in her last dress." Alice raised an eyebrow, as did I, catching the difference. Edward meekly looked towards the next dress Alice had ready for me.

She shoved me into a green one, that didn't cover most of my upper half. Edward said no to that one immediately, probably thinking of the guys at school who'd be attending this prom as well. Then I tried on a skin colored one which they both didn't like, according to color. Alice handed me a light blue one. It went to past my knees so I said no. Alice started tossing dress after dress after dress to me.

Edward started getting tired on me, which I didn't think was possible. I felt the urge to kick him as he laid across the couch like bench, with five discarded dresses covering his face, but I resisted, knowing I'd be the one in pain.

Alice continued to hand and inspect dress after dress on me. After about three more hours, Alice had approved of a black and pink sequined dress, a white one with a pink bow and a dark blue strapless one Edward had sat up long enough to say he liked. I was exhausted, but Alice kept on shoving me into more and more dresses. I was afraid of developing a rash, somehow from the itchy material.

I was getting tired, for real now. I wished I knew what time it was as Edward helped me pull a dress over my head. Alice was hanging up the last fifteen she'd thrown to the floor to get others. I was ready to pass out, as I sat down on Edward's legs, not caring that I was only in my underwear, curling myself to him. Edward wrapped his arms around me, cuddling but avoiding my chest, until Alice pulled me up and into another uncomfortable dress. Then twenty more after that one. Edward went back to burying himself under rejected dresses.

After about ten more, I took the inishitve to grab another dress as Alice hung up another reject on the hanger. The dress I grabbed was pink and silver and strapless with a blended in bow. It was short and cute, so I liked it. I looked at Alice. She nodded, smiling. Our little third opinion was still silent. I walked over about two feet and pulled the clothes off Edward's head.

He shot up. "What'd I miss?" He exclaimed, kidding around, I think. It was hard to tell, he was such a good actor.

"Me get shoved into uncomfortable pounds of fabric by your sister." I said, with a pleasant voice. Edward chuckled. "what do you think of this one?" I asked, spinning around.

"It's gorgeous, sweetheart." Edward kissed my hand. His fingertips traced my eyelids. "You look tired." He smiled at me.

I shrugged, who knew, besides Alice probably, that shopping, like this, was so tiring. I was so used to the kind of shopping where you had to grab your stuff and haul ass.

Before he could say anything else, Alice unzipped the dress I was wearing and handed me a new one before I could even step out of the one I was already wearing. Edward gave her an annoyed look. Alice beamed, at the dress I was just wearing.

"I like this one best," She said as she hung it up and handed it to Edward to go with the other four she'd approved. I pulled on a white one and immediately took it off, throwing it with the other thirty something on the floor. Alice had a icy blue one waiting. I slipped it on and had Edward zip it up on me. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror with Edward behind me.

"I like this one." I said, bending over out of habit of what Alice had instructed me to do. I had gotten over the embarrassment of my boyfriend seeing my panties. I had to, considering I was stripping down right in front of him now. Alice wouldn't let me wear a bra when trying on dresses.

"It's pretty." Edward said, grabbing my arm and spinning me around. "I love this color one you," He continued.

I beamed and stood on my toes to kiss him. I didn't get to do much with Alice clearing her throat though. I fake glared as she handed me a purple dress now. I tried on twelve more rejects and a pink one that made the cut.

Hours passed and we were still in the dressing room, trying on more and more. I didn't think I'd had that many dresses, some I didn't recognize ever seeing. I realized Alice had picked out a bunch for me, instead of her when I sent her off. I sighed not wanting to know how many I was going to have to try on.

There was a hot pink one that made my chest heave out so far that I kept it on just so I could tease Edward, who was avoiding looking at me in it. I guess his horny attitude of yesterday had no survived to today. Shame...

I tried on a banana yellow dress with a gold and fake diamond top. None, of us, even Edward, liked it. I pulled on a medium pink dress that I loved, as did Edward while Alice had second thoughts about it. She pulled me in about twenty-five other dresses, so fast it was almost painful. I felt like I was in a fashion show where you only had two minutes to look spectacular.

Alice put me in a lot of uncomfortable dresses but there was one that took the cake. It was orange on bottom, pink on top.

"Oh my god! It looks so great!" Alice exclaimed. I tried to smile back but it came out as a grimace.

"Alice, it hurts. Like bad." I said, pointing to the chest area where it was squeezing me. I turned around and looked at myself backwards in the mirror. Sure enough, there were forming red marks. The dress was probably a size too small.

"It okay, Bells. Beauty means pain." Alice said still admiring her work.

"Alice, I can't wear it." I exclaimed.

"Bella, yes you can." Alice argued. She turned her back, no longer listening as I protested. I turned back to Edward, who had stayed out of our fight.

"You could have helped me," I pouted, purposely making him feel bad.

"I didn't want to cause trouble, love." Edward kissed my forehead.

"Please, don't let her force to wear this to prom." I begged. Edward kissed my cheek this time.

"I won't," He promised. "I don't understand, though. What's wrong with this dress?" Edward asked.

"It hurts my boobs." I said. Edward chuckled. I hit him with my now healed hand. I made sure not to do it hard.

"Sorry," He flashed me his irresistible smile. I whimpered in pain and arched my back as the dress's zipper dug into my back. Edward spun me around and unzipped it, helping me step out of it. His hand trailed down my back, where the zipper must of made it red. "Oh, baby." He planted a kiss on my back. "Alice, she's not going to buy this dress," Edward said, still rubbing my back.

"It looks great on her, Edward. You saw it." Alice was determined.

"It pretty much carved itself into her back," Edward shot back.

"Put some ice on it." Alice chuckled at how seriously Edward took my pain. "If Bella broke a nail, you'd kiss it better for her," Alice taunted.

Edward shrugged, unmoved. "Jasper does the same for you."

"True." Alice said, wryly. "Here," She handed me another dress. It was midnight blue and had sparkles all over the front. Edward zipped it for me, very carefully. I was bored by now, so I just asked Edward how it looked.

"It's actually one of my favorites." Edward smiled his crooked smile.

"He'd like anything on you if it was blue." Alice remarked.

"Cool," I yawned. Edward chuckled at my shrug it off attitude.

"Let's get you home, love." Edward helped me out of the dress and into my shorts and tank top, which kinda hurt my back. Edward scooped me up and carried me out of the store and the whole mall. I was surprised that no one was there other than store workers, shutting down their shops.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Almost eleven." Edward said. "The mall stays open later on weekends."

"We really spent the whole day here?" I asked.

Edward just chuckled and kissed my forehead. He tried to put me in the passenger seat but I just climbed on top of him when he got in the driver's.

"What?" I exclaimed, sleepily. "You're my pillow." Edward laughed out loud this time, kissing my hair, gently. "Can I spend the night with you?" I asked.

"Sure, but what about Charlie?" Edward asked.

"Screw him." I said, half asleep, already.

Alice, eventually, showed up to the car with five bags of my dresses.

"Sorry for being a pain in the ass." I muttered to her.

"Sorry for being a bitch." Alice said back. I smiled, like a idiot because I'm tired, at her.

"Sorry for burying myself under all Bella's rejected dresses." Edward said, lightheartedly.

Alice and me laughed quietly. Edward sped home with me lying across him. I know I fell asleep because the next thing I know is Edward laying me on my stomach in his bed, pulling my shirt up completely and my shorts down a little. I was curious to what he was doing. The jumped when I felt something wet and cold come in contact with my back. I realized it was ice.

Edward let the ice sit on my back for a while. While he started to dry my no longer sore back, he started humming my lullaby. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep. When I woke up, Edward wasn't in the room at all. I groaned and laid deeper into the pillows. Edward appeared after five minutes of staring at the ceiling.

"Sorry, love." Edward leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Esme had a few questions."

"About?" I asked, groggily.

"Oh, it's nothing." Edward brushed off quickly. Too quickly.

"Edward, what are trying to keep from me?" I asked, starting to sit up. Edward laid down beside me, pulling me back flat on the bed.

"Bella, stop worrying." Edward said in my ear.

"Then tell me what you were talking about," I insisted

Edward sighed, "She wanted to know how you're doing. How you're grieving."

It dawned on me then. "She wanted to know about Novalee." I nodded, it all fit.

"Yes." Was all Edward said. He just continued to stare at me, like he was expecting some big reaction to take place. Still, mentioning my daughter's name twisted my stomach inside out.

It was strange how grief worked. I could go months or weeks without being, necessarily, sad about Novalee. I could talk about her for three days straight but on the fourth day, someone would mention her name and I would lose it.

Like that, I felt the water works coming. Edward did too. "Oh, baby, don't cry. It's okay. I didn't mean to upset you." Edward hugged me closer and ran his hand through my messy hair that he had to of pulled into a pony tail last night. I silently cried into Edward's chest. "Anything that would help you? Even a tiny bit?" Edward sounded desperate.

I glanced at him and thought of something I'd seen on a random movie last month. I pulled my shirt up halfway. Edward seemed to get the message as he chuckled and started rubbing my tummy. It felt so good but it didn't make me feel much better emotionally. I just kept laying there as Edward rubbed my tummy.

This continued for at least two hours. We talked a little during but we didn't keep up a conversation. Somewhere I fell asleep, still loving the feeling of Edward fingers tracing my stomach. I knew why he was doing it, though. And why Edward insisted I go to the mall and get a prom dress. Edward was trying to distract me.

It was obvious. I couldn't actually blame him, though. I'd do anything if it meant making him happy too. It's partially why I agreed to go to prom, I realized. After a while, Edward kissed my temple, lifting me out of bed.

"What do you want to do today?" He asked, his face to close to concentrate on anything else.

I shrugged. "Be lazy, maybe watch a movie?" I suggested. Edward chuckled.

"You better go shower, love." Edward suggested. "Alice can run over and get you some of your clothes."

"No," I insisted suddenly, getting an idea. "It's okay."

Edward gave me a strange look, "You're just going to wear the same thing, two days in a row?"

I laughed at his assumption. "No, dork." I playfully shoved him when relief washed over his face. "I'll just wear one of your t-shirts or something."

Edward laughed and kissed my hair. "I'm going to go get you breakfast."

After he was gone, I walked over to Edward's dresser. It was almost as tall as the ceiling. I groaned, in anticipation of what I had to do. I jumped up to reach the top drawer and I still wasn't tall enough. Finally, after many attempts, I opened the very top drawer. I jumped up again, trying to grab it and hang on. No such luck. So I tried again. And again. And again. And again and again. I was starting to feel like the little engine that could.

Finally, I squirmed my way up the dresser and got myself to stay on the top drawer long enough to grab something. But this time, I did the opposite of before. Instead of falling back down, I fell inside the drawer with my butt and legs sticking out. I figured, while I was in the drawer, I might as well get what I needed. I realized then I needed the drawer below this one.

I heard a chuckling and knew Edward had seen the whole thing. I started kicking my legs as a sign to get me down but at first he did nothing. I started breathing heavy and pretended I was suffocating. I felt his hands on my hips and then he lifted me straight out of the drawer, without a problem.

"Could you have done that, oh, I don't know, ten minutes ago?" I asked, pressing my face into his shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Maybe I shouldn't have pretended to suffocate. Now, Edward would hover. Not that I really minded so much but I felt guilty that I made him worry.

"I'm fine." I said, bubbly. Edward's expression changed to slightly annoyed for freaking him out.

"Go shower, girl." Edward set me on the ground. I laughed

"I need one of your shirts." I said, sweetly.

Edward rolled his eyes and opened his dresser and pulled out a light blue, long sleeve shirt.

"Thanks," I kissed his cheek as I took his shirt to the bathroom down the hall. Inside the water was already running and there were two towels on the ground.

I stripped down and got in the shower. As I got out and dried myself off, I wondered where Edward was. Was he talking to his family about me again? I groaned, hoping I wasn't their newest gossip.

I felt guilt a minute later, remembering that they were all just concerned for me and my well-being and my sanity, honestly. I wished I already was a Cullen so I could just say Carlisle and Esme were my parents and not Renee and Charlie who had screwed me up so bad.

I was buttoning Edward's shirt up when he walked in. He met my gaze and retreated backwards. "Sorry, thought you were done." He said.

I laughed. "It's fine. I don't have a problem changing in front of you." I said, shameless.

Edward cracked up. "No, I suppose you don't." He said, helping me button up the rest of the shirt. I didn't hear any footsteps but suddenly Emmett was right in front of Edward and me.

"Alice told me to give these to you." Emmett tossed me underwear. "She said it was so you wouldn't flash anyone." Emmett laughed as I scowled and tried not to blush. Edward slammed the bathroom door in Emmett's face.

He cursed something that he usually only said when he thought I was listening. I slipped them on under Edward's shirt. I looked at Edward, who was looking away to give me privacy. I walked up and wrapped my arms around his neck, standing on my toes. Edward leaned down so I didn't strain myself.

"My brother is a loser." Edward whispered in my ear.

I had to smile. "I know." I whispered back.

"HEY!" I heard Emmett shout from his and Rosalie's room.

Edward rolled my eyes, annoyed. "Did you know Jasper's my favorite brother?" Edward said casually.

"Really?" I played along.

"Jerks!" Emmett called.

"I love you too, Eddie," Jasper called.

"Scratch that. I don't have a favorite brother." Edward said in monotone. "My favorite person is you." I giggled. "Why are we even talking about my brothers?" Edward asked most himself.

"Why are we even talking at all?" I asked, and planted a kiss on Edward's lips. Edward lifted me into his arms. Okay, now I know why Alice made me put on underwear.

I kissed Edward with all the passion I could. When I opened my mouth, Edward actually let the kiss go on for ten more seconds before he ended it.

"And I thought Rose was an animal." Emmett said, obviously right next to the door.

"Go to hell, Emmett." I meant to sound stern but it all came out as bright and happy. Edward chuckled as he opened the bathroom door.

"What my girlfriend said," Edward gave Emmett a look I didn't understand one bit but Emmett did. Rosalie must not have gotten it either because she looked at me, confused. I shrugged.

Edward pulled me along, taking me into the Cullen living room where Alice and Jasper were. They were watching Barbie and the Nutcracker. Well, Alice looked like she was enjoying it, kind of and Jasper was only enjoying it because of Alice's emotions.

I plopped down next to Alice. Edward just stood in the doorway.

"I see you took my advice." Alice winked at me. I nudged her but she didn't feel it.

"What the hell are you watching, Jasper?" Edward asked, barely able to contain his laughter.

"Alice wanted to." Jasper shifted the blame. Wasn't he nice to his sometimes wife?

"It looked interesting." Alice defended herself as her brow furrowed.

"For you. Yeah, probably." Edward rolled his eyes.

"I fricken love this movie," I fake glared at my boyfriend. Jasper and Edward both looked at me and fought back laughter. "Don't judge me!" I exclaimed.

Edward laughed out loud. "Since when?" He asked, sitting next to me.

I climbed into his lap. "Since it was one of the five movies I had when I was three," I exclaimed, completely serious. "I got it from my cousin Kate-Lyn because she felt bad for me, when my mom left my dad." Edward looked remorseful all of a sudden, "Hey, don't get that look on your face." I exclaimed.

Edward didn't say much as he kissed the side of my head and turned to the television. We all watched the movie for a while, as Edward watched me. Jasper only looked happy because Alice seemed to like the movie, especially when the little blue fairies showed up. When the movie was over Edward scooped me up and carried me to his car to drive me home.

When we got there, I realized Charlie's cruiser wasn't home. He must be at work. "Edward?" I asked, from the passenger seat.

"Yeah?"

"What time is it?" I asked

"About 5:30," Edward said, putting the car in park and carrying me into the house.

"I can walk, you know." I said

"Yes, you seem to make that abundantly clear," Edward chided as he put me on my feet.

"Just checking." I walked in the kitchen, deciding what to cook. "I'm hungry." I noted.

Edward chuckled, his arms around my waist, "Glad to hear it."

I walked over to the cabinets. In the top cabinet is where Charlie keeps his cookbooks. It'd be easier than trying to decide what to make from scratch. But the only problem was the top cabinet nearly touched the ceiling. We didn't have any chairs I could stand on. I spotted Edward in the corner, watching me intensely.

"Angel, what are you thinking?" Edward asked.

"Edward, can you help me with something?" I asked, like the doting girlfriend.

"Sure?" He said it as a question though.

"Come here," I motioned him forward. "Can you open the top cupboard and give me the cook books." I asked.

Edward laughed. "Oh, that's all you wanted." He said more to himself than anything else. Edward went to open the cabinet and couldn't reach. I fought a laugh, unsuccessfully.

"You can't reach either?" I asked, giggling.

Edward glared at me, playfully. "Come here, you." He lifted me by the armpits and tried to get me tall enough for the cabinet. I still wasn't.

I groaned, frustrated, as Edward swung me up, bridal style. "This is so annoying! You're fricken six foot one, Edward. Holding up a five foot two girl should be tall enough to get to a freaking cabinet!" I was annoyed, obviously.

"Try this, love." Edward didn't say anymore before he lifted my feet onto his shoulders. I leaned forward, trying to grab the cabinet but failing. Instead I swayed back and fell off Edward's shoulders. Edward caught me, one hand behind my head, the other arm around my waist. "Maybe that wasn't a good suggestion," He said to himself.

"It would have been fine for someone who didn't have crappy balance." I said, the wind knocked out of me.

Edward started to help me up when I got a new idea. "Bend down," I ordered.

"Why?" He asked, stubborn. I rolled my eyes, needing to try out this idea before I lost my nerve. I climbed onto his back and grabbed his head so I had something to balance on. Edward seemed to understand what I was doing, as he helped me up on his shoulders.

I giggled at how tall I suddenly was. "Damn, you can see everything from up here." I commented. "I might make you carry me on your shoulders all the time."

"You'd have so much fun getting in doorways." Edward shot back as he grabbed my hand to keep me balanced. It was kind of hard though. I reached for the cabinet which I was now tall enough to reach, but when I leaned forward I started swaying again. Edward held me upright, without any strain but suddenly he tensed.

"Isabella Marie Swan! What the hell is going on in here!" Charlie thundered from the kitchen doorway.

"Trying to get a cook book, stupid!" I yelled right back, without missing a beat.

"And that requires your boyfriend's shoulders in your underwear? I don't think so." Charlie was still pissed but his voice was too strained to yell.

"Well, maybe if someone could build worth a damn, none of this would ever happen!" I shrieked. Edward popped me off his shoulders. "And I can wear whatever I want, dad." I spit the last word at him.

"Get out!" Charlie yelled, directed at Edward. "Get the hell out and never come back," Charlie started towards him to drag him out but I latched onto him.

"If he leaves, so do I." I threatened. Charlie's eyes widened.

He shook his head as it turned red. "Get the hell out. I need to talk to Bella." Charlie said to Edward.

"Go to my room." I whispered to Edward.

Edward leaned down and kissed me full on the lips. I really got into it, knowing my father was watching. After five seconds Charlie yanked me off of Edward. Edward's eyes never left mine as he walked out the front door.

I grinned, smugly. Then I pivoted. "What do you want?" I asked, coolly.

"My daughter back. Because this person that I'm right now, isn't her." Charlie demanded.

"Maybe you just don't know her as well as you think." I glared.

Charlie shook his head and groaned. "Where is this coming from?" Charlie demanded.

"Where is this coming from!" I yelled. "Where the hell do you think it's coming from! How could you trash your daughter the way you did!" I threw my hands in the air.

Charlie shook his head. "How could you lie to your father!" He yelled back.

"When!" I screamed. He started to say something but I cut him off. "You weren't around to lie to! You abandoned me! How the hell am I supposed to let that go!" I didn't wait for a response as I ran upstairs, knowing my dad wasn't going to follow me.

I slammed the door to my room. The first thing I did was yank open a plastic clothing container. I dug to the bottom and found the pink teddy bear Charlie gave me when I was little. I had slept with it every night until I moved here. I took it and chucked it at the window.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Edward's voice was frantic. I shook my head franticly.

"I don't know," I whispered broken and lost. I felt Edward's arms wrap around me. Before I knew it, he was, once again, rocking me while I cried. "Why?" I cried.

"Why what, love?" Edward cooed.

I couldn't form the words. Why did Charlie neglect me? Why didn't he fight for me? Why wasn't I important enough? What's wrong with me?

I cried for a short time after that and then me and Edward talked about anything and everything. Edward started talking cars and the prom with me. I still didn't know which dress I was going to wear but I honestly didn't care. It wasn't important other than to show off and make Edward happy.

I fell asleep hours later, on top of Edward. I swear sometime in the night, I heard someone talking...

**AN: I need like somewhere between 15 to 17 for this chapter. Oh and please vote on the poll on my profile! Please!**


	34. Chapter 33: Dazed & Confused & Unaware

**AN: So this is kind of a chapter so you can know what Charlie's thinking. I don't really know what to write right now in the author's note, so yeah. Least, I'm honest :) Please REVIEW. **

As I stood in the doorframe of my child's bedroom, I couldn't help wonder...

Is this my fault? I looked at my little girl, and wondered how she spun this far out of control. She used to be so sweet and happy, then she visited Forks that one year and got caught on security cameras, stealing a bunch of junk she didn't need.

When I called Renee, she didn't pick up. Months later when Renee finally got back to me, she got defensive and pushy and told me to back off. She threatened to take Bella and never let me see my own child again. Renee told me to stay out of Bella's life**. **So I did. I backed off Renee and Bella. I figured Renee would come tell me that Bella was in prison for stealing a car or shoplifting or using a fake credit card and I'd go work it out and ground Bella for the rest of her life.

What I didn't expect was to hear, my only daughter had a baby and didn't tell me. I almost laughed out loud when she told me. Bella must have slept with Nate and didn't want me to get angry with her so she made up some dumb lie. So went along with it. Pretended to actually believe her. What I didn't pretend though, was that I'm angry. Why would she lie like this?

I realized she wanted attention. The attention I never gave her as a child. But this is no way to get it. It's nothing to joke around about. I was shocked to hear Nate and her actually made up a name for this fake kid. Bella needed to understand that this was a serious concept. So I did what any father would do. I told everyone in the town her stupid story and that she was looking for attention. I had to make sure if Bella told anyone else they knew she was lying. That way Bella would just knock off her late teenage rebellion.

But she didn't. She just got worse.

At first she didn't come home at night. Then she had some friend of hers, one of those girls that convinced her to have sex with Nate, over to the house. Then she started dressing like a hooker. Now I'm being told she is getting into fights at school and she's threatening to run away. And to top it all off, she's hanging out with Nate Carter and Edward Cullen.

The two worse boys to ever be around, and my daughter picks them both. God, every time I think of that little detail I think of how she took Edward back after he hurt her so bad. Or how she's scheming and lying and apparently sleeping with Nate. And now I can't help but think, that there's something in me, the way I treated her or didn't treat her, or how I wasn't around when she was growing up, that she's angry at me for abandoning her, that it made her vulnerable to asses like Edward or Nate. Bella is spiraling out of my control and I don't know what to do.

I can't help her. I can't talk to her. I can't talk to anyone about her. All Billy can help me with is useless, considering he was around for both Rachel and Rebecca growing up. And Harry's dead. I thought of calling Milo or Troy or Bella's cousin Lu or Lyle or something. But Renee's whole family hated me.

I glanced at my daughter, who was now sleeping in her bed, sound asleep. She looked so sweet and innocent there. When did that change? What happened that made Bella go from my little princess to a resentful, angry, bratty, bossy, sassy, slutty teenager.

Princess, the word rang in my head. Nate Carter called Bella Princess. Princess was the nickname I gave Bella when I first saw her. I was the first to ever call her that. Now I think of it, I do remember seeing a picture of Bella and that Mexican girl when they were little. Is that why Bella goes by Princess? Did she cling to that name because I called her that? Because I was never around and she felt neglected?

I'm not stupid. I've seen Bella, firsthand present signals of daddy's issues. What would be different if I had gone after Renee? Or if I had forced a custody hearing for Bella's living arrangements? Is that it? Does Bella blame me for any mistake Renee made on her?

I should have been around more. I should have fought for her. I know I could have tried harder with Renee, but it's just, everything with Renee was such a battle. She never wanted me to be around Bella but at one point I heard from Jack, Bella's grandfather, that Bella had been living with them for a while.

Why did no one call me? I knew the answer to that. Bella was angry at me and thought I had deserted her. But for her to make up some twisted notion in her head that I resented her because of her mother? That's ridiculous. I resented Renee from not letting me in Bella's life. It wasn't fair to me that Renee controlled everyone in my relationship with my daughter. It was insanity.

No, that's not insanity. Insanity is hearing your little girl tell you she hates you. Insanity is when she thinks _you_ don't like _her_. Insanity is when she feels I rejected her all these years. And I can only blame myself for that one. Bella believes what she believes because of my actions or non-actions. They are what not only contributed it her behavior but probably is the motivation behind her behavior.

My daughter is smart though. She has Edward eating out of the palm of her hand. He really believes everything she tells him. And stubborn. She refuses to give up on her twisted little story.

It's absolutely impossible.

Bella having a baby? That's nuts. She couldn't actually have had a baby at sixteen, could she? I mean, I wasn't around...Renee sure as hell had a lot of men in her life...She couldn't have possibly been there for Bella, all the time...and her grandparents had passed away by then...But Renee never mentioned a boyfriend...Was that on purpose?...Did they not want me to know...Well, I wasn't exactly there was I?...Maybe I need to call Renee...

I sighed, looking at my only daughter. "Baby, how much I wish I could see inside your stubborn little head." I whispered, stroking her hair. I turned and walked out the door, down the hall and dialed Renee's number into the phone and waited for her to pick up.

**AN: I'm gonna start writing when this is posted but review only help :P**


	35. Chapter 34: Bad Day

**AN: Okay so I've been trying to finish this chapter for a long time but I've just not had the time or I've not been in the mood. (I know, crappy excuse.) But this is 26 pages on a word document so I'd feel loved if I was you :)**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing, yeah yeah, the usual.**

Sunday night, I went to sleep, not expecting anything weird. But sometime in the night, my dreams came. It was after I heard someone talking, in the distance. It came later, while I was wrapped securely in Edward's arms. That much is definite.

In my dream, it was a week after Novalee was born and we were taking her home. She was so perfect. I walked in, I made sure she was feed and then I put her down for a nap. After that, I came downstairs to see Nate sitting on the couch, exhausted, with Renee in the kitchen, on the phone, while Phil looked over the hospital bill, with his check book out on the kitchen counter. Nate and I attempted to watch a movie on TV but we both ended up falling asleep.

The next place my dream went was Renee sniffling while shaking me gently awake. I was still lying against Nate but my eyes were red and bloodshot and wet. Nate's were identical. It was the morning of Novalee's funeral.

I stopped dreaming then and welcomed the black, blank, dreamless sleep. I woke up on Monday, to Edward pulling me out of bed. I groaned. "I don't want to go to school," I whined as Edward chuckled, leading me over to pick out my outfit for the day. I grabbed a pair of white colored jean short shorts with a gold buttons and a white halter-top that exposed the bottom portion of my tummy. Edward tried to disguise his laugh as a cough. I glared. "Something wrong?" I asked, snotty.

"Your underwear is black, love." Edward said, smiling. I rolled my eyes. "I'll just go get your hair stuff ready." Edward said, looking apprehensive.

After I changed and was walking into the bathroom, Edward was waiting for me. He still looked unsure of himself. I looked at him expectantly. "Something you want to talk about, honey?" I asked Edward, though my voice wasn't much nicer.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, still looking at me, weirdly.

"Yes." I said evenly. "I'm just not in a good mood." I didn't tell him it was because of my dream. Edward mumbled something under his breath. I sighed, "Sorry," I said and meant it.

Edward ran his hand through my hair. "It's quite alright," He leaned in and kissed the side of my head. I smiled, smally.

Edward stood and watched me, still fascinated to see the way I did my hair and make up. I straighten my hair, then ratted part of it, and pulled it up into a giant bump that consisted of most of the front of my hair. After that I put on a bunch of make up and eyeliner, then Edward helped me put in white gold studded hoops, that were actually pretty heavy, and a matching belly button ring.

"Sorry about being a bitch." I said, more sincerely this time. It wasn't his fault I was having flashbacks lately.

"You're never a bitch, Bella." Edward replied, sternly. "Sometimes a little unreasonable, irrational, even stubborn and hard headed but never anything close to a bitch." Edward shot me my favorite crooked smile. I wrapped my arms around his neck, standing on my toes. He leaned down to make up the height difference and his lips met mine. They connected for a few minutes, before Edward switched to my neck, which reminded me of my hicky. I screamed and jumped at the same time, shoving Edward away, fast and hard. "What's wrong?" Edward's eyes were on alert.

"I can't go to school with a hickey, Edward!" I yelled, immature like a child who just got her favorite toy stolen.

"I'll cover it up, love." He reached inside my make up bag and opened my compact mirror with powder inside. God, he could be such a guy sometimes! Didn't he know to use the heavy powder, not the thin stuff you use on your cheeks to even out your bronzer. I groaned but didn't comment at first as he started rubbing and patting my neck with the make up concealer.

Edward didn't look me in the eye but he looked scared by my tone. Did I seriously scare a vampire? "It's fine, Edward. I can do it." I yanked the compact out of his hand. Edward held on, so I pulled harder. "Let me do it!" I yelled.

He let go of it so abruptly I hit the back of my head on the wall. I heard a huge bang and then slid down to the ground. Edward just looked at me, unsure of what to do. He looked torn between offering me his help up or just letting me get up on my own.

I couldn't help it anymore and brought my hands up to my face as I started bawling with such a force that I knew it wasn't related to my head. Edward's arms were around me, rocking me, hushing me, kissing my temple, before I even think. I just kept sobbing.

I squeaked, incorhent. "I know, sweetheart. I know." Edward hugged me to his chest.

"How?" I asked, almost unable to understand myself. "How do you know?" Edward didn't respond. "How do you know what I'm upset about?" I asked, not fooling around. "HOW!" I screamed, pulling away from him, but yanking on his shirt.

"You talked in your sleep last night. More so than usual." Edward sheepishly admitted. That did me in. It was all it took for my entire floodgate to reopen and suddenly I was drowning in my own sorrows. Along with drowning Edward in them too.

Edward let me cry myself cry for a little while, just being patient and holding me. When I felt like I was done, or at least consoled enough, Edward helped me fix my running make up and my hair, then forge a doctor's note from Carlisle. We drove to school, an hour and half late. I didn't care that I'd have to make up my English homework.

Edward walked me to second period, kissing my forehead and watching me walk into the classroom. Mr. Vanter was talking in the back of the class, as I handed him my note from 'Carlisle'.

"Ooo, a doctor's note," Violet said "Looks like baby number two is coming." She looked at Malana, who was right next to her. "I wonder who the father is. Edward or Nate?" She giggled.

"Sorry, Violet, that spot on _16 and Pregnant_ is reserved for you." I said, sharply as I took my seat between Jess and Angela.

"Diss," Mike said.

"Bitch." Violet glared.

"The word was invented for you." I spat.

"Kids! Knock it off!" Mr. Vanter yelled at us, now in front of the room. "Violet, you have no right to just attack Bella like that." He lectured. "Bella, you don't need to one up her and fuel her up more." He stated, frustrated. "And Mike, for God's sake, don't encourage two girls who are fighting. You'll only make it so much worse and get yourself involved." Mr. Vanter still looked pissed. "Okay," He took a deep breath. "Let's get back to class now."

At the end of the period, I hurried to my locker. I didn't feel like getting into another physical fight today, not that I wouldn't give it all I got. Suddenly, there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned, half expecting to find some bitch waiting to be taken down.

"Miss me?" Aidenn's voice rang. I shrieked, so excited to see the kid who was practically extended family to me.

"Oh my gosh, Aidenn!" I threw my arms around him. He almost picked me up when he hugged me back. "God, how'd you get so tall!" He was like six foot now! For God sake, little Aidenn! For some reason I pictured my cousin Lucas, wondering how tall he was.

"Oh my god! Little Aids has finally hit puberty!" I exclaimed then laughed.

"Oh, when's Princess gonna start?" He teased back. I laughed and hugged him again.

"Slut," Lauren said as she walked by.

"What did you just call her!" Aidenn exclaimed, about to follow her.

"I'll get her later," I pulled him back, realizing it wasn't worth it to let Lauren get to me. This once at least.

"Oh my god! Princess?" A little voice exclaimed, loudly.

I pivoted to see Nate's youngest sibling, Claire, who was no older than fourteen. "Claire?" I smiled, brightly.

"PRINCESS!" She went running to me like a five year old on Christmas morning, launching herself in my arms. I laughed, as I hugged her back. After she pulled away, she spoke in typical Claire fashion. "O.M.G, I can't believe you're here. Nate was like never around after you left and then he'd always have these horrible, ugly, skanks with him and he reeked of beer and cigarettes. Oh my gosh! I'm so glad to have you around again! I missed you as much as I'd miss Summer or Juliannah if they left." Claire hugged me tightly again.

I laughed, again, joined by Aidenn who was right behind us. "You're still as cute as ever, Claire."

"Thanks, girly!" She exclaimed, happy. It didn't take much to make Claire happy. Summer was always content. Julianna was the peace maker in the family, always trying to make sure everything was in the perfect order and freaking out when it wasn't.

I laughed, as Nate walked up. Aidenn was the first to acknowledge him.

"Hey bro?" Aidenn greeted his brother.

"Hey?" Nate sounded unsure. "What's going on over here?" He asked.

"We're just catching up." I said, looking at Nate. Nate eyed Claire, like a time bomb.

"I better get to class." Aidenn said, walking the other way. "Nice to see you, Princess." He called over his shoulder.

Nate and Claire exchanged looks for moment. "I better go too." She said, hugging me. Nate kissed her bleach blonde head when she walked past him.

I pivoted to look at my ex. "What was that about?" I asked.

"Nothing, Princess." He mumbled. But there was something in his eyes. Something that I recognized. Something I had seen before. Something that I couldn't place.

"Tell me." I insisted.

"It was nothing!" He snapped, backing away.

"TELL ME!" I screamed, gripping his shirt. He looked pissed but I didn't let go.

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSSINESS!" He yelled right back.

"YOU _ARE _MY BUSSINESS!" I yelled, and then realized how the words slipped out. Nate looked taken back, but he still didn't respond. "FINE!" I yelled, letting go of him. "Fine, have it your way! Have fun being alone, soaking up your own misery."

"Have fun soaking up Edward's dick!" Nate yelled down the hall.

I stopped abruptly and turned around. Claire's words suddenly played in my head. _'Nate was like never around after you left and then he'd always have these horrible, ugly, skanks with him and he reeked of beer and cigarettes.' _They inspired my next words. _"You _are the one screwing every girl you can find!" For some reason I hoped these words weren't true. "I'm sure they're great in bed." I snapped.

"At least they're not you!" Nate called back. It stung to have Nate insult me like this.

"Did you pressure them into it, like you did me!" I half shrieked.

"Like I had to pressure you!" Nate yelled. "You're the biggest slut I know."

"I HATE you!" I screamed, turning the hall.

"Same for me!" He yelled.

"You stupid, jackass, no good, arrogant, white trash, asshole!" I screamed over my shoulder.

Nate didn't respond for a moment. I heard him snicker or chuckled darkly. "You stupid bitch. You're such a trashy whore! I wonder how long before Edward gets as sick of you as I am."

It wasn't until that moment I realized there were a lot of kids watching us. I ran away for Nate and everyone else as fast as I could. Suddenly I was running into a wall. Except this wall caught me in their arms, kissed my head and dragged me back to where Nate was. A lot of kids had left but a few stuck around.

Edward had me buried in this side but I'd have to be deaf not to hear his voice exploding with fury. "IF YOU EER SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO HER AGAIN, SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL KILL YOU!" Edward yelled. Nate didn't respond so Edward must have scared him. I head Edward snap, "Do. Not. Touch. Her."

Edward towed me to my next class. "You okay, Bells?" Edward asked, as I unwrapped myself from him.

I nodded, "Thanks for sticking up for me."

"I'm your boyfriend. It's my job and I should have said something a long time ago."

"I don't blame you for any of this." I said, automatically.

"Maybe you should." Edward mumbled.

"I don't." I snapped again. I sighed. "Sorry."

"You're cute when you're angry." He flirted.

"Nate and half the student body just saw me real adorable then." Edward kissed me once and then went into class before me.

I sighed, walking in after him. I took my seat next to Edward. Lauren suddenly appeared in the room. "Hey Bella," She addressed me like we'd been friends forever.

"What?" I snapped.

"I just wanted to say sorry you're not good enough for Nate, anymore. I guess he moved on to bigger and better things." She came all the way in here to make fun of me! How pathetic, even for Lauren.

"Obviously not you," I said loudly. "Nate can't stand the sight of you." I heard Mike and Austin snicker.

"He can't stand the sight of _you,_" Lauren giggled, even though the only person to join her was Dani in the back who must hate me too. I've never spoken to her.

I stood up. "Why you little, scum sucking rodent." I was ready to slap her when Edward my waist.

"Not in the middle of class, love." He said, low and directive in my ear. I was still ready to pounce.

"Slut." Lauren spat at me.

"Ugly ass bitch!" I screamed.

"Can you two just shut up!" Russell, this boy I've never taken for a talker, yelled at us.

"Stop yelling at Bella!" Edward yelled back at him.

He reconciled. "Okay, fine then. Lauren you don't have this class. Get out." He ordered.

Lauren was about to say something when Edward and me both interrupted her. "Get out!"

"Oh great, more drama." I heard Ms. Goff say as she entered the room. "Lauren leave or I'll send you to the principal." I buried my face in my hands and groaned. Ms. Goff walked up to the front of the classroom and began speaking. I didn't bother listening and before I knew it, Edward was towing my out of the room, over an hour later.

Alice walked on Edward's other side. I was almost surprised. I hadn't noticed her coming to class. We were halfway through the school, to the cafeteria, when I slowed down. I wasn't hungry and my fight with Nate had left a few knots in my tummy.

The more I thought about it the more it bothered me.

How could he! He wasn't supposed to get a bunch of new girlfriends in the snap of his fingers. It wasn't fair. I thought it would at least take some time. Move on and explore a little. But no! No, he had to screw the first girl he could find. Oh. My. God. What if he got one of them pregnant? I don't know what I'd do. Kill him? For what? Moving on, when I had done the same?

But it was different. I loved Edward with all my heart. Nate was sleeping with random girls. Like I never existed. Like I never mattered. Like I was irrelevant.

The very thought made my stomach turn in a uncomfortable way.

"Can you take me home." I said, completely stopping.

Alice gave me a quizzical look but Edward merely nodded. "Alice," He addressed her. "Go get us excused and get Bella's homework for the night. I'm going to take her home," Edward stated. Alice didn't say anything but walked to the office in the opposite direction.

Edward pulled my forward, tucking me under his arm. "You okay, sweetheart?" He asked, concerned.

I nodded. "You seem to have expected me to want to leave." I said, giving him a weird look.

"I figured you'd need a break eventually and you've had a hell of a day." He pulled open the passenger seat to his car and buckled me in. He drove at his usual 100 miles per hour. I unbuckled myself and laid in the fetal position, my head on Edward's thigh. He stroked my hair.

We were to the Cullens' in only a few minutes. Edward held my hand, pulling me inside the mansion where Rosalie and Emmett were walking out the garage door, Jasper was playing himself at Chess and Carlisle and Esme were nowhere to be found.

Edward walked us over to the couch, where he plopped down, in the living room, a few feet away from Jasper. "What do you want to do today?" Edward asked, playing with my hair.

I shrugged. "I feel sorta sick." I confessed. Edward's expression change completely. He became worried and anxious. I was about to tell him to calm down and that I only felt bad because I was upset. More than upset. I felt like Nate had run over me with a truck. I felt damaged. And I felt vulnerable.

Something I hate being.

I wrapped my arm around his neck as I climbed onto his lap.

Edward rubbed my back, soothingly, as I buried my head in his neck. "What hurts?" He asked almost immediately. _My feelings_, I thought.

"Nothing, just my head and I'm tired and have a runny nose." I explained. Runny nose was from wanting to cry. I didn't feel the need to mention this to Edward.

"Gross, too much said there, Bella." Emmett called from the garage.

Ignoring him, Edward reached over and yanked the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around me. He ran his hands up and down, attempting to warm me up, while I snuggled closer into his chest.

He stroked my hair, gently. "Try to sleep it off, love." He suggested.

A few hours later, I heard the door slam, causing me to jump. I bolted upright, wondering a second later why I was lying on the couch and not on Edward's lap. Emmett's booming laughter filled the house of vampires.

"Shut up, Emmett, poor kid's trying to sleep." Jasper playfully punched Emmett's arm.

Edward lifted me up, scooting under me and pulled me closer to him. "Do you feel any better?" Edward asked.

"Not really." I said, honestly. Sleeping didn't bring the relief I was hoping for.

Edward kissed my temple. "Are you hungry?" He asked. I shook my head. "At least drink water to stay hydrated." He insisted.

"Edward, I'm not dying here!" I exclaimed.

"I'm aware." He said, curtly.

"Then stop overreacting," I ordered. "Where were you when I woke up?" I asked. Edward shrugged, the thing he did when he was avoiding questions. "Edward!" I exclaimed. He didn't say anything. "Edward." I said in a deeper voice that came out funnier than I wanted. Emmett and even Jasper laughed at whatever I just did to my voice.

Edward chuckled. "I was talking to Carlisle." He answer finally.

"Isn't he at work?" I asked.

"Yes. I called him."

"Why?"

"To look at you." He said sheepishly.

"EDWARD!" I yelled.

"Damn it, Bella. Give me a freaking warning before you start screaming!" Emmett growled.

I rolled my eyes but otherwise ignored him. "Why?" I asked, looking at my vampire boyfriend.

"Because you don't feel good." He said it like it should have been obvious.

"So!" I freaked, sitting upright in his arms. I looked into his concerned eyes. "I'm sorry, hun." I said immediately. He was only concerned for being well-being.

Edward didn't respond, but wrapped his arm around me, hugging me tighter to him.

"I'm going to go take a shower and clean up, okay?" I asked, kissing his cheek, leaving some of my spit there on purpose. He chuckled, patting my bottom to signal me to stand.

Edward and Jasper went downstairs with Emmett trailing along the back. When I got upstairs, inside the bathroom was two fluffy purple towels and a halter dress with matching underwear and push up bra. "Alice," I mumbled, for once smiling while doing so.

Once I was shower and clean I came downstairs, with a towel for my dripping wet hair, to see Edward talking to Emmett. He turned around to see me and smiled. I sat on his lap, without thinking.

"Hey, Jelly Belly." Emmett grinned huge.

I groaned, as did Edward. I turned to look at him, but he was looking annoyed at Emmett.

"Em, the last thing she needs is a new nickname. I can barely keep up the ones she already has." He said exasperated. I fought laughter at how frustrated he sounded.

"That was Edward talk for 'I'm gonna suck all fun out of my brother's life'" I giggled even though it wasn't that funny. "We both know why he's grumpy, Bella." Emmett winked at me. "Because he isn't getting any, right?" Emmett teased. I glared at my big brother figure.

"Why do you care about my and Edward's sex life?" I asked, curtly as Edward grabbed my forgotten towel and started to dry my hair.

"I've been wanting Edward to get laid for the last six decades." He said seriously. "Throw him a bone. Or at least let him throw you-"

"That's enough, Emmett," I heard Esme call.

"Emmett, I need help!" Rosalie called.

Was everyone listening in? I sighed, feeling a headache coming on. God, maybe I was really sick. Edward stayed silent as he dried my hair and brushed it. He didn't want to push me. Or maybe he was afraid of me. God knows my mother was. I don't know if she still is.

Charlie probably never comprehended the fact that my mother was never trying to push him out of my life. She just didn't want to admit to my dad that I scared the hell out of her. According to my friends and acquaintances, I was the exact definition of wild child. I did everything someone would pray their kid never do.

I wondered if I scared Edward. Or Nate. Or Alice. Or any of my other friends. I just stared into space for God knows how long. I wondered what Jacob would do if he found out. I was actually kind of curious if Charlie had told Billy. Would he?

Probably...

I sighed, still feeling like crap. I still felt like there was some big weight on me.

"Can I go upstairs?" I whispered.

"Do you need to lay down?" Edward hand went straight to my forehead, feeling my temperature.

"No. I-I-I I need to call Cooococo" I could barely manage the words. Edward put his hands on either side of my head.

"Bella, are you okay?" I didn't answer, as I trailed up the stairs. I got to Edward's room at the end of the hall and climbed into the giant bed he bought for me. On the pillow was my cell phone. I shook my head. I hadn't seen Alice much today but she seemed to know what I was going to do.

I reached for it and dial her number with shaky hands. "Princess?"

"Hey," I didn't know why my voice was shaky.

"What's wrong, Loca?" She asked, after hearing me. Why does everyone freak every time I talk, nowadays!

"Nothing, it's just..." I trailed off, hoping she would get the hint. She did.

"You had a fight with Nate." She said softly and knowingly. Of course Francia would know. She spent the better part of some days skipping school with me or coming over on weekends to comfort me when Nate said something that upset me.

"I didn't mean to be so mean. I mean, well, he started it and I knew he was in a bad mood, so I have no idea why I pressed it. But he became such an ass and I couldn't take it. And I...I-I and then he-he called me a trashy slut and I got pissed and upset and left school and I don't know. I fell asleep at Edward's but I still feel like shit!" I cried.

Francia sighed. "Tell Nate he's a jerk. Tell him that's wrong. Tell him he's right. But for God's sake, go over to his house and talk, yell, scream, throw things at him. Just don't sit around and cry because it isn't worth your tears."

"And how do I just waltz over there and say "I wanna continue this fight!" I exclaimed, my voice thick.

"You never had issue before."

"Well, I do now!"

"Princess, calm the hell down! God, you know what? You need Nate as much as you need Edward. Just like you need your parents. Stop being so self destructive and go fix it all."

"I can't, Coco! Don't you get it! I can't fix anything with Nate or my mom or daddy because I have too many issues!"

There was a pause. "Daddy?" Francia was smiling.

"Shut uppppppp," I groaned. "It slipped out, okay?" Francia laughed. "Oh my God! I called you to feel better, not make me cry harder."

"You can't call me to feel better!" She was still chuckling. "You can't call Ricky either, or Dustin or Millie or Mason." I was debating hanging up. "Just like you can't talk to Edward or Alice or Summer or those two whores in Rite Aid. Nate's the only one you can talk to and feel better."

"I don't think that's true." I said, slightly annoyed because I didn't think it was true. I _know _it's true. Francia repeated what I thought. "I _don't _know! I don't know anything! I'm fricken eighteen! And I'm having the crappiest day of my life since I moved here. Well, at least one of them."

"Talk. To. Nate." She said slowly. "You need him. You guys love each other." Before I could argue, she continued. "Yeah, yeah, I know, girly. You don't anymore or you found someone you love better. Don't get me wrong, Edward's great. He's everything you or any other girl would want. _But_"

"Here goes that freaking but," I muttered. She continued.

"But, it doesn't change your feelings for Nate. It shouldn't either. You need Nate to feel better. You know that."

"Yeah, I do." I sighed, giving in.

"I'm pretty sure you already knew that when you called. You just needed someone else to tell you." I nodded but she couldn't see.

"I'm gonna go." I said, mutely.

"Call me after you talk to Nate."

"I promise."

"Love you." She said sincerely.

"I know." I sighed, hanging up.

I walked out the bedroom door, but chickened out when I saw Edward talking to Alice at the bottom of the stairs. It was childish. I knew they could hear me, but I walked into the bathroom, and decided to kill time. I did my hair.

Girly much, I thought to myself.

I had it into a prefect bump on top of my head when I sighed. I knew I needed to go and hurry before it got too late. I walked down the stairs and saw Edward and Carlisle sitting on the couch.

"I'm going to Nate's." I said, but it sounded more like a warning.

"Okay, sweetheart." Edward said nonchalantly, still looking at Carlisle.

I leaned down and kissed his cheeks. "I love you." I said quietly. Edward kissed my hand, looking at me in the corner of his eye.

I took his Volvo, figuring he wouldn't mind. He didn't stop me so I just left. I didn't think much when I drove, figuring that it would only make me chicken out. Boy was I wrong.

When I got to Nate's house-which wasn't hard to find even though I've never been there before- I almost immediately chickened out. I put the car in reverse and hauled ass to my house. I knew it was stupid but I really didn't know how to face him. I ran upstairs and put my head down on the desk.

I was scared to see Nate. And I didn't know why.

I sighed as I lifted my head. Someone had turned on my computer. I didn't see a reason to why Alice would, or Edward. Charlie probably. He was the only one who had actually access to my room when I wasn't home. Alice and Edward had to of snuck in.

But why would Charlie need my computer?

Then I saw why. The computer was opened to my email. Inside there was a new one from Renee.

_Dear Bella,_

_Honey, your father called me last night. He knows about Novalee now. I had no idea he even found out and he didn't tell me how, but Bella you need to fix it with your father. You guys shouldn't be fighting. Talk to him. Work it out. Don't pent up anger against him because in the end, you're the only one who's going to get hurt. Do you really want to hate your dad? Charlie is doing the best he can do. Give him a break._

_Love, _

_Mom_

I was fuming by the end. I ran down the stairs and jumped in the Volvo, slamming it into reverse and speeding down the street, hitting the eighty miles an hour mark.

Another car came barreling down the road and it wasn't until then I realized I was in the wrong lane. I swerved off the road, quickly and managed not to get hit. I couldn't handle it anymore as I slumped against my steering wheel. I started bawling so hard. I just cried and cried. I didn't care I was still driving as I pushed the gas peedle and drove to my destination at 20 miles per hour.

I actually intended on going back to the Cullens' but somehow my mind sent me here. I flung the door open and ran up the steps. I barely clicked in my mind that their house was semi nice. Not that they were trash but they were no country clubbers. Well, except Kayla, Nate's mom, who likes to go clubbing all the time, still feeding off the fact that her father owned dozens of country clubs and Taco Bells' that are now left to her brother.

I banged on the door, half expecting Nate to open and slam the door in my face. But the person who answered the door wasn't Nate at all.

"SUMMER!" I screamed, throwing my arms around her waist.

"Princess!" She squealed, hugging me back. In truth, she was only a few inches taller than me. But her boobs stuck out about two feet. Okay, not really but it seems like it sometimes.

She swung me back and forth, and then pulled back to look at me after a second. "You almost look the same as before..." She whispered but then trailed off.

"Before Novalee died."

She looked at me, guiltily. "I hate Ryann." She announced.

"It wasn't your fault." I said, quietly.

"Sweetie, have you been crying?" Summer asked, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah, she has. Our brother is a douche." Juliannah's voice rang down the stairs. Juliannah was about an inch taller than her sister. She hugged me as I hugged her back. "He's a jerk, don't worry. He's been crying too."

"He has?" I asked, astonished.

"Yeah, but the difference is you're a girl. You can cry. Nate's a pussy for crying." Juliannah laughed. Summer did too. I barely cracked a smile though.

"He's upstairs, you know. His room is the messy one. Like always." Summer told me.

I trudged slowly up the stairs, knowing what room was his. It had _Nat _sprayed across the door. I stopped and touched it. It looked so familiar.

_"Naty, help me up here!" I yelled._

_"Okay," Said a boy's voice that resembled him going through puburty. He wrapped one arm around the top of my thighs and the other hand rest on my waist. He lifted me with no problem. "What are you doing, Princess?" Nate asked._

_"I'm helping you redecorate." I exclaimed. "Masy, hand me that spray can."_

_"What color?" Mason asked._

_"Pink, duh!" I exclaimed like it was obvious._

_He looked at me weird. "Why?"_

_"Cause I can!"_

_"You're nuts, Isabel."_

_"But you love me anyway" I stated, matter of factly._

_"Yeah yeah," Mason rolled his eyes._

_"I love you!" Nate said from below me. I giggled, throwing me off balance. Nate caught me by grabbing my ass. _

_"Nah, he's just trying to cop a feel, LTK." Ryann said, coming up the stairs. _

_"Leave!" Nate said annoyed by his oldest brother. _

_"Make me, half ass." Nate almost lunged but remembered I was in his arms._

_"What? Is Elle not screwing you!" Nate griped._

_"Hey! At least I'm not looking up a thirteen year olds skirt!" _

_"He's thirteen too, FYI." Mason said quietly from the corner. _

_"Ryann, leave, we don't want you around, when your, like, stoned." I said, trying to keep the peace between brothers. Ryann rolled his eyes._

_"Anything for LTK." Ryann teased, walking past us. _

_"Back to business." I stated, trying to move on. Nate's hand hadn't moved._

_Mason noticed this too, "How's it feel there, Nate?" _

_"Pretty good. But I'm not sharing." He teased. _

_"Possessive much?" I asked, shaking the can of hairspray._

_"Okay, hurry this up, babe, I don't got forever." Nate said, impatient._

_"Loser." I said, teasing. I sprayed an N on the door. _

_"Wait! You're writing my name?" Nate asked, confused._

_"Whatcha think I was writing? Japanese?" I asked, spraying a crappy a. _

_Mason laughed. "Nate's forever gonna have a pink door."_

_Nate groaned. "No, retard! He's gonna have pink letters! Get it right, May May!" I defended, writing a t._

_"You better be writing an E," Nate warned as I prepared to write a y._

_"Nope." I popped._

_"Yes!"_

_"Naw, I don't feel like it." I shrugged, which was kinda hard from up here._

_"Princess!" Nate exclaimed, as I got ready, dramatically, to write a y. Before I could though, Nate flipped me backwards over his shoulders. So I ended up spray-painting him instead._

_"Hey! I gonna write something!" I whined. _

_"Nope." Nate said. I kicked Nate in chest, causing him to fall backward. I managed to flip on my back before Nate crushed me. _

_"Just for that..." I sprayed his chin. _

_"Oh, it's on, girl." Nate grabbed me by the waist and sprayed my shirt with green. I sprayed his hair pink while he sprayed my hair hot pink then he realized it was already hot pink, at least at the tips. So he, in typical guy fashion, sprayed my tits pink. _

_We continued this until my hair was pinker than before, my legs were green, my boobs were pink, my skirt was blue and my face was multi colored, along with Nate's red face, yellow t-shirt, slightly pink hair, dark blue neck and orange pants, specifically in his manly areas. _

_Mason was cracking up in the corner, as he recieved the mishot of our spray cans._

_"You guys are losers." Short little, eleven-year-old Aidenn rolled his eyes, walking up the stairs._

My head snapped back into reality. I sighed, pushing the door open. "You got your door shipped here from Phoenix?" I asked, for some reason. Nate was sitting on his bed with his head down.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, not looking up.

I bit my lip, unsure of what to say. What was I doing here? He obviously hated me. I didn't move though.

"Are you going to answer me!" Nate yelled, looking up. His whole expression changed in a second. "Princess..." He whispered, extending a hand towards me but didn't touch me.

"ARE YOU JUST GOING TO STAND THERE LIKE A JACKASS! ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO TALK! I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING REASSURENCE!" I blew.

"THEH WHAT THE HELL DO YOU NEED!" He screamed right back, into my face.

"I DON'T KNOW!" And then I fell forwards, expecting to hit the ground. Nate caught me, though. I shoved him away. "Don't touch me!" I yelled but my voice broke and turned into a whisper at the end.

Nate looked up. "What do you want from me!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. I wasn't sure he was talking to me until he got right up in my face.

"Why don't you tell me!" I yelled.

"Princess!" He yelled. I don't know why but that set me off.

"Why don't you just hit me? We both know it's what you want to do!" I screamed. Before he could respond, I turned my cheek for easy access. I put my finger on it. "Right there." I said calmly.

"Really, Isabel?" He was still yelling.

"Not freaking duh, really!" I yelled, "Right there. It's open for you." Nate shook his head and rolled his eyes like I was nuts. "FUCKING HIT ME!" I screamed.

"NOT MATTER HOW PISSED I AM AND WHAT I SAY, I'LL NEVER, EVER! HIT YOU!" Nate screeched.

I shook my head. Why was he being so difficult? I lunged at him, knocking his to the floor. "YOU BASTARD!" I screamed as I started punching his chest. I just kept on hitting and hitting until my fists got tired. "YOU GO TO HELL!" I yelled.

"_I WAS BORN IN HELL_!" Nate yelled, his voice breaking like he was going through puberty again.

My punches slowed as my tears sped. Nate grabbed my hands restraining me from hitting him again. When he did so, I just collapsed. I completely lost it. I fell forward and started bawling with a force I hadn't done since I found out my child died.

It's like whenever I feel like I can't cry harder, I find a way.

Nate sat up, his back against the bed, while I straddled his lap, crying into his shoulder.

"I...hate you. I hate you. I-I-I hhaaaate youuuuu soooo mmmuuuchh." I sobbed. No, I thought. I hate me.

"I hate me too." Nate whispered.

"No." I cried. "No, you don't. I hate myself. I hate meeee," I squeaked

Nate laughed, somewhat. "Make up your mind, Princess."

"I hate myself." I whispered.

He shook his head as he pulled me around, so I was facing the same direction as him. "I'm sorry, Princess. I really am. I am a jackass-"

"Douche bag." I corrected

"Whatever you call it, I'm it." Nate stated. He ran his hand through my hair. "Why do you put up with me anyway? I would have left the second we started fighting."

I sighed. "Why do you put up with me?" I asked.

"That's not answering my question."

"I don't know." I said quietly. "Sometimes it seems like I deserve it. Other times it seems like you're asking for it. When we were younger it had more to do with my mind set."

"Your mind set?" Nate asked.

I shrugged. "Negative attention was better than nothing else and all I wanted was to be noticed."

"You still do." Nate pointed out.

"Not really." I said, thinking nothing of it.

"Yes. You do." I strained my neck to look up at him. He already knew what I was asking. "The way you dress now, the way you act. It's so _you _but it is for attention."

"Not true, Nate. It's too piss off the other kids at school and give myself a confidence booster."

"Princess, you want people to notice you because you feel like if you don't do something drastic you'll be as invisible to every one as you are to your father." Nate pointed out. I repressed a sigh. He was right.

"You know me too well." I mumbled. Nate shook his head.

"You know me too well too. Which is why we put up with each other. We understand each other. We don't have to read each other's mind to know what the other ones thinking and we have a connection no one can break." He was babbling to himself.

I leaned closer to Nate. "I know." I sighed, thinking. "When I'm around you, I don't have the same barriers as I do with other people." including Edward.

"Same."

We sat there on the floor, me not bothering to fix the fact that my face was a blotchy red or that I was sitting on Nate's lap with my legs spread open across the floor and I was only wearing a short dress. It's not like Nate didn't already know me.

A while later there was a knock on the door.

"What?" Nate barked, causing me to jump out of my daze.

"Sorry, bro but I was wondering if you guys wanted to come down stairs." Aidenn asked, entering to room. Then he saw me, "Did you make her cry?" Aidenn asked Nate. Nate rolled his eyes while I rubbed my face, surprised to see tears still coming down.

Nate noticed this too. "Hey, Isabel, why are you still crying?" Nate asked, softly.

"I had a really bad day."

"So it isn't my retard brother?" Aidenn asked. I laughed something throaty.

"He's only part of it." I teased, weakly. Nate half smiled.

"Okay, we're coming down. She needs some people interaction." Nate pointed to me while I hit him on the shoulder. He chuckled. I was surprised to realize that joking around with Nate-unlike when I hit Edward, while teasing-was painless.

Aidenn beat up down there, while Nate toed me, a necessity because I had unclear vision at the moment. Nate took a seat in his big comfy chair, only for me to realize there was no where else to sit. Nate didn't say anything as he pulled me across his lap. And I didn't say anything as I snuggled closer.

"Aren't you two cute?" Summer teased. I rolled my eyes but missed Nate's reaction.

"It's not like they've never done it before." Commented Juliannah

"Yeah yeah, I've seen the guys you girls bring home and the things you do with them." Nate said right back.

They all laughed. "God, this reminds me when I was younger and first met Bella." Claire sighed.

I laughed. "You were coloring and eating apple sauce, Claire." I recalled.

"And you were wearing a black mini skirt and a belly shirt."

"No!" I exclaimed

"Yes!" She said back.

"I was wearing a halter top. There's a difference." I defended. Claire laughed.

"Yeah, I remember that too. It was the day Ryann stole that car." Juliannah added.

"And then mom just kept on shrieking for three days." Aidenn mumbled.

"And we didn't see daddy for a seven hours." Summer chimed.

"All because a really crappy brother." Claire said under her breath.

"I know! I can't believe he's out of pris-" Juliannah slapped Aidenn to shut up.

"Ryann's out of prison?" I said, blankly. The bastard who killed my daughter was out of prison?

"He broke out." Nate said nonchalantly.

"Why?" I yelled, my head snapping back to Nate, examining his face. I saw his eyes first. They were the same as at school today. The only difference being, this time I recognized the look in his eyes.

He had the same look when he found out I was pregnant. The same look when he found out his brother was the driver of the car that hit us.

"The police are suspecting Elle helped him." Juliannah informed.

"Where is he?" I asked quietly now.

"We don't know. And nobody has a lead on him." Summer stated.

"Can we just change the subject?" Nate asked.

"Why?" Aidenn asked

"Because I don't like talking about our brother." Nate squeezed his eyes shut. "After everything he's done, all I want is to forget." He mumbled, softly.

I knew the feeling. It consumed you to the point that you don't care who your with or what you do, as long as it makes you forget.

Once again, Claire's words, and now Lauren's too, flashed through my head. …_then he'd always have these horrible, ugly, skanks with him _and ..._you're not good enough for Nate, anymore. I guess he moved on..._

Nate had moved on in Phoenix. He had had sex with other girls. What had happened after I left?

"I better go, you guys," I said, standing up.

"You sure?" Aidenn asked.

"Yeah. I got things I got to take care of." I said lamely.

"Come back soon," Juliannah made me promise.

"Of course," I leaned over and gave her a hug.

"I'll walk you to your boyfriend's car." Nate stood up to. How'd he know I drove the Volvo over here? "I was watching out the window when you showed up." Nate admitted like he was reading my mind.

"You knew I was coming." I stated.

"Coco kinda texted me and gave me a heads up." He shrugged. I rolled my eyes. Should have known Francia would be all over this. "Let's take the back way out." He suggested.

I walked faster than Nate on the way out. "Bella, slow down." I didn't.

"Why?" I asked, curtly, realizing that the back way out was really long.

"Because I wanna talk." He said, desperate.

"Why do you want to talk?" I asked, throwing my hands in the air, sounding somewhat like I was trying to laugh it off. "Seriously, everything's fine." I said, not even bothering to sound anything but fake.

"No, it's not. Not when you're mad at me." Nate said, trying to catch up to me.

"Seriously, Nate. I don't know why you keep saying that. I'm not mad."

"Yes, you are. I get this vibe off you when you're mad and you are right now."

"What the hell does that even mean, besides you're nuts, Naty." I pivoted before I could think. Reflex reaction.

Nate came to an abrupt stop when he reached me. "Did Lauren or Jessica or one of those other stupid girls at school say something?" Nate asked.

"I thought I was a worthless whore to you?" I said, coldly.

"Oh my god! I said I was sorry!" Nate exclaimed

"Oh and that just makes it all better, doesn't it, Nate?" I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air. I turned back around and started to fast walk away.

"Bella, wait!" Nate yelled, finally catching up to me, grabbing me by the waist and lift me off the ground.

"Let me go!" I yelled.

"I'm sorry! I'm a douche! What can I do about it!" He asked. I kicked but he still didn't put me down. "Why are you so angry at me?" Nate asked, aggravated. "And don't say crap like 'I'm not mad at you' because I know you are. I can tell by the way your stomping."

I finally broke free, but he probably just let me go. I turned to glare at him but only realized one thing. I couldn't. I couldn't be angry when I moved on too. But I still didn't like it. It wasn't a matter that I couldn't be angry, because honestly I could. It was that I didn't have a right to be angry. I didn't own him. He didn't owe me anything. So why did it bother me so much?

"Did someone say something to you?" Nate asked.

I sighed, admitting the truth. "Claire said you used to sleep with other girls, after I left." I said sheepishly.

Nate looked at me, puzzled. "So?" He asked.

"So!" I looked up at him, shocked.

"Yeah?" He raised his eyebrow.

"You think you can sleep with other girls and it means nothing!" I exclaimed, knowing I was an idiot.

"Princess, what the hell are you talking about! I sleep with other girls, after you left, but that's just it. It was after you left!" He yelled, frustrated.

"Why are you even talking to me now? Did those other girls bore you? Did you want to try some small hick town and then put another notch in your belt and move on?" I yelled, pointedly.

"You're not even making sense!"

"Neither are you!" I fought back.

"Yes, I am!" This fight was obviously getting us nowhere.

"Shut up!" I screamed, not caring. The Carter siblings all knew how often me and Nate fight. They didn't have a reaction. They're used to fighting, for many reasons, but the top would probably be; Ryann and Tom.

"Why do you even care if I slept with other girls?" Nate threw his hands up in the air then brought them to his face.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" I shouted. Nate's head popped up at me.

"You do?" He asked, bewildered.

"You knew that," I spat.

"Yeah, I guess I did?" He smiled.

"I love Edward." I reminded. Nate chuckled and leaned forward, wrapping his arm around me.

"I'm sorry about before." He whispered. "I'm a prick, right?" He asked.

"Yep." I said, and tried and miserably failed at not smiling.

"I love you too, by the way," He said, walking us out in the Carters' backyard.

"Francia sucks." I said, remembering our conversation over the phone.

Nate laughed, "She knows you, that's for sure. Ricky does too. So does Tayl-Briee," He corrected himself. I tried to brush his slip up off.

"Same way Casey and Mason and Gwen know you," I reminded.

He laughed softly then sighed as I looked up at him. "I can't believe Claire told you about those other girls." He said.

"Don't be mad at her. She didn't know I was taking her words so seriously." I tried to defend his baby sister.

"Well maybe she should think before she speaks. Or before she does something stupid." I was shocked. Nate never said anything bad about his baby sister.

"Why are you mad at Claire?" I asked.

"Because of what she told you." He said like I should have guessed that.

"No. You're mad at her for other reasons. I know you, Nate. I know how you work. You bottle up all your anger then you find something small to blow it on."

Nate sighed. "I have reasons." He looked at me, stopping me before I could respond, with just one look. "The only reason I slept with other girls is because…" He trailed off.

"What is it, Naty?" I asked, as we stopped by a bench they had set up in their back yard.

"After you left, I couldn't feel anything. I felt like a burden on my family. I felt like scum at school. I felt out of place with my friends. But I didn't care at the time. I was too numb to even think. And soon enough I reminded myself of my father." Nate explained, looking at his hands. "I hated it. I hated everything and everyone. Everywhere I looked I saw a mother, father and a baby and all I could think was that should have been us." His voice broke. "I was trying to change myself before I became a useless drunk. I wanted to feel something again. So I started having sex with willing girls to see if any sparked something in me. The same thing you spark in me."

"Did you find anyone?" I asked, terrified of the answer.

"Nope. Nothing compares to you." He whispered. I wondered if I should have heard that.

"Is that why you were giving Claire funny looks in the hall today?" I asked, still pressing for details.

"Can we not talk about my sister right now!" Nate exclaimed.

"Nate, something is going on with you and it's weird. Tell me!" I whined. "Tell me. You tell me everything. I promise I'll help."

"You can't!" His voice was sharp.

I grabbed onto Nate's arm. "Try me." I said, surely. When he didn't answer for a few minutes, I got sick of staring at him, knowing I was pestering him. I turned my head in the opposite direction.

Nate sighed, looking up at the sky. "Claire's pregnant," He whispered.

My head whipped towards him. "What?" I breathed, unable to say anything any louder.

"It's why we moved here," Nate explained, without looking at me. "She didn't want to tell the father." I tried not to look condescending.

"Why? Is he a bad person?" I asked. Nate looked at his balled up fists, "His name is Indigo Shard. He's a football player..." Nate trailed off.

I smiled, smally, knowing how protective Nate could be of his sisters, but his youngest especially. "They were drunk and it was her first time. He wouldn't even look at her the next day. Claire came to me, crying because she didn't know what to do. And she figured I had experience in this area." He eyed me carefully. "I got expelled, Bella." Nate's voice cracked. I knew he was serious by calling me Bella.

"What?" I couldn't say much else.

"Me and Aidenn both did. We beat this guy up and told him to stay away from our sister. The next thing I know we're being held in a prison cell. It took twenty-two hours for our parents to realize we weren't home. And I can't even tell how long it took for our parents to realize where we were or even try to find us." I put my hand over Nate's.

"Naty..." I didn't know what to say.

He continued. "I did it on purpose. Beating the kid up. I really did. I wanted to get in trouble. I wanted my parents to be mad at me, so when Claire could tell them she was pregnant, well, they wouldn't be as mad at her." He looked at me. "Stupid logic, huh?"

"Or smart," I disagreed. "Depending on how you look at it." Nate chuckled but then sighed.

"I don't know what to do." He whispered. "She was thinking of any abortion," He eyed me in a way that told me he hated the idea. "Then she remembered you and couldn't do it." He smiled, grateful now, but it quickly slipped away. "The next night, Claire came to me and asked me a million questions. She's terrified and nobody else has experience. My parents have tried to be supportive be they've never had a pregnant daughter before. Only a screwy son who got someone else's daughter pregnant. And after what happened there, they are walking on egg shells." He babbled. I looked at him, unsure for the first time around Nate, of what to say. "My dad didn't even get drunk for a whole three days. And my mom started saving extra money. But everything is so silent!" Nate exclaimed. "Everything is going wrong." He whispered. He looked at me and I realized he was tearing up. He shook his head, looking at me. "Summer has her life in a ditch and is going no where. She's a high school drop out, from the time she was fifteen. Julianna is another invisible child, who has dyslexia but won't admit it. Aidenn is trying to follow in my footsteps and I found condoms, alcohol, and drugs in his room the other week. Now Claire's pregnant. Oh, and we can't forget my wonderful big brother, Ryann Jaydon Carter. He's an addict who's now doing hard time after murdering my child." Nate's voice trembled. "And all I can do is sit around and be selfish." Nate sighed, looking away from the setting sun. He wiped a tear from my cheek, I hadn't known had fallen. "I'm sorry." He apologized. "I'm dumping all my issues on you."

I laughed out loud, "Please. If there's anyone who understands family drama, it's me. And you always listen to me when I need to vent. It's always been that way with us, Naty. That's never going to change." I explained. I grabbed Nate's hand as he sat down on the lawn chair. "What do you mean you're being selfish?" I asked.

Nate looked down at his lap. "Ever since you got pregnant, my parents focused on me. My dad stopped drinking for a while, even. For the first time, I mattered in my house." He sighed. "Now, my baby sister is pregnant at a younger age than you and my parents are obsessing over her. And I'm exactly where I was before." I swear I saw something wet fall from his cheek but I'd never embarrass him enough to mention it.

"What were you before?" I asked, softly, putting my hand to his cheek, without thinking.

"Invisible." He whispered. Nate was breaking my heart. I sighed, deeply, feeling for Nate, as I climbed on his lap, cuddling him.

"You were never invisible to me." I whispered back, making him look me in the eye.

"You left, without a seconds hesitation." Nate accused, his voice cracking. "I had no one." I wasn't supposed to hear the last part, I'm sure.

"I won't do it again, Nate." I felt my own tears spill over. "I promise."

Nate just looked at me. "Good," He nodded, still crying, "You're all I have. If I even still do." I laid my head on his chest, loving the pounding feeling I always got from the beating of his heart.

"You'll always have me, babe. I promise."

**AN: Aww, just an FYI to anyone wondering who I like more or less, I can't decide between Edward and Nate. And Jacob but he;s not really part of this story :(. Anyways, tell me how you feel on the Nate/Bella relationship. And please vote on the poll on my profile. The ending of this story is dependent on that. And review :P**


	36. Chapter 35: Car Accidents

**AN: Happy almost New Years. I'm going to Seattle with my family so this is my last update of 2010! I just finished it, so I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, other than a few characters...:) **

After about another hour, I left the Carters' and drove to the Cullens' in Edward's volvo. Well at least I tried to drive to the Cullens'. I was driving down the road-a flat one, no less-when the car started acting up.

"What the hell?" I said, staring at the Volvo's windshield.

I pressed the gas pedal harder and harder. It didn't get any better. I groaned. The car wasn't going to go any faster than ten miles per hour. I pressed down harder again, and still nothing. I took an annoyed breath in and stepped on it, full throttle. The car made a squeaking noise.

Edward's perfect car was not working. It was really really pissing me off. How many times has Rosalie worked on it? Maybe she wasn't so perfect after all.

I was pondering these thoughts, aimlessly, when another car behind me, started tailgating me. It didn't seem to recognize that I couldn't go any faster no matter how much I tried. It started to speed up behind me. I still couldn't go any faster.

The car behind was really scaring me. It started to speed up again, trailing closer and closer to Edward's bumper. I completely freaked out. I started jumping on the pedal, practically. "Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!" I screamed, stomping on the pedal with every once of strength I had.

Without a warning my car jerked forward. Hard. Then it slammed harder. And harder. And even harder. The whole Volvo was shaking, forward and back, hurting my neck and giving me whiplash in such a way it could only mean one thing. I had just been hit.

And it wasn't an accident.

I screamed, a blood curtailing shriek, that wasn't able to be control. I felt my eyes fill up as every once of fiber in my body tried to push away the memory it triggered.

By the time I looked back to see who had hit me, they were gone. I was the only other car on the road so it was like there were any witnesses. I opened my door, wondering silently if I'd imagined the whole thing.

But the bumper was destroyed.

Six times. It had been hit, six different times, all over the bumper. I reached out to touch it, jerking my hand away, feeling the heat radiating off it. I looked around for anyone. A pedestrian, just happening by. A friendly car. Maybe the hit and run driver. But nobody was anywhere close to me.

I walked around to the front of the car, sobbing and frightened. And I knew why. My memory was shouting out to me, of the last time I'd been in a car accident. Not counting the time with Tyler's van. And suddenly I was there.

_I was in the passenger seat, driving away from the ice cream shop Renee worked at when I was little. Nate was driving Summer's car, or at least her old one, the one she didn't need anymore. I was blasting the radio to 94.5. Overprotected by Britney Spears came on. Novalee made a baby noise. It was a happy one so I kept it here._

"_Turn off that shit, Isabel." _

"_Don't swear in front of your daughter, Nathann." I scolded, though Novalee didn't mind. She was still beaming in a way only a baby could, I knew even though I wasn't looking at her._

_He snorted. "You do it all the time, babe." Nate said, rolling his eyes._

"_Two wrongs don't make a right." _

"_Only it's not wrong when you do it." _

"_What's wrong with you? You sitting on your dick or something?" _

"_Oh yeah, Princess, that's so much better to say in front of our baby." Nate rolled his eyes. _

"_Better than half the shit you say." I exclaimed._

"_There you go again!" _

"_Shut up!" I yelled, causing Novalee to cry. _

_Nate didn't notice his daughter. "Wow, didn't know your periods could came back so quickly after having a kid!"_

"_If you could remember your daughter's birthday, it was a month ago!" _

"_So!" _

"_Periods do come back that quickly, dumbass!" _

"_What have you been reading! Picture books!" _

"_At least I can read!" _

"_Oh please, Novalee is so gonna pass your IQ before she even goes to Kindergarden!" _

"_My daughter is already smarter than you!" _

"_Oh, so that's how it is! The second we fight, she's only your daughter!" _

"_When her father is being a retard, then yes!" I yelled. Novalee's yelling suddenly overpowered Nate and me. "See, look what you're done." I grumbled at Nate, before turning around in my seat to look at my baby._

"_The only thing I did was you." Nate said, speeding up._

"_Nova, it okay, baby. Daddy's just a jackass." I comforted, reaching out my hand. Her tiny hands wrapped around her fingers, putting them into her mouth. _

"_I'm sorry, doll. Mommy's on her period so she's just a tad bitchy right now." Nate said to Novalee. "Please excuse her, she's fussier than you." I leaned over and slapped his arm._

"_Ouch!" He yelled, waving his arm in the air._

"_Don't corrupt her."_

"_What do you think you were doing?" _

"_Pull over, Nate." I said, changing the subject._

"_Why?" _

"_Because I need to feed her," I said, unzipping my jacket._

"_In the car?"_

"_No, on the street corner!" _

"_Make sure to leave a tip jar." _

"_NATE!" My yell was louder than my daughters but not by much. She got mommy's volume!_

"_So your just gonna feed her in the car? Can't you wait for a rest stop or better yet, your house?" _

"_Jesus, Nate, like you've never seen my boobs before! You got me pregnant for God's sake!" _

"_Not so you could feed my daughter in the car, like white trash!" _

"_We are white trash!" _

"_We don't smell," Nate said. "I wouldn't have gotten you pregnant if you did"_

"_We've had sex after I got pregnant, Nate." _

"_Guess it's a good thing you don't smell."_

_I sighed. "Are you going to pull over?" _

_Nate paused. "These windows are not tinted, Princess." _

"_And?" _

"_What if someone sees you?" _

"_Then they see my tits." _

"_And you don't care?" Nate looked grossed out._

"_Nah, Nate. You know me. I'm so proud of my double D milk filled prego tits, I'm going to feed Novalee on hood of the car!" I exclaimed._

_Nate rolled his eyes. "Well, now I'm really not pulling over."_

I shoved the memory away, fast as it came, before I could get to the hard part. I picked up my phone, from wherever it was lying and dialed Nate's number without thinking.

"Hello?" His voice rang

"Come get me." My voice was broken.

"What's wrong, boo?"

"Just come get me!" I yelled, sobs heaving from my chest.

"Be right there." The line disconnected.

I looked up at the sky, wanting to be a cloud or sunray or a star-

Star. The word stung just to think, knowing what it represented to me. I realized that sting was the tears in my eyes, falling faster now.

Like lightening striking, Nate's truck skid to a stop, right behind the Volvo. I just now realized I hadn't been near his truck in the whole time Nate had been in Forks. And to think there were so many fond memories in that car. Like the time it broke down on the freeway. Or the time it had an oil leak in the parking lot of Fred Meyers. Or the time Nate and me drove it through Millie's garage door. It's hard to believe Nate bought it new.

Okay, so I did have good memories of the car. Like the many times Nate and me had sex in the seats of the car. I'm surprised people still sit it in.

Nate was examining the damage of the back bumper. Then he saw me. He raced over to me, lifting me into his arms. "What happened?"

"Someone kept on tailgating me, and my gas pedal wasn't working and then the car behind me rear ended me six times." I said into his shoulder.

"Six times?"

"Yeah,"

"What an dick. Where'd they go?" Nate looked around.

"It was a hit and run."

"You wanna tell your dad?"

"No." I almost laughed at the idea.

"Do you want me to," Nate offered.

"Would you?" I asked.

"I'm not afraid." He taunted.

"Give me a ride to the Cullens'." I said, climbing into his car.

Nate climbed in and started the thing up. "You're just gonna leave your boyfriend's car here."

"I'll get his sister to pick it up." I said nonchalantly.

"Wow, nice sister. Mine would never come get my truck." He said starting it up.

"Probably 'cause they know what we've done in here."

"Or what they've done in here."

I jumped. "EW!" I squealed.

"Calm down, Princess."

"You better be kidding!" I exclaimed.

"I am."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"You swear?"

"I swear."

"On your life?"

"You got it, Baby B." I blanched at the dreaded nickname the guys insisted on calling me.

"On your mom's life?"

"On mommy's life."

"On your dad's life?"

"Sure, why not."

"On your sister's life?"

"Of course."

"On Aidenn's life?" No way I was gonna mention Ryann.

"Duh."

"On any of our friends' lives?" Besides Taylor.

"I swear to God."

"That's not good." I said, but didn't let him respond. "What about on Lucas' life?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"On Meme's life?"

"Yeah."

"On Elle's life?" I had the urge to ask.

"Undecided." He said, without thinking.

"On my grandparents' lives?"

"They're dead."

"That's mean!"

"Sorry." He tried to grab my hand. I shook him off. "Of course on your grandparents' lives."

"On Charlie's life?"

"I guess."

"On Renee's life?"

"Yeah."

"Chad's?"

"Wouldn't dream of it." He knew it was the answer I wanted.

"On my aunts or uncles lives?"

"Yeah."

I held my breath as I asked this one. "On Ryann's life?"

Nate didn't respond for a solid minute. "Not. A. Chance."

"What about Lauren."

"Sure."

"Angela."

"Yeah."

"Jessica."

"Okay."

"Mike."

"Whatever."

"Me."

"Nah."

I gaped at him. "Just for that." I rested my feet on his dashboard.

"Get your feet off my dash." He swatted at me.

"Nope."

"Bella-"

"Don't Bella me."

"Shorty." He gave me a look.

"What!"

"Put your feet down!"

"Make me." I taunted.

"Gladly." He reached for my legs.

"NATE!" I screamed, making him jump back to the steering wheel.

"What the hell, Princess!"

"Sorry. You weren't looking. I didn't want to get in an accident."

"Yeah it'd be hard to explain to the police how we got into two accidents today."

"Probably. Charlie will blame me for this anyway."

"Why?"

"Because he blames me for everything."

"Like what?"

"Getting pregnant."

"Seriously, Princess. I doubt he even believes it."

I was stunned, looking back at Nate. "Wait, what?"

"Your dad probably doesn't believe us when we say you got pregnant." Nate shrugged.

"You really think so?"

"Yeah." Nate nodded, "Now would you take your feet off my dashboard."

"Not a chance."

"Your legs don't even reach. You have to bend in some funky position with your back."

"Not true!"

"I don't call you Shorty for no reason."

"Now you just killed your chances of me taking my feet off your dashboard."

"Ha Ha."

"I'm serious."

"I can see up your dress, you know."

"I know that new for you."

Nate just laughed. I mumbled something intelligible to even me, at first.

"What?"

Then I realized what I had just asked.

"Would you swear on Novalee's life?"

"I would throw myself off a cliff with man eating sharks at the bottom for our little girl."

We didn't say anything after that but he knew I felt the same.

When we arrived at the Cullens' Edward wasn't anywhere to be seen, but by the time I opened the door to Nate's truck, he was in front of me.

"I'm sorry." I said, throwing myself at him. Edward caught me and lifted me up.

"Why, sweetheart?" His eyebrows pushed together.

"Because I got your car wrecked."

"Bella, that car can be replaced. How are you?" He searched my eyes, seeing the fear there.

Then we realized we weren't alone.

"How did you know she was rear ended?" Nate asked, walking over to us.

"She called me first." Edward lied smoothly.

"Why didn't _you_ come get her?" Nate asked.

"He didn't have a car." I lied for him.

"Couldn't borrow one?" Nate motioned to the cars parked in the driveway.

"Does Summer or Julianna let you drive theirs?" I asked, coolly.

"Summer did once."

"Look how that turned out." I snapped.

Nate looked down. I bit my lip but didn't say anything.

"I'll see you guys at school," Nate said.

…

"A therapist?" Edward suggested, after I told him everything that had happened that day. I had wondered how to help myself control my grief.

"No!" My head, which was hanging downwards shot up. "Why the hell would I go to a therapist?"

"Because they're paid to help people with their grief…."

"I don't need no fuc-"

"It was a suggestion, Bella," Edward reminded me.

"And a really stupid one!"

"Are you feeling okay?" Edward asked, looking at me like I had three heads. I realized suddenly, this is how I talk to Nate, not Edward. Still…..it's really annoying to have to talk to two guys two different ways. It's like being two different people.

I'm starting to think this before Phoenix and Post Phoenix stuff is just based on my mood that day.

Still, it was _really_ annoying.

"I am feeling fine, Edward." I said, separating my words and not meeting eye contact.

Edward sighed, turning over to face me, on the edge of his bed. "Tell me why you have such a problem with therapists?"

"I just do."

"That's not reason."

"It is to me."

"Bella….." Edward groaned. I looked at him, but didn't say anything. "Do you know how badly I want to be able to see inside your head?" He asked.

"Well you can't."

"Why are you so snappy today?"

"Why do you ask so many questions!"

"I always ask you a huge amount of questions." Edward said, almost like he didn't know me.

I groaned, throwing myself backwards onto the bed and covered my eyes with my hands. "Charlie," I mumbled.

"Charlie?" Edward sounded shocked he was brought into this conversation.

"He saw a therapist after my mom left him. He told me that last year after you left me."

"Oh." Edward said, his hand running through my fanned out hair. "You don't have to see the same one, sweetheart."

"I know that," I exclaimed, throwing myself back up. "I just don't want to see one at all."

"I know you don't right now-" I turned and looked at him.

"Can you just drop it?" I asked, without much feeling. He knew I wasn't asking, I was telling.

He wasn't dropping it either.

"In my entire existence, I've learned the one of the few way to get over a trauma is to talk about it." Edward explained. "You wont talk to me, or Alice-"

"I talk to Nate." I said, quickly, only to realize a second later I probably shouldn't have.

Edward and me sat in silence for a long time, not facing each other. Finally he quietly said, "Go."

"Go?" I said, turning towards him.

"If you talking to Nate helps you, then go, find him. Because Bella there's only so much I can do!" Edward stood up and started to walk away.

"No, wait!" I yelled, jumping up as well.

I hadn't realized up to this point, Edward felt helpless around me. I was shutting him out, despite everything else.

But I loved him. That counted for something, right? In the back of my mind, I caught myself thinking what I had said to Nate earlier.

"_BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" I had shouted._

But then I remembered what else I had said, nearly after that.

"_I love Edward."_

If the situation were reversed, would I _have_ to clarify my love for Nate, to Edward?

I didn't know.

Edward had been staring at me all this time. "I'm sorry." I started. "I'm sorry I'm so hard to deal with."

Edward brought one hand up to his face, "You're not hard to deal with, Bella. You're hard to read."

"I don't try to be, I just am. I talk to Nate because Nate was there, he understands." I felt weird. Like I was selling Nate out to Edward. But if I said something like, 'Nate gets me and how I feel.' I would feel like I was acting like I liked Nate more than Edward. And I didn't. I just didn't know if I liked Edward more than Nate.

I sighed, looking back up at Edward. One thing was still clear to me though.

I loved him.

Edward and me must have been thinking the same thing because he opened his arms as soon as I got ready to run into them.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me to his level. "I love you."

"I love you too, Isabella. I love you too."

I wouldn't lose him.

But I wouldn't lose Nate either.

…

Over an hour later, I was lying on Edward's bed, in a Victoria Secret tank top and cropped yoga pants. Not particularly slutty but comfortable.

Edward and me spent the last hour talking over everything. We promised that if I opened up to him more, he'd stop bugging me so much about my past. Then we just talk about the car accident today and other, light topics.

Emmett came up five minutes ago, challenging Edward to a wrestling match, with Jasper in tow, who planned on taking on the winner. Edward didn't want to go, but I all but insisted he did. If I was going to ditch him to hang out with my friends (loose name for Nate, I know) then he could ditch me to play with his brothers.

I was content to just lying across Edward's bed, but his sister had other plans.

"Bella," she tugged on my arm. "Come on, I'm giving you a make over."

"Noooo." I whined. "I don't want one."

"Come on, Bella! Don't ruin my fun!"

"You're ruining mine."

"Bella, I have no memories of being a little girl, playing with Barbies. You do. Please have mercy on the less fortunate." She said, in a extra little voice, just to add to my sympathy.

"Wow, Alice…..No!" I really know how to beat around the bush.

"Bella, please!" She yelled back.

"No!"

"Come on!"

"God, Alice! All you need now is to stomp your foot!"

"I'll stomp it extra hard and knock you out of that damn bed."

"Don't make me come over there, you little short ass bit-"

At the moment Edward walked into his room. "You guys, we don't need fighting, okay."

"What were you just doing outside, _sweetheart_?" I asked unsweetly, with attitude.

"Real fighting." He clarified.

"Whatever." I mumbled in Alice's direction, as I pulled Edward down next to me and leaned against his arm.

"Bella-"

"What!"

"Calm. The. Hell. Down." Alice said, separated.

I looked at Edward. "What's her problem?" I asked him. The corners of his mouth twitched.

"Bella, you're always angry, nowadays." Alice pointed out.

"So!"

"Bella-"

"I lost a kid, Alice. I know you don't have a maternal bone in your body but the least you could do is respect mine." I would have stood up but Edward had his arm around my waist. Alice mumbled something at vampire speed. "What was that?"

"I said, You. Are. Resting. On. It."

"Don't talk to me like a mental patient. I did lose my kid." I stood up, Edward letting go of his hold. I got right up in her face. "I lost her, tragically. I didn't even get to say goodbye." It took me a minute to continue, when I was sure that my voice wouldn't break. "I don't need you policing my feelings and my emotions. You have no right to tell me I am resting on my baby's death because, guess what? Resting on it, is when I try to get free lunch because of it or to get better grade because of it, then you can say I am resting on it, but no other time, Alice. And if you had a brain cell left after your ninety years on earth, then maybe you'd know that too!"

"Angel-" I held up my hand, abruptly cutting Edward off.

"Edward, I'm fine. Go and spend time with your brothers. I'll be okay." I said. He looked at me hesitantly. "Go," I mouthed, then smiled as best I could.

He walked out backwards, keeping eye contact until he was gone.

After he was gone, but definitely not out of earshot I spoke back to Alice. "Listen, my life is hard enough. I don't need you making it any harder." I shoved past her.

"Bella, I don't know how we went from fighting over a make over to you telling me how hard you have it." Alice followed me.

"You're the one who said I was resting on my baby's death."

"You sure seem like it, sometimes."

"And what do you rest on, being a spoiled little bitch!"

I didn't have to look at her face to know I had hurt her. I knew it. But she had hurt me. So I couldn't regret my words. But I had to get away from her before I said something I _did_ regret.

I slammed the bathroom door, and pivoted, looking at myself in the mirror. I had already fixed my make up and pulled my hair into a side ponytail, when I changed before. For a moment, I want to reach out and touch my reflection.

I felt so different on the inside but on the out?… On the outside, I did look almost identical to before.

_February 3__rd__, 2005_

_I looked at my slightly wavy medium brown thick long hair that was only a shade darker than my eyes, totally sun bleached, my porcelain skin, my perfect pinkish red stained lips, my big chocolately brown eyes, highlighted by my pale peach eye shadow, thin black eyeliner and bold mascara. _

_Across the bathroom counter, just under the mirror was mine and Renee's hair products and perfume and spilled open make up bags. Being in the bathroom, you could just smell Hollister and Anchor Blue perfume, along with whatever cologne her last boyfriend was wearing. _

_Across the giant mirror, in Renee's cheap red lipstick, was LOOKS TO KILL. Ryann had come over to drop Nate off and needed to use the bathroom. He wrote that on the mirror while in here. Renee thought it was hilarious. I fought a smile at the familiar nickname. Looks to Kill._

_I took a step back and looked in the mirror, admiring my whole body now. I knew what Looks to Kill meant and why Ryann called me that. I had the body guys dreamed of doing. I knew it. It leaked out in every action, every word, everywhere. To be fair, I kinda provoked it sometimes, only after so many guys made comments. I glanced down at my body, clad in only a white push up bra and tight low-rise jeans, my tan stomach and pierced belly button, completely exposed. _

_Good thing Renee was gone with her friends, to drink the night away. She probably wouldn't be back until tomorrow. I was so used to it, I practically expected it now. I smiled to myself in the mirror, reminding myself why guys paid attention to me. _

_I was nothing more than a trophy thought, a hot girl they'd wish to sleep with but never want anything else from. Other than my friends, I hated every single guy on this planet. They all undressed me in their minds, made sexual innuendos to me, smiled at me. _

_And as for girls, most of them wished to be me. And the rest wanted me to disappear. I'm sure they all had their own fantasy for me too, only these daydreams were of me skipping of town, shoved off cliffs, just being gone, no matter what way. In some way-okay a lot of ways-I liked this better than some of the guys thoughts. _

_But it didn't matter. I had to deal with all them, people who hated me, who expected something from me, who were attracted to me. It didn't matter. I was expected to be perfect. Nobody gave me a day off._

It was hard to believe I was that little girl. The one who only wanted to go to parties, and have a boyfriend, fall in love and get married and then just leave the whole world all together. Okay, so maybe a lot of 8th grade girls had that dream, so maybe I wasn't so abnormal. But I felt like it.

I glanced back in the mirror, wondering if anything like the girl I saw when I looked in the mirror. The one I remember from Phoenix. The one from PV. I looked like her. A lot. But I wondered if I really was too different to ever act like that again.

It was then decided lying back down would be the best idea for me.

I sighed, as I curled up into a half ball on Edward's bed. I almost felt like going to sleep but then I realized I wasn't alone.

Alice looked at me, then smiled smally. I didn't bother returning it but scooted over on the bed. Alice laid down next to me.

"I'm sorry." Were the first words out of her mouth.

"Me too," I whispered almost inaudible.

"I didn't mean to be insensitive. I guess I just got pissed."

"Because I wouldn't let you give me a make over?"

"No, because… You actually stood up to me. I'm so used to push over Bella, who I love but you've always kind of been, in a figurative sense, the little sister I could knock around. I never expected you to stand up for yourself, to me and I overreacted. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I whispered, like a little girl. "I overreacted too."

"We are both ruled my our emotions," Alice smiled.

"This house is doomed."

"I know!" She laughed. "Between me, you, Rosalie and Edward…."

I immediately sobered, wanting to ask a question. "What do you think of me? Like the way I am now?" I asked.

Alice shrugged. "I like that you don't take crap from those disgusting girls anymore. And I like the way you dress too. I guess I just don't get it…." She trailed off.

"Don't get what?"

"What's the point? Why are you all of a sudden putting all this effort into showing off these pathetic teenagers?"

"I wanted attention."

"But you didn't before Nate moved to town?"

I sighed, explaining. "When Nate moved here, and everyone freaked when they thought we were sleeping together, I felt like my old self. I felt like I did when I got pregnant."

"What do you mean?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"When I got pregnant, it was like I didn't matter. Like everyone only cared about what inside of me. I've never felt so irrelevant. And that was exactly what it felt like when everyone thought I was sleeping with Nate. Like nothing else about me mattered. And then when everyone found out about Novalee and that she died, I might as well had a neon target stapled to my forehead. I suddenly became so visible. And I didn't want to be that girl who everyone saw as pathetic or an easy target or anything. I didn't want to be that sucky down Edward and Nate have to deal with because they have to. So I changed my attitude, wardrobe and everything to fix that

I explained. "All you want is to be unconditionally loved and feel like the most important person on the planet?" Alice asked.

I nodded, "That it exactly."

"What about your mom?"

"What about her?"

"I didn't want to ask with Francia here, but how come you're not as mad at her as you are at Charlie?"

"Because Charlie told the whole town about my kid, blamed me for it, neglected me for sixteen years of my life and treats me like crap."

"Your mom screwed you up pretty badly too."

"Well, I am angry at her too. I mean, I'm…" I trailed off, trying to fight my instincts in throwing a tantrum and telling Alice what I felt about _both_ my parents.

"It's okay, Bella. You can vent." Alice prompted.

That's all it took. "I'm just so freaking angry! All the time! I mean, she stops talking to me, stops thinking about me, stop caring about me, for an f-ing year and then she turns around and starts talking to me, emailing me, like we haven't missed a day. She _chose _Phil over me! She literally forgot about me." I sighed, heavily. "I guess I should be used to it. I've always been an afterthought in her and Charlie's minds. But for her to never call, email, or _anything_. And then the second she does it's so me and Charlie will make up so she doesn't have to deal with me. The only reason she's even paying any attention to me now, is Charlie is calling her and complaining about me. She doesn't understand how to deal with me any better than Charlie." I felt my voice breaking.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, quietly.

"She doesn't love me," I cried, sobs racking my body. "She doesn't _want _me. She never did. Neither does Charlie. I'm worthless. Pretty soon Edward won't want me either and then I'll be all alone except for Nate."

"Edward isn't going anywhere. Not again. And neither are the rest of us." She promised, hugging me. "And you're not worthless." She added.

"If I wasn't worthless, I wouldn't have two parents who are kicking themselves for ever letting a condom slip. Alice, I want different parents. I want a mother who takes care of me and pays attention to me and is there for me." I felt myself get lost in sobs. Alice brought my head to her neck. "I want a dad who is around for me, and treats me like a actual human being and not some kid he has a legal obligation to take care of! I want a dad who never forgets about me and never yells at me and holds me. I want _my _dad to love me. But I'll never have that, will I?"

…

After Alice and me were done talking, she went to find Jasper. I wondered around, for a few minutes, around the house to find Edward.

"Hey, Carlisle." I asked, in the kitchen, which I really don't understand why he was there. "Where's Edward?"

"Probably in the backyard."

"Thanks." I shoved past him.

"No problem, sweetie."

I ran outside, looking for my boyfriend. Edward turned as I stepped onto the grass. "Hey, Bella," he said as he shut his phone.

"Who were you calling?"

"Not important, love."

And for once, I let it go. I shift my weight from foot to foot, not sure how to tell him this.

"What wrong?" He suddenly became concerned.

"I wanna talk to you….."

"About,,,,," He prompted when I didn't continue.

"About….the car accident."

He was silent for a few seconds. "Didn't we already talk about the car accident earlier."

"Not that one….." I took a deep breath. "I want to talk about the one on November 13th…." I was silent for a whole minute. "The one that killed Novalee…"

**AN:Happy New Years, hope yours is amazing but before you go to your parties or whatever(And yes I'm fully aware New Years Eve is tomorrow) please click the review button and review. Please and thank you :D**


	37. Chapter 36: Photographs

**AN: Okay, so here's the thing, I know I don't always update (Hence, my six month leave last year) and I feel bad to my active readers, so I created a Facebook account that I'll be checking and posting all lot, that you can ask me questions on, or just post comments, if you wanted to but the purpose is so you can look at it and I'll tell you when I writing, if I'm sick or busy and can't write for a while or something, if I'm about to update, if I just updated or something like that. So I'll leave a link on my profile or you can look it up, under Bristol Smr Love. **

**BTW, it's a totally fake name. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

I sighed in contentment, to the feeling of ice cold lips on my cheek when I awoke on Tuesday morning. Edward chuckled. "I'm happy to see your in a better mood today."

"Don't jinx it," I mumbled still half asleep. I rolled over, watching Edward jump out of my window. I stared at the ceiling, glad for once, I had nothing on my mind.

I was happy that I could tell Edward about everything that had happened in that crash. Not just the crash itself but the aftermath too. It felt better than I could have expected, to get that off my chest.

But even good moments, blissful ones, need to come to an end.

I groaned, to no one but myself as I rolled out of bed. I rubbed my eyes as I pulled out a white bin, one that I hadn't opened yet. I was still half asleep, regretting staying up so late, telling Edward about the day of the fateful car wreck.

I assume, while we were talking, Rosalie was fixing up Edward's car.

I yanked the lid off, and started searching, looking for anything to wear. I pulled out a lacy silk camisole. I had in mind the jean shorts I wanted to wear, that went with this top perfectly. I dug around this bin, and came up with nothing. I sighed, and started digging through another random bin under my bed. When I was somewhat near the bottom, I found the ones I was looking for. I slid it back, pushing in under my comforter. I wouldn't go. I sighed, loudly and tried pushing a lot harder. It still didn't move. Frustrated and barely coherent, I flipped the blankets up and looked for the problem.

And I found it. There were too many bins stacked under the bed to make it fit. I wondered where it was before I pulled it out of nowhere. I looked for an empty spot. The only one was behind all the rest. My curiosity was now sparked, wondering why there was one bin behind all the rest when there was clearly room next to the rest. I opened the lid to the thin plastic box and looked through it.

At the bottom there were something I couldn't identify at first. Something I couldn't remember off the top of my head. And something I knew, for a fact, I couldn't fit into.

Novalee's baby clothes lay at the very bottom of the bin.

I took a few deep breaths in, to calm myself.

I have no clue how long I stared and stared and stared at those little tiny clothes. But eventually Edward came through my window. I didn't hear him at first, until I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Bella-" He stopped mid-sentence, unsure what to say.

I dropped the baby clothes I had no idea I was clutching and kicked the bin across the room. "Let's go," I said, normal as possible as I shoved my head through my peach camisole and yanked on my jean shorts, buttoning them as I walked towards the door.

X.

Edward and I talked normal in the car. He had obviously learned to stop pushing me. He definitely wasn't going to mention what happened this morning.

Neither was I.

When we got to school, we walked to our first period, English. "Edward," Ms. Smitt rang out, from the front of the room.

"Yes?" Edward asked.

"Could you help me? I'm behind on my grading and I need to get all six classes graded in the next half an hour."

Edward hesitated, not wanting to ditch me, at the same time my phone went off. I looked at the Caller ID. It read Tommy. I nudged Edward to go help Ms. Smitt as I exited into the hall.

"Hello?" I said as a question, instead of a greeting.

"Bella?" Rang my best friend.

"Tommy?" I whispered.

"Yeah. Wow, I never expected you to answer. Wow. Damn." I laughed at his babble.

"So, how have you been doing?" I asked, trying to ease some tension.

"Pretty good...Ditching...again." I could hear his brothers' videogames playing in the background.

"Lucky. I so wish I could ditch."

"Yeah, you're Nate's only reason to go to school." Dustin laughed, some tension was gone.

"Other than getting away from his family." I pointed out.

"True. Why don't you, Nate and that one guy go ditch together?" That one other guy being Edward?

"I need to do well in school." I shrugged, walking into the girl's bathroom.

"Like make the honor roll?" Tommy made straight D's. He wouldn't go to school if he could help it.

I laughed. "Like pass the 12th grade."

The tension suddenly melted away. "Oh please, Princess. You managed to pass the 9th and 10th grade, pregnant."

I shrugged. "Some of those teachers felt bad for me. Others really didn't care what I did. They weren't gonna fail a pregnant girl."

Tommy laughed. "True to that. So how's Naty boy."

"Eh, good. We still fight a lot."

"I'm shocked, Princess." I could almost see him putting his hand on his heart, mocking me.

"Shut it," I smiled.

"You love me," Tommy teased.

"You love me more."

"Wanna bet?"

"You are so on."

He just laughed. "Yeah, I do love you. And I miss you."

"I miss you too." I smiled, sweetly.

"So, Nate told me, your dad is an ass."

"He's the biggest ass in the world."

"Really now." He said, slyly. "Care to share?"

"Yes!"

X.

I walked out of the girl's bathroom, still smiling. Tommy could really crack me up sometimes. He was the only person who could make me laugh about Charlie. I should have remembered that a lot sooner.

Someone brushed past me, not glancing in my direction. My instincts took over when I recognized the head, before I could stop myself. I grabbed Nate's hand, yanking him backwards. "Trying to avoid me?" I accused, slightly smiley, in a better mood than I thought I'd be in, going by the last few days.

"No." Nate jerked his hand away, turning his back to keep on walking.

"Naty, what's wrong?" I yanked on his arm again, not letting him fight me off.

"I just don't wanna talk," Nate said, not facing me.

"Something's wrong, Nate." I stated, not asked, "Don't create a repeat of yesterday."

"Yeah, because I was fighting with myself."

"I never said that!" I exclaimed.

"Why don't you just leave me alone!" Nate shook me off and went running down the hall.

I shut my eyes, not sure how to react. I felt an arm wrap around my neck. "What was that about?" Asked Alice.

"No idea." I said, still watching him leave. "I didn't even set him off. This time at least."

"Maybe he's having an off day? Like you did yesterday." Alice suggested.

"Maybe."

X.

I didn't tell Edward about Nate's outburst to me. I almost felt like I shouldn't mention it. I hated keeping secrets from him, but I also felt like I shouldn't dump random facts on him. He doesn't tell me when he and Emmett have a fight.

But then again, me and Nate aren't exactly siblings.

"Hey, Edward?" I asked, sometime during English.

"Yes, love," He asked, writing something down, then looking up.

I hesitated. I wasn't sure what I wanted to ask him. I just kind of wanted to say _something_. "Can you take me home really quick, after school. I need to get something." It was better than saying nothing, I guess. But there wasn't really anything I needed to get.

A piece of paper hit the top of my desk, breaking me out of my thoughts. What now? I almost groaned. I unraveled the paper out of a ball and looked at the words on the page.

_I don't understand you_

I looked at Edward, seeing why he'd write this, but he was looking at Jessica. I became very confused.

Some days, I may have been too much of a drama queen-or princess in my case-to write back and say she was just trying to harass me but today I was up for some fun.

_Right back attcha, **sweetheart**_

Edward laughed, as I shot him a big toothy smile, probably looking like an idiot but really not caring. I threw it straight at the back of her head, hitting a bulls eye. She stared at it for a full minute, with an expression that made me and Edward laugh. Lauren leaned back to glare at us, which only cracked us up some more.

Jessica threw the paper back like a hacky sack. Edward read it over my shoulder.

_How can you do ALL of this for attention_

I wanted to ask what she was talking about but the paper was suddenly gone from under me. Even Edward looked up, surprised. "Should I even ask, Ms. Swan?" Ms. Smitt's voice said, from above me.

I shrugged, keeping my cool. "Well, it's your choice, ma'am. Not mine."

"Okay, you know what? I'm getting really sick of this. I'm ready to kick you out of my class." She sounded serious. I didn't care. No teacher was going to make me sweat.

"For what? Incase you haven't noticed, nobody here is really coming to this class or to this school, for that matter, because they wanna learn. They have to. Kicking me out is like saying you give up on me and that I'm worse than any other student. I'm not the only one who's bored. I'm not the only one who wasn't paying attention. And I didn't start that note. It was tossed at me." I explained, coyly. I briefly caught Edward's look out of the corner of my eye. He looked amused and slightly unsurprised.

"If you're not the only one, then why is it, that every time I look around, you're either talking to your boyfriend or making snarky remarks to Lauren or passing notes to Jessica or Nate Carter is coming in here to defend you. This isn't your drama circle and you can't walk all over me, even if your allowed in other classes. This is disrupting _my _class." I could tell she was angry. Who could blame her? She wasn't lying. But we all knew I wasn't causing this drama fest all by myself.

I stood up, walking around to the middle of the aisle, where there was a gap between all the desks. "You know, it's funny that you managed to blame me, yet you mentioned Edward, Lauren, Jessica and Nate. I wasn't writing that note to myself, Ms. Smitt. I'd be willing to bet more a lot of people were writing notes, or texting or having side conversations. And they were probably even about me. But the difference is, you turn a blind eye for the others. But for me, you are willing to pick any excuse to pick on me. You think I won't fight back." I pause, just looking at her, making her uncomfortable for once, "Okay, so maybe I do disrupt your class but I'm definitely not doing it alone."

"I highly doubt everyone is really giving you as hard of a time as you are making it out to be. I know at your age, attention is something you crave, above anything else, but that doesn't mean the world is against you. And it also doesn't mean that everyone is talking about you."

"Are you there, in every one of my classes? Were you there when I opened my locker and there was a bottomless box of condoms? Or when I got kicked out of my seat in math class, for really no reason at all. What about when my bra got unhooked or when Chelsea tried to get me suspended? Do you hear Jessica or Lauren making comments to me all the time, or random girls, who I've never spoken to in my life, calling me a skank and pledging their undying hate for me?" I looked her square in the eye. "You can't say anything about what goes on outside this classroom because you don't know, what going on, outside this classroom."

Ms. Smitt, for once had no answer, for a moment at least. I looked around the room all eyes on us.

"Regardless, Bella, you have distracted the class multiple times in a the last couple of weeks." She reminded me.

I looked at her, knowingly. "You're not saying this because I'm annoying you. I'm just the easy victim." I said, softly. No one else probably heard me, except for Edward.

"Bella-" Before she could even finish, I held my hand up.

Then I turned to the class instead of her. "Raise your hand if this is your favorite class of the day." No one raised their hand, but their eyes stayed on me. It was dead silent, you could hear a pen drop.

"Raise your hand if you get bored in this class." About 7 kids, slowly and unsurely, raised their hands.

"Raise your hand if you talk in this class." Twelve kids raised their hand.

"Raise your hand if you have ever pass notes in this class." About 16 kids raised their hands, a little surer now.

"Raise your hand if you have ever texted someone in this class or any other class." Half the class raised their hands now.

"Raise your hand if you have ever talked to me or about me in this class." Twenty-six students, terrified on what I may do, raised their hands.

"Raise your hand if those notes or texts were ever about me." Twenty-nine slow, unsure, afraid, careful, hand rose up.

"Raise your hand if you think I'm the school slut." Everyone but Edward raised their hand.

"Raise your hand if you hate me." No one raised their hand. Not even Jessica or Lauren.

The bell rang, almost like this was planned. I left without a single word from anyone. Edward caught up with me in the hall. "That was really brave in there." Edward told me.

I shrugged. "It needed to be done."

"No really, Bella. I'm impressed." I laughed.

"Thanks."

"Not only was it courageous but most people in that class no longer have anything against you."

"Really?" They had nothing against me, for now...

"They really don't. It's weird." Alice came out of nowhere. "It's like they were waiting for you to do something, that they wanted you to stand up there and talk."

Before we could say much more, out of nowhere, I saw Jessica and Mike looking over here. Mike looked normal, but Jessica was staring at me like I had three heads. It was really creepy. I remembered her note in class. I didn't understand it.

I didn't want to deal with them next period. Alice went stiff for a moment then looked at Edward. "You want to ditch. Again?" Alice asked, unsure.

"You got it."

"You ditched yesterday."

"I went home sick. There's a difference." I pointed out, dragging a smiling Edward towards the door. "See you, Alice."

"Bella, how am I supposed to explain this to the secretary!" Alice exclaimed.

"Love you!" I called, ignoring her. Alice was Alice. She would find a way.

We laughed on our way to the Volvo that was somehow fixed thanks to Rosalie. "Why do we even come to school anymore," Edward teased in the car.

"I'll stay for the rest of the week," I said, wryly.

"You don't have to. And I definitely don't _need _to."

I laughed, "I don't know." I sighed after a moment. "School is fun, _sometimes_. When I get to show off."

Now Edward laughed. "I'm still impressed by what you did in front of the class."

I shrugged. "I think they were lying. They do all hate me."

"Not really. Some girls are jealous of you, but that partly how this started in the first place." Edward explained, turning on Elderidge Road.

"Partly?" I picked out.

Edward shrugged, indifferent. Or not wanting to tell me. "Most girls are jealous of you," He shifted the subject slightly.

"Like who?" I challenged.

"Jessica."

"Whatever."

"Lauren."

"Bitch."

"Angela."

"Yeah, right!"

"It's true," Edward insisted.

"Angela is jealous of me? Seriously!" Why would she be jealous of me!

"She doesn't dislike you on any level, Bell. And she does pity you too."

"First of all, that's even worse. And second, jealousy leads to hate. Trust me, I know."

"Not true." Edward seemed determined to prove his point.

"Really?"

"Francia envies you too and she's also your best friend." Edward pointed out, speeding up slightly.

My head shot up. "Francia does not envy me." I was sure.

"Her thoughts say otherwise."

"Oh really? Care to share." I used the same words Tommy used this morning.

"Her thoughts were sincere that she loves you like a little sister, but she's jealous because she thinks you're prettier-which I agree-and because you are more loved." Edward explained, turning the corner.

I looked at him for a long minute. "You know, I understand what you mean when you say you can read my face so well." Edward looked at me, puzzled, since this came out of left field. "I can read yours too, when you let your guard down." I continued. "You are curious about something you read in Francia's mind." I stated.

"You're good. I need to remember to keep my face blank from now on."

"No! That's no fun!" I exclaimed, without thinking. "Okay, now you're trying to distract me. Why won't you answer the question, Edward?" Edward rolled his eyes, playful.

"I don't want to upset you." Edward reached over and stroked my cheek.

"I won't get upset. I swear."

Edward was silent for a minute. "Do you remember when Francia and you were talking about when you guys met Taylor?" Edward finally asked, quietly.

"Yes." I said, evenly, suddenly knowing exactly where this was going.

"When you said, 'It's Taylor', Francia thought. 'God, I miss her.' And it wasn't in a moved away sort of tone." I sighed after he was done explaining. I was surprised that it took Edward this long to ask. I had expected this question, a long time ago. But I still didn't want to talk about it.

But I needed to.

"What happened to her?" Edward prompted after a minute.

"She died..." I trailed off. I shut my eyes for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain it without losing it. Yesterday, I broke down at least four times. I didn't want a repeat. "She was murdered, Edward." Edward looked over at me. I didn't realize until then, we were parked. "Um," I gathered my voice. "She was killed about 6 months after Novalee was gone. Everything for me was already a blur but it just went to hell then."

"Do you know who killed her?"

"No. And the police let it go. They looked for about year then gave up."

"Did she have any enemies?" Edward asked.

I chuckled, darkly. "At PV, if you weren't best friends with someone, they pretty much were your enemies." I explained.

"Did you have enemies?" Edward asked.

"Please. All I had was enemies." Not counting a select few.

Edward was quiet for a few minutes. I didn't speak, letting him think about whatever. "Bella, were you the hot girl at your old school?" He suddenly asked, dead serious.

I burst out laughing; definitely not how I thought a conversation like this was going. Edward saying hot girl sounded so weird, that in itself made me laugh. When I caught my breath, I shook my head. "No. Edward, I was not the hot girl."

"Are you sure?" He didn't believe me?

I almost answered yes, immediately but then I thought. "I don't know." I answered honestly. "And you're just trying to distract me." I narrowed my eyes.

Edward flashed me his crooked smile. "I don't want to pressure you into talking about your friend..."

"But..."

"But, I am curious. And the only two people who would know are you and Nate. Two minds, who are reserved from me."

I stared down at my shorts for a minute, smiling smally, sadly. I couldn't go into details on what happened to Taylor, because I didn't know the details. I knew even less than Nate knew and he knew less than anyone else in Phoenix.

So I could only tell him what I was comfortable with. And what little knowledge I had.

"I don't even know most of what happened. I asked Francia when she was here but she said the cops were calling it a cold case. Which is really stupid." I didn't register what I was going to say before I started babbling. "You know, the worst part is, I can't remember when I found out or how exactly I found out. I don't even really remember losing my friend. I remember becoming vacant. And angry. And resolved. I remember, feeling like crying when I laughed and laughing when I cried. And feeling like someday I was going just dry up and blow away and everyone would be better off." Sometimes I still feel exactly like that.

"That's not true, love."

"You and Nate and all my friends and Renee and Phil and my aunt and uncles all say that, but it doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't make sense. My daughter and the girl, who was supposed to be my sister both died. _And yet, I'm still here_." I paused. Edward almost looked like he was going to say something but I kept going. "Why am I here? I've been _almost _killed, God knows how many times! But somehow I _always _get second chances. Why didn't _Taylor_? Why didn't _Novalee_?"

Edward wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into his side. His face was pained, his eyes dark. I knew he hated seeing me upset. "I'm sorry." I felt his lips touch my hair. "I shouldn't have made you talk about it."

"No." I said after a minute. "I'm glad you did. Talking helps." I forced a small smile.

"Good." Edward kissed my forehead before mumbling something I didn't understand.

X.

I struggled to get the key into the door. Edward didn't touch me, knowing it would only make me colder. I had, stupidly, forgot my coat this morning and was freezing cold. I was in a hurry to get my jacket out of my room so I could go back to the Cullens'.

"Damn you, fricken key. Get in the hole!"

"Here, let me-" Before Edward could help, Charlie opened the door.

I shoved right passed him and started to sprint up the stairs, not the easiest thing in my heels. "Isabella!" Charlie called as I reached my room.

I froze, then rolled my eyes, not turning around. "What _now_?" I groaned, grabbing my jacket off my closet floor.

"Where the hell were you last night?" He was pissed.

"Here!"

"No, you weren't."

"Well, of course you wouldn't notice. You were sleeping on the couch, drooling by the time I came home."

Charlie glared at me, but I didn't pay any attention. I turned to Edward, about to tell him to get me out of here, to see his shirt pocket, visibly buzzing. "Go, take your call," I whispered to him, knowing he heard me. Edward hesitantly left, but I figured he would be listening.

"What about yesterday afternoon?" Charlie demanded.

I narrowed my eyes. Yesterday I had ditched school, got in a fight with Nate twice, been in a car accident and relived the single most traumatic day of my life.

And Charlie wanted to know where I was?

"I got in a car accident, Charlie." I said, blankly, waiting to see his reaction.

He froze. "Oh my god. What happened?"

Wow. I didn't expect that. Charlie acting concerned and parental? I never thought that would happen.

"I was driving, car started to break down, someone hit Edward's car six times. I freaked." I stated, curtly, but my tone melted a bit.

"Who did it?" He was going into cop mode.

"I don't know," I stated, pulling on my jacket.

"You don't know!" Now he thinks I'm making it up.

"It was a hit and run." I said like I was talking to Meme instead of Charlie.

"A hit and run!"

"Yes, dad. It was a hit and run. Now do you mind, I've got to go."

"Bella, I need more answers-"

"I'm sure you'll figure it all out." I shut the door. Edward was leaning against the side of his car, only he wasn't alone. Emmett stood right next to him with a grin that was _so _Emmett.

"Hey, Bells, I'm stealing Edward for a few hours." Emmett said as I walked up.

"You guys going hunting?" I already knew the answer to my question.

"Yes." Edward answered, glaring out of the corner of his eye at Emmett.

"That's boring, Edward. Even Bella would agree." Emmett boomed.

"What's boring?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hunting in the same old place. Over and over again." Emmett rolled his eyes. "We should go somewhere farther away. But we can't. Edward doesn't want to leave."

"Go without me." Edward chimed in.

"No one else will go without you!" Emmett whined. I sighed. I was a sucker for guilt trips as much as I tried to deny it.

"Well."

I laughed, quietly at Emmett. "Please, Bella, please, make Edward go. Please." Emmett begged. I laughed again.

"Em-" Edward started.

"You should go." I said, quietly. I knew that I kept him away from the rest of his family enough. I used to wish I had siblings. I wish I had a family like his. Unjudgemental and loving. I didn't want Edward taking his family for granted.

"Yes, ma'am!" Emmett picked me up and spun me around. "I knew I always wanted Bella as a little sister!"

"Love, it doesn't really matter." Edward chimed in as Emmett sat me down on solid ground. "I can wait awhile to go hunting and we can just stay in the same spot."

"No. You can't, Edward. You're the one who told me you can't hunt in the same spot so much, or else people get suspicious." I smiled, trying to look reassuring. "Besides, I take you from your family enough. You should go."

"Don't need to tell me twice." Emmett started to drag Edward away. Edward batted his hand back at vampire speed.

I laughed. "Go. Have a good time."

"Call me if you need me." Edward stepped forward to kiss me goodbye.

"I will." I promised.

"See you in a few days, shorty!" Emmett called, laughing. I even heard Edward laughing. I groaned. Edward and Alice told Emmett about my nickname. Great. I watched them speed away, as best as human eyes could detect.

I looked around, wondering what I should do. My first thought was go hang out with friends. Human friends. But a lot of them, I really didn't want to deal with.

I sighed. I loved Edward-with all my heart-but his leaving opened up another opportunity.

Nate

How he acted at school was suddenly on my mind. I never really understood everything that he did and the reasons behind it but I knew I couldn't just let it go. I had to talk to him.

I got in my truck and drove down the street, slowly, in no hurry to get to Nate's house. I forget sometimes that being with Nate wears me out.

But my curiosity got the better of me. I almost felt a little guilty. All I felt was curiosity. I really wasn't concerned. But I knew if something were really wrong, Juliannah or Aidenn or Claire or Summer would have called me.

And Nate didn't keep things from me. Except when they were hard to talk about. I looked up to see the Carter's house. I turned in their driveway, and turned off the ignition.

"Princess!" Claire shouted, running towards me. I caught her just in time. My god, she was so tiny! How the hell could she be pregnant? I remembered I was shorter than her when I was fifteen. Claire's only fourteen. Did people think the same thing about me, I wondered? Probably. People always asked me how old I was and were surprised that I was even fifteen or sixteen, at the end of my pregnancy.

"Claire!" I exclaimed. "Don't run into me too hard. Might hurt your stomach."

"Oh god, Bella! Not you too!" Claire pulled back.

"What?"

"My mom and dad are always telling me I can't have too much sugar and I have to take it easy, don't stress out and take these nasty pills for pregnancies!" She ranted.

I laughed. "I know, I hated it too." My nose wrinkled.

"Did you know the doctor told me that pretty soon, sex would be good for the baby?"

I laughed, then abruptly frowned. "Can't picture you having sex, Claire."

"I couldn't picture you and Nate getting it on either."

"Oh, please. You didn't even try to picture that."

"How do you know?"

"You were eleven."

She laughed, high pitched and squeaky. "I know, right!"

She grabbed my hand, dragging me inside. "Are you here to see Nate?"

"Yeah...something like that."

"You guys got in another fight, didn't you?" She said as she opened the door.

"...I'm really not sure."

"Oh!" She seemed to get it. I didn't..."He's in the kitchen." She said as she walked away.

"Nate?" I called, walking around the corner to the kitchen. Nate sat at a high counter on a bar stool, with a piece of paper in his hand. "Nathann?" I called.

He looked up. "Oh...Hey?" He said it as a question.

I stared him for a minute. "Wanna tell me why you were so weird at school today?"

"I just wasn't in the mood." Nate shrugged, looking back at the photo in his hands.

"You weren't in the mood?" My eyebrows pulled together. "Bull shit."

"I just didn't want to see you!" Nate yelled, throwing his hands up in the air, successfully throwing the photo my way.

"What's this?" I asked, reaching for the photo.

"Nothing!" He snapped, reaching too.

I was quicker. "What's so important about this?" I asked, then I looked at it.

I remembered this picture. It was two weeks after I was released from the hospital. My hair was messy ponytail that hung over my shoulder, Novalee had woken me up every half an hour the night before, I had not a scratch of makeup on my face, I was on my bed in a tank top and boyshorts and I had just gotten done breast feeding her. I had been pissed that Nate had taken this picture. I didn't know he had kept it.

But the most prominent thing was that I was holding a fussy Novalee in my arms.

Her eyes. Oh my god. I had forgotten about her eyes. They were the shape of mine but bright blue. And she was born with fuzzy golden hair. She was looking wide-eyed at the camera. I looked like I was getting ready to flip it off.

I sighed. This only got harder and harder. I set the photograph down in front of Nate. He sighed. "Okay. I cave. I was avoiding you."

"Why?" I asked, biting my lip, absentmindedly, all of a sudden kind of wishing I hadn't let Edward go with Emmett and that we were at the Cullens' right now.

"Because you look like her." Nate said, looking at me.

"What?"

"You know how people always say that when, like their husband or wife dies they see them in their kids?" I nodded. "Well it's the opposite for us."

"Yeah. You're right." We fell silent for a minute. "So have you been comparing me and Novalee ever since you moved to Forks."

Nate didn't respond right away. "This morning my mom was making me unpack. When I went through some of my boxes I found this at the bottom." He held the photo up again, just for effect. "I kind of forgot how much you too look alike," Nate said sheepishly.

"I thought you and her looked more alike."

Nate shook his head. He was about to say more but I heard the back door open and high heels clinking on the floor.

Kayla Carter walked into the kitchen. It almost shocked me. I guess I hadn't really thought about what she looked like. She looked mostly the same as before only a little paler and her hair a different color and-thank god-her teeth were not half as white. She could have blinded the whole contrary before. She was back to being a blonde. About Summer shade blonde, not Claire. She was still very tan-for Forks, at least. And her boob job was definitely still her favorite asset.

"Hey baby." She leaned over and kissed Nate on the forehead.

"Hi mom."

She looked over. "Bella!" She exclaimed, quieter than Claire but I could see where she got it from.

"Hi." I smiled as she hugged me.

"What took you so long, sugar?" I don't know why it surprised me that she still had her southern accent.

"Took me so long…..?"

"To come visit us! Silly little girl!"

I laughed, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She smiled at me. "Nate, you're being rude. Get Princess something to drink."

"I am such a horrible person." Nate said as he walked over to the fridge.

"So where were you guys?" I asked

"Oh you know. Shopping for Claire. She's scared she's not going to be ready when the baby comes."

"Let's hope she has an easier time than me."

Kayla wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "You did great, honey. Sometimes life just sucks." I knew she was avoiding talking about her son.

Nate set some kind of drink for me on the counter. Kayla looked over at her son. They shared a look, tender but there was something else there that I didn't understand.

"I'm going to go take Juli to her appointment." She said as she left, after she kissed her son again.

Nate was wiping off his mother's lip-gloss when Tom came in. "Get me a beer." He said to Nate, dropping the newspaper on the counter.

"Didn't you drink enough last night, dad. You need coffee."

Tom looked disappointed. "Nate, I thought I'd taught you that you never drink coffee to sober someone up-"

"Because all you'll get is a wide awake drunk." Nate finished for him, standing up again to get his dad a beer from the fridge.

Tom looked over to me. "Hey, sweetheart." He said

"Hi." I smiled, brightly.

"How are you?"

"Pretty good."

"Except your dad is an ass right?" He laughed.

I laughed too. "How'd you know that?" I asked.

"Nate was telling me all about it." He flashed me a smile as Nate handed a beer to his dad.

"Really?" I was shocked. Nate rarely talked to his dad, last time I checked. And when something bad was going on he ran to Kayla to baby him.

"I needed someone to vent to." Nate answered my unspoken question. "And I didn't think he'd remember."

"But I do." Tom chimed in.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Nate was annoyed, that was obvious.

"Well then. I can see where I'm not wanted." Tom teased, smiling at me. "See you around, Princess." He left the room. Abruptly, three seconds later he popped his head back in. "Oh, and don't let my douche of a son get to you."

Nate groaned. "I'll keep that in mind." I said, smiling.

I liked Nate's family better than I did mine. I was going to have to start spending more time over here.

I leaned down to look at the photograph again. I looked so pissed there. If only I'd known what was coming. I sighed, deeply.

I wish I hadn't taken everything I had for granted.

**AN: So whatcha think of Nate's parents. I said they weren't the best parents, not that they were villains, hahaha. BTW, in the beginning the reason I didn't show Bella explaining to Edward what happened during the crash that killed Novalee is because that's going to have something to do with later chapters. And I also don't think a lot of people understood why I had a flashback to Nate and Bella in the car in the last chapter. That was for a reason. Just saying.**

**Two reminders:**

**Vote on my poll.(Btw, just say in a review or PM if you change your vote.) **

**And the link to my facebook is on my profile :D**


	38. Chapter 37: Rumors

**AN: Okay, I'm mainly posting this because I haven't updated in a month. The next chapter should be more eventful, I think. But yeah, this is a short chapter(for me) and it's mainly just pointless things, but it's going somewhere. SO please review it:) **

**Disclaimer I own nothing.**

I never sleep well when Edward's not there. It makes the nightmares ten times worse. I was still tired when I woke up in the morning. Edward was still with his family, so there was no gentle kisses to wake up to, or anything else that would get my heart racing or my body out of bed. It was depressing, really.

I was inevitably in a bad mood, without Edward here but Charlie was gone so that helped brighten me up, just a little. I didn't focus on my outfit for once, just deciding to wear a blue tank top and skin tight skinny jeans with blue high heels. But to make up for my lack of skin, the tank top was a size too small, to it rode up to exactly under my belly button and my extremely tight push up bra made my boobs almost fall out of my shirt.

Slut mission accomplished.

I ate alone, obviously. I was way too lazy to make anything but pop tarts. I sighed, wondering what to do today. Should I call one of my friends? I couldn't really decide. So I did the obvious. I called Ricky.

"Hello, Princess."

"Hello, Ricky." I mocked.

"What are you up to this fine morning?" Okay, he just got laid.

"I was eating. Tell Francia I said hi after she's done getting dressed."

Ricky laughed. "Okay, I will. Where's your boyfriend?"

"Camping with his family."

"Camping!" He laughed. "Who goes camping anymore?"

I rolled my eyes, letting it slide. I didn't know how to explain that my boyfriend had to kill animals every two weeks. "So what were you doing, up until I called you?"

"Having fun-"

"Don't wanna know, Ricky." I exclaimed, cutting him off.

"I was going to say, having fun, harassing Nate, stupid."

"Oh. That sounds better than-"

"Having sex with Francia? If you hate me and her talking about our sex live so much why do you keep bringing it up?"

"Because I like making fun of you for it."

"I've noticed that." He said.

"Aren't we grumpy this morning?" I teased.

"Well, well, well. Do I get to be the pot or are you gonna make me be the kettle?"

"I'm not always moody!" I exclaimed. There was a long pause. "Am I?"

"I learned a long time ago, not to tell you when you're bitchy."

"Thanks," I said, sarcastically. He laughed.

"Don't you have school?"

"Yes."

"When do you plan on going?"

"Soon..." Truth is, I didn't want to go today.

"Go with Nate." He was eager, out of the blue.

"I do go to school with Nate." I stated, blankly.

"I mean, drive to school with Nate."

"I'm fine. I don't need a ride."

"I know. You have a truck. Francia was going on about how you have some really shitty knock off of Nate's truck."

"Good to know my two best friends talk about me."

"No problem, Princess. Now I'm going to call Naty for you."

"No, you won't!"

"Too late." The line disconnected.

It was obvious at this point that Coco and Ricky were trying to set me up. It was getting retarded. I sighed. They were never going to get it. Sometimes I wonder if I really am the most stubborn person out of all our friends.

I was planning on intercepting the call that Ricky was making to Nate but I heard a car honk from outside. I opened my door, only to see Nate's truck in my driveway. There was no way that he had made it over here so quickly.

Unless he was already planning this.

"Natyyyy!" I groaned as I walked up to his car. "Did Ricky put you up to this?"

Nate smiled, wryly. "Nope. I put him up to it." He stated, shameless.

"Seriously! I can drive myself!"

"No. No, you can't. You see, I eleven wayed all our friends from Phoenix. We all came to the conclusion that you shouldn't drive that piece of crap anymore. And since Edward isn't here, you needed a ride. I figured your father wasn't gonna take you."

"Good guess." I rolled my eyes. "But, really, you don't need to pick me up. I'm perfectly fine-"

"Just get in the car, Isabel."

I was going to protest but I gave up. It was stupid to keep arguing. "You're can be a jerk sometimes," I pouted.

Nate laughed. "You love it."

For an unknown reason, I couldn't deny it. "You thrive off it."

He laughed again, "Okay, you have me there."

"Well then."

"Well then." He mimicked. He was quiet for a moment. "I'm sure everyone will be happy that you're wearing whole pants again."

"Oh, shut up, Nate. I know for a fact that you're disappointed."

"Oh yes, Princess. I love staring at your legs. All day long."

"Stop mocking me." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Who's mocking you?" He sounded serious.

"You are."

"Am not."

"Let's have a fight like we're four, Nate!" Dude, I'm so tired today. Tired to the point where I'm just giddy and annoying.

"We shall!" He knew how to play along.

"Shall?"

"Yes, shall!"

"What the hell, Naty?"

"It's my new favorite word."

"And when did this occur?"

"When I saw a beer commercial."

"And what type of beer was this for?"

"I turned it off before it was over." He flashed me a smile.

"Well then. You shouldn't drink beer you know."

"What should I drink?"

"Chicken Soup for the Soul."

"And where do I find this particular product."

"Up your ass." I laughed like an eight year old.

"Real mature, Princess. Act your age, not your shoe size."

"Thank you, Aunt Pam." He just laughed now as he pulled up into the school. "Damn." I cursed out loud.

"What?"

"I have PE today."

"So?"

"So! So, I have to jump in the air and fall on the ground and all those things that require bruises." I exclaimed.

"Wear high heels. You're never clumsy in those things."

"Nate!" I exclaimed. I sighed, thinking of a solution. "You know what, you should ditch with me!"

"Okay," He started the truck back up to back out.

"Wait!" I yelled, right as he pulled out in front of Mike.

He screeched to a stop half way out, as well as Mike. Mike suddenly was glaring daggers at us. It was kind of funny. "I can't miss any more of school." I sighed, glumly.

Nate laughed. "I know. But I was waiting for you to say something."

"And what if I hadn't?" I asked.

"Then we would have left."

"And I may have been suspended."

"Not my problem."

"It is if I show up on your doorstep asking for a place to live because my dad kicked out his high school failure, teenage pregnancy, unwanted daughter."

For some reason that only made him smile wider. I hoped he wasn't taking that seriously. I would obviously be staying with Edward and the Cullens if that happened. I think.

Only then I realized Nate and me were still parked in the middle of the street.

There were at least three cars behind Mike. The clock read, ten minutes till school starts.

Nate and me looked at each other at the same time. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" Nate asked.

"Hell yeah." I smiled, big and wide.

Nate looked over his shoulder for one second before turning back to me. "On the count of three."

"One." I whispered.

"Two," He continued.

"Three." We said at the same time as we ducked lower in the seats. Nate surprised me though. He pulled me on top of him. Like literly.

We just sat there for a minute. Waiting. Putting everyone else in suspense, wondering what we were doing. To be honest, I was wondering what we were doing. Nate was trying not to smirk at me, I could tell. Nate smile widened and he kicked his leg in the air then shoved it back down after a minute.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"Making it look like we're having hot crazy sex."

I laughed and kicked my leg into view then rolled it into a circle down as if we were rolling around.

"They are so gullible." Nate whispered after a minute.

"Do you think they're gonna believe us?"

"I hope so. That would make my life." Nate chuckled.

"You're such a loser."

"Thanks, babe." The next thing I know, Nate pushed his knees-which I was leaning on-higher, putting my ass into view for everyone to see.

"Nate" I scolded. They couldn't see my face.

"Just having some fun. Live a little, Princess."

"Fine." I smirked and rolled over, pulling him on top of me.

"Oh ok, that's how you want it." He laughed quietly and tugged me back on him. I laughed, knowing how everyone else was perceiving this.

We waited, just like that, for quite some time, until finally, there was a knock on the window. We had been silent for so long, that it scared both of us. Mostly Nate, because he jumped and knocked me off of him, and into the steering wheel.

"Ouch, you ass."

"Sorry." He said, quickly, opening the door.

Outside stood Aidenn, right in front of us. And behind him, in the distance, stood over half our student body, which made up about 25 percent of this town.

I bit my lip to keep from giggling at their wild expressions that ranged between jealousy, hate, rage and laughter. "What the hell do you want, Aidenn?" Nate sounded angry.

"Were you two making out in the there."

"That's none of your business." Nate said, stepping out of the car and onto the pavement, strengthening everyone's view. It didn't hit me till then that Nate's hair was a mess and his clothes were all screwy. I could feel mine were all messed up too.

And I realized that Nate and me were still playing the game. We were still acting like we were just making out. I quickly hopped out of his truck. I made sure, by looking at my reflection in the side of the truck, that all my clothes were crooked, and my hair looked like a giant riot of tangles. Best of all, my bra was showing. It was going to be hilarious to see everyone's reactions.

"Nate..." I called, in my whiniest, bad impression of a stuck up, rich, white girlfriend, you see in all the teen chick flicks.

He beamed back at me, having fun with this. "What is it, baby?"

"You're steering wheel really hurts my back. I told you I wanted a truck with a backseat." My classmates were eating this crap up out of the palm of my hand.

Nate pretended to sigh, "I know, Princess. I'll buy a new one, I promise."

"Do you swear?" I asked, turning around, so I was no longer by his side, but facing him, with my back to our audience.

"I would do anything for you." He whispered. No one could hear him, as far away as they were, but they could see the look in his eyes. And that told all.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him, for our audience. He easily, as if he did it everyday, picked me up, and swung me around. "These people are total losers." I said, to Nate, an unbearable volume for them.

"They are actually believing this crap." He snickered, setting me down. I gazed out of the corner of my eye, seeing as the entire audience was still watching. Nate decided to finish our show and took my hand in his as if it were nothing and we walked to the school building.

When we got inside, there was a fair amount doing normal things, but it was nothing compared to the crowd outside. No doubt everyone would hear about our little adventure to make-believe land, by the end of the day. I giggled, again, attracting the attention of a sophomore and junior.

I dragged Nate by the hand, into the bathroom-girl's bathroom-and made him hold my purse.

"Bella, this. Is. Weird." He was such a three year old. Meme was more mature.

"Shut up, Nate. And hand me my brush." He sighed but complied. I pulled my natrually wavy hair into a low side ponytail.

I was still primping when Nate started complaining. "Okay, you've fixed your hair, flashed everyone and created new rumors already. Let's go home and ditch. We did our work today."

I laughed, in his face, dropped my brush into my purse and walking out. "And miss all these gorgeous rumors about to start. Not a chance."

Nate immediately ran to catch up to me. "Fine. I'll stay if you stay. But next time you ditch..." He paused. "Can you bring me?" He asked.

I realized I'd ditch a lot this week but I hadn't given the consideration of bringing him along. I felt slightly remorseful, especially because I know Nate doesn't like sounding weak, so if he was asking, it must have been eating at him. "Yeah, sure, no problem." I tried to sound as casual as possible. Something occurred to me as we walked further down the hall.

I groaned. "Uhhh." I said, stomping my foot, looking like a five year old.

Nate laughed at me. "Weirdo," He rolled his eyes. I hit his arm. "Hey, that hurt!"

"No it didn't." I rolled my eyes now.

"No. No, it didn't." He smiled. "So what's your problem?"

"Huh?"

"The reason you're stomping your foot?"

"Oh, that! I don't wanna go to English." I said, glumly.

"What, because Edward's not here?"

"Exactly." I nodded.

"Well...you have fun there." Nate said as the bell rang.

"Boo, you whore." I called.

"Nice, Regina," Nate called back. I laughed. **(AN: Mean Girls)**

"Meet me at lunch." Three juniors looked up as I said that.

"'Kay."

I walked into class and took my seat in back. "Hey." Said Jessica, meekly

"Can I help you?" I asked, glancing up, from my mirror where I was fixing my lip-gloss.

She didn't speak for a minute. "Did you and Nate just have sex? Like for real?" She asked.

I shook my head, smiling. "No comment."

"I'm serious." She sounded it.

"Sure," I slurred the word.

"Bella-"

"Why don't you go ask the stupid ass slut Chelsea?"

She didn't respond right away. "Because I don't like her." She finally admitted.

"Oh, but you like me?" I set my mirror down and looked her in the eye.

"Not really." She was hesitant to answer.

I laughed, once. "Good. Because I _really_ can't stand you."

She didn't talk for a minute. "So are you cheating on Edward?"

I rolled my eyes. "No. He doesn't care what I do with Nate." He wouldn't. Once he knew the truth.

"Really?" She sounded shocked.

"He knows Nate's gonna be in my life." I said, nonchalantly. "He is the father of my baby."

Jess rolled her eyes. "Sure." She was short.

I sighed, sick of everyone giving me that response, didn't they believe me? "You know what? Chew on this, okay? Whatever I just did with Nate, is absolutely nothing compared to what I do with Edward? Every. Single. Night." She was looking at me like I had three heads. "Yeah, bitch. Chew on that."

X.

I sighed, hating P.E. I was on a team with Mike, who was giving me funny looks every minute. It was starting to stop being funny and starting to piss me off. The day had passed by very quickly, surprisingly. I got asked all through out the day if Nate and me were having sex in the front seat of his truck. And of course, I couldn't foil my little plans to give everyone a headache. And then they noticed that my hicky, Edward gave me, was not completely gone. That only stirred up more rumors, when I told everyone at lunch Edward had given it to me, days ago. It shocked everyone that it was still so big. Nate and me were getting a kick out of this.

The day got a lot slower once I hit P.E. I hated this class. Despised it, all my life. Although, I kind of like my little black shorts and my black button up sweater that revealed my belly ring. Everyone was surprised by that, giving me more to laugh about. I pictured Nate's reaction when I told him about this. I wasn't really paying attention when I heard my name.

"Princess?" Nate called. I turned, surprised. He didn't have this class.

"Naty!" I exclaimed, running to him, almost slipping on my sock clad feet.

He laughed, over my head as all my classmates dropped their mouths. "Me and you are wanted in the office."

"Why?" I asked. My classmates were obviously still listening.

"Not a clue." Nate shrugged. Nate handed the pass he had for me to Mike. "You can give this to your teacher, can't you?" He smiled, only making Mike more inferior.

Nate came back over and pulled me out the door. "Nice going." I laughed. He joined in as we entered the office.

The secretary was looking over some paper work. I cleared my throat. "Oh, hello, Mr. Carter, Ms. Swan."

"So why are we here?" Nate asked, sitting in one of the seats by the door and grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl.

"You two are wanted at the police station," She announced.

"What the fu-" I slapped my hand over Nate's mouth before he could continue.

"For what?" I exclaimed

"Inappropriate conduct on school property."

"When!" Nate shoved my hand away and stood up.

"This morning."

"You can't arrest us!" I yelled.

"The school can since you're both legal adults."

Nate and me looked at each other before I spoke. "Well, I'm not going." I smirked, sitting down.

"Damn right." Nate agreed.

"You can leave on your own or I can call the cops to escort you." She threatened.

"Shit." Nate muttered.

**AN: I'll try to update sooner, I promise.**

**Two reminders:**

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**And the link to my Facebook is on my profile :D**


	39. Chapter 38: Thunderstorms

**AN: So I expected to include more in this chapter but then an ending occurred to me and I decided to take it. Ever happened to you? Probably not, lol. **

**So of course, I gotta remind of my Facebook for this story, which I update when I am about to post something. Link on profile.**

**And to vote on my poll.**

**And one last thing-and I know-IF YOUR EVEN READING THIS-that you're probably like** **_why am I reading this?_ Or **_**Gawd don't you know when to shut up, if you want me to read this damn chapter**_**, or something along those lines but I got three reviews for the last chapter. THREE! Please, give me more love than that! **

**Okay, btw I love HappyKitty95 and Ashleygreenpink because they always gives me lots of positive feedback :D and if you have ever given me a review and are reading this, I love you too XD. But the thing is, if I get a review, it's how I become motivated to write. So yeah, please review...Now I sound review happy...which I think I am...**

**Okay, it is like one thirty in the morning and long author note is probably making this chapter go from 2,891 words to like 3,900 so I think I'll stop talking now...!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...But Nate. Yes!**

When Nate and me arrived at the police station, he'd called his parents in the car, so they were waiting for him. Me on the other hand, was screwed, totally and completely. Charlie would, no doubt be waiting for me, inside the station at his desk. I didn't bother waiting for Nate. I just walked in and ignored all the officers that we trying to get my attention, going straight to my dad.

"Hello, dad." I said darkly. He was signing paper work. "So...you going to arrest me?"

"Very funny, Isabella."

"Mmmm, that's what I thought." I mumbled, sitting down, pulling out my phone.

"Put that away!" He yelled.

I stood up and walked around him, looking over his shoulder. "So, why am I here, again?"

"Sex on school property. I mean, honestly! I can't believe _even_ you would do that!" He glared.

I shrugged, smirking now that I had gotten a rise out of him. "Maybe you don't know as much as you think?" I smiled, big now.

"Get in the car, now!" He exclaimed.

"Thought I was under arrest, dad?" I pretended to be shocked.

"Well, I guess I bailed you out." He said, in a pissed off sugary voice.

I rolled my eyes, and walked out of the police station, attracting the eyes of every single officer. Nate and his parents were still out there. "Hey, baby girl!" Kayla called to me as I walked out. She opened her arms and I ran into them.

"I hate my dad." I mumbled, again Kayla's big fake boobs. Not my fault I'm this short and she decides to wear 6 inch heels every day.

She laughed. "Well, Tom's gonna set him straight."

I pulled back, "Really?"

"Yeah, I know. Shocking my dad will do shit." Nate exclaimed from behind us.

"Nathann Bryce Carter!" Kayla exclaimed.

"Oh, leave the boy's middle name out of this, Kayla!" Tom yelled at her, from his position leaning against the stair railing.

"Put a sock in it, Tom!" Kayla yelled.

"How did you not miss this family, Princess?" Nate said in my ear.

I laughed. "I have no idea."

Charlie walked out at that moment. He started to walk past Tom, "Get in the car, Isabella." He grumbled.

"Now wait, here, Officer." Tom yanked on his arm.

"If you have a problem, take it up with an officer inside." Charlie avoided his gaze.

"Well, you're right here, aren't you, sir?" Tom just stared, not letting him go.

Charlie looked at him then at Nate then back at me then at Kayla. "You're Nate's parents, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir, we are." Kayla replied.

Apparently Charlie had a word to say over that. "So, you're the ones who taught your son to come on over to someone's house and disrespect them. And to screw around in a town he's been in for no more than a few weeks. And, now he's got my daughter in trouble with the law. Well, I bet you're proud of how you're son turned out."

"I'm damn proud of how your son turned out." Tom stepped forward, getting in Charlie's face.

"I'm sure you are. By teaching him to lie and deceive and use people? My daughter is the town whore, while he comes up smelling like a rose." Charlie wasn't afraid.

"I made my son strong." Tom was fiercer than ever. "And if I'm right, you're the one who started _those_ rumors that made your daughter a whore, right?"

Me and Nate and Kayla were just watching this confrontation. "I didn't know what those rumors would do." Charlie glared, piercing fire through his pupils.

"Well, I guess now you do." Tom got a lot closer. "One thing you have yet to learn, sir, is you pay for what you do."

Charlie stayed silent for a while. "I guess you would know that, right, Tom?"

"What the hell does that mean?" Tom squinted at Charlie.

"You drink so much that you're oldest son became a drug addict, and murdered the daughter of your middle son. And your youngest is headed for trouble too, don't you worry." Charlie hit a nerve inside Tom.

Tom was a inch from punching Charlie when Kayla yanked his fist back. "How dare you, you son of a bitch!" Tom yelled.

"How dare _you_! Look at what chaos your family has caused mine!" Charlie was ready to swing too.

"Dad, shut up!" I yelled, desperate for this to end.

"Stay out of this, Bella!" Charlie yelled, while Nate held me back.

"Nothing that Ryann did was my parents fault!" Nate yelled.

"Everyone just shut up!" Kayla screamed, abruptly silencing all of us. I looked back to see, three more officers staring at us. Charlie turned and around and told them to go back inside. Kayla took a deep breath, and grabbed her husband's arm. "Get in the car, Tom." She directed. Not even Tom had the courage to stand up to her tone. "Nate, you too."

"No, mom. I'm not leaving Princess with him." Nate shook his head.

Kayla looked between him and Charlie then me. She finally shook her head. "Baby, this is a lost fight. We can't fix _this_. This is between Bella and her father now." Her voice softened but only hardened when she looked at Charlie.

Nate rolled his eyes but remained unmoved. "Nate, go. I don't need protection from my dad." Nate sighed. "Nathann..." I started. I swore I saw Charlie chuckled at my tone.

"Fine. Call me if you need me." He let go of me and walked to the car, getting in the back seat.

Kayla just looked at Charlie for a minute. "You better stop focusing on what _we've_ done wrong and take a look in the mirror, Chief. You are no better of a parent than me or Tom or _Renee_ for that matter. And you have no right to judge us or our daughter." She didn't wait for a response, she just walked away.

Charlie didn't look at me. "Get in the car." I obligated. We didn't talk until halfway home. "The school wants to suspend you and Nate." Charlie said, finally.

"What! They can't do that!" I exclaimed.

"Yes. Yes, they can."

"So, what! You're just going to let them? Real nice, dad!" I slammed my fist down on the dashboard.

Charlie didn't speak for a minute. "There's nothing I can do, Bella."

"Sure, dad. Sure." I glared out my window. I didn't actually want to be suspended. I know, I've gotten in trouble before but I've never had any permanent punishment like that. Not even when Nate and me vandalized the school. "Mom would have at least tried to help me." I mumbled quietly.

Charlie didn't respond, which actually was pissing me off more than it would on any other day.

"Uh!" I moaned, very loud as I got out of the police cruiser.

"Calm down, young lady!" Charlie scolded.

"Shut up!" I yelled, slamming the door.

"Don't tell me-" I tuned him out. I didn't care to hear his lectures. I walked upstairs and slammed the door to my room. I dialed Ricky as fast as I could.

"Hello?" His voice rang out.

"I hate that S.O.B that's apparently my father," I exclaimed.

"Princess?"

"Who else?" I groaned.

He laughed. "What an entrance." Okay, wait. The voice here was off.

"Who is this?" I asked.

"Mason?" He said slowly.

"Holy crap!" I exclaimed. He laughed. "I'm sorry." I said laughing too. "I thought I dialed Ricky."

"It's fine," He laughed. "Well, now I know what everyone's been saying."

"Huh?"

"Everyone is talking about your dad." Really. I thought my friends had lives.

"What are they saying?"

"That you and him don't get along and he spread rumors and made you a small town whore."

"Wow."

"How off were they?"

"They were dead on."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. My dad sure is something right?"

"Yeah. Something that belongs in the toilet." Mason laughed.

I did too. "I'm sick of talking about him, though. So, how's it in Phoenix?"

"You started the conversation about him," He pointed out. Leave it to Mason to correct you so he's always right. The boy never changes, "but it's sunny here. How's Forks?"

"Rainy."

"Surprise, surprise."

"No kidding." I rolled my eyes. "So how is everyone?" I asked.

I could almost feel him shrugging. "Briee and Casey and Dustin are pretty pissed."

"At me?"

"Yeah."

"For leaving?" I guessed.

He was silent for a moment. "Come on, Isabel. You had to know that by leaving were hurting some people."

"I was hurting, myself, you know."

He sighed. "I know. Some warning would have been nice though. Or you could pick up your phone, when we call."

"I'm hanging up if you don't get in a better mood."

"Okay, fine, sorry. So how's it been since Francia left?"

"Um, I started acting like I did in Phoenix again."

"I heard. How many guys have hit on you?"

"Not too many. They're afraid of girls hating them." I snickered. "Besides, I kinda taken."

"Heard 'bout that too. What's his name?"

"Edward Cullen."

"Sounds like a boul movement."

"Massy!"

He laughed. "Okay, okay. Sorry. I'll stop jabbing your boyfriend."

"So how's _your_ love life?"

"I'm dating Miranda again..." He said slowly.

"Eww."

"She nice!"

"In bed?"

"That too."

"You're nasty." My nose wrinkled.

"You brought it up, drama Princess."

"I know."

Me and Mason talked a little longer but eventually his dad showed up to take him to get a new car. Mason is rich. End of story.

I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be with Edward...Or Nate. I sighed. Where the hell is Nate anyway? Did he go home? I wondered if Charlie caused his parents trouble. I know they fight a lot. And I know it makes Nate and the rest of his siblings appear invisible.

I rolled my eyes. Charlie mentioning Ryann and Claire was below the belt. How did people find out about her yet? I didn't know she'd gone public. I didn't know they've been here long enough to go public.

I sighed, laying back on my twin sized bed. For the first time, I missed my queen size pink bed. And my huge room that Mason paid for. And my walk in closet. And my balcony. I missed it all. I sighed. Renee never did sell that house. If I remember correctly all my things are still in that room. That little fact only made me miss it more.

Suddenly, I heard a crack of lightening. I jumped up off my bed and hit the wall, in the process of scrambling out of my room. "Dad!" I yelled.

Charlie came running into view, the landline phone in his hands. "What is it?" He turned towards me urgently.

"T-tthe lightinnn-ening." I stuttered.

Charlie stared at me for a moment. "The lightening?" His forehead wrinkled. "Bella, it's just thunder and lightening. Calm down." He set the phone down and walked away.

I stood on the top of the staircase, shaking. Okay, maybe it's only lightening but he had no idea why it freaked me out.

Nope, and only one person did.

Because they were there. Even if I told my dad now why I was afraid and why I can't stand being alone and why I will randomly start hyperventilating and why I get all fidgety, even if I told him every last foggy memory or every last detail or scent I smelt or everyone I touched, he still hadn't been there.

I sighed, walking down the stairs. I was going out. Somewhere. I just couldn't stand being couped up or alone. "I'm leaving." I called.

"Where you going?" Charlie asked as I shut the door mid sentence.

I stumbled down the steps and went to my truck. I turned the key in the ignition. It didn't start. I tried again and again. The damn thing wouldn't move. I tried and tried and tried, until my feet ached in my high heels and I was so frustrated, I was ready to scream. I jumped out of the car and almost tripped. Luckily, I caught myself, and steadily walked away from the truck, house and driveway.

There was no way I was staying here, tonight. I couldn't. I decided to walk somewhere. Anywhere. Until the lightning ended, I was going to somewhere else. Or just walk until it was gone.

I couldn't stay. I just couldn't. There was no way I could keep it together if I did. I remembered the only other thunderstorm I had ever experienced, since I moved to Forks. Edward had been hunting then too, and I had called him to come get me and take me to his house. I was a hysterical mess then too. Edward bought the excuse I was scared of them.

And I was. Just not for the reasons he thought.

By this time, I hadn't gotten far. I was still walking about five minutes away from my house. I sighed, knowing my plan was stupid. I knew it all along. I was never coordinated, even if I was attractive, to some men. There was no way I'd survive walking out of city on my own two feet, no matter how small that city may be.

I still didn't slow my steps. I was vaguely aware of the traffic next to me. A few cars came and went, two or three maybe. I didn't pay them any mind until one stopped right next to me.

"Hey, Bella?" It was Janelle. I jumped. "Sorry!" She exclaimed. "I didn't mean to scare you. I was just wondering if you wanted a ride?"

I stared at her for a minute. How could she still be so nice to me? Did those kinds of people still exist? Even after everything I've done? I didn't deserve Edward still being nice to me or Nate still wanting to talk to me, let alone someone who I'd totally paid no attention to or been grateful to for still being decent to me.

"Bella?" She asked, again to my silence. I snapped out of it.

"No." I forced a smile. "But thanks, Janelle."

"You sure? It looks pretty nasty out there..." She trailed off.

I, for the first time, noticed I was soaking wet. "I'm sure." I still said.

"Okay..." She said, unsure. She still watched me for a minute until she rolled up her window and drove away.

I continued walking, turning street to street, not knowing where I was going. How did I manage to get lost in Forks, for God's sake! Only me...I sighed again. All I knew is I couldn't call Charlie. He was pissed enough and I was more than ready to tell him some more of how I felt, but not like this. I felt small and weak and vulnerable right now. I didn't want another fight, because honestly right now, I felt like seeing a dead dog would make me bawl.

"Princess?" A hot voice called, shocked.

"Naty!" I yelled, a little too happy to see him, as I ran into his arms. He automatically lifted me up, shielding me from the storm.

I buried myself in his arms, completely and utterly emotional. I couldn't control it anymore and I started crying. I let my tears fall free. He wrapped my tighter in his arms, allowing me to sob into his shoulder. He didn't move. He just rubbed my back while I sobbed.

Then he said those three words I needed to hear. "I get it."

**AN: Awe, I adore that last line. Think of the significance of it...Okay, I really sound like I'm on drugs. **

**And btw, I WAS going to put in WHY she's upset by thunderstorms and how he gets it, and it may seem completely obvious or not, but it will still be explained in the next chapter. And that car accident a few chapters back will be explained too. But not till later….**

**Okay, so review! Please!**

**I'll give you a special shutout of you review, I swear!**

**Great, now I'm bribing people.**

**AAHAHAHHAA :)**


	40. Chapter 39: Flashback: Novalee's Birth

**AN: DAMN, the paragraphs for the reviewers probably took longer than the chapter itself! Hahahaha please review! Okay, I'll keep this part short because the next part is long. Love ya'll. K, read. Chapter below. K, thanks :)**

**twilight1alice, I think you only started reviewing two chapters back but I remember it was your review that got me off my butt and made me update. I love getting review like the one you gave me, that says this is the best story you've ever read and it flows really well because I can't hear it from people other than my reviewers. I don't tell people about this story, so no one knows. So I love getting reviews telling me things like that. It also makes you stick out as a reviewer to me, so I recognize you every time you every time I get an email saying: you got a review. Anyhoos I hope you read and review till the very end of the story. :D**

**Alyce-Cullen, I know you say you suck at review but the fact that you clicked that button actually made my day :) I don't care what you say just as long as you told me you read it. I hope you keep on reviewing because it makes me happy and makes me motivated to write. :) PS, I don't think you suck at reviewing lol.**

**HappyKitty95, Hahahaha you're litterly a lot of the reason I update. I love getting your reviews and I wait to see what you're going to write. I love how long your reviews are and after you review, I get inspiration to write. It flatters me that you think I am a good storyteller because in reality I've never shared anything I've ever written, even with friends I've had for decades. I'm really insecure with my writing skills and I'm glad you're there to build my confidence. I REALLY REALLY REALLY hope you keep reviewing me. In fact, I think I need it ;)**

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**twilightocd94, I see your name a lot on my reviewers' list. I love being able to recognize the names of people reading my story because it makes me happy to know people are coming back for more. Honestly, sometimes I'll write something but be afraid it'll make people stop reading, so it really relives me, knowing you've reviewed multiple chapters.**

**simplynessiecullen, I try to update as soon as I can but when I don't feel up to writing, your reviews help me by knowing someone out there is reading my story. I hope you know it means a lot to me. And I think your username is adorbs! Lol, I hope you keep updating and liking what you read. **

**ashleygreenpink, Wow, I remember the first time you ever reviewed me. I was like 13(as opposed to my fifteeness now). I remember it making me feel so happy for so long, because someone promised to read my story no matter what I did with it. When I stopped writing for six months, your reviewing is a big reason why I came back. Hahahaha I usually wait for you to review so I can update, because I want to know what you have to say. I feel like I know you in person sometimes, because I ask for your advise A LOT. I'd be SO very sad if you stopped reviewing me :'(. So I hope that doesn't happen. ;)(Btw, is that u that added me on Facebook?)**

**ashrachellexx, haahha I don't know yet who Bella'll be with. Vote in my poll on my profile and see where it goes. So far, it is in Nate's favor but that could change or not. **

**i'm in the looney bin, Aw I hope those tears are a good thing. I'm glad I can appeal to the readers' emotions but I feel bad when I make you full on cry.**

**nickie34love, Thanks for loving my story. It really means a lot to me :) I couldn't write this without people who loved it. Btw, I love how teenage Edward is too ;)**

**VAMPIRE406, Hahahaha well this is an update and we'll see about that. No promises either way :) And thanks for reviewing, I hope to hear from you again. **

**my brand of orange pancakes, I love your reviews! I'm glad I waited to update to get yours :D But I feel bad now because Edward probably wont find out about the fake sex for a few more chapters. I'll try to get them out as soon as I can, but the more reviews I can get, the more I feel opted to write so hang in there and keep reviewing and you'll see his reaction :)**

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**Disclaimer to take up more room: I own nothing here but the plot and my characters but I still have to put this in every chapter. But I'm okay with it. I like writing a disclaimer, only to say the same thing in so many chapters. Really it puts a smile on my face and just keeps me beaming through out the day. Okay, it's 1:18 AM so I'll leave this disclaimer alone. K, bye.**

_October 11_

"Hey, Naty! Get me something to drink!" I called, laughing my ass off. Or my pregnant belly off. Whatever sounded better.

"You're really porkin' out, Princess." Nate called back to me, from the condo's kitchen.

"I'm already fat, Nate." I glared. Only he would point this out to me.

He walked back in with brownies in his hand. "You're actually skinny...For a pregnant chick." Nate laughed.

"You're such a prick." I mumbled through a full mouth of chocolately goodness.

"I love you." He crooned, mocking me.

"I love you too," I mumbled, almost impossible to hear. I think, it was the baby speaking that time though. I love Nate, no doubt, but Hannah or Loraina or Novalee or Riley or Josslyn or Lila-haven't named her yet-love their daddy. It was obvious because everytime he came over-which was nearly everyday and night now that Renee had decided nothing worse could happen-she'd kick so hard it gave me cramps. I never read that in any baby book so we went to the hospital to get it all checked out. I was taking no chances with my baby.

I groaned. "What is it?" He asked, suddenly alert. He had been freaking out for weeks, everytime I made a wrong sound, he'd think I was going into labor.

"I have to pee. Help me up." I ordered.

Nate easily helped me up and wrapped one arm around me waist, holsting me up the stairs. "You really are the shortest pregnant girl I've ever met."

"I know, right!" I exclaimed, excited.

Nate laughed, quiet. "Hormones, again?" I smacked his arm. "Guess so..."

He helped me into the bathroom and into my room. Nate had pretty much helped me do everything since I got big enough that I couldn't see my feet. That was three months ago. Now I'm eight and three weeks pregnant.

"Nate, could you rub my back?" I asked, after he laid down next to me on my bed.

"Sure thing, baby." Nate kissed my cheek. He lifted my shirt and started massaging my back. "Can I ask a question, Bella?"

"Yeah?" I said, half asleep.

"Why are you wearing all black?" He gestured to my black maternity nursing top and my black, stretchy mini skirt. "I don't want an emo child."

"It's slimming." I mumbled.

Nate laughed out loud to me. "Slimming? Princess, you're pregnant. You're not gonna be slim till this kid comes out." He pulled my shirt back down and pulled me closer to him, with my big belly lying across him.

"Any day now..." I said, expectantly. I lifted my shirt to show my gigantic belly. Nate looked down at it in awe.

He placed his hand over it. "Hey, baby girl. You're going to be coming out anytime now. And mommy and daddy will be here. And we're gonna do everything we can to give you whatever you want. Except boys because you're not aloud to those till you're thirty. At the youngest."

I shoved Nate's head. "I want grandkids, Nathann."

"We're sixteen, Isabel! We're too young to be having the first one!" I laughed at how worked up he got.

"Since when have we ever done anything normal," I giggled.

"Don't act like that or else people are gonna think we planned this."

"Because everyone wants to get pregnant at fifteen."

"We're sixteen now." He pointed out.

"Eight months later."

"Eight months wiser."

I just laughed. "You're such a dork."

Nate leaned over and kissed me. "But I'm your dork."

I smiled, so bright it could have blinded the universe. "Yes, you are."

"And I'll always be." He beamed, looking at the ceiling.

"That'll never change." I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Not for a second. All of a sudden I felt a _thump_. "Nate!" I exclaimed, quietly, almost as if I yelled loud enough I'd scare her quiet.

"What?" He was alert again.

"Calm down, butthead." I grabbed his hand and placed it in the exact place I felt the kick. Both of us were in awe again.

He leaned down and kissed my stomach. "Hey, sweetie. How's it feel in mommy's tummy? I know it's cramped. I'd wanna get out of there as soon as I can." I rolled my eyes.

"You're ruining the moment, babe." I commented at ease.

Nate's eyes glazed over. He put his hand on my stomach. "Your daddy loves you so much." Nate whispered to our daughter. In that moment, the baby kicked again. In the exact place of Nate's hand. Nate looked up, bewildered. "Bella, she's kicking. For me!" He exclaimed, like I bought him his favorite gift.

"I know, Naty. I feel her."

Nate smiled, huge and it almost looked painful. When she stopped kicking, I struggled to sit up. Nate helped me up and waddle to the balcony. "You sure you should be standing?" Nate asked.

"It won't detach the placenta." I snapped, looking over the town of Phoenix from my balcony. I felt like I could see the whole world from up here. "Nate?" I said, softly.

"What is it?" He asked just as softly.

My eyes were filling up, I know it. "Nate, it's just, everyone is saying things like 'You didn't get pregnant on purpose, did you?' and 'Aren't you too young to be a mom?' and I know I'm too young and everything, it's just..." I trailed off. Nate was still watching me.

"What is it, sweetheart?" He asked, kissing my forehead, trying to comfort me.

I sighed. "I don't think she's a mistake, Naty. I think she may be unplanned but never a mistake."

Nate was silent for a minute. "I'm with you a hundred percent."

"If anyone tells my kid she's a mistake, I'll beat the crap out of them." I mumbled.

"I'll kill them." Nate said, loud and clear. I laughed.

I sighed, looking out into the city, from the heighten balcony I was standing on. "I'm glad she's gonna grow up here."

"Me too."

"I mean, she'll know be able to see the sun everyday and spend all her time in the parks and playgrounds that you can't do in rainy towns."

"And all our families are here."

I laughed, "That too."

Nate smiled again. "Is it wrong that I don't feel like I've made the hugest mistake of my life by getting you pregnant? Maybe it was fate. God works in mysterious ways, you know?"

"I know, boo."

Nate smiled again. "We're really going to be parents?" He asked, again, beaming. "I can't wait to hold her..." He trailed off.

"I'm first!" I immediately yelped.

Nate chuckled. I'd been animate for weeks that I was the first to hold her. "Of course, Princess."

"Thank you," I beamed again.

"I can't wait to see her and to feed her and to take her places..." He kept listing things off. "I swear, on all our lives, Princess, that I'll be the best father and never take another sip of booze or anything bad and I'll work all the time and make sure she has every single opportunity we didn't."

I smiled. "I will too."

"We are going to do this and make a better life for her-" Nate went on.

"And our other kids eventually." I interrupted.

"Hopefully we'll wait on them till we have high school diplomas."

"And we'll do it together." I grabbed his arm.

"Never have it any other way." He leaned his head on top of mine.

"Nate," I started again. "I-I-I know we have our fair share of fights-"

"More than our fair share." Nate chuckled

I went on. "But...I love you, _so much_ and I never wanna be without you. Ever. You and her," I placed my hand upon my tummy. "Are my world."

Nate looked me in the eyes. "Isabella" This must be the first time he's ever called me that. "I love you...more than my own life. Our baby and you are all I've ever wanted. I'll never leave you...And if you leave me, I'll find you."

"You better." I smiled, then shook my head. "I'll never get rid of you, will I?" I asked, rhetorically.

"Nope." He smiled.

"Good." I whispered.

At that moment exactly, a lightning bolt shot across the sky, a flash shooting off every surface. I screamed. "Princess!" Nate exclaimed, thinking I was going into labor. "My god, Nate, I just screamed." I laughed at his jumpiness.

Nate sighed, glad that nothing had happened. Water came pouring out of the sky, buckets upon buckets at a time. "Let's go in, Princess. It's wet out here." He motioned.

"Nope." I said, brightly, watching the sky, as another lightning bolt flashed.

"Princess, you're going to get you and our baby sick." He warned, over protective.

I felt a kick from the baby. "Nope. She loves it."

"You're getting wet, Isabel."

"So are you." I lifted my face, feeling the water, warm and watery, land on my face. I hated the rain, always have, but right now it felt good and right and like everything was going to work out.

I watched as lightning struck the sky again in fascination. "You're tired." Nate said, softly. I sighed, caving. I really hoped after I have this kid, Nate would pull that stick out of his ass.

He guided me back in my room. "Okay, fine. You win. I'll go to sleep, for you." Okay, so I was a little tired. Carrying another life on a ninety-five pound body isn't as easy as it sounds.

"Thanks." He murmured, kissing my temple. Nate helped me out of my wet clothes and into bed.

"You gotta sleep with me..." I tugged on his arm, downwards.

"Isn't that what got us here in the first place?"

"Nate, please."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course."

He laid down next to me. I snuggled up to him, laying almost completely on him. He never complained about the extra weight. "I love you." I said again, to both Nate and our daughter.

"I love you too." Nate whispered, his hand rubbing my leg, up and down, soft and gentle.

And I felt the baby kick.

When I woke up, I looked at the clock. It read 12:32pm. Renee wasn't going to be back till later. She left Nate and me alone, not caring if we had sex or not-which we never did, call me insecure but I was not comfortable being sexually intimate while I weighed 30 extra pounds.

I groaned, trying to wake Nate up. He slept like he was dead. I rolled out of bed and walked into the bathroom down the hall to pee. This baby was really using my bladder.

After I was done, I managed to fix my mini skirt and wash my hands on my own. I was about to flush the toilet when the water from the sink spilled on me. I didn't even know the faucet was still running. I looked over.

It wasn't.

I looked down in what seemed like slow motion. My entire skirt was soaked but it felt different. Not like pee or water. Then it clicked.

"NATE!" I screamed louder than ever.

I heard him thump out of my bed and come running into the bathroom, as the lights flickered off. He looked up, "I think you're light burned out, Princess?" He stated, dumbly.

"MY WATER JUST BROKE!" I screamed.

He looked at me immediately. "What!"

I looked down, feeling myself start to cry. "This is so gross."

"Bella, it's going to be okay. I'm going to go get help." Nate stated, obviously trying to keep me calm, knowing that making me more upset would be dangerous.

"Nate, turn on the light!" I yelled. He reached over to but nothing came on.

"Crap. Hold on!" He yelled, running down the stairs. He was gone for minutes.

Shit! How the hell am I supposed to have a kid with no light and no mother and no clue! I started to cry harder, scared. What if something happened to my baby?

Nate came running up the stairs with a flashlight. "All the power in the neighborhood is out, Princess." Nate informed me.

"What!"

"Keep calm, Princess. It'll be fine. I'll fix it, I promise." He swore to me, wrapping the arm that didn't have the flashlight around my waist and helped me waddle to my room and out my glass door to the balcony, to a pouring down thunderstorm. Nate got in front of me. "Hey, baby, just sit tight, okay?" He kissed my head then ran out the door.

Then I felt a cramp type thing...I think. Was it a cramp...

Then all the knowledge I learned in birthing classes came back to me. It was a starter contraction.

"Fuck." I swore, not caring that I'd also learned that a baby easily recognizes their mother's voice by this stage of development.

I watched another bolt crack across the sky. Why did it have to do this tonight! "Bella," Nate called to me, running towards me. "Don't panic, honey, but..." He stopped

"What!" I yelled at him

"Both our phones are dead." He said, his hands rubbing my stomach.

"What!" I screamed.

"Shhh." He hushed me. "Stay calm," He murmured. Stay calm? Is he freaking nuts! I'm going to have a baby on the balcony of my house and he wants me to stay calm! Nate stroked my hair. "I'll fix everything. Don't worry."

"Nate-" I yelled but he ran back inside before I could finish. I shivered, noticing the storm was soaking me. It was freezing. Like ice or snow. Why is it that it never rains in Phoenix, ever but when I'm going into labor. I guess I haven't been run over by a car lately so this must be God's way of telling me he still cares.

"Sorry, God." I said a minute later. I was going to need his help if I was going to get through this. "God, please have this baby come out alright." I begged. I stared at the sky, almost as if I expected a vocal response. "Forget me," I said. "Just save her."

I heard a faint ring at the downstairs door as another bolt of lightning cracked. In the same moment, I felt another contraction come on. It wasn't horrible for the most part. I could handle it.

"Princess!" Taylor yelled, rushing into the storm. I hugged her tightly. "Shh, it's going to be okay." She promised, hugging me back.

"What if it's not!" I cried into her shoulder.

"It will be," She promised.

Taylor looked over my head, pretty hard being an inch shorter than me-which was quite the accomplishment. "Star, save her. Save my baby!" I cried, hysterical.

"Princess!" She yelled, gripping me by the shoulders. "You are both going to be alright!" She yelled as a crack of lightning came across the sky.

At the same time, I felt another contraction. I moaned, unsure what to do. "Where's Nate?" I cried.

"He went looking for another flashlight. The first burnt out." She said, quickly. "He doesn't want you in the house, because he think the lighting is better out here incase-" She abruptly cut herself off.

"Incase what?" I prompted, panting over stress and anxiety, gripping my belly.

"Incase you have to deliver here." Taylor said, sheepishly.

"No." I whispered, broken. My baby couldn't be born in a thunderstorm. She just couldn't. "No!" I exclaimed. "Star, please do something!" I begged, desperate. "Please!" I cried, falling backwards, against the wall of my room.

Nate came racing back in. "Baby, it's okay." Nate murmured, obviously hearing me downstairs. He knelt down beside me, wrapping his arms around me the best he could. I felt him kiss my head, repeatedly. Like he was desperate too. Taylor was looking over the balcony, down towards the streets. "Bella, just breathe in and out slowly for me," Nate instructed, pushing my hair back. I don't know when Nate became a caretaker but it worked.

Taylor pushed off the railing, running out the door. "I'm gonna get help!" She called down the stairs.

I buried my face into Nate's shoulder. "I'm scared, Naty." I cried, again.

"Princess, you know we're going to get through this." Nate said, knowingly. "I know you. You'll be fine, even if you have to deliver on this balcony with no one but me here." Somehow he didn't seem like he was joking.

"I can't do this!" I sobbed.

"Yes, you can. Bella, I love you. There's nothing we can't do." He promised.

I narrowed my eyes at him, my hands still on my belly. "You're turning into a halmark card, Nate."

"You're turning into a drama queen." I made a face at him. Nate laughed as he wiped my tears off my face.

I heard faint shouting from far away, less than two minutes later. I realized after the third, 'Help!' that it was Taylor. She was running in a thunderstorm, during a power outage for me. I was touched. Or I was until the next contraction hit.

Nate held my hand and comforted me, till the contraction was over. It wasn't very long. "Nate, since when did you learn to guide women through contractions?" I asked, still gasping.

Nate looked at me, seriously. "My first memory. You know, it was the only time I've ever respected my father." He told me. "When Aidenn was born, my mom went into labor in the middle of a traffic jam. She refused to make a scene even in child labor, so me, Ryann, Summer and my parents were in the car, and she was having contractions and yelling and crying. My dad stepped in and guided her through it, till Aidenn was born."

"Aidenn was born in the car?" I asked. It was rare I didn't know something about Nate.

"Yeah. See, Princess, if my rents can do it, so can we." He assured me.

I groaned, wanting a distraction from my current situation. "I don't wanna have the baby here!" I snapped.

"Then you won't." He promised. "Taylor's getting help."

"Why are you just sitting here?" I snapped again.

"Because I won't leave you alone." Nate murdered, rubbing my hair.

I huffed but gave up on fighting. Nate had been giving me whatever I wanted for a while, so our usual bickers became a game of, if I could annoy Nate. Nate usually won.

He said he was only keeping peace for the baby and once the baby was born, he'd give it all he had.

I felt another contraction hit me. "Mmmm," I moaned. Nate's arms instantly wrapped tighter around me. "That one was harder." I mumbled.

"It's okay, baby." I felt Nate kiss my head. "We'll get through this." I nodded, slowly but wasn't reassured. Nate unwrapped himself from me. "Princess, it's too dark out here. I'm going to find another flashlight," He informed, standing up.

"No!" I moaned.

"I'll be right back." He promised. I watched as Nate ran inside the house and disappeared from sight.

"Thought you said you wouldn't leave me alone?" I snapped. Suddenly, I was alone and scared. I felt another contraction come on, this time stronger. I felt my tears come out of my eyes. I didn't know what to do. Well, I wasn't about to be a damsel in distress. I'm going to be a mother, I better start acting like one. I needed to figure out a way to get someone to help me or at the very least, hear me.

I scooted away from the wall that my back was up against. I pushed myself forward, not bothering to try and stand up. I awkwardly pushed myself around the balcony. I wasn't quite sure what my objective was here but I couldn't just do nothing. "Nate!" I yelled, as the rain got harder. I was completely soaked from head to toe but I was beyond caring.

"Help!" I screamed, to the sky, hoping an angel would come at this rate. It was getting mistier but that may have just been me, considering I was probably crying at this point. "I really need someone to help me!" I called, my sobs breaking through my voice. I looked downwards, only then to realize that I lived in an complex building. Other people lived her.

Before I could curse myself for being so stupid and ignorant, I felt a contraction come again. I needed to hurry up and get downstairs and to the hallway where people could hear me. Stupid asshole Nate for putting me out here, believing the lighting would be better. I was going to ring his neck, not only for that, but for getting me pregnant in the first place.

I gripped the railing, my hands curling around it, pulling myself up till I was standing. I waddled into the house, gasping, not sure what the hell I was going to do. I barely made it through the doors to my room before I was breathless.

There was no way I could get from here to the hallway, down the stairs, to the living room/kitchen, then out the door. I couldn't do it. My legs gave out and I landed on my pink bed, feeling sweat break out across my forehead, moaning, but no longer having my voice, for the first time ever.

I heard footsteps coming but that's the last thing I heard. From that moment on, I couldn't hear anything. Not the talking, the yelling, the screaming, the gasping. I couldn't see anything either, all was black to me.

I only heard the rain.

Pounding outside, on the forgotten balcony. I heard the lightning strike and the thunder boom but nothing else happened. Or nothing else registered in my brain. Everything was numb.

It was easier that way.

I only had one conscience thought for what seemed like a lifetime.

_My baby_

X.

When I opened my eyes, everything was bright. I instinctively gripped my tummy, but suddenly felt empty. I flew upwards, searching my surroundings. "Nate!" I called, terrified of being alone.

I looked around the room, only to realize I was lying in the hospital. The room was pink, and my pillows were fluffy and there were at least a dozen roses on the table in the corner. Beyond the table, I spotted a guy sleeping in a chair.

At first I wondered, why the hell is there a random dude in the corner of my room, right before I realized that he was my boyfriend.

Before I could throw something at him, a nurse came running in. "Oh, darlin', are you awake?" A nurse, somewhat young with strawberry blonde hair and silver eyes, wearing child friendly scrubs, asked me, in a concerned southern-probably Texas, she sounded like Nate's mom-accent.

"No. I'm sleep talking to you." I spouted.

"Huh?" She raised an eyebrow, tucking the sheets around me tighter.

"Never mind, bubble butt blonde." To my utter shock, she laughed at my rudeness.

"Would ya'll like more drugs or do you wanna meet that little doll of yours?" She asked, wryly.

"Little doll?" I asked, not following her now.

"Your baby." She clarified.

Then it hit me. Why I was here. Why didn't it compute before? Of course, the last thing I remember was going into labor.

"Sweet pea, are you alright?" She asked, sitting on the edge of my bed, quickly, stroking my hair. I didn't realize I was probably crying.

"What happened?" I squeaked. "Where's my baby? Is she all right? Please tell me she's alright!" I exclaimed. "Wait, please tell me it's a she."

The nurse laughed. "Yes, it's a girl." She murmured.

I didn't relax at all. "How did I get here?" I asked, quietly.

The nurse placed her hand on my cheek, softly, wiping my tears back. "Hon-"

"Wait!" I held my hands up, abruptly. "What's your name?" I asked, quickly.

"What?"

"I feel weird talking to someone about my own life without knowing their name." I exclaimed, as it was obviously obvious.

She laughed, opening her mouth to show her perfect white teeth, against her pink lipstick, all cream and roses against her tan skin. I envied her for a moment. "Well, my name is Lexi Starla Hunt. I was born and raised in Texas but spent some time in Alabama and Georgia. I was a cheerleader and I-"

"I don't care." I interrupted. "I just wanted to know your name, not your life story. I want to know what happened to me now."

She rolled her eyes. "Aren't you polite?"

"I'm in the hospital bed, aren't I? You should let me get away with more than usual." I stretched.

Lexi rolled her eyes. "You get away with a lot, don't you?"

"I've found ways that work for me."

"The only thing that works for you, little miss Isabella, is the fact that you're cute as a button and tiny as all get out. You remind me of my little girl, only she's about seven-"

"I don't care. I wanna hear about what happened...last night?" I interrupted.

Lexi nodded. "You went into labor right as the power went out in your neighborhood. You're little friend, um Mariah?" She looked for conformation.

"Taylor?" I asked, quizzily.

"Her hospital records said Mariah." She contradicted.

"Yeah, it's her first name. Now, let's get on with the story. What'd Taylor do?"

"Well, she ran to the fire station and got an ambulance for you."

My eyes widened. "What?" The fire station couldn't be farther from house. I knew Taylor was on track but I didn't know she could run that fast.

She nodded. "You have a really amazing friend, Isabella."

I sniffed. "I know." I whispered. Lexi wiped my face with her hand again.

"Your boyfriend didn't leave you once, except to deliver the baby..." She trailed off. "It got bad enough that you fainted, right as the paramedics came. They rushed to the hospital in record time. They did an emergency C-section immediately. Your daughter is beautiful." She complimented. "Like her mom." She smiled. "Let's hope she's not as mean as mommy though." I rolled my eyes.

"She will be." I smiled, beaming now. "But, she's all right?" I asked, suddenly worried. Why wasn't that my first question? Suddenly, every emotion I'd had since I got pregnant came rushing back to me. "Is my baby okay?" I asked, frantic.

"She's fine, perfect, absolutely perfect." Lexi chanted, calming me.

Then I became hysterical. "Oh my god! I just had a kid!" I looked at the nurse. "I can't do this! I'm only a sophomore!" I continued before she could get a word in. "And I can't drop out! My mom is poor and my dad doesn't even know I was pregnant! The next thing you know I'll be saying, 'Do you want fries with that!'"

"Calm down, hon." The nurse patted my arm.

"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this!" I screamed. "I'm gonna be terrible, I just know it."

Lexi just smirked at me and shook her head. "I _know_ what you need." She smiled then flitted from the room, to return two minutes later with a baby in her arms. My baby...

Lexi reached down and placed the baby in my arms, which somehow figured how to form the correct shape of a cradle. I saw her face for the first time. The little thing I'd carried for month to month, that I'd talked to, that I'd loved. She was in my arms, safe and warm.

She was innocent. Nothing I had done wrong had changed her view of me. She had never done anything wrong. She was perfect. She had Nate's hair color but the same eyes as my grandma.

The grandma that had practically raised and taken me everywhere and paid for me and supported me and died right in front of me. Somehow her legacy lived on through me to my own child.

I felt so much in that moment but more than anything I realized why I'd lived to this point. Why I was here. Why I didn't care what people in school said. Why my dad could suck it. Why nothing I'd done wrong or anything Nate had done wrong or how our parents were or even the circumstances she was born under and into mattered. All that mattered was she was mine, forever and could never be anyone else's. Why I'd trade my life for her's in a second.

"How is it possible to love someone so much that you just met?" I asked, as I felt tears spill over. Happy tears...

Lexi shook her head. She wrapped her hand around my wrist. "When it's your child, anything is possible." She promised me. I smiled at her once then turned back to my baby.

My daughter smiled at me and I knew I was complete.

I smiled back, coming to a decision. "Hi, Novalee." I cooed.

"You already named her?" Lexi asked, softly.

I nodded, not looking away. Everything felt so clear now. "It was my best friend who got the ambulance. Without her, I don't know what would have happened. She saved my daughter's life."

"Mariah or Taylor or whoever?" She asked, curious.

I nodded. "Her nickname is Star." I said simply. Lexi gave me a weird look. I rolled my eyes. "Nova means star." I said as if I was talking to a five year old.

Lexi smiled. "I see."

I continued to stare down at my baby, seeing my entire world in that little face. I didn't care how old I was or what could all go wrong. Novalee was the light in what could have been a gloomy life.

She would always be mine. And no one could take that moment away from me.

**AN: Hahaha, Sorry that update took so long. I've been having emotional issues but I'm going to speedily update now. Plus this chapter was hard for me to write for some reason. **

**Anywhoo, I wuv u all and wanna hear your opinion on this chap so please review. Love it, hate it, constructive criticism is fine too, anything, just review. It only takes a second and means so dang much to me. Thank you :)**


	41. Chapter 40: Thunder and Lightning

**AN: I probably would have held off on the update a bit more but it's been two years since I started writing this story. Two years! Honestly, I thought I'd be done by now but I haven't really been on top of updating it so great lately so that's why. Anyway, please please please review. It makes me feel good and it makes me write more and it makes me update quicker which hopefully makes you feel good. So please review. Say anything.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. But who does on this site?**

"Shhh," Nate murmured to me. He pulled back a little and unzipped his jacket, wrapping it around me who was shivering, then he wrapped one arm around me and towed me in the opposite direction. We were walking down the sidewalk for a few minutes in silence when I collected myself enough to speak.

"Sorry." I mumbled. Nate looked at me, questioningly. "For breaking down like that."

Nate laughed, quietly, barely audible. "Yeah, well it wasn't much of a breakdown, for you," He teased.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I cry a lot. Rub in it." I rolled my eyes.

Nate laughed again and hugged me tighter to his side. "I'm used to it, between you and Summer and Claire and especially Juliannah. She cries a lot!" He exclaimed.

"You love Juli." I said, more as an accusation than a statement.

"What's your point?"

"Such a brother." I mumbled.

"Like you would know." He said, lightly.

"I have Ricky." I pointed out. "He's like a brother."

"Well, I got two brothers." Nate upped. I was taken back for a second. Why did he just mention Ryann?

"And one killed your daughter." I added sharply.

Nate froze, realization hitting him. He must not have known he'd included Ryann there. "I know." He whispered and looked away from me.

I bit my lip, "Nate-" I started.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore." Nate stated, cutting me off.

I stared at him as he towed me down the pavement, but he didn't say anything else and I didn't want to fight. Not like this. Not in the storm. I wrapped both arms around one of Nate's and clung to him for dear life, as the storm came down harder.

_"Help!" I screamed, to the sky_

I shuddered as a crack of lightning came, trying not to think. I wanted to be in autopilot, not reliving the past. I didn't want to remember that day.

_"I really need someone to help me!" I called, my sobs breaking through my voice._

I remembered the feelings so well. Feeling frustrated and helpless and scared and worried and annoyed and pissed and sad and happy and frightened and weird and numb and cold and hot, all at once.

_I waddled into the house, gasping, not sure what the hell I was going to do._

_I was breathless._

I felt hot tears coming up as the flashes went before my eyes. I remember the fear and frustration of not being able to walk.

But the worse came when I lost feeling.

_I only heard the rain._

It was only later that I realized that there was something worse than feeling numb. Not feeling numb. Feeling pain and loss and fear and anger. Feeling the loss of innocence. No longer being carefree. Experiencing more than most adults.

The only thing worse than feeling nothing is feeling everything.

First Novalee, then Taylor

_"You have a really amazing friend, Isabella."_

Lexi was right. One hundred and ten percent right. Taylor was amazing. I don't know anyone else who would have ran across a town as large as Phoenix to help a friend. Why didn't I thank her for hours on end? Why was I so selfish to only think of myself and being caught up in the moment?

Now, I can't thank her. She can't hear me. And I can't change for her to see.

X.

Nate towed me into a well-lit Victorian mansion not too long after. There was furniture there too. Expensive furniture at that and a huge staircase right next to the door.

"What is this place, Nate?" I asked, in awe.

"Me and Aidenn were exploring our first weekend here and we camped out here. No one lives in it." He assured me.

"If no one lives here, why is there furniture?" I asked.

"It's for sale but they won't be showing it in a storm. We're safe till it ends."

"Good." I shivered, hugging his jacket tighter around me.

"Are you okay, Princess?" He asked, sitting down on the first few steps up the staircase.

"Yeah," I bit my lip though.

"What's on your mind?" Nate asked, running a hand through my wet hair. I shook my head, trying to turn it away. "Come on, baby."

I rolled my eyes but didn't speak right away. I looked down at my hands, twiddling my thumbs. "I was remembering Novalee's birth."

I felt his arms come around me. He understood. I didn't have to explain. We didn't speak for a minute until I broke the silence. "Remember how cold it was?" I asked, quietly.

Nate laughed, quietly. "Remember how you wanted to be out there and I was trying to get you to come in without being mean."

_"You're getting wet, Isabel."_

_"So are you."_

_I lifted my face, feeling the water, warm and watery, land on my face. _

"Yeah, I remember. I was stupid." I mumbled.

Nate glanced at me. "The only thing stupid about you is that you just said that."

I shook my head. "God, it still kills me," I changed the subject abruptly. "Why did it have to be the only storm in Phoenix in like two years, the night I go into labor?" I asked, just to get the thought out.

Nate rolled his eyes. "Only you would go into labor during the worst thunderstorm in the last ninety years."

I laughed. "Only me." I mused, quietly.

"So..." Nate started. "Why were you out on the streets walking when I found you?" Nate asked.

"I think we bumped into each other." I corrected.

"Don't avoid the question, Bella." My name sounded weird on his mouth.

I hesitated. "Charlie has no idea about...my aversion to thunderstorms. And I couldn't take being in the house with him during one. It's worse than being alone."

I expected some harsh comment about Charlie but instead Nate nodded, pulling his arms back to himself. "At least he doesn't know. My parents are fully aware of Novalee's birth and neither remembered." Nate stated.

I bit my lip, once again, trying to find something to make him feel better. "Your parents were good today..."

"Yeah, at the police station." Nate snorted. "They were fighting when we got home and ended up locking me out of the house for an hour."

"Why didn't you come over to mine?" I asked, before I thought through my question.

Nate didn't find anything wrong with my accusation. "I didn't wanna face your dad too. Mine was bad enough, going on and on about how I ruined his life and how he wouldn't have any problems if it wasn't for me."

"I'm sorry, Naty," I whispered, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"And he started throwing things and I got freaked and..." He trailed off.

"And what?" I asked, soothingly, like when I used to hold Novalee when she couldn't sleep.

I don't know where or why I came up with that comparison.

"I started crying, like a little boy." He whispered, his face flushing. Nate rarely blushed, only in extreme situations. He looked down at his jeans. "I swear, I'm getting as bad as you."

I smiled, tightly. "I think you've got a long way to go." I squinted and smiled.

He returned it. "My dad felt bad and stopped yelling and my mom just started hugging and kissing me and it became too much and I ran out and then got lost-"

"And you were too embarrassed to call someone and say, 'I got lost, in Forks!'" I exclaimed.

"Yes." He said, on alert.

"Same here!" I yelled, excited I wasn't the only one.

Nate threw his head back and laughed. "Of course, Princess." I joined him for a moment before he quieted down and looked at me again. This talk actually reminded me of our talk on his first day in Forks. We were both being so quiet... "Bella, can I ask a question?"

"Yeah, of course." I didn't know what he'd want to know about me. Didn't Nate know everything about me?

"I don't know if other people have asked you and if I'm just rambling and asking you to repeat stuff that you've already said a million times-you know how I hate doing that-so don't get mad or anything-" I interrupted his monologue.

"Nate, you're avoiding asking me something. Just spit it out." I directed.

Nate nodded. "Princess, what's going on with Renee?"

My eyebrows pushed together. I realized that I think I'd already talked about Renee twice but neither time was it to Nate. He was bound to be curious, considering Renee was my primary guardian when I met and was impregnated by him. Even though Renee never really liked Nate.

I shook my head, looking down. "Renee is Renee. She's not always around." I shrugged, throwing my hands up. Nate didn't push me for more. I sighed and then continued. "Phil is her new obsession and I'm a speck on her radar nowadays."

Nate stroked my hair. "You're mom has always loved you, boo." He whispered to me.

"It doesn't feel like it." I mumbled back.

"I know," He whispered. "Sometimes we scare our parents bad enough that they avoid any emotional contact with us to protect themselves but more than anything, to protect us."

I looked up, into Nate's eyes. "What do you mean?" I mouthed but he read it as if he could read my mind.

He didn't speak for a while, gaining insight, I'd guess. "When we're hurting, our parents try to fix it and when the reality sets in that they can't, they try to get rid of us. We think they're being mean and selfish but they struggle with our problems _almost_ as much as we do." His voice maintained a quiet nature. "The hardest thing for a parent to ever have to do, is see their child in pain." Nate looked up to the ceiling for a minute, before continuing. "We both know that, in the back of our minds, we were grateful that Novalee was killed instantly, that way she felt nothing."

I jumped off the stairs as soon as the words left his mouth. How could he even imply I was grateful for any part of that accident? "That is not true!" I yelled, grasping suddenly at his words.

"Bella-"

"How dare you ever say that! How dare you!" I screamed, shrieking at him like an animal. "You must not have loved Novalee at all!"

Saying those words fired Nate up, immediately. "I spoke the truth, Bella. Just because you don't wanna admit it and face reality, doesn't make it less true!" Nate yelled back at me.

"And what exactly are you doing?" I yelled. "You're wallowing in self pity! At least I've done something with my life!"

"By forgetting our daughter!" He challenged.

"No, by forgetting you!" I screamed.

Nate stepped back as if I'd burned him right as I reeled from the shock at my own words. "Are you trying to forget me or are you trying to hang onto Edward?" He challenged again, in a hard voice.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, in a gruff whisper.

"You're changing yourself to be perfect so he'll always love you." Nate mocked. "And you're trying to rewrite your past so that way, you'll always sound better to Edward. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right? He doesn't need to know how your mother mooched off your grandparents or how you cried yourself to sleep in my arms over a hundred times over your father's ignorance or how you've seen both of your grandparents die, two separate times or how you drank to alcohol poisoning at thirteen years old or how you ran away to my house-"

"What is the point of this tirade?" I cut in.

"Our lives are messy, Princess. So messy. They're dark and gruesome and a little disturbing but they've made us who we are. Do you think Edward has had any of the same experiences? Do you think he can sympathize?" He yelled. "Face it! Anything you say to Edward is nothing more than a horrible tale that he'll remember as the way the trash live."

I had to bite my lip on that one. Was it true? I couldn't figure it out at that exact moment. Either way, I wouldn't show Nate my vulnerability. "You don't know Edward. Edward loves me." I stated with my teeth ground.

"And yet _you_ can't let him in all the way."

"Edward's not like us, Nate! He has a rich and loving family! He's never seen the dark side of life that we've lived on. Dammit! _I can't lose him again_!" I shrieked.

"What?"

"He's left before! He left me and I didn't see him for so many months! I can't do that now! _I can't lose him again, I just got him back_!"

I shot up the stairs, right past Nate. At first the shock was so bad from our fight, the real pain hadn't hit me yet. But when it did, it crucified me and I bent at my knees halfway up the stairs and fell on all fours. I felt the sobs work their way out.

I realized in that moment I wasn't the only one sobbing. Nate had his face buried in his hands, choking noises coming out along with sniffles.

"How could you ever say I didn't love Novalee?" Nate cried.

I glared at him, turning so my back was again the wall on the staircase; my tears were making me hazy.

_"Your daddy loves you so much."_

_"Bella, she's kicking. For me!" _

_"Our baby and you are all I've ever wanted." _

I knew Nate loved Novalee, but him saying those words brought out the angry momma bear in me. "How could you ever say anything good about that accident?" I yelled, my voice broken.

Nate turned to glare at me. "Well, I have to find closure somehow!" He yelled.

"I don't want to find closure!" I screamed at him, surprising myself. I felt my hands shake, unable to grip any calm, rational thought. "I don't want this to be real." I cried. "I want my daughter back, Nate."

Nate looked at me, tear stricken and broken and I knew we were on the same wavelength again. I ran down the stairs and into his arms. I was shocked at the sound of girly sobs, only to recognize them as mine. "Our daughter." He corrected me, in a hushed voice.

_"We're really going to be parents?"_

"I'm sorry," I cried again.

Nate hugged me closer and stroked my hair. "No, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "Princess, we gotta stop doing this to each other. We're in this together; my grief is your grief. We deal with it differently but it was _our_ daughter. We can't keep hurting the other one. We have to work together."

I nodded and sighed. "We have to be different." I agreed.

"If we don't change, we're just gonna wind up in the same holes as our parents, spending the rest of our lives digging themselves out of problems we had in high school."

I nodded and bit my lip again. "How do we change?" I asked, quietly.

He shook his head, against mine. "I don't know...But we got to do something."

"We need to remember Novalee was our daughter, not just one of our's. I'm sorry for jumping on you."

Nate shrugged. "I've jumped on you in the past too." We didn't speak right away until I groaned. "What's wrong?" Nate asked.

"Everything. Everything feels like an upside down twisted nightmare that I can't wake up from. When I'm with you, all I do is remember and refeel pain. When I'm with Edward, I have to explain everything and relive it there too. When I'm around Charlie or school, no one cares what my past is, they judge me on what's on the surface...I-I think I need a therapist." I added.

"I think every one of our friends and us should have joined a group therapy a long ass time ago." He laughed. I laughed too, at how true it was. "Then we would really have rumors at our school." He said as an after thought.

My breath caught in my throat as I realized something. "Shit, what about Edward?" Of course, I knew he'd hear about the rumors but I didn't really consider it before.

"What about him?" Nate asked, sour now.

"The rumors!" I exclaimed. "That we're sleeping together?"

"And..." He prompted when I didn't elaborate.

"Edward is gonna hear them!" I exclaimed, again. "What if he's mad?"

Nate rolled his eyes. "Yes, he'll be mad because we mad up fake rumors but he was fine with you lying to him for the last year and a half."

"He might be!"

"Then he's weird." Nate shrugged.

"Why are you being like this?" I accused.

"Being like what?" He said, snoody.

"All..." I tried to place it. "Jackassy."

Nate laughed, once under his breath. "How did we go from talking about our baby to talking about your boyfriend?" Nate asked.

I looked at him for a second. "I don't know." I finally said.

"Hmm." Was my only response.

I kept staring at him, wondering how he changed so abruptly. A minute ago he was talkative and fine. Now he was all moody and short tempered with me.

After five minutes of silence Nate stood up. "I think the storm stopped," He called over his shoulder, about to leave.

"Nate, wait!" I yanked his t-shirt backwards.

"What?" He spun on his heels, facing me again, looking furious all of a sudden.

I shook it off before it could make me lose my edge. "I don't want you to leave angry." I stated.

"What do you want me to do, Bella! Do you want me to be okay with..." He didn't finish his sentence.

I looked at him, eyeing him, trying to figure out what he was saying that he didn't finish. "Nate, are you jealous of me and Edward?" I asked, trying not to look too frozen.

Nate blanched. "No!" He yelled, a little too loud. "I just...I don't like...I-I'm..."

I groaned. "Spit it out already!" I yelled.

"I wish you hadn't moved on!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

We were silent for a minute, just staring at each other. "But I did." I said, quiet but sturdy.

Truth be told, I didn't understand what Nate had just said and I'm not sure if I wanted to know.

"I know." He whispered.

"You wish I was still single?" I asked, bewildered. Not even Nate was this upfront.

"No, Bella. I wish you had a harder time moving on after Novalee, that's it, okay?" He snapped.

"Harder time? What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, grabbing his arm when he tried to turn away. He shook me off.

He took a deep breath in. "It just feels like you walked away from Novalee and me and all our problems and found a new guy and made a bunch of new friends and now you're skipping rainbows and kissing ponies and I'm an outsider to you." Nate said with his back to me.

"Nate..." I didn't know what to say. If I was being honest, if the roles were reversed, would I feel any different?

"It was always me and you, no matter what. We always had each other. Now you got Edward and I've got no one. Not even our friends really give a damn about me anymore, they mostly care about you."

I bit my lip. "I don't know what to say, Nate." I exclaimed, finally after staying silent for a while. "I don't know what to say. I'm not going to apologize for falling in love with Edward. I'm not sorry for that." I stated.

"Forget it." Nate finally said, opening the door before I could react and left.

I stared at it for a while, not sure if I should follow him or not. I felt more tears come out, as I stood there, dumbstruck.

Eventually, I left the house and went walking the way that I came. The storm lightened up a little but not much. It was dark now and my vision was blurred but it may have been the tears and lack of guide. I was shuffling clumsy in my heels, around the sidewalk, hoping I was going home the right way when a car pulled up in front of me.

I recognized the driver immediately. "Edward," I yelled, throwing the door open and jumping in the passenger's side.

Edward opened his arms in time for me to climb into his lap. "Hey, love." He kissed my wet hair and chuckled as I started kissing his neck. "Did you miss me or something," He teased.

I laughed, quiet. "Yes, I did."

And suddenly I was soothed. I didn't care about my fight with Nate or the thunderstorm or anything else that was bugging me. I relaxed into the circle of his arms and was content. "Edward?" I asked, abruptly speaking.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you come back early?" I realized. He was due till tomorrow.

"I was worried about you in the thunderstorm." Edward murmured, kissing me.

I remained distracted for a few minutes, forgetting my questions. When he moved his lips to my neck, I groggily said, "You didn't have to come back early for me."

He chuckled. "Actually the thunder scares animals away and makes them harder to catch."

I pouted as I contemplated this. "Does this mean you have to go hunting again?"

"I hunted enough to last a few days. Don't worry." Edward continued to kiss my neck, trailing to my shoulder, causing me to lose my train of thought.

Oh well.

After a few minutes of kissing and basking in our reunion, Edward smiled and turned towards the car again. "We better go before I get a parking ticket." I laughed at the thought of Charlie catching me and Edward making out in the front seat.

Edward drove home as usual, fast, too fast for my liking but I piped down for once. I was gazing out the side window when I saw a light in the fog. A bright light.

_I saw the bright lights before I felt everything go black._

_I heard a scream come from Nate, but Novalee remained silent._

I screamed, as the lights got closer. Edward jumped, not even his vampire reflexes were prepared for my hysteria. Acting on irrationality, I yanked the steering wheel to the right, causing the Volvo to swerve off the road. Edward yanked it back the other way before we flipped and the car spun in as fast motion circle before it skid to a stop.

My screaming didn't let up right away, meeting my tears and shaking hands. Edward unbuckled my seat belt and yanked me into his arms.

"Shhh, baby, it's alright." Edward whispered, trying to comfort me. I gripped him for dear life but didn't stop sobbing loudly now.

Edward understood without me having to tell him. I'd told him about the day Novalee died. He knew why I had freaked. I sighed in relief, internally; glad I didn't have to explain this.

Edward rubbed my back as I calmed down. "They-they-they were so close...and they were going so fast and..." I hiccupped.

Edward kissed my forehead, "It's okay, sweetheart. I saw them too. If they were going to hit us, I would have gotten out of the way. I won't let anyone hurt you." He promised.

I nodded, burying my face in his chest, kissing it. "I love you." I murmured.

"I love you too."

X.

We made it back to Charlie's, safe and in one piece. I still probably looked upset but when Charlie called my name, I just stomped up the stairs.

I immediately climbed into bed with Edward already waiting for me. I quickly stripped off my pants, not bothering to change and cuddled next to him.

Edward was playing with my hair as I was having trouble sleeping, despite my emotionally draining day. We were talking about the people at school-I hadn't worked up the courage to tell him about the fake rumors-when my phone buzzed from my nightstand.

I turned over to grab it and stared at the screen.

_Message from Nate:_

_Are you okay?_

**AN: Hahaha, so reviews really help motivate me to update. Really really really help me. I know, it's going kinda slow right now but the chapters will be getting even more intense soon so please please pretty please review. Love it, hate it, constructive criticism helps too if you want.**

**Plus it's the story's 2-year anniversary. Reviews are nice ;)**


	42. Chapter 41: Mistakes

**AN: Okay, so here's the next chapter! I love getting lots of reviews so please review me. It makes me motivated and makes me wanna write a lot more. Btw, when a sentance is alone on a line, in italics, it means it's something that Bella's remembering from the past. If a word in a paragraph is in italics, it means the word is emphasized. If a sentance in a paragraph is in italics, it means the sentance is important. Anyway, if you review me, I'll do like I did a few chapters back and mention you in the authors note. Also, I got a review saying they feel like the story is still in the middle of the plot and it is. Lol, I just write a lot, it's why it's so long. And I think this chapter is really long, compared to usual, so I almost split it up but there is no really good place to split it up, so I just posted it as a whole. **

**Disclaimer: You'd think after 42 chapters, I wouldn't have to write one anymore. But I do. So here it is. I own nothing. I have to clarifiy, because I'm sure you all thought I was Stephenie Meyer, right? Yeah, I that's what I thought. **

I didn't respond to Nate's text that night. I ignored it and luckily, Edward didn't question me on it. I didn't want to think about Nate and the way we left things. The next day was a teacher's workday, so my suspension was not in effect yet.

Which means Edward still didn't know about it.

I thought about telling Edward on Wednesday night, after we got situated in bed but I couldn't work up the courage. Same story on Thursday. Charlie was gone on Thursday, left before I got up and worked late that night. He probably slept at the station.

Anything to avoid me.

On Friday, I was tossing a bouncy ball in the air when my phone buzzed. Edward stepped out to change. He was usually back within fifteen minutes, more or less. I grabbed my phone off my nightstand. The caller ID said Ricky. "Hey-ay-y." I chirped into the speaker.

"Hey, lovely." Ricky greeted.

"What's going on?" I asked, looking at the clock. Ricky didn't usually call before noon. He usually wasn't even awake before noon, regardless of if he was in school or not.

"I just wanted to check in on you." He said, casually.

"Ricky?" I warned. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were okay..." I waited. "You know, after the storm hit."

I sprinted up in bed. "Who told you?" I accused. I hated having my friends worry about me.

"It doesn't matter, Princess."

"Yes, it does! Who told you?" I ruffed.

"Bella-"

"Do not call me my first name, Ricky." I didn't like it when my Phoenix friends did. It made it seem like something bad was happening. "It makes it sound like something is _actually_ wrong."

"Sorry, Isabella," He teased.

"It's fine, Richard." I shot back.

"Okay, we're done. That's the end of this conversation." He said, abruptly, lightness clouding his voice.

"Did you know Richard can be shortened to Dick?"

"How appropriate."

"You're so mature." I rolled my eyes.

"Just like you."

"So who told you there was a storm here?" I asked again, worn now.

He sighed. "Nate worries about you, Princess. A lot."

"Really?" I exclaimed, annoyed.

"Don't sound so pissed. There are worse tragedies than having someone loves you." Ricky pointed out.

I sighed, knowing he was right. "What did Nate say?" I asked, resigned.

"That you almost crashed your boyfriend's car and you were a hysterical mess on Wednesday night." Ricky replied, sounding like he was eating something.

"Like he was so calm." I snorted.

I heard a door open in the background of Ricky's side. "My dad's home. I gotta go. Love you." Ricky said, rushed.

"Love you." I said as I hung up. Just as I threw my phone to the end of my bed, Edward crawled through the window.

"Who was that?" He wondered, apprehensively.

"Ricky." I shrugged off. Edward nodded, not asking. I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "He was curious about the storm because Nate called him and made a bigger deal of the almost accident." I rambled on, in a monotone.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist. "You know I'd never let anything hurt you, don't you?" He asked, kissing my neck.

"Of course." I smiled as he trailed up to my earlobe.

"Good." He unhooked his arms from my waist. "Get dressed, we're going to be late if you still got to do your hair and make up too."

"Hold on, Edward. I wanna check my email." I stated as I flipped my computer on.

"Why the sudden urge?"

I didn't respond as the screen loaded. Finally I got my email up. "Just as I thought." I mumbled to myself.

"What?"

"Look." I pointed. "Renee emailed me again. And again. And again." Edward leaned forward and clicked on the top bolded email.

_Dear Bella,_

_Sweetheart, your dad loves you very much. Please make peace with him. You and me chose not to tell him about the pregnancy and Nate. I think when we made this decision; we both knew it wouldn't last. Eventually Charlie would find out._

_Love, _

_Mom_

I hit the next button, without even considering replying.

_Bella,_

_Charlie has been calling me non-stop. Bella, you can't just leave the house whenever you feel like it. It worries parents, you know. Sweetie, I know you're a teen but you gotta know this isn't very wise of you. Fighting with your dad may seem like it's going to help but it's not. Charlie made a few mistakes but that doesn't mean he's suddenly the worst man on Earth._

_Love,_

_Mom_

Okay, the first email was pointless and stupid but the second one infuriated me. How dare she tell me what it's like to be a parent! I had a baby. I was a better mother than she ever was! She doesn't even know me anymore, who gives her the right to tell me what to do! I left home whenever I pleased when I lived with her, why would that change now? And since when has Charlie started calling her? He's never around to use the house phone and Lord knows the station phone is a piece of crap.

Edward, who I'd almost forgotten was here, hesitantly clicked on the last email. I leaned forward and started reading, already reeling from the last two.

_Bella,_

_Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Where are you? Why haven't you emailed me back? Phil's starting to get worried and it's bad to have anxiety before a big game. Charlie has died down on the calls a little but you're still causing him trouble. Baby, people like to gossip in small towns and you're just giving them one more thing to talk about._

_Love_

_Mom_

"Is she freaking kidding me?" I asked, seething now. "Can you believe her, Edward?" I yelled. Edward sat on the edge of my bed and patiently waited for me to continue. "I mean, she has the nerve to say I'm bothering Phil and Charlie and her! Why-" I abruptly stopped. Why did she even have me? I wanted to say but couldn't form the words without a lump in my throat.

Edward opened his arms for me and I sat down on his lap. "Love, I know you are angry with your mother. You have every right to be. But I do remember reading her thoughts and she never thought you were a burden. She loves you abundantly, trust me."

I didn't respond right away. "Hey, Edward, when we were in the hospital after James' attack...Did my mom ever think of Novalee?" I asked, quietly.

Edward shifted away from me, scrutinizing my face. "Of course not, Bella. If she had, I would have known that you had a daughter."

Duh! I'm so stupid sometimes.

I nodded. "I don't think Renee ever gave a damn about my daughter." It didn't escape me that my voice sounded like a little girl's.

"I know she did." Edward whispered in my ear.

"And how do you know?" I challenged, quietly.

"Because she was a part of you. And anything that is a part of you is magnificent."

X.

I spent an extra long time getting dressed, not only to put off getting ready to go to school and enviably having to tell Edward, I was suspended but also just to annoy Edward. He was weirdly impatient to get to school this morning.

I eventually picked out a mini jean skirt, a skintight busier-I think that's what Summer called them-and high heels with zebra print. I quickly pulled on my shirt and heels, even before my skirt. I decided to play with Edward, pretending to trip in my heels and slid into Edward, backwards while sliding my skirt on.

"You did that on purpose." He accused, half-heartedly.

I flashed a bright, corky smile. "And?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "We better get to school, love."

"Why are you so anxious to get to school?" I snapped.

Edward pressed his lips into a line, avoiding a smirk. "Why are you trying so hard to avoid it?" In that second, I could have sworn he knew about the suspension and rumors.

If he knew anything, he didn't announce it again. I quickly curled and put my hair into low ponytails and then did my make up. Edward and me didn't speak again, though he stayed with me while I got ready.

On the drive to school, I thought more about Renee and her emails to me. I realized how betrayed I felt by her and how she truly was the worst mom I could ask for. She had no right to be a mother, yet she got it. I remembered how hard my Aunt Pam worked to have Meme, my little cousin. It took her years. Why did it come so easy for Renee-easy enough to get pregnant on accident, at least-yet my aunt, who is a terrific mother, had to work for years to become one.

In a way, I was glad Meme took so long to have. Aunt Pam was so desperate to have children; she made extra time for me, whenever I wanted, forging a connection between the two of us that was still there. I quickly pushed the thought away; I was beginning to get home sick.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked, rubbing the top of my thigh.

"My mom and my aunt Pam." I murmured.

Edward put the Volvo in park. It took me a minute to realize we had arrived at school. "Tell me about your aunt." Edward suggested.

I sucked in a deep breath. "I kind of gotta tell you something else first." I said, quietly. I looked over my shoulder, hesitantly, staring at the school building.

I shook my head. I was supposed to be confident. I was trying to be, at least. I was trying to prove to everyone that I was just as strong and tough as I'd ever been, not that they knew me back then. I was proving to everyone that they couldn't walk on me.

Somehow though, around Edward, that act dropped, automatically. Sure, I was more jokingly seductive and always trying to push our physical relationship but that was about it. I wasn't extra confident; I wasn't tough or cool around him.

I guess that's what made this so hard. Having to tell him that I'd kind of cheated on him. I didn't exactly count it as cheating, he might. We'd never been in this situation before.

"Bella?" Edward prompted.

I looked up at him, to see a glint in his eyes that even he couldn't hide. Instantly, I figured he knew. "You already know, don't you?" I asked, slyly.

"Mmmhm." He murmured.

"Why didn't you say anything?" I exclaimed.

"I wanted you to tell me."

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I was afraid that you'd be mad I made up rumors of cheating on you." I explained.

Edward's expression became unreadable. "Yeah, I think I could have lived-no pun intended-without that."

I sighed again. His reaction wasn't as bad as I had anticipated, though I don't know what I thought he would say. "I'm sorry." I said, again.

Edward shrugged after a minute. "I actually like the other rumors you made up more."

"Huh?" What other rumors?

"The ones of me and you, 'every single night'." He quoted, softly, raising an eyebrow.

"You mean what I told Jessica?" I asked, shocked. That had gotten around?

"Yes. Carlisle was asked by Lindsay Stanley, at the bank, if he was aware his son was sneaking around with the Chief's mysterious daughter, after curfew hours." Edward mocked. I laughed.

"I didn't lie that time, though. You are with me every single night." I reminded him. This time he laughed. I sighed, just staring through the windshield now. "You do know, I was suspended for 'Inappropriate Conduct on School Property', right?"

"Yeah, but Charlie got that fixed, somehow." Edward said, as he climbed out of the Volvo.

"What?" I exclaimed, jumping out too.

"Charlie got your suspension lifted." Edward smirked. "Didn't see that coming, did you?"

"How do you know?" I asked, stunned as we walked towards the building.

"Alice."

X.

We walked hand and hand into third period, when the speaker called "Edward Cullen, please report to the main office. I repeat, Edward Cullen, to the main office." I reached up to kiss him in the threshold of the class. The period hadn't started yet and I was free to do whatever I wanted. Too bad. Could have annoyed another teacher and gotten this back to Charlie. Bet the veins in his foreheads are going to explode soon.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, swinging me up to him. We probably looked like people in the movies. I felt someone squeeze by us. "Be careful, _Princess_." Lauren mocked. "Wouldn't want anyone to see your thong."

"Be a nice change from having to see yours." She glared at me, without a good enough response.

The rest of the school day passed by, quickly enough, nothing interesting really happened. Actually, the interesting thing is what _didn't_ happen. I didn't see Nate all day.

Wasn't he off suspension too?

I looked all day, trying to remain inconspicuous about it, but I came up with nothing. Was he just ditching? I saw Aidenn in the hallway but he was talking to another sophomore girl so I didn't want to taint his chance at friends with associating with the school slut. Even though he may already have that link to me, through Nate.

I thought for a few minutes what it must be like for Aidenn and Claire to hear these rumors going around and to hear about their own niece. People can be cruel and I know there are terrible things being said, even more so, behind my back.

I, somehow, get the impression Edward, Alice and Nate are all trying to keep them from me. Well, maybe not Nate...

I wondered outloud to Edward why Nate wasn't in school today, on the drive home. "I don't know, love. Alice only saw your suspension get lifted. I think she avoids Nate's future though."

"Why?" I asked, curious.

"She never can see it, so I think she gives up." Edward chuckled. "She isn't as persistent as you are." I laughed quietly. "So, you never did tell me about your aunt." Edward prompted.

I laughed and started from the top. "She's pretty, funny, an ex cheerleader, was a 4.0 student, um...I think she fooled around a lot in high school but never got caught like Renee did. She's the one who originally taught me how to lie. She's married to a rich guy named Jonathan, she has naturally pretty straight brown hair, she has a little girl, named Meme. Meme's real name is Naomi, which has been her favorite name since she read _Becoming Naomi Leon_ to me when I was 7." I chatted on. "How was that description?" I asked, mocking him.

"Great." I laughed at him.

"Hopefully one day you can meet her." I said, trying to reassure myself as my homesickness started resurfacing.

"Hopefully, if I do, she'll like me more than Charlie does."

"I think Charlie has been seeing you in a new light since he met Nate." I stated.

"No, he really hasn't." I rolled my eyes. "He's been seeing you in a whole new light though." He teased, lightly.

"I think everyone has." I implied, walking into my house.

Charlie was on the phone with his back to us when we walked in. I didn't bother looking at him, stalking upstairs. Edward quickly followed. I scoffed at my computer, remembering Renee's emails.

That's when it clicked. Renee had mentioned in one of her emails, that Charlie has been calling her non-stop. And he's on the phone right now...

I quickly ran from my room, trying to remain inconspicuous. I grabbed the other phone from Charlie's room and hurried back into mine, plopping down next to Edward, who was sprawled out on my bed, looking at me with curiosity.

I put one finger to my lips, signaling him to be quiet. I then pressed the talk button on the phone and listened in on their conversation.

I got a weird sense of deja vu. I remembered listening in on their conversations as a little girl and a preteen. Sometimes they made me angry, sometimes they made me cry, something they drove me to worse things.

_I crawled into my closet, and pressed the phone to my ear. I covered the mouthpart, only listening. _

I quickly covered the mouthpiece and listened. I immediately heard my mother's voice.

"I know she's not easy to deal with." Renee said, sympathetically.

_"You deal with her!"_

"I never knew the trouble she caused. I blamed you for so many years, Renee. I'm so sorry." Charlie apologized.

_"Bella is going to spiral out of control and there is nothing you can do to stop it."_

_No one knew I was there._

"She still hasn't responded to my emails. Do you know what she's doing right now?"

"I heard her go to her room, with Edward." I eyed Edward, rolling my eyes at my father. "I still don't like that kid." He said, gruffly.

"Better than Nate. I've seen Bella cry over him too many times to count."

"I've seen more than enough of that kid too. And his parents."

"I love Kaylie. She's so sweet." Renee gushed. "Tom's a little...different."

"You don't say." Charlie replied.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. I'll try to talk to Bella."

_"I never wanted to have your kid!"_

"Good luck with that."

"Thanks for the support." Renee snapped.

"She's hard headed, that child." Charlie continued.

"She's your child."

_I heard every word they said about me._

"Bella's got this attitude about her. She takes what she wants with no hesitation, says what she thinks, does what she pleases..." Charlie ranted, frustrated.

"I messed up so many time when raising her. She learned to do bad things that I never stopped." Renee's turn to rant now. "It was hard, you know. Taking care of her on my own."

_"You take care of her!"_

"Well neither of us asked for this. We didn't know the trouble she would be in when she was little." Charlie excused.

_"I never even wanted a kid! Why are you trying to force her on me now!"_

"I did." Renee said, quietly.

I forgot Edward was even here until I felt him rub my shoulder.

Charlie sighed. "What are we going to do?"

"I'm going to call her. If she won't return my emails then I have to talk to her somehow."

"Have fun." Charlie stated, sour.

"I'm going to call her cell, right now." Renee informed.

I moved my hand away from the speaking part of the phone. "Don't bother."

"Bella!" Both my parents exclaimed together.

"What?" I snapped.

"Isabella-" Charlie was cut off by Renee and me.

"Hang up the phone, Charlie. I need to talk to my daughter, alone." Renee ordered.

"Get lost, dad!" I yelled.

I heard a click and a groan from downstairs.

"Don't ever speak to your father like that." Renee said, harshly.

"Don't tell me what to do." I ordered, sharply.

"You have a lot of explaining to do, Isabella." Renee stated.

"So do you."

"I don't have half as much as you," Renee stated, icily.

"Okay, go ahead, mommy." I said, fearless.

Renee took a deep breath in then started. "Isabella, how can you do this to your dad? Charlie is having a very hard time right now. I don't know what's gotten into you. I hear that you started wearing your old clothes from Arizona, you leave the house and you don't say where you're going and when you're going to be back. You mouth off, you get in trouble with your teachers, you've been getting into fights..." Renee listed off. "Am I wrong on any account?"

"Nope, I'd say you've got it pretty much covered. Good job, by the way, for someone who's never around, you sure know what's going on in my life. Did Charlie tell you that or have you hired a P.I?"

Renee ignored my comment for the most part. "Baby, you're regressing. You aren't fifteen anymore, you need to grow up and mature. You were doing good there for a while, like when you moved to Forks and met Edward and got better grades and better friends." She propped.

"Better friends? Mom, the only friends I have are the 'trashy low lifes that you hated.' And you know what? They've been better friends to me than I've ever deserved!"

"Princess, you know what I mean!" She defended.

"No, I don't!" I yelled to the speaker. "I don't know what you mean! And a lot of the stuff you're saying is wrong!" I exclaimed.

"What's one thing I've said that was outright wrong?" Renee challenged. I didn't say anything. "Do you even have any examples of me being wrong?"

"You implied in one of your emails that I didn't know what it's like to be a mother." I exclaimed. "I do know what it's like! I've had a baby!"

"Yes. You had a baby…And you know what it's like to be a mother to a baby. But you don't know what it's like to be a mother to a teenager." She exclaimed, softly.

"I've been a teenage mother." I pointed out, sharply. "You know what? You don't know what it's like to lose a child!"

There was silence for a long time. "You're right. I don't know what that's like, Bella. But you know what? You don't know what it's like to be _your_ mother."

"What's the point of this conversation?"

"I'm trying to explain to your little thick head, that I understand." Renee said, soothingly.

"You understand what?" I exasperated.

"I understand why you're doing this. I know, you want to impress Nate and all but you need to stop this. His moving to Forks shouldn't have this big of an impact on you."

That opened the floodgates. "Are you kidding me?" I yelled. "Really? You think Nate being here shouldn't affect me? Mom, he's my first boyfriend and more importantly, the father to my only daughter." I went off on her. "Not that you care, right? You don't even love Novalee. She wasn't convenient, so you threw her memory away like you're trying to do with me!"

"Bella, no! I did love Novalee, with all my heart! Her death was hard on me too!"

"Don't even start with that-" I got cut off.

"I know, sweetie, I know. No one took that death harder than you and Nate and rightfully so! It was your daughter! But you need to grow from it, honey. And you're not. You can't keep pulling these stunts with me and your father!" She yelled.

"Because if I act like a perfect little angel, it'll make your life easier, so that way Charlie will stop calling and you won't have to deal with me!"

"Bella, I'm not saying-"

"You didn't have to! You know, I've blame Charlie all these years for not being around but where the hell have you been lately? Did you know, Charlie told the whole town I had a baby and made me the town slut? Did you know that? Did you know, Nate told Charlie off in defense of me, the thing you should have done a long time ago but you were too stupid to!" I screamed at her, boiling pissed.

Renee was silent for a second. "Okay, I understand things have been rough for you too but you got to try and stand above it. Grow out of who you used to be." She implored. "Be better." She begged.

"Why? I think I was cool." I said, sarcastically.

Renee lost it then. I almost felt bad for Phil who had to live with her. "I happen think you were really cool! I love you, Bella! But you've made you're fair share of mistakes!" She pointed out. "You're definitely done things you regret!"

If she was implying I regretted having Novalee, my mother had something else coming. "Actually, mother, I'm pretty proud of everything I've done."

"Is that so? Because I happen to remember you drinking yourself to the point of alcohol poisoning at age thirteen." Shit! I didn't think of that!

Renee, knowing she'd caught me, continued. She started out, trying to be motherly and complimented me, kind of backhandedly. "You've done what you could with the cards you were dealt in life. But now, life is changing and Charlie isn't me, Bella! He's not used to your temper tantrums and your teen angst! He responds differently and it'd make it easier on all of us if you just knocked it off, lost your attitude and-"

"And what? Become a robotic liar like I was before all this happened? That's what you want, isn't it? That way you don't have to deal with me!" I accused, again.

"No, Bella! Dammit, I'm making it so _you_ don't have to deal with _any_ of this! I'm protecting you from….." Renee didn't finish.

"From what? What are you saving me from, mommy?" I mocked.

"From becoming me." Renee said, quietly.

I stopped, stunned. I didn't see this coming. I remembered having one conversation like this, once she confronted me on being pregnant but we rarely talked about it again. "Why would I become you?" I whispered. Edward, who I'd completely forgotten about, stroked my hair, reassuringly.

"Don't you see where you're going? Damn it, Bella, I'm trying to stop you from ending up like me. I want you to be better than you want yourself to be. I remember being your age and I was a lot more…. lucky in some ways than you. I had much better parents and a lot better guidance than me or Charlie have given you. But, my god, Princess, I regret so many things I did. I lost my virginity to a scumbag jerk, who I barely knew, on prom night, not even at _my_ prom! I got involved with guys I shouldn't have and made you deal with them too. I married your father way too young, when I didn't even understand what marriage meant. When I first had you, it felt like I was playing house. I didn't understand the realities of being a mother. How could I? How can you guide someone else through life when you're still trying to figure out who you are?" Her words struck a cord in me.

Not only did her words make it almost absolutely clear I was a mistake but it also made me realize, I would have had so much trouble raising Novalee. I was younger than Renee when she had me and if she had all these troubles…

Truth is, I already knew that I would have had a hard life with my baby. I've thought of it before. But I purposely haven't pondered it. I don't like thinking about what ifs and what could have been, when there is no chance of it ever happening.

"Bella," Renee's voice broke through my thoughts. "I want better for you. A better life, with better choices. You can change now!" She urged me. "You can do better things than I did and when the times comes again, be a better mother and wife and girlfriend or whatever! But the way you're going, you are going to end up just like me and all of your friends' mothers."

"How do you know?" I accused, scarcely able to find my voice.

"I just know, Isabella!" Her voice hardened. "I want better for you! I want better for you than you want for you! I don't want you to repeat me and my lousy choices!"

"What if I don't care?" I pushed, looking for a reaction, like always.

"Well, I do! Bella, I know you know what I'm talking about! You've had to pay for so many of my screw-ups. I've made so many mistakes, mistakes that have affected me and Phil and Charlie and most importantly, you! If I could fix the damage, I've done, I would! And if I could take back, all my mistakes, I would!" My mother, exclaimed, then sighed, exasperated. I bit my lip and shook my head softly. "I would change so many things."

"Like not get pregnant with me?"

**AN: Aw, sad line but I liked it. What'd you think of Renee and Bella's conversation? What'd you think of Charlie calling her non-stop? Sorry, Nate fans, I know he wasn't in this chapter but he's coming back soon. And sorry, Edward fans, he didn't really do much here except listen to Bella talk to her mom. They'll both have something to do soon. Anyway, please review. I need motivation to write and nothing helps me more! Yep, please. And tell me, do you even read author notes? I've always wondered lol. **

**Again, if you review I'll mention you in the next author's note. K? K.**


	43. Chapter 42: Nightmares and Needs

**AN: Have any of you ever had a migraine. I'm kinda late on posting this chapter because I had one a few nights ago and my head still hurt the next day. I'm not going to say much about this but when I googled migraine later, I found I didn't just have a migraine, I had a BAD migraine. It HURT. Just explaining why it seemed to take me longer to update.**

**Just like I promised (because I almost forgot) I'm going to mention you in my author's note if you reviewed last chapter.**

**Jake: First of all, I was so flattered by the first review you ever gave me. It made my day. I'm kind of wondering if you're my Facebook friend for my story account. Btw, in your review of chapter 42, you said something about me developing relationships between different characters through the course of multiple chapters, and I just wanted to say that I'm glad that caught on because my intention is to develop real relationships between characters, not the unrealistic ones that come across a lot of times in stories. Anyway, thanks for reviewing me regularly. It really means a lot.**

**alyce cullen: Hahaha, well thank you for always reviewing and thanks for 'loving it'. I'm glad you like what I write (or you say you do), even when I don't think I do.**

**HappyKitty95: Hahahaha, you're reviews usually make me laugh. In a good way. But I don't know about the whole reunion thing with Bella and all her friends. You're just going to have to wait and see. Btw, I'm always so happy when you review. Thought you should know that. Okay, well good, now you do :)**

**The One And Only Sullen Cullen: Lol, I'm glad you were honest with your last review. It's nice to hear what people think. And yeah, Bella is bitching and moaning. Hang in there; it'll get better soon.**

**Lizzie Sixx: Aw, thank you. I'm glad you liked the last chapter. Reviews motivate me and I appreciate every one I get.**

**AshleyGreenPink: I'm so happy when I get reviews from you. And I'm glad I make your days when I update. Hahaha I don't know if I'll have an actual book but it's nice to know, one person would read it. (Except you don't know my real name so that'd be hard to find it lol). There is going to be a little relief from the drama from time to time and there's also going to be back to back drama from time to time. And I'm grateful you plan to stick to my story till the end because I know it's going slow and I'm still in the middle here. :)**

**Simplynessiecullen: I like that you review on a regular basis. I make me really happy when I recognize a reviewer. **

**twilightocd: Thank you for saying the call is something that seems like it would happen. I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible. **

**tinkerbear10: Thank you for your review. Btw, I think I've seen you reviewing a story I was reading the other day. It's so weird to recognize someone that reviewed my story on another story. I thought it was cool.**

**TwilightGurl4Lyfe: I don't think I've seen you before. I love getting new readers or maybe you've read for a while and just now started reviewing. Don't be offended if you've reviewed before and I just don't remember. I'm kinda a ditz :D**

**BloodMagicTwilightBitch: I LOVE your username first of all. Hahaha, I definitely intend to continue and thank you for your sweet review. It's much appreciated. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, thank you. **

I hung up on Renee, with no intentions of calling her back. I meant what I said and didn't want to hear her excuses. I set my phone on my dresser and didn't look at it for the rest of the weekend. Edward, as usual was patient with me, but concerned now, by something Renee had said.

"Bella, did Renee say you had alcohol poisoning at thirteen?" Edward's voice was strained as if he couldn't imagine it.

I knew most people couldn't. It was a strange thing to think about. How can a thirteen year old drink to the point of death? I did. In reaction to what my parents said over the phone about me. Whoever said, "Sticks and stone can break my bones but words can never hurt me" was wrong. Words do hurt. Worst than sticks and stones.

Words hurt worse than injuries. They hit you harder than a fist. They sting worse than a slap. Because you can't erase the pain from your mind. It doesn't subside easily and no matter what you always will have a scar or reminder permanently ingrained in your mind.

Certain things stick with you forever. Especially, when they are said by the people who are supposed to love you the most.

After a while of staring at my hands, I came clean to him. "Yes, I drank myself to alcohol poisoning at thirteen." I confessed.

"Why, Bella?" Edward asked, his hand stroking my cheek.

"I was in a bad place. My grades were F's, nothing was good in my life except Nate. My parents were talking on the phone and Renee was telling Charlie how screwed up I am and he didn't want to hear it and he said some things." I whispered.

"Like what?"

"Things..." I trailed off.

"'Things' that must have really upset you." Edward implored. I bit my lip and shook my head. I rolled over and buried my face into his shirt, knowing it would comfort me to smell his sweet scent.

"Smug things..."

_"I knew one day, she'd screw up so bad you would have to come running to me."_

"Angry things..."

_"Where the hell have you been? Sitting in the Forks police station and probably eating donuts!"_

"Hurtful things..."

_"She hasn't been mine for a long time!"_

_"You didn't want her!" _

"Truthful things..."

_"I didn't want a kid! So why the hell are you trying to force her on me now!"_

"I'm sorry, baby." Edward murmured, kissing my head.

I shrugged. "You really lucked out with Carlisle and Esme."

"I know."

"Do you want to go see them?" I asked. "I'd rather be at your house than mine right now."

"Sure." Edward stood up and pulled me onto his back. I closed my eyes tightly, as we jumped down from my second story room, through the window. I was able to relax again as soon as we took off running. I trust Edward to make sure I didn't get hurt.

I stayed over at the Cullens' the entire weekend. I didn't bother telling Charlie where I was. If he wanted to know so badly he could call my mom and figure it out with her.

When Monday came around, school remained boring. When I wasn't with Edward, I searched for Nate to no advil. He wasn't there. When was the supposed suspension up? Did Nate not get off like I did? I didn't bother asking Edward. He's been so nice about all my problems for so long, I didn't want to put any more on him.

When I came home Wednesday, after school, Charlie was still working so I didn't worry about seeing him. Edward played with the cookbook lying on the counter. "Did Charlie cook for himself?" Edward asked.

"Probably not, considering the house is still standing," I murmured, toying with my cell phone.

"So," Edward was suddenly behind me, grabbing me around the waist and lifting me on the counter, facing him. "What's on your mind?"

"Eh, nothing other than I'm waiting for something to happen."

"What do you mean?" His eyebrows drew together.

"Something bad usually happens when things are...good enough."

"Good enough?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Aside from Nate not speaking to me, and Renee and Charlie being lousy parents."

"Try not to focus on them." Edward implored.

"Well, I got a wonderful boyfriend to help me stay positive." I leaned forward and brushed my lips to his.

"That you do." He said, moving his lips down to my neck.

"Thanks for putting up with all my bullshit." He laughed.

"No problem. Makes life interesting."

"You're welcome." I retorted. "But promise me, if I ever get too annoying for you, tell me to knock it off."

Edward smiled. "Will do." Just as he finished, his phone rang. He put it to his ear. "Hello?...Yes...I don't need to yet...No, it's fine...I'm fine."

"Who is it?" I asked, nosily. "What are they asking?"

As I searched his face, I realized his eyes were black. He had come back early during the thunderstorm, last week. He needed to hunt again.

Damn, it felt like all he ever did was hunt. I sighed, not wanting to be selfish, when he's so unselfish to me. "Edward, go hunting." I said, unwillingly.

Edward closed his phone and shook his head. "No, love. It's fine. I don't need to go hunting again for a few more days." He assured me, kissing my cheek.

"Yes, you do." I said, matter a factly. "You don't need to push your self control any more than you have to."

Edward smiled and brought his hand up to my cheek. I leaned into it. "You're so unselfish." He whispered.

I smiled, with my eyes shut. "I learn it from you."

"Doubt it."

"I do." I swore.

"Mmhmmm." I opened my eyes after a minute of silence and leaned forward to kiss him. Edward kissed me long enough to get my head spinning. "I better go before they run away without me." He whispered against my lips.

I smiled and wished him well. After he was gone, I pulled out my phone and dialed the first name I saw in my phone book. Gwen. Or Sparkles...Same person.

I was nervous to speak to Gwen. She was always more of a tomboy than the rest of us, aside for her roll on glitter days that we all used to make fun of her for. Gwen was really pretty, half Mexican, smart and a total know it all like Mason.

I swear, Gwen and Mason are like a match made in heaven.

What surprised me was when she didn't pick up the phone. Someone else did. "Princess!" Squealed a younger voice.

"Umm, hey? Who is this?" It was a girl's voice so it wasn't Michael or Angelo, Gwen's brothers.

"Jenni, silly!" Exclaimed, Allie's little sister.

"Oh hey, sweetie!" I said, suddenly enthusiastic. Jenni was a sweet kid, despite her hard life. Allie babied and protected her from the drama and scandals of her crappy parents. Mr. Ricci is a politician and works very hard at his career. Allie's mother generally sucks and is wimpy and weak and gave up on all her children a long time ago.

"Hi! Omigosh, I miss seeing you and playing with your stuff? Do you have any old clothes? I want to try them on! Can I?" I heard shuffling in the background.

"Hello?" Gwen's voice came through.

"Hi!" I exclaimed.

"Princess?"

"That's me!"

"Oh my god!"

"I miss you!" I blurted out.

I heard Gwen chuckle. "Okay, what's wrong?"

"What?"

"You only call me when something's wrong." She stated.

"Nothing's wr-"

"Don't bother lying to me. Just tell me all your troubles and I'll tell you exactly how you can fix it." Gwen offered.

I laughed. "Okay, my parents suck, me and Nate aren't on speaking terms, he's weirdly disappeared from school and I just sent my boyfriend to go camping with his fam. How can I fix that?"

"Well, you're parents are gonna suck so forget them, Nate and you always work things out, Nate's ditching to avoid seeing you and Edward and I'm sure Edward will be back because he adores you. Did I tell you I could fix it or what?" I could see her grin.

"So I take it you've been talking to Nate." Gwen was always closer to all the guys then most of us.

"Mmhmmm, he called this morning."

"What'd he say?"

"School sucks, you and him aren't speaking, Juliannah may be bulimic, and he's locking up tonight."

"Wait!" I exclaimed. "Juli's bulimic?" I gasped.

"He doesn't know for sure. He heard her throwing up but is refusing to say anything to anyone." Gwen said, grimly.

"You've got to be kidding me." I was breathless. Juliannah? I couldn't picture her hurting herself like that.

"I know. It's awful." Gwen was always vague when it came to the bad stuff.

I realized that it was probably the only way she knew how to cope. Her father and middle brother, Ricardo, both were alcoholics to the point of death. It struck something in me when I realized I had been there too. I wondered how Gwen must have felt, sitting in my hospital room, seeing me in the bed, almost dead like her brother and father. I wondered if she was angry that I did what I did.

I didn't bother mentioning this to my best friend. It probably would lead to nowhere.

After I got off the phone with Gwen, I trailed upstairs to my room and laid down on the bed. It was then my mind started wandering. I couldn't help but think about what Renee had said over the phone. She had made it clear that I was a mistake and that I was in the wrong with Charlie. But she was wrong about one thing, at the very least.

I wasn't acting like my fifteen-year-old self. My fifteen year old self was still very different to who I am now. She wasn't quite as up and down moody, she wasn't as remorseful, and she wasn't as unhappy.

But those were the things I couldn't change. So why bother?

I laid there for what felt like forever. Eventually I fell asleep.

I knew I had to be asleep because there was no way I was standing in the Carters' house in Phoenix. I was seeing myself though, like there was two of me. One present day me. One fifteen year old me. In Nate's room. On Nate's bed. With vodka in my hand, gulping it down like a pro.

"Naty!" The younger version exclaimed after another swig. "Come on!"

"Shh! You're going to wake up my family, Princess!" 15-year-old Nate exclaimed. "They don't need to know we stole their alcohol."

"Why should they care? You're dad is already drunk." Young Nate rolled his eyes and drank some from the bottle I held up to him.

"My brother might."

"Why do you care so much what Ryann thinks? I swear, he's like strung out all the freaking time!"

"No, he's not. And who are we to talk? We're drinking Vodka from the bottle!"

"At least we're not rolling joints!"

Young Nate slammed his hand over younger me's mouth. "Do you want him to hear you?" Little Nate exclaimed.

"I think you're the one who doesn't want him to hear you." Fifteen year old Bella retorted.

Suddenly the scene faded to me leaning against the wall of the hospital, watching myself at 16 walk down the hospital hall, in a hospital gown, half asleep, my face bruised, cuts all over, my hands bandaged, my face tear stained and red tinted. "Nate," I heard myself call, weakly.

This was after the accident, I knew. What I didn't notice at sixteen but I noticed now was that Nate was talking-more like screaming-at a girl with bleach blonde hair and perfect skin, beautiful as could be.

Elle.

When little Nate ran towards little Bella, comforting her like my memory, I started walking towards Elle. I knew I appeared invisible to them, but I couldn't help chasing her.

Then the scene changed again. Suddenly it was just Elle and me.

Except she had something in her arms. My baby. Novalee. I gasped, her perfect little face staring up at me. I reached down to take her from Elle. Someone so precious shouldn't be exposed to someone like her. But as I reached for my daughter, Elle slipped through my body. She walked straight through me as if I wasn't there.

I spun and watched as she walked away with my daughter. Until I couldn't see her anymore.

I woke up with a startle, gasping. I looked around to realize I was still in Forks and it was all a dream. I threw myself back on the bed, burying my face in the pillows. "Uhhhggg." I moaned.

There was no way for me to get back to sleep right now. I didn't even bother trying. Subconsciously, I reached for my phone and quickly dialed the first number to come to mind.

Edward.

Then I remembered he was still hunting. I cursed and hung up before the call could go through. The next number I could think of I didn't bother dialing.

Nate.

Him and me weren't on speaking terms. He wouldn't want to hear about my nightmares.

I sighed and dialed the last number I could think of.

Ricky.

I sighed in relief. I could talk to Ricky. He would understand. I thought that until I looked at the clock on my nightstand, realizing it was quarter past three. Ricky isn't one to be woken up in his sleep. Francia always came crying at the things he'd say while tired and grumpy.

"Hel-lo?" A groggy Ricky answered.

"Hey, Ricky." I said, quickly.

"Why are you calling me?" He asked, grumpily. "I was sleeping."

"I-" I cut myself off. How could I say this without acting like a five year old? "I had a nightmare..." I bit my lip, waiting for a response.

Ricky sighed. "Mmm, was it about being woken up in your sleep?"

I sighed, ready to hang up. "I shoulda called someone else." I pouted, unable to stop.

"Aw, Princess, don't be like that. You know I love you, boo." Ricky stated.

"I know." I said, smally.

"I'm not a morning person. Especially not an early morning person." He laughed, quietly. "And I was already in a bad mood. My rents came home today. They fought, things broke, my mom cried, my dad threw a chair at me."

"What?" I gasped. I shouldn't have. Ricky's dad wasn't physically violent, but he threw things a lot.

"He missed me, don't worry. I laughed it off."

"How can you laugh when your dad throws thing at you?" I asked, bewildered.

"Used to it, I guess."

I sighed. "I worry about you." I rolled my eyes.

"Don't," He warned. "And tell me about this nightmare of yours. Did you have sex with Nate in this?"

"No, Ricky. We did not have intercourse." I said, slowly.

"You really know how to make it sound unappealing, you know that?"

"Shut up." I laughed though. "I don't know exactly what it was about. Elle was there. She had Novalee. She took her from me."

"It was just a dream, baby. It's not reality." Ricky assured me.

"It felt real. And I keep having nightmares. Like almost every night nowadays. What if they never go away?" I complained.

"The nightmares will go away, I promise. And until then, you got me. You can call me, I don't care what time it is, and we'll talk for as long as you need." Ricky promised.

"Thought you hated being woken up." I muttered.

"I do. The things I do for you, sissy."

I laughed, quietly. "I love you, Ricky." I whispered.

"I love you too."

X.

The next day I slept in and then took extra long to do my hair and make up, before dressing quickly in a plaid Hollister shirt, Ugg Boots and ripped jean shorts. I skipped breakfast and drove to school. Needless to say I was late for first period. Ms. Smitt said nothing. She left me alone since my outburst in her class.

I doodled all the way through first period, not paying attention. On my way to second, Angela caught up with me.

"Hey, do you have any idea why Nate hasn't been here lately?" Angela had always been so nice, I trusted her to be honest with.

"No, me and him kinda had a fight. I think he's avoiding me."

Angela laughed. "You two fight _a lot_."

"We get under each other's skin." I agreed.

Angela hesitated. "If you don't mind my asking, if you two fight so much, why do you still hang out with him?"

"We've been through so much together...We fight so much because we're so hypersensitive to each other, we can't help it. We're emotionally driven people."

"You need him." She stated, solemnly.

"Yes."

"How does Edward feel about this?" She asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I think he's fine with it..." Truth is, I have completely forgotten to think of Edward's feelings. I felt guilty, all of a sudden. He's so good to me and I can't stop being selfish for one second to return the favor.

"If he asked you to stay away from Nate, would you?" She pondered.

"Ang, I had a baby with Nate. We have a permanent tie. Nothing can change that. Edward would never ask me to stay away from Nate." I pointed out.

Angela looked uncomfortable then. "Bella-" She was cut off by the bell. "We better get to class."

I stood in the hall, wondering what she was going to say. Her words floated in my head, along with Francia's.

_"You need him."_

_"You hang around Nate to make you feel better."_

X.

By the time lunch came around, I'd still had yet to pay attention in one class. I walked into the cafeteria and sat down at one of the tables, across from Mike.

"So Bella, how's it going?" Eric asked.

"Fine. What about you?" I asked, seeing out of the corner of my eye Lauren whispering to Jess, looking right at me.

Eric babbled on but I paid more attention to Lauren's words.

"Did you see her this morning? She thinks she's so great." She said to Jessica.

"I know, right! She acts like she's perfect just because she's pretty and has a big butt." I smiled, I didn't mind that comment.

"Uhg, she's so annoying. And slutty. I bet she's blown off more guys then there are in this cafeteria."

Jessica laughed. "I wonder if she's been tested."

"Probably not. I wonder if she gave anything to Nate..." What an idiot.

"Or Edward..." Jessica added.

"Either way, she still doesn't deserve a hobo on the street corner, let alone the two hottest guys in the town."

I rolled my eyes, listening for Jessica's response. "She's not even the rich kind of slut, like on TV. She looks more like a trashy slut."

"She doesn't look trashy. She looks easy." Lauren contradicted. My eyes widened. Lauren stuck up for me. Was it snowing in hell? At least, I think easy is better than trashy...

"Whatever. Bella is still a total bitch." Jessica stated, looking down at her lunch.

I decided to jump in here. "Hey, you guys?" I called. Both looked up at me, not realizing I was listening. "Only God can judge me. I don't need a jury. Okay?"

Mike laughed. "Nice one, Bella." I fist pounded him.

X.

I arrived home to an empty house. "Hello?" I called. No one answered. Right as I was about to go upstairs, my phone vibrated. I pulled out my phone and saw the caller ID.

Dustin...

"Hey, Dusty!" I exclaimed.

"Hey, shorty."

"You're souring my mood." I said in monotone.

"Well, I just thought you should know, you ass dialed me today." He stated

"When?"

"During a test. Got me kicked out of history class. Don't worry; the teacher is a douche anyway so that doesn't matter. Did you know I got laid last night?"

Dustin had a thing for saying his entire thought process. "Um, good to know?"

"And it wasn't even a whore this time." He said, proudly.

"Happy for you, babe." I stated, surely.

"So how's your life?" He asked, knowingly.

"Do you guys sit around and talk about me there or something. Everyone seems to know about my problems." I stated.

"Not exactly. Nate tends to call and vent about you a lot. Some of us talk..." He explained.

"What'd Nate say about me?"

"You guys fought and he almost shit his pants when you almost crashed that...um how'd he word it...piece of shit, shiny sack of balls, silver rich boy bang car."

"That isn't even funny." I wrinkled my nose.

"Nate's not funny." Dustin pointed out the obvious. "'Course he'd kill me for that so don't say anything, please."

"I won't." I promised.

I talked to Dustin for hours. I had forgotten how much I missed his quirkiness and his blunt honestness. I heard Charlie's cruiser pull up as soon as I got off the phone. I ran upstairs and shut the door to my room, locking it. I didn't want to talk to Charlie tonight. He only made my moods worse and it wasn't so bad today.

I checked my email to see letter after letter from my mom.

_Bella,_

_Email me back. Now._

_Mom_

The second one was even better.

_Bella, _

_If you don't email me, I'm coming there._

She didn't even sign that one.

The third one was pathetic. No _Bella_, no _from Mom_.

_Grow up and answer my emails, young lady._

I didn't read the rest of the emails, I simply went up to the top of the page and clicked on blocked addresses. I typed my mother's email into it and saved it. That should either save me a lot of trouble or backfire. I didn't ponder that thought too long.

"Bella!" Charlie called.

"What?" I exclaimed, walking out of my room.

Charlie hesitated, once he saw me. "Well, I didn't know you were home..."

"Well, I am." I stated, simply.

"You should call your mother back." He stated, suddenly.

I turned away from him, abruptly. "Goodbye, dad." I called.

I heard the TV be turned on. I rolled my eyes. Charlie had no life. I looked through my phone, searching through my contacts when I remembered something from weeks ago.

I had missed messages.

Edward found them when we found my phone under my bed. I never bothered listening to them but I kind of wanted to now.

I scrolled to the bottom. The first one was from Francia.

"Princess, where are you? You haven't missed school in forever. Call me as soon as you get this. Love you, doll face." The message ended. I laughed at the strange nicknames we all called each other from time to time.

The next one was from Briee. "Princess, we're all freaking out. We can't get a hold of you. We're getting like really worried. Can you please call us back? Or even like, message us. We love you."

I felt a pang of remorse flow through me. She sounded seriously freaked. I turned my phone off, unable to continue to listen to the messages. It made me feel guilty.

I laid down on my bed. I was tired again. It was only 9:00 but I hadn't eaten since lunch and I didn't want to face Charlie. Funny how I said he was avoiding me and I was the one hiding in my room.

My nightmares had also been taking a lot of my energy. I sighed, shutting my eyes. Within minutes I was asleep.

When I woke again, I had a fresh amount of sweat on my forehead. I had another nightmare, only this time it was worse. It was the day I found out Novalee died, a couple days after the accident.

I reached for my phone to call Ricky but decided against it. He was sweet, sure, but I felt bad for waking him up last night. The least I could do was not to do it again, the next night, even after his offer to call anytime.

I sighed, realizing what I needed.

Nate.

I would feel better when we had spoken again and we back on good terms. But he was avoiding school and me at all costs. Francia's words once again hit me at full force.

_"You need Nate to feel better."_

I shook my head. Francia was wrong. So wrong. I don't need Nate to feel better. And even if I did, there was no way to see him at this hour and talking over the phone didn't feel right. I felt tired and dizzy from lack of sleep and the current hour. Then I remembered Gwen's words over the phone. Nate was locking up tonight.

How many times has Nate forgotten to lock up? I smiled to myself as I climbed out of bed and tiptoed out my room. I snuck down the stairs, quietly and was out the door without Charlie knowing. I started my truck and it roared to life but I doubt Charlie would know it, the way he snores. I drove as fast as I could to the Carters' house. I got there faster than I could have hoped.

Funny, how everything seems scarier at night. I quietly walked up their driveway, towards the door. It was around four in the morning. What if Nate said go away? Was I planning on talking to him right away or did I just want to see him? What was my plan of being here? Did I have one? Did it matter?

What if the door is locked and Nate did something right for once? What would I do then? Ring the doorbell?

I turned the knob carefully and it slowly opened. I had to smile, Nate was so predictable sometimes. I walked upstairs, quiet as a mouse and then I was face to face with the door that said _Naty_ on it.

When I opened the door, I saw Nate lying in bed, his mouth open, his eyes shut. He looked so peaceful sleeping. I was glad. Neither Nate nor I ever looked peaceful sleeping after Novalee died.

I looked at him for a few seconds. I felt like I could stare at him forever, but eventually I could feel my legs start to wear out. I walked over to his bed as he rolls onto his back, almost like an invitation. I kicked off my Ugg Boots and crawl up onto his bed. With my head on his chest, there was enough room for both of us.

Francia was wrong. I don't need Nate to make me feel better. I need Nate because without him, it's hard to remember who I am.

**AN: Okay, review me please! And tell me, who would you want Bella to talk with out of her old friends next? Anyhoo, I'll try to update as quick as I can but updating goes quicker with reviews motivating me. :)**


	44. Chapter 43: Midnight Nightmare

**AN: Okay, let's pretend I haven't not updated for two months. Besides, I seem to do that a lot so, I think you all should be used to it by now ;)**

**Anyhoo, This chapter is in Nate's POV. Yeppers, Nate's. **

**For reference, continuous italics are flashbacks, one or a few words out of a sentance means that word in paticular is important and I never do bold words...it's tacky. Just sayin.**

**Please read, review, visit my Facebook, Bristol Smr Love, for updates and other stuffs for this story, and please vote on my poll. Thank you. **

**And again, REVIEW(come on, I wouldn't be me if I didn't add that in here ;))**

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. Just like everyone else on this site.**

_**Nate's POV**_

_November 13th_

_"Now I'm really not pulling over." I rolled my eyes at my girlfriend. Bella could be so weird sometimes. I've wondered before if Bella and I ever listened to our own fights if they'd sound the same to us or if we'd laugh at them. Probably start fighting again, knowing us. I chuckled. Bella looked at me weird._

_"Daddy's laughing to himself." She whispered to Novalee who was sitting in the back, inside her little car seat. "I think he really went off the deep end this time. Oh well, guess it's just you and me, baby girl."_

_"Nova, your mommy thinks she's just so funny."_

_Novalee giggled, in a cute little baby voice. I wondered if she knew what we were actually saying. It'd be ironic if our baby was smart, considering neither me or Bella are. Bella would probably kick me for thinking that._

_Bella sighed, getting down to business, the way she had been doing for a while now. "For real, Nathann, I need you to pull off the road." She stated, seriously._

_I sighed too, giving up. There was no point on fighting with Bella when she acted like this. All mature and crap. She didn't just start when Novalee was born; I just stopped pushing her buttons as much._

_Yes, I said it. I purposely push Bella's buttons, just to rile her up. I doubt she notices._

_"Fine, Princess. But hurry up." I warned, pulling to the shoulder of the road._

_"Lucky for you, your kid drinks fast." She stated, unbuckling herself and twisting around to grab Novalee. She handed me our daughter as she got herself ready._

_"Hey, baby girl." I cooed at Nova. She giggled as I made a face. I lifted her shirt and blew on her belly. Novalee squealed. I couldn't help but smile back at her, looking into her beautifully bright eyes that she'd gotten from Bella's side. "Daddy loves you."_

_Bella smiled, watching us. I turned and looked at her, meeting her awed look. "What?" I asked._

_"You're a good father, Naty."_

_I beamed and leaned over to kiss Bella on the cheek. "Love you."_

_"Love you." She smiled, before pulling Novalee out of my arms. I waited, patient at first, for Bella to be done breast feeding, getting slapped when trying to grab her boob._

_I tapped my finger on the side of the door as Bella finished up. "Hold on, Nate." She grumbled, knowing I was getting bored._

_"I didn't say anything!" I exclaimed._

_Bella laughed once. "Your face did." I rolled my eyes as she rebuckled Novalee in the back, making sure she was perfectly buckled and safe, for like five minutes, then buckling herself. "Okay, let's go."_

_"'Bout time." I complained._

_"You're such a man." Bella exclaimed._

_"Dang proud of it too," I smirked, making a conscious effort not to curse._

_"Aww, good job at not swearing in front of Novalee!" She exclaimed._

_"Thanks, babe." I said as I pulled back into traffic. The stop light ahead was already green, meaning I have a limited amount of time it would stay that way._

_And this is the part I remember the most. More than the cooing or the arguing or the swearing or the laughing, smiling, kissing, glaring, hugging, harassing, the loving or any of those things from that day. I remember the moment I pressed my foot harder on the gas pedal._

_I was trying to beat that light._

_And apparently so was my brother._

_"Nate, slow down!" Bella cried._

_"It's fine, Princess, don't piss yourself." I brushed off._

_"Nate, stop!" She yelled as we entered the intersection, grabbing my arm, the light just turned yellow. "NATE!" Bella screamed at the same time as something huge collided with the car, thrusting it over, onto its side. I didn't feel any pain. Not right away._

_I felt the impacted, the felt my head, numbly wack the glass window, before it shattered. I felt myself fly forward before the seat belt restrained me. I heard the shot as mine and Bella's airbags deployed. I heard an ear splitting crack and smash as the metal frame on the car bend and snapped and the rest of the glass, everywhere, shattered._

_I felt myself rolling around, before realizing the car was flipping. I expected to hear Novalee crying or Bella shrieking or vice versa but I heard neither. I heard something blow up in the hood of the car. I felt the seat belt bruise my ribs as the car tossed me and turned me right side up to upside down to not knowing what the hell was going on._

_I remember wanting to close my eyes, wanting to wish it gone, wanting to take anything I could back._

_But I could do none of it. All I was capable of was staring and watching us fly towards the pavement over and over again. I wanted to puke, so badly._

_I didn't notice for ten minutes that it was over, all of it reeling before my eyes. We landed upside down. I looked up to see blood trickle down my arm which was hanging on the ceiling. I suddenly felt a huge burst of pain in my chest, where the seat belt held me back and an even worse one in my ribs. My head banged and felt awful, my fingers stung and burned from clinging to the wheel._

_I looked over, unable to see in the back of the car. I needed to see Novalee. I know they tell you don't move your neck after being in an accident but I needed to check on my baby._

_"Novalee, can you squeal or cry for daddy if you're okay?" I begged._

_No response._

_"Novalee?" I yelled._

_Dead silence._

_"NOVALEE!" I screamed, feeling tears come from my eyes. "COME ONNNNN!"_

_Still, all was quiet. I swear, the car was dark as if it were midnight, instead of the afternoon. I tried to stay calm. Maybe she was just knocked unconscious._

_I turned my head, looking for my girlfriend. "Princess?" I called._

_Once again, no one said anything. "Isabel!" I screamed, desperate._

_Bella didn't make a sound. I couldn't even hear her breathing. "Princess, please." I cried, full on sobbing. I turned my neck, enough to find her, easier than Novalee because she was right next to me._

_I choked when I saw Bella. Her head was leaning against the glass, her face bruised, her neck in a weird position, her forehead bleeding, her arms dangling. Her seat belt held her in but I could see blood dripping out of her nose and mouth. Her ear was bloody too. She was paler than before, despite her fake tan._

_"Bella," I gasped._

_I reached over but was restrained by the fricken seat belt again. I listened closely, trying to hear for a siren but all I make out was the quiet, bone chilling silence that filled my ears and paralyzed me into place._

_And all I could think was, I was totally alone._

_I had lost them both._

I flew up, shaking, sweat covering my forehead, gasping for air. I looked around to see my room surrounding me, almost immediately realizing I was not alone.

"Princess?" I gasped, shakily.

She murmured in her sleep, groggily before burying her face in my chest again, as I laid back down. When did she get here? Did we...

No, I'd definitely remember if we'd had sex. _Definitely_.

I sighed, the nightmare still behind my eyes. I quickly wrapped my arms around Bella, as tight as they'd go; needing to know that she'd survived the crash. I remembered how I originally thought she hadn't. And when I found out she had, I-stupidly-thought Novalee had too.

Then those damn doctors had the nerve to tell our parents before me.

And everyone knew before Bella. Everyone. She was unconscious for three days after the accident. I remember so much else. I remember feeling alone and empty and like I was going to fade away, with no purpose in life, no reason to live.

I remember not wanting to see anyone. How I found out from the doctor, that it was my brother had driven the other car. That it wasn't my fault for rushing through the light because Ryann was high and didn't even stop, crashing into us at 60 miles an hour. I remember how I pushed past my parents and Renee going straight for Ryann's room. I yelled and screamed and cried, to his unconscious body, demanding to no one that he'd be handcuffed to the bed. I even remember how Elle begged me to stop and not to press charges.

When she said that, I punched her. So _hard_. The only time in my life that I'd ever hit a girl and the last time I ever will.

The worst part is I didn't feel sorry.

And here I was, years later, still having the same nightmare over and over again. I know Bella had them too. It's why we used to sleep together after the accident. We couldn't handle being alone when they occurred.

Is that why Bella was here now? How'd she get into my house? Who let her in?

Who cares, honestly? Bella had her ways and I was sick of questioning them. Besides, I forgot to lock up anyway so at least it's just Bella.

I kissed her forehead, pulling her further under the blanket with me. Bella understood nightmares. They were one of the only normal we could count on coming back.

Normal in our lives is like a blanket too short for the bed. Sometimes it covers you fine but other times it leaves you shivering and shaking. And the worst part is you'll never know which you're gonna get.

I remember telling Bella that Novalee died and how she kicked and screamed, until she fainted from exhaustion. She taught me something that day. You don't need to be awake to cry.

I wished I could sleep for the longest time, but I could scarcely blink. The doctors eventually sedated me to sleep when I couldn't on my own.

And through all this shit and pain, Charlie Swan didn't even know anything was wrong with his only child.

So, I have to ask, why did he get a second chance sixteen years too late when I was there every day of Novalee's life? She was my first priority. I'd give anything for her. I'd give anything for Bella too but if I'm being honest with myself, I'd give up Bella for Novalee.

Does that make me a bad person? I don't think so because I'm pretty sure Bella would do the same. She better, at least.

I sighed, tears filling my eyes again, just thinking about Novalee. I kissed Bella's head again, remembering how much their facial features were the same. I remembered how that day Bella had to make sure Novalee was secure in the car seat before I could pull back out.

What if I had listened to first time Bella told me to pull over? What if we'd not argued and what if we got through that light before Ryann showed up? Someone else would have gotten hit and then it wouldn't have been my family.

I couldn't stop questioning myself, though, if it had been someone else, would I have stood by my brother. Supported him and asked him to get help. It really isn't fair. I didn't understand why it was my daughter. Why it was my brother? Couldn't have been someone else's daughter?

It was bad enough that my baby girl got killed-the worst thing to ever happen to me-but did it really have to be my brother? For Christ's sake, if it had to happen, couldn't it have been some random dude, not the guy I spent my prepubescent years idolizing!

Why did God do this to me?

**AN: Sad :(**

**Reminds me of one of Bella's chapters. So next chapter is going to be happier and fluffier and it will include Nate's fam bam. And it'll be in Bella's POV again. So if you want that to come quicker please review because that's my motivation.**

**:D **


	45. Chapter 44: The Carter's

**AN: I'll keep this short and sweet. I love reviews. They're my motivation, my bread and butter, all of the above. Well, good reviews are.**

**Please review. It'll help me update quicker and feel free to stock me on facebook if I take too long. (And that is under the name Bristol Smr Love)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

When I opened my eyes for the first time, it felt like it had only been a few hours since I went to sleep. I mumbled something incoherent then leaned upwards. Nate, still unconscious, somehow pushed me back down into his chest where I laid my head. I sunk back into sleep and slept like a baby.

Hours passed and we just stayed like that, cuddling comfortably. Then we woke up for the second time. Only, this time we were woken by other people. "Aww, look at them!" Claire cooed.

"They're just for freakin' cute!" Aidenn mocked.

"Man, just look at where his hand is..." Claire pointed out suggestively. I noticed this and sleepily felt for his hand. It was on my ass. Really? Even in his sleep, he couldn't kept his hands to himself?

They were silent for a full minutes before Aidenn spoke. "Looks like she doesn't mind..." He teased.

"For the love of God, go away!" I yelled, sleepily.

"Nope." They said, together.

"If you both are not gone in three seconds," Nate grumbled, into my hair, "I'm going to jump out of this bed, dunk Aidenn's head down the toilet, give him a black eye then toss him out the window pants less. And Claire, I'll lock you outside in the pouring freakin rain if you don't leave too."

Who knew big brothers could be so dramatic?

"I think he needs some song to wake him up." Aidenn said, cheerfully, unfazed by Nate's threats.

"I think he does too, Aids. Let's do this."

I groaned, burying my face deeper into Nate's chest. "Seriously." I mumbled.

"I can see clearly now, the rains all gone!" They sang together. "I can see all the obstacles in my way!"

"You guys are losers!" Nate screamed, covering my ears so I didn't get blasted.

They started on a second verse when Nate pushed me over to the other side of the bed and flew at Aidenn, chasing him out of the room. Claire laughed as her brothers went running down the stairs.

"So when did you get here?" She asked, teasing me.

"Sometime last night." I said, sheepishly.

She giggled. "I heard someone come in but I was too scared to check. So thank you for giving me a heart attack."

"Sorry, babe."

"I'll live."

Nate returned two minutes later, grabbed Claire by the ear and flung her out into the hallway. "See you at breakfast!" He called, slamming the door. He huffed. "My siblings."

"I love your family, Naty." I giggled.

"Those two are little shitheads."

"They're your little brother and sister." I said, pointedly. "I'd trade your family for mine."

"I'd trade yours for mine." He mocked.

"'Kay, you live with Charlie, I'll hang with your sibs." I leaned back on his bed, folding my arms behind my head.

"Very funny." Nate gave me a look. "Have fun with Tom."

"You love your dad." I teased.

"So do you."

"Says who?" I exclaimed.

"If you didn't, it wouldn't matter if he cared about you or not." Nate knew he had me there by the gleam in his eyes.

I stayed silent for a minute. "Point taken." I finally said.

Nate froze. "What? You just agreed with me?" He exclaimed, unable to believe it.

"Yeah..." I stated.

"This is like a historical moment, Princess. You never agree with anything I say!" Nate beamed, proud for some reason.

"Well if you didn't try to...um, what's the word?" I pretended to think. "_Rile_ me up?"

"Oh...You heard me say that?" He looked like he got caught in the cookie jar before dinner.

"Did you know you sleep talk as much as I do?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Now I know." He grinned, showing his sparkly white teeth Kayla dotted on in the 8th grade.

"You are such a dork, Naty." I shook my head.

Nate snorted. "Yeah, you're one to talk," He stated, picking up his shirt from a few days ago off the floor and pulling it over his head. "I remember how you flashed everyone at Cylr's party in the 7th grade."

"It was the 8th grade, actually and you _would_ remember that."

"Not too well. We were all drinking." He pointed out.

"True." I agreed.

"Get up," Nate ordered, smacking my butt.

"Okay." I rolled my eyes. Nate gave me a weird look. "What?" I snapped.

"You're being agreeable today." Nate said, sounding shocked. He grabbed his phone off his nightstand.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm checking the weather." He stated, blankly.

"Why?"

"Hell must have frozen over."

I gave him a look. "I'm going to use the bathroom. When I come back, try to act more..." I struggled for the right word. "Normal."

I laughed to myself quietly as I entered the bathroom. After being done, I started to wash my hands. I glanced up at the mirror, just to see my own reflection with horror. My makeup was smeared or missing, my bra was visible and my belly ring was twisted. Don't even get me started on my tangled, curly hair. I was still critiquing my appearance when Nate popped in. "Hey!" I exclaimed. "What if I was still using the toilet?"

"It's not like I haven't seen you naked, Princess." Nate stated, pointedly.

"Not in the last three years."

"You don't remember our grief sex?" Nate teased before my eyes widened. How could he mention that time in our lives so lightly? "What?" He asked, grabbing my chin.

I shoved him away. "How can you joke about that?" I accused, turning back to the sink.

"Because jokes make it easier to deal with." Nate said, blankly, staring at the running water. "We never did resolve our fight from that night in the thunderstorm." He said, quietly.

I sighed. _This_ was why I came over here today, I reminded myself. But when I tried to find a way to apologize, I realized I didn't know what I was saying sorry to. "Do you even remember what we fought about?"

"Something that started out with your boyfriend."

"Don't bring Edward into this." I warned. "It's not his fault."

Nate sighed, "You're right. Does he even know you're here?"

"No." I said, meekly, looking at my hands.

"Is he gonna be pissed?"

"Maybe." I looked away. "Can we get back on topic, Nate." I changed the subject, not wanting to think of my vampire boyfriend right now while I was with my ex. It seemed like a good idea to come over here last night. . . . . .

Nate was silent for a moment. "Our fights get stupider and stupider." He offered up.

"They've always been dumb." I mumbled, almost unbearable.

"I know." Nate agreed, quietly. "I think we both need to learn to not be so sensitive."

"Yeah, we do." i nodded.

"So, are we good?" He asked after a minute of silence.

"Yep." I looked around. This has got to be our most awkward conversation to date.

"Okay, well then I'm just going to wash my hands and help Juliannah with breakfast." None of that sounded like something Nate would say but I moved over anyway, to let him near the still running water. Nate started washing his hands, while I kept thinking about Edward when I felt something wet soak one side of my face.

"You didn't?" I froze in bewilderedment.

"You looked like you needed a good splash." Nate shrugged. "I figured you wouldn't mind."

I chuckled, darkly, shaking my head. "Oh not at all. And of course, you won't mind if I give you a splash. It looks like you need one as well." I smirked. "In fact," I yanked out the fancy hose in the side bar of the sink. "Why don't I give you a nice big soak." I pressed the handle and shot water straight into his face.

Nate's eyes opened for a second before I turned to run. He grabbed my waist and my flailing arms and legs. "You know, the shower in this house is really great. Why don't you come see for yourself?" Nate started dragging me over towards the shower when I kicked him in his shin, forcing myself out of his arms.

"Ha!" I laughed in his face of confusion.

I ran and grabbed the hose from the sink and squirted it, covering Nate's entire back with water. Nate shook his head and laughed. "Don't worry about that, Bella. Don't worry, at all. I'll get you back." He finally got a hold on that showerhead and sprayed me with it.

I screamed. "No! Stop!" But I was laughing too.

"Oh, now you want me to stop?" Nate taunted. "I'm just getting started, baby." I continued to splash Nate with the hose from the sink, a weak defense to his shower head. "Ready to give up?" Nate smiled at me a smile I almost never saw on him anymore.

It made me realize how little fun we've had with each other since he got back. And it made me crave more times like this, him and me.

And I wanted more happy times with Edward and me.

Nate had me soaked, from each inch of my body and yet I was still laughing. I was born stubborn though, so I put up one last defense. I faked dropping my hose and continued to laugh. Nate, thinking I forfeited, dropped the showerhead, carelessly-the way I knew he would.

Before he could realize what I was doing, I dove for it. Gripping the showerhead into my palms I sprayed him directly in the face.

"Princess!" He exclaimed, getting a mouth full of water.

"Yeah, Naty?" I grinned.

He was now just as soaked at me. "I'm gonna get you." He ran at me, picking me up, this time so that I was facing him. I squealed, still squirting him in the face with the shower head, when Nate slipped.

I gasped as I landed on the counter and Nate all but missed the floor. We both cracked up, unable to stop the hysterics.

"What. The. Living. Hell?" Summer exclaimed, shocked in the doorway.

"Eh, you know. Just having some fun." I said, trying to be casual and failing. Nate was laughing too hard to respond to his sister.

"Okay," Summer, the oldest girl, took control. Just like she always did when her little brother got himself and possibly her in trouble. "You, get down from there," She lifted me off the counter. I didn't realize till I touched the ground that the floor was pretty much floating with a good foot of water. "You, go get up." She pulled Nate upwards by the hand. "I'm going to give Bella other clothes to wear, you change your clothes, we're going to shut this door and we till mom and dad we had a pile burst. Got it?" There was Summer's brilliant plan.

"Gotcha." Nate tended to listen to Summer where his parents were involved, knowing firsthand how Summer could get out of anything. Out of all the kids, Summer was the biggest partier, the pain the ass and the biggest resemblance to Kayla herself. Summer was still a total kiss up to Tom, though she was a few years beyond the age of legal adulthood and, though this will never be admitted, she was Tom's favorite.

Summer dragged me into her room and plopped me down on her bed. She started tossing clothes from her dresser to the floor. "Oooh! Look at this, Princess!" She held up a blue halter top and jean shorts with a belt.

"Why do I need a belt?"

"It's an accessory. Who cares, it looks cute." She exclaimed, tossing the clothes in my face. "Put them on."

"My boobs will not fit into this, Summer. There's no way," I stared at her shirt, stretched from her double D cup size.

"Do you wanna look like a drowned rat?" She asked, smirking at me.

I caved. Summer was helping me with the belt when Nate entered in different clothes. "Hey," He called.

"Hey," Summer said, adjusting the belt on my waist as I admired Summer's handiwork with safety pins in the breast area of the shirt.

"Umm, Summer, don't I need a bra?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nah, who cares anyway."

I looked in the full length mirror Summer kept in her room. "Are you sure the shorts don't make my ass look big?" I asked, again, examining. Nate and Summer both snickered. "Shut up, you two." I called, over my shoulder, not looking away from my reflection.

"Princess, you're ass if huge in anything. Doesn't matter if it's a paper bag or a designer dress." Nate remarked, still laughing at me.

"Shut up, Nate."

X.

We soon joined the others downstairs. Juliannah was trying to make breakfast as Claire and Aidenn were fighting over a handheld video game.

"Give it to your sister, Aids." Nate grunted, plopping down on the bar stool next to me.

"But I had it first." Aidenn whined.

"She's pregnant." Was all Nate cared to say.

I took it he still wasn't over his issues with his sister. Summer rolled her eyes. "Don't listen to him, Claire. You don't walk on water for getting knocked up." Summer called over her shoulder.

"Gee, Summer, thanks for that." Claire mimicked. "Hey, Princess?" Claire asked me, slowly.

"Huh?"

"Did you ever, you know. Get rid of your maternity clothes?" Claire asked slowly. "Or Novalee's baby clothes? Because we're kind of low on money. . . . ." I no longer could hear Claire, for a ringing shot through my eardrums.

It was a simple request. Simple. Not hard to comprehend or answer by any means. But the color drained from my face and I froze. Nate, instantly, grabbed my hands.

"Look what you did, stupid." Juli scolded Claire.

"I didn't think she'd react like that!" Claire defended.

"Are you an idiot?" Juliannah asked. "Why the hell would you ask Bella that?"

Claire remained silent but somehow I think everyone knew Juli's anger was directed at another issue other than my sensitivity.

"Come here," Nate pulled me towards him. "I'm sorry my sister said that. She's a retard."

"No, she's not. It's me, Naty. I'm just," I had to gasp for air. "I'm oversensitive."

"No, you're not. Claire knows everyone is mad at her, so she's putting her foot in her mouth. If she was smart, she'd shut up." Nate directed right at Claire.

Claire pushed herself away from the table she was sitting at and ran from the room, into the back deck. "Nate," I started as Juliannah and Summer took their breakfast into the living room.

"She deserves it, Princess."

"How?" I exclaimed, feeling slightly protective of Claire.

Nate looked at me for a moment. "I guess you wouldn't understand." He whispered. "You've never had any brothers or sisters."

"What's that have to do with the way you're treating your baby sister?" I asked, still cross.

Nate looked at me, incredulously. "I'm a middle sibling." He stated.

"And?"

"So is Juli. Me and her stick together when crisis hit the family. Claire is the baby of the entire family. She's used to getting attention and people usually like her. When she screws up, she blames it on being young. When the rest of us screw up, we don't get that much slack." Nate explained. I waited patiently for him to continue. "When I got you pregnant, my dad lectured me for days. He yelled at me. But then Claire gets pregnant and he's _so_ supportive."

"I'm sorry," I squeezed his hand, knowing how it feels to be lost in the shuffle. "What's this have to do with Juli though?" Nate hesitated. "Oh, god." I suddenly remembered me and Gwen's conversation on the phone. "Juli's bulimic," I gasped.

Nate raised an eyebrow. "Gwen told you that?"

"Yeah." I admitted, sheepishly. Nate shook his head, grimly.

"Nope. Juli's not bulimic." His eyes weren't relieved like I would have thought.

"You don't sound too happy about that?" I questioned. Nate sighed.

"I think she has an ulcer." He whispered.

I gasped. "Oh god, Nate. I'm so sorry."

"Apologize to her, not me." He laughed once, short and not too sweet. "My parents are too wrapped up to notice anyone but Claire right now but when they do finally acknowledge another one of us, it won't be one of the middle kids."

I nodded, understanding. "But it's still not fair to make Claire's life a living hell because you're parents are acting like assholes." I pointed out.

Nate shook his head, looking away. "I think I'm moving out soon anyway, so Claire won't have to worry about me."

I started to ask why he was moving out soon, but then it dawned on me. Nate can't handle living in a house with a baby present.

I didn't realize I'd spoken aloud until Nate spoke. "Exactly."

I took a deep breath and remained silent for a moment. "You're right. I don't understand what it's like to have siblings. I wish I did. I think it's pretty obvious by now, I spent most of childhood alone."

"That's not true. You had friends." Nate snapped.

"Friends are there when you need them, your friends' lives don't revolve around you." I concluded. Nate was staring past me, burning a whole into the wall. "Nathann Bryce Carter, listen to me. If you move out, push your sister away or never get to know your niece or nephew, you're going to regret it later. You and me are both driven by our emotions and are often times, very wrong for it. I get that you want to remove any traces of Novalee. It's your way of coping. Mine is lashing out. But please don't wreck your life, because you're afraid to be around what we lost."

"It's not that easy." He scowled.

"Don't I know it?"

Nate stared at me for a long time before sighing. "Well, I can't fix it today." He stated. "Claire is such a drama queen. She's going to mope for a week."

I looked towards the window that showed the deck. Outside, Claire was sitting alone, crying, looking down, her hands on her stomach. "I think I can." I pulled away and grabbed a few tissues.

I approached slowly, trying to come across as gentle. I sat across from her, wiping under eyes with the tissues in my hands. "Nate didn't mean what he said, Claire Bear." I comforted. "He's just upset."

"He's right. I do make everyone around me angry." She cried. "I ruin their lives."

"No, you don't, babe. No, you don't. They love you."

"Nate has hated me since I got pregnant!" She exclaimed.

I wiped away her eyeliner that had smeared. "Your brother loves you. He's acting like this only because he's jealous. He's. . . ." I struggled for the right word. "He's a difficult person, but that's only because so many things have happened to him that he feels like he can't trust anyone."

Claire sighed. "I know." She whispered. "I'm really sorry about bringing up Nova. It was tacky."

I shook my head. "It's no problem. I'm over it."

"I love you." Claire hugged me around the neck.

"I love you too." I whispered, suddenly a lump formed in my throat.

I did love Claire. She was a sweet kid, really she was. But the truth is, I resented her. I realized it in that moment. She was able to have a chance at motherhood, one that would always be tainted for me. She was gaining what I lost. I couldn't find it in my heart to feel sorry for her about the father being a jerk, all guys are at one point or another. Claire was so innocent and helpless, incapable of taking care of anyone, including herself in anyone's eyes. Yet, here comes a baby, ready or not. I felt my hands turn to fists, clawing her shirt.

"Bella?" Claire spoke, tearfully.

"Yeah?"

"You'd be a great mother."

X.

Claire and me entered the house, holding hands. Nate peered up, still sitting on a barstool. His eyes met his sister's and Claire skipped ahead of me, rushing to Nate. Nate enveloped her into his embrace.

"I love you, baby." He whispered to her.

"I love you too." Claire cried. Looking at them, I remembered all those times Ryann had pissed Nate off when we were younger. After he'd forgiven him, like he always swore he wouldn't but did anyway, I had asked why he'd never held a grudge against his big brother. Nate's answer was always the same.

_"You can't stay mad at your siblings. They mean more to you than you realize."_

Nate, Claire and I returned to the rest of the Carter siblings soon enough, now located in the living room. Summer was more welcoming to Claire now. We were all laughing and giggling at things we wouldn't remember in ten years when Kayla and Tom arrived home.

"Hello, kids!" Kayla called.

"Offspring," Tom nodded at us. "And my favorite girl!" He pointed at me, half laying on Summer, half on Nate. I giggled, as Nate nudged me, rolling his eyes, until Kayla screamed.

"What the hell happened to the bathroom!"

**AN: Again, I didn't plan for it to take this long to update, but you know life. It gets in the way sometimes. Everyone enjoy your New Year.**

**The next chapter will have Charlie, Nate, The Carters, and possibly the Cullens. If not, they'll be in the chapter after that. Charlie will play a big role in the next chapter. It's not going to be the same old fight him and Bella have been having lately.**


	46. Chapter 45: Kicked Out

**AN: Okay, sooo I don't know if people don't review or read more so on holidays(which is to be expected) or if it's because the last few chapters have been slow or whatever but come on. I need more than 4 reviews, guys. I love you and everything but come on. Give me at least 11.**

**Okay, that does sound greedy, I admit. Especially considering some people on this site would love to get just 4 reviews-is it me or do more people not review as much anymore?-but please review, even if you just write a few words. Means a lot to me. Probably more than you know.**

**Anyway I do want to thank the four people who did review. Ashley (I'm no longer referring to you as you're user name, just because I see your name on Facebook enough. Not being creepy at all. Seriously.), I'm always happy when you review because you review and say a lot. Makes me happy. HappyKitty95, I love it when you review too. I loved your longer reviews before but yeah, I know, I take a long ass time to update and not much happens. ixdookiie I was also very happy to get your review. And Lizzie Sixx, you're consistent with reviews and I like that(:**

**Okay, sooo this chapter is coming out pretty close to the last one. Maybe I didn't wait long enough for other people who were busy on New Years to read the last one but I'm trying to speed up my updates so here's the next chapter.**

I spent the night at Nate's again that night. I laughed inwardly how no one thought anything weird of it. They probably would have thought it was weird if I didn't stay, actually. I didn't think much of Charlie though. Him and me had almost gotten to the point where we didn't care what the other one was doing. Or that's how I saw it, at least.

I borrowed Summer's clothes again the next day. Her tops always made me feel really flat chested, which made Nate laugh in my face. Jerk.

"I'm gonna go, guys." I stated, after finishing my breakfast with Carter kids. Their parents, who found out their bathroom was flooded the night before, in which Kayla yelled at Nate and me, like I was one of her kids as well and then Tom, who initially laughed at it-according to Nate, because he loved me-got drunk after listening to Kayla bitching for hours. Honestly, this one time, I couldn't blame Tom. I kind of wanted to go get drunk while listening to Kayla bitch and moan about how her bathroom is not up to the standard her country club friends' bathroom was up to. Which pretty much means Kayla is really saying Nate and the rest of her family aren't as good as the rest of her rich friends.

She went on for a while, until she realized no one was listening to her and she went to bed, waking up the next morning, pleasant as ever to me. Not speaking to her husband or son though.

Typical Kayla Carter.

"Do you really have to go, Princess?" Claire whined, in between stuffing her mouth with the breakfast Juliannah

"Yeah, I probably should go home at least once a week before the Chief puts everyone in your family down for kidnapping me." I teased.

"See ya, Princess." Nate mumbled, through eggs and bacon. "Come back soon."

"Chew, then talk, Nate. You sound illiterate." Juliannah scolded. Nate scowled at his sister.

"Thanks for the clothes, Summer." I called as I left.

"No problem."

As I drove I realized I needed gas. I hadn't gotten gas since the day I found out Charlie had spread rumors about me. I made a face at the memories as I pulled in next to an empty pump. I was filling my tank when someone tapped me on the shoulder. My breath caught until I saw who it was.

"Mike!" I exclaimed. "What the hell! Don't do that to me!"

He laughed. "Sorry, Bella."

I laughed when I calmed down. "What's up?"

"I was just thinking last night. . . .Um, Bella you used to visit Charlie here when you were thirteen, right?" Mike seemed nervous.

"Yeah," I wasn't sure where he was going with this.

He took a deep breath and then rushed out his next words. "I was thinking last night while trying to go to sleep, about how this one time I was working in my parent's store over summer break and I remembered how you came in and distracted me with your outfit and then you stole stuff and showed up on a security tape." He seemed nervous for my reaction.

To his shock I laughed. "I'm sorry, Mike. Do you need me to pay for it right now?"

"No, it's okay." A smile crept up on his face. "The Chief already took care of it years ago."

"Really?" Charlie knew I shoplifted and never said anything.

"I think your mom cussed him out when he tried to talk to her about it." Mike added slowly.

Renee? Why would she do that? "Weird." Is all I said as I turned back to pay for my gas.

"Yeah, so I'll see you at school." Mike said after I stopped talking.

"Awkward." I said to myself as he walked away.

X.

I drove home, listening to the radio playing one of the songs I listened to when I was younger. I was still singing it as I walked in the house, dancing as I walked.

Charlie was sitting on the couch staring at the wall. The kind of thing you see on CNN or horror movies. I remained silent, slowly heading upstairs when Charlie yelled, "Get back here!"

I pivoted on the stairs. "What?" I said, simply.

"Where the hell have you been for the past two days? I go to bed one night and wake up and you're gone? And then you don't offer any explanation for why you went AWOL?" He was turning red in the face.

"I'm sorry, okay? You aren't my priority. I didn't think about you." I felt my emotions rising and my stomach dropping.

"You didn't think about me? I was going nuts, Isabella! Nuts! How could you not pick up a damn phone! I was feeling sick!" He yelled.

"Sorry," I shrugged. He was about to continue so I just kept talking. "I'm sorry that I'm not perfect, Charlie. I can't change that. You ignore me one day, won't speak to me the next, and yet I'm supposed to know you want me to let you in on my plans. I don't plan ahead too much and even if I did, you don't act like you care about how I feel-actually, you've proven that by spreading lies and making everyone hate me and harass me-so why the hell should I care about what you feel?"

"I'm your father-" He started.

"And I'm sick of always having the same fights with you. I'm over it!" I yelled as I went to storm upstairs.

"No, Bella, you're not over it. You're grounded, until I say you're not." I froze. "I won't tolerate any more backtalk or you running around, doing whatever you want with whoever you want and you need to change the way you dress." He ordered.

"No." I stated, defiantly.

"Excuse me?"

I pivoted again. "Did I stutter? I. Said. No." I said, almost tainting.

"If you don't do as I say-" Charlie threatened, a new light coming to his eyes.

"What? What are you going to do, Dad? I'm eighteen. A legal adult."

Charlie shook his head, almost smirking. "You think you're an adult? Okay then, get out of my house. Go take care of yourself."

My heart skipped a beat; all the breath suddenly left my lungs. "Are you kicking me out?" I whispered, all fight suddenly gone.

"Yes." He didn't budge, no argument in his eyes.

"Daddy-"

"Don't daddy me, Isabella. Think you're so tough. Prove it." When those words came from his mouth, I saw something on his face that gave me every answer I needed.

Charlie never believed me. He didn't believe Novalee was real. Oh my god. Charlie thought I made everything up. That's why he turned the whole town against me. He lied to them too. Everyone believed him because he told them I was lying.

As soon as the shock passed, the hurt followed. He didn't believe me?

I couldn't live with someone who didn't believe me. I couldn't trust someone who didn't believe me.

And the look in his eyes now told me, he'd given up on me.

"If you want to stay, you need to follow-" Charlie began again.

"Forget it, Charlie. I can't stand to be around you anymore," I called as I ran to my room and started packing. I yanked out the tubs from under the bed. I shoved them in a suitcase so fast you'd think I was a vampire.

I shoved everything I felt I needed into suitcases then zipped them all up quickly. Opening my window quickly, I tossed them out the window, knowing anything of mine that was breakable was in one of my purses.

I hooked all my purses onto my arms, when I looked back. My key to the house was on my desk. For some reason I grabbed it and shoved it deep into my bra.

_Just for old times sake_, I said to myself, half aware I was lying.

As I walked from the room, I turned and looked around. The only thing that had changed was the desk and bed had been added. The rest was my room. My room since I was a newborn, my room all my life, the place I'd known as a baby, adorable toddler, cute little girl, a dramatic pre teen and now a unindefinable teenager.

The only constant place I've ever known. No matter what changed in my life, this room didn't.

I took a deep breath. I needed to be strong and get the hell out of here. I marched down the stairs and out the front door, without looking at Charlie until he called me.

"I'm keeping the truck. If you leave with it, I'll arrest you for stealing." It seemed to me, he wanted to arrest me.

He held out his hands for the key. I dug them out of my pock and then chucked them at his head, smacking him straight in the forehead. "Are you gonna arrest me for assault?" I mocked, grabbing my suitcases and standing them up.

In response, he merely shut the front door. To anyone else watching, it was nothing. To me it was a way of saying 'I'm done with you'.

So be it.

X.

I called Nate to come and get me. I wanted to call Edward but once again he was on his hunting trip. That's what I told myself. That's what I wanted to believe. But I knew it wasn't completely true. I knew the real reason I wouldn't call Edward. I felt like trash when his family was amazing and mine was horrendous.

Mother is a used to be addict, useless parent who abandoned me seventeen years into my life. Father couldn't care less about me, until I pushed myself into his life, now he's gotten rid of me again. Who would want that for a partner? Even vampires have standards higher than that. Especially 1918 ones.

That reminded me of something else though. "Nate?" I said, looking up at Nate, who was parking the car.

"Yeah?" He met my eyes.

"Charlie thinks we lied about Novalee. He thinks she's not real." I said, in a small voice. How could my own father, flesh and blood, not believe me?

Nate froze for a good minute, processing it, before speaking. "Is he an idiot? Doesn't he know, no one would make up a lie like that?"

"Guess not." I said, smally.

"You know, it's a good thing he kicked you out. He's a jackass, son of a bitch. I hope he falls off a cliff." I laughed. Nate seemed to brighten at that. "I'm serious. Next time I see him I'm going to tell him to go sit on a cactus."

I cracked up at that. "Thanks." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. He picked me up and lifted me out of the car.

"For what?" He breathed into my hair.

"For making me feel better."

X.

"Are you okay?" Nate asked me as I plopped down on the couch inside the Carters'.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" I felt a little numb. Like the world was spinning so fast and I was standing still, soon to get motion sickness.

"You just got kicked out of your house, babe. I can't even imagine. . . ." Nate trailed off, unsure how to continue.

I bit back my sudden tears that wanted to spill over. "I didn't see it coming, that's for sure." I snarked.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It wasn't you're fault." My voice came out harsher than I expected.

Nate rubbed my knee. "Is there any way I can make you feel better?"

"No," I said, shakily, trying to blink back my tears. I didn't want cry about Charlie again. But I can't change my emotions. And being kicked out of my own house really hit me where it hurts. I didn't expect it.

No matter how many times in my life I screwed up, Renee, at least, never kicked me out. And she always forgave me when I needed it.

Suddenly, in comparison to Charlie, Renee seemed like a better parent.

Kayla clicked her high heels, walking downstairs. "Nate, baby, where are you?" Her southern twang rang out.

"In the living room, mom." Nate called.

She walked into the room, still doing her lipstick. "Sweetie, can you go to the store with daddy when he gets home? He needs help picking out food and-" Kayla noticed me as she put her mirror down. "Oh hey, Princess!"

"Hi." I sniffed. Kayla's face changed to concerned, grabbing a tissue off the coffee table and wiped my eyes, careful not to mess with my mascara.

"Doll, what's up?"

I shook my head. "Nothing." I said, at the same time as Nate answered.

"The Chief kicked her out."

Kayla shut her eyes then started cursing out a string of profanities that sounded actually really natural in her voice. More than anything though, she reminded me of Renee in that moment.

"She's staying here until her boyfriend comes back into town," Nate continued, no question in his voice.

"Yeah, that's no problem." Kayla quickly agreed. "I'm going to go talk to your sister, Nate because you know how Claire is at that crucial stage of her pregnancy." Kayla babbled as she leaned down to kiss Nate. "Take care of Princess." She added, winking at me. I smiled, faintly. Before she left, she looked back at the coffee table, in which me and Nate, along with Aidenn had been playing bullshit and seeing who could catch popcorn in their mouth and had about a hundred DVDs from last night. "Clean that up." She added, sternly as she walked out the door to find Claire.

Now she really was reminding me of Renee. Strangely, I wanted Renee right now actually. I wanted to be able to cry to someone who can do and say things only mothers can do. I craved that, so badly.

I'd never known a father's affection but I knew a mother's.

I didn't realize the tears had started falling until too late and there was no way I could stop them. Nate immediately leaned forward and pulled me into his arms.

"What's wrong, Princess?" He asked, concern shining in his eyes.

"I want my mom."

**AN: Okay, Cullens are coming back next chapter, Edward and Bella are going to interact and Bella will actually have a moment with a Cullen besides Edward. Nate's gonna be there too though. Well not with Edward and Bella but he'll be in the mix. You'll see.**

**Review me and you'll see A LOT quicker! Pweety please!**


	47. Chapter 46: Aftermath

**AN: So this took a LOT longer than I anticipated but I have some other things going on in my life. Not school or anything. I actually have really awful anxiety problems that require therapy and other stuff so I can be slow on updating. **

**But reviews are my motivation that keeps me going so you know. . . . take a hint and review please(:**

**Thank you to the many that review me last chapter. It meant so much to me. It's honestly what got me to work my ass off the past few days to update. So please keep reviewing and thank you if you already have. **

**Oh, another thing is I think I need a beta. Just throwing that out there incase anyone's interested or knows anyone. **

**And I also have posted another story on here, Permanent. Just letting you guys know. I wasn't planning on starting two stories at once but I decided to anyway so it's on my profile. I may start posting the other ones I've written too but yeah for now, this stroy is still my priority, because it has the largest following.**

**And also please vote on the poll and add me on Facebook, link on profile. Thanks(:**

**So please read and review. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

A mom is someone who you can turn to, no matter what. Someone who won't judge you, who will guide you, who will love you, always, no matter what. So what happens when your mom isn't around anymore? What happens when you need them and they aren't there?

I've heard dads can be helpful but not mine. There is no magical bond between me and Charlie. Charlie never had the patience, time or the commitment for children. Renee at least tried to grow up some. I mean, I was a happy child, sometimes. I had a lot of good memories. And as much as I complain about my mom, she got me through so much.

So now, I'm lost without her, I realized.

Leave it to Charlie to make Renee seem like a good parent.

Kayla and Tom were very nice about the situation but they were, exactly what Nate has always said, useless at times. Kayla bitches about every little thing. Tom drinks over _everything_. Part of me wonders why the hell they're still married.

Luckily before I lost my mind, Edward came back into town.

He had a few choice words for Charlie when I told him I'd gotten kicked out. Once he'd gotten that out of his system, he said, "You're better off without him. All that fighting probably isn't good for you."

I shrugged, unable to think of an actual reaction. "I just didn't see it coming." I whispered.

"I know, love." Edward pulled me into his lap. "Some people should never be parents." He mumbled but I don't think I was supposed to hear that.

A different question was bugging me. "Edward, did you already know Charlie didn't believe that Novalee was real?" I asked. Nate had predicted it but Edward was a mind reader. He could have seen it coming.

"Yes, Sweetheart, I knew."

I jumped out of his lap. "What the hell!" I exclaimed. "You knew and you kept your mouth shut!" I felt betrayal wash over me.

"It would have upset you!" Edward exclaimed, standing up too.

"Oh yeah, and I'm not upset right now!"

"Bella, please-"

"How could you lie to me!" I yelled, infuriated.

Edward threw his hands up in the air, "I'm sure Nate lies a lot more than I do!" A second as saying it, his face fell. "Sorry." He murmured.

I shook my head. His words snapped it into perspective. "No, you're right. Nate does lie to me. I shouldn't expect you to be any different." I turned and walked out of the room.

I could almost hear him rolling his eyes.

I walked into Alice's room without knocking, hoping her and Jasper weren't busy. Or getting busy.

They weren't. Alice was doing her makeup as I walked in. "Hi!" She exclaimed brightly.

"This is getting so annoying." I exclaimed. "Everywhere I turn all I do is fight with people."

"Edward means well. He's always gone overboard to protect you." Alice pointed out.

"I guess I expect Edward to be better than Nate." I mumbled. Alice laughed. "What?"

"Edward can't be held to a higher standard. Your expectations of Edward are too high for anyone to meet." She pointed out.

I sighed. She was right. "Is Edward jealous of Nate?" I had to ask. I had to.

Alice just looked at me wryly. "Now why would he be jealous of Nate?" She said in a 900 number voice.

X.

"Am I paranoid or are people staring?" I asked Edward on Monday. I had decided to stay out of school for the rest of the week. Me and Edward didn't exactly resolve our issue but we let it go.

"They're just lousy humans, Bella. They will forget about you the second some other story becomes the gossip of the town." Edward tried to comfort me as he opened my locker.

"So they are staring at me?"

Edward didn't answer at first. "Kind of." He said, sheepishly.

"I'm not a little girl. You don't need to protect me." I said in a annoyed sing a song voice.

"It's in my nature, love." Edward said, imitating my tone.

I rolled my eyes but grabbed his hand anyway. Throughout English we just sat in the back bored. I was zoning out when Edward started rubbing his hand on the inside of my thigh. It tickled. I squirmed in my seat, but he didn't let up.

"Stop it." I giggled, trying to keep quiet and unnoticed. Edward didn't stop. "Edward!" I hush yelled. "Stop!" I laughed, when his hand started going higher.

"Make me." He challenged with a grin on his face. As if to prove he was just trying to get to me, his started sliding his hand up my skirt.

"You're so annoying." I giggled as I kicked him in the leg.

Edward feigned shock. "I could call that domestic violence."

"Bite me." I mumbled as he took his hand away.

"Okay," Edward shrugged then leaned in for the kill.

I almost squirmed out if my seat. "No," I laughed too loud as he grabbed my throat and bit me with his lips covering his teeth.

Everyone in the class was staring at us. Not that Edward cared. I tried to push him away but he refused. "Let them look," He shrugged.

"Do you get tired of being the town skank?" Jessica asked.

"Do you get tired of being treated for gonorrhea?" I said as Edward finally pulled away.

Jessica was about to say something when Edward spoke to me. "Ignore her. Right now." He demanded. "She's not worth your time."

Jessica didn't speak after she heard that.

X.

As we walked out of English, Alice danced over to us. "Geez, Edward. Could you guys have been any louder?"

"Not too many people cared. The teacher was out of the room too," Edward stated. I was only half listening to them as my gaze spotted Aidenn.

That when a thought occurred to me. Where was Nate? I hadn't seen him since I left his house to go to the Cullens' mansion.

"Hey, Aidenn!" I called, coming up to him while he was talking to Janelle's rude friend that I remembered had said bad things about me right before my eyes. I purposely shuffled her out of my way. "Where's Nate?" I asked

"Mom told him he could miss school if he took her to her hair appointment."

I laughed along with him. Sounded like Kayla to me.

"So how's Renee?" Aidenn asked. He had heard me cry to Nate half the first night I was at there house about how no one, not even my own mother, loved me. "Have you talked to her?"

I shook my head, walking away. Aidenn followed me, much to that one girl's dismay. "Is she busy-" I didn't let him finish.

"No. She's just-" I couldn't come up with the words. "I don't know. I don't want to talk about it."

"Did you call her?" I did the next morning after I stayed at Nate's. You'd think after our fight and her obsessive emails, she'd eagerly want to talk but she didn't even answer.

"Yeah. Listen Aids, I appreciate your concern-"

"But you don't wanna talk about it. I understand." Aidenn said, very nicely. "Just sayin, Renee always seemed like the kind to kick someone's ass if they wronged her or you. Especially you."

"I had to get it from somewhere, right." I smiled at him.

X.

Alice sat in the backseat, chatting my ear off, all the way home. My new home, I guess.

Alice's nonstop talking usually annoys me but instead it made me long for Allie, my over bubbly friend. Her nonstop talking and high pitched voice when she got happy with her big smile. For a second I thought I smelled her. Her scent was exactly a cross between Juicy Couture and her mother's perfume, Miracle. I would know. I was there when she decided to mix them together in the 6th grade. Since that day she had worn the combination every day.

I wondered for a moment if she still wore it or if she had quit by now. It was almost overpowering sometimes but it was consistency and sometimes that's all I wanted. I think that's why she wore it. She wanted something constant almost as badly as I did. Her parents' random divorces and other kids from multiple affairs left her and her little sister isolated and abandoned a lot of the time.

Me and Edward watched TV for a little while after we got settled in the house. Every few minutes our lips would meet then only disconnect to let me breathe. After about an hour of mindless television a commercial for diapers came on.

I watched as the baby toddled across the screen with a huge grin on its face that only a baby could possess.

I didn't expect Edward's voice when he spoke; it made me jump. "Do you ever wish. . ." He trailed off.

"That you and me could have a baby?" I raised an eyebrow. Where was he going with this? "I hadn't considered it, actually." My response may have sounded a little rude but oh well.

"Nevermind. . ." Edward stated, quietly.

"Why nevermind? You can stop walking on eggshells around me, Edward." I snapped.

"Are you just looking to fight? Because that seems to be all you're doing?" He snapped right back at me.

"And you're mister innocent?"

Edward stopped for a second. "If you want to fight with someone, go find Nate." He said, slowly.

"Why do you keep on bringing Nate into our fights?"

"Because that's where you want to be!" He exclaimed.

I didn't say anything for a second. "If I wanted to be with Nate, I would be with him right now. I'm not because I want to be with you."

"Well lately, you haven't been acting like it."

"You know what, Edward? Why don't you decide what you want?"

"Excuse me?" His eyes cut to me, fast as lightening.

"All you've been doing is tiptoeing around, trying to never say the wrong thing to me. Why don't you just tell me what you want from me?"

Edward just stared at me for a solid five minutes. "I want to be with the person I fell in love with."

X.

Edward left after saying that without an explanation. I knew I should have followed him, tried to work it out but I could find a way to stand up without my legs going to jelly. When I tried, I ended up on the ground, leaning back against the couch.

I thought I was alone when I let my guard down and allowed a few tears to slip.

I tried to not think of what was going on between me and Edward and what it meant and what we both had said, just so I could make it through this moment without falling to pieces. That proved to be harder than I'd imagined.

While I was lost in thought, the doorbell rang. "That's strange." I mumbled to myself as I walked towards the door. I don't think I've ever heard the doorbell before. No one visits the Cullens or can even find the house.

And no one else was checking to see who'd come to the door.

I opened the door only to see Nate.

"Do you wanna do me a huge favor?" Was the first thing he said.

"What?" I asked, cautiously.

"Be my date to this wedding."

**AN: Okay so this chapter isn't my best and it didn't turn out hte way I had planned but I'm kind of done forcing my outline to happen. It turns out weird and awkward when I do so I think I'm going to have outtakes when I'm all done with this story. Just letting you know.**

**Next chapter Edward and Bella are going to have more to say to each(not bad or fighting, necessarily) and Nate will be there. Somewhere, I don't know yet. Anyhoo, please please please leave a review. It means so much to me and it's what keeps me updating. So please review.**

**Please**

**Thank you(:**


	48. Author's Note(Read It Please)

I'm truly sorry this isn't an update, guys. Okay I got a PM today from someone wondering what was going on with Nate: Bella's Untold Past and Secrets and I thought I owed you guys to let you know what was going on.

If anyone is still reading this, I'm sorry I haven't done anything for this story in six months. I'm working on updating and I'm going to try my hardest to get it up soon but I am only human.

Now I just wanted to explain why I've been so wishy washy for a while. I have been having anxiey and depression problems for about three years now. It's been sprialing worse and worse. I have just started figuring out how to fix them and have seen three doctors and a psycologist. I'm getting on track right but it's a process so bear with me.

I know writers on here have such lame excuses and I am sorry it seems like just another but I have not given up on this story and I hope you'll forgive me and be willing to comtinue reading.

Life isn't always easy and some things just take longer than others.

And for the record I'm not spelling checking this so my grammar may be crappy, don't judge.


	49. Chapter 47: The Wedding

I giggled as Nate zipped me up, making it exceedingly harder for him to not pinch my skin in the dress. I was trying on different dresses to wear to the wedding that Nate had so kindly invited me to about three hours before it took place. "'Kay, this looks good. Get it," He started to exit the changing stall I had dragged his sorry ass into, saying if he wanted to go to the wedding with me, he had to wait for me to make myself look pretty.

"Not so fast, Nathann." I tugged the back of his shirt. "I'm still not happy with this one," I admired the peach colored dress in the mirror. "It doesn't scream, 'Bella!' to me." Nate mumbled something and rolled his eyes but didn't give me any annunciated answer. "Why are you being such a pain in my ass?" I asked, not seriously trying to be rude but not joking either.

"Me?" Nate half laughed, half yelled. "I'm waiting for you to find your 'perfect dress' to go to a wedding that my dad is paying me to show up to. I've now watched you try on about twenty different dresses and they all look the same!" He wasn't pissed, he was tired. I didn't know too much about many people-my father included-but I knew Nate like the back of my hand.

I laughed quietly at his tone quickly stripped it off and went to grab a short white dress with a sweetheart neckline. Nate zipped it up for me quickly as I spun around in front of the mirror. I admired myself in it for a minute before looking at Nate. "Well?" I asked. He was so dang vocal on the other ones, I expected him to have a big reaction to this one too.

He looked mesmerized, almost like he was looking through me instead of at me. "You look. . . ." He didn't finish.

"I look?" I prompted.

"You look like you did at our freshman homecoming. . . ." I softened my gaze him, smiling.

I could have said a lot of gooey things-like telling him I was the same girl I was back then or some snarky comments-who wants to look the same at 18 as they do at 15-but in the end I just mumbled, "Before everything went to hell."

X.

I bought that dress and wore it out of the store, leaving the clothes that I had borrowed from Alice that morning inside the dressing room. She acted like clothes were disposable anyway. Besides, it might help a homeless size two bum going through Macy's dressing rooms.

I was just being sarcastic but in reality that may be me in a few months, if Edward didn't forgive me and I got sick of Nate's family. Both situations were possible. Nate wished he was homeless sometimes.

I pushed that thought away quickly, not wanting to dwell on it. Weddings were happy times and worse case, I beg Jacob to let me live with him.

Then again, Billy is Charlie's best friend. Maybe I'd be homeless after all.

I knew that I was overreacting. Nate's family was better than the streets and Edward would never make me leave, if I had nowhere else to go. Still, I couldn't force myself to feel relieved.

"You look like you're going to be sick or cry," Nate murmured, squeezing my arm, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"So do you," I mumbled back, glaring. No one was paying attention to us, all too busy with their own thoughts.

This wedding might have been a bit boring if it wasn't for the fact that we were sitting with Nate's family. Kayla liked to pretend to be so touched, Tom liked to give commentary on everything-like how the bridesmaids were fat or the mother of the bride looked like she wanted to screw the groom, Summer liked to insult the bride, Aidenn always wanted to check out the bridesmaids, Claire criticized what everyone was wearing and Nate just listened.

"Forgot how quiet you at weddings." I whispered to Nate. He never talked for some reason.

"I find them boring as hell." Nate said back.

The wedding march came on and I knew the bride was coming. I hadn't been to a wedding since Renee and Phil's so I was pretty out of practice. I actually forgot to stand up when the bride started down the aisle. Nate all but lifted me upwards. "Thanks," I said quickly, fixing my hair.

He was laughing with his dad. "Look at her waddle."

"Oh my god! She's pregnant!" Summer gasped, smiling.

Claire looked down subconsciously. "She's not mocking you, stupid." Aidenn said to her.

I was only half listening to their exchange. "Um, guys. . . She's really pregnant. . ." I fought my own laughs off, without success.

The red haired bride came down the aisle with a chubby 5'0 man who must have been her father. She was waddling instead of walking though. Looking at her, even form a distance, she was clearly a good five or six months pregnant. Even without looking at her stomach, which the dress had tried in vain to hide, her face had ten pounds of fat around it.

I said this to Nate. "No, Princess. That's actually just her face." He smirked.

"Remind me how do we know her?" I asked, wryly as we sat down with everyone else. The bride hadn't made it to the end of the isle yet but everyone got tired.

"Her sister cuts my mom's hair."

". . . And you got invited how?"

"Her sister didn't want to come."

"What an awful sister!" I exclaimed.

"Shhh," Kayla hushed us from her seat, three chairs down. "Be polite, you two!"

"Yeah, geez, Isabel!" Nate mocked. "Be polite. The whale's getting married!"

I snickered, which just landed the eyes of other guests on me. Kayla glared at me but that had more to do with, she wanted to lay low to steal a wedding present later. The Carters were such a classy family. . . .Then again, I was the loud one.

X.

The whale married her groom and the wedding seamlessly turned more into an open bar party. As the reception started, ten feet out the doors of the church, in the big smoothly cut lawn and parking lot, Kayla and Tom disappeared.

"Where did mom and dad go?" Asked Claire.

Nate shrugged, "Probably getting drunk at the bar."

"That's where I'm going!" Summer called, drifting past us with a random guy who she'd used as her date for the occasion.

"My sister's a slut," Nate and Aidenn said around the same time.

"Well, neither of you two are getting drunk," I told them. Claire laughed. "And you're not either!" I ordered, feeling like their mother.

"Yes, ma'am." Nate mocked as he picked me up in his arms. "You're dancing with me."

X.

I was still an awful dancer-and Nate made sure I knew-but he wasn't much better. "You know, it's all about the leading." I remarked. I remembered Edward telling me that at prom.

"I'm leading you!" He exclaimed.

"Like a duck leads a walrus!"

"You're calling yourself a walrus?" He asked, making fun of me.

"Shut up." I shut him down.

He pretended to laugh. "You think you're so funny, don't you?"

"I know I am."

The wedding had the cheapest food and alcohol that I'd ever seen. No one seemed to really care about the bride and groom too much either. Even the father of the bride was drinking alone and the mother was trying to find a new date.

I wondered idly if that was similar to my parents. Then I shuddered, but luckily, Nate didn't notice.

We didn't say much as the songs changed. Nate uselessly spun me in a circle a few more times as Feels Like Home played.

"Is this how it would have been for us?" I asked before I could stop myself.

Nate didn't seem fazed by my question so his mind must have been on the same track. "Nope." He smiled a little lopsided, his pink lips pressed together. "We would have been on some country club too fancy for us or some beach in California. You wouldn't have allowed us to be married anywhere remotely normal. I would have probably not even worn a tux and you would have wanted a slutty two piece dress that showed off your belly ring." He recited.

I smiled at his imagery. "Don't forget the tiara I always wanted."

"Of course," He laughed, more at me than with me. "It probably would have been a cheap piece of crap from Michael's."

I didn't refute his insult but instead observed something else. "You're thought about this before?" I already knew before I asked.

He nodded, unashamed. "Nothing else to do sometimes."

"That's so sad," I said, half smiling as I wrapped my arms around his neck. We weren't really moving anymore, just swaying from one side to the other.

"Like you haven't thought of it!" He accused, still smiling, like he already knew.

I guess he did. I smiled wryly. "Nothing else to do sometimes." I repeated, smirking.

X.

"I got to go to the bathroom, Princess," Nate informed as we headed to his car. "I'll meet you at the truck."

"'Kay."

He was halfway to the bathrooms when he turned around. "Bella?" He called

I spun towards him, hearing my actual name. "Yeah?" I was weary in anticipation.

"Thanks for being my date tonight." He smiled. I could feel my lips turning upwards at him. I would have said no problem but he was already heading towards the bathroom.

I walked back to the truck at a slow pace, not in any hurry because, honestly, I had no clue where I was staying tonight. Do I go back to the Cullens or spend the night at Nate's?

Almost like a sign from God, I felt someone next to me that wasn't there before. It was dark and no one would notice his speed in the night. "Hey, Edward." I greeted meekly.

"Hello." He said, hesitantly, missing a beat.

I didn't say anything else, unsure. Obviously I could apologize for earlier but I couldn't seem to find the words. I didn't expect him to follow me here. "Edward. . ." I started but didn't continue.

"Where are you staying?" He asked when I didn't continue.

I shrugged after a minute. "No clue."

How could this be? I had spent almost every day with this guy for almost two years and now we were talking like we were strangers. I suddenly realized Nate and me aren't the only relationship that's changed.

Frustration, without warning, came pumping through me. I looked back up at him, expectantly but he didn't say anything though he looked like he wanted to.

And like most situations lately, I handled it the only way I knew how. Lashing out. "Do you want to say something to me, Edward?" I snapped.

He didn't speak for a minute. ". . .Yes." He finally said.

I looked around for someone else-possibly or another Carter-who would be watching. Someone Edward wouldn't want to hear this. There was no one. "Then . . . just say it." I encouraged, more kindly.

He looked around. ". . . .I can't." He whispered, strained.

I threw my hands up in the air. "I hate that! I mean I really hate that! You know I hate it when people do that!" I exploded.

"Bella-" He started.

"I hate it when people do that! You want me to know that you want to say something but you don't have the courage to actually say it!" I accused, knowing how mean I was being and that I should talk to Edward like this but I was sick and tired of creating limits and barrier for some people and not others. I was who I was and I felt how I felt and I reacted however I felt like reacting.

And then I knew I was becoming something I didn't want to be.

Edward had gone silent again. "Do you want to say something, Edward?" I asked again.

"Yes but I can't. I can't say it . . . to you." He struggled. I'd never heard him struggle with words before.

I turned around and started towards Nate's truck again. I was done dealing with this drama for as long as I could see. I'd had enough.

Or so I thought before I heard my vampire boyfriend speak. "I want to tell you that I love you." I stopped in my tracks at his voice. He hesitated before speaking again but I waited now. "I want to tell you to forget about him. He's a great guy and I know for a fact that you love him and I know you had a child with him but I still want you to tell him to get on the next plane back to Arizona and just be with me. I want to tell you that from the moment I met you, you have been the most important thing in my world and I don't care where you came from or what you did in your past. I still want you and that hasn't changed but, Bella, I'm not Nate and I can't be Nate and I can't change for you anymore. I've tried and tried but I am who I am and I didn't grow up in Phoenix, with all your best friends and you and I haven't know since age 13 and I didn't shoplift with you or watch you get your bellybutton pierced or get suspended or vandalize school and can't pretend I have. I'm not the person that can fight with you constantly and I can't turn myself into that person and even if I could, I know that I wouldn't because that's just not me." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I want to tell you that I love you more than anything else in the world and I just want to leave this entire place behind, Charlie, Nate, all of them and leave, even if just for a day." Edward's voice didn't falter the entire time he spoke to me, even though I wasn't facing him. After a minute he spoke again. "But I can't tell you any of that, can I? Because what kind of person would that make me, if I told you that?"


	50. Chapter 48: Unexpected Visitor

**AN: K, I'm trying to update as soon as possible from now on. Except a few updates a week from now on, if I can keep up haha. **

**Please don't give up on me or this story. I will never abandon this story or any story written by me. I promise.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the storyline and the characters I created.**

I didn't know exactly what to say at that moment. Hell, I still don't even know exactly what I did say. All I know is I ran to Edward and started blubbering and the next thing I registered was waking up in his room. Somewhere in there, I let Nate know where I was.

I knew Edward was right. I knew I had changed. I wasn't the person he fell in love with. But if I was being completely honest with myself, I wasn't the person Nate fell in love with either. All I knew is that I love Edward and I love Nate.

But I needed Edward more.

I woke up in his arms to him covering my face in kisses. "Mmm," I murmured. I heard him chuckle, petting my hair before pulling away. "I didn't tell you to stop." I said crossly as he leapt out of bed.

"We need to get ready if we're going to make it to school today." Edward smirked.

I didn't move. "And if I don't want to go to school today?" I asked, lightly.

Edward didn't answer right away, running a hand through his perfectly disarrayed hair. ". . .Well, then I suppose I can't force you." His face broke out into a grin. "It wouldn't be very nice, after all."

I smiled back. "No, it wouldn't." Edward climbed back in bed with me and I quickly snuggled back into his chest.

We laid like that, his hand rubbing my back, until Alice popped in. "I hate you guys." She said, shaking her head, feigning anger.

"Why?" I asked, though I didn't really care at the moment.

"Because I have to go to school, just to cover for you two being lazy." She tapped her fingers, impatiently.

"No one said you have to go, Alice." Edward said.

"Well, someone's got to keep up appearances in this town." Her mouth came up in a smile, despite the fact I didn't think she's kidding. "But you are going tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes. I couldn't stand it when people got bossy with me. "And why is that?"

"Because tomorrow's the senior prom, silly." Edward nudged me.

I opened my half closed eyes to look at him. "We're actually going to that?" I asked, shocked. "Why? We went last year. . ."

"Well, someone dragged us to the mall not too long ago-" Alice started.

"_You_ dragged _me_ to the mall!" I corrected.

"You both wanted to go, actually," Edward modified.

"Come on, Bella! It'll be fun! Besides you already got your dress!" I started to argue she cut me off. "No buts! You're going!"

"Okay but that still doesn't say why I have to go to school," I tried to hedge.

"You have to attend school to attend dances." Alice shrugged as I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Leave. I need my beauty sleep." I waved her away.

She laughed her silvery laugh. "Good! Take care of my raw materials!"

"Raw materials?" I mumbled?

"I'm doing your hair and make-up tomorrow." And with that, she skipped out of the room.

I groaned. "I don't like her. . ." I mumbled to Edward, pushing my face into the pillow.

"She's your best friend." Edward pointed out, wryly.

One of the twelve.

X.

Speaking of my friends, I woke up from my second-sleep alone in Edward's room, to my cell phone vibrating. I saw the name and picked up instantly. "Ricky?" I said, groggily.

"Oh, so the tables have turned. I woke you up." He mocked right away.

"Yes, you did." I said, slowly, still not awake. "Why?"

"Bored." He said simply, sounding like he was chewing something. "I miss you. A lot." He said after a short pause. "Any chance you'll come visit me?"

"I miss you too, boo." I couldn't help but smile. "But I don't know about visiting any time soon. I've kind of got a lot on my plate right now." Besides I didn't want to leave Edward and Edward couldn't go to Phoenix.

"More important than me? Your best friend in the entire world-" I heard someone yell in the background. "Well, one of them." He corrected.

"Who else is with you?" I asked, only half interested.

"Some random chick that I hate with a burning passion." He stated, casually.

"So. . . .Coco?"

"Yup."

"Aw, be nice to her."

"I don't like her."

"Why?"

"You should know."

"Well, I don't."

"But you should."

"But I don't."

Before he could answer me like a five year old again, I heard a loud thump. "Shit!" Ricky yelled.

"What's wrong?" I asked, immediately.

"Francia, get out of here!" Ricky ordered, not responding to me. "Faster, you idiot! Hurry!"

"Ricky!"

He didn't hear me. "Francia, hurry your ass up! Get out the window!"

"Richard!" I yelled into the phone.

There was a pause and I heard a slamming shut. "Ew," Ricky finally said. "Don't call me that."

"What's wrong?" I asked, still panicked.

"My parents are home. . . .shit, I gotta go." I heard him hang up but I was still yelling into the phone.

And this is why I didn't visit.

X.

"What's his dad like?" Edward asked after I explained mine and Ricky's conversation that morning.

"Umm," I hesitated. "How do I describe Ford Underwood. . ."

Edward looked at me, puzzled. "His name is Ford?"

"Like the car brand?" Emmett asked from the other side of Edward.

"Yeah." I laughed. "Ricky's mom is named Bambi. . ." I added.

"Bambi?" Emmett boomed.

"Like the deer?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, like the cartoon deer. I think it's also her stripper name." Both of them laughed but I was dead serious. "No, guys, I'm not kidding. That's actually her stripper name. Its how she got pregnant with Ricky in the first place."

"Stripping?" Edward asked, looking taken back.

"I'm not quite sure." I hesitated again. "Ricky never talks about the circumstances around his upbringing too much." He was always trying to keep his home life private. It took him until freshman year to tell us his parents' names. "To be honest, it always seemed like his dad was violent but Ricky never acted abused. Just pissed off and. . .always trying to get out of his house if his dad is home. Especially if he had someone else over. I remember, I fell asleep over there when we were supposed to be doing a project together. I woke up at Nate's because Ricky didn't want me there if his father was home."

Edward looked at me oddly. "That sounds rather suspicious."

"I know." I agreed.

"Maybe his dad wasn't violent, just pissed off." Emmett suggested.

"Doubt it but I think he targeted his anger more at Bambi than Ricky."

"Was his mom nice?" Emmett asked.

I didn't speak for a second. "I only met her twice and she was, um," I suppressed a smile. "On duty, one of those times."

It took them very few seconds to pick up what I meant. "She was a prostitute too?" Edward asked.

I nodded, laughing even though it was serious. "Yeah, me and Briee and Mason were walking home one time and his mom was on the street corner. She wouldn't look at us or talk to us. The only reason we knew it was her is Mason recognized her from when Ricky and him used to carpool as little kids." I explained. "Only, her face looked much, uh, harder."

Edward got where I was going. "She used drugs." He didn't even sound surprised.

"She was a prostitute." Emmett said as if it should be obvious. "Obviously she was high on something."

"Obviously," Edward taunted.

"And that's the sad life of Richard Bradyn Underwood." I concluded.

Emmett shook his head for a minute. "Who knew humans could actually be interesting." He nudged Edward who narrowed his eyes at him. "Oh, sorry, Bells."

I laughed. "Non-taken."

X.

Turns out Alice meant what she said about forcing me to attend school the next day, though I didn't even see her that morning. By now, I hoped she figured out that I didn't need her telling me what to wear or how to do my make up or hair. Alice likes people to look like Cabaret Barbie and I like to look like Malibu Stripper Barbie.

I admired myself in the mirror once more, twirling around in my shirt, loose dress that I was wearing to school. Edward caught the end of it and tugged me into the circle of his arms. "Hey there, pretty girl."

"Hey," I beamed for a minute, until the thoughts of prom invaded my mind again, like they had since Alice and Edward told me I had to actually go. Although I did hope every one of those ridiculous humans saw me. No doubt I'd look better than any of those cheap, caked on make-up, skanks.

I almost sounded vain, even to myself, but I tried not to really give that too much thought. I hate arrogant people and the last thing I needed is to hate myself.

I already do, a small voice told me in the back of my brain but I told it to go jump off a bridge.

"Excited for school?" Edward asked, a corner of his more turning upwards.

I rolled my eyes, breaking my train of thought. "Oh, you know it."

Edward turned and towed me along with him, down the stairs and out to his car. "What do you think is going to happen today?"

"What do you mean?"

"Everyday someone has some sort of confrontation with you at school." Edward smirked. "I was wondering who it would be today."

I laughed. "Jessica, Lauren, Chelsea, um there a lot. . . ."

Edward chuckled. "Girls just don't like you." He teased.

"You think you're kidding."

"No, I'm not." Edward shook his head before pointing to his temple with his first finger. "Mind reader remember?"

X.

Unfortunately, school for the first time was normal. Nobody acted like nothing was out of the usual about me or my friends anymore. Almost as if everyone was beginning to grow used to me being a slut and Nate being a loner and Edward just being a perfectly disconnected stranger. Too bad, I was actually looking forward to a fight.

Also unfortunately, because I didn't get in any altercations today, I wasn't banned from prom, which means Edward and Alice would drag me to it, kicking and screaming if they had to.

"Why do you look so pissed?" Nate asked, keeping pace with me after lunch, two steps behind Alice and Edward, who was towing me along.

"I'm apparently going to the prom." I grumbled, glaring at the back of Alice's head.

Nate laughed. "Well, that makes two of us."

I spun my head towards him, unable to stop because Edward was dragging me forward. "_You're_ going?" I asked, shocked. "Why?"

Nate gave me a look. "Geez, Princess, dial down the surprise in your voice."

Did someone ask him? "Who are you going with?" I asked, keeping emotion out of my voice. Lauren? Jessica? Chelsea? Josslyn?

"No one," He snorted. "Those girls you can't stand asked me but I kept turning them down." He smirked.

"Why?" I asked after a minute, trying to appear uninterested, staring at Edward's back now.

Nate's smile grew. "I knew you wouldn't be happy if I took one of them to prom."

I didn't answer, now looking for Edward's expression but he remained emotionless. Just as the awkward I was feeling started to reach Nate, Alice spun on her heels, skillfully walking backwards.

"I'm taking Jasper! He doesn't go here anymore." She informed him. "I made him buy a tux that matched my dress that matched the corsage I knew he'd buy me. I picked it out. . ." I tuned her out, clinging closer to Edward.

Edward turned slightly to look at me, smirking. "Why are you dreading prom so much?" He asked. "You said yourself; this is a perfect opportunity to show off."

"Yeah, why are you complaining?" Nate asked me, clearly taking Edward's point of view.

"Because I'm probably going to look more like some sophisticated beauty queen." I rolled my eyes, looking in Alice's direction. I think they both knew I didn't fit the bill to be sophisticated. "I'm not getting myself ready." I hinted to Nate.

Comprehension dawned on his face at the same time Edward spoke. "If you could get your own self ready and pick out your own dress, will you go without complaining?" He asked, his voice growing hopeful.

My eyes lit up slightly. Suddenly, Nate and Edward were making this sound like a more fun occasion than I'd originally had in mind. "Yes!" I promised.

"Okay, then forget about Alice." He promised back.

"Hey!" Alice exclaimed.

"Hey yourself." Her brother shot back. "You'll be busy with Jasper anyway." Edward shrugged. "And my girlfriend isn't three. She doesn't need to be told what to wear."

Alice rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue, but, to my surprise, held up less of a fight than I thought she would. I turned back towards Nate. "So, I guess you get to see what another Cullen looks like tonight."

"I already saw the blonde girl." Nate's face looked disgusted. "Aidenn hit on her." He added, casually.

I stopped in place, my head going between Edward and Alice's very amused expressions. "Why hasn't someone told me this story yet?"

"We didn't want to embarrass the poor kid." Edward explained, grinning now, very amused.

"Rosalie turned him down so fast, I wanted to hug him." Alice added.

"I don't think he knew she was taken." Edward said on Aidenn's behalf.

"He does now." Nate added, fighting his laughter. "He almost shit his pants when that huge guy came up behind him."

"Em almost tackled him." Edward threw in, somehow finding nothing wrong with that.

Nate obviously did. "My brother's just a kid. He didn't know what he was doing or that she was seeing somebody. . . . And he kind of thinks he's hot shit right now too."

I rolled my eyes, glancing back at him. "Wonder where he gets that from."

X.

About ten minutes after I arrived at the Cullen Mansion did I realize all the dresses I had somehow bought from that store with Alice and Edward, though I was practically asleep when Edward carried me out, were still sitting at Charlie's. I looked and looked through my suitcases in vain but the only explanation I could think of was I had left them in the bottom of my closet where I'd left all the clothes I couldn't fit inside one of my bags.

I also remembered the key that I had kept. It was lying on Edward's dresser. Carefully I picked it up and glanced at it for a minute, determining if it was right for me to enter Charlie's house without permission. Technically, he'd never know-he didn't get off work until closer to eight at night-and it's definitely not _breaking_ and entering when you own a key.

Then again, Charlie is the chief so he could do whatever he wanted, I suppose.

Hopefully he'll never find out.

"Alice," I knocked lightly before entering her room.

"Hey, girly." She called, looking in the mirror.

I hesitated, wondering what she was doing. "You are aware that prom isn't until nine tonight, right?"

"Eight thirty," She corrected.

"Big difference." I brushed off. I bit my lip before speaking again. "Um, can you see my future?" I asked.

"Depends if you're planning on seeing Nate. So far, yes I can see you crystal clear. Every once in a while, sometime during the course of the night-my visions have been slightly inconsistent-you'll likely see Nate and so there's a blur here and there." I almost forgot his future was blurry to Alice.

"I wasn't asking for Nate-" I started.

"Oh, I know." She cut me off. I waited for her to continue. Finally, she turned to look at me. "You'll be fine if you go to Charlie's. _He_ won't catch you." The tone of her voice made me more nervous than before. "It's fine!" She encouraged brightly. She seemed sense my hesitation. "Go!"

"Okay," I murmured, unsure, heading for the door.

Edward was down by the large entryway. "Do you need a ride, love?" He asked.

"No," I shook my head. "I can drive," I reached for his key to the Volvo.

"Be careful," He warned, tilting my face up to kiss him.

"Don't worry," I mocked. "I'm not going to wreck your oh-so-sacred Volvo."

Edward narrowed his eyes at me. "I was talking about oh-so-scared girlfriend." He whispered in my ear. I rolled my eyes but kissed his cheek again before I left.

X.

I was surprised at how easy driving Edward's car was. I almost regretted retracting my offer for him to buy me a new car. The Volvo went quick and smooth around corners and bumps. I grew a better understanding of why Edward liked to go 100 mph, though I doubted he'd appreciate me doing the same.

I started to speed up slightly, enjoying myself, when I looked in my rearview mirror and noticed someone tailgating me. At first I thought it was a cop and immediately slowed down. After a second, I realized it wasn't a cop, just a random car.

Remembering my accident from the other day, I slowed down instantaneously and tried to let them pass me. They quickly swerved into the other lane and sped up right beside me. Creeped out, I avoided their stare, just continuing straight ahead. I kept maybe the only decent advice either of my parents had ever given me, 'Never pull over when someone is stalking you. Never stop or slow down. Just keep going and wait for them to leave first.'

After another few minutes, I glanced back over discreetly, only to see them start to drive out of my view. I barely caught a glimpse of their face. Not enough to even register it.

But it looked familiar.

X.

Once I got to Charlie's house, I hurried out of the car and up the front steps, sliding the key into the hole, praying Charlie didn't change the locks. Apparently he didn't because I got in without a problem.

I hurried into the house, about to slam up the stairs when I noticed the TV was on. Freezing, like in a bad movie, I stared at the couch, cautiously looking for Charlie.

But it wasn't Charlie I saw.

I didn't move for over a minute but when I finally did, I knew I had no way of avoiding this. I took the walk forward, not looking her in the eye and plopped down on the couch, right next to my mom.

"What do you want?" I asked, grimly.

I felt her turn towards me with an expression I didn't expect. I expected pissed off and ready to battle. I didn't expect the look on Renee's face to be so gentle. I don't remember seeing that look from anyone in a long time. Her words brought a continuation to our fight over the phone.

"There isn't a moment in my life where I wished I didn't have you."


End file.
